75 - Samantha Lengerich Pt 2: You Have Overcome All of Your Hardest Days

Continue with nursing student and Salt Lake City, Utah native Honored Guest Samantha Lengerich as she talks about unconditional love in nursing, healthcare trauma, the most beautiful part of nursing, “getting it” in nursing school, supporting peers, the importance of the way you speak to yourself, dealing with chronic migraines in nursing school, and more!

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome back everybody to part two of the Samantha experience. We're actually picking up right where we left off in that first episode. For those of you that skipped the first episode, I'm not going to encourage you to go back and listen because you skipped it for good reason. That being said, we're starting where we left off there. Nothing too horrible. We're not going to get into details, but there are things that have happened in Samantha's life that have helped inform who she is. And that's where we're picking up. So don't worry. There's nothing too serious happening here. But we do have to mention it because the story is just powerful and has helped inform the direction she's going. But I'm not going to steal her thunder. So Samantha, we left off on that last episode talking about your family, talking about how amazing they are, talking about unconditional love that you saw in that family due to circumstances, having a sibling that passed at a very young age, that died at a very young age. And so, you know, obviously we don't need to rehash those details. I appreciate you being open there. But how does that story pick up and where does that bring you to today? So I think that where I want to start off is that unconditional love. That's what drew me to nursing. That nursing is this beautiful opportunity to be with people in their most vulnerable moment, whatever that looks like. There's really no patient that isn't vulnerable with their nurse. Whether you look at OB and that's all sorts of up and personal, or it's ICU and that's again, very personal environment or just a patient who comes in and they're short of breath and it's asthma. There's still a vulnerability there that you have to have with your nurse. And there's nothing, there's, it's scary to be admitted to the hospital. As healthcare workers, we don't necessarily appreciate that every day that when you go to the hospital, you're going to a scary place. We just think we're going to work. Patients are scared and fear is huge and My mom has opened up with her experience of being in the hospital with children, myself and my brother included, that it's terrifying as a parent. And it's, you are watching the thing you create in and the person you love most and you can't help them. They're suffering and you can't help. And you've got people who are just... trying to get things done. They have an agenda, we have an agenda, we know what we want to get done. But they don't, like there's a massive gap there between what the parent knows and what the nurse knows. And so her sharing that with me and knowing that I have this want to be unconditionally there for my patients really inspired me to want to go to Peds. Not only do I love children and I love... being around them, if you gave me the choice of talking to adult or talking to a child, I'll talk to a child. They're much more fun. But that want to be there for people like my mom, essentially, and provide that care and try and bridge some of the gap between parents and nurses was really driving for me. Just to try and bring a sense of, you know, it's okay. Like, I have your child's best interests at heart. and I'm gonna do everything I can to advocate for your child because they, like you can't do everything you want to do right now, but I respect that and I will follow the parent. And it's hard, I work in Peds at the moment as I mentioned in the last episode and sometimes it's hard because family members can be really difficult. Like they can be bratty, they can be overbearing, they can be emotional, I mean it ranges. And my mom said to me, I was telling her about this and some of my frustration with some nurses that are just, you know, they get so irritated with the family members that I look at it like, okay, but like think about from their perspective, what's going on real quick. Like just put yourself in their shoes for 10 seconds and you will see that this is not like, yes, it's frustrating for us as nurses when parents are difficult, but they are going through sometimes. 10 times worse than making your day a little bit harder at work. for sure. there's respectful ways to do that and then sometimes people don't do it respectfully and it's so huge to just again in that moment no matter how long you've been a nurse to go, okay hold on. Because it's one thing if it's yourself, right? But if it's your kids, that mama bear, that papa bear, they come out and they come out to play like hard. It's, it's, it can get really intense. mean, I've seen parents fire nurses and it's like, it, can get ugly, like absolutely. But I think the important thing I look at is, okay, but if it was my mom, like if it was my mom and Jacob in that room, how would I be wanting to take care of them? And that will, I've used that little trick with so many of my patients, not even in Pete's, but in clinical in general. Family members can be really difficult. And I just use that situation was if this was me and my dad, if this was my mom and her kid, if it was my brother in the hospital, right? Like you put yourself in your shoes and put someone you love in that patient bed, it flips your perspective pretty quick. And that's what I wanna do as a nurse is to really be there for the patient and understand that it's so much more than... the disease process. It's what we call in nursing school, holistic care, right? I want to be there for people in their most vulnerable moments and to try and bridge some of the gap that's there because it's not easy as a nurse and you have a lot of patients, but that's kind of what drew me to nursing was that unconditional love, but also trying to just understand where people are and meet them where they are because that's what. my family and what Jacob. Wow, very well said. And with that, was there a time in your past where maybe you were exposed to that sort of care that you are so ably trying to provide to your own patients using your perspective that kind of also maybe very early on helped set you on this path? There was. So when I was 13, I'll cut the story, but essentially my adrenal glands stopped working. To this day, we have no clue why. Best explanation, a virus attacked them. gonna say that's the first thing that pops in my brain. Like that's what the endocrinologist gave us. And for a six month period of my life where your adrenal glands don't work, it doesn't, it's really miserable. You essentially don't produce cortisol. And so I had no immune system whatsoever. And I felt like crap all the time and was missing a bunch of school. But then right before Christmas, I got sick. And because you have no stress hormones to help your body out, I couldn't get rid of this. And so I ended up. in the endocrinologist's office and I had a fever and I was just sitting there with my head like on the desk. She's like, are you okay? Are you okay? And she did what I now know is that orthostatic blood pressure. She made me lay down and then stand up and she looked at my mom and said, we need to take her to the hospital. And so I was admitted right before Christmas and it had been like six months at this point of not knowing what's going on. I endured several tests, passed out. while having one of the tests done because I looked when they were drawing blood. So there was a lot of trauma at this point in regards to healthcare. And I felt like crap right before Christmas. And my mom was scared because obviously with her experience of losing a child, she now has a sick kid in the hospital, so she's freaking out. And we don't have answers. And the nurse who came in, I remember her name, her name was Amy. I can remember what she looks like. She came into the room and I think for the first time in months, she made my mom and I laugh. Like she told a joke. I can't remember what it is, but she made my mom and I laugh. And that was huge. And I can remember her saying to my mom, like, I'm going to take care of your daughter. We're going to get through it. It's going to be okay. Here's the plan. Would you like to talk to me? Like, I want to know about her history. Like, get me up on the story. She just took the time to really get to know my mom. And to some extent me, I was kind of in and out of it, but she really got to know my mom. And that made a huge impact for me because all of a sudden my mom was like, okay, I can breathe. It's going to be okay. But she made me laugh and you know, we had, she had to do some finger poke to get blood. And so she's doing it and she ended up having to do it twice and she felt so bad, but she was just laughing about it. And she was like talking to me. and just made a huge difference. The fact that I had smiled and we had this relationship, it was kind of from that moment going forward, I was like, yep, okay, that's what I wanna do. Like if I can do that for another kiddo and their mom or their parent, whatever the situation, like that, I can go to the grave knowing that. Like that's just so rewarding that she probably had no clue what she did. for me in that moment, but it was life changing to be in a bed and you're like, I'm sick. I'm not going to school. I haven't seen my friends. Like, yeah, this really sucks. Your mom's freaking out. And she came and she's like, yeah, it's okay. Like, we're going to take care of you. I don't know that what's going to happen just yet, but I'm here for you and I will support you and advocate for you. And just having that message and that reassurance makes such a difference when a nurse takes five minutes out of their busy day. to just try and get to know you a little bit, that's the most beautiful part of nursing, right? and I love how you talk about how like, know, she probably didn't know, she didn't, you know, and to this day maybe doesn't know what impact she made on you. I mean, beyond the obvious, like helping you, easing your way, you know, helping you to feel better. But now here, you know, to have you say this story, you know, those are the moments that, and I love flipping the script because I'm like, you know, Samantha, I totally see you down the road and not that we do this for that purpose. But I see you down the road being that story for someone else. And it'll be, you you know those moments in a patient's room, even as a nursing student, where something magical, sacred, holy, has happened that's beyond the ordinary. And you feel that and you go, that was amazing. And I'm going to remember that forever. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, I don't know. But it's not even in those moments, right? Like, who knows? This Amy was probably, you know, she's... She probably was stressed coming into work and she's got to deal with maybe her own kids and life and the stresses. And yet here she has made this impact. And so that to me is the takeaway too, is that anyone listening to this, you never know when you are going to literally change somebody's life, whether it's becoming a nurse or saving their life in a way you don't understand or just offering that compassion. I thank you for sharing that story, Samantha. So now let's fast forward. You want to become a nurse, you go into nursing school. Let's chat about nursing school a bit. Let's get a little practical in this episode. And so what is it that you love most about nursing school? I love the challenge. I love it. I think I hate it too, but it is, it's caused me a lot of anxiety, but at the same time, I love it. I love that there's a critical thinking aspect to it. there's an, like we go to nursing school and you get out and you realize, you know nothing. Like you learn throughout your entire career, but nursing school is the start of that. And there's this beauty of, realizing, and I really saw it in the last seven weeks during this med search clinical that you really, when you finally get the moment where you're like, I get it. Like that's fun. When you patient story together and you're like, yeah, that's what that is. Like that's what that means. That's fun. And it's challenging to get there. And I love that challenge that you have to fight with. Why does this not match what I'm seeing? Why does why does this lab value not make sense in my head? But when you put it together, it's a really, really cool moment when you're like, I get it. And I get why we're doing this for this patient. And I can advocate for it. And I can call the doctor and say, hey, look at this thing. I noticed that we need to address. Like, that's super fun. And I love that about nursing, that you're always on your feet. You're always thinking. And it's just fun when you get to do that all day. And that you get to do it with others too, right? For sure, I mean, you brainstorm off other people all the time. Like nurses, there's this sense of we're together. Like, especially on the floor, I've seen it where it's like, you know what? I don't understand this. Let me go talk to someone else. Let me go grab the charge nurse to look at this patient who may or may not be turning blue. Like, let's, it's a team effort. And that's something that... You don't really see a lot. Like you see, I feel like in so many other majors, there's so much competition and there is competition in nursing school. But I feel like it comes to a point where we understand that like ultimately at the end of the day, it's not going to matter because we're dealing with things that are so much worse than a business major has to deal with. Nothing against business majors, but it's very, it's a very different seriousness. And that seriousness brings this kind of puts the competition aside where you're like, you know what? We're gonna support each other. We're gonna do it. And we're gonna get through it together. And as nurses, we're a team. When you press the staff assist button, I have never seen 20 people move that fast. Like it is, is beautiful how much nurses stick together. Do you, and you kind of already touched on it, but you're kind of segueing into what I wanted to ask to piggyback off of that. Do you find that even despite the maybe initial competition found within nursing schools, do you find that camaraderie there as well? Yeah, I definitely think that nursing school, have this, a sense of camaraderie together. We study together. We talk about midterm skills exams together. We support each other through it. If you have a bad exam, I guarantee you there's 10 people who are willing to help you get better for the next one. And they don't tell you you're a failure if you fail something. just because you don't pass midterm skills doesn't mean you're gonna be a bad nurse. Like, we've all been there, we've all had a bad test, and it absolutely does not mean you are gonna be a bad nurse. That's not even remotely true. And I've seen nursing students say some of the most supportive things to people when you're beating yourself up and someone you don't even know is like, it's okay. You're gonna, it's gonna be okay. Like you're not a bad nurse. You're not a bad person. It's a bad test. Okay. it's huge. And those that are listening that are like, well, that doesn't sound like my program, that doesn't sound like my experience, whatever the case may be, then be the change. Be that change and be supportive for somebody else. And if you're the only one supporting others, so be it. I mean, obviously, don't give so much of yourself that there's nothing left for you. But in those moments, try and be that positive, you know what? Yeah, this sucks. man I'm sorry you didn't pass that, you know I didn't pass this or you know whatever the case may be. Or you know I barely passed or you know grades all of that becomes irrelevant when you are talking about people's lives and all the things. Yes they matter to the point where you need to get through nursing school. Whatever that bar is set at you need to hit that bar. Anything above and beyond that that you clear that's just for you. Honestly and we've said it before and I'll say it again. You're not gonna go into a patient's room going, hey, know, they're never going to ask you, how far above the passing line did you pass your nursing program? Nobody cares. They care that you're there, that you are like the Amy's of the world, that are coming in and giving you that part of themselves that is, as one other honored guest previously established, the intangible part of you that can't be taught. that can't be can't be it can be nurtured it can be grown it can't be taught it's those caring things that you do when you see another human being hurting and you're like I'm there for you I'm there for you so I just I love that I hijacked the mic from you Samantha is there anything you wanted to add on any of that subject at all I think that nails it that you you're always going to have people in nursing school that aren't supportive. There will always be those individuals, but we have a choice every day to wake up and choose who we're going to be. be the don't don't fall into being critical just because that's what everyone else is doing because that's not it's not the way nursing is going to work when you get out there. Yep. And if you decided to, or if you decided by not deciding to make that choice the day before or the day previous or whatever, start today. Start tomorrow. But whatever, you know, just make the change, like be the change. Be the I know it sounds so cliche, but be the change. A couple more practical questions for you there, Samantha. I don't want to, know, you know, I want to honor your time here. But that being said, you know, you well established in that first episode. history with anxiety and the things you had to do to overcome that. Again, for those that maybe, you know what mean, you skipped it or you just didn't hear it, you just heard the second one. For those that aren't alarmed at some kind of heavy topics, go back and listen because wow, what a testimony, what a story, what a, that's all I'm gonna say about that. But with that established history, what advice would you have, practically speaking, for those students beyond the, you know, if things got severe and you need to take those extra steps, but for daily anxiety in nursing school, what are some of the practical advice you'd like to give to those out there that are like, yes, but how? Samantha, I'm not in that place where you're in, but how do I deal with this before midterms, for example? I would say, first off, listen to the way you speak to yourself. That for me was huge. Listen to the inner voice inside your head. If it's not telling you positive things, try and work on that. It's not easy, but your inner voice is so important. And for me, my phrase is you have overcome all of your hardest days. You've done it. And therefore you're going to continue to do it and you are going to continue to grow. And if, even if you don't necessarily 100 % believe it in your gut yet, you can keep repeating it. Eventually you're going to believe it and it will get there. So that's, think the first thing. The second thing is trust other people. Trust the process and trust other people. Trust your professors. Go to them, ask for help. They want to help. Your friends in nursing school. are going to be a different kind of friend than you've ever experienced because you go through things together that no one else understands. Lean on them. Lean on your family. Lean on your other friends outside of nursing school too because those are equally as valuable. So lean on other people and watch how you talk to yourself because those, I would say those are the first two steps because if you can do those things, you can breathe deep and color and do all the other things. But if you don't, start with those two things. think those are the most important. This sounds like that you're clearly establishing the foundational truths there and then on top of that not that in anyone out there who might have misheard her as far as like Poo-pooing the other things that is all though. They're all necessary but that Again, go back and listen to her first episode that'll clearly be established that there's there's lots of different things that can be done to help with anxiety But thank you for establishing those foundational truths So, before we close up in our traditional sense of the word there, as people any long time, quote unquote, long time listeners, this thing won't even be alive for a year when we're saying long time listeners. But anybody who's been listening knows we kind of like to wrap up in a traditional way. But before that, there any other, you've established some very significant challenges in the first episode. It would do me a disservice not to ask if you have had any other challenges be they personal, medical, whatever that's got, you know, through nursing school and that experience that have crept up and how have you dealt with those? Yeah, so I think the last thing I'll mention is I deal with chronic migraines. So that means when I am not on preventative medication, I can have anywhere from 12 to 15 headache days a month where I'm affected by a migraine. And let me tell you, you wanna listen to the word debilitating, that pretty much sums it up. Like it's pretty miserable, but thankfully I've gone through years of working through different medications and seeing neurologists and have found a medication that limits that number to about one a month and that's significantly better. And I've learned, it's taken me years to learn how to deal with them and manage that, but it is absolutely a challenge in nursing school because as you would know, clinical and migraine doesn't look pretty on me. And so it's a lot of... giving myself compassion and recognizing I can't control it. It is a medical condition. And really just giving myself the grace to rest. Don't try and take an exam the day after you have a migraine. That didn't end well for me either. I felt very, what I call migraine hung over and learned the quick way you just take an extension on the test and take it a couple days later. Yeah, and go home from clinical if your instructor It doesn't let you then you can say you have a medical condition that allows you to do so but most instructors are pretty good about it and understand that when you can't see and you can't think and you can't stand because you have vertigo you should probably go home. And I mean, and a lot of universities too, as I understand it, like there are you you are able to make these declarations ahead of time. I don't know exactly through who or how, but you definitely if you've got a chronic condition of any sort whatsoever, we as instructors, that is something that if if you end up in somebody's group, they are notified of that and we are to make provisions based on that. And it is not a defeat. It's not doesn't make you less of a capable nurse than anybody else, because I promise you. I've worked with nurses who have migraines and other conditions that just, you gotta deal with it. Life is not gonna wait for you. My parents kind of told me a lot growing up, like you're just gonna have to learn how to push through them. And what I've kind of come to understand is it's not actually safe for me to do that. For me or for the patients I'm taking care of, that's not a good idea. And so you're right, I have gone through the disability access at Gonzaga. I went through them my freshman year and I have all the accommodations in place. And going into nursing, I 100 % will advocate for myself. And if it requires a note from my doctor that says this is an established medical condition and she's not safe to practice when you're having a migraine. I'll do it because it's advocating for myself and it's advocating for my patients that when I have a migraine if I think I can't get through it and you know my medicine that I take I load up on ibuprofen like if that doesn't work and I need to go home I guarantee you they probably have someone in float pool that can come pick up like it's gonna be okay And that's a key part of the story right there too, is not taking advantage of that and therefore, you I'm not feeling well, I gotta go home. But it's you trying everything in your power to be at work and to do the things or to be at clinical. And when that doesn't work, you just say, okay, I'm gonna wave the white flag and it's not a, you know what I mean? Just take it, go, deal with it, and then come back and be ready to run. Yes. a medical condition. I can't do anything about it. I've reduced stress the amount that I can. Like, there's only so many things you can do. So advocate for yourself, do everything in your power, but at the end of the day, also give yourself compassion and grace. It's not as if you and I you know it's sort of speaking to you, but to listen or whoever's you know going my gosh, I identify with this. It's not as if you went to the doctor and said look I'm gonna be dealing with some challenging stuff in nursing school Is there a way is there some medication that can cause me to have migraines? So I can miss out on these experiences when I need to that's not the you know that's why give yourself grace your Some of us are born with genes that just express themselves in ways that are less than desirable. And if I could get rid of them, trust me, I would. Like, if you told me tomorrow I never had another day of migraine, I'd worship you for the rest of my life. perfect, perfect. Very quickly before the traditional closing questions, and you've kind of touched on this a little bit, but we'll combine the two. What are your plans after graduation? What areas of nursing do you hope to practice in? So, and to the second one first, I wanna do peds I will happily start in adults and get my feet wet there and learn as much as I can, but I do wanna end up in peds. And as of now, my plan was, when I came into nursing school, was kinda just see what happens, stay in Washington was the idea. Now I'm in a long-term relationship and very proud to say that my partner has gotten a job at Microsoft on the West Side. Yeah! we are gonna look to hopefully move over there and it would be great to practice pediatric over there. So that's the current plan. He's all set up. Now I need to figure my stuff out so that that plan aligns, but I'd really like to not do long distance. So the goal is to do over there. it works when it needs to work, for however long it needs to work, but it's not designed to be a long-term thing, that's for sure. Awesome, well thank you, thank you, thank you. So, before we close then, you had used three words to describe nursing school. What were they and why? So I chose, the first one was empowering because I do believe that nursing teaches you you are capable of so much more than you thought you were. You'll be pushed academically and emotionally and physically and you come out stronger and I think that's a very empowering thing. The second was intensive because it is demanding and requires a lot of discipline. You will study at hours you never thought you would and you will dedicate yourself to your patients and to your work, and it is a lot. And then the last one is revealing, because I think nursing school taught me so much about myself. It taught me who I want to be, what I value, the kind of nurse I want to be, and that the world isn't always sunshine and daisies. It's just revealed so much about me and the world. So I chose those as my three words. and very well chosen indeed especially again for those that have heard your entire story just outstanding with that let's assume somebody took my advice too well at the beginning of the first episode skipped all the way to right now they didn't listen to a dang thing you said well first of all you made a great mistake go back and listen but if you had one piece of advice and you've given so much but if you had one piece of advice one thing you would want nursing student to walk away from your episodes with and to cherish for the rest of their lives so long as they live, what would that one piece of advice be? No pressure! I've said it before, but it's still what I think I would say is remember that you have overcome all of your hardest days. There is beauty in that statement and you are strong enough to handle it. And if you keep telling yourself that you've overcome all of the things you've been faced with in life, you will come out of this one stronger. There it is. That's it in a nutshell. Right there. Nothing else for me to say. Samantha, thank you so much. Thank you so much for being so open, so honest. So I can't tell you how many people are going to be touched by that eventually, someday, when we are building our audience and that sort of thing. But no, just legitimately, I can't thank you enough for walking through that lifetime of a summer. It's a summer, a whole lifetime lived in four months. And here you are on the other side of it. I am honored to know you. I was honored to know you beforehand and even more so afterwards. So I eagerly anticipate your graduation and for all the amazing things that are going to come you and your significant others ways as you journey on this thing we call life together. Thank you for having me. It was wonderful. Awesome, thanks Samantha.