98 - T.I.D.

In this special episode, continue with nurse educators Jennifer Evans, Izzie Wilkes, and Eric Miller as they answer students’ questions including a-ha moments of wanting to become nurses, dealing with the anxiety of being an independent nurse for the first time, the things we would tell our younger nursing selves, if we believe in aliens, healthcare ghost stories, rapid fire top tips for new grad nurses, and more!

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Transcript

0:01

So welcome to the second episode of what we are tentatively titling the alert and oriented times three episodes, which is actually a joke as you just heard. Someone's doing it right after night shift. So there you are. And Izzie, lead us off with your first question. Okay, in my delirious state, what was your guys's like, aha moment of either like, ooh, I should be a nurse or being in finally getting into nursing and be like, yeah, I am, I am designed for this. This is for me. Like, what was your like aha moment or your affirming moment of being a nurse? make no bones about that. I did not grow up wanting to be a nurse. I definitely knew healthcare, wanted to be a doctor, took a detour into the ministry. But for me, how I became a nurse was because When I got out of the ministry, I knew that was not for me. My wife was like, well, you want to be a doctor? No, you know, we already had our first son, da-da-da. I don't want to take that time away from you. Well, what about being a nurse? That was it. That was the question asked of me. And I was like, huh, I never really thought of that. Looked it up and I was like, that's more in line with what I want to do. I want to be the one to provide the hands-on care, to build that rapport, to establish the, you know, all of that. So that was what made me be a nurse. And then going to nursing school, in the very first episode, anyone just catching this, go back to the very first episode of this podcast, I read my journal entry of my first experience at clinical in a long-term, quote unquote, old folks home, but a long-term care facility where they were having me get vitals of patients on the toilet and things like that. And I was green, green as green could be, meaning brand new when it came to patient care. And I was like, if this is nursing, It was almost the anti-aha moment, Izzie. I just was like, if this is nursing, this is not what I signed up for. If this is what we're supposed to do, oh my gosh. So for me, the aha moment came later when I was like, oh, that was not what nursing was actually representing. And from there it was off to the races. Um, I had a student who actually similar to Eric's experience was through that first semester of nursing school, long-term care. And she was like, I don't think this is for me. And I was like, don't quit yet. Right. Like you're, that's a very small part of what nursing is. You haven't experienced the, the, the, the real breadth of it. So, um, I think that's probably fairly common. Um, Eric, it's funny that you said that and I was like, I just had a student talking with me about this last semester who loves nursing now. And it's like, yes, I can do this. I can see myself in this. So sometimes it just takes time. For me, I feel like I threw around teacher, pediatrician, nurse. Those are probably good things to be. I wanted to raise my own kids. I didn't want to be a pediatrician and have that much time away. Same, you very similar. I didn't understand at that point that doctors aren't really at the bedside, you know, a whole lot. But I'm so, glad I didn't choose that. And then I saw my niece being born when I was 16. And it was like, it was like a tractor beam pulled in like, this is the moment. Nope. Done. Game over. And I went with it. You ask the question, you get to answer it. What about you, Is? turn. sorry. I'm like, I'm having my coffee with my friends this morning. I think I was always interested in like childbirth, because my mom did a home birth with me after having three C-sections, which is like taboo. You don't do that for many reasons. Don't go there. And then not naming her child for six years. Again, another thing. We'll get into that later. But then I wanted... I don't remember. think I started out in college as an art major and then landed in nursing. And then there's something about that first semester and long-term care, like that same moment of, if this is what nursing is, I can't do this. Like this is not for me. Had an instructor say, just like Jen did, someone told me to tough it out, got to med surg semester, it got a little bit better. And then got to labor and delivery or the OBP semester at WSU. And I was just like the like. the curtains opened or like, you know, the cervix dilated and I was like, aha, this is what I want to do. Oh, and I'm like, it just made sense. And for the first time, like, I don't think I sat down all day at Sacred Hearts, L&D unit. Like I was just up moving like, what can I see? What can I absorb next? Whose cervix can I check? You want to check, you want to check, you want to check. Um, but yeah, just it. It hit me, I loved it, and all of sudden I was getting good grades in nursing school and I was like, all right, I found my zone. I found my zone. So anyways, yeah. When the cervix opened I just I can't that's like my gosh. my gosh. I love it is it? Okay please no nursing student, let this be doc. But like, it's important to know the anatomy and the right terminology. There was a nursing student not too long ago who, uh, Oh, how did they phrase it? They were, you know, we're talking about like things dilating and babies descending and pushing. And they told the nurse they were chatting. Oh yeah. Like when the vagina dilates and she's like, so she's like, ah, you know, close, but not quite. And then they continue to talk further, clarify it. then they went on to say like, yeah, like when the lady lips open and the baby emerges, they were like, Proper anatomy, proper... I've had that from a patient. I tell the story about this patient who I go in and you know I'm professional and all the things and how's breastfeeding going? And her and she's you know rough around the edges or whatnot but I still didn't expect her to say well yeah baby's getting the titty milk. Like okay all right great so when you last breastfed did you do the right breast or the left breast again? Breast breast breast. Baby use the left titty. Okay, alright, good. And I'm like, ma'am, you're not gonna get me to say titty. I like my job, I'm not gonna get fired here. That's not happening. Okay, back to the serious stuff. How did you deal with the anxiety of being an independent nurse for the first time? gosh. Ew. I'll take this one while you guys are thinking. For me, because I new grad, fresh out of it, and we did not have like the residency programs that exist kind of now, but went straight into Peds Oncology. That's not a brag. If anything, that's just another piece of evidence as to how blonde I am. Got to think through those things. But no, legitimately, that's what I wanted to do straight out of the gate. Knew it was going to be intense, knew it was going to be terrifying, and it was all those things and more. For me, it was, you know, and it takes a long time, but you drive to work. And I literal pit in my stomach, just feeling that in my gut, my gosh, I'm responsible to take care of these humans and not hurt them at best and not kill them at worst. And I just, remember every time, I'd go early, I'd park in my car and I'd give myself five minutes. And I'd just let that feeling, again, feel the feels, Feel that, I'd allow that anxiety to just be there and be like, okay, I chose this. I still love this. It's difficult. I can do this. And then I had one prayer and I'd pray this prayer every day before shift. And the prayer is this, use me despite me. It's four words, use me despite me. oh, cause then I knew, I knew that no matter what happened and no matter what stupid things I do or say, someone would be taken care of. So that's how I did it. So cool. my everyday prayer. I'm stealing it. It says so much in four words. Okay, I just wanna like call out that as Eric is talking, Izzie and I are just nodding in agreement. Like, yes, I felt that too. Like, yes. And I wanna normalize that feeling for new grads. It doesn't mean you're not in the right spot. If you feel anxious, if you feel overwhelmed. It means you're learning, you're growing. Like lean into that and just accept, yeah, this is, I'm gonna feel anxious. I actually got pregnant like right when I got my first job. I was supposed to commit to a year. When I found out I was pregnant, I went to my manager and I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm gonna be on maternity leave. I won't give you a year. And she was like, she was great. Congratulations. And maybe that added to my anxiety. I don't know. You But I remember very clearly, there was this, so I started on MedSurg. I couldn't get right into L &D, started on MedSurg. There was this nurse, her name is Judy. And she, my gosh, you guys, she was amazing because she knew everything about everything. And MedSurg nurses, once, you know, they've been there a while, they do know everything about everything. It's amazing, like the span of their knowledge. And she had such confidence. and was so kind and so helpful. And I was just like, well, that's not where I'm at. And she really took me under her wing. She was awesome. But I do remember that feeling of before every single shift having that anxiety and having that like dread and a physical feeling in my stomach. And I hated that. And when I started, we had LPNs. And so I'm an RN with a BSN. And I was supposed to like sign off the charts of the LPNs. And I remember there was this guy named Robert, great nurse. And I was like, I'm supposed to sign your chart. You've been a nurse for 25 years. Also, can you help me do this thing? I don't know how to do, but sure, let me co-sign your chart. I don't know who developed that. But I have this memory, have to long, short story long. There was a gentleman who had pancreatitis, which for those of you don't know is very painful. And I remember I cared for him very early off of orientation and I had such anxiety with my alarms going off, sorry, with trying to get his, no, was to go to class, but it's a spring break so I don't have to go to class. people. We're in class. And I was so anxious with his care. And then, you know, probably eight months later, I ended up taking care of him again. And I was a different person. He was the same, right? Same symptoms, same, you know, pain management issues, same labs, but I was different. And I felt like that was so profound in that short amount of time, probably seven, eight months. I hadn't arrived, right? Like I wasn't this like all knowing. I wasn't Judy, right? By any means. But I handled the situation with a little bit more confidence, with a little bit more knowledge. And I would hope that every young green nurse, maybe not young, but green new nurse, would have that experience where they can look back and be like, I've done this before. I'm not freaked out as much this time. Or I do know what to do and I don't have to ask as many questions. There's little growth and that's okay. Just give yourself some time. But I will say, when I got to labor, I have an LDRP floor, but when I got to my unit, even when things were going sideways, I never had that anxiety, that pit in. that same. Yeah, it's kind of that initial wherever you start. That's where you get to enjoy it. It's something awaiting for you on the other side of the NCLEX. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they don't talk about that, but it's all, it's normal. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Izzie, anything to add to that? I gosh, my first year nursing was, I don't know for you guys, but like the pit in your stomach, anxiety sitting in your car, just like mentally prepared yourself. And like, I think that anxiety didn't leave for a full year. Um, and I think it wasn't, I think once you get like little pennies of compliments from like, for me, it was like the doctors are like, Hey, good job managing that patient. It gave me a little bit of a penny of confidence. I'm like, Oh, I can do this. And Jen, I don't know about you, but my first year in L and D, I got every, almost every emergency, obstetrical emergency you can imagine. And, and they weren't things that I caused, which made me feel good about a little bit better about myself. like, okay, my pitocin, like I managed everything well. had crappy tracings. Um, I had X amount of crash C sections with great outcomes. And it's just after that year, I was like, Oh, if that's the worst, like I kinda got a handle on this. And then after two years, I was like, well, shoot, I'm kind of bored. I'm having, go be a travel nurse, which we're like, gosh, like I should have humbled myself a little bit, but like that first year in nursing, you guys, it is hard. is anxiety provoking. I think Jen, you said lean into it. And I totally agree for me. was like, okay, how do I use this as a tool? Like, I know I'm supposed to be here. know God put me in this area for a reason. I know I, I loved this. How do I get back to loving this? And it was getting. to so proficient at my job, I didn't have to ask for help every five seconds. But like still even we do have to ask for help though every day in some capacity, but it was fun after that year of now knowing my job and being proficient. Yeah. That's amazing. Alright, in the interest of time, because I'm watching that clock tick on down. Someone needs their highlights. I said I was sorry! guys. We got a lot of gray up here. I have no don't even don't even Don't give away the secret that I'm not a natural blonde. Okay, so, what? What? my gosh. What is something that you would tell yourself either 10 years ago or whenever you first started nursing? I think for me it'd be, you can do this. You can do this. And I had to tell myself that back then, but to be able to say, you know what I mean? To go, hey, younger you, younger nurse, Eric, you're gonna have, only can you do this, you're going to have the most rewarding career ever. And you know that, but you don't know what that looks like until you've seen it. and the number of lives that you know you've impacted and the number of lives you don't know you've impacted just goes beyond, like that is the icing on the cake. that's what I tell myself just to give myself that extra boost. Okay, I'm sitting here thinking and I've got nothing, but then I did think of something, but it's cheesy. It's not like super deep, but it's kind of deep. So, because when I started, you said 10 years ago, well, I've been a nurse for like 21 years. So it was a little bit further back. can you do that when you're only 25, Jen? I came out of the womb a nurse, apparently. there's the aha moment. The cervix opened! Hahaha So sorry. genetic, my mom's a nurse, so it's genetic. Okay, well we didn't have Pinterest back then. We didn't have like computer charting for Pete's sake back then. But I've seen younger nurses do it and I just, if I could go back in time, it's so silly. I would have like a bead jar of babies that I've delivered. I would put in, you know, blue for boy, pink for girl, nurse deliveries, I would put those in, even like my angel babies, like Demises, I would put in so that I had some sort of record looking back of those vulnerable moments that I've been part of. It kills me that I can't track it, you know, but I would do that. Easy. Okay, read it to me one more time. Give it to her one more time. I'll delete it. Now the funny thing is I'm deleting these questions as I'm asking them, but I've got a copy, don't worry, it's right here. No, no, no, it's right here. It's right here. What's something you'd tell yourself 10 years ago or when you first started nursing, either. Mm, okay. Go to days. yeah, right. Ew, you guys. Gross. Gross. But maybe not ten years ago and definitely not when I first started. But I would say sooner than I did. that's... Anyway, Izzie, what's your answer to... Never go to days. Izzie's answer is never go to days. They really are. They really are. I wish I would have just told myself, it will be fun. Like, you will find... I hopped around a lot. I did travel nursing, loved that. And I got to a unit in the town that I settled down in and was told, you know, don't go anywhere else. The grass isn't any greener at any other hospital in the area. Um, and I sadly, you know, the grass was greener in fact. So just, I wish I would have told myself it gets better. Hop around, you know, not every shoe fits. Find the one that works best for you. Yep. Like I knew I loved the area of medicine I was in, but I didn't necessarily love the unit or the hospital I was in. And so, um, where I'm at now is just fantastic. I love my coworkers. We have good bosses, which is, says a lot. Um, yeah. Like my union, all things like that. Go unions. did you have any other questions that you had procured? I know you said you had some. I just wanted to give you a chance to, because I've got the one left. I still have a bunch, but I have one last one that'll be the last one that I think will be a great one to land on. Oh, I've got some like work ones like who's your favorite co worker? Which co worker have you learned the most from? What's the what's the silly? Yeah, what's the silliest work mistake you've ever done? Jen knows mine. Sorry. I'd say we could answer that, but I think we've addressed that even in both of your guys' episodes in mind. So we won't do the silliest mistake one, if that's okay. Any other questions that any students had that would be general, help them in their practice questions. me see if there were any good. Hold on. Oh, one of them was Do You Believe in Aliens? Yeah, we're okay with that. Ooh! I don't know, I'm gonna answer that one. Do you believe in aliens? Here's my answer to that. And it's another motto I have that my students hear all the time. I'm so sorry that you have to hear it again for those of you that have heard me say it before. And that is that it takes all types of people to make the world go round. And it's proven to me every single day that I live and work. That's my answer to do you believe in aliens? Because. I don't know, sometimes I wonder if they walk amongst us. Alright, find the answers out, yes it's me, I am an alien. Anyway, okay, moving along. him take the duct tape off Jen. Put it back on him. I know, I know you're right. Jen, do you believe in aliens? I know Eric's one, so... Okay. Hard pass. take it to the next level, because I always wanted to do a Halloween episode. a podcast on conspiracy theories? No, no, no, let's answer, although that would be, oh gosh. But, but, here's the follow-up to that question. Do you guys have any ghost stories or believe in ghosts? I don't believe in ghosts, I, sadly, I think I've encountered a few. How so? Uh, the first unit I worked on, which I just loved, um, it had previously actually been a morgue. That floor had been a morgue and then they renovated it and it became an LDRP unit. so I know. Yeah. And we had a really, it was like a huge horseshoe of a unit and yeah, I was like, that was an interesting choice to make. Cool. Um, I, at, at this hospital, you were not supposed to go in and steal things out of other rooms. Like. Each room had like five pillows, something like that. You weren't to take pillows out of others, but I had a really fluffy mama who needed an extra pillow and I snuck into a room that the lights were off in. Jamie, the housekeeper, she was standing at the computer and I was like, Jamie, don't tell anybody, but I'm a steel this pillow for my patient. I'll return it later. And I stole the pillow out and left. then took care of my patient, yada, yada, went home and then I woke. It was night shift. woke up at 10 a.m. with this very weird feeling and I called the unit. I said, hey, you guys, was did Jamie work last night? Because I was just thinking about running in the room real quick and seeing her at the computer cleaning the room. And they're like, is he Jamie's been on vacation last two weeks. And I'm like, who the heck? Anyway, I saw a girl with long black hair like the housekeeper, very, very pale white skin. And Jamie had pale white skin standing at the computer typing. And then I realized in my memory when your computers, when they weren't active, they just had a blue light reflecting off. And, yeah, it wasn't Jamie and there's nobody else on the unit that looks like her. I, what dawned on me is when I talked to Jamie, didn't look at me or turn to me or respond to anything I said. Uh, but the computer actually wasn't functioning. So just creepy. Just creepy. Yeah, I don't know. Because I got two of my own. UGHHHH No, although, so Izzie, you don't know this because it's been a long time. But one of our OBGYNs, his dad was also an OBGYN who passed away, Dr. McKenna's dad, McKenna Sr. And he much like... J.I. would, he was quite the prankster. And back when we had paper charts, which were like binders, he would flip them, right? Bugging the nurses, right? And so, him closed or flip him on the floor. They would open at the top and yeah, anyway, go. Not that I've ever done that myself, mind you. he was before my time, but we would, we still had paper charts and if they would fall on the floor, somebody would say, Oh, that's Dr. McKenna. that's Dr. McKenna senior, because that was his MO. He would always be like flipping the flipping the charts. Yeah. be quick with mine, because I wanted, the last one is obviously a much more important question than this, but this is for entertainment factors, it's been great. No, one time I came out, I had used the restroom, I've worked night shift, peds oncology. Peds oncology, you think, would lend itself to a number of ghost stories, not wrong there. One time I came out of the bathroom, and my fellow nurses are staring at the phone that's ringing in the playroom at about 3.30 in the morning. And I usually, know, someone's called the wrong number, it's a big hospital, all the things, whatever, and everybody's staring at it, I'm like, what's going on? They're like, the phone's ringing. Why hasn't anybody answered it? So I go walk right in and I'm like ready to go answer it and I just catch a, and a no joke to this day, the area code was 777 and I didn't get to the phone in time. And I was like, guys, you just missed a call from heaven. I don't know what happened. Somebody's trying to get a hold of us and nobody answered it. And so anyway, and we had things to say about that. Other people had reported on that unit. We had a beautiful patient. Got to speak at her. memorial service and she would wear these beautiful little fairy wings all around the unit and people would describe seeing you know a little girl running by with fairy wings stuff like that. We had one mama, patient mama who asked one of our ANM at the time they had asked her they said well who was the girl that came in and talked to me and like played with my hair and like kind of was doing my hair and stuff like that and she's like well I I don't see anybody go in your room who you know I mean who are you so she described the girl. And the A recognizing this was a patient of ours that had died within the last couple of months, went and got the memorial service leaflet and came out and just said, took the picture and just said, oh, does that look close to, yeah. She said, yeah, that was her. Weirdest thing I ever, you know what I mean? And again, I'm not part of any of these. I've never been part of a ghost story. But my favorite one is from our unit. Currently and they tell the story about we call him ghost boy from one of our rooms and and so ghost boy somebody had seen this Again started with the patient room like they were like well. was this you know we thought there was this boy or so anyway and the one of our nurses at the nurses station saw this boy walk by the nurses station. They could just see the hat bobbing along and she said she got up, went around to ask him where he's going and who he belongs to. There was nobody there. And this was somebody that I trust implicitly. Ergo, I don't know that I believe in ghosts. don't know why. can't explain ghosts, but I do believe that people see something and like, know, like, Izzie like what you're describing? There's something there. Like I'm telling people like, well, no, are people are trapped. know, they're they're trapped where they worked. And I'm like, I'll tell you the last place I'm gonna haunt when I die is where I worked. I'm sorry, like, you know what mean? Maybe flipping charts over and stuff. Okay, I'm looking at the time. We got just enough time for this last super important question. I'm gonna read it the way it was written, but all three of us, Izzie and Jennifer talked about doing like a rapid fire thing. This will be a rapid fire answer. For all of us, we can give as many answers as any of the three of us like. How does that sound? It'll make sense here in a second. What are your top three tips for new grad nurses? So, top tips for new grad nurses. We're gonna rapid fire this one. Whatever we can come up with, go. Mentally prepare yourself for work each day. I'm asking for a friend, how do you do that? Get a good night's sleep, drink your coffee, feel prepared. Get your favorite compression socks on, good shoes. If you get to wear cute scrubs to work, do that. know, because some of us started when you wore Mickey Mouse scrubs to work and now you get to wear sexy figs to work and look cute and prepared. That's how I roll, y'all. That's how I roll. lie. I prefer the vending machine scrubs that comes down on my laundry so much. I will. Yeah. I respect that. I respect that. were not comfortable, the dark blue ones are vastly more comfortable. Yeah. Our top tips for new grad nurses. And you've already, I'll echo what you guys already emphasized and that was, you know, normalize the anxiety. Understand the anxiety is real, but also don't let it rule you. I guess the follow up to that is fear, but don't fear. I always tell my new hires and all the things I'm like, you're going to have the healthy fear. That's the respect for the job, the respect for, you know, my gosh, I don't want to hurt anybody. Always maintain that fear. But don't let the other fear, the crippling fear, stop you from doing what you gotta do. Mm-hmm. I would say that, you know, there's sometimes things that come along that you, I didn't learn that in nursing school, right? Sometimes you have to, well, you always have to keep learning, but take the time, I am actually stealing this from my friend Stephanie. It was her advice, but it's really good advice. When you come across one of these things, like I don't remember anything about, hopefully you do, pancreatitis, off the clock. spend some time going back and re-familiarizing yourself or researching or that kind of thing. On the shift is a really hard time to learn pathophysiology and really understand a process. And so when you come across one of these things, like, I don't remember why, fill in the blank, whatever, pancreatitis is so painful, go back and really take the time to research it. I don't have any of my nursing school books, but we have this lovely thing called the internet. And so Google it, GTS is what I tell my students, but from a reputable site. Mm-hmm. All right. G-T-S-F-A-R-S. Okay, yep. His brain is working faster than ours, is he? From a reputable site. I think I said it right. don't know. On playback I'll be like, I got it wrong. There it is! Izzie's back! The non-blonde joining the blondes. shut up have had pens in your pocket scissors in your pocket a hemostat yeah those things my gosh yeah sure you're just, man, you need those all the time. Yes. and if you've got cargoes, throw some flushes in there. Yes. Set boundaries, both on the job and off the job. You're gonna have family members and friends. Hey, I got this weird rash in the inside of my groin. Do you wanna take a look right here? No, like no. The answer is always my friends, the answer is always, you know what, my advice would be go talk to your provider. That's it, right there. Guard your sleep. Try and protect your sleep as best you can. We've already touched on that. Whether you're a night shift worker or a day shift worker, ironically, I protect my sleep schedule. I always did it as a night shifter, tried to get as much as I could, et cetera, et My family was always great about that. You can only do what you can only do, but even still, even the irony is as a year plus on day shift now, I guard it even more, much to the chagrin of my family. I'm the old man that goes to bed early. I make sure I'm getting, I try to get at least seven hours of sleep, and I can't tell you, especially as you get older. Man, you're gonna feel it, you're gonna feel it. So try and protect your sleep. Okay. You first. Get organized. And what I mean by that is I remember when I was a new grad, oh Lord, I had, okay, you know a brain sheet, right? Like this is your way to organize your tasks and patient information, maybe assessment data, whatever. I had like a full page on each patient. It was extensive. And over time, I didn't need something as extensive and. But get organized before your shift. So I forgot about this advice that I would say to a new grad, come to work early, get your patient assignments, spend some time in your patient's charts looking, why are we all sideways? Did we all turn sideways? sorry. Oh, Eric, you jerk! Sorry, I'm trying to charge my phone. Sorry. Get organized. but like figure out your system for your brain sheet. I would highlight things that I have to do, that like I have to do these things. Other nurses use different colors, right? Blue means this, green means this, whatever. And figure out a way to get your brain organized before you start seeing your patients, I think is a really good habit for newer nurses. Have healthy relationships. My big one, especially if you're working night shift, if you have a partner and you, you know, it's different when you're both working day shift. If you guys are opposite and you have a fight or if you have a disagreement and it doesn't, you don't have a resolution by the time, you know, they get to go to sleep and yet you're up all night working and you might be dwelling on it, et cetera. Like have healthy relationships with communication to where you can. put something on pause so you can focus on work because when you're on different timelines with days and nights, work schedules, it can really impact your work-life balance and your mental health at work. So I'm a big advocate for healthy relationships that can respect your night shift life. Awesome. And I think because of time, the last one I'll give is give yourself grace. It's not always personal. People are going to say things to you, say things about you. And I wish it stopped after middle school. Ironically enough, it doesn't. So, you know, don't be afraid of the confrontation, the respectful confrontation of, you know, come on, what's going on? You know, I want to have a good working relationship with you. If that works, great. Otherwise, at minimum, make sure you know that not everyone's gonna like you. You're not gonna like everybody else, ergo, not everyone's gonna like you. And if you're a people pleaser, man, that's a hard one to learn. And it's okay, and that's all right. And so, you in those moments, know, stinging character rebukes, those are awful. Those are, you know what I mean? Like, but then ask yourself, is it true? No, okay, then prove otherwise. You know what I mean? Show them that's not true, so. Those would be the, you guys, so many questions came in. think we hopefully did a good service here. And for those of you that asked questions that we didn't get to, who knows? Maybe we'll do another one. But this has been so much fun, you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thanks for letting us hijack your podcast again. love it. Heck yeah. That burlap was itchy. Have a good day everybody! Bye guys. Loser. your hair done. Bye.