95 - Brittany Slegers Pt 2: That's Not Your Only Identity

Continue with nurse educator and Boise, Idaho native Honored Guest Brittany Slegers as she talks about why she loved Nancy Drew, her low point in her career, the ups and downs that landed her in her current role, being nervous for her first lecture, her stressful NCLEX experience, her passion for students knowing they are more than a nurse, and more!

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Transcript

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And here we are making the jump to the part two of Brittany's second, what? Part two of Brittany's second episode. What does that even mean? We're in part one of Brittany's second episode. All right, let's move along. Brittany's second episode, period. So before we continue your career progression story, I feel like I get these Nancy Drew vibes off you and I'm not sure why. Okay, actually she led me on that one, but what? my gosh, I loved Nancy Drew when I was a kid. I read all the books. Like I would scare myself most of the time I'd read them into the night and then I couldn't sleep because I was too afraid. But I loved them. And then I got these Nancy Drew computer games, not video games. They were computer games. And actually I still have them. My mom found them when she moved and she gave them to me and I was like, I don't know what to do with this. like like I want to know more about things, like how they tick. I get that from my grandmother, my mom's mom. She was super, super investigative, I guess you could say. I can remember she came to visit us in Nampa and we had this horrible factory there. It's called the Sugar Beet Factory. and it smells terrible. Probably, yes, yes. And I would say, I mean, if you're familiar with the Lewiston area, I would say that the paper factory there is way worse, but the sugar beet factory is very comparable. But she always used to be like, I wonder how that place works. I wonder if they give field trips. Like we should go check it out and like just see how things go. And I was always like, what the heck are you talking about? But, but I have. has just been more investigative with different things. So I've often thought about, you know, not being a nurse anymore and like going to see how other people do things, other jobs. But I won't do that. I won't do that. worked way too hard on my degrees. So but yeah, I just have always wanted to know more about things, how they work. So guess I like to channel Nancy Drew. I don't want to make you feel old, but I'm too young. I'm too young to know who Nancy Drew is. Who is this character? my gosh. my gosh. She was a sleuth. She was a teenage sleuth. Her dad was like a detective or something. And so she and her friends would like go investigate like mysteries. So I love them. They are and they're very old school written too. So it's very, sometimes it's like, my gosh, how did it, what? What am I reading? So yeah. I love it. Well, and I just, I had to bring that out because she, you we have our little forums and all the things and there was, you know, I feel like I could relate to Nancy Drew. It's one of the question prompts I have on there. And so it didn't come up naturally. And I'm like, well, this is a perfect time to bring that up in the second episode. Let's just open up that way. Because it does. It actually, when I read that, Brittany, of you, and it's not like I know you super well, right? And we'll get to, you know, where we overlapped. But in that regards, It's still fit, like I'm like, this fits the clinical picture 100%. Like, Nancy Drew, I get it. I love it. So let us pick up your story where you left off with that and that you were talking about working at a transfer center, Admit Transfer Center. And so for the benefit of those that don't know what that is, can you describe what that job entailed specifically? What were your duties as a nurse in that role? And then remind us again. Was this a high point or a low point and why? Yes. So the Transfer Center in a hospital, which I did not know existed either before I got a job there, but it makes sense that it exists. It's basically, I sat there and I answered phone calls from doctors at area hospitals that were trying to get patients admitted to our hospital, or I connected doctors within our hospital to other hospitals for transfers. One example is like we don't have a major Children's Department at this hospital here. So most children that come into the emergency room have to be transferred to Sacred Heart and Spokane. So we would call Connect Doctors so they could give report. We'd arrange like ambulances, even air ambulances, know, life flight. And then we would manage the bed board. my gosh, the bed board. If you like puzzles, it was just like one giant screen of every single bed in the hospital. And it would show if it was occupied or not, if it needed cleaned or not. Like you would constantly be thinking about like, okay, this patient is done with ICU, needs to transfer to a step down, needs to transfer to a med surge floor. Like, this person's crumping on med surge and they need to go to ICU. And you're trying to constantly figure out like where to put people. And that is the transfer center. And no, it was a low point in my career. Mmm. Mmm. don't mean to speak badly of it, but it was not for me. It is for some people, it was not for me. So I was, yeah, it was too hard on me figuring out or looking at it and being like, nope, we can't take any more sick people. can't help them. That's how I viewed it. It was just so sad. I hated it. So. some out there that are maybe more inclined to like to solve the puzzle. You know what I mean? find that maybe you're like, I'll never forget the show Scrubs. Did you ever watch Scrubs? So, Scrubs is about a bunch of resident doctors learning how to be doctors and all the things. And it got me through nursing school. And one of the characters name is Doug. I know, know, Doug is so memorable because it's Doug and anyone who's seen Scrubs, you know who Doug is. Yes! is this doc who's like, his patients keep dying or he just keeps making these mistakes. And then he's like, he finally finds his place in the world in medical, you whatever. And he's like, he's doing in the morgue. He's doing autopsies and stuff like that. So, you know, if you're out there, one of these nursing students, one of those nurses that are like, man, I just like, I love the idea of being a nurse and the security and helping people, but I don't want to be the one talking to them. Mm-hmm. Yep, exactly. Awesome, so you love that job so much that you're still doing it today, right? No, I actually saw at my year mark, I went and interviewed at outpatient surgery because I had done that in Boise and that was my favorite and I was like, cool. I was kind of promised the moon. They were like, sure, you can work whatever schedule you want, how often or how little you want, like all this stuff. And I was like, wow, this is amazing. Yes, I want this job. So I start there and my first week that I was there, the manager that had hired me was fired. Then I was like, okay. And then a supervisor was leaving and all these other people were leaving. And I came home and I told my husband, was like, I feel like I might've just made a huge mistake. But we'll see how this goes. So I do my orientation for four weeks. And sure enough, my first schedule comes out with me not on orientation. And I did not get the early morning shifts that I wanted. And I was scheduled for three days a week and I had three little kids and no childcare. And I was like, wait a minute. Like I thought I could work the first shift and be off by two to go pick up my kids. And they were like, no, you can't. And I was like, my husband cannot do school drop-off and pick up three days a week. Like he can't do that. And they were like, well, sorry. and I asked to go down to PRN and they were like, no, we can't let you do that until maybe May and we'll have like a reflection period of like, if you're ready for that. And I was like, okay, no, I'm sorry, I have to quit. And I was so upset and I felt so like disposable to them. like it just, cause they were like, okay, like, sorry to hear that. And I was like, my gosh, like I just, cried and I cried and I... went through a little bit of a crisis, I feel like, but, you know, I found a really good Bible study that helped kind of pull me out of it. And it made me realize that my worth was not in being a bedside nurse. so I decided I had actually, I had actually gotten into Gonzaga's nurse practitioner program. Gosh, I forgot what year that was now. no, how could I forget? I got in in March of 2020. I found out I got in and I was like, for some reason. This is going to be so great. My kids will be in school and I can be doing this nurse practitioner program. And then I think the day that they called to let me know I got in, I had just found out my kid's school got shut down and I was like, this isn't, this isn't going to be good. so was in the nurse practitioner program for a bit before I was like, you know what? I don't think this is for me either. So I switched to a nursing leadership in healthcare just to finish out my master's degree. And I decided when I left that job at that local hospital that I was just going to focus on finishing my degree. And I did that. And right after I graduated, there was a job available at Gonzaga where I had gotten my master's degree. So I applied for it and interviewed and I got it. And now I work at Gonzaga in the nursing department. But not how you think. Yeah, so anyone that is from Gonzaga listening to this, we all know the value that Brittany brings to the program. And like she just said, it's not as you think. So what does that mean? I mean, we kind of established you're not an educator in a way, or not really. I mean, do you do lectures? You don't do anything like that. Well, I'm getting there I'm getting there. Yeah Yeah, so I am I am the BSN clinical placement manager It technically did not need a nursing degree But it helps to have it and understand how clinicals work and the hospital works and stuff like that but yeah, I I got hired into that role. Oh gosh, what a year and a half ago and I actually, I'm so nervous to say this out loud, but I have my first lecture on, in like the first week of March. One of our professors has been so kind and she's going to let me come do her neuro section in her med search class. And I'm so excited. I know. I know. Right. I was like, okay, well, I think I can do this still. I'll refresh a little bit, but I'm yeah. so excited. It's funny because whenever I tell people, yeah, I work at Gonzaga in the nursing program, they're instantly like, are you an instructor? Are you a professor? And I'm like, well, no. And they're like, that's why I asked what I did. Honestly, I had no idea about the whole lecture thing, so I'm so freaking excited for you. I'm like, how do I, can I just audit that class? that how that works? Do I just show up and sit in the back? Because I would love to hear that. gonna take up a panel all that day, so I'm not nervous as all get out. No, it is not. It is calm the heck down, Brittany. That's what it is. Indirectly, indirectly performance enhancing in a way. a way, it's performance reducing prevention really is what that is. No, I I love that. And I ask that semi-sarcastically because of the role that you have at Gonzaga. Because again, it's those presuppositions that we all have, right? you work at the hospital, so you must take care of patients. you work at the university, you must teach students. And so if you nursing students and anybody else who's listening, gets anything from her episodes. At minimum, it's this. Like, here are these jobs that this amazing woman has had in her life and not, I'm gonna go on a limb here, Brittany, and say before we dive into more of what you do, but you did not anticipate this trajectory the way it has appeared. Would you like to expound on that idea at all? my gosh. Yeah, you I mean, you know you graduate from nursing school and you take that freaking test. my gosh. We're in a Facebook group for our class our graduating class at BSU and everybody's posting in there like okay. Here's my date of when I'm taking my tests and then they'd come back and be like, my gosh. and they got 50 questions. Like it was so great, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Okay. And I took mine. So I graduated in December and I took mine NCLEX like the first week of February. So I had all of January to study and was, and freak out and freak out. But so I get into this freaking test area and I'm so nervous and I start on my tests and I hit like the 50 questions, right? And I like click the submit button and it goes to 51. And I was like, oh no, okay, maybe it'll shut off at 75. So I get 75. Nope, didn't shut. I got every single question that they asked on the NCLEX. It took me all three hours. I left that place. Oh my gosh, I cried and I cried. I couldn't even get out of bed. I was like, this is, what do I do? I failed that stupid test. I don't want to retake that. But so anyway. That was a sidebar, but you get you get out of nursing school and you take this test and you pass it and you get your first job. And you're like, all right, like this is what I do now. I work in the hospital now and you know, I had nurses on the neuro floor. I don't know how they did it, but they were there for like 20, 30 years. And I was like, okay, like this is me in the future. Like I'm like, you know, in my sixties, like in the scrubbies, like taking care of patients, like, okay, like, yep, that's what I do. Like that's it. So this is my trajectory. This is what I do. So when I got, you know, when I had to quit that job in Boise that I loved so much and I was just so devastated, I was like, cause I saw myself there forever. I was like, this is a great job. You know, it's wham bam. They come in, you do their paperwork. You start their IV, you ship them off to surgery. Sometimes you get them back and then you post-op them and you send them home. Like, you know, it was just such a great job. loved it. I still got to see the people, but I didn't have to deal with all the things as an inpatient person. And I just, loved it. So when I quit that, I very quickly saw my future just like crumble into like, I don't know. So then I, you know, I take this job in the transfer center, just thinking it'll be like a foot in the door. And it kind of was, I got, it segwayed me into outpatient surgery again, but then that didn't pan out. And I was like, my goodness. So then I did schooling and everything like that. And I just, very quickly was like, I don't think I could ever see myself going back to bedside again. And it was really, it was really hard for me because I was like, I really enjoyed taking care of people. really did. And like seeing like the victories that I saw on neuro, especially when people would come back from these. injuries and they'd go to rehab for a while and then they'd come back to our floor and they'd be restored and I was like, wow, like, that's such an amazing feeling to know that I took part in your care and like helped you get better. And I loved that. And then to know that I like just really didn't feel that passion in me anymore to like be a bedside nurse, it was hard. And I did not. If you would have told me five years ago, even two years ago that I would be an education for a nursing career, I would have been like, no, no, I don't want to, I don't want to do that. Um, I don't feel a lot of the time I deal with imposter syndrome and I'm like, I don't feel like I'm smart enough to be here. Um, but then I very quickly was like, you know, I see, I see a lot of value in being an education for nursing because. you know, these people are gonna these nursing students, they're gonna take care of me someday. And I want to make sure that you know, they're good people and that they're learning what they need to learn and that they're not only like, you know, learning textbook stuff, but they're learning how to actually like, care for people. And I just I see so much value in it. And you know, a lot of people will tell you like, can't be an education for the money. And that's very true. But it's just it's so It's so cool to get to know some of these students and I don't interact with them a ton other than, you know, trying to swap their schedule to make it work with their rowing team and, you know, and get them to their dad's wedding and like, you know, I try and work with them as much as I can Yeah. So that's why I try and work with these students so much because I want them to understand that, you know, they're more than just a nurse. They're more than a nursing student. They're a person who has a whole nother life. They've got family members, they've got friends, they got pets, they've got sports, they have all these things. And those are so important because you're not, you're not, you know, only a nurse. That's not only your identity. You have other things going on. So yeah, I just try and work with them as best I can. and make them a good, well-rounded person. Because if they think that nursing school and nursing only consumes them, it's going to lead to major burnout. So I want to try and work with them as much as possible and get them to these special events that they have. Well, and that's your empathetic heart. You know what mean? Like that's that empathy that you see there for your students. And you're like, I love that you use the word identity because that's the direction I wanted to go with that is like so many times we talk about how our identity gets caught up in what we do, not who we are. And there's a huge, huge distinction. My name is Eric. I'm a nurse. I'm a male nurse. I'm a male nurse in postpartum. Add whatever you want to add. That's not my identity. I'm different from that. And I love because it ties right back into what you were talking about earlier in that one position that you tried. You know what mean? They're like, well, OK, that's not going to work for you. Sorry. And so that's where like these nurses who, myself included at a point where you're burnout and you're doing what you need to do, that's where they come up with this and you'll hear it, we're just cogs in the machine. We're replaceable parts and you see those memes not just about nursing, but in the professional world, in your job. You're just a number in an organization, a business can just plug and play and replace you. When I, you when you die, someone else is going to be doing your job. When you leave your job, someone else is going to be doing your job. Yes, the other side of that is though, someone else needs to be doing that job. So yes, to an extent, we demonize being replaceable, yet we are very replaceable, which is why it's important not to tie up your identity in what you do, because you have to be replaceable. Yes, the But what is irreplaceable about you is not what you do. What's irreplaceable about you is you, your heart, your person. Now I'm gonna get this for my... Because that is who you are. And this is why I tell my students, right? Like character, that's what matters. Who you are, how you treat people, how you care for people. That is your identity. That is how people will remember you. Yeah, I'm Eric, the postpartum nurse. But I'm hoping that when I see people down the road again and again and again and again, that they remember me as Eric the caring person, not the nurse, the caring person. Or they'll remember me as Eric the a-hole. They'll remember me as Eric the, you know what I mean? That is, your character will define who you are. That is your identity. That is where we're going with that, Brittany. my gosh, I'm so glad you brought that up. yes. And hey, maybe that one event that I can't make it work for you and I can't switch your schedule for maybe you learned something that day at clinical that was just irreplaceable for your career. Like you needed it and you needed to be there at that time. I'm a firm believer in like that you're at the right place at the right time always like God has you where he needs you to learn what you need to learn. So yeah, I'm just I know that everything happens for a reason. So The way I love to phrase that, Brittany, is I tell people like the times that you least want to do something, like the shift I am dreading. And it doesn't have to be because I know what's coming up. It's just legit because last night sucked, yesterday sucked. I had a difficult conversation with my family or with my wife or whatever. I don't know, who knows what circum... Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. But those shifts, those times you don't want to go to church, you don't want to go to work. You don't want to go to that social function, whatever it is. And trust me, those times will happen people. If it has to happen for you, it will happen. Those are the moments where when you're done with it, you're like, I see why I needed to be there today. this wasn't about me. that's so strange. had to, you know, whatever. That's how that manifests itself so many times. I love that. Yes. Thank you, Bretney. Thank you for sharing all that. Is there anything else before we move on to the other things that we have here for you to talk about that you wanted to chat about? Anything else you want to talk about as far as that career progression and not being what you thought it would I guess I would just say like, I've learned like since it, since my career has not ended up the way that I thought it would end up, things are not always so black and white and you can't tell the future and you don't know what's gonna happen. So you've got to allow some flexibility, which is I think hard for nurses to do, cause we're very type A. We'd like to have a master plan, but I mean, just knowing that. My career still may not be look like what I want it to look like. Maybe it's getting to where it needs to look like, but allowing for that flexibility, I think is really crucial. And like you said, tying it back to that, like there's, there's a purpose for what I'm doing right now. And it might be that that one student really needed somebody who was more flexible to grant them that one day off that they needed to go to something. You what I mean? And then that one event that they were able to attend will have been so significant in their timeline of their life. I just, there's purpose behind it, even though we don't really understand why things take a detour and why things end up the way they do. So. Yeah, and or why things don't work the way we think they should work for us in our lives, right? Students, that's the other thing. Extend grace when it doesn't work the way you think it should work. Because we have to do the same thing. We all have to do the same thing. And one other thought before we leave that subject. You you talked about, and if you haven't listened to episode one, jump back and listen to Brittany's first episode. talking about how... you getting into nursing and getting into the nursing program and all those things was very, I think you almost used the word providential or something very similar where it was very close to, you know what mean? But now then you take that moment where you're like, this is meant to be, right? This is exactly where God wants me. He has allowed me to do this. I am ready for the paved way ahead. And then you have this career that's filled with hiccups and stops and unforeseen things. Did you have moments during that time? Have you always been just this, you know, what will be will be and this is the way it was supposed to be. In those times where you were not that way, because I'm pretty darn sure you you've experienced it at least once. How do you get through those moments? man, let me just say like my husband is a saint. He puts up with so much of my crap and just listens to me like day in and day out, just vent sometimes. And so my friends too are just so wonderful and they totally don't understand. Cause I only have one friend, my best friend from college, she's a nurse as well, but she still works in the hospital in Austin, Texas. But like just it's. I have a good support system that listens well, but I mean, I am a major person of faith, not religious. I am a major person of faith. And I could not have gotten through or continue to get through what I get through without my relationship with God. just, carries me through. He is my constant in just knowing that he has always provided for me. And I know he always will, even when I don't see it. There's a song that it says, even when I don't see it, you're working. And I mean, that song goes through my mind multiple times a day when things aren't working out like I think they're going to, or like when I'm all set and I feel like so confident and then something happens that just shakes me and I'm like, gosh, like what? Again, you know, it's just my, my faith and God gets me through what I've gotten through and will continue to get me through what I, what I go through. Yeah. said. I mean and it's it's that reminder where you we get so caught up in our problems, we get so caught up in whatever the issue is in that moment that we are so focused downward. We're looking down at the ground. We're looking down at our circumstances that sort of thing. And even if for those that aren't even faith-based, you know what I mean? This is not, we're not, I'm not trying to convert you or anything like that. Go outside in those moments when you get a chance Or if you're inside, it's a work moment. You've got to get to a window, whatever that looks like for you. Take a one minute, take five minutes, go outside, look up. I don't care if you're in Washington and it's cloudy and depressing, or you're down south and it's sunny all the time and all that, but you go outside and you look up and look outside, look around you, because that gets you out of that moment, that thing that is all consuming and you go, my gosh, there is a much bigger world out here. There are other people dealing with these problems that are in problems way worse than mine. You know what mean? And it's just get that perspective. And you need that perspective sometimes to get through the day to day. All right. Well, I hate to end our time together, But we're gonna end it. And ending it. So by ending it, you had three words that you chose to describe nursing school and you did not share what those were, thankfully. And what were those incredibly fascinating three words and why did you pick them? Blood, sweat and tears. So blood because you see it, not necessarily that it's coming out of you. Sweat because you put on those MRSA gowns and they're stinking hot and those masks, man, like all of the sweat all over your face, all that. And then tears because nursing school is tough. and you're gonna cry. You're gonna cry when you fail a test. You'll cry when your first patient dies. I'm still not over my first patient dying in 2012. And you'll cry when you think that you failed the NCLEX, much like my story where I couldn't even get out of bed. It was so devastating. But sometimes the blood that you see means that you got the IV started. Sometimes the sweat will be from holding the legs of a mama who just brought a new life into the world. And sometimes those tears will be tears of joy because you passed the class, you were able to help a patient learn to eat again, or you pass the NCLEX and that is coming from experience. So, yeah. Blood, sweat, and tears. Thank you, Brittany. Thank you, thank you. I want to end it there because that's so eloquent. But what is your one piece of advice? If you had one piece of advice, one thing you want someone to take away after listening to your episodes, what would that be? Yeah, I think for a nursing student, I would say enjoy every moment that you're given, the good and the bad, knowing that it's molding you into the nurse that you're gonna be. You're gonna be so grateful for all the experiences someday, especially when they come full circle and you see those moments prepared you for your current moment. And then for any nurses out there that... maybe there's gotta be someone out there that feels like me that really sees like their nursing trajectory and they're like, man, this did not go how I wanted it to or how I thought it was gonna go. Just, I hope that you're encouraged knowing that there's other people out there, but that really there's a huge plan for your life and you may not see it, but things are in the works. So just be patient. Ah, so amazing, Brittany. Thank you so much. Thank you for giving your time today. I'm gonna let you get back to your stress-free life. For those of you... No, in fact, literally, she can't go anywhere. Her husband's off getting her a battery. So that's how her morning started. Let that cat out of the bag. No, I do hope things straighten out for you here sooner than later, and you have a great rest of your day, Brittany. Thank you so much.