146 - Christopher Vertefeuille: Running Towards the Fire

[explicit - opening swearing and brief discussion about gun violence] Join nursing student and Cle Elum, Washington and Pacific Northwest native Honored Guest Christopher Vertefeuille as he discusses an oddly deeply impactful pizza party, previous careers including flipping burgers and chaplaincy, the hardship that informed his decision to become a nurse, navigating being a leader in the midst of harrowing tragedy, his ever-changing answer to the question, “what do you plan to do after graduation,” interning at the Spokane County Medical Examiner's Office. and more!

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Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Feeding Our Young podcast. I'm gonna just straight up start off by letting you all know that uh since the last episode to this episode, you've experienced a wait of about three or four days. I, however, have experienced a wait of about six weeks. This is the longest I've gone in between recording sessions, here in the studio, uh six weeks time, in which case uh my family has received a life altering diagnosis. I'm not gonna get into that, but it's something that kinda upended our family. And so, it's been a little while since I've been behind this mic. But over that course of the time, one of the reasons that did keep me from sitting behind studio was I picked up a nice little summer job on top of my regular full-time job to keep me busy. in the interim while I was waiting between Gonzaga job. And so I was able to finally for the first time reach a goal of mine, a professional goal that I had long since held ever since starting teaching. And that was to go back to where it all began and teach adjunct clinical at Spokane Community College where I received my degree some 18 or 19 years ago. So that was incredible, an incredible experience. And why do I talk about that right now? Because the gentleman I have in studio today was one of my amazing students. And I am not going to waste any more of his time or yours. I wanna dive right in to get into know more about this man, because he's got some incredible things to share. The one, the only, ladies and gentlemen, Christopher. Welcome to studio, Christopher. How you doing, my friend? I'm doing well, thank you so much for having me, I'm excited to be here. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited that you're here. uh We had a great time over the summer. We had a sad time over the summer. had, you can just cover it all. It was incredible. But uh it also brought me to one of the hospitals I'm not experienced with. It brought me into one of the uh areas of teaching I'm not experienced with, going and working with adults again. That was the first time I've done that since, well, nursing school. And for those out there, like postpartum, that doesn't count as adults. You get adults and babies. It's a different mix. We're talking like the sick of the sick, the adults, us cantankerous adults as we know ourselves to be. And it was a wonderful experience. It was so good getting back into that. We're gonna talk about that a little bit, course, but let's just start off with the uh normal opening questions. Christopher, ah what school are you going to and when do you graduate? Well, spoiler alert, I'm going to Spokane Community College. my gosh! That's amazing! I was just teaching there! I think so. I feel like we have. Yeah, I'm at Spokane Community College going into third quarter and I will be graduating in August of 2026 barring any unforeseen unplanned circumstances. Knocking on wood there. And every possible surface you can find. And as a disclaimer for those listening, we are recording currently in very late September, almost turning over to October of 2025. So less than a year to go. That's right, coming down the homestretch, or so they say. I mean, allegedly you've gotten through the most difficult part as the rumor on the streets are, correct? Yeah. the one that you had the honor or maybe audacity to join in. That one is brutal. And yeah, like you said, it was all over the spectrum of emotions. We laughed, we cried. We lost a quarter of our cohort to that. I'm gonna tell you all right now, one of my traditions that I've held since my very first uh adjunct clinical group, where we have a pizza party. Like we celebrate the end of the quarter, the semester, the whatever, experience by having a pizza party. And uh it was the most somber pizza party I've had because some of our fellow peers didn't make it. And yet on the flip side of it, upon further reflection for me, it felt like one of the more deeply profoundly impacting pizza parties as weird as that that term sounds would you agree with that Christopher? 100 % and yeah, I mean there wasn't a dry eye in that room. Yeah, it was... So many emotions in that room, but truly I'm glad that of all the people that could have led us through that pizza party, you are the right person for that. So thank you so much for that. It was unprecedented territory. And I'm like going, what the heck are we like? I don't even know what to do with this. And it just was like, no, you know, we're going to feel the feels. We're going to have the pizza. There's plenty of things to still celebrate. There's a lot of things to mourn, a lot of things to celebrate. And that is nursing. That is life, isn't it? Like. That's what we're talking about here, my six weeks off. There's been a lot of challenge there and yet amidst that, you find the things to celebrate and the life to enjoy. So we're not turning this episode into that pizza party clinical conference. We're gonna keep going. ah Christopher, where is home for you and more specifically, where are you from? Um, well, home right now is in Spokane. Um, haven't always lived here, only for the last eight years. Um, I've been Pacific Northwest based. I kind of grew up on the West side, Everett, Seattle area, um, middle school and high school. I graduated from a very small school in a very small town. in central washington if you've ever driven across the state you've probably driven right through this town and didn't even realize it little little little cleo em well, clear them. Oh yeah, kind of a glorified pit stop for the travelers going across the state. uh After college, I did go to college and got a degree in Seattle. And then after that, went down to Oregon and lived on the coast for a couple years before moving up to Spokane. Why the Oregon coast? feel like out of all of that like that's the little blip that's like, you know what mean? It's not quite is it there's not a Line that takes directly through there. Why the Oregon coast? Uh, well, I was following a girl. Yep. Great incentive. Yes, always a good reason to upend your entire life and move somewhere else. No, that is all fantastic. A couple more opening questions before we get more into your story here. Of course, what are the, uh being through nursing school, currently, in the midst of it, uh what are three words you would use to describe nursing school? Oh, um... Shit. And maybe... fuckery and... Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Ah, to put it bluntly. Okay, and if we had to pick three more appropriate words that I could actually use in a presentation to nursing students, what would those be? Alright, I would say intense. um Definitely intense, chaotic, and I put a lot of thought into this word, um perspective. perspective. Was that as much thought as you put into fuckery or more? uh No, and again, we have our little prep forms and he sends it back to me and this is like a bunch of the like, you know, like, uh ampersands and stuff like that. You know, like three different clusters of that and then or maybe just intense chaotic and perspective. So he had them both prepped. I'm excited to edit this on the back end. This will be so much fun. ah Before we stray too much further, what are three of your favorite songs in life right now? Gosh, have been listening to a ton of under the rug. They are kind of an underground indie up-and-coming band So yeah, definitely listening to a lot of them Yeah, some of my favorite songs from them turkey vulture Which has an incredible lyric in that song? Nothing is ideal, but I feel fine Oh, so apropos! great, great analogy for nursing school. Lonesome and Mad, also a great analogy for nursing school at times. And uh one of their newer songs, I Don't Want to Cry in My Car Anymore, which I would say. very much pro appropriate every day before lecture. Oh my gosh. And then do you have any other third band or third song you want to add to that? Let's see, I've also been listening to, I've been getting back into Elton John. Just to, yeah, I've got a pretty eclectic taste in music, so. And that's why we get along so well. I recently did a search on Elton John just for music for someone else who had mentioned them as one of their favorite artists but didn't give me a song. And so was like, I mean, there's a bunch that prattle off the top of my head. But in looking so, I didn't realize he has done so many collaborations. I mean, I knew about George Michael, that ages me. But I mean, he's done so many collaborations. And I'm like, this is amazing. You're talking about like Dua Lipa and you know what mean? Like all these modern artists and stuff too. I'm like, This is just incredible that he's willing to do it. cranking out music that is... bopping. He just did that... yeah, that collaboration with Brandy Carlile and it's incredible. yeah. And he, but again, it shows his passion for music and what he does, right? Which is a ham-handed segue into Christopher. What are some of your passions and interests? So shallow, I don't care. oh are some of your passions and interests when you're not so tied up with nursing school? Oh, let's see, I love nature. I love being out in nature. Doesn't matter the weather. In fact, I love going for hikes in the rain. The stormier the better. Paddle boarding in the summer. Cross-country skiing in the winter. I like to rock hound, which I think some people aren't super familiar with. It's just a... fancy word that means looking for pretty rocks. Yeah, I love going agate hunting on beaches. Spokane area has garnets and Labradorite and opal in some areas, so I just like looking for pretty rocks. I love that! Maybe that's your episode title. I just like looking for pretty rocks. People will be like, what the heck? You know, as it relates to nursing, well it doesn't really. No, it really does, because you're looking for the good. You're looking for, you know what I mean, you are intently going out there and looking for these quote unquote beautiful rocks. You're looking for in the midst of maybe this rough boulder of a patient. You're looking for that beautiful, you know what I mean, on the inside. I mean, that's an easy lob right there. No, think, yeah. sometimes I could take my hammer and chisel to some of those patients. In a metaphoric way, of course. metaphoric everybody totally metaphoric not condoning violence at all uh No, I think that's I think that's incredible man um Let me before we start talking nursing one last question this that sort of I think leads into that But you know you've you've already mentioned how you've already had a different degree things of that nature What other jobs or careers have you had prior to nursing? Well, let's see my first job was at a little fast food burger joint, fry cook. Yeah, knew I didn't want to make a career out of that. Went to college and actually I went to school for theology. Yeah, I got a degree with an emphasis in educational ministry. I thought that I wanted to do full-time ministry and I had always had a passion for healthcare so there's that perfect marriage between healthcare and ministry with chaplaincy so I did spend some time doing full-time ministry, but ultimately I kept gravitating back towards healthcare. I worked as an in-home caregiver, and then uh when I moved to Spokane, I worked at a group home for adolescents with extreme behavioral and developmental disabilities. That was such a fascinating time of my life. It was incredibly difficult. Learned a lot of lessons and a lot of those I learned the hard way. um Definitely have the scars to prove that I was there in the thick of it. But it was so incredible. working with these youth who, yeah, they just needed somebody there who could kind of give them stability. Yeah, it was so incredibly rewarding. And then COVID happened. So, and I've always been kind of one of those people who runs towards the fire. So after lockdown, I was, you know, kind of questioning where I wanted to go career wise. And there just wasn't a whole lot of upward mobility with the residential care. And so I ended up getting my nursing assistant certification and started working at the hospital in the middle of a pandemic and haven't looked back. In fact, I wasn't there long as a nursing assistant when I realized just how much I bedside nursing cares. And so I knew really early on, this is something that I want to pursue. Now I'm in nursing school. Incredible. And I figured this would kind of lead right into that natural follow-up question, which maybe you've already answered in its completion or unless you want to expound on it more, but why nursing then? What about it appealed to you? How did that? I mean, it sounds like you've already got the building blocks, you know what I mean? But why nursing? Um, great question. Also, I don't know if you can hear my cat meowing in the background. I totally can. I didn't want to call attention to it, but since you're calling attention to it, and again, you all might not be able to hear this beautiful kitty just singing his, her song. I don't know. Tell us more about your fur babies and then why nursing. Well, oh, here she is crawling onto my lap now. This is... Okay, we're getting a picture. This is happening live as we're talking. Smile. Aww. Who is this? This is Aela. and she is an American bob, no tail. and very snuggly. Oh. She especially loves to take advantage of whenever I'm at the computer because she knows I'll be sitting there for some time and... We can offer the nice warm lap. Aww. I ask because we have our own, you know, we have two studio mascots. One is Cleo, one is Patches. And Patchy was in here earlier while we were prepping. And then Cleo is who you hear at the end of every episode if anyone listens all the way to the very last second or two. I was like when my wife was doing her little outro, I was like, oh, we gotta keep Cleo in there. That's amazing. Anyway, alright, we digress. Why nursing, Christopher? Why nursing? that is something that I actually somewhat new since middle school. I knew that I wanted at least to work in a hospital and that was inspired out of hardship. It was Memorial Day weekend and my sister and two of my cousins were in an ATV and it ended up rolling. and causing injuries and very chaotic situation for the family. And of course, being Memorial Day weekend in a small town, the emergency department was absolutely jam packed. So we spent many, many hours there waiting for family to be treated and One of my cousins, she kind of escaped mostly unscathed with just a broken wrist. Her and I, we just kind of rounding on the other family members while we were waiting for everyone to be treated. And it ended up becoming such a fun experience, just going in and... bringing smiles and laughter to our family's faces. uh it just felt so rewarding to be able to enter that space of chaos and hardship and bring a calming, peaceful, fun presence. Yeah, that definitely helped inspire this mindset of being able to bring comfort and a smile into what might be people's worst day of their life. Most people don't plan on going to the hospital. And if they do, it's not a highlight for them. So that happened in middle school. uh However, in my small town, didn't really have a strong science department. They struggled to hire science teachers and so I had kind of counted myself out from the sciences pretty early on. Yeah, and so... um that's where I ended up going into theology instead. and behold, I have an uncle who was a pastor and as I'm entering college, he got a job in San Diego as a chaplain at one of the busiest hospitals in the San Diego area. And he started telling me stories about what he did and I was absolutely hooked because it was exactly that, you know, presence, uh positivity and comfort in the midst of chaos that he got to do as a chaplain and so I was immediately hooked and got my theology degree fully anticipating doing chaplaincy. Full-time ministry, however, doesn't offer a whole lot of job outlook. No, it usually doesn't. They definitely love their volunteers. m And since I had kind of transplanted myself from Seattle to the Oregon coast after college, a lot of churches also like to hire from within. And here I am as an outsider, tried for two years to really get established in ministry and it just wasn't working. And so... More so out of necessity than anything else, I started doing in-home caregiving and it was kind of a reminder that, yeah, this is like really what I wanted to do. So. Yeah, once I kind of got back into the healthcare side of things, I really leaned into it and absolutely fell in love with it. And by then, had done a lot of growing and discovered, you know what? I think I really sold myself short, you know, thinking that I wasn't a man of the sciences. So, yeah, I went back to school. in 2023 and have absolutely loved almost every second of it. Found out I'm not a huge fan of organic chemistry. I don't know a single person yet who is. You But other than that, yeah, it has been such an amazing experience. yeah, not that I ever like lost that passion for chaplaincy, but I think I just kind of recognize that I could have a lot more direct of an impact with nursing. yeah. I think that's a good way to summarize the kind of that the differences between the two, because I think every nurse in a certain respect is a chaplain of sorts, especially as long as they're open to that holistic care and you know what I mean, making sure that they are taking care of the complete person, not just the physical needs that are present at the time. So you mentioned this challenge with the accident and things of that nature. And if you don't mind, I mean, like based on what you had here in your response form and things of that nature, were there other challenges that you had in life that you wanted to talk about, either specifically or generically? And how did you walk through those challenges slash overcome them, even though I don't like using that word? Yeah, definitely a big one that sticks out was as I was getting my first college degree, it was the end of my junior year and I was a resident hall ministry coordinator. So my job was uh kind of a mentor to a group of student ministry coordinators. And so Each dorm hall had a student ministry coordinator and then the resident hall ministry coordinator kind of organized them. ah in this leadership role and ah as the year was wrapping up, was finals week and somebody came onto campus with a gun and started opening fire. Yeah, and yeah, I was just kind of caught up in the middle of that aftermath. um You know, not only was I a friend to... uh soul victim of that shooting. He was a member of the floor that I lived But also finding myself in this leadership role and trying to navigate how do I grieve but also how do I help others who are absolutely lost and also overcome with grief. in the midst of this tragedy. And it took a long time and a lot of processing to really unpack all of that. But something that I came out of it with was this passion for meeting people in the midst of their grief. And it actually wasn't even until just recently in the last three or four years that I was in counseling and kind of just mulling around this thought process of, why am I someone that runs towards the dumpster fire? um And we talked a lot about that shooting and how... Experiences like that obviously aren't anything that we ever should hope to ever have to go through. But the way that they shape us can impact how we respond to chaos and tragedy. so definitely I would say that one of the outcomes of that was it has made me someone that is not afraid to wade into the depths of intense heartbreak and tragedy and meet people there. Hmm. Man, Christopher, I thank you for sharing that. Like, this is something I did not know about you. You know what I mean? Like, obviously, it's not like we all get into deep conversations uh on clinicals, for example. But I mean, even then, I just appreciate you being vulnerable. because that's not, unfortunately, there's more and more people who can say that, right? Who can say they've experienced that. But It's still a vast minority, would feel like, especially compared to maybe other parts of the world. But I just, man, my heart goes out to you, for starters, my heart goes out to everyone that was there. And yet, like, it makes sense to me, you know what mean? Having met you and seen the type of person you are. Like, I'm like, OK, OK, this is definitely I get this. And there are those moments in life. I've talked about it before in the context of my own grief that will either make you or break you. And there's no in-between. um It either devastates you to the point of, I don't want to say no return, but it can devastate someone and or tear people apart versus, you know what I mean, just making you that much stronger or bringing people together. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. I'm rambling about a topic that I know nothing about. Like, my gosh, that's just incredible though. And so I hate to go so, you we just waited in the depths and I'm just gonna climb right into the shallow part of the pool. But I mean, this does seem to inform more of what it is you want to do after graduation. So what are your plans after graduation and what areas of nursing do you feel most drawn to? You know, more I get into nursing school, the more that answer changes. uh As is often the case, yes. Right, if you had asked me a year ago, I had this perfectly scripted answer of, know, I absolutely love the team that I work with at Deaconess Hospital right now. Shout out to Pulse Heart Institute and the nurses and nurse assistants and all of the staff on Seven Tower. Yeah. They have been an incredible team and very supportive, amazing culture. I would absolutely love to continue growing with them. And I know that should I continue with them, that will be an area of huge growth. And I have fallen in love with cardiac and um definitely. So thankful for that team there. um Besides that, I also am really interested in rapid response or like some kind of code team. um I've been told by many a nurse who have precepted me that I have the kind of uh personality. and demeanor for ICU nursing and that does that does interest me. um However, I had a very incredible opportunity over this past summer and uh starting in the spring to intern at the Spokane County Medical Examiner's Office. Yes. It was absolutely one of the most fascinating experiences of my whole life. um And that kind of maybe changed the perspective and potential outlook that I have on kind of the intersection of healthcare and I guess caring for our deceased. Yeah, yeah. Which is not something a lot of people think of when they're in nursing school or at all really. Yeah, we usually try to avoid death. It's usually the enemy of what we're trying to accomplish for sure. But, you know, as an inevitability of life, some people say we start dying from the moment we're born. You know, none of us are gonna escape it. And I just really found a passion for it. So if you don't mind my asking, it's rare I get this opportunity. Whatever it is that you're able to share, like what, I guess specifically what does forensic nursing is what it sounds like, right? Like forensic nursing, what does that look like? What does your internship look like? And what appeals to you about it? yeah, forensic nursing is, I would say, right on the outside of what happens at the medical examiner's office. There are SANE nurses, which are the sexual assault nurses who kind of process and collect evidence and care for patients who have been victims of horrific crimes. and then there's also non-fatal strangulation cases that, uh, forensic nurses will care for those patients as well. as well as there's a lot of the like legal, like medical expert in the courtroom kind of capacity that you can go into with forensic nursing and I mean, my heart absolutely goes out to the people and the victims of those horrific crimes. And I absolutely have a passion for walking alongside them and helping them process that. And so there's definitely a huge draw for me to lend my nursing expertise in that way. As you take a step into the medical examination it is no longer necessarily a service to the victim so much as it is a service to their family. So at that office, there's two main jobs that I got to shadow and intern under. There's the medico-legal death investigators who they're kind of referred to as the last responders as opposed to the first responders. They will go out to scenes of crimes or mysterious. were unattended deaths and conduct investigation. And um if necessary, they will take jurisdiction of the body or bodies. And then they go back to the morgue and then the autopsy assistants, which are the other incredible group of people that I got to work with. They work with the medical examiner and will do a full pro section of bodies and try to determine um cause of death or sometimes it's a case of identity or finding next of kin. And so m it's really an incredible service to the family who are left after these tragedies. The way I like to think about it is, you our lives tell a story and we don't always get to decide how that story ends. And so that work, I felt like gave us an opportunity to bring those stories to closure and put a period at the end of somebody's life. and oftentimes that brings closure to families. I hope it does and being able to provide that service was so rewarding. I absolutely fell in love with it. I mean, I'm right there with you. This is something I don't share a lot. Anyone who's a long time listener knows that I like to walk around graveyards when needing to wrestle with life's deep questions. And that's a whole different discussion in of itself. But there was also this idea, if I don't cut it in nursing or if it just gets to be too much, maybe I could fall back into something along the lines of a mortician. You know what mean? Something in that world. And it sounds morbid, but it was just, it's more of that, it marries science, the incredible curiosity of how the human body works and trying to solve these problems with that human element. And how do you help families through the midst of grieving? And it sounds like, you know what I mean? Providing these answers that families are hopefully, so I'm like, you've perked my ears up. I'm like, and how did you get that internship? And who do I contact? Just kidding. you It's a weird dynamic, you know what I mean? But no, I appreciate you sharing that because that's, man, is something that, you know what I mean? Not a lot of people think about it. And who knows where you'll land, Christopher, because you've got, like you said, whole other year of nursing school. And you said a year ago, you would have thought XY. Right now, you're thinking Z. And in a year, who knows? Maybe it's ABC. I don't know. With that, I... nursing like a certain someone I know. I know a guy I can I can get you connected into that world for sure Man, I don't know. You know what I mean? And that's what nursing is right? We're talking life and death and and everything in between and It's just an incredible journey. I Christopher I can't thank you enough for Sharing both your vulnerability and these intriguing aspects of nursing that people don't think about Before we close in our traditional manners or anything else you definitely wanted to add Oh gosh, let me look through my notes and see if there's anything that I definitely wanted to touch on. No, you can, you can... You know, land this ship. Alright, then we'll land this ship indeed. ah With that then, you had chosen... Well, in lack of better terms, you've chosen six words to describe nursing school, and most anyone who's been through nursing school knows how those first three relate. So we'll just talk about why did you pick those last three words to describe nursing school. intensity is, I think something that if you're there, you understand. ah not that it's a bad thing. Um, it's that kind of intensity that, helps you grow. It brings you out of your comfort zone and it's going to be a lot of work, but it's going to be worth it. And you're going to like who you become. kind of in that furnace. Chaos, I feel like, has been a theme of this podcast. I know I've brought up chaos a few times. And I think, yeah, really there's not a better word to describe it. There is just a lot of unknown, and that's the nature of nursing. And therefore a nature of nursing school is, you know, whether in clinicals or sitting down to take a test and you look at it and you're like, I don't remember studying any of this. You are definitely walking right into a whole lot of chaos when, you decide to pursue nursing. And again, it's not a bad thing. It's. a little bit disorienting at times, but ah it is so, so rewarding. And I think that kind of ties into my final word, perspective. If you don't get anything else out of nursing school, you are going to gain a whole lot of perspective. You are going to learn how to care for people in ways that maybe you never knew you could. You're going to learn things about yourself, you're going to learn things about others, and you're going to come face to face with experiences that most people don't ever have to go through, and hopefully never will. And then here we are actively running towards it. And yeah, the way that that changes your perspective on life in your community and people who are just really going through it from all walks of I know it has absolutely made me into a better person and I am so thankful for all of the perspective that this journey has given me. and will continue to give you as you finish out the education portion and then just starting whatever career and or careers you end up in, Dude, I just, this has been so good, but if you have one piece of advice, being in the midst of it all, in the thick of the chaos, all the things, if you have one piece of advice, one thing you wanted people to take away from listening to your episode, what would that be? You know, I am NOT gonna sugarcoat it. There is not a whole lot that is comfortable about nursing. But ah the more you spend time in that discomfort, the more you start to feel at home in it. And so I would say... uh anticipate the discomfort, but embrace it, lean into it. And in a weird kind of way, we learn to adapt and get used to anything. And then little bonus, something that has helped me tremendously in getting through all of that discomfort is my support system. And so I'd say also find your people, find your support system, find those other members of your cohort. Or if you're already in healthcare, know, find those nurses that you vibe with because ah they're going to be who get you through. And absolutely none of us are doing this on our own. It's nursing is a team sport. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it truly, like the old adage for what? Raising children, right? It truly takes a village to raise a nursing student. You know what I mean? We're all helping each other. We're all in this hopefully together for the common good and the common goal of that common good. So Christopher. people that know exactly what you're going through. Aha, and who can speak that language? I guess that's the other thing, right? We've talked about that. Not only do you have all these new terms and all these things, just from a literal language portion of it, but I mean, it's that esoterical more, you know what I mean, language that we all know and speak. Like you said, if you've been through nursing school, you know why intense supplies, you know why chaos supplies, you know why all this applies, because there's nothing like it. There's absolutely nothing like it. And that's coming from two guys right now who have been through various facets of life and different areas of education as well. it is, it's its own beast. uh I use that in the most affectionate term, you know, the most affectionate way possible if that's even a thing. So Christopher, I can't thank you and Aima enough. for swinging by Studio and dropping the wisdom and man, I just wish you the best. in touch and maybe down the road we get a Where is He Now episode out of ya, yeah? That would be great, I would love to. I love it. And maybe repeated ones, and maybe they're a year apart, like, wait, hold on, he's doing something different now. This is what we're doing this time. Oh man. No, have a great rest of your Friday, my friend. Thank you so, much, Eric. You're doing an amazing thing with this podcast, and I'm so glad to be a part of it. Thank you, it's been a pleasure my friend.