96 - Yasmeen Lutchendorf: Friends or Not, Let's Go Save a Life

Join nurse and Spokane, Washington native Honored Guest Yasmeen (Yaz) Lutchendorf as she discusses when she knew she was going to be a nurse, her career progression (including going from postpartum to PICU), the call of the code alarm, getting married during nursing school, the challenging story she hasn’t shared with many people, the importance of not giving up, drinking from a fire hose, and more!

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Transcript

0:01

Hello everybody! So, welcome to this episode of the Feeding Our Young podcast. I am with someone who practically doesn't need an introduction. Just kidding. You obviously don't know who she is, but there she may have some connections to some prior honored guests that you have heard up to this point, and we'll establish that connection later. But in the meantime, if I can introduce the one, the only, the amazing Yaz, Yaz, how the heck are you today? I'm so good, thanks for having me. my gosh, thank you for just taking time out of your day to impart some wisdom. with that, let's start with our traditional opening questions. Yaz. So first of all, introduce yourself to everybody and let us know, uh, are you a nursing student? Are you a nurse? And if so, what degrees do you hold? So my name Yasmeen Yaz to most people. I have been a nurse for almost 13 years. I have a bachelor's, so I did my associates and then it took some years. I started working, had some kids, started, stopped, was like, I'm gonna finish, I'm gonna finally do this and eventually finally got my BSM online. So I have my bachelor's. That is awesome. And so where is home for you? Um, so I was born in Spokane. I've lived here most of my life. We lived in New Hampshire for about five years when I was little. But other than that, I've lived here, worked here my whole life. So when you were little, probably no memories from the great New Hampshire area. I remember it actually. I have family back there. So we lived there when I was, I don't remember, like two to, what is that, two to seven? I don't know. And then went back every summer to visit. So it felt like I lived there longer, but yeah, then many years. That's awesome. It's just fascinating that here we have a true to life Spokanite and five years over on the East Coast. Just this little blip. And back again. Well, I mean, the state itself is very small, isn't it? Isn't that one of the smaller states? Yeah, it's one of our smaller states. Oh, I love the East Coast. I can't wait to see it more someday when I grow up. is very beautiful. You should go in the fall. Okay, that's it. Done deal. New Hampshire in the fall. So, our traditional questions. What three words would you use to describe nursing school? We'll talk about them at the end. That gives somebody a reason to tune in here after a little while. Not that you're not going to be the reason to tune in. But what are the three words you have chosen to describe nursing school? man, that was a really hard question. There's a lot of words I could think of. And some of them might make the podcast explicit, right? Like... Mm-hmm, but I think everyone listening to this podcast can relate. Um I'm gonna say humbling Overwhelming And I guess just worth it. We'll just leave it at that. It's not one word, but we're just gonna say worth it. We'll expand on that later. Worth it. It's worth it. No space in between, everybody. Humbling, overwhelming, worth it. I love it. Now the harder question of the two. What are three of your favorite songs in life right now? This is a hard question because anyone who knows me, like I have a reputation for always having music on, like at work, at night, at work night shift. I always have Spotify going and it's really more like, what is your mood? Is it a Taylor Swift night, more country or is it 5 a.m. like 90s throwbacks? It's hard to say. Any, any, you ever have like a dumpster fire hardcore rap night? Yes, that too. I mean, I work in Pied, so I have to be kind of careful. There's parents that come around, but oh yeah, love some good rap throwbacks. I guess there's that. It reminds me, so you know, for those that don't know, when you are a nurse, you you think, they just go to the hospital and take care of whoever they take care of. You know, in my case, it's postpartum, moms, babies. Yaz's case, taking care of kids. We'll talk about that in a bit here. But when you don't have enough patients, then you float and you float to other areas of the hospital, depending on where you work and all the things and what you... So one time I went floating, Yaz... And I go sit with this and you can be a sitter. And what a sitter's job is often to do is to keep a person safe. Maybe they have suicidal ideation. Maybe they are unable to self-rescue if they have like a CPAP or a BiPAP machine. And so we are there just to make sure they're all right and or helping someone you know detox. I don't know. There's the reasons are many. But you go and you sit and that can make for a long 12 hours for multiple reasons. And one time I went and I go up on the respiratory floor. I'm like, okay, all right, well, whatever. And I sat for this lovely gal overnight. And they said, before I go in, they said, by the way, she has Tupac playing and don't turn it off. Do not turn it off. Whatever you do, she will become supremely agitated if Tupac is not playing on that YouTube player in the background. So I did 12 hours, Yaz. I sat and listened to Tupac. I was like, I came out of that. I'm like, I, this is the most gangster I've ever felt in my life. It was awesome. Well, I mean, yes, except it was a YouTube channel that had literally, it might've been two hours, but I'm pretty sure it was closer to an hour, hour and a half of the same songs on loop. And I just, it was like, by the end of shift, going, I need to, I need to go now. Is someone coming? Anyone, please? in Tupac lyrics is what you're saying. yes, very proficient. The most proficient I've been in any sort of lyrics of those sort in my life. Oh my gosh, I miss it. So, Yaz and I, so we worked together on Postpartum. I'll just throw that cat out of the bag right now, along with previous honored guests such as like Nikki and Sherry. And we'll talk about that whole squad because that, essentially I feel like that was the group that I came into. So I cut my postpartum teeth, for lack of a better term, with you guys. And it's still one of my highlights of my entire working career, let alone my nursing career. So I just love, I miss like being able to share these sorts of stories, because we would, you know, oftentimes share running stories that may or may not have involved pooping, things of that nature. And so it's just, it's the best kind. We're nurses. That's what we do, right? If you don't love poop humor, you're in the wrong place. Bingo! All right, so on that note, one last thing before we start unpacking your story, Yaz and that is this relatively newer thing that I do. Although by the time people listen to your episode, they're gonna be like, Eric, it's not relatively new anymore. This is like the fifth or sixth person you're doing this with. It's the unpatented, as of yet, feeding our young official personality test, okay? And yes, so you're gonna answer. I'm gonna ask you, and I did prep for everybody. by saying that I would ask her five questions. You have not seen these questions, correct? And you're going to answer them on the fly. You can give rationale or not, that's up to you. And at the end of those five questions, we will all know exactly the type of person you are. All right? No pressure. Here we go. All right, question number one. You, Yaz, have a time machine. Are you gonna go back in time or in the future? Ooh, I'm going back. Going back, is George Michael Wham's Last Christmas an actual Christmas song? Ooh. Yes? I feel like that was a trick question. I don't know. no, it's, there's a debate, there's a debate in circles. You're like, let me get to the second verse and I'll tell you, hold on. She's, that's the most decisive yes I think I've gotten with a big old question. Yes? Alright, would you rather have the ability to fly or breathe underwater? Ooh, fly. Okay, and are you team pie or team cake? Mmm... Pie. Makes sense, yeah, I would have guessed that about you. I'm just kidding, I have no idea. And last question. Would you rather instantly learn a new language or an instrument? New language. Bingo. That's it. The results are in. You're awesome. Okay, so. No, I'm like, it's kind of funny. like, I literally have no response to what people say. It's just a fun little thing. Sort of like an icebreaker, really, right? Kind of see where people fall. You know, I don't know that there is one. That's the whole point. But there's a distinct group of people that are like, well, yeah, it's a Christmas song they played at Christmas. And there's a second group of people that are like, no, he talks about heartbreak, he talks about whatever this relationship is and blah, blah, blah, blah. There's nothing Christmassy about it. There's no like Christmas spirit. And they're like, there are people who are passionately in one camp or the other. And then there's the third group. Yeah, and the third group is like, who cares? It's a song. It's like, is Die Hard a Christmas movie or not? My husband will swear yes. Your husband would be correct. There it is everybody. There's my official position on whether Die Hard is a... I think the... Was it Bruce Willis or the director? Someone had come out semi-fairly recently and saying that like, no, this is not a Christmas movie or they, I don't know, they definitively weighed in on the subject, but my gosh, too much, too much. All right, Yaz, well, let's, if it's all right with you, let's get to know you a little bit better. Um, tell us about your family. Whatever you want to share. I am married. I have two little boys. They are six and eight. They keep me on my toes. They are so busy. That's an understatement. Anyone who has some boys close in age can probably relate. It's like every stage is just a little bit wilder. It's rowdy and fighting and you know, it's good times. So yeah. I love it. Any furry children? yeah, we have a 12, almost 13 year old, Weimaraner and boy and then we were really smart and we took in a second this fall and she is 10 months old, wreaking absolute havoc all over our lives right now. So currently you have to go to work without any footwear. You don't have any furniture, right? That's all gone now. gosh, it's funny that you say that actually. So I got her from a coworker who will probably hear this podcast and I can just see her her head and her hands in her head right now. Her head in her hands, there we go. Yeah, I won't say she's probably gonna laugh though. She, okay, this is a funny story. She got this puppy. Her kids are grown and married and she's an empty nester and her husband, her and her husband saw these puppies outside of Costco and we're like, let's get a puppy. And I don't know that they really knew what a wiper inners like. I've never seen them just at Costco. Usually it's like a process to find them. We had to go nine hours to get Hank from Montana. And so she took in this puppy and a few months in was like, no way. They're a very high energy breed. They need a lot of exercise. They're, they call them Velcro dogs for a reason. They're just, they're insane. Our son, he didn't settle till he was like six. And so she told me she got a puppy and I was like, my goodness, I want to see it. We love Weimaraners And then shortly after she was like, we might have to rehome her. My husband cannot, we can't do this. This is way too much. I was like, well, if you have to rehome her, reach out to me. And I don't think she thought I was serious. And then I saw on her daughter's, she owns a kennel, site that they were rehoming this wine runner. And my husband and I both were like, we are not in a place to get a puppy, but also our dog is 12, almost 13, and really slowing down. And our kids are attached to him, and we're kind of like, we're going to... We know we don't have a lot of time left with him. And so being the idiots that we are, we were like, well, let's meet her. Let's see what happens. Well, she brought her over and she stayed. And it has become the running joke ever since. If you've seen Marley & Me we call her our clearance puppy. We love her and she's so cute but two days before Christmas I came home from work and she did in fact eat my couch. I opened the door to find just pieces of the couch all over the living room. She is eating shoes, many remotes, chewed on the wall. She is just a really aggressive like I want to be in your space and if you're gonna leave me alone. I'm gonna occupy my time. Yup. So, yeah, that's been fun. So you've got a, I guess a very poor summation would be you have a very active household. Does she keep the boys, like does she keep them occupied at least sometimes? My youngest enjoys her, my oldest not at all. Like we weren't sure if we were gonna be able to keep her. He wouldn't even come downstairs. He's just really annoyed by her really in your face energy. Yeah, like, thank you, no thank you, that's alright. my- I'm sure in a couple years it'll be great, but for now it's been a lot. Don't get a puppy when your kids are little. No, I mean, there are some that would say don't get a puppy at all. It is literally like raising a toddler. And you skip infant hood. You skip all that. You just go jump straight to toddlerhood. And anyone who's had a toddler knows that that's a bit of work. So Mm-hmm. So what I'd love to do is we're gonna work our way backwards with Yaz, since you know, the time machine, we're gonna go back in time. So let's start working our way with the most recent past and that is your career progression. So as I already established, I met you in postpartum and was so very grateful to have had that opportunity to meet so many amazing people. Take me to before then, let's not get into nursing school just yet, but you've got your nursing degree. Mm-hmm. What did you, how, where did you start first start practicing? How did you figure out that's what you wanted to do and take us through to today? Well, I kind of knew I wanted to be a nurse since I was younger. I remember even in high school, I just always was very set, like, that's what I'm going to do. When I was a junior and senior, they had this program called Career Focus where you could take an elective and you went to Rockwood Clinic and worked with a doctor. And so I just like roomed patients and did vitals and kind of got my feet wet that way. And then knew I wanted to be a nurse, always. And so when I grew up and actually while I was doing my prereqs, my grandma, who I was very close to, she was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm and she had to have bypass surgery. So I went, you know, with her through that whole process and then she unfortunately passed away a week before her repair of her aneurysm. And it was like really, really devastating, like the most traumatic time. But that really made me want to further my career and really sparked an interest in cardiac. And so after nursing school, I really wanted to work on the cardiac floor. It was kind of my ultimate goal. And at that time, ironically, with the way things are right now, most people won't believe us, but it was very hard to get a job. Didn't matter if you had a bachelor's, if you had your ADN, like they just were not. hiring like they are now. I did my practicum in the ER at Holy Family and I loved it and was like, I would love to work in the ER, but like you could not pick a specialty. It didn't matter if you had a good letter of recommendation. It was very hard. I applied for over a hundred jobs at the hospital and did not get hired. So I took my first job at St. Luke's rehab and honestly, that was a great first job. I had never worked in healthcare before, I was never a NAC. So it was very humbling because over there you would take up to seven patients in a team with a nursing assistant. And it was intimidating because a lot of those nursing assistants had been there for 20 years. And so you really had to humble yourself and learn from them. But that's where I learned how to turn patients, how to do bed baths, how to transfer because we took care of... spinal cord patients, strokes, traumatic brain injuries, a few PEDs, not a ton. But it was a great place to start and lots of skills because we would have to do straight casts every few hours. We would do dressing changes or so surgeries would come there after to recover feeding tubes with the stroke patients and then like paralysis on one side or the other. So it was good. It was good experience. And then I finally was able to get in at the hospital. I think it was about six, months later and I got a job on the cardiac floor. So I worked cardiac transplant for five and a half years and it was so much fun. I learned a ton and took care of lot of mechanical hearts, transplant patients, some that were just near and dear to my heart. Some would be up there for eight months waiting for a heart. We really got to know them and their families. mechanical hearts would come and go and so you'd get to see them over the years and getting to be there with patients when they got the news that they were gonna get a heart and then recovering them after was so rewarding. We also did like heart attacks and open heart surgeries and ablations, all that kind of stuff too. But it was great. And then I kind of got to a point like healthcare, I mean, you've been a nurse a long time, know, things change all the time and Just the program changed and the types of patients we had kind of changed and I just felt like my passion for that population kind of dwindled. And I found myself at a point where I recognized I wasn't my best self and I just like kind of dreaded coming to work. It wasn't what filled my cup anymore. And so I was also pregnant with my second kiddo and just like needing a change. So I took a job in postpartum. which was a huge shift and most people did not understand it. I... And they're like, wait a second, this is like way in left field, like way out of left field, what are you doing? I had actually always wanted to go ICU and I took a position on the cardiac ICU and then found out I was pregnant with my first and decided not to. So I stayed on six for a few more years. But when I went to postpartum, I was like, you know, maybe that's just not for me. This is the place I am in my life. I have young kids and I love educating. And so I went to postpartum. And I, like you, have very fond memories of that time. And I will say, I think it was like this perfect little time capsule because I was there the end of 2018 through 2021. So all of COVID, the very beginning of it. And at a time where a lot of people were stuck at home, my husband's a teacher, so he was home and my kids were home and my kids were really little, like one in three. And It was so hard to not have any social interaction, but that crew is truly what carried most of us through. We worked with the best people and fortunately we're kind of sheltered from all the things that were going on outside the postpartum L &D world. And we just had such great teamwork and incredible coworkers and so many laughs and so much fun. And it was awesome to be in a part of the hospital where the majority of what was going on was happy. And, you know, I loved educating, helping new moms, breastfeed, swaddle, figure out how to just navigate that. I thought it was a really rewarding, fulfilling couple of years. But I did also die a little bit every time I heard the code button and I knew I'd never be a part of it anymore. See, now I have to point out that when you hear the code, you're dying for a different reason than some of the rest of us are. Like, sorry, no pun intended. That was not tasteless. my gosh. no, it's just, you know, like, and you and I would have those conversations. I remember Yaz would very much, and I'm like, so you're talking about going where and why? Like, I'm getting away from that and you're going towards it. It's so confusing. Yes! So anyway, I'm sorry. I interrupted you. going. Yeah, no, just, I like had always enjoyed that and I, as much as I enjoyed where I was and who I worked with, I knew that I was way too young in my career for that to be it when I did have that adrenaline junkie in me. And I think I just needed a little bit more challenge and a little bit more, like I had really worked on my critical thinking skills and all those things on six and then I just felt like it was just a very different mind shift, like mindset shift. The things that were important and that I did take pride in obviously as a nurse on postpartum, just didn't, it wasn't something I felt like I could do long-term. So, and we were at a point where we didn't have a ton of patients and we were floating a lot. And so you would end up in the ED or you would end up wherever and I happened to float to pick you. And I had some former coworkers there, some people I knew, and just kind of seeing the setup and the teamwork and what they got to do back there. I was like, I think this might be where I need to go. And it used to be really hard to get hired there too. It was like people never left positions, never opened. When I worked upstairs, there were multiple people would apply and it would take a while to get hired down there. and it just happened to be a time where they had some openings and so on a whim I was like, okay, I'm just gonna apply. And then I got an interview and was like, my God. So was like, I'm just gonna go to the interview but I don't know if I'll take it. And then they offered me a position and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to tell Kara. I came in and I had this like very like, I don't know what to do conversation with her because I... I was so torn because I loved my coworkers. I had never been so torn where it was like, I know career-wise this is what I want to do, but I'll never work with a crew like this again. And so was, I actually almost turned it down. And then in hindsight, I'm glad I didn't because it's been so wonderful, but yeah. So I've been now in the PICU for four years. Four years, amazing. I mean, I'll say my little bit about that, but just the idea that wherever you end up working, and we've said it before, I'll say it again, and I tell people all the time, I would happily take less pay to work somewhere where I enjoy going to work and I enjoy the people I work with, than to get paid more and be stuck in a place where there's no teamwork, where there's no, you know what mean, conversation maybe isn't even a thing. Maybe there's no, you I don't know. And that's the least worst of it. You never mind workplace bullying and, you know, any of that business. None of that should be tolerated. But just even in a place where you're like, or maybe it's just not the right fit, I would rather be in a place, take less money and be with amazing people. And so, you know, I love that nursing, and we've talked about this before, nursing provides those opportunities where, you know what I mean? You go, man, I realize This patient population is no longer my passion. So I'm gonna go over here. And I found this amazing group of coworkers and I do love teaching people, but this isn't where I wanna be. Now I'm ready to, okay, I can move on to this area that, know, and it's just, ah, I love that, I love that. And that's what makes nursing the best career on the planet, right? It really is because I've watched like this, the time that I've been a nurse, I became a mom and you watch your coworkers, you know, that are very career focused prior to kids. And then everything shifts because your life changes so dramatically. And I've had a lot of friends that have gone supplemental or I've had to explore other options just because of convenience for their family or even some of our coworkers that have gone to case management. where it's opened a door and some opportunity that maybe that wasn't their dream job, but now it's so wonderful for their life. And I think it's really cool that there's so many avenues you can go and you're not stuck, even if maybe you take a work from home job and then one day you're like, you know, I think I want to do PACU or I think I want to go work in a clinic or I want to go. It's just, there's so many options to fit so many different lifestyles or goals, career goals. I love that. that's awesome. Which makes it nursing student who's listening, any nursing students out there, which makes the struggle you're in right now completely worth it. I mean, time and time again, and I can't tell you from every angle, it's so worth it. It sucks when you're in it. But you're going through this tough time for a reason. On that note, Yaz, let's take that time machine back a little bit farther and let's go to your time as a nursing student, whatever you want to share about that. How challenging was that for you? And is there anything that you want to impress upon students based on your time from those years ago? I will say, yes, it was challenging. It's everything you just described. I guess I have like two things just from working where I work now, where I see, you know, we have a lot of students that come through to pick you as practicum, just on their PEDS rotations. And then like new hires and nurse techs, we have a lot of, there's just a ton of learning going on where we are. So it's kind of giving me perspective too. When I was in nursing school, didn't go straight to nursing school like right out of school, high school. I worked and kind of did it part-time. So I was in my mid-twenties when I was in nursing school. I got married during that time. And so it was a lot more challenging just because I had like other life, you know, going on instead of just like it being school as my main focus. I mean, it was, but. I, uh, my experience, I haven't really shared this with a lot of people, but my third... sorry, is I haven't shared this with a lot of people. Code for what I'm about to share is pretty darn sensitive. No, I think it's more, I think most people can identify with this. It's like you have this sense of pride when you're in school and you work really hard and it's something that's very important to you. And when I was in nursing school, my father-in-law was really sick and ended up going into hospice care. And my husband was in nursing school at the time as well. He was in his first quarter. I was in my third and it just was a really overwhelming time for us. His mom was a nurse and It was really hard because we were all taking care of him. He wasn't at like hospice house and it's different when it's your family. And he really declined and ended up passing during that third quarter. And my husband was, you know, obviously not in a good place. Things were really tough. And we in that third quarter had an elective class with IV therapy and there was only two tests. And unfortunately, during that time, I bombed one of them because it just, you know. life happens. And in order to pass, I had to get 100 % on the final and I was so anxious and just busting my butt trying to make sure that I got 100 % because I didn't need one more thing at that point. And unfortunately I missed one question on my test and ultimately failed out of that quarter. And it was devastating. I am a perfectionist. I'm someone that really puts a lot of pressure on myself and I lost my cohort. It was embarrassing. It was like, I just felt like the biggest failure and thought this is it. I'm not actually going to be a nurse after all. And it was really hard to like, A, get out of the pity party, B, You're like, okay, I can do this. I'm going to hang my head high and show up in a new cohort. But you automatically feel that like they're judging you and thinking like you're not smart. You failed. Here she is. And my instructor at the time really thought I was just full of excuses. She didn't know me. She didn't really, you know, it's easy when you are like, I have a lot going on, but truly I was doing well in my theory classes, was doing well in labs and clinicals, all of that. It was this one, one test that I bombed. But unfortunately, you know, she thought I was just kind of making excuses. And so I came back and I continued on in the program and did great. I finished out school. They were hard, obviously, like the clinicals, some of the instructors I had were so scary. I remember like, not sleeping before clinicals and you know the prep sheets and just being so nervous. But my piece of advice to students with that is just like come as eager as possible to learn things and try things. If a nurse is willing and has the time to show you like try to get some skills, offer to jump in and help with things because that is where the real learning happens. As much as you learn in school it's the hands-on clinical experience that really makes it. And as much as those instructors scared the crap out of me, it made me a safer, more conscientious nurse because I would have their little speech in the back of my head like, okay, did you check this? Did you do that? Even though it was terrifying. But back to my other story. So I finish, graduate, and aced my final quarter. And that instructor that failed me in third quarter actually pulled me into her office and told me that she was really impressed by me and that she had misjudged and was really wrong about me and that she was really proud. And she was not an instructor that was warm and fuzzy by any means. She had very high expectations and which I appreciate. And I think it really pushed me to learn a lot. And it was humbling because, you know, I could have very easily just been like, Forget this, I can't do it. I'm not coming back. But I had to kind of swallow my pride and say, you know what? I'm just going to show her. She's wrong about me and I'm just going to show her. And all these years later, the funny thing is she was so sweet and really like apologized and said that she misjudged me and she was proud. And when I couldn't get a job in the hospital, he wrote me a really wonderful letter of recommendation and is the reason I got hired on the cardiac floor where I truly wanted to work the first year. So it's one of those things where it's like a great story. just like never have wanted, I just don't like openly share that I failed a quarter, but it's in the rear view. I've been a nurse for almost 13 years and I look back and I'm like, it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change who I am as a nurse today. I wasn't not smart enough to do it. So if you're in that same situation where, you know, we all have life that happens, it doesn't mean you don't belong here. And yeah, so. Oh, yes. I just I get goosebumps hearing it. I do. It's because here you are saying and I'm hearing you saying, you felt like a failure. You failed this class. It was a failure. We failed the class. I don't share that super often. Failure, failure. That fail word keeps coming up. And yet anyone listening, you can hear exactly where she is. This is kind of why we work backwards in time. Here's where she is now. She's been a Peds ICU nurse for four years, cream of the crop, creme de la creme, has had a very rewarding, it sounds like career thus far, no matter where you've been, yes. That doesn't sound like a failure to me. That is not, that's not, that's not failing. And so in the moment, we will all have those moments in life. I'm like, I'm tearing up, I can't even, because we do, we have those moments in life, you know what I mean? You're sitting, I'm in your shoes just. feeling that I'm done. This was it. I wasn't meant to be a nurse. I'm not supposed to be a nurse. I'm not smart enough. Whatever blah blah blah. All the things, all the voices that we keep talking about. Those voices that you don't need amplified and that moment amplifies them tremendously. But those are what we call those make and break moments. Make or break moments, right? You know, there are certain things that are going to happen in your life. Here's a little nugget for everybody out there. not just nursing students, but we're all gonna have those moments in life that are make or break moments. And by that, I don't mean, you know, did we get the car we wanted? Did we, I don't know, whatever. What I mean is it's a moment where you are literally standing at a crossroads and you go, okay, Yaz could have easily said, this isn't for me. And you would have been successful wherever you went or whatever the case may be. I don't know, you know what I mean? You would have found fulfillment. It's not to say, okay, she found the right path, but it's that. idea that you have a choice to make. You know, for me, the easily relatable moment is, you know, the death of our first child. For my wife and I, that's not something you can middle of the road. You can't just, you know what I mean, like, oh, we'll kind of see how we navigate this. There's a stat that says, you know, parents who have lost, married couples who have lost a child, they're 80 % more likely to get divorced, I think. Something along those lines. It either breaks you. or it makes you stronger, pulls you closer together. And in Yaz's case, you either say, ah, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, and you go that route. Or, like you just said, it made you stronger, and you're like, no, I know I can do this, and then you ended up doing gloriously, you know what I mean? And it's just, watch out for those moments, everybody, and recognize them for what they are, and it's gonna suck. Those moments suck, I haven't heard of a, you don't have any good, good examples of a make or break moment, you know what mean? I don't know of any happy ones, but for the most part, it's those hard, challenging moments in life. And so please, please, please, choose the make. You have to choose the make. You don't get to just go that way. You have to willingly choose it. And that's not to say if you were like, man, I remember I went down this road and I chose the break. I was broken. It doesn't mean you can't be remade, you know what I mean? Or you can't go down that road. So, oh, Yaz Thank you, thank you, thank you. So before we close your episode out, is there anything you want to share, any challenges you've had, other challenges you've had in your life? I just feel like you've been a great resource for those that are listening that are like, my gosh, I want to be like you when I grow up. You know what mean? that. I won't take it that far. But you that, but you bring that heart. And so any challenges you face personally or professionally that you want to open up about and or use to help others with before we close in our traditional sense. I would say becoming an ICU nurse, being an experienced nurse, but going from adults to peds and then going from going from postpartum to critical care also was like drinking from a fire hose. it was, I use this word a lot, but very humbling. You have to humble yourself real fast because essentially you're starting from zero and I owned that. was very open to learning and knew I had a long way to go. I didn't even have a clue what I was in for when I went. I mean, I knew it was a really intense, a lot to learn, a lot of expectation, but I didn't really know like what I was in for. And I will say having worked on units where I instantly have always made friends and always just clicked with people. year it's just very serious. You work very closely with your doctors, you work very closely with each other and you have a lot of expectation. There's a lot of responsibility and lot of expectation and people aren't there to be your friends. They're there to teach you and they hold you to a high standard. And so I will say it was a bit of a culture shock and it was really hard at first. And the thing I will tell new students or new nurses in any specialty is that keep that mindset when you get your first job. You're not there to make friends. You're there to learn and become the safest and best nurse that you can be. And some of the people that were really off putting to me initially, I recognize that as a great way to learn. And just like those nursing instructors that were really challenging and really hard on me, I became a better nurse because of it. And these people that I worked with in the ICU that were kind of scary and intimidating and not warm and fuzzy, I have learned a tremendous amount from them and respect them a lot because they're really good nurses. We take care of really sick kids and we see really scary situations and they can save a life. And that's the cool thing is that, you know, if you work hard and those people will push you to be better. That is what nursing is all about. And I think you kind of have to make your own experience. You you're going to only be as good as you push yourself to be. You can show up and do the bare minimum, or you can take those opportunities to learn. Like in ICU, if you have your patients stable and they're not intubated, and you can walk around, go around the unit and see what's going on and offer to help or learn about some of the diagnoses and things that you see. And I think as a new nurse, that's so important. I think just constantly seeking out your own learning opportunities and realizing people might seem intense or they might seem not very friendly, but it's because they care a lot about what they're doing and they want you to care too. And you'll become friends. You'll make friends down the road. But the first priority is just really learning how to be a good nurse and how to take good care of your patients. Hmm. Very well said. I guess that speaks towards too, you know, over the last, I don't know, I don't even know, I can't even put a time frame on it, but you know, kind of that cancel culture that we see in society, right? Like, you know, very much of, you you've hurt me, you have no value in my life anymore, I'm cutting you out. Done. Snip. Prune. You're out. And yes, there's a place for that. I'm not saying, you know what I mean, there's certain people, you you've been with an abuser, you know, it's not like you're gonna repair that relationship. There are certain people you're not gonna have in your life. But it's gone so far that it's like, you know, we can't, oh, you're different than me. You know what I mean, you have different ideas than I do. Or like you're saying, you're not as friendly. You're not holding my hand through this like I expected you to. And so therefore, I don't like you. And I'm gonna cut you out. Please students, don't do that. Don't do that. You're gonna learn from everybody. I always say from the context of parenthood, you're gonna learn from your parents, for better and for worse. That comes both me thinking about my parents, but also my kids. They're learning hopefully some great things from me and my wife. But guess what? They also get to see the other stuff too. So it's just, you're gonna learn. But choose to learn. Make that choice. Don't cut people out. Don't shut the door. on someone who, like Yaz said, with her instructor, for example, and now her coworkers, are not only incredible resources, but an incredible source of support when you thought they were there to undermine you and cut you out. or they just know so much. And I think you're gonna find in any nursing setting, there's the most unique group of people. You would never see the people that you work with in a setting all gravitate towards one another. You just wouldn't. They're very different personality types, but you have to find a way, even if someone isn't your favorite, to work well, especially those of us on night shift. You need every body that's there. You are a skeleton crew and you have to work together. It doesn't work if you're not a team and you can be coworkers and not be best friends, but it's very important. And you'll learn that as you become a nurse and same with working with families too. You just learn how to work with people and it doesn't have to be this we're all friends and we all get along. It's like, how can we do our job effectively? And then, you know, so I don't know. Learning how to work with people is one of the skills that I feel like it just takes time and in nursing it's, they're different everywhere. Every unit I've worked on, you know, it's just an eclectic mix of people, but can be so great and so rewarding. I love that perspective. that's exactly what you said. Different beliefs, political standpoints, different whatever, different walks of life. But we're all hopefully drawn to that one place together because of one thing and that's taking care of other people. Period. End of story. So I've got to put aside my differences. Man, I may not be able to stand you. You may not be able to stand me. I'm kind of loud. I'm annoying. I'm obnoxious sometimes. But by golly, I'm gonna back you up, we're gonna save that life, and we're gonna whatever, fill in the blank, we're gonna do this task, we're gonna do this intervention, we're gonna put that catheter in, we're gonna whatever, I don't care. Come help me clean up this code brown, I can't do it by myself. Bingo! We only got two hands and oh my goodness, anyone who's been a part of a True Code Brown, you know how much a human body can produce. there's a, no, I'm not gonna go there. Eric has a great story for you. I actually have one that is actually medically related, yeah, bringing it back around to the old poop jokes there and the whole like, when people run, some people, they're known when they run a half or a full, they poop themselves. And I proudly told my coworkers and said, I've never had to deal with that until you do. And then it's not fun. Alright, before I digress down this hole, because I was going back to my own practicum experience from SCC and this one patient we had that legit code, I can't even, like the first day, I was two days with this guy and with my nurse and it was a male nurse who was just kind of showing me the ropes up in Colville and we had these two shifts back to back and that first one, I'll never forget him, I'll never say his name, the patient. And we go into, I mean it's... Yeah, as it often is, right? It's end of shift. We're nearing the end of shift. We're doing our last little, and we go in and he's just in a pool. I mean, from his crotch all the way down, and he's laying in bed. He's not mobile. So it's from, and it's all the way in between his ankles off the sides of his bed. I just, never forget, the nurse and I are looking at each other, and we're looking at him, and we're looking at each other like. Alright, roll up the sleeves, let's go. We got them all cleaned up and all the things. So night two we said, or day two we said, okay, I don't know. We don't know what we're gonna do this time. We got in there about, because apparently this guy was like clockwork. It was insane. And so we go in about 20 minutes before, and we're like, hey, Mr. Smith, let's get you onto this commode. I don't feel like I have to. I know you don't, but we're just gonna sit here just in case, okay? Much easier. Yeah, that's, you learn these things. Okay. Code Brown notwithstanding, yes, let's close this up. You had three words that you chose to describe in your recent school and you've hit one of those repeatedly, two of them actually quite repeatedly, but humbling, overwhelming, and that one word worth it. I think you did. I think anything you wanna add about those three at all. don't think so. I think that's it. That's it. And in that order, feel like, I don't know. I think humbling and overwhelming just go hand in hand all the time, right? Like that's a thing. as long as you land on worth it, that's what we're trying to get to, land on worth it. It's very hard on your life. It's hard on marriages, kids, all the things. You're going through testing, you're going through year-round school, and it feels like there's no end in sight. But I will tell you, it is so worth it on the other side for all the reasons we just talked about. And I know the state of healthcare, lots of people don't love it. There's always changes and... Like Sherry was saying in her episode, know, people will say like, you don't get paid that great. You actually do. I mean, you can live a very good life with the nursing schedule. And I think there's something to be said for working three 12s. I would never in a million years go back to a Monday through Friday gig. I love being a shift worker with three shifts a week where you can plan around your life. You can go on vacations, you can work around your kids' sports, you can do so many things. It's where it's at, for sure. I wholeheartedly agree. With that, Yaz, the traditional closing question, and you've said plenty, you've said there's so many things to take away from your episode, but if there is one thing you want people to walk away from, whether they be nursing students or otherwise, if there's one thing you want them to carry with them after they're done listening to you, what would that be? I think just pushing through the nursing school piece and knowing that there's something out there for everyone. If nursing is truly your passion, it might take you a few different jobs to find it. Your first job may not be your dream job. And I wholeheartedly support getting that experience, MedSurg, wherever. I know right now a lot of people get hired into specialties, but I think it is so important to get that baseline level of knowledge and experience because what you learned in nursing school versus what you learn hands-on in your first job are a little bit different obviously. So I think just that like don't be discouraged if you don't land in your dream job right away but like you'll find it there's something for everyone out there that's the beautiful thing of nursing. Amen sister. Well, thank you so much. Yaz. I appreciate you taking your time. this has been so fun. I love catching up with you We're gonna have to do another one year or two down the road. No, I'm just kidding We're all we're a few of us were talking about we gotta get we gotta get the old crew back together somehow So and just catch up. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Have a great day. Yaz Thanks, you too.