125 - Callie Allen Pt 1: This is Callie 2.0

Join tenured nurse and Salt Lake City, Utah native Honored Guest Callie Allen as she talks about her convoluted nursing degree journey, waddling into the worst interview of her life, never being “just a nurse,” finally doing the big scary thing, her incredible victory, and more!

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Transcript

0:01

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Feeding Our Young podcast. Be forewarned, listening audience, this episode might go four hours long. No, it won't go four hours long. At most, we'll cap it at three. ah I have someone in the studio who doesn't know when to shut up and that is respectfully said because it takes one to know one. And we both came out of the college of don't stop talking. University. So with that, I'm not going to we're going to jump right in because she does have a lot to say. I want her to do most of the talking. Ladies and gentlemen, Callie Allen. Callie, how the heck are you today? my gosh, just live in the dream another day, Eric. And uh for the listening audience, so they know what they're getting into, uh where did you just come from? What did you just do? You know, uh, I've done nights for more than 18 years now. And, um, I just came off of my third grave and an overtime grave on my first week back post surgery. it is! That's the piece I wanted to make sure you got in there. So yes, and how long were you off before you worked this amazingly easy work week? Yeah. thing, different day. I was out for six months. Six months I was, yeah, out recovering from shoulder surgery. Save your shoulders, nurses. Yep, your shoulders. uh Or shave your shoulders also. mean, I don't know if you need... There you go. There's... Practical advice number one. We're already coming out of the shoot with these life-changing pieces of advice. All right, Callie. Callie, where... I could just go down this road and we're not gonna... Where are you from, Callie? Where's home for you? So home for me actually original home I was born and raised in Salt Lake City, Utah. uh I have had family here in the Pacific Northwest forever. My mom was raised on the west side of the state. My dad was raised over here in a teeny, teeny town called Tico. And my parents ended up in Utah with always the goal of coming back and they never did. ah So I feel like I grew up here in the summer because my grandparents have a late cabin. So all. Every year we'd come up here in the summer, on one side for part of it, go to the other side for the other. And uh so we moved back up here or moved here, I should say, uh in 2019, my husband and our three kids, uh because his job in Utah went away and there was a job here. And it felt like home from the second we got here. It has just been a dream and I'm so happy to be here. Well, I'm happy you're here, because then selfishly that means I had the pleasure of meeting you. all right, so I'm gonna in the interest of the irony is here people is that you got two talkers and the irony is I am making concerted efforts to try and tighten things up. I'm like when I do a bunch of editing, I go back and I'm like, my gosh, like are we gonna get to the nursing stuff like ever? We're 15 minutes into this. and we're talking about family and the icebreakers, which is all lovely, but that's not why you're here. So, we're gonna try and tighten it up. I don't know, I can't guarantee it's gonna happen, but with that, Callie, what are the three words you would use to describe nursing school? We'll talk about them at the end of your episode. there we go. Yes. Okay. So the three words that I would use to describe nursing school are challenging, exciting, and transformative. I can't wait to find out why you picked those and also what are three of your favorite songs in life right now? Okay, so I just saw Hamilton for the first time and oh my gosh, it was so good. I uh obsessed, obsessed. And so I've been listening to that on repeat since I saw it, the whole soundtrack, which is a long one. So I really, really liked my shot, the one that Alexander Hamilton sing. my gosh, so good, so good. ah The second song that I tend to gravitate towards often, uh again, another uh musical, is Defying Gravity from Wicked. And that's actually because my youngest, my baby Hazel, she's eight, but she'll always be my baby. ah She absolutely fell in love with Wicked. I thought it might be a little bit old for her. but it wasn't and she's obsessed and it is our thing. And so I listen to that all the time. And then the other one that I listen to a lot is I'm Not Okay by Jelly Roll. And I really like it because I think it's so honest and it just, it says the thing all the way out loud that I think a lot of people feel a lot uh in a lot of life anymore is like it's. It's not okay, but it will be, we'll get there. And every time I'm going through something and think like this is the hardest thing I've ever done or I can't even believe that this is happening, I can always look back and I'm like, yeah, but I mean, like I got through that too, right? Like we've survived all of our worst days so far and we're still standing. and we're still standing. Oh, I love it. I love it. And you're, I think that's the third time that that song has come up. At least the second time officially since I started asking that question and a third retroactively from someone in one of my earlier honored guests who didn't get a chance to answer that question until after the fact. So that's how important it is people. If it's coming up by different people in different aspects of life, it's important. Go listen to it. That being said, now. You have been prepared. You know what's coming next, Callie, but you don't know what's coming next. Is that correct? It's either famous last words or we're great. So now for listening audience. I just finally did the math. was like, you know, when the... So what's about to happen, as you already know, is the patent not pending, unofficial Feeding Our Young personality test. oh 2.0. 2.0. So I was like, well, you know, I'll wait till the first one comes out and people are listening to that before I change the questions. Goodness gracious, that one hasn't come out yet. It's due to come out next week. But the idea is that I went back and counted them like I asked the same questions of 22 honored guests. That's way too many. I'm going to do 10. We're going to change it every 10 honored guests. So Callie, congratulations. You are the first honored guest to receive 2.0 version. of the Feeding Our Young Personality test, are you ready? Okay, you may give rapid fire answers and or include a little bit of rationale if you want, but here they are. We're gonna find out exactly what type of person you are. First off, would you rather never be able to go out during the day or never be able to go out during the night? Night. Would you rather lose the ability to lie or believe everything you're told? uh I would rather lose my ability to lie. Would you rather never have to wait in line again or always have a parking spot available? Always have a parking spot. We live in Spokane! says with her face scrunched up as if like that's even a question. I can't wait. Maybe, I don't know, maybe we'll be 10 for 10 on that one, but who knows. uh Would you rather, now assuming of course that your one wish cannot be, can I have more wishes? Would you rather have one wish granted today or 10 wishes granted 20 years from now? Oh, 10, 20 years from now. Okay. And or, last question. This is the one that really tells us your personality. Would you rather have an aisle seat or a window seat? window. Window. Alright, well congratulations. The results are in. You are outstanding. Way to go, Callie. Way to go. I know, I know. It was touch and go there for a second, but you landed on the right side. Alright, alright, and here we are. Almost 10 minutes in. With all the fluff and all the things. We're gonna dive right into your story. Starting with, and this is why I saved it for after that. Because you have a little story to tell about this. degrees do you hold, Callie and where did you get them? Tell us about that journey. Okay, so I have just a general ed degree that I acquired while I was waiting to get into nursing school. When I was in Utah, ah the wait to get into nursing school, it was very popular. People wanted to either be nurses or teachers. so there were, there was not enough schools for way too many people. So I... started college right out of high school and worked through all of my prerequisites, wanted to get everything done so I could apply for nursing school. And I did that and I got accepted. I was at Salt Lake Community College where I met my... Yeah, it was so easy. Just like boom, boom, boom, boom. uh No, we... So I applied. I'm so excited. I finished everything and I applied and I got my letter of acceptance with an entry date. So this was... 2006 and I had an anticipated entry date of fall 2013. You guys, to six years, six, seven year wait, like, my gosh. And my sister was here, um going, she was getting ready, like doing her prerequisites as well, walking into school at NIC. Like just, yeah, I got accepted. I'm there. Yeah. Oh man. I have a master's degree before I get into nursing school. So I was pretty bummed about that. ah Because they just, put you on a waiting list at the community college. were just like, yep, when we get to your number, we'll take you. So uh I transferred up to Weber State University. I call it Utah WSU, not go Cougs, go Owcots. But ah I went up there and finished what I needed to to get my general ed degree. So just an associate to general education with an emphasis in science. And then I applied for their program and I didn't get in and I was crushed. Oh, I will still get emotional about it. I was so sad, but it was a very competitive program. So while they didn't do a wait list, they said they usually had anywhere from 400 to 450 applicants for 90 spots. And they only did one cohort a year that started in the fall. So I didn't get in that year. um I applied the following year and I got a letter of acceptance telling me that I was an alternate. And I was excited, but kind of cautiously, because I was like, what does that mean? So my mom, who's always been just my ultimate cheerleader, always there for me, we went to the, they had a meeting that you could go to with the uh, counts like the guidance counselors at the school, um, the people that weren't admissions to help you understand what it was on your application that didn't like help you make the cut, right? Because it was a point space thing. So they looked at your science GPA and your overall GPA and your essay, and do you have your CNA license? And all of these things got you points, including if you were a male. you got an extra point. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, are you serious? So we went to this informational meeting to find out like, okay, what were my points? What do I need to do to look better on the application so I can get more? Because they would just do your points and then go down the list, 90 spots and say, okay, you guys are in. And then they would take about 10 more people and say, you guys are alternates. Should anybody not want their spots? So we get up to the desk to see the guy. They have like four or five people waiting in all these lines and people just waiting to get up and see what their score was. And the guy opened it up and he was like, my mom's like, what does she need to do? And he was like. Hehehehehe And she was like, we're not very patient. And he was like, listen, there are a good number of students in every cohort that end up getting it in another school, deciding to do something else. They get married, they have a baby, whatever. Just give it a second. And sure enough, a week later, I got my acceptance letter that I was in. I like, you said, you know, alternate, and immediately in my mind I translated it to understudy. You're just waiting for the lead role to get sick, ill, injured, have a kid, whatever, and you get to fill that role, so. Yes. So I got in to Weber State. ah It was an incredible program. I enjoyed it very much. So I got my ADN, my associate degree, and ah I got surprised pregnant my last year of nursing school. Like in the fall going into clinicals and all of the things, I took my NCLEX 26 weeks pregnant and I made a joke. Like they were asking to see my tattoos before I went in to take it, right? Like they were like, we need to see your tattoos. And I was like, oh, I was like, do you want my first born? And the guy like looked at me and I was like, oh my God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Take it back. So I got my associates and did not go right through. They had just started doing an RN to BSN Bridge program. And because they were just starting it that year, they were going to let everybody that was in that cohort have an extra point to apply to get into that because that was also a very coveted program. Again, too many people in Utah, not enough nursing schools. And so was hard to get in anywhere. And so I thought about it and I was like, my baby is only going to be a baby once. I only get to be a first-time mom once. School will always be there was kind of my thought. It's always going to be there, right? ah And so I didn't go right through for my bachelor's. I got that and then, you know, uh started working. I actually started working in an emergency department ah because I couldn't get in in labor and delivery as a new grad, even though I was currently working in labor and delivery. And I had doctors that were like, what do mean you're not going to work with us as a nurse now? And I was like, I can't. So I waddled into the worst interview of my life. Just laughable. I had to wear flip flops because my pay was so small. And yeah, and came on to the unit. In fact, when they called me and offered me the job, was like, he knows I'm the pregnant one, right? And the recruiter was like, what? And I was like, mind, I accept. mind. Leave it alone. and worked for like two weeks, barely could get around and then was off with my first baby for eight weeks and came back and hit the ground running. And then I convinced myself, told myself, what do you do with the BSN? Like, don't wanna go into management because the dream for me had become bedside labor and delivery nursing. And so I was like, What is a BSN? I don't want to go follow a school nurse around. I don't want to go do a hospice. don't like, what do need my BSN for? Like, it's fine. I don't need it. It's not gonna make me a better nurse at the bedside. Spoiler alert, does change things. And it is important and I think it's great. And that's not to say that someone who doesn't have a BSN isn't a fantastic nurse, but I convinced myself forever that I was like, I don't need it. I don't get any more pay for it. Why do I take out more student loans? All of that kind of stuff. And then I moved here to Washington and Sacred Heart was like, do you have a BSN? And I was like, oh, no. And they were like, well, that's fine. They're like, that's fine. You just need to be in a program within three years of hire. And I was like, okay, sure. Yeah, totally. I'll do that. And then I dodged it. Cause like I was in labor and delivery. I didn't even mean to, it just is how it happened, right? I was in labor and delivery. So I started there in 2019. And then in 2021, I moved to NICU for a hot minute. I call it my COVID crisis. And I tried on NICU for a minute. so that timer started over. Plus it was COVID, right? And I was like, I dare you to tell me that you're going to fire me if I'm not in BSA program. So yeah, so I kind of dodged the bullet. But then I decided I wanted to go back to labor and delivery. And I live really close to Valley Hospital. Eric, I know you know being from here being local. um And they have an LDRP unit, is a labor delivery postpartum, or labor delivery recovery postpartum unit. So we do everything. um We don't have a NICU, but we still get to do like well baby stuff and stabilize and transport. So my NICU stuff comes into play when we have a sick baby that I can look at and be like, yeah, this kid can't stay here. kid's gotta go. Cause I'd be taking care of him up there. And so, My dream really truly when I started in a labor, my first labor and delivery unit, when I looked at my mentors and the nurses that have been there forever, it was the ones that did all of the things. They could labor you, they could teach you how to breastfeed, they could take care of your baby if your baby needed a little extra, and they could send you out breastfeeding and confidence that like, it's okay, you're scared, but it's gonna be okay. That was really what I wanted to do. I was like, I want to do it all. It's not just enough to do the one. Going to NICU was great. It was a great experience, but I missed labor so much. I was just aching for it. And so I decided to try Valley on for size. They had a big sign-on bonus, which was great. It allowed me to go to a really important nursing conference that kind of changed my life. And it gave me that LDRP that I was missing that community level versus the high risk at Sacred Heart. And they offered an increase in pay for your BSN. And I was back on a time crunch for needing to get that BSN. So uh last year, like peak burnout, you know, all of us coming out of COVID, think, like really finally getting to what we think is the other side of it. uh I was like, I just don't know that this is the dream anymore. And my original dream from the time I was really young was actually to be a nurse midwife. In fact, I read a book, I read a memoir um from a midwife that worked in California in the seventies in San Francisco. She's wild. ah When I was about 17 and was just like, that's what I was put on this earth to do. But then when I got to labor and delivery and saw what the nurses did, I was like, I don't need to go get my masters or my doctorate. I can just do all of the cool stuff as a nurse. I I've caught babies when docs can't make it. It's exhilarating. It's terrifying. And everything's OK. And you're like, great. And so I convinced myself that I didn't really need to be a midwife. It was fine to be. I don't want to say just a nurse because we're never. just a nurse, but I told myself, and I was really happy for a long time being a bedside labor and delivery nurse. still, mean, going back to work this week, Eric, my gosh. I mean, my first, I'll get emotional about it. The first patient that I got to go in and see, so sweet. And she needed like, she needed that TLC. She needed some help just getting over the fear and stuff that she had first time mom. And I went and saw her on my next shift because she had delivered and I wanted to go in and say, Hey, congratulations. And she touched my arm and just said, thank you so much. Like everything you said last night was just so helpful. And I really appreciate everything you did. And I was like, that's it right there. I mean, that is my warm fuzzy. That is my reward. That is the thing that fulfills me and keeps me there at the bedside and makes me think that I could never leave the bedside, but I am very. motivated to continue to do more. And having gone to the nursing conference that I went to in 2023 was really what made me think, it just lit this fire in me again, that I just didn't feel like I could do what I really, really want to do in the place that I am right now, that I am in right now. And so I decided that to say the big scary thing out loud, which is I still want to be a midwife. And yeah, and so I had to get my bachelor's to do it. My husband went to WGU to get his bachelor's and master's and had a great experience. And I was a little nervous about getting out of the traditional brick and mortar, go to class, know, sit in a desk, listen to a lecture. I have ADHD. And the procrastination is real. in a hyper focus that allows me to still get everything done, even if it's at the last minute is also very real. But I was like, is this just going to be way too stressful because it's all self paced. It's all like, you can ought to do it when you want to do it, when you can do it. And I started my mentor called me and do my little meet and greet with her, right. And I was so, I wasn't rude, but I was like, listen, Nancy, I, I was, I said, I am not here to have a good time. I'm not excited about this. I've actually never wanted to do this. I said, I want this to work. I said, this is just a necessary evil to get to where I want to go. And I said, it just feels like another one of that, you know, in nursing, so they talk about all the hoops you have to jump through, right? The hoops to get into nursing school and the hoops in nursing, like there's just always a hoop. And I was like, this is just another hoop for me. And she was like, that's fair. That's totally fair. She was. that actually we're dear friends now and now we can be friends on social media because she's not my mentor anymore and I just adore her. I adore her. uh But I was like, this is, I'm just, I am here to get this done quick and I'm only doing this here because it can get it done quick. Cause I really wanted to go to WSU, go Cougs WSU. um And I got to the end, Eric, I'm gonna get emotional. And I got, um Whew, Yeah, let it out. This is a safe space. I'll cry with you, sister. I worked, what was so cool about WGU was how much I could relate it to what I'm doing now. Because I have said, I've said in the last few years, but I'm like, you know what? If they would make it like specialty specific, I would have done it years ago, years ago. And the cool thing about WGU is that you can make it exactly what you need it to be. And so every paper I wrote had me digging deeper in my specialty in labor and delivery and going down rabbit holes. didn't even need to go down, but I ended up there anyway. And I wrote this paper that I was so passionate about and I felt so good about. And I submitted it, it came back, passed for submission. I was like, yes. And a couple of weeks later, I get an email that says it's been nominated and been awarded an excellence award. Ugh. I was like, oh, that's cool. That's nice, right? And then I got to see what the evaluator wrote about my paper. And I was absolutely like, oh my gosh. They were really impressed with what I wrote. And then I looked up, I was looking further into some things in the handbook, and I realized how actually that award is a really big deal. They said they only give it out to 1 % 2 % of the submissions that they get. And I was like, my gosh, wow. So that got me all hyped up, right? I'm pounding all these classes out. I did 25 credits in about four months. um Yeah, I was off work. I was like, you know what? I'm on time. This is my job right now. So um I got to the end. I submitted my BSN capstone project, you know, a change of, I had to do a presentation about a change that I would like to see on our unit to help improve patient safety. And when I took it to my manager to talk to her about it, I thought she'd be like, I'll and sign it, whatever. And she sat down and gave me feedback. And initially I was a little bit annoyed because I was like, listen, don't need your feedback. I just need you to sign this paper so I can submit it. And then I realized like she really wanted me to work this through because she wanted to do it on the unit. And I took her feedback and totally refocused my paper, essentially kind of rewrote it and submitted it and it passed. And then I put together my portfolio and I pulled all of the papers that I had written, right? And they have you write all these reflections, which On the surface, was like, my gosh, I don't want to write a reflection. Like I did it. Yes. Like it's here. See. And as I was hyper focusing for two days, it like just round the clock, my husband is bringing me meals to our little office that we have in the backyard where he usually works. And I get to the end of this capstone project. that is over 100 pages long. And I get to submit my excellence award, right? They're like, what else do you want to throw in here? And I get to submit that. And I'm looking at it. And I was like, I am actually so proud of this achievement. I am so excited that I did this. I convinced myself that I made it through nursing school. and I passed my NCLEX with 75 questions. And that because of my ADHD that got diagnosed later in life, that I just wasn't, I didn't have what it took to go back and do more, right? It was like, it's fine. I'm doing what I love. you at that point you feel like you have reached the pinnacle right like you're like I this is I've done more than I even thought I could at this point and now I can and I I know you have more to say about that so that's why I'm like I sat there and just looked at this huge file on my computer that took so long to upload, right? You're waiting, you know, when you're waiting for it to upload and you're waiting for it to do the little spinny thing that's like, did you, did you steal this from ChatGPT? Like, where did you, where did you get this paper from? How similar is it? Right. And it's like taking forever to run because it's 126 pages. I was sitting there thinking, they gonna think that I plagiarized something because I've already submitted those? Irrational fears, right? uh let me, I'm gonna, those aren't irrational fears. And for those that don't understand exactly what we're talking about here, having gone through the WGU process myself, they go through and they verify. You submit this paper and then within a relatively short period of time, they can go through and see here's, it's a similarity report and you have to be under a certain percentage. And if you're not under that certain percentage, then they come back and say, hey, what's going on and so on and so forth. I mean, and it could be totally benign, it's not like you're trying to cheat, but they'll go back and say, hey, what's the, it won't allow you, you'll see it and it'll be like, oh, okay, so this, these, and a lot of it is, you know what I mean, if you use a lot of their words for like each question prompt or something like that, then by all means, that's gonna flag, you know what I mean, similarity. But they're looking to make sure that what you're doing is genuine and it hasn't. really been done before. that's just a little background on that. So yes, so not irrational fear at all. You're watching that thing. I've sat in that seat going, okay, is there something that somebody had the same idea that I did and they somehow, you know what I mean? Like, my gosh, like this is horrible. like, yeah, somewhere it like I must have seen something and then wrote something that was just in my brain. Yeah. So I'm like, it's spinning. And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking about it. And I'm looking over these, these papers that I've written these papers that Eric, every time I checked in with my mentor and like finished another class, I was like, I said this every single time I was like, I don't want to admit it. And she would laugh and I'm like, I just don't want to say out loud that I'm enjoying this because I wasn't going to enjoy this. oh I was hell bent that this was not important and it didn't matter. And it matters. It matters. And it was so amazing. And I couldn't believe what I had done. I was so overwhelmed with just this feeling like, my God, this is so amazing. I had no intention of walking for my BSN. I was like, I'm going to walk for my master's. It's fine. I got done with this. And I was like, graduation ceremonies, graduation regalia. How do I find like, and I hit submit and I went and laid in my bed and I just cried. I could not believe that I had done this. And it felt big to me, but the response from so many people was, overwhelming in the best way. I have a dear friend who sent me a bouquet of roses that were giant, this giant bouquet, like came home and it was on the porch and I looked at my husband and I was like, Oh, did you get me flowers? And he was like, No, but I feel like a dick now. He's like, not for me. And I was like, Oh my God, you know, and and like I posted about it. And I had so many comments that were like, Oh my God, like, that's amazing. What an You reach out, you're like, hey, want to be on my cool podcast? And I was like, oh my gosh. And I just, I got all fired up again. have all of the feels and I have, I like forgot that I had a passion for learning. Like I have said forever and ever and ever that I could sit and listen to a lecture about labor and delivery or women's health all day. long. And it's true, I could. And, and then I got to just do it myself, right? Like, I, and I got to like, explore, it gave me the opportunity, I had to do some clinical hours. And I was like, I don't want to follow a hospice nurse, I don't want to follow a school nurse, maybe I could follow a midwife. And then I went, Oh, my God, Planned Parenthood. And I got to go to Planned Parenthood and do my clinical shadow hours there. And like, wow. my gosh, Eric, if I finally found the only other thing I could do with my life, which is Planned Parenthood, because I was so inspired and impressed by what they are doing there. And so anyway, I just, I, it has been so much more than I thought it was going to be. And in this last year, the growth that I have experienced, that like mind shift, that I have seen um and just that I can't, I got online after I graduated, I couldn't get to the library app at first. And I was sad because I was like, I wanna go, you know how you can save like the articles? I wanted to go open up my folder that I was like, I shoved, I had hundred articles for like all of my seven papers. But I was like, I was looking for something and I was like, that's not what I need. But I will read that later. And I was so sad because I was like, I can't get in. My mentor was like, no, no, no, you can. You have access to that for life. And I was like, then I was like, oh my god, who am I? Hey, what are? the Callie that I remember. Like, what is going on? This is Callie 2.0, ladies and gentlemen. Callie 2.0. So, this, I, oh my gosh. Like, the only thing I was gonna say about the Planned Parenthood thing is like, I mean, that, to me, I feel like that's full circle, right? You're talking about like, you originally thought about I'm gonna become a midwife, and then you didn't, and then now, but you're like, and then I get into Planned Parenthood, and like, what they're doing with these women, and all of, like, this is, and so empowering, and it like, All these things, what I love hearing, and this is why I was like, I have to get Callie in studio. A, because I already knew you, you your personality. But B, then you add to this like, this. It's like watching a fire, not that you were sure was gonna go out. I didn't ever think that about you. Yeah, good God, look at your hair, for the love of God. Your fire was never going out. But the idea that now watching these embers get blown back into, because you've experienced the fire before. You became a nurse. You passed the NCLEX, and like you said, you're like, great, I've achieved. I have these other dreams, but I don't need to worry about them now. I can do what I'm doing. And then life circumstances, as bad or as difficult or whatever, force Callie to go, okay, maybe I can revisit this. Maybe I can revisit this dream that I had. And then, and not only do you like jump through the hoop, but it's not only is the hoop now on fire, but you're the one that lit it on fire. You caught fire because of the hoop that's on fire. and now it's propelling you forward. with that, I'm looking at the time. We need more time with Callie. Callie, you okay if we do a second episode? Heck to the yeah. So you guys jump right into the second episode. Don't waste time. And I'm gonna tell you why, because I know it's coming down the pike, and she's got more to say about even this very subject, and why this is such an incredible victory for her, and then so many other things. So everyone, we'll catch you on the flip side.