178 - Lily Wright Pt 2: Where There's a Will There's a Way

Continue with current student and Spokane, Washington native Honored Guest Lily Wright as she opens up about exactly why she is so open about her medical history, why she chose nursing, how she ended up at her chosen university, what she loves most about nursing school, balancing social life with school life with medical life, her answer to the age-old question “how do bad things happen to good people,” her practical tips for organizing life, disability advocacy, the importance of learning to say no, her future career plans, and more!

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to the part B flip side, Lily Wright Experience. um If you are just catching this episode, then I highly encourage you to go back and listen to the first episode first, because in that episode, Lily details, uh as I described it, a mind-boggling medical journey that began when, well, she was born, basically. And so, um thank you, Lily, for coming back for a second part here. It's been so long since I've talked with you. How are you doing? No, and something we talked about in that off period there between the two, just a question for you. Because it strikes me how open you are about discussing all of these various things that you have had to struggle through, with just such candor and professionalism and all of the things. so I don't know, this like a, why? Why so open? It definitely took me a very long time to be so open about things, but it honestly started with telling one person and then telling the rest of my friend group. And then I attribute a lot of my openness to Youth Rally, which is a camp for kids ages 11 through 17 with these bowel and bladder conditions or any condition that affects the bowel and bladder, not just what I have, but also like spina bifida or other things. And that's where I truly learned how to be open with people who can understand what I'm going through. in that and through that, I've slowly opened up to the point where now I would rather be open upfront about things and spread awareness about things so that people don't have to suffer. And silence is a lot of the older generation of people that have my conditions have had to deal with the suffering and silence. And I just want it to be a part of normal conversation and something that people shouldn't be ashamed to talk about. You're just amazing, my friend. You're just amazing. Well, before we continue on this, and in fact, we'll dive into the nursing school portion of your journey now here. But before we do, let's just open up with a couple more fluff questions. Just relax. Speaking of relaxing, if you ever get a chance to do that when you're not knee deep in studies, what are the things that you like to do? uh What floats your boat? I really like being outside, especially when the weather is nice, but also even when it's raining too a little bit, just like to feel the rain. But I especially really like biking. It's one thing that I just love to just go on a bike ride, feel the breeze. And it's less like it's easier for me than even walking sometimes, easier on my back and everything. And then I also just love like pitching up a hammock and just enjoying the evening sunset and reading a book or crocheting while hammocking. And are you able to do that amidst your nursing school studies? Are you able to squeeze some in? Okay. It's important, right, for balance? Yes. um And then with that, I know you have a little bit of a work history too. So what do you want to share about that? would say I already touched about Youth Rally. I went there as a camper starting when I was 13 and graduated when I was 17. And now I've been back every year since 2021. 2021 was online, but since 2022 in person as a counselor. And that's something that's been super fulfilling for me in the summers. It's volunteer work. It's not paid work. but I've been able to mentor, I like the older crowd just because I've been able to mentor those campers and help them with through life and through figuring out adulthood and college and things like that. And I've also started an adoptee specific group because there's a very good handful of both counselors and campers who were also adopted with these conditions. So I started that two camps ago. and we're doing it again this year. Oh, that's so inspiring. Okay, well then let's talk nursing. Your heart is evident, obvious. You've had medical issues, so check that box there. We've already established that your mom could be a nurse. So she's not officially a nurse, but she's more of a nurse than I feel like in the moment, you know what I mean, at this moment. So I guess all these potential factors, why nursing for you, Lily? I think that it's because I, growing up, didn't think that I could ever be a nurse or ever be in healthcare period because of the conditions that I was born with. I guess it was kind of me limiting myself and saying I can't do this, but then I met people along the way through camps, through social media that have taught me that you can be in healthcare. I know a doctor who was also adopted from China. and he has some of my conditions and he is a gastroenterologist at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. And I know another nurse who's had 70 something surgeries with my condition and she works at the hospital that she grew up in. So people like that have encouraged me and just sort of showed me that it is possible. And Also, I want to be able to be a resource for patients and families that, you know, they aren't alone and that it is possible to do these things because I'm doing them. It's possible for you or your kid to do them too. no better reason to be a nurse in my book then. Well, let's talk nursing school then. I mean, so, you you decide you want to be a nurse. How'd you land at Gonzaga? Let's start there. well, I applied to Whitworth and Seattle Pacific University and I received, my email from Seattle Pacific saying that I got into their nursing program while I was in the hospital. Actually, I had to have another partial, pelvic reconstructive surgery that landed me in the hospital for seven or eight days. and during that time I got the email saying, that I got into their nursing program. And my mom kind of just threw it out there like, why not Gonzaga? Because I thought it was it was hard to reach like Apple at the top of the tree and I'm barely five feet, I'm 4'11 on a good day is what I tell people. So like out of reach school, but my mom just kind of nudged me and was like, might as well try, there's no harm in trying it. And so my mom helped me, hit, my button for my Dilaudid PCA and I was like, okay, we're gonna fill out the application, I guess, for Gonzaga and that's kind of how I ended up here. Wow, that's incredible. Well, I mean, you're still here and as you establish you graduate soon. How does that feel, by the way? Um, it feels surreal. Like it's, I've been stuck in school for so long that I'm just like, whoa, like this, I'm going to go have a career. It's happening, you get to be the grown up now. uh Not saying that students aren't grown ups, let's not twist that around. uh an adult with a lowercase A. I haven't reached capital A yet. I love it, neither have I. Tell me how you do it. um Okay, when you get there. ah No, so then I guess what do you love about nursing school? I, or at least for Gonzaga, I really love the community. All of my professors have been phenomenal. My clinical instructors, everyone have been amazing. And then the friends that I've made along the way, our cohort, I feel like is super close. And we all just like to support each other and we get along very well. And I just am very thankful for the tight knit community that has been created through. Like it's obviously, us choosing as nursing students to not be competitive against each other because that can sometimes happen in school, but to get along. But also our professors like kind of modeling that for us and like creating more of a learning nurturing environment rather than like something where we're competing against each other all the time. And that's huge. I think that's a big difference, right? There's a lot of competition getting into schools and getting into programs, et cetera, et cetera. And then as we've established clearly before on this program, like that stuff needs to go by the wayside at that point. At that point, you're competing with one person and that's yourself. And that's just making yourself a better version of yourself, hopefully each and every day, which is not realistic necessarily, but maybe every week, maybe every month, maybe after a little while, you're gonna be a little bit better than you were before. And that's the competition that really needs to be in the forefront when it comes to nursing school. um So of course, uh as we've also already established, nursing school is hard. Nursing school comes with inherent challenges all on its own. And yet also, now you have duly informed us on why it becomes a little extra challenging for you, and you've also teased a little something extra as far as something that happened during nursing school. So I'll let you answer this question however you please, Lily. And that is... Would you care to share about any challenges you've had in life at nursing school? Yes, so going off to college is a big step for anyone, let alone people who have the same conditions or even anyone with a disability has, you you have to figure out, what accommodations can I get? And like, what's housing going to be like? is, what's it going to be like making friends? When do I tell my new friends? All of the above. But in addition to all the like, quote unquote normal stuff that people struggle with transitioning to college, you are also 18, or at least I was. And now all of the medical stuff falls onto you because instead of your parents, like instead of my mom's scheduling appointments, communicating with doctors, it's now me as the primary person. And that's a whole thing in and of itself to navigate because you're seeing the bills pop up. mean, thankfully my parents have, you paid all the bills and stuff, but it's still stressful to see all the bills popping in and then to have to schedule your own appointments and sometimes do your own appointments without anyone there where my mom was always there for every appointment I pretty much had. So that was definitely a big thing. And another thing that's specific for anal rectal malformations and bacterial is that who do you go to when you are all grown up, so to speak, from the pediatric hospital perspective? Now, this is kind of a blessing and a curse, but I've had too many issues to be graduated from the Children's Hospital. blessing and a curse, it's definitely a double-edged sword. Like my team um at Children's is amazing, but also I can't stay at Children's forever type of thing. it's just, and there's only two specialists in the U.S. that take adults and that are certified in adult care in these things. and they're both on the East side. So it's, kind of am stuck at the moment, but I'm happily stuck. I wouldn't want a different team, honestly. But yeah, I had some flares and my amazing quality of life surgeries that I had to do the flushes stopped working all together. So instead of just an hour to an hour and a half, I was spending two, three, four hours a day trying to plan around when my bathroom schedule would be because that's how long it would take for the program to work, for the bowel program to work. And so I would have to plan social outings or events or studying groups or all these things around when I would do my flushes. And it was definitely very, very challenging to get through. that portion because the doctors didn't know what was happening. So in addition to them not knowing, I'm getting all of these tests done. So I'm scheduling appointments, I'm getting tests done and I have to travel all the way to Seattle for my tests because they don't do them here. So I'm having to plan around like natural breaks or having to say, I can't go to school this day because I have to go to Seattle. Thankfully telehealth is a thing. So a lot of my appointments could be in between classes. But still you have this big appointment, you have bio class in the morning, you have this big appointment, and then you go about the rest of your day after this appointment, you go to your next class and it just keeps going because we have so many classes. So that's been, that has been probably a huge challenge in nursing school is just balancing like social life with school life with medical life. Like it's all woven, jumbled and it's, oh something that I had to kind of learn. No one could really teach me how to do that. Like I had some mentors who were older than me, but still I was having to figure it out for myself. Yes, I'm trailblazing for myself, yes. Or even figuring out can I even work while I'm in school and these things, which spoiler alert, I can work while I'm in school and doing all these things. And but that's still, you know, another thing to add is working, trying to make money, trying to, you know, provide a living for myself. And especially when you move off campus, you're not paying the dorms through like scholarships anymore. You're paying your own rent and things like that, which thankfully my parents do help me pay rent. But the day to day stuff like groceries and stuff, you know. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you right now Lily, don't, sorry, you have long ago earned your adult with a capital A, okay? Like come on now, oh my goodness. Wow, wow. I mean, and I wanna go back to what you said, the way you phrased it, you you're just talking about, you know, balancing, and we've talked on this podcast a lot about balancing your social life with your school life and how to, and yet for you, your medical life. is so prominent. It's such a, you know what I mean? It's like, hi, remember me, don't forget me, you need to pay attention to me. It's the neediest baby in the room, right? Like it's always crying, always wanting attention. When this all went down this flare, like what year was that or is that current or where were you on this timeline? started like my senior year of high school after that reconstructive surgery and went on until basically until like I'm technically still dealing with issues with my medical stuff. But, um, this past July in 2025, I finally said enough is enough. I can't deal with this bowel routine anymore. And I got a permanent iliostomy. So for three years of your nursing school career, you're dealing with all this extra flair, like all that. Yes. Okay, so I mean, how? How do you, for anyone who's listening and going, you know what, and again, we're talking physical ailments, we're talking physical stuff in the body and all the things, maybe there's some that are listening that are like, you for me it's crippling anxiety, it's PTSD, it's depression, it's bipolar, it's whatever, fill in the blank, and so maybe it's more of mental health thing, but those can be. as equally crippling or demanding as much attention. have to schedule these appointments. I have to check in with my meds. I gotta do these tests. gotta etc etc. So what's your advice to someone who's listening going, my gosh girl, how do you how do you do this? How do you keep a level head? For me, and this is something I've had to learn, is that your friends are gonna be the people that can really get you through the day. You don't have to even tell them, but for me, I'm actually more introverted than I thought I was, but when I'm around my people, like my inner circle, I don't even have to tell them if... something is going on, but just being around them, being around the people that I love, trust the most, uplifts me, honestly. Um, it's something that I've always relied on friends and family. And, also for me, it's also a spiritual life. I've had my battles with God, you know, we, I've had the yelling prayers, those types of, wouldn't even say conversations. It's just been more like yelling back and forth, I guess. Um, but I've had, that to also lean on, you know, a church who has wrapped around and cared and prayed and things like that. So just a combination of not using sounds weird, but like using the people around you, relying on the people around you and asking for help is a big thing. I hate asking for help. It's something that you need to know about me. I am the most stubborn person ever and I hate asking for help. That is something I've had to learn throughout my journey is that it's okay to ask for help. that's, and it's so key, you guys, it's so key, especially for those who are really strong, independent folk. It's like you're preaching to the choir here, my friend. Well then, let me ask you this. I have to ask this question too, because there's always that, you you bring about the spiritual side in your conversations with God. My wife always joked, you know, there's no, it's no secret that our first son died many, many years ago, and my wife, I always say when I first see God, when I die, go to heaven, when I see God, I'm punching him in the arm. That's what I'm doing. I'm gonna punch him in the arm and then I'll be able to worship and all the things. And you know, tongue in cheek and whatnot, but there's truth to that. And so, so many people, the why me, why, you know, good things happen to bad people, this keeps some people from believing in any sort of sovereign being that even cares about us. What would be your, like how do you, the way you're, beautifully and wonderfully made with all of these challenges. I mean, what do you have to say to that topic of why do bad things happen to good people? How do you believe in a God in spite of that? That has been, that's the question of the century, isn't it? It's been the question of time. um And I honestly don't know if I have like the best answer, but whenever I ask myself why me, I say, well, thank goodness it isn't one of my siblings, or thank goodness it isn't one of my friends, or if this didn't happen to me, then who would be here to help this person? Like my campers that I mentor, like the ones I always, try to stick with the graduating group because after they graduate, we're allowed to be in contact and I'm allowed to help them. Like I had a camper reach out asking me about what job she could get this summer, but she has so many medical appointments and so many flares and things like what job can she even get or what can she even do to make money around all of these things and she's in the hospital more than I am. and has more appointments than me. And I told her, well, if you're okay with it, house sitting is a great one, dog sitting, things like that, front desk worker where you can sit and make your own schedule. I was able to give her advice. And, you know, if none of these, if I didn't have the experiences that I've had, I would only be able to sympathize, not empathize. Yeah, wow, that's a deep answer, my friend. That's a deep answer. I love it. And at the risk of getting a little more shallow, because the other competing question that I had in my mind is, of course, I mean, you talk about leaning into your team, into your support people, using, relying on your friends. You know what mean? We do. We use each other. That's the whole, like, we do need to use our friends for help. We cannot do it on our own. But I see what you're saying with that. But that, and you've touched on the spiritual, but is there anything, like I'm picturing this, like if you have a scheduler, it's gotta have so many colors and so many things going on. Do you have practical tips on how to balance, like you just said, your school life with your social life, with your medical life, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. it's definitely very hard and my friends who like, are on campus, like from high school or friends I know through camp, they always joke that, you know, I need to just send them a calendar link to like schedule in. and believe it or not, I've never been a person to use a planner. I don't know how I've gotten through nursing school without like a planner calendar thing or even a long line planner. Yeah. just plug in when my classes are. I plug in when each appointment is. I make sure to add it to like my calendar, but I don't have like something that I check things off with even for homework or anything. I don't know. I'm just kind of type B chaotic like that. but it just, I would say you make time for the things that matter. And for me, if it's a connection, with a friend from camp or, a random parent in one of the support groups I'm a part of asking for help, I make the time. I shift things around, I make it work, because there's always, you'll find a way, like where there's a will, there's a way. That's what I grew up hearing all my life, is where there's a will, there's a way. And if it matters to you, you'll find time for it. Yeah, So then, mean, I don't wanna, before we go off on anything else, you've kinda touched, is there anything else you wanna touch on as far as nursing school is concerned and or any challenges or lovely things about nursing school? Oh, no, I think just like the community and just I find fulfillment in nursing when friends were begrudgingly waking up. I was actually it was kind of an outlet for me. I'm not going to lie. It was a place where I can turn off my brain from my own medical ish like like stuff and be able to just help other people. That comes with its own triggers with the whole PTSD thing. But all in all, like that has been a good outlet for me is to be able to focus on someone else outside of myself. That's incredible. And so then before we talk about future plans, which is kind of where I'm headed, you've already mentioned it in multiple ways, but you wanted to talk about disability advocacy. And so, I mean, you can recap things that you've already touched on. What else do you want to cover under this umbrella topic? I think that disability advocacy is a huge thing, especially um in nursing, because there's not that many health care, or just health care in general, health care people from what I've seen in media or people that I've met who have both sides, have seen both perspectives of being in the hospital bed versus being at the bedside. And that's why I think advocacy is so important. I was actually the president of the disabled student union on campus for a year, but then nursing school got too busy and I had to say no to things. That's another thing, learn to say no. Yeah, learn to say no. You can't do it all, is what I've learned. You'll get too burned out. But in that, I organized a partnership with our nursing club, GSNA, on campus where the members of DSU basically shared their personal experience and basically shared what they would want a nurse to know about what it's like to be in that hospital bed. the nursing students had the opportunity to learn and ask curious questions about, you know, what could I do differently? How could I approach this? How could... Like different things like that to have a conversation in between the two different groups. And I got a lot of really good feedback in that both DSU members and GSNA members benefited from that conversation that we facilitated. And that is why I think advocacy is so important because it shows one, the person who has a similar condition to you, you're not alone. Two, it's okay to talk about your struggles. And three, it's so important to advocate for better care or better quality of care or just different things that can cause barriers because thankfully with my disability, yes, I tire out easily, but. I can climb a flight of not usually more than two flights of stairs, but like a flight of stairs or something like that. But if I was using a wheelchair, you know, that's why we have ramps. That's why we have elevators now is because people with disabilities advocated for change and for the system to be better. that's another thing that one of my big advocacy thing, advocacy topics is transition of care for people like me. in that we don't have many people to transition to from pediatric to adult care. It's basically non-existent. that's incredible. again, it just speaks to our, I'll toot your horn for a second, but I mean, it just speaks to the quality of individual that you are. You know what I mean? This is, you guys, this is why I love going to work every day. You know what I mean? Both as a nurse and then especially as an educator. And it's true with, if I'm teaching at Gonzaga, it's true if I'm teaching at Wazoo, it's true if I'm teaching at SCC. I don't care where I'm teaching. I don't care what students I meet. Like this is what gets me going because these are the kind of people that are just like you can't walk away from the same way that you started with. You know what mean? Like I am a different person sitting here just chatting with you briefly, Lily, and I can't thank you enough for that. Like that's incredible. So I mean, bridging the gap between education and nursing, I've made that leap. I've been a nurse for quite some time and very soon you will no longer be a nursing student. Very soon you will be our peer. You will be a registered nurse and the smile on her face just saying that. It shows what kind of work is being put into that. But what are your plans after you get to uh call yourself a nurse? pass my NCLEX, obviously the big one. Yes. Yes. Um, but I'm really trying to pursue a career in, Peds or NICU. That's kind of where my heart is at. because I believe that, yes, I can connect to adults and I've been able to connect with adults a lot, but, to create a new generation of adults who aren't ashamed to talk about their struggles and stuff, you have to start, you know, young. And that's kind of why I want to pursue pediatric care and also that pediatric care does do more focus on the whole family. And as you know, someone who's experienced things that affect my whole family, it's such an important part that I would love to be able to speak to, to support and things like that. So I'm currently waiting to hear back from another job. I had an interview last week, so I'm waiting to hear back from them, but I have current offer for a NICU position right now. Congratulations, congratulations. my goodness. that's, I guess that speaks towards too, you guys. Don't, you may have a dream to do this, that, or the other. You know, throw out, don't put all your eggs in one basket, even if that's your favorite basket. And this is, you know, I'm not necessarily a good example of that because I knew I wanted peds-onc, heme-onc out of the gate. I wanted to go and do it. And that, but I guess the flip side was I wasn't going to be devastated if I needed to go a different route to get there. And so, like you're saying, you I've got a NICU job lined up, but I've also got an interview here. I've done, and so many students, that's the way to go. You know, just multiple interviews, multiple, give yourself multiple opportunities. And there may be that one that's, you know, way out of reach. Like you're saying that way too high and that really five tall, five foot and a half tree that you can't reach. And that you'll be surprised that maybe you will reach it. So. No, I think that, I think those fields would benefit um very heavily by having you in them. And so best of luck to you. I can't wait to find out where you land. I better find out where you land. Just saying, my goodness. All right, well, I will, can't resist the urge. The last catchall question before we close in our traditional manner, was there anything else that we, that just somehow skipped my mind, skipped your mind that you wanted to cover before we close with our traditional questions? I think another thing about the education advocacy piece real quick is that when we were talking, it was in one of our early nursing fundamentals class, we were talking about continence, and diversions for continence, whether urinary or bowel. um I... basically asked, you probably know, actually no, you do know Jen, you interviewed her for the podcast. I asked Jen if I saw that that was coming up the next week and I asked her if I could share some of my own products. And that's something that I actually ended up doing was we were talking about urinary, continence care, and I brought in, I think four varieties of catheters, that one that had like a bag attached to it. that was for travel, one that was like this big, that was compact. like, like I just basically showed off all the products that I had and I opened them and I passed them around the entire class. And I think that's something I might want to pursue in the future eventually is education just because all of my peers like knew me as a person and then they got to see this other side of me. And I think that's so important to see the person before the illness because A lot of the times, you know, patients come to us, they're ill. That's all we see is the illness. We don't get to necessarily see the person behind that. And that's also why I think advocacy is so important because yes, I have a disability. Yes, I have all these challenges, but I also am someone who loves to travel, who loves the road trip, who, you know, just like loves to hang out with people, loves dogs, like all of these basic things that make a person them. that I think is so important about the whole advocacy and just education piece. I am so glad you said that. ah It's a habit, it's a bad habit, and you see it all over healthcare, and it drives me nuts every time, and yet, how many times do you hear, okay, we're gonna put the liver lac into room 10, we're gonna put the, and we're describing people by their diagnosis, you let's put the vectoral girl in room 25, you know what I mean? No, let's put Lily in room 25. Lily who loves to travel. Lily who's been quite around everywhere. Lily who was adopted from China. Lily who loves to advocate for, you know what mean? And oh, by the way, who also is here to be treated for something associated with bacterial. You know what mean? that's, that's, we have it backwards and it drives me nuts. So thank you for saying that the way you said it. All right, Lily. Well then with that, you chose three words to describe nursing school, you adult with a capital A. What were those three words and why did you pick them? The three words were doable, community, and resilience. So doable was kind of reflective of my medical journey and the I can't do that or that's out of my reach. So I want to say that nursing school is completely doable whether you have these extra challenges or not. It's going to be hard, very hard, but it's definitely doable and where there's a will, there's a way. And then community is that really find your people, find your inner circle, find the people that you can text in the middle of the night or that you can have like life altering conversations with or people that you can just sit and watch a show together without having to say anything. People that will just be there for you, like lean into the people around you and really utilize that inner circle because That's why like friendships are so important. It's because I was told in therapy one time that it's an honor to burden someone with your troubles because that shows that you guys have reached a certain intimate level of relationship that it's a privilege and honor to get to burden each other with your troubles and to walk through that with each other. So that's why community is such a huge thing. And then last but not least, is resilience. Nursing school is hard, but it's hard for a reason. You you have to know your stuff, but because it's hard, you're going to get stronger from it. It's going to help build your resilience and like reinforce and kind of mold you into who you're supposed to be. Yeah, very well said, very well said. Well, there's only one thing that someone's going to walk away from listening to your episodes with. Just the last nugget of truth, the last practical point, the last whatever you want to call it. And what is that one thing that you want someone to carry with them from here to the end of their life? No pressure. I would say find your people, build that community, lean on it and find the resources around you. When you're in school, you're paying for all of these, this plethora of resources, whether you're struggling in class, whether you're struggling personally, you know, they have resources or at least at Gonzaga, we have resources where you can go get tutored. You can seek mental health help if You can go see job help with your applications and things like that. Use the resources that are around you because they're there to help get you to where you want to be. And then also, just like, everyone is there to support you through your journey. And so there's no reason why you shouldn't ask for help from people. That's basically the gist of it, honestly. There's nothing more I can say about that. Amen, hallelujah, I love it. Lily, thank you for taking time on this sunny Friday afternoon inside talking about nursing and all the amazing things that you opened the door to. So thank you so much, my friend. Yeah, and thank you, Eric, for trusting this random girl who DM'd you on Instagram and asked to be on your podcast. 100 % I mean you go to Gonzaga how bad could it be right? uh No I am am honored to know you and I have I am just I'm glad to have made your acquaintance through this so thank you. Yes, and thank you.