147 - Chandy Thorn: I Never Considered Anything Else

Join nurse and Spokane, Washington native Honored Guest Chandy Thorn as she talks about the challenge of attending clinical during COVID, navigating nursing school after her mother’s death, her involvement in the Big Sister Little Sister program, what she loves about working in the NICU, how navigating grief has helped her current profession, her practical advice for dealing with difficult shifts, and more!

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to this episode of the Feeding Our Young®® podcast. It is a beautiful, relatively early October fall day. It's the first official episode of fall. Why am I saying that? Because I still feel like my voice isn't quite 100%. So if it sounds like I'm on the verge of puberty or something along those lines, it's because I had a glorious Sunday, this last Sunday, I got to go to both the Seahawks and a Seattle Mariners postseason game. And in fact, as of right now, tonight is what's gonna decide whether the Mariners continue on in that postseason or if they will be done until next year. grew up, many know that I've been baptized, I tell people I've been raised and baptized a Mariners fan by my mother. you know, none of that's important in the grand scheme of things because I have someone in studio who has an incredible story to share ah whose heart I just love both. just as a person and for her patients. And so without further ado, let's introduce the one, the only, Chandy Thorn. Chandy, how are you this fine afternoon as we've established? I'm doing great. Awesome. I'm so glad you're here and thank you for taking time today to share your heart about nursing. Okay, so before we really get going, I have to throw this out here. I'm so excited to announce the fact that Chandy, you have the honor of being the 100th Honored Guest on The Feeding Our Young® podcast. That's so exciting. I love that. 100's a big deal. It is, and I'm just so like, you guys, behind the scenes, like, Chandy had some stuff going on, and in the last minute there was something going down. She was like, hey, can we do this maybe next week or another time? And I was like, absolutely, here's my dates, just let me know. And then it just worked out that we were still able to come today. And I'm like, well, there we are, you're number 100. It was meant to be. So Chandy, thank you for being the 100th Honored Guest So let's just jump right into the normal opening questions. Introduce us. Well, I mean, I introduced you, but tell us a little more about yourself. Where are you from? What degrees do you hold? Where did you get them? I'm originally from Spokane. I went to UW for about two years and did my prereqs over there and then ended up moving back. I got my RN at SCC and graduated in 2020. And then I waited a few years before I went back for my bachelor's and I graduated with my BSN from WGU in 2024. Oh my good... so just last year, huge congrats on that because that is no small task, right? Awesome. Let me ask you too, it's not a standard opening question, but why go back for that bachelor's? When I first graduated my RN, the hospital was requiring your bachelor's within a certain amount of time. And I actually just applied to get into the program when they decided that they weren't going to require it for the time being. But if I had waited, I probably would have had to retake more classes in the future when they brought back that requirement. So I just was like, we're just going to get it done with. Let's just do it. Bust it out. Oh, that's awesome. Well, being a fellow Night Owl and a fellow Big Foot I don't know, big feet. Congratulations on both accounts. You said you graduated in 2020 with your 80 and what part of 2020 was, I mean, obviously, pandemic's full swing, right? Yeah, I finished in August of 2020. Yeah. Oh man, that's gotta be hard. We may have to your brain on that, on what clinicals were like and things of that nature, but in the interest of pursuing or learning a little bit more about you, uh what three words did you choose to describe nursing school? I said that nursing school was stressful, competitive, and challenging. Mmm, awesome, awesome. And then, are three of your favorite songs in life right now? One of my long time favorites is, or like longer time, is So Small by Carrie Underwood. And then I really liked the song High Road with uh Jelly Roll and Jesse Murph. And then I recently found the song You For A Reason by Warren. I think it's the Siders, maybe Zeters. I could be saying that wrong, but yeah. Thank you for sharing that. A little bit more about yourself then here before we progress. um I understand you have some fur babies about, yes, so tell us a little bit more about them. Right after nursing school, I was living with my grandparents, which was totally great. There really wasn't a rush for me to move out of there, other than I really wanted to get cats. And so I went. anti-feline or just allergic? Uh, no, they are not anti either. I just think my grandparents did not want any more animals. If I brought them home, they would have adapted, I didn't want to do that to them. But I essentially, went to, um, it was at right next door to Target. Is that PetSmart? Yeah, they have like the adoption thing. So I'd been checking the website and they had these two little Siamese kittens that I guess had just went up for adoption that morning. So I got there. And after I got there, was like four other people waiting to try to adopt these cats. And I went in for one and left with two. And then I immediately uh got myself into an apartment. So they only stayed two days at my grandparents' So yeah, it fun. we're a sucker for that exact scenario. I was like, we're just gonna go look. Yeah, no, then you end up with a cute little fur baby coming home. uh a Chowinnie. Her name's Jersey. And that we got her from one of my sister's friends. They, I think it might've been like more of an accidental litter. So they weren't in it for like the money. They just said pay for her first shots and you can have her. So it was great. m I love it. And uh as I recall, Jersey I think goes traveling with you and does things with you, She goes, yeah, a lot of places. She likes to go paddle boarding. So is she a good swimmer? She can swim, she acts like it's torture when we put her in, but like she has to get cooled off. But it's funny, my sister will go with me and like if we're floating away from each other, she kind of panics. Like she almost looks like she's about to jump in and swim to the other person. I mean, so we just stay close to each other. That's awesome. So you mentioned the sister, so go ahead and tell us a bit more about your family, whatever it is you want to share. Yeah, I have a little sister. She's eight years younger than me and then a Little Brother who is six years younger than me. And I have an older brother as well that I believe is 33. I could be off there, but yeah, my little sister lives with me. She moved in a little bit after I graduated nursing school and my mom had passed away. So I, as soon as I got into my apartment, she moved into the other bedroom and left yet. that's incredible. And so if I recall correctly, you said your grandparents, you said you stayed with your grandparents. And we'll talk more about your mom here in a little bit. But it sounds like they played a part in raising you, yes? Yeah, my grandma was very involved. It was almost the best way I can explain it or assume I don't have divorced parents, right? But it felt like my friends who did, it felt like I was going back and forth between my grandma's house and my mom's house. Like they were co-parenting, but it was just, I mean, she, my grandma didn't work. And so I would go there like after school and everything. that's so cool. My heart goes out to the incredible grandparents out there, because I had one as well that she just, she'd do anything for you. know what mean? Family, friends, she was just, yeah, absolutely wonderful. ah Before we go diving into the deep end, because listener warning, we're going to dive straight into the deep end and then work our way to the shallow end on this one. uh before we do that, you mentioned paddle boarding is one of your hobbies. What else do you like to do when you are not consumed with taking care of your patients. I like to pretty much do anything with just like the people that I like to hang out with. I don't mind being at home, but I'd much rather go hang out with friends. I tend to take along with them and their kids. I go camping, which is fun. And then I like to do crafty things. Like if I am alone, I recently started to embroider names onto like baby sweaters. A lot of people use them either as like the announcement of the name or Like my niece, we put her name on an 18 month old sweater. And then every month, like for milestones, they take a picture of her and tell her first birthday. And that's when the sweater will actually fit her. Oh my gosh, that is so cute. Yeah, it's been fun. I've had a lot of coworkers actually buy the sweaters. Aww, I mean even in your hobbies, your pursuit of hobbies and interests, you're still like helping others. That is so cool. let's dive right into the deep end. I'd like to, because what I love about you is what makes you you. And not that this defines you in any way, shape or form, but an event like that is your mom dying, cannot be something that, you know what I mean, can be glanced over or anything. It definitely becomes, I imagine, very much a fiber of who you are and how you make your decisions moving forward. uh I usually frame this of course in the form of what challenges have you faced in life and obviously this is a very huge challenge. So uh I know that others out there have experienced grief and maybe complicated grief, who knows? And so if you don't mind kind of opening the door to that, whatever you're comfortable with, Chandy. Yeah, my mom passed away in 2019. So pre COVID, thankfully, um, she didn't have like the best health. I'd say even though it was like unexpected and happened very quickly, it wasn't completely shocking. Um, she ended up getting MRSA pneumonia, which kind of just presented as almost like confusion. Like I remember the last night we visited her, she kept saying that she heard babies crying and there was no babies. And I wasn't a nurse yet, but like in hindsight, it's like she definitely was septic and we just didn't quite know it yet. um So that's kind of where it started. And then she ended up passing away seven days later when we like made the decision to remove life support. So yeah. My goodness, my heart goes out to you, Chandy, for sure. mean, and even being one that's been there with the whole making a decision on life support thing, that's pretty rough. And so, um my goodness. So you say that that happened before you became a nurse. Were you in nursing school at the time? I wasn't. I had gotten in, but I hadn't actually started the program yet. uh She passed in January, and I believe I started in May or June, right around that time period. it was, I'm thankful that we, I at least had that those few months, but it still was like very fresh. Yeah, very much so. mean, how do you, so if you don't mind my asking, how do you then, I mean, you're talking months later, go into nursing school and I imagine being reminded of what you just went through. How do you work through that? I think that nursing em can be very fulfilling. So even though nursing school was probably the more stressful than that, but I don't know. I feel like I just used that as motivation to get through is like the clinicals and like the experience, like it did fill my cup, even though some days it probably emptied it too. But em I don't know. I do think a positive attitude helps. not a toxically positive attitude, like, I don't know. I knew I wanted to do nursing and it would have been worse to not be able to get through that because of grief. So I feel like we just adapt. I have like three different questions that all are competing for my attention, but um let's just start with the practicality of it. Let's continue down the practical road of it. um And that being that, you you talked about, started nursing school in 2020, pandemic's full swing. Your mom has died months before. Um, you know, you've got clinicals. So normally the question is, well, how do you do clinicals in a pandemic? And there have been some people that I've had on the podcast that have talked about that, but how do you do clinicals for, mean, a, you've got the difficulty of the pandemic and then B. You have, I imagine clinicals reminded you of your mom and things of that nature. So kind of walk us through like, how, how do you do it? How do you do it? nursing school is a very interesting time. think that we were probably one of the few schools that did not go virtual. We did all in-person clinicals and, I can't speak for all the nursing schools in the area, but the one that I went to did not have a way to make up clinical hours. And if you missed more than two clinicals, you were essentially, I wouldn't say kicked out of the program, but almost like you withdraw and when a spot opens up in the future in like lower cohorts, that's when you could get back in. And so at the time, you know, if you got exposed to COVID or you got COVID, you would um probably isolate for 14 days, which means that you would miss at least two clinicals. So I'm sure people did get COVID and did not disclose that to the school, but it was very... um high stress because we took COVID patients and I think even just for experienced nurses, like there's just so much unknown. Like at one point we wearing cloth masks, masks, which is comical to me, but yeah, I forgot the second part of your question. Sorry, the second part was just then how does your mom's death, you know, being reminded of your mom's death during clinicals, I imagine, Yeah, it did. Not all the time, but she had lots of diagnoses that I feel like we just learn in nursing school. She was a type 2 diabetic, uncontrolled. She had emphysema and COPD, so you have the whole respiratory aspect that you see a ton in the hospital. And then she was unconscious for about one day. and then ended up having to be intubated. She was put on a paralytic to help ventilate her. And then from there she went into multiple organ failure. So another thing you learn about nursing school. And she ended up on like dialysis and ECMO, which ECMO was probably one of the things I didn't learn about. But yeah, it was interesting because I feel like, you know, I kind of went to this mode. I was like, I'm at school, we're not gonna think about that. ignoring it also builds up. So like there, I remember there was one clinical day where it like just hit me extremely hard. And I think that my fellow like nursing peers, I guess I would say, they probably thought I was getting in trouble with my instructor, but I was actually just, uh I don't know, letting it out, I guess. But yeah, I don't know. It was a very... I couldn't have expected it to go a certain way. I feel like I just reflect on it more now. Yeah. I see. You're kind of, it sounds like a mixture of compartmentalizing, powering through, and then just allowing those feelings their due space when you could or when they demanded it. Yes. Yeah, what I found is like I felt pretty um okay with talking about it. Not that I have to, but I feel like I processed it a little bit differently each time I did, which was helpful to me, but not everybody is comfortable with grief. that was interesting as well. When nursing school, it's like I could relate to things and it's like I want to talk about that, but also it was like, well, should I? I don't really want to ruin everybody else's day either. So it's like. Sounds like an interesting balance to try and find for sure. So then it doesn't sound as though your experience with your mom is what informed you wanting to become a nurse. So why nursing? I don't remember an exact like exactly when I just know that I never considered anything else. Like from the time that I was like in grade school, I knew I wanted to do nursing. My Little Brother, he's six years younger than me and he actually was a meconium aspiration baby. So he was very, very sick. It was at our neighboring hospital um for I think like a month or so. But I just remember like going there. And like we didn't really let kids back there. So like it was like peeking through like almost like the nursery window. But like I imagine that was probably interesting to me. I remember it pretty vividly. And then I ended up getting into Big Brothers, Big Sisters when I was 11, right around 11. And the person that I put down that I wanted to do nursing. And so I was actually paired with someone who um was in nursing. So I feel like that just always kept it right at the forefront. Yeah. very pivotal in my decisions. providing that opportunity for you because yeah, mean, you know, have somebody you can talk about it with and ask questions about, right? Yeah, I learned a lot like as time went on just by having that relationship. it kept it like, yeah, I still am interested in that. I still want to do that. So let me ask you then, you mentioned your brother being a MEK aspiration baby. And so what area of nursing did you end up in, Chandy? And that's where I got to meet you. I just, you your... your level of ability to care for your patients. there's my, like my, salute you, my hats off to you uh because I love coming and taking care of those feeder growers when I get to float to you guys. above and beyond that, no thank you, I'm good. um And so just to see the level of compassion with which you care for your, and correct me if I'm wrong and tell me if you don't want this out there, but as I understand it, there was a certain award you received recently. I did, I got the Daisy award. Yes, because you love your patients so very much. And I mean, there's so many nurses that do that. Don't get that award. Don't get me wrong for anyone who's listening. But just that's the level of care that you provide for your patients. so I just let me back up a second. You talked about, you know, a big sister, little sister being hooked up with a big sister. First of all, for those that don't know what that program is, can you describe what that is? Yeah, so it's essentially a youth mentorship program for any youth that could benefit from having like a positive role model mentor in their life. you, someone, an adult probably is who gets you involved because you're a child. But my grandma was who got me involved. She had heard about it. And so I remember we answered, we met with this guy, we went over some questions. And then they told us like it could be like weeks, it could be months, like we want it to be a good match that like it's gonna be successful. it actually, we matched pretty quickly. And then, yeah, uh I think you sign up for about a year is like the goal is like that you at least consistently meet at least I think weekly or, you you might have something come up and it could be bi-weekly, but. um you commit to that and then if it lasts longer than that, great. They like support you through that. And yeah, I think it changes a lot of people's lives. Yeah, and I saw that you had posted something about that semi recently. I myself was a Little Brother and a huge shout out to my Big Brother uh Allen. And he was just incredible. My first match was not a match and I won't get into all that. um But Allen came in shortly thereafter and being a product of a single mom, you know what I mean, like being raised by a single mom. and visiting my dad only a couple times a year, he really did step in and didn't really like try to make me into something I wasn't, you know what mean? And that's what I really appreciated was that he just was there for me to kind of talk through stuff and be a resource that maybe my mom would not have been able to fulfill. And I'm assuming you kind of experienced. Something similar in that regards Chandy not I mean you had your mom and your in your grandma, too But uh just an outside source that you can kind of rely on. Yeah, yeah, it was very much like just an extra support person. And like there was things I probably felt more comfortable talking, her name's Lisa, to Lisa about than I probably did my grandma or my mom. So yeah. That's incredible. so leading the witness a little bit here, but are you still in contact with this Lisa person? Yeah, we work together in the NICU. We get together. We get together a decent amount. I was in her wedding two years ago as one of her bridesmaids. then we actually are in the process of planning a trip to Mexico next year. So we were very much in contact. That is, like what is that like working with your big sister that you've known since you were 11 alongside her taking care of these beautiful, beautiful babies? It's a very full circle moment. um We actually, I mean, we talk about it all the time. We're like, how weird is it? we, now we work together. Like it's just, it's not as shocking, right? Like we've gotten used to it, but it still is just like, I don't know, surreal. little sister, Big Brother, little brothers that can say that. that's just incredible. I love your story. It's just amazing. As far as that NICU is concerned, did you, no, let's back up a second. Have you always worked in the NICU? I was a CNA before nursing school uh and did more like it was out of rehab center, but I worked more in like the dementia care side of things. And then during nursing school, I got into the nurse tech program. And so my first rotation as a nurse tech was actually on the meds, meds surgical floor. uh And then I really wanted to do NICU. So I was really hoping that they would place me in the NICU and they did and um I probably would have tried to get into the NICU anyways, but I just loved it. I was like, have to work here. They have to hire me. I don't know how to make them, but they have to. I felt the same way about Peds Oncology. was like, please, I literally told them, said, I'll go anywhere you want me to go in this Peds world, but this is what I want to do. Like, I'll be just as terrified here as I will be anywhere else, so let me just at least learn what I'm passionate about from day one. Please, pretty please, dear God. I really like that the NICU has very family-centered care. um So it's not like I went into the NICU because I didn't like adults. I like adults, but uh most parents are just so thankful that you're even there. And then to be able to make sure that they do feel like they're still taking care of their baby is something that I'm pretty passionate about. So I think that played a huge role. And so that leads right into what it is that I wanted to ask, which is what are many of the things that you love about working in the NICU? I really like the happy moments, like milestones. I like to personally sign up as a primary for babies, which is essentially any baby that is expected to be in the hospital more long term. You sign up and if it works out, then you get assigned to that patient every shift that you work. um So it's like consistency for like the parents, you get to know that baby and you you do really pick up on like the small things probably faster than just someone who's just getting to know them that first day. So I really like that aspect. And then um crafting, which I know is probably not what most people think of and not every NICU nurse crafts, but I really like doing that. I could definitely do it more night shift, but um it's still very important to me. I like go into every shift thinking like. You know, most NICU babies do go home, but I've seen kids that I, it was completely not on my radar that anything could have happened to them or they could have got sicker than they were. And so I go into each shift, if they, what if they don't make it till tomorrow? The parents need to have the hand prints. They should have a craft. I just really liked that aspect of the NICU. just, again, that's why you're there. That's why we all are where we are. And, uh, but just to take that to, cause there's so many that I imagine still passionate about their patient care and things like that and come in and do the job and go home and all the things, but like you just bring so much extra to the table. And I'm sure that your families are just, they have to be just incredibly blessed to have you as their nurse, Chandy. I appreciate that. Yeah. So then let me, let me just kind of, guess, to bring this full circle with what you started with, you know, and talking about your mom and talking about grieving and talking about grief uh that you, you know, kind of was sort of were dealing with and didn't want to bring up sometimes during nursing school. I imagine that that ability to navigate grief has helped you in some way in your current profession. Is that true? And if so, how? Yes, I think it definitely has. um You know, there's been times where I feel like that's where I advocate the most is towards the end of life because I think that a lot of people who maybe haven't experienced as much grief yet, like they, I wouldn't say they don't understand it, but you just aren't anticipating things that you don't know to anticipate, right? So like for me, it's like, If the family wants this person to come visit before they withdraw care, then like that's what we need to make happen. It's not about us, it's about the family. like COVID, it was really interesting because, you know, we could only have like one parent at the bedside at one time. So I feel like it's definitely impacted how I deal with end of life care in the NICU. And I try to pass that on to other nurses who might not understand either. There's been a few times actually, like reminding them like this is their parents' last day. Like for us, it's another Tuesday. We'll probably remember the baby, but they're going to remember their nurse and their experience for the rest of their life and like that. Sometimes we forget that. So very true and so poignant. mean, like how, for those that would ask, Chandy, like, I wanna work in the NICU. I wanna work in the PICU. I wanna work, you know what I mean, somewhere where death isn't necessarily the rule, but it definitely happens way more often than other floors, areas of nursing, for example. If someone were to come to you and Chandy, how do you, I practically, What advice would you have for someone who wants to do those things and wants to know how to deal with those difficult shifts that for some nurses are just another Tuesday? I think that I hear that a lot people are like I could never do Nikkei you you see such sad things but you and you do see sad things but I'd say you see a lot more good than the bad overall and I you know I still struggle like I'll have a bad shift or like we'll have a bad code and like I leave the hospital feeling terrible it just it is what it is I I believe that taking time for yourself is important. I'm in counseling, which definitely helps to be able to talk about things. But don't know, like I said, nursing does fill your cup. And even in those sad situations, you do make a difference. remember, I have very specific nurses, I could tell you their name to this day that took care of my mom that just made like an incredible impact. Mm-hmm. forget them and they have no idea that I feel that way. So I just try to encourage people that do want to do it that like it's worth it and if it's not you can transfer to another unit like you're not stuck in nursing but it's worth trying. Yeah, 100%. Well said. Well said. On that note, do you foresee yourself ever doing anything other than the NICU? is this kind of like, I mean, obviously we'll never say never, but is this the goal? Like, the goal is the NICU career for the rest of time. I think I would be happy doing I don't know. I don't have kids yet. So like, feel like a lot of times that's what impacts people's decisions for their career. So I could see myself doing something different. You know, if NICU ever, I don't know why it would, but if it ever rubbed me the wrong way, I had a really good experience when I floated to PICU. So I've always thought, like, well, if I ever want to leave, I can go to PICU. um In nursing school, actually, was like, well, if I don't get a NICU, then I can like work in maybe like labor and delivery or mom, baby or something like that. I just I like babies. I wouldn't say I'm like I like pregnancy necessarily, but I think it's like a very it really interests me. Like even just research that goes on, like I like reading about that kind of stuff. So maybe something else in that realm. But otherwise, no, I would be perfectly happy staying in the NICU. See, that's, I love the reason why I asked that, right? Because I mean, as you know, I started out in peds onc for a number of years and then transferred over to postpartum mom-baby. And it's, you know, it's just one of those things where for me, peds onc was gonna be my whole career. And uh I was rather surprised, again, it wasn't some external circumstance. It was me, it was my heart that could only take so much. And I finally reached a point where I was surprised that like, even with all the things that you're mentioning, I finally reached a point where I was like, this is like actually literally physically affecting me and emotionally affecting me and my loved ones and the people I interact with on the daily. And I just was like, I'm going down this road and I could see what I would become if I stayed on it and I just couldn't do it. And so I love that even, you you're talking five years into your career and you're like, yeah, this is what I wanna do. But also I recognize. There are other things I could do. Like you said, something happened, something rubbed you the wrong way, if you needed to go a different direction, those directions are available to you and that's what makes our career one of the best careers on the planet, right? Yeah, I agree completely. uh So I want to ask, so because, this is gonna, this feels like a very ham-handed segue into a, as I said, we go deep and then we kind of wade our way into the shallow with your episode. But uh with this, I'd like to ask you this question, which normally I would ask earlier in the episode, but I think it has a lot to do with what you're talking about now. And that is what things inspire you most in life? Yeah, I really liked watching Grey's Anatomy. I'm not a huge TV show person honest at all. And I feel like all I heard about Grey's Anatomy was like, it's not like medically accurate. Like that's not actually how it goes. But I think that Grey's or even just the writer Shonda Rhimes that she touches on like a lot of social issues, a lot of things that are maybe considered, you know, not very well talked about in society. Mm-hmm. so many people are kind of privately feeling the exact same emotions or that same devastating diagnosis or, you know, a lot of people pass away in Grey's, in Grey's Anatomy. So like, it also touches on grief pretty heavily, I feel like. And everyone's a different experience with that. So I really liked watching that show. um And yeah, I think that that that a lot of people probably also like the show for that reason. The other thing that I find really inspiring is I really like quotes. There's an Instagram account, it's called We Are The Urban, and every few days or so um the person who runs it posts like a series of quotes that are just I feel like a lot of people can relate to them. I usually share one on Instagram every single time that they post because there's always something that I relate to. I feel like that inspires me. I even set them as my wallpaper if I really like it on my phone so I can just reread it every time I open it. This is so cool and I love that it's to me it sounds like a source of I don't know I mean inspirationally feeding yourself right? Because you you meant yes you you mentioned earlier you know you talked about sometimes just having a positive attitude not a toxic positivity but you know a positive attitude and just trying to you know see the best in things facing uh the worst of things with the best of attitudes you know that it's You can only, some people can manufacture some of that in your own self, but that has to come from an outside source. For some, that's God. For others, you know what I mean? For others, it's inspirational books, inspirational quotes. And that's why I love that you put that in your response to my prompts here, because man, you've got to feed yourself. I guess that's why this podcast is this, right? Feeding Our Young®®. But legitimately, while you're doing your job, you cannot. What would I say? You can't pour from an empty cup, right? Isn't that so cliche? But you just can't. And so you've got to continually find a source that fills your cup so that you can then fill the cups of others, right? Yeah, exactly. So, Chandy, thank you so much. I could just spend hours talking with you about these things that you are so passionate about that I feel like just sitting here with you for a half hour has made me a better nurse. And I know that if I'm feeling that way, that there are others who would do the same. So if you don't mind, we'll close in our traditional manner. You had selected three words that you used to describe nursing school. What were they again, and why did you pick? They were stressful, competitive and challenging. And I probably would start with competitive first because I feel like nursing school, like so many people want to go to nursing school, but it is really hard to get into. And once you're in it, it's kind of hard to get through. um you know, the people that end up doing nursing are the people that really stuck through the whole process of just getting the opportunity to try. So I'd say, um That's probably one of the harder things just prior to doing nursing is just how competitive it was. Like it feels like you have such good grades and you want to do it, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you get to. And then I'd say stressful. I touched a little bit about how COVID made that a more stressful experience, but you know, we all graduated and got through it. And then challenging and that probably is I mean, it's not even probably, it definitely is because of losing my mom just prior. um Yeah, all those things, think all those describing words sound a little bit negative, but also it's not, it's something you get through and it makes each thing after that a little bit easier. So although I probably wouldn't sign up for the same experience, I don't necessarily regret it. I've learned things from it. Yeah, I feel like those of us who have gone through various grieving things and the difficult challenges in life, and I know that for each that means something different. know, anyone who's listening is picturing something in their own life that that would be applicable to. But like that... what you just said right there. Like, yeah, I wouldn't choose this scenario again. I wouldn't choose this particular way this went down again. But because I had to go through it, I'm now a better person because of it and therefore I can be grateful for it. Like, does that make sense? it, yeah, yeah, awesome. Well. things can exist at once. It can be a hard time, but still be positive. Yes, yes, and that's something that I think especially nowadays we, myself included, ah still need a reminder of. Yeah, ah, incredible. So if you had one piece of advice, one thing you wanted someone to walk away from your episode with, and if this was the only thing they could carry with them, what would that be, Chandy? I think that it's important to find something that fills your cup every single day. And I think that a lot of times when things get hard, people forget that. So my advice would be just to always. keep that in the back of their mind to look for the good in things, but also just to be self-aware too. Like you said, when you switch specialties, like that's a level of self-awareness and just taking care of yourself as well. So I think that's what I would tell someone. I think that's a great thing to tell someone. Well, Chandy, thank you so much. It's been an honor sitting for a little bit of time with you here this afternoon. Thanks for dropping the wisdom, and I look forward to seeing you around the hospital someday. Yeah, thank you for having me.