136 - Daphne Roberts Pt 1: A Paper Cut and a SpongeBob Band-Aid

Join recent graduate and Bay Area, California and Phoenix, Arizona native Honored Guest Daphne Roberts as she discusses her inspirational grandparents, how a paper cut and a special band-aid got her into nursing, her love of emotional intelligence, wanting to transplant other students’ abilities into her own knowledge base, enjoying always having the opportunity to learn from someone else, looking forward to teaching others, her current and future nursing career path, getting used to night shift (and her practical advice for students doing the same), and more!

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to this episode of the Feeding Our Young® podcast. It is at the time of this recording, and I always debate whether or not to mention when we're recording these things, because it takes a while for them to come out. But it is June 10th in 2025, and at this time I live in the great city of Spokane, Washington. The temperature here has been disgusting. It has been 90, 91, 92 degrees, 21 degrees. Yesterday was 21 degrees above our average. for June 10th. So if you hear any fans in the background, guess what? We're not turning them off, because where Daphne's at is hot, where I'm at is hot for me, and we're just gonna make that happen. So I doubt you're gonna hear it, but just in case, I have to throw out that disclaimer. Also, without further ado, let's just bring our guest into studio, the one, the only, the amazing Daphne Roberts. Daphne, how are you, my friend? Hi, I'm good. How are you? I am great, especially now that I get to sit and talk with you. Like, this is not meant to embarrass you in any way, shape, or form. Daphne and I, I met her, well, when did I meet you? Last fall? Was it last fall? Even before that? I don't know. It was quite some time ago. It was last spring or something like that. Yeah. definitely want to be on the podcast. I'll get to you when I have time. you know, as nursing students do, they are busy getting about the business of, you know, passing and graduating and becoming nurses and things of that nature. And Daphne's like, I'm ready! And I said, oh, just so excited. I'm so excited. So, uh Daphne, with that. uh This isn't the first time your name has been mentioned on this podcast. Do you happen to recall your presence earlier in the podcast? And what was that if you recall correctly? With, well with Clémence. Yes. So if you haven't heard her episodes, this episode is about Daphne, not her, but please go back and listen to Clémence. She is a two-parter very early on. think her episodes are in the 20s. But the reason why I bring her up is because Daphne had something so sweet to say about her, and it was so nice and so lovely, and so Daphne was mentioned so long ago. But Daphne, what you don't know is that yesterday while sitting at my daughter's graduation, I shot a quick text to Clémence and said, hey, Clémence, ah wouldn't be kind of fun you don't have to do this but is there anything you want to say about Daphne because I get to sit with her tomorrow and she goes absolutely so if you don't mind we're gonna start off with a little praising of Daphne so here's what Clémence said about you she says tell her how lucky I was to be a small part of her nursing journey it came full circle for me that I could do the same thing for her that was done for me by another nurse when I was a student She's amazing with the kindest soul. That is what Clémence wanted me to share with you. So I love, I love that we get to just pull this back around however long later, because I think I sat with Clémence like almost a year ago, was like last July. Oh man, I love it, I love it. So, and she's not wrong. She's not wrong, you guys. Daphne does have the kindest soul, unless something's changed along the way. You don't have to admit it, but of course. can tell me after the podcast. We're about to find out exactly how Daphne, what becoming a nurse has done to her. Alright, on that note, I kind of let the cat out of the bag. You are already a nurse, so go ahead and let us know. Where did you graduate? What degrees do you hold? Where did you get them from? Yeah, so I graduated from Washington State University with my BSN. So I was in Spokane at that time. And since then, I passed my NCLEX, became a nurse, and I moved out to Phoenix. So I'm currently um working in an intermediate care unit. Oh my gosh, and also that's no small thing. She says, and I passed my NCLEX and now I'm da-da-da-da. We're gonna talk about that too. We're gonna circle back around to that. But, so you're in Arizona currently. Where do you consider home, Daphne? Home for me is Northern California. I'm from the Bay Area, originally born and raised, and then I moved to Washington just for college, spent some time on the West Side and the East Side, and then graduated, very briefly moved back to the West Side, and then to Northern California, and then straight to Phoenix. So it's been a very busy couple, well I guess six months now. Holy cow, we're in June. Well, so let me ask you this then. So, if home for you is Northern California, why Phoenix? Everybody loves to ask me that question. And the funny thing is that if you're from Washington, it's always like, my gosh, that's so great. You're moving to Phoenix. And if you're from California, it's my gosh, it's so hot over there. Are you sure you want to do that? But I've been so fortunate that a lot of my Washington native friends wanted to swap some rain for some sunshine. And so I have a very good group here. A lot of them happen to be nurses and it felt like a very natural transition. I'm very much interested in moving now while I kind of can get around to different states. I haven't really spent a ton of time in Arizona besides this, so for the plot, for fun. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. amazing. All right, so then having just recently gone through this process, what are the three words you chose to describe nursing school? I feel bad starting with this but the first one is absolutely daunting. Daunting, transformative, and humbling. All of those have positive and negative context so I feel like we'll dive into that later. uh I love it, I'm so intrigued. uh And I love that you like, I hate starting off with this one, but I mean you started off with it as opposed to ended with it, right? And lastly, it was daunting, it was just so horrible and that's all I'll remember. uh No, it's actually kind of funny. So at the time of this recording, I have the honor of speaking at my first, doing my um motivational speaking gig. with this podcast in Alabama and my wife and I fly out tomorrow. And so as part of that, I'm putting together the presentation, doing all the things and what I've been wanting to do, one of the extras on my list that I've never been able to get to until now has been to go through like everybody's three words, everybody's one piece of advice, uh now over 90 Honored Guests' worth. And daunting is right up there. uh The number one word, well, I'm not gonna give out the number one word right now. That's part of like uh what I talk about. But it's right along those lines, everybody, no surprise. But what surprised me was that just equally as much is how people refer to it as being rewarding and fulfilling. And so it goes hand in hand, and usually the things that are the most challenging, most difficult, most daunting, are those things that reward us the most. Would you agree? Yeah. All right, well, OK, I'm already, diving into the meat of the episode here. uh What are your three favorite songs in life right now? This was the hardest question ever. I need you to know that this was the thing I had to think the most about and I don't feel like I have a good answer for you just because it changes. But I will say three right now, I'm going to go with Starting Over by Chris Stapleton, Follow You to Virgie by Tyler Childers, which I just saw him in concert two days ago, which was amazing. um And Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles. And that one in particular. I listen to all the time when I would go to and from my anatomy lab. um It's the only song I listen to because it was the only thing that kind of brought me peace walking to this lab. And I was like, my gosh, this is about to be the worst two hours of my life. But that song grounded me a little bit. And it's been just enough time to where I can actually start listening to it again and not getting like a stress response when I hear it. So that's great. That is fascinating to me that you mention that, like, because I've often wondered, you know, this song obviously had a calming effect for you, but on the flip side, then when you're done with whatever it is you needed the calming in, you're like, it's bringing me right back to why I played it. uh I've said before, there's an artist named Dos Brains, uh mostly kind of like that motivational, like trailer, movie trailer type music. and I used that to power through my master's degree. just motivational, like, oh yeah, let's go, let's do it, and I'm writing, and I'm doing all the things. And now it's like, it took a while, like exactly what you said, Daphne. I go to play it when I was done with my master's degree, and I'm like, nah, no, no, I can't, yeah. I'm coming back around though, it's like you said, now it's acceptable again, yes? uh crossing that bridge. I love it. I love it. Okay, so the one last thing for you is our uh patent not pending, unofficial, feeding our young personality test. You have been warned about this but not prepared. Is that correct? All right. Five questions. You can answer them rapid fire or you can give rationale if you feel compelled. But here they are. This one's most appropriate based on where I'm going tomorrow. Isle seat or window seat? my gosh, window. Always. I like to see where I'm at. I knew we were kindred spirits. Second question, would you rather never be able to go out during the day or never be able to go out during the night? I feel like I'm living that right now as a nightshifter. I feel like that's actually my reality. Definitely never be able to go out during the night. Awesome. Would you rather lose the ability to lie or believe everything you're told? um I don't want to be gullible, but I don't mean Well, I don't I don't I'm not a liar so I don't want to believe everything I'm There we go. Would you rather never have to wait in line or always have a parking spot? my gosh, you know, I would say parking spot, lately I've been trying to park at the back of parking lots to get some extra steps in and try to force myself to slow down. So I'm gonna say never wait in line. That's awesome! And the last one, one of my favorites, would you rather have one wish granted today, with the caveat of course you can't wish for more wishes, or 10 wishes granted 20 years from now? Oh gosh. 20... 10 years from now. Because... Just because I feel like I'm gonna have a lot more insight as to what that actually needs to be. I think in my 20s right now I know I'm supposed to struggle a little bit. I'm due for a little bit more character development. So it's okay. I don't need themselves right now. Alright, that's one of the best answers I've heard to that question yet. Awesome. Well, the results are in and if you didn't know already, you are outstanding. Congratulations. Yay. Alright, enough with the fun. Let's dive into the meat and potatoes of the matter. And by meat and potatoes, we're going to start off by the absolute bare minimum of that, which would just be now that you have free time, and maybe while you were in nursing school, What are your favorite hobbies? What are the things you like to do to keep you sane? Hmm, I love to do everything outdoors. So I love hiking, paddle boarding, camping, and all that stuff, but I also really like art, but outside. So if I'm gonna draw or I'm gonna paint, I wanna do it outside. I also like baking. But of course now in Phoenix, all those things, I'm trying to figure out how to do that in the heat. It's 10 a.m. and it's 100 degrees outside, so we're... Uuuhh... adjusting. I think I'm gonna find some new hobbies in the next weeks because I have to. ah So I'll let you know, you can ask me again. I'll probably have an entirely different set. Yeah, exactly. Sitting inside. Drinking ice drinks. Right. Yeah. So then the following question, which I loved your answer to, but ah who or what inspires you most in life? Such a good question. My grandparents, they are my favorite people on this planet. I love them so much. When I moved back to Northern California, I moved in with them just to spend more time with them. um But they are also just two of the smartest people I know. My grandma has her PhD in English and my grandpa is an MD m and they've spent their entire lives, continue to spend their lives just learning everything. em They are have their nose in the books every single day and I've quite literally never left a conversation where I did not learn something new. And that doesn't mean something relevant to their expertise, anything. My grandpa, the last time I saw gave me a seven step how to perfectly cook a hard-boiled egg and I'm not kidding like there's never a moment with them and I just think it really instilled such a love for learning and as a nurse being a lifelong learner that's obviously a big part of the job and that feels like such a privilege to me so to see two people who not only love what they do but continue to love it I mean my grandpa's in the 92 and he's still working I don't know if they will ever retire or not because they, you know, want to have a job but they just are so passionate about what they do. And I think regardless of what it is, I mean my grandpa's in medicine but I don't think it was him being a doctor that made me want to go into nursing. It's him and my grandmother being so passionate about what they do and learning and having that kind of be a lifelong thing that brought me towards nursing more so than anything. They're wonderful. it makes me want to be like them when I grow up, if I grow up. Well, with that then, I mean, this is a nice natural segue then into, because I imagine that that role model for you, those role models, inform who you are going to be and who you are forming yourself to be as a nurse currently. So that leads to the question, why nursing? I have such a silly answer for this, and it does tie to my grandpa. And I have to say it, I feel like I have to, you already read it in my little notes. have to and I'm gonna tell you why, because it is legit. I read that and I'm like, there's the title of her episode. Done. You made my job easy, I'm telling you, right now. I love this. It's so real though. This sounds so fake, but I promise you know how you have those core memories when you're little that are just clear as day in your mind? This is one of them. I like to attribute my first interest into like medicine or like curiosity with like how the body heals to a paper cut and a spongebob bandaid. Literally spongebob bandaid specifically. uh And again, I know that sounds so silly, but when I was little, I got a paper cut and I'm just on the floor probably bawling my eyes out. Completely a mess. And my grandpa who is again the most wonderful man in the world, hates cartoons. He's very serious. I don't know why he's the funniest, most lighthearted man in the world, but like cartoons and him do not mix. I'm not really sure what happened there. And he immediately came to me with a band-aid, but it was a SpongeBob band-aid. And the significance of that was my grandpa, who didn't care for cartoons. didn't know who that was, but was able to recognize this is a crying child and even though their paper cut is gonna be fine, they probably don't even need the band-aid. Here's a way to fix the problem and to do it addressing my specific needs. uh And so, again, cheesy, but he taught me a very valuable lesson that a little paper cut is not life threatening. but a little empathy can be life changing. And so when I got older, I became very passionate about emotional intelligence. When I participated in leadership in all these classes, I ended up teaching seminars on it to the districts and it just became a very big thing in my life. And then I also simultaneously was really interested in science, really interested in anatomy and physiology and nursing as a career very uniquely. bridges those gaps. think it just made a whole lot of sense for the direction I wanted to go in. My two greatest passions and the things I wanted to continue learning about for life just happened to be in the same career. So it just felt like a very uh sure thing for me. Don't ever discount that story because now it's fantastic. Like, and I love the fact that someone's like, well, man, how did you become a nurse? And you could just be like a paper cut. Yeah, and I've said that. That's always been my answer and I just someday I'm gonna have to stop but it's true. It's very true. I don't have a better answer. I could lie and make one up but that's not fun. No, that's, and again, sitting with so many people and I don't like comparing, you know what mean, Honored Guests with other Honored Guests and all the things, because everybody brings their uniqueness, what makes them them, to the story, to the podcast, to this whole movement. And yet, I have yet to hear a story about someone becoming a nurse because of a paper cut. And I've got people that are like, you know what? It was the most convenient thing and that's what I tried and it was the best career choice ever. I've got others that have these, you know, deep emotional stories and it's just, it runs the gamut. I didn't grow up wanting to be a nurse. And so just the fact that this paper cut and this SpongeBob Band-Aid got you into nursing and I'm grateful for that because it means I got to meet you. But also I can guarantee it that all of your patients and your future patients are going to be just as grateful for that evil piece of paper. oh Well, that is amazing. So you have chosen nursing. You go to nursing school. Let's talk about that for a minute. What do you love most about nursing school? excuse me, what did you love most about nursing school now that you're done? I know, but you're done and that's a huge distinction. Yeah. think that's the biggest myth. I wake up every day somehow and like, I don't know how I'm an RN. It just happened. Nursing school though, I will say, as you know, daunting and humbling as it may be, I... think it is so cool how much growth and potential for growth there is. You learn so much in a short amount of time and I started nursing school looking at the people a of semesters ahead of me thinking, oh my gosh, I cannot wait until I have what's in their brain. Like I just wanted to transplant it into my own knowledge base, you know? That is so cool. There are only a couple semesters ahead of me, but they already know so much. They're already able to do IVs. They can do Engie tubes, they can do all these cool things. I couldn't believe that. I said, no way that's gonna be me in a couple months, but I'm so excited for it. And then you start clinicals and you start working in hospitals. If you have the opportunity to be a nurse tech or work in that kind of area, everything is incrementally, my gosh, I can't wait until I'm like this person. And then one day you wake up and you are that person. And it's so cool that that is not unique. to your first semester, your second, it's your entire life as a nurse. And I cannot wait for the day 20 years from now where I'm gonna be precepting a student and they're gonna teach me something new. Because procedures and policies change all the time. Literally, my goodness, in my new grad program, things change day to day, week to week. So you have to be really aware of how that evolves. And I think it is so cool that I will always have the opportunity. to learn from somebody else in nursing school and that as a nursing student, you do have the capability to be a teacher in some aspects. And that's not something to kind of forget about. Like you serve an important role in their job and in their life. And as a preceptor that day, like you are giving something to them, even if it doesn't feel like you're helping them at all, even if it doesn't feel like you're doing anything, like you are giving them insight and. You can teach them something new. It happens. And you don't know what's going to happen because you'll probably just assume, they already know this, whatever. I promise you they don't. lot of, and I understand, I do understand that, you know, things are different in practice versus when they teach you in school. I get that entirely, but there are some things where it's like, wow, we really should, there are better ways to do it. And you as a student have the opportunity. doesn't mean you have to say, hey, you're doing this wrong. Here's how you need to do it better. But. You can lead by example in your own way. And so when you do these tasks and you do them differently, even if it's just a more convenient way to do something, you're going to be teaching them. So I can't wait to learn from those students. That's just the coolest thing to think about. And that's what I love about your heart. Like you're already, you are, you just passed the NCLEX. You just graduated. You're in, I'm assuming, still orientation, right? Yeah, so you're still being oriented on your, in your current role. And you're like, I can't wait for 20 years from now when I'm learning from my students. Like you have that timeline, that long-term view um that I think so often gets lost, especially when you're in nursing school. And it's do this task and make sure that this intervention is done by the, you know what mean? You're practicing in lab and you gotta make sure you hit all the points. So you get very focused on the minutia as a nursing student and as a new grad. And you get wrapped up in tasks. You get wrapped up in, okay, I have to do this correctly. And you're so worried about that that sometimes what gets lost on the wayside is. how you're interacting with your patient or just those general like, hi, my name is Eric and I'm gonna be taking care of you today. How are you feeling? You know what I mean? All those things. Daphne, I just love that. And so it'll be great because then as you are learning things from your students in 20 years and you'll have your, what was it, 10 wishes? It's gonna be fantastic. I can't wait for Daphne 20 years from now. uh ah So then, before we circle back around to some other discussions there, under the guise of nursing, where are you practicing now, what field are you practicing in, and where do you see yourself going in the future? Yeah, so currently I am working on an intermediate care unit. It used to be like a PCCU, now transitioning more towards ICU step down. As you know, Eric, we work together in OB that I have such a, my goodness, I love OB. Long-term, I see myself there. think that's probably, if there was an opportunity to start an OB as a new grad in Arizona, I probably would have taken that path. But I'm- Honestly, very very grateful to be where I'm at right now. I've always had interest in critical care Which very different worlds even just being in like on the adult side versus the NICU Which I've you know worked previously and so to be in an area that's obviously not the ICU but still has those critical more critical patients and that different ratio is such a cool experience to kind of test the waters of where do I want to go next? Do I want to continue down this path? Do I want to go to OB? So I'm honestly thrilled to be where I am right now. Long term, again, I love OB. It's just, I feel so biased because when I was in nursing school and, you know, I was figuring out, okay, what do I want to do? Da da. My first day I walked into. our floor and I was like, oh my gosh, the clouds just parted. A hummingbird just landed on my shoulder. Someone's like singing in a corner. This is like the best place I've ever been. I couldn't believe it. This is insane. And I've always felt that way and I probably will continue to feel that way. um But I also think nursing as a field is so, we are so lucky to be so flexible in where you go. And so just as I'm kind of open to moving geographically, I'm very open to like moving. fields, if that makes sense. I was talking with my very good friend who's also a new grad hired onto my unit and she's dead set on being, you know, in the NICU or going to OB as well, but we were shocked at how much we love our unit and then, As a morning person, I thought night shift would be absolutely horrible, but it's actually been really good. A proper sleep mask is apparently the most life-changing thing that could ever happen to you, specifically one that is for... people who have lash extensions, because it's raised a little bit. I personally don't have lash extensions, but I'm telling you, you can wake up in the middle of the night or middle of the day. You could wake up at 2 p.m., open your eyes comfortably, and it will still be pitch black. So that is my recommendation, because in my apartment, I can't hang blackout curtains. So that has seriously changed my life, and it's been very good, shockingly. I thought it was going to be so bad. let's go on this tangent then, because we were talking about your job, and then you're talking about night shift, you know what mean, and getting used to these new things. So then what other advice, if any, do you have for nursing students, new grads, about working night shifts specifically? night shift specifically. I am, when I say I'm a morning person, I mean I would wake up, I would have a nine to five, like wake up at five, go to bed at nine every single day if I could. But if you give it a shot. and really try. It's not, not anything like I thought it would be. The shifts themselves go by, I think, way faster during the night, which is shocking because I know some people might have the idea that it's slower on nights. I've always been super, super busy personally, but it passes by so fast. em Snacks are more fun on nights, I think, em because I just bring a ton of everything and it's less focused on having a set like... meal if that makes sense. like during the day I'm like holy cow how can I pack as much protein into this bowl so I can be you know sustained but on nights it's so much easier to bring so many different snacks to keep you going through the night and I think the adrenaline really helps because I don't drink caffeine during my shifts at all and I just can't even believe I'm saying that because I drink coffee every single day otherwise. So I don't know what it is. I think I'm... I don't know. It just worked out really well. I can't explain it. think the sleeping mask is so big, one that you can open your eyes so that you can fall back asleep comfortably if you happen to wake up. And then flipping, I always like to wake myself up at noon. once I flip back. Just because I am a morning day person, I hate wasting the time that this is like, it's my day off, but I don't want to sleep through it. You know what I mean? So I always wake up right at 12 and try to keep myself up as late as possible. But yeah, for the nights before, I just try to stay up. I try to stay up as late as I can. I've been better at it now. My friend who's also a new grad is so funny. She texts me before every shift. And this past week she said, I'm heading to the movie theater right now. I need to stay up. I'm seeing the new Mission Impossible movie. It's like 9 p.m. She's like, it's not going to happen otherwise. I'm working tomorrow and I need to sleep. So finding nighttime activities to keep you occupied before. I always like to knock out all my laundry, any cleaning I need to do. It's an activity you can do at home. It'll keep you up or at least give you something to do during that time. sleep in the next day if you can and then I like to take another nap a couple hours before. So you're still getting a long stretch of sleep and then a good if you can like three hour nap before your shift. Beautiful. Oh, I love it and I love that you're talking about those practical things because I'm you know now I'm I'm almost a year and a half into my day shift career always was always gonna be a lifelong nightshifter, but I For practicum students news to anyone working nights, you know So it was always like hey have you done this before and they'd always ask for advice and I'm like you fall into one of two camps as a nightshifter you are either the You're kind of a blend of both. But but typically what I see is people are either very much a napper So they'll just wake up at the normal time, seven in the morning, whatever, and then they nap in the afternoon before they go, and then they struggle through their first shift and then they're flipped. And I was not that way. I have never been a napper. I hate naps. And so as I'm getting older, I'm sure that will change, but in the meantime, I'm not old enough yet. So for me, that's what I did. Same thing, staying up as late as you can that night before, and I love that you talk about... do activities that keep you awake. There were some nights where I'm like, all I have to do is watch shows, which is great. And so I'd start and then you find yourself waking up at two in the morning going, what happened there? ah And so when my mother taught me how to cross-stitch, for me, that worked. I would watch things, things that I don't necessarily need to keep eyeballs on, but I'm looking down at my canvas, I'm cross-stitching, my hands are busy, my brain is thinking, and that would keep me up. uh My buddy John in the United Kingdom, we'd play VR together, know, miniature golf. Because eight hours apart, I'm going into his day, you know what I mean? And so I miss those sessions being a day shifter now because I don't have those moments where at midnight my time, 8 a.m. his time, you know what mean, 1 a.m. my time, 9 a.m. his time, we could do stuff. And so you find those activities, like Daphne and I are saying, that keep you awake. Do your laundry, do the things, and do the best you can. And there were some days I made it only till 2.30, but most of the time I could make it pretty much till about 4 4.30. And if I, yeah, and if I was hyper, I could go till five, but that usually was, I knew I was pushing it then. But it's, I feel like it's a more natural progression to do that. Because you're, you know what I mean? You stay up till 10, 11, 12, one night, and then the night before, if you can push it to two, three, four. Mm-hmm. next day, you know, then you're staying up till seven, eight, or whatever your normal shift end time is in the morning, Daphne, I'm looking at the time. This won't take too much time. I'm honoring your time commitment, but on the same token, I'm looking at your time, and it looks like I know you have a lot more to say, seeing what you've sent me and the other questions I wanna ask you. Are we okay if we, on the spot, turn you into a double episode? uh No! No, no, no! And that's not even a... This isn't a dig against Daphne! I love... You have brought... You're bringing forth the wisdom and the excitement and the heart. Let's just capture your bottle and let's jump to the part two of the Daphne experience! I'm like... She's going, I am not throwing you into the bus, I promise! Alright, so you ready to go? We'll go... We'll catch you on the flip side then.