137 - Daphne Roberts Pt 2: The Little In-Between Things

Continue with recent graduate and Bay Area, California and Phoenix, Arizona native Honored Guest Daphne Roberts as she discusses her experience taking the NCLEX (and her advice for students), her recommendations regarding how long to wait to take the NCLEX and/or find a job, her recommendation to work as a nurse tech during school if possible, focusing on the “little in-between things,” finding a unit/facility that matches the culture that you're looking for, the importance of kindness, understanding it’s okay to mess up, giving yourself grace, self-advocacy, laughing off embarrassment, and more!

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Transcript

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Welcome back to part two of the Daphne Roberts Experience. Daphne, welcome back, how are you? I'm doing, I know, like what's new? What's new in your world? You've probably gone up from 100 degrees to 102, I'm sure. Oh! degrees now, so thank you. Thank you for that. oh my gosh. So Daphne, you brought some incredible wisdom. love, we kind of ended on some practical advice for nightshifters. ah So anyone who's for whatever reason stumbled upon the second episode and haven't listened to the first, go back and listen to it. We get to find out. Daphne's amazing. And I am going to say inspirational story on why she became a nurse, because it is, it is very inspirational. Even though it starts with an evil piece of paper. So there's that. uh But otherwise, go back, listen to that episode because we're now going to, know that Daphne has a few more things that she would love to say. I've got some questions percolating in this old blonde brain of mine as well. So we'll open it up with a couple soft questions though. starting with, for example, you've already talked about the role that your grandparents have played in your life. Is there anything else, do you want to share about your family that you think they're okay with you sharing? Who is your family? Where are you? Are you the only child? What do you want to share? Yeah, I am not an only child. I have five brothers. So there's a there's a there's a few of us. I'm the only daughter. I'll say that. Yeah. So we are all originally from California. Three them are my stepbrothers. And so we are very close in age. I like to say that there's two sets of twins, even though we're like technically step siblings, but we're so close in age, it kind of works. But Right now, see it's hard for me to even keep track of this, the six of us bounce back and forth between California and Washington so frequently that it's hard for me to remember who's where in what city. em But currently there are three of my brothers in Washington and two of them in Northern California at home. Which is funny because they quite literally just move back and forth. They flip cities, whether for school or for a job or for whatever reason. So it's very, you know, ask me again in six months and it's probably going to be a different answer. Um, but yeah, so we have a nice little group. They're all great. And, um, I, I'm going to look forward to when I have a sister eventually, but for now they're wonderful. Well, and it sounds like a few of them are very nomadic and maybe not quite planting the roots down in places. Yeah. think is so, it lets me live through them and also makes me want to kind of move around. It's very funny. Some of them are home bodies and some of them just, you know, different place every week. But just super cool. I like to think that there's kind of like a spectrum of our personalities and I'm very much in the middle of all of them. So it's cool. We're all very different, but we get along super well. So it's great. awesome. That's awesome. And where do you, like I know you said step-siblings, but where do you fall age-wise? Are you kind of the youngest, the oldest, or somewhere in the middle? am the second to youngest, so yes, four older than me, one younger. Right, right, right. I can refer to you as Princess Daphne moving forward if you want. I'm just... uh Alright. So with that, let's dive back into the practical things, because I really love your take on practical things. let me ask first. So being a new grad and still being in orientation and just having sat for the NCLEX, what I love to ask my new NCLEX passers is exactly that. How was your experience and what advice do you have for students who are dreading that evil beast of a test? Yeah, I think the NCLEX, I want to say it's always going to be scary just because that's the nature of the test, but it doesn't have to be. Most of my friends, I think, would agree that there's so much build up to the NCLEX and then you take it and you're like, what the heck was that? would it, you know, regardless if you pass or you don't, like, what did I just take? You know, I don't really understand how my two years of nursing school and studying kind of somehow. translated to this being the benchmark, but here it is. em So I think, well, of course, and then there are people who are like, no, it's so easy. know, NCLEX is no sweat at all. Don't even worry about it. And they say that beforehand and then they pass first try and it's great. So maybe you're one of those people, if you are, fantastic. I wasn't, I was super nervous. I studied a lot using Archer. I don't know if you've tried that, but. um If you buy like a longer pass, my friend and I use the same account. because her NCLEX was before mine so we got two uses out of the same subscription so that was really good. I think practice questions are really really really helpful. I know there's a bunch of like online quizzes you can look up for free but if you're able to find something that has multiple choice questions or case studies that uh gives you the rationale for every answer and you actually read them and go through them that's what's going be the most helpful because my experience was a lot of questions on medications that I just, you you don't, you have no idea what they're talking about. But if you can say, okay, I remember a drug that sounded kind of similar to that, maybe it has the same prefix or something. And they said it was about, you know, gout or whatever, you know, you can kind of make those connections in that way. um I feel very lucky to have passed on my first try, but I will say I hovered at question 84. I sat there probably for good seven minutes just staring at my screen, knowing that, okay, it's either I'm done after this or question 85. I'm either done after this or I need to mentally really prep myself to get through this. And I was telling myself, okay, you're gonna grind through these next hundred questions or whatever it was. It's gonna be great. doesn't matter if you have to go a long time. And I sat there for so long and I finally slept and then my screen went blank and I was done and I guess I passed. But what I think a lot of people don't tell you is that if you get a certain number of case studies, that probably means you're doing really well. And that if you're getting those a bunch more than like I actually don't, don't quote me because I don't even remember. It was so long ago, obviously, while I was- So long ago, I can't even remember. but like- information on top of... You've passed the test, and now you're like, okay, now we're building the career base, so... Right. So, but there are benchmarks to kind of gauge how you're doing throughout the test, which for me really eased my anxiety because I keep mentioning my friends. One of my best friends who went through the WC nursing program as well, same time as me, took her test a couple weeks before and she's phenomenal. She's very smart. She studied so hard. She worked so hard for everything and she passed. But I talked to her afterwards and I was like, well, the one thing that made me feel relieved is that I got this many case studies and in this question, or like, I was kind of able to gauge how I was doing, the questions were getting harder, even if they didn't feel like the questions made a whole lot of sense, the complexity of them increased, which made me feel like, okay, maybe, maybe I'm doing better. And she had no idea that was a thing. And so she said she was sitting. like a nervous wreck for those 40 hours afterwards, even though she told me afterwards, she's like, I had seven case studies and all this stuff and it shut off at 85. And I'm like, of course you, of course you did so good. And of course you passed. So um if you're able to familiarize yourself with the format of the test and kind of be able to gauge how you're doing during the test, and that way you either know, okay, even if it doesn't feel like I'm getting them right, I am, or Okay, I need to get up, go get some goldfish, take a lap around the little area I'm in and then sit back down because a lot of it... I don't know if I'm crazy, but I feel like the NCLEX didn't really make that much sense. You know, the questions were very, very weird and I think most people feel that way. So it almost felt like there's not a lot you can do to prepare for it, but practice questions help a lot. So I think that would be, and the Mark K lectures. I feel like every nursing student listens to the, you can listen to them on YouTube. Those ones are so helpful. You can also find a PDF version online. you Google it, read through those, make notes on that, for sure. And that's very helpful. so let me, I want to validate what you just said, but before I do, how, because the other question that a lot of students ask are how long did you wait between graduation and sitting for the exam? Oh, so I actually, I didn't have much of an option. Well, okay, I had to wait until January 29th to take my test, which I graduated December 6th. And in Spokane, I was already in California at that point. And that was just the only option for the testing centers I had. So I would have liked to take it sooner. I know that some of my friends in Spokane took it January 3rd, which is very soon. just under a month. yeah. And so I think if you are ready to, the second you graduate, to sit down, study for, you know, a couple weeks or whatever, and you have it fresh in your mind, do it, if you can. I felt like waiting till the end of January was the longest month of my life because I knew I had to study and I felt like I was losing information while simultaneously trying to cram so much in and it was just not really... Like the balance, it just depended on the day. know, so by the time I actually took it, I was like, well, I don't know. I spent, you know, almost two months doing this. If I don't pass this time, I don't really know what I'm going to do otherwise. So I would take it. Give yourself a couple of weeks. Give yourself at least a couple of days a week to just breathe after graduation. But if you're able to schedule it. closer, I wouldn't do it like a week after you graduate if that's even an option, but a month or so I think is a really happy medium just so you have time to give yourself a proper pat on the back for graduating nursing school, study and get it over with. And plus if you don't pass the first time, which is totally normal, totally okay, so many people retake the test, just do it if you do it little earlier, then you have more time to take it later. If it doesn't work out the first time, that's so okay. Also, the timeline of you starting a job and graduating is so different from everyone. And I struggled with that so bad because I started my job. I started my job in April and I graduated in December. And when I was in school, by December, everyone already had their jobs lined up and they were ready to go. Middle of January, February. And that does not have to be your timeline. and I freaked out so bad during that time because I thought somehow in between those couple of months all the jobs would be gone no one would want to hire me it wouldn't work out every spot would be full already and that is just not the case even if it doesn't feel like it even if you're having a hard time getting interviews I promise like jobs are there and that is not just because that's your neighbor's timeline does not mean it has to be your timeline and if it's that stressful and it's freaking you out that bad like all you need to do is focus on studying and getting a job you know but you have time like those are your objectives that don't need to be completed by tomorrow and if you get your license before you get your job that's that's the way i did that's what a lot of people do it also varies so much by state and washington it's so different a lot of people have their job two, three months before they started. In Arizona, you will not get an interview unless you're ready to start two weeks from that interview. So it's just very, very different timelines and it feels crazy if you're specifically going to WSU or wherever you may be. So not, you don't have to mirror your neighbor. It's okay to take some time and I didn't feel that way and I even had so many people telling me like, it will be okay. You will get a job. Like it will happen when it happens and I just thought you guys are all lying to me. This is terrible. You know, it's never gonna work out and it does and it's so worth it as well to get a job that you actually are interested in. and that you actually like your manager and you feel like there is a good culture rather than, my gosh, if I don't get a job tomorrow, I'm gonna freak out, I'm gonna go with the first place that I get an interview at. Which, you know, things happen, it's not a bad thing to hate your job the first place you go. You can move around. But if you give yourself the grace of knowing, okay, I have at least... or two or a couple months or wherever it may be. I know everyone's situation is different but really try to give yourself some grace there because I am so thankful for the unit that I work on now and that I got to choose the place I wanted to work and I got to choose the people I got to work with versus you know I didn't get a job in Arizona immediately and the first like if I didn't have it lined up before graduation I'm not moving anywhere I'm not doing anything else you know I feel very, very privileged to be in the situation I'm in, but it's also not possible without giving yourself a little bit of grace and allow yourself to actually have the time to do that, even if it's a month, you know. That is excellent advice, because also, the other thing to think about is once you get that job, you're going to be working a lot. ah I mean, more than likely. And so take that time to travel, to breathe, to decompress from the experience that has been the last two, four years of your life. you know what I mean? Really enjoy that, because then you dive in and get to really, you know. Learn your new job, learn your new, every aspect of what it is that you are going to be diving head first into. uh And if you are the type of person who's like, no, I just gotta keep the motor running, great, we're not telling you not to. But it is okay, Daphne, I love that you give that permission to say, it's okay to breathe, it's okay to do that. um Circling back to your NCLEX and what you're talking about there, I just have to validate exactly what you said because I distinctly, and again, I took it, many years ago. Obviously it's changed a few times over since then, but yet the core principles remain the same. And I remember coming out of that and it was like, I don't know what drugs we studied in nursing school because these are drugs they give to Martians. We've never heard of them before, but it is what you said. Like it's like, okay, wait a second, but all right, this does sound like, and this is an-alol or this is okay. And you can still kind of critically think your way through. It's, I don't know how they do it. I don't know how they do it. And it is also conversely the test, and this is what I tell everybody, is the one test you leave going, okay, I wasted two to four years of my life. You told me that! I remember you telling me that! Yes! I remember that! It's legit and you're just like... There were 8 to 12 of us at lunch after taking the exam because we all sat for it together and we all around the table was like, well, I'm going to go back to doing medical records. What are you guys doing? You know, it's just like, just feel gross. 85 questions or not. Mm-hmm. It makes you feel like you failed regardless of how well you did and that's just kind of the nature of the test But it's it's I feel like maybe it's bringing out, you know those spider senses that nurses always talk about It's bringing out those senses that maybe you don't realize you fully have but there's something in you saying ah I feel like this is C I don't know why I could not give you a single reason why but I feel like it's this I Think that's really what it's gauging I think you're right. that you don't understand and then they know that somehow, I don't know. Oh, don't even, I can't even imagine what it's like to be one of the test writers, right? Like these people who sit on committees and write the, no, no thank you. It's not fun taking it. I don't want to be the kind that has to turn around and then write for it, forget that. So awesome. Thank you for that practical advice, Daphne. You pass the NCLEX, you feel horrible about it, or then you celebrate when you find out that it really is a thing. Now, before that though, and before you start your new job, you kind of have a chance to work on the job while in school. Nurse teching, and I know you want to say something towards that. uh So describe, you've already mentioned where you worked, or that's kind of how we got to know you. But what would you say about the nurse tech program if it's available in somebody's area? Yes, if you have the ability to become a nurse tech, I could not recommend anything more in my life. In Arizona, that's not a thing. They had no idea what nurse techs were. They were very confused by it. uh But the consensus was, wow, you were so lucky to have been able to do all of that while you're in school. So if you're in a place where you can be a nurse tech, and a nurse tech is a program or position. slash program designed for somebody who's in nursing school that can work, choose your hours, work in a hospital. You get to kind of put preferences in for the type of unit you want to work in. And then as you progress through the program and as you get skills checked off, you get to start putting those skills into practice in a hospital setting as an employee around nurses and whoever. So I told my manager every single time I saw her, this has been. The best opportunity. Thank you so much because even if you have the worst day and you're running around, my goodness, I cannot begin to explain how much experience that gives you moving into nursing school. Any sort of clinical experience is great. All right, sorry, moving into practice is what I mean. um Because all of those opportunities, not only when I got to practice my skills, but just got to talk to patients. When I went to interview for nursing jobs, I talked about all of the little in-between things, the stuff that you probably don't think matter, getting fresh ice for a patient, getting them a warm blanket, talking them down when they're hysterical, sitting down with them being eye level, and having those really meaningful interactions. That's the stuff that I talked about in my interviews that they came back later and were like, wow, I really appreciated that story. And it was literally just me getting ice for somebody or tea or whatever and having a conversation. Those experiences are kind of all a part of the opportunities you try to make for yourself. So if you can become a nurse tech and you can seek out those opportunities, the thing about a nurse tech is that you really can make the experience whatever you want it to be. So if you want to, you know, just do skills or you just want to stock things or you just want to do whatever you can, but I just encourage nursing students. to take the opportunity to have the small moments with patients, the small, gentle, quiet moments where you recognize them as a human and really connect with them on an emotional level because your nurses are so busy and it is so easy to be distracted running around, doing everything else, just making sure you're checking off the boxes, making sure you're getting them their meds. And you have such a unique opportunity to slow down and really appreciate those things so that when you do become a nurse, it's still on your radar. So even when you're busy, you kind of know not to just go autopilot and skip all those things. And so take advantage of the time being a student. I'm doing that as an orienteer. I'm taking advantage of all the opportunities to ask all my silly questions, take my time with the patients, and really make it a human connection instead of just a check mark. And I think a nurse tech or any, I've PCT, CNA, any kind of interaction like that is so, so, so, valuable. And I think it's really important to recognize it as such. Mm-hmm. love it. I absolutely love it, Daphne, because that is and it's it's come up on this podcast before again anything that ends up getting repeated man It's important listen to it. If you're a longtime listener great You've heard something along that effect before if you haven't heard any other episode Take what she just said and run with it. We've had a nurse manager even say, you know what like and We're the University I teach at they do you know, kind of this hiring uh interview, mock interviewing basically, kind of a speed dating style. It's really fun. But the idea is that uh what managers tend to say there is that, yeah, we know that we can teach you, even if you weren't the best at it in nursing school, how to put in a foley, how to drop an NG tube, how to do the interventions, how to pass meds, how to organize, how to stay on task and task oriented. But what they need to know is that there's a human being in there that cares about other human beings. And how do you care for the people in your care? uh It's just, that's the piece that they wanna hear from you. uh On top of the other things, no pressure. But the idea is that your heart behind the, what makes you uniquely you and what you're going to bring to the nursing profession, that's what they wanna hear on an interview. ah And those are the stories, like you said. man. So let's jump forward again in the timeline. You're transitioning to practice. I love how you talk about how those things you did as a nurse tech and in nursing school have now informed kind of your transition into practice. And I know this is a subject that you're passionate about, especially being so fresh, so new. Talk to us about some of those things that you want to share about transitioning into practice as a new grad. Yeah, like I said, finding a unit that really matches the culture that you're looking for is so important. And those kinds of interactions, those stories are what I talked about in my interview. um And I hate talking about myself in this way, but I just want to say that my first day on the job, I had my break. went over to my manager's office just to, you know, say hi again, thank you so much, thrilled to be here, et cetera, et cetera. And she said to me, Daphne, like you were so kind in your. and that was like the standout thing about it and that, my gosh, that was like the biggest yes ever because in nursing school or even before nursing school, I always thought, okay, the best nurses are the nice nurses, nurses that are compassionate and patient and kind. That is like the best thing you can be as a nurse. And then I went to nursing school and I was like, holy cow, I'm being paired with these nurses that are like the best nurses ever. They've been here for three, decades they know everything about everyone you can trust them with absolutely anything and they are so mean you know they're just not very kind and then I would think my gosh is this the prototype I'm trying to follow like to be a good nurse I have to be all of these things and I was like holy cow I'm not cut out to be this director this confrontational or this whatever like I I don't think that's something I can really adhere to but they're so good and everyone loves how good they are at all these things and then to go to a unit where my manager the first thing she because we're so kind and that's why we wanted you to be on our unit, was like, my gosh, thank goodness. Like I knew these people exist. And I think working with people like you, Eric, my gosh, was the first, one of the first times I was like, wow, people really enjoy their jobs so they can. And even if you are having the worst day, even if you're running around, you were still so kind to me as your coworker, to your patients, to yourself, and not because... okay you have to because you're work and you're trying to be like no like that is just who you are you know and so people like that really exist and so transitioning to practice I can't encourage people enough to ask about culture and to ask about you know how your managers and these you know leadership how they deal with certain problems the resources they have for new grads how they respond to you asking certain questions and whatnot and I feel so grateful now in my job because It is so important as a new grad for you to feel safe asking these questions and for you to feel okay admitting that you don't know something because it is way safer to say, hey, I'm not familiar with this or I'm not really sure. Can you please like refresh my memory or please like give me a hand or whatever instead of just assuming and then you're in a position where you're causing patient harm. So being okay with Everything you don't know and actually being aware of your weaknesses I think is one of the greatest strengths that you can have as a new grad You know, it's so normal to have hiccups and to make mistakes and to not know things even if it's something you've done a million times and you mess up my gosh, I can't even tell you how many times I've like Done something. I'm just a silliest thing where I'm like, wow, this isn't working. It's backwards, you know things like that It's okay, even if you think you should know it you're human and I think it really shows that you care, care enough about yourself, about the patient, about the people around you to want to do things the right way and that you're also seeking their wisdom and recognizing that like, like you are knowledgeable. I respect you as a coworker. I'm seeking your advice, you know? And so being brave enough to put, I don't know, if we put an ego aside and say, I'm in this position. I know that I know something. I graduated nursing school, so I know something, but I don't know everything. And nobody knows everything anyway. being brave to do that in nursing school and transitioning to practice, I think is what is going to set you up for the most success. And which is also when you are an experienced nurse and people ask you why you do the things you do, you have an answer, you know? Like you have a reason behind your actions. And then when your patients ask you why are you doing things the way you do, you're not like... I don't know, I just kind of assumed you do it this way. You have a reason, you know? It's really setting yourself up for success. And so if you're able to give yourself some time to look at a unit, uh look at a group of people and kind of see, this going to facilitate a successful transition of practice for me? Do I see myself growing here? That will bring you so much. relief in the future. I don't get that kind of pre-shift anxiety that I was so afraid of. Not because my clinical setting isn't scary, not because it's not daunting. It totally is. It totally is. But I know that I can show up to work and ask these people for help and they will respond with a smile. You know, like they are so eager to help, you know, people who are new, people who are learning, and they recognize that no one has it perfect. And so it's unreasonable to expect it that way. And I think as a new grad too, the last thing I'll say, I get worried. I see some like new grads or like people who are just not new grads already kind of getting frustrated with students or already getting kind of frustrated with new grads. And I think it is so important to remind yourself every single day that you were in their shoes just the other day. And that it is so important to give yourself grace, to give others grace. and to remember that it's a team, you're working towards the same goal, it will be okay. Transition to practice does not need to be the worst thing in the world. It doesn't need to be the scariest thing in the world. like I mentioned earlier, nursing is so lucky to have the flexibility where if something's not a good match for you, just like if you have a preceptor that's not a good match for you, it is so okay to go to, you know, whatever supervisor and say, hey, this hasn't been the best pairing. or phrase it however you want, you know, like, would really love to explore an opportunity with somebody else. That is so okay, and we need to recognize that that's a normal path to take, whether that's on your unit or changing units or going somewhere else, but to set yourself up in a way that you will grow is so important as an engineer, as I'm learning every day. I'm still so new to this. love but again, hearing this from you on the front lines, having just graduated like brilliant, just brilliant because again, this this brain of mine, I got like four or five things that I want to come out of this pie hole at the same time. But the one of the key things like what you reminded me when we first when I first started, I had a peer of mine from our nursing school. uh She and I both started in different areas of Peds and she started on a unit that were unit culture. There was no unit culture because it was a brand new unit. They were trying to figure out who they were, what they're even like their patient population. Who are we taking? Who are we not taking? And it was just this brand new experience and everybody gets thrown into this thing. And she had such a horrible time to start with that she was like, man, Eric, like. I want to like she was this close to quitting not that job but nursing altogether and so I don't say that you know and she's ended up having a long luscious beautiful career she's still practicing today all the things great end to that story but in the meantime If you are in that area where the unit culture, for whatever reason, whether it's brand new or they just don't foster that ability to like, man, in the meantime, your responsibility is to check yourself. Am I going in with a bad attitude? Am I going in and I just don't want to get the best out of it? That's something you got to work on if it's you. But if it's the unit you're starting on or the facility or whatever, because not everybody's going into inpatient, right? If that is the culture and that culture is aka toxic, or could hamper your growth, hey, thanks so much for the opportunity. I've gotta try somewhere else because golly, you're hearing what it sounds like straight from Daphne's mouth. If you're able to get into a unit that is, like you said, you're saying the job itself, my gosh, it's still, there's so much to learn and that part of it is still not even necessarily scary, but it's been made less scary. The bite, the fangs, the teeth that it has are less sharp. because you've got people to, you've got people who are willing to help you and walk you through it, right? Ugh, ugh, and that makes all the difference. That's why we exist, that's why we exist. It makes all the difference in the world, people. huge difference. It's not even funny. It's so real. Ugh, I love it, Daphne. I could talk forever and ever and ever ever and ever. That's the only thought I'm like come out on that because you've said it all. You've said what needed to be said. um Is there anything else, before we close with our traditional questions, is there anything else burning on your heart that we've talked about, something that sparked in your mind or in your heart that you wanna make sure you share with other people? That's so nice, I've been talking for so long. I just don't give up on nursing. Good people exist. They are out there, a lot of them, and that change starts with you. Seriously, 100 % starts with you as a nursing student. Your first day, you can make that change happen. And like you said, m if you're four years into the job, two years into the job, three years, one year into the job, and like you said, you're running into those people who haven't been a nurse. AKA super long and they're already showing signs of like, my gosh, like, you know what mean? There's a lot of reasons for that, but by golly, and I'm not perfect. I've talked about myself having days where I've gone and I'm just like, just not today. I love having students, but please just not today because of life circumstances or whatever. And guess what? The job doesn't care. You might be having things going on at home, but guess what? Today you've got a student. Today you've got that patient. Today you've got fill in the blank. you've still got to show up and you got to be the best version of yourself that day. please, please, please, please, as you progress in your career, new grads, nursing students, don't forget where you came from. And that's what that reminded me, Daphne, was going back to my like, you know, a couple of years in the job and I'm like, I'm never going to forget this feeling. I'm never going to forget the feeling that I had being with nurses that were absolutely horrible to you. I do not want to be that person to somebody else. And that change starts with you. Mm-hmm. Yes, and because people like you and Clemence, who are those, it literally just takes you guys. So now I'm thinking about that. I know that I can have that experience at a job because people like you exist. It just takes one person. You know, it is. person to make it go bad, and it also takes one person to make it go, okay, there's hope in the world. All right, okay. Let's circle it back around. And I'm so excited to hear, because I love that you said you got like the yin and the yang, the good and the bad to each of these words. But what were the three words that you chose to describe nursing school and why did you pick them? Yes, so I said daunting, transformative, and humbling. Daunting, I say daunting for a reason. I'm not saying horrible, horrifying, the worst thing ever, terrible, but daunting. You don't know what you're gonna walk into, and that unknown is scary. You know, that's just an uncomfortable feeling. But it's amazing how your perspective shifts for the better as you progress through the program. It is daunting because it's a perception of how things are. And as you get better, as you become more comfortable and familiar with your setting, it changes. And you don't realize it changes until you literally walk onto the unit, you do something new, and then after the fact you're like, oh, that would have scared me terribly, you know, a year ago. And so daunting as a perception, it's not, or it doesn't have to be as scary and as traumatizing as you may make it out to be in your head. Transformative, I have said this so many times, I'll keep it short, you grow up so much in such a short amount of time, it's actually awesome. It is so cool, my instructors used to always say, okay, by this semester, you'll probably be a nurse, by this semester, you'll definitely be a nurse. And that kind of spider tingling sense is when you start thinking like a nurse and stepping into that role, I don't think that's something you'll ever shake. And I think it's really, really cool to see in real time how much you grow. And not just with your knowledge, but I feel like hopefully you're progressing with emotional intelligence and just having those interactions one-on-one with patients. You learn a lot from every single person around you, whether you think you do or you don't. And so all of those impressions, all of those people you see, all those people you care for, it's very transformative in a very positive way, I think. Humbling. I like to think as nursing school as character development boot camp and that is not a bad thing There's no way to avoid mistakes. There's no way to avoid hiccups. That is so normal and completely completely Okay, that's just it's gonna happen and I think being humble is a great quality to have because then you're not putting yourself in the situation as I said earlier or you're just being overconfident, assume you know what you need to do and then you mess up and it could have a really negative outcome. So being humbled by silly mistakes is not a bad thing. It's a fantastic, fantastic learning tool and really a big part of just learning how to take uh constructive criticism and taking everything as a lesson versus, it's not a punishment. um So it's humbling in a very net positive way as well. that is incredible, Daphne, and I love that, that's the most, one of the most eloquent discussions about the word daunting I think I've ever heard. ah Just in the fact that, you you hear it and it sounds like a negative, just right off the bat, but it can be used for the positive. And I also love, you're talking about these, making these mistakes, and I, I... like I said, I'm preparing this presentation for the first time of being able to speak and all the things... And there's this interesting opening that popped in my brain, no joke, as I'm rolling out of bed one morning. I was like, why is this in my head right now? Like, this is not even a... But it's kind of the analogy that came to me is I'm calling it the push-pull test. And it's this. And this is how I'm opening how I'm speaking to people. And that is... Have you ever been in a case, and maybe you haven't, Daphne, maybe it's just me and fellow blondes like me, I don't know, have you ever gone to open a door that's a push and you've pulled it, or you, you know, it's a pull and you've pushed it? So embarrassing. Whether that just involves it just didn't work or you're running into it or you're telling people it's locked and then they like open it in front of you and you're like, okay. been there many times. and I feel like that's a fairly ubiquitous thing. Like we've all, you know what mean, we've all done it at least once. And the thought popped in my brain that like, well, okay, great. It happens, you're embarrassed, sometimes you're mortified, who knows? It depends on who's there and what you're doing. But do you then take that, like what is your response in that moment, Daphne? Do you then leave the door and say, well, I'm not going in that building today because I can't. I'm so mortified, I'm so crushed, I made this mistake. I'm not gonna do the thing. I'm gonna leave. No, we go through the door anyway, right? So when those things happen to you, nursing student, nurse, nursing new grad, when we make mistakes, and I'm saying we, congratulations, 18 years later it still doesn't, you know what I mean? It'll happen. You're gonna do things that are embarrassing. And I love that you say set your ego aside, because who cares? Don't not do the thing because you made a mistake. Just go, well, that just confirmed what I already knew and that is that I'm still a human being. Yay. Let's move forward and pack that embarrassment with us. I don't know. So I'm so glad that you said that. Now, without. putting pressure, any more pressure on you than I already did. ah What is your one piece of advice for nursing students if they take nothing else away from all the amazing things you've already said? What's the one thing you want them to walk away with? I'm so glad you just said that. That set me up perfectly because my biggest piece of advice is to be curious and to not let things embarrass you like that. Things are only embarrassing if you let them be embarrassing. Nothing is ever that deep. It is so okay to just laugh it off and move on. And like I said earlier, again, be curious, know what you don't know, uh which is a skill that's very hard to do. And I think that's uh a huge strength you can have as a nursing student, as a nurse to one, kind of target your areas of need, but also again, to be okay with saying I need help. You know, I don't know what this is and that's not embarrassing. I really am laughing because I've done that so many times, whether Eric remembers or not. I've done so many silly things and so many stakes directly in front of him. It's fine. It's so fun, you know, things are only embarrassing if you let them be. It is not that deep and be curious. That would be my advice. I love that you say laugh it off, because you know what, in this day and age, More than anything else, you know, there's so much, I tell my families, there's so much tragedy out there, like I don't want you to add yourselves to that tragedy. We need comedy to counterbalance that tragedy. It's okay to laugh, it's okay to think things are funny, even if you're the butt of the joke or you make yourself the butt of the joke. A little self-depreciation goes a long way and I guarantee you if someone's judging you for making a mistake, it's very sad because I somehow, I have yet to meet someone who doesn't make mistakes themselves. And so that's what I remind myself to, is like, well, okay, they just haven't learned that, you know what I mean? That we need to laugh at ourselves and just enjoy that bit. So I'm talking too much based on your last thing. I always like to have you with the last word, but Daphne, I cannot thank you enough for taking time out of this very toasty morning, uh working into our afternoon now. And thank you so much for dropping the wisdom and the kindness. and sharing your heart with other people. Thank you so much for having me. Yay! oh