Feeding Our Young®
Encouragement for today's student nurse... and life lessons for the rest of us!
Have you ever heard the phrase “nurses eat their young?” Feeding Our Young® is more than a podcast – it’s a movement. It’s a desire to see new nurses of all ages be supported and uplifted by their peers.
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Feeding Our Young®
180 - Welcome Back Morgan: Has it Really Been Two Years?
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Welcome back very first Honored Guest, previous nursing student, and now full-fledged nurse Morgan Johnson as she reflects on being the first repeat Honored Guest and updates us on how life is these days, her practicum experience, her NCLEX experience, her practical tips for NCLEX prep, if she ended up choosing med-surg after all, expectations versus reality, work-life balance, her practical advice for working night shift, her plans for the future, if her love for nursing has changed in the two years since we last talked, her story about patients needing to understand a nurse’s job, the piece of advice she would give to her former self, and more! Listen to her previous episode - Episode No. 2 - by following this link here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2359836/episodes/15309890-2-morgan-johnson-perfectionist-no-more
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Hello and welcome to this very special "Welcome Back" edition episode of the Feeding Our Young® Podcast. And it's the very first "Welcome Back" edition. Um I have a few Honored Guests that have reached out to me semi-recently and said, uh, hey Eric, remember how you talked about like maybe we come back and update what we're doing and all the things? I'm ready to do it. And I'm like, sweet, let's talk about it, let's schedule some dates, let's do this, let's do that. And uh and so uh let's be real. you know, life is busy, life is crazy, and time passes relatively quickly. And so here I'm sitting here, and I and I thought about it as people were right and it's only been a couple people that have said, hey, let's let's do this sort of thing. And I thought, you know, before we entertain them, I gotta reach out to our very first Honored Guest and I said, you know, to myself, I said be i th the it'd be most appropriate, of course, to cut my teeth on the special "Welcome Back" episode being the very first one. Being the very first Honored Guest who did the very first episode way back when. So, um, with that, let's just not waste any time. The one, the only I can't wait for you guys, like, let's find out. Is she just as joyful and bubbly as she was two years ago? Is she cynical now? has time weathered her? Is she the living embodiment of the meme that goes, you know, the the everybody's seen that meme, right? Where you see, like, hi, I'm a brand new nurse and they look all Perky and preppy and cute. And then there's the side by side picture with this haggarty old whatever. Ah, I've been a night shift nurse for like a year or something like that. Let's find out if she embodies that. Or if she's still the same old Morgan. So without further ado, the one the only Morgan Johnson. Morgan, "Welcome Back! my gosh, Morgan. I'm like I and I gotta t people behind the scenes, like I call someone ahead of time, you know, hey Morgan, hi, like here's how we're gonna get into studio. Let's remind how things work, blah blah blah. But I had to do everything within my power not to sit here and like, my gosh, so what have you been up to? Because we're gonna be doing it for the podcast. I'm gonna make you do it twice, once for me, and then once for everybody. Yeah, so So So no, and I it's so I first of all, thank you, Morgan. I'm so excited to like reconnect with you. my gosh. And I we were chatting a little bit beforehand and we talked about, you know, it's been two years. I can't believe it's been two years, and yet life is life, and you know, I've made no bones about some of the things I've been through in the last two years, so s in some ways it feels longer than two years. Feels like there's been a couple lifetime sandwiched in there. I would agree. Yeah. Okay, I'm ready. it's an ego stroke on my part. No, but how does it feel being the very first Honored Guest? You know, back then I told you, like, I got twenty of you that said yes, sixteen of which ended up uh, you know, coming on, four four ended up backing out, which is fine. I'm not gonna name names. No, this is not the purpose of this. But how does it feel like I and and I I told you then, I was like I don't know, it might be the sixteen of you and we're good good to go. But how does it feel being the first of what is now one hundred and thirty-four Honored Guests and counting? Wow. Okay, that's incredible, first of all. But also I think it's so cool to see like the impact that you've made on not only future nurses, but also like current nurses. Like I know there's still nurses that listen to it, you know. So it's so cool to be able to um contribute to the rising profession of nursing in this way. So kudos to you and thank you for having me. well, kudos to you, because you were like, Yeah, Eric, I trust you enough, let's do it. And both of us have separately, not at my request, but both of us have separately re-listened to her first episode. Uh some things never change over time. So today was my 220th half marathon, uh, in my life. And I'm like, what better way to listen to Morgan's episode than while running? Uh but some interesting fun facts for everybody because Golly, 134 Honored Guests. I can't even this is not an ego stroke. I legit cannot believe I've sat down and talked with 134 people. That counter doesn't go up talking with you today, Morgan, because we already talked with you once. So you're not a unique individual. It's just Morgan again. Exactly, exactly. And so this is the I mean we will have at the time of this recording. I I haven't published this many. But I've recorded 195 episodes. And so I I it's we're getting close to the 200. And I was almost like, my gosh, it would be so cool if Morgan could be like the 200th. But no, sadly, you will not be the 200th because because the other side of this is the date situation. And uh so I look back and Morgan, you and I sat down. I it's just we're reminiscing. I'm sorry guys, this is a welcome to the first "Welcome Back" episode. We're gonna reminisce for a second, but is. As who er it really is. You know me well. Um but no, I go back and I think about like 'cause the first two episodes I recorded, episode I wanted it to be episode zero, which was just me talking, uh, but the Riverside wouldn't let me do an episode zero, so it had to be episode one. But episode two, the very first Honored Guest episode is you. And I don't know if you remember, but I was sitting in this conference room, a giant teaching room at Gonzaga, which was very cavernous and kinda echoey. And I did not like any of that. And as I'm listening to it today, I was like, you can't really even tell. Okay, great. Um, because I'm not that I haven't upgraded since then. I'm I just do it in my bedroom at this point. But but but it's just weird to me that like two years ago, and we recorded on June 14th. Um today uh is June 5th, so we're just about a week, you know, just over a week shy of exactly two years ago when we recorded. but the reason why Morgan's episode is getting bumped up, it's not episode 195, is because I wanted hers, this episode, to release within one day of the two-year anniversary of the first episodes dropping, which were yours and mine. So Morgan, I just it's like full it's a full circle moment and I'm so happy that you're willing to do this and and just part of all this fun. Yes. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to excited to be here again. Absolutely. Well, um, I guess we've kinda already touched on the answer to the question here, but I've posed that hey, are you as s you know, have have you become a cynical bitty old nurse? Or are you as bubbly as you have been in the past, you're at least as laughy as you have been in the past. So how you feel on these days? Good. Life's good. Work's good. Home life's good. It's all good. Yeah. Kind of what we were talking about when we started. Like, it's crazy to see how much has changed in the last two years. And like the the previous episode that I was on was I still had a year left of nursing school, which I just can't even believe and fathom. And I still have practicum to go through and the NCLEX to take, and now here I am. Like it's like all of those happened centuries ago. I don't know. And it it does it feels like it, doesn't it? I uh and and if you don't mind sharing for the audience as we chatted before we started, and I said, Hey, so my plan is to you know, let's just maybe pick up where you left off. We're gonna maybe talk about your practicum experience and the NCLEX. And when I said NCLEX, what was your response to me? was like, wait, I've done that? It's been And it was it's only been about a year since you took the NCLEX. And yet you've already put it out of your mind. ah So let's let's do as I as I say. I you guys, we're not going down a straight timeline here. Let's just get caught up with Morgan. Cause I do have some very pointed questions. I I kinda have these ideas of things that I wanna ask guests that are coming back, especially people like you, Morgan, uh who maybe recorded their first episode as a nursing student and now has had experience and um that changed it one year of experience, y'all. One year. I I don't even less than that. You it ch it does. And we're gonna find out how it changes you, but let let us go ahead and get caught up. So you were one year into your nursing uh school adventure, you had one year left, and so practicum, I guess talk to us about practicum. Did you get what you want? Where'd you go? How was it? Yeah, I was at a local Spokane hospital for practicum Sacred Heart, and I was on the cardiac floor, cardiac med-surg, and I honestly I liked the med-surg aspect of it, but cardiac was not my forte. And that's exactly what practicum's there for. Like it's you know, there to figure out what you want to do. Do you want to do this? Um, or what floor do you want to go apply to moving forward, etc.? Um, and I just I liked the critical aspect of it, but the cardiac aspect of it wasn't my favorite. Like the monitoring and all that, it wasn't my favorite. So I learned a lot there and I'm so grateful for my time there. And I had amazing, I had two preceptors. I have mostly had one though, and she was amazing. The best preceptor I've ever had in that capacity. So 10 out of 10, but I just didn't love the cardiac floor. But like I said, that's what that's what practicum's there for. So yeah. Yeah. Yep. you I mean there are people that get practicums that aren't anywhere near what they think they're gonna go into, e if they have an idea. And so the fact that you even got part of it um is just awesome. And you were able to rule out Cardiac at the time too, at the same time. So never say never. Never say never. So you got through practicum, you graduated, I distinctly remember your pinning ceremony, so many tears, like you just Oh yeah, I yeah, I was talking about you. That's what I meant. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't talking about me. Um so you graduate, you're you're you go to pinning ceremony and all the things. Um I mean, how did that feel to finally achieve that goal? Crazy, insane. Like it's like I think pinning ceremony, like at Gonzaga, we did the pinning ceremony one day and then um graduation the next day. And I am like bound and determined that pinning ceremony was like the end all be all. I was like, that is the most incredible thing ever. I was so special. I'm such a crier that I cried the entire time. I cried on stage. It was just so sentimental to me and it was awesome. Um, so that was very surreal and to know that like, okay, this isn't like the end, but this is like the beginning of so many good things in my career that are coming up. So it was very nice, very good ceremony. Yeah. Awwww and then you take the NCLEX. So you have to sit for the NCLEX. So if you wish, go ahead and I mean how did you prep for it? How long did you wait? And what was the NCLEX experience like? Well, I took the NCLEX we graduated like May tenth, I wanna say, 2025. And then my NCLEX was the eighteenth of June, 17th or 18th of June. Um, so a little over a month. but I didn't start preparing until the first week of June. And I did that. So I took a vacation and I really there's pros and cons to like I'm out of here, I'm gonna dodge town, you know. Some part of me was like, Man, I really wish I could just take my unclicks and get it over with. Other part of me was like, Okay, I needed that reset. So pros and cons, but I only studied for like a w No you're good. was that was that five week wait because you chose that so you could go on vacation or was that the earliest like available slot you could sign up for? I actually chose it because I was on vacation, but I chose like I think I chose like late June. And then I was like, okay, I'll give myself like a month to study. And then June, the first week of June, I really hammered down. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna study for the month. It's gonna be like rise and grind basically. And after like a week, I think it was like a week, and I was like, there's no way I can do this for the next month. Like, I just am gonna do it or I'm not. And it's fine. Like if I don't pass it, I can always redo it. But I just the anxiety that it was bringing me, I had to get it over with. So I signed up for one like three days later and I took it and here I am. I mean, I obviously studied like I studied that whole entire time and it was rise and grind for those few days, or like that, it was like a two-week period, 10 days or something. And yeah, so here I am. I successfully did the NCLEX. Yeah. otherwise we're having a different conversation. Uh so what's it like being a gardener now, Morgan? Um no I um so the I mean any practical tips for anyone listening that's like my gosh, it's coming, I'm dreading it. Like is it as bad as they said it was? And then what what are your practical tips for getting prepared for? I'd say it wasn't in some aspects it was as bad as I thought it was gonna be. In others, it was much better. Um, I think Gonzega specifically does a really, really good job. And kudos to all the professors that like phrase test questions exactly like the NCLEX was. Um, I really appreciated that. We had Kaplan all throughout nursing school to help prepare us, and we did like Kaplan exams and things, which is an NCLEX preparation something. Ha ha ha ha. And so we did course. Yeah, it's a course, exactly, yeah. So we did that, yeah, nurse brains. So we did that all throughout nursing school and I think that was really helpful. I ended up choosing Archer though, like right when I started studying, I did like a seven week or a seven day trial of it, and it was really that one I liked because you could see the uh like you could be like above average or like How would it go? Like above passing or passing or still have to study type of thing. So all those exams that you took, if you got like above passing like five times, for example, then you were more um likely to pass the NCLEX. So I think that gave me a better vote of confidence than Kaplan did. And I would say that the NCLEX NCLEX questions were more like Archer. So pros and cons to all of them. I was very thankful for Kaplan all the way through nursing school. but just like last minute decision to do Archer really helped me. Um, and then I also watched or I would listen to podcasts. I would go on a walk in the morning and I would listen to the podcast as like background noise. And then I would to study, I would sit down and I would re listen to the podcast, take notes, and then do a couple exams that day as well. And that seemed to help me. And what I didn't know, I would write down and study a little bit more. So yeah, that was good. I will say I studied for the NCLEX. And then the last day I was like, I'm gonna take the whole day off. It's gonna be great. I'm gonna sleep, all these things. I did not do that. I decided to study more. And it was a terrible decision. So the last day, sleep, like do what you do, have fun, take the time for yourself. Um, because the next day is a big day. So I'll never forget I took this test on the last day of studying that I told myself I wasn't gonna do, and then There was like this really weird name of something and I was like, I have no idea what this is talking about. But you know what? It's not gonna be on my NCLEX, so I don't need to know it. And then yeah, and then the next day, one of the last questions was this and I was like, You're kidding me? I don't know what that is. I still don't. Well and it's it's funny 'cause you're almost now making the case to study that next day'cause you're like, here was this one thing that you didn't know what it was, and yet it showed up on the test. Uh Yeah. Yeah. let that be true that you don't have to study the first day or the last day, I promise. I mean, you don't know what it was, so you might have got it right. uh You you didn't feel super confident about this weird unknown thingamabob. my gosh. No, and I I I appreciate you saying that and um you guys s you you if you haven't got if you if you're not a longtime listener, you know what I mean, you're just picking up maybe here at Morgan's case or whatever, go back and listen to episode 169. Uh that is uh Karli Petruso's second episode and she details she talks about um failing. Her NCLEX and her the way she prepped the first time, and then she was like, No, I because as soon as she failed, she was Eric, I want to be on the podcast again. I want to talk about this experience. I want to be totally open and honest. And she talks about everything she did, including cramming, studying, and cramming is never a great it may work in nursing school. It may work it definitely works in high school for some of us. But but but it does get you, you know what mean? You can you can still get some results with it. With the NCLEX, it works against you, right? Would you say that, Morgan? Yeah. Um, awesome. So you pass the NCLEX. Congratulations, yay, so exciting and all the things. You talked in your first episode about maybe like doing a half summer, like taking a half summer break, just enjoying life before you do this career you're gonna have for the rest of your life. Were you able to do that, or was it just the little vacation? yay, okay. Tell us all about that. I started August 18th at my current job. And that was the best three-month summer I've ever had. Like I crammed so much in. That was part of the reason why I just wanted to get the NCLEX done and over with too, because I didn't want my whole summer to be devoted to it. And I knew that like you just have to be confident. Just be confident and it'll work out. So I knew that it was gonna work out one way or another. take it again or whatever the universe held for me. So um I definitely fit a lot in in last summer for sure. Did a lot of trips, saw a lot of family that I obviously hadn't seen being in school for a while. So yeah. Yeah. I think we're related. So yeah, a lot of things happen a lot of good things happened last summer. So it was a good summer, a grand finale. Yeah. also would would you describe it maybe as a pressure release, you know what I mean? Like a after all the four years before? Yeah. It was so weird to just like, I don't know, I wanted to really soak up the last summer and like it's just now being a nurse for a year, you have to take PTO and you have to like like it's just so different than just like picking up and leaving whenever I wanted. So I really took advantage of that last summer and did all I could. Now here I am taking PTO. Well, and you're able to start your career without any regrets in that regard, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Cause I mean there's some people that are like, Nope, I got my job lined up, but I'm starting as soon as I pass the end NCLEX. And that's great. Everybody's a little bit different. Whatever works, but man, I wish I could have done you know what I mean? Like one hundred percent. okay, so the way I wanna ask this, you know what mean? You said in your first episode, that you were so thankful, you know, why you became a nurse, right? You had that Pretty blonde nurse in blue scrubs when you were five, and then fast forward to high school and there and you fast forward to high school and there was a teacher who had said, you know what, Morgan, you love the sciences, you would make an amazing nurse, something you should think about, and that seemed to solidify that for you. So now do we love that teacher still or do we hate that teacher after having a year in the fire? Love her still. Love her dearly. We still are in contact. Love Dr. Santucci. She's the best. Um, I think I've just learned a lot. Like it's, you know, it's a really special profession. It's really incredible to be there with somebody at their most vulnerable stages of life, whether that's a celebr or you know, you're celebrating or you're grieving the end of life or whatever walk you're in, it's really special to be there. So I applaud Dr. Santucci for encouraging me to. Pursue the profession. A and y you said you all are still in touch, so when you I mean, I don't know when this happens, but when you told her for the first time that you did actually become a nurse, like, is there something like what what what was that like for her? Was she just so excited? Like were you like, Hey Yeah. my gosh. never forget. I texted her on the way home from graduation. I was driving home and I was bawling the entire car ride, of course, because I just left all of my people in Spokane, and I'm a nurse now, I guess. And I that was overwhelming to me. But um I texted her and I like, Dr. Samsuchi, like I finally did it. And she was in all caps. She's like, I couldn't be more proud of you. This is the best thing ever, and just so sweet. So She's she's great. Well, and I to me that feels like, you know what I mean, we've talked about and and you've probably definitely experienced by now, you know, patients who are so grateful for your care, the impact you've made on their life, et cetera, et cetera. And so like that's the that must be the teacher equivalent, right? To hear a former student go and and she knows she you know, said, Hey Morgan, man, you should just consider this and yet here you are, your whole life trajectory solidified at least, if not created, because one teacher Mm-hmm. Made that impact. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, so you've been a nurse for a year. You you took your amazing summer. Uh in your first episode, you talked about how weird you were and wanted to be a med-surg nurse. no, I not weird, not weird. No, and it was not I mean, I get yeah, it's a hot take. Let's not say it's weird, that's a little judgmental, I feel like. Um, no no no, but I mean it it's an unusual hot take. It's not where most people land. And so is that what you did? Describe first I mean, have you been at the same job for the last year? What what what'd you do? What are you doing? I did pursue med-surg and I love my job. I I'm part of a nurse residency program, which I think is very common when you graduate now. Might just be on this side of the mountains, I don't really know, but you graduate and basically you have a year long that you're a part of like different classes and different mentorships and you have a preceptor. I had a preceptor for four months and yeah, so I was able to do days, I think I was on days for like a month and a half, and then I switched to nights. Um And had different preceptors, obviously, but I had four total preceptors, and I think that really gave me a wide perspective of different nursing approaches and um workflows and all those different things. Um, so yeah, definitely love med-surg still. There's pros and cons, but ultimately I do love my job and I think I made the right decision. I think med-surg is really um unique in the sense that you get a lot of different um cases and a lot of different um diagnosis and things, which is really cool to me as a new grad, just because I feel like I'm learning so much and really soaking it all in. Um and I don't know if I would have that opportunity on another more specialized floor. So I do think I made the right choice. It's been it's been good. Yeah. up answers, you know, I mean, one of the questions I wanted to ask you was, did you make the right choice? And so, um obviously it'd be a little awkward if you didn't and any of your peers happen you're like, I don't nobody listen to this podcast. You don't want to hear anything. At least just skip over this one episode. No, and I I I'm that just makes my heart happy. You know what mean? Like 'cause some people do. They have this idea of what they want to do in nursing school and then they hit real life and it's like Yeah. you know, for you maybe maybe a little bit of that was in practicum, right? Like you're like you're like you're like oh cardiac okay, yeah, okay. That part, no thank you. Um so let's just let's ask that question then. That's alright. We're we're having such a great time. AirPods are flying out of our ears. Um, so let's ask that question. Talk about expectations versus reality. What did you think it would be like and how has your actual experience compared? Like two big expectations that really stick out to me. And I think one of them came from I'd say they kind of both came from um clinicals in nursing school, to be honest with you, because that's all I ever knew. Um, my first expectation, which is crazy of me to even think, but I was like, I'm gonna love picking up shifts, I'm gonna love going to work, it's gonna be awesome. I'm gonna pick up all the time. And let me tell you, I was 100% wrong. I picked up once and I hated it. So Um, and I think mostly because our hospital's so well staffed that that's my other expectation, but um it's so well staffed that when you pick up you get like the bottom of the totem pole. Like you are not doing good that day. So like you're getting floated to places you don't want to get floated to. So I think that's probably what stemmed it, but also I think it's really important to have a work life balance. And I felt like when I picked up you just didn't have it. Partly because I'm on nights. So like you prepare all you sleep all day, you prepare all day for it. And then they call you at 5 30 and they either cancel you or they say you're coming in. So to be canceled at 5 30 after you just slept all day messes you up. So I picked up what I I signed up to pick up a few times in like a two-week period. And I was having horrible sleep. I wasn't seeing my people. Like it was just horrible. So I d I didn't love it. So The reality is that you really need a work-life balance. You need time away from work. And ultimately that makes you a better nurse and just allows you to pour into your patients better because you're giving into yourself too. So that's my first expectation versus the reality. And my second expectation is that work would be a one-man band and like I would be doing things all by myself. And I would be like hunting down nurses in order to find answers to my questions. But I really don't think that's true. And I don't know if it's just my hospital, but like I said, we're so well staffed. That like at this point we're almost a one-to-one nurse tech ratio, which is just incredible. Especially on nights, which is crazy. then in addition to that, we have our nurse resource, which is a nurse that just floats around. They don't have their own set of patients. So they're floating around and can ask or to answer any questions or do med passes or help with wound cares or whatever we need. so I think that expectation, like, I'll be in it by myself, like it's I'm just gonna go to work and be miserable. is a hundred percent not true and I'm so grateful for the staffing and the a management's awesome. Like I ch I really don't have complaints other than feeling a little burnt out, but that's it. Yeah. Well, I mean, okay, then let's talk about that. Let's, you know, this is a obviously a positive podcast. I had one person, I God bless her, I loved it so much. She was like, Yeah, sometimes like she goes, I've been listening to your podcast and it's just really helped me get through, you know, some of my you know, she was going back for advanced education. I said, thank you, that means so much. She goes, To be honest, every once in a while it's little too positive for me, and I needed something a little more a little more real, a little more cynical. I get it. not my space. Like I totally get it. But let's talk about like you just use the words burnout. You've been a nurse one year. And you just you know, you're talking about feeling a little burnout. So what does that feel like in someone who's been doing the job for a year? It's not necessarily the job that's making me feel burnt out. It's unfortunately the patient population that we have right now. It's a lot of psych. We don't have a psych floor at our hospital. So I'm getting and I kudos to psych nurses, bless their hearts, because I don't think I could do it full-time. But I feel like I'm doing it part-time right now because we've had a lot of them recently, and I think. I really love psych patients, honestly, but at the end of the day you really feel burnt out. Like you're just like chasing them all night long. Their bed alarms are going off. They're calling for random reasons. And it's just it's hard to see. Um, like they don't know where they're at. They're, you know, they're saying things that I know that don't hold true to their heart. So it's hard. At the end of the shift, I'm like, my gosh, is it them going crazy or is it me? Like I'm gonna go home crazy. So out crazy in this scenario and who No, and i I'm glad you bring that up because it it's something we're talking about here even still back ho you know, here in my home. We we have talked about as nurses just how poorly psych is there there's not the the resources to meet the overwhelming needs that seem to be in society currently. And and and it's so hard to watch, it's hard to be part of uh because man, people I like this is just if anybody wants a guaranteed job for the rest of your life, become a psych nurse Become a psych nurse. Yes. Yeah. providers. We need people with compassion for people who have those issues. Um and I I I have compassion, uh having, you know, some mental health stuff in my own family, but not enough to make a career out of it. So, you know, let's be real. Let's be real about it. You know what I mean? so you talk about this, you know, mm oh not burn out with the job per se, but maybe with current circumstances. And you tou Yeah. A and you You're like, this is new. This is brand new, everybody. I anticipate it maybe going away, you know, right? After a little bit. Yes. Um, but this does then segue right into what you had already touched on, which is work-life balance. So you said it's super important. What does that look like for Morgan? My work life balance, I definitely take advantage of my days off. Um, like I go places, I see people, even on my days, like this could also be a hot take, but I flip every like I'm night shift, right? So I but I flip immediately like that same day. I only take like a two-hour nap and then I flip back so that I can like see my people. So that is a big work-life balance thing for me. I think if I slept all day and like recuperated and recovered from that shift, that I would just miss out on a lot. So even though I'm Losing a little bit of sleep and maybe some sanity, I'm seeing my people. So that's important to me. And doing fun things and it's worth it. Um, yeah, definitely. I have a schedule where I have five days off every other week, so that I take advantage of that. It just happens to be over a weekend too, which is nice. So yeah. so when you have those five days off, do you still do the two hour nap and then like get about your first day? Or because you have that longer leash uh off of work, do you end up sleeping a little bit more? You know what I mean? And then making the flip. Yeah, I'd say like I'll go to bed at like ten maybe that day and then I'll wake up at like two PM. So a little bit longer of a nap, but I can still go to bed at eight PM, no problem. So I can flip. No problem. Yeah. you know, I've never been ageist, I'm not gonna be ageist, but that is there's a huge difference between doing that in your twenties and then doing it in your thirties and then uh in your forties. Like I d I started feeling the difference. Like for me I could even 'cause I started a as a nurse at thirty, right? And I could still I could, you know, sleep for it'd be about four, four and a half hours on my, you know, first day off. and then feel functional again. You know what I mean? Or at least drag my butt through the day enough, then go to bed at a normal time, and then I was good. Um but as I got older in my forties, it genuinely like it I needed five, five and a half. the four, four and a half I just felt sick and all the things. So age definitely does play a part in that everybody. sure. Yeah. I don't recommend for everyone, but if you're young, you can do it, do it. Well and and so that brings me to this question that popped into my brain while we've been talking about night shift, and that is just your practical advice for those that are like, Hey, you know, we're probably gonna have to start night shift and I don't like it, I'm dreading it. So what is your practical advice to everybody as far as like what do you do, w what helps you? I'd say I actually kind of a little background. I distinctly remember talking to my managers. We had a manager meeting, just like we had it monthly for the first three months. And I remember telling them it was my last one on days, and I was like, I'm actually terrified to go to nights. Like, I hate the schedule that I have that was provided. I said it in a kind way, but I was like, this is gonna suck. And I'm here to say it didn't really suck as much as I thought. I only had like three days off at max during the preceptor time. Which wasn't my favorite. I'm very grateful for five now. But um I would say prepare before, like I used to be able to sleep until like ten AM and then I would go back to bed at one for whatever reason, thinking that I would be tired enough after only being awake for three hours. But I was wrong because I would never sleep and like I going to bed at one, hoping to get up at like five for my shift, I just couldn't sleep. So now I wake up early, like six or seven, and then I um I'm able to go back to bed at one and wake up at like four or five and then start my stretch of shifts. And I'll say, like, the first night's gonna suck. You're gonna be tired. If you can sleep on your breaks, like sleep on your breaks. I do that. And then um the last day, like flip back pretty quickly so that you can still see your people, like we've chatted about. So that's my night shift advice. It's really not as bad as you think it will be because you learn so much. It's I think there's this stereotype of like nights is so quiet and like Yes, I said the key word. I said it. But Here you might I you legitimately in talking with h what hundred and plus, you know, nurses and nursing students and educators, you might be the first one to use the quiet word here on the podcast. Legitimately. my gosh. Um, okay, maybe it's like slow, I don't know. But um, I think there's a stereotype that it's like slow or the Q word. Um, but it's really not like recently, and again, maybe it's just me and like I was actually talking to one of my mentors recently and I was like, I don't know if it's just me or if it's the floor right now, but I am questioning my time management. Like it sucks. Like I feel like I can't even get my six med passes done by ten. And I used to be able to, no problem. So I'm like, what is going on? But she's like, it's not a you problem. Look at the floor like it's just crazy. So around like the two to three AM time, there's a little bit of downtime. And I think that night shifters really take advantage of that and soak in a lot of learning opportunities. So there's pros and cons to night shift. I I'm learning to love it. Some night shifters take advantage of that and soak in a lot of learning. Others of others of us that that if if you got that lull and and I guess that's kind of one of the main differences, right? Like I feel like again, there is a misnomer that night shift is quieter. Or you know what I mean? I mean it is in the sense that there's less bodies, you have less resources, but there are less people bothering your patients and coming in and in and coming around and all things. But guess what? People are still sick. Um, oddly enough, like diseases don't like sleep at night. no, it's very strange. And some actually like wake up more at night. Uh and so with all of that, um, you know, night shift is still busy. However, now having been a day shifter for a good couple of years after 17 years of nights, I will say, like, on an average night, regardless of what unit I had been on. Typically you're like you had just said and you kinda confirmed that for me. There's a little bit of a lull, right? Like about three AM, typically about three to four on a really good night, three to five. Um, but then you're ramping back up for, you know what I mean, all your six o'clocks and all the things. And and man, like it's so like I I I never clocked out missed break. you know, even if I didn't quite get a break, because there were times we're all sitting at the nurse's station just having a good time and and laughing and doing the and you're like, Yeah, no, I'm I I I can't morally justify, like, yeah, I missed my break because we were having fun. Now on Day Shift is a different story. I've clocked out more times, missed break, but that's a whole different ball of ax, right? Like, whatever. There you go. Night shift, day shift, loads of fun. Exactly. So I mean, you've been there a year, and I've I've heard some. I wouldn't call them horror stories. There may be horror stories for some, but you know what I mean? You've been there long enough There's some peers even in from your class that are like, you know, uh or the even the cohort before that it's like, you know, I after a year I was getting, you know, I I'm orienting people. I was asked to be charge. I, you know, I I at at one year at one year I have some of the most experience on my floor. Like, you know, you hear some of these things. So for you, is that something you've experienced? Have you precepted anybody yet? Ironically, yesterday one of my nurse residency classes was a preceptor class. So we're um gearing up to precept, which is crazy to me. We don't have students on nights, so I haven't had students. I know that some um people from my cohort actually at Gonzega have had students because they're day shifters at my hospital, so they've had students already, but um yeah, no, I the thought of being charge right now is terrifying. I feel like I don't know enough. Yeah. Yeah. incredible charges that I would never ever wish to take their position. They're amazing. So, um, but I feel like there's a lot of opportunities to like excel in your career, even though you're not like precepting or you're not being charge or you know, there's lots of other movement that can take place. So I'm happy with where I'm at, but look forward to whatever's to come. Hopefully not charge anytime soon. But I would I wouldn't be mad about precepting. Yeah. Well I love and I I love it when this happens, Morgan, because then like my next question for you, like you are creating the natural segues into the next questions that I'm like sitting here furiously typing to make sure that I don't forget to ask. Yeah. The next one was what are your plans for the future? oh my gosh. Well if you even if it's as simple as do what I'm doing now and do it better, you know what I mean? Like do you I I'm not saying you have to have all these major goals, but what if what you've been in the job a year. What does the future look like? I think, okay, honestly, I've never looked for jobs more than I have recently, only because of the burnout. But now that I'm like, I feel like I'm getting out of it, I was able to take six days off. No PTO, by the way. That's the pro of nursing. And I feel like I was a little bit rejuvenated. Oh, not even a little. I was rejuvenated from that time off. So I feel better. I'm not as burnt out. I just needed a break. Like I said, work-life balance is so important. Um but I With that being said, I was looking for outpatient jobs because I love bedside, but I just I'm like, how long can I do this for? But something yesterday in my um residency class that we were talking about was that it's hard to or it's easy to want to leave what's comfortable, but once you actually leave what's comfortable, it's like whoa, like now you're in the uncomfortable and it's hard. So I'm not ready to leave. Like ultimately, the more that I've thought about it, I'm just not ready to leave. I love my people, I love my schedule. Why would I? Give up five days off. And there's just so many pros about it. I'm learning so much. So I plan to stay and then see where it takes me after that. But I mean, like I said, there's opportunities to grow. Our units really been pushing med or certified med-surg nurse um going through that exam process and stuff. So and I have to wait two years anyways with that. So that could be something in my future. So there's things that like I could do to change it. but I'm comfortable where I'm at, so I it's hard to leave, especially when it's so good and my management's amazing. It's just hard for me to want to leave. So that's my plan. Stay where I'm at. that's that's so awesome. I mean, here you are, you said I wanted to be in med-surg, where most nurses are like, dear god, I hope I don't have to go to med-surg. and like I said, we need passionate med-surg nurses. No, I mean you know what I mean? And I hope there's plenty more Morgans out there. I want a Morgan taking care of me, God forbid if I ever end up, you know what I mean, on a med-surg unit. That being said, you know what I mean, and so to hear you here one year out. saying, you know what mean? No, I I kinda like you know what I mean? I I like it. I I like where I'm at. I'm comfortable where I'm at. I and it sounds like you've got a great team. Um and that's a huge part of it. Um because you can go somewhere, you can always be like, well a and there's something to be said that for that whole cliche, you the the grass is always greener on the other side, right? Um, you know what I mean? D you don't want to become that person, listener, who is like, well, you know, I'm happy where I'm at. But I feel like I just need to try something new. And whatever. Like if that's your if that's your style, by all means go for it. I just what I guess what I'm trying to very poorly say is there was someone in my life, and I won't say who this person was, who was very much like the poster for the poster child for The Grass is always greener on the other side, and I saw it throughout their life, and It was kind of a it was more of a defeatus like I am in a miserable place in life, but it'll be better if only if I can go do this thing. Or only if I can go do that thing. I guess that's what I'm cautioning against. Um, you know, Morgan, there there's nothing wrong, right? Like with you you're going, man, we're going through this rough stretch. I'm looking up outpatient stuff. Like I just I'm curious, you know what I mean? I wanna see what's out there. Yeah. One hundred percent. And that is a healthy, healthy thing. Um and so no, I appreciate you opening up about that, you know what mean. Um Well ask ask hypoth hypothetically speaking, well then I before I close in I guess an untraditional it'll be a traditional "Welcome Back" manner, but it'll be untraditional compared to the standard episodes that I have here. but before we close in what will be the new traditional manner for these types of episodes Okay. oh touched on it throughout, but that is this. How about your love for nursing? Has it diminished? Has it remained the same? Has it increased? And why? Think it's stayed the same, if not gotten better or like stronger, I guess. Um, I think that it's hard to be an inpatient nurse, it's hard to see some patients we've had for weeks. We recently just um discharged a patient that had been there for six months. Like it's hard to see people again and again and again. Um, but it's also really incredible to like I touched on in the beginning, to be with someone in a really vulnerable stage in their life. and you know, I think that. I think that So everybody's so w she's chuckling 'cause there's uh is it the fire alarm? Are you about to die? It was the dishwasher. Hey everybody, Morgan's dishes are done. Uh no, I promise you nobody is gonna hear that. So that's why I'm like pantomiming to her like, no, it's okay, keep going. And she's like she's lost it. So yay, okay, Morgan's dishes are done. Continue. That's my chore. no, in all seriousness, I think it's increased. but it's hard to see people again and again. Um, but it's also really incredible to be such a special part of their life, like you know, in a really vulnerable time, um, kind of like I touched on before. So it's hard, but I think it's made it more special to me to see people like in clinicals. We saw patients like one day, maybe again, if we had a back-to-back clinical day, but to be their nurse multiple days in a row and to know the people. You get to know the family so well, which that's my favorite part. Like I love to know the families and patients and where'd you come from? What'd you do? All the things. Um I've learned a lot, like obviously on the floor, but also from those patients. You learned so much. So I think my love for nursing has grown. And it's like made me you always think like, okay, where do I want to go next? Like how can I like you, how can I change the up and coming profession of nurses, you know? So It's yeah, I think I made a good choice. I love nursing. I would recommend it. Ten out of ten. Yeah. I love it. And that's one year in, everybody. We're gonna talk to ten year Morgan, assuming this thing's still running. No, I'm just kidding. to twenty twenty thirty I can't even Ugh I can't my wife is like she always she can't stand it 'cause she'll be like, Okay, so have we you know, have you thought about this vacation in a few months and da da da I'm like, It's way too far out there, man. I got too much stuff right now. I know, let alone ten years. Goodness gracious. okay, so I don't know how this is gonna work. We're gonna try this. What the hey? Um, but there's a few closing questions that I'm gonna ask you, okay? The first one, I mean, I just want to get this one out of the way, but I'm also curious, uh, because I'm curious how it compares to where you were before. Because when we recorded, I wasn't asking the standard question, what are three of your favorite songs in life right now? But I think I did get three, you know, retroactively. I wrote To those of you that I I hadn't asked that and got songs that were your favorite at the time. So, Morgan, what are three of your favorite songs in life right now? Right now. I think I have it like an OG one, but my two favorites recently have been Sun to Me by Zach Bryan and then um See Me Now by Luke Combs. They're just like I love good country songs. So those are definitely some vibey ones that I enjoy. And then this one, some people laugh at it, but I don't care. It's like my anthem song, okay, like if I'm ever dancing or at a wedding or anywhere. I love Yeah by Usher. Like I it's just my I love it. It always puts me in a good suit. It always puts me in a good mood. I'm not ashamed to say I listen to it on my way to work. Like it's just it makes it makes for a good day. I just can't go without it. So there's my up the anthem song. oh now going with these themes of three. In your very first episode, you I always asked everybody what are three words, and still to this day, what are three words that you would use to describe nursing school? You had said honorable, reflective, and onerous. Do those still hold true, or would you change them? And if so, how would you change them? I think that two of them do, um, reflective and honorous definitely do. Reflective. We did a lot of reflecting in nursing school, and I don't know if it was just Gonzaga or certain per professors. Um, but at the time I actually appreciated it, and I know it's hard to be reflective sometimes, especially in like a big group setting of 40 people. But um naturally that's really rolled over into my career, and there's days where I just like sit in silence on my way home driving, like Did I care for that patient? Did I chart all their I's and O's? Like just little silly things that I'm reflecting on. Um, and then like how I made the patient feel. Did I care for them in a holistic way? All those types of things are questions that run through my head. And I think that really stemmed from the reflective uh times that we had at Gonzaga, I guess. Um, and then the second one that I would keep is onerous, it's hard. Nursing school is hard, it's difficult. You're gonna overcome and see so much. Um, I feel like you see in nursing school more than what most people see in like a their lifetime, you know, if they're not in the medical world. So that's hard, especially when you're like eighteen to twenty two years old. If you're fresh out of if you transitioned right out of high school, it's really hard to see some of those things so young. Even now I'm like, um am I really old enough to be doing this? Or I've had comments of like, you have you must be in your teens and I'm like, Well, I'm not that young, but thanks. Yeah. I'm like, boy. Um, so I would keep onerous and I would keep reflective, but I would change notable to resilient just because I think, like I said, you're gonna overcome so much and you're just gonna have to like bounce back. Like I recently had a time where I cared for a patient end of life in one room and I watched them take their last breath and that was so hard for me. And then you walk into the next room like nothing ever happened, and you have to be cheery and smileful smyful. cheerful and smiley and just act like nothing happened and that's hard. So being resilient in that way and just overcoming and being flexible with all that nursing has throughout you is what I would change it to. Yeah. moment to pause here and say anyone who's listening who is not a nurse and who is a loved one of a nurse or is considering nursing school or but has not been through that holiest of changes, uh most onerous of and not honorable is what I'm talking about that on you know, that onerous difficult change. But that that focus on what Morgan just said because I it it's so many tim and in so many nurses, part of what contributes to maybe nurse cynicism is like when when you have those shifts and you're you know you're dealing with some difficult stuff in one room, do difficult social circumstances, somebody's dying, whatever. And you do, you go into another room, and if you're doing your job right. You're making sure that patient doesn't know what you're doing, you know, in the other rooms. And then that patient's getting all uptight because they didn't get their, you know, med five minutes ago or, you know, that sort of thing. And you just you gotta check yourself. But uh all those of you that are not nurses, please, dear God, when your nurse comes in and maybe they're like 30 minutes late or 40 minutes late. I don't know, maybe they're a horrible nurse. But if they're not a horrible nurse and they genuinely seem to care about you, they more than likely were doing something like that. Caring for someone taking their last breath, dealing with a social situation, dealing with a mental health crisis or a code or you know what I mean? It could be any number of things. So uh I I appreciate you saying that, Morgan, very much so. You literally spoke my story. Like I just this family came out of the room and asked for my charge because I was late on their PRN med. And I at Shift Change was like, This is a PRN med, like I can't just bring it to you. It's a narcotic. Like I can't just, you know, lollygag and bring it to you. And they were like, Well, I asked for it an hour ago. And I was Well, it wasn't available, blah blah blah. And they're Well, I'm gonna speak to your charge. Like, go for it. Here's my charge. So I might brought my charge and she's like, Listen, like She's like, this nurse just cared for an end of life patient in the next room and they were like, my gosh. And of course I started bawling Eric in true Morgan fashion. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. They're like, it's okay. And then, you know, just kind of like you said, like, just be aware that like nursing, you're not the only patient that I have, I promise. And if you were, I don't know how it would I would be a hundred percent attention on you, but it's hard. out in your room, we'd be talking all night, like, yeah, that'd be it. my goodness. No, and I mean and that extends to the whole, right? Like, you know, just that general principle of of putting yourself in somebody's shoes and you don't know what somebody's walking through, et cetera, et cetera. Um, just in life. The person that cuts you off, the person that whatever maybe they're you know, who knows? Like if it i emotions are hard to keep in check. And so, you know, when you get angry about something like that, then the best advice is, you know, but Just using the being cut off, for example. You know what I mean? You get cut off in traffic and now people are like, Yeah, the road rage and all the things. I don't know. I just like if somebody cuts me off, my instinct is to go, What an absolute jerk. What? You know, this is ridiculous. And yet I just go, okay. I don't know if it's true or not, but if my mind goes, you know what? Maybe they're rushing to the hospital because somebody's dying. That's what I gotta say to myself, and guess what? That been. Yes. It makes a difference. Yes. Yeah. well, it it sometimes still takes a while, but it's it's there. It's a good first step. So now that you've been a nurse a year, what are three words you would use to describe the nursing profession? I have two that are positive and one that's negative, so I'll start with the negative. And I'm just being brutally honest, okay, that's all. No a hundred percent. Let's go. My first one that's not so positive is overwhelming and I know it seems negative and it kind of could be negative, but it's true because you get shift change from seven to seven thirty with the offgoing nurse and then in my fashion I guess I sit down from like seven thirty to eight o'clock. If I don't have PRN meds or meds to hang or anything like that, and you're like looking at all the orders and looking at labs and meds and all the things and like planning your care for your patient. Um, assuming nobody needs you in that 30 minutes, which is often rare, but um, you really like that just looking at all those orders can be overwhelming. But also like walking into your shift and like driving to work is overwhelming. You have no idea what will be thrown at you that night. Uh, there's been times where I'm like, I love this set of six. Like, can I have them all back tonight? I'll take six, no problem. And then the next night comes and I'm like, I could have taken three of them. Like, that was a horrible shift. Like, total change. Same patients, total change. Um, so that's probably my one negative word. But it's true. And I think even like on day shift, I think I was really overwhelmed. And part of it was because I was new and like I was learning so many things and policies and procedures and all the things. But even on nights, like it can be really easy to be overwhelmed and just use your resources if you have them and other nurses. If you see a nurse just sitting there and you know, catching up with a coworker, then that's like a very appropriate time, trust me, to ask like, Hey, do you mind going passing that med or helping my patient to the bathroom? I'm really drowning in my work right now. So use your people. my second one would be adaptable. Again, you have like doctors are throwing orders at you all the time. Even on night shift we're getting new orders, hospitalists are adding new orders, like it's a 247 job and I sometimes have to remind myself of that. Like if I don't get a daily weight done at 6 a.m. it's okay. The day shift can handle a wait. It's okay. Um so be flexible. Um ask questions when you don't know it. I think that's one of the biggest things that I've taken out of nursing school, which maybe that's a question that you'll be asking. I don't know, but ask questions. Yeah, it's a great a piece of advice from nursing school but also the career. And then my last one is compassion. It's so easy to be um sad with a patient or you know, go through all the emotions with the patient. But I think that when you first walk into a room, the light that you bring into a room and the cheerfulness that you bring into a room can really that's like the first um foundation for your trusting relationship that you're about to build with your patient. So compassion's a big one that you you'll never lose or if you sh you should never lose, I guess, in the career 'cause you'll always use it. So yeah. love it, Morgan. I love it. And I love that it's I mean, these are fresh, you know what I mean? Like relatively fresh answers. And so you having been a nurse for one year, th these are the three things you chose to describe what you're going through. And I absolutely love that. Um, so one last question. This is it. Hi. What is your one piece of advice, the greatest piece of advice you'd give to your former self? And by that I mean the you that you were when you and I talked last two years ago. Tell myself that I'm more ready than I think I am. Um, every like clinical rotation, exam, patient interaction, everything, challenging shift that you had, everything makes you into the nurse that you are today. And I think without those um challenges in school and the triumphs, everything in school, I wouldn't be the nurse I am today. Um that's I kind of have two. That's like my one big piece of advice. I don't know, can I share two? so no just like just like degrees, that's the major. Now let's find out what the minor is. Yeah. but it's still a pretty major one. But I would say double majoring everybody. It's a v on the very fr you are setting the standard so high for anyone who comes back. They're gonna be like Morgan effing Johnson. uh Alright, wha what's the other major piece of advice? Would say keep asking questions. Like I loved questions in nursing school, and I still do. And if I don't know something, it's the first thing I do is I ask a question. I think that's the biggest way that you can advocate for a patient. And I'll be fully transparent. Like the other day, I had a um wound vac, and I've never had a wound vac as a pa as a nurse yet. And we've seen it in school. Like we had a wound care nurse come and speak with us in the lab and show us things, but it's so different to see it versus to document on it and chart it and see it in real life. and so I was just fully transparent with the patient and the offgoing nurse. I was like, I've never had a wound vac. Like can we just walk through it? And the patient was like, thank you for asking that. Like some nurses just try to do it by themselves without actually knowing. And I know better than the nurse. And I was like, well you can teach me tonight. Like we'll learn it together. So never stop asking questions. If you're ever in doubt, you're advocating for your patients by asking the questions. So that's those are my big two. I love it. And and you there's a there's a semblance of n requirement. Like you you are required to check your pride for that second one. You know what I mean? That's what stops you from asking the questions. And so I don't care if you've been doing it a year. Um there are some that have been doing it a long time. Like, I we we were just talking about this the other day at the nurses. Literally just a few days ago at the nurses station. Because we were all talking about like, no, these are like they It was a younger tenured nurse, been in the job a couple years, and she was like, You know, I love it when I hear you guys who have been here, you know, the uh allegedly the leaders, right? Those of us that have been doing it a while, ask questions that even we feel like we should know the answers to, and yet we don't, for whatever reason, or we can't remember, or you know. And so she was like, That encourages me to hear you guys ask the questions, because then it doesn't make me feel stupid when I'm asking my questions. So it that it is major. It's true for your entire career. Yeah. Also it's ever changing, you know, like policies are ever changing and I feel like now they're coming out with like all these which is awesome, but like new NG tube securement devices or new NT tubes for that matter or all these things, like you learn it in school, but you're not gonna always use what you learned in school because it's ever changing. So you always will be learning. Yes, a hundred percent. Yes. Yeah. Yes. my gosh, for sure. Ugh. I lied. I do have one last question for you. Do you own a set of blue scrubs? I kinda figured you did. So the reason I was hoping you did, because the reason why I asked, and that's how I'm gonna close Morgan, is just that first of all, thank you so much. For taking time on your day off, your n you know what I mean, to flip around and and talk nursing in the midst of your crazy busy last couple of weeks. Um, that means so much to me, and I know it's gonna mean uh every bit as much to anyone who's listening to you. Um, but I just wanna say, you know what I mean, like I had this visual, of course, and like you talked about the pretty blonde nurse when you were five, uh, who had made such an impact on your life, and that was the very first impact. That you had in this wonderful career. And you are going to, whether you're wearing those blue scrubs or not, one day being a blonde nurse wearing those blue scrubs, you know what I mean? You're going to have that impact on the future nurses, the the future new hires that you precept. If you go to days, the future students you're gonna have. Who knows where you're gonna end up, outpatient, inpatient. Um, but I can see you already making an impact. You've already made an impact on my life. And you're making an impact on listeners' life and you're going to just continue to be that shining ray of sunshine that you have always been, and I can't thank you enough for that. Yeah. you. Yeah, I'm so happy to be here. I have one question for you. I should have asked it when you asked about my goals. But what are the goals that you have for the podcast over the next year? I'm interested. uh Pressure's on. No, number one goal. I've already got it at the top of my head and it's uh it's low-hanging fruit and it's keep the thing alive. Um so let's you know that's always been my number one goal. Just let it let it have let it have free-flowing blood. You know, let that heart keep pumping. Uh, you know, there's always this fear in the back of your mind, it's a weekly release, right? Like I can always extend that if I need to, etc. etcetera. so that's goal number one, keep the thing alive. And goal number two for the next year, I I really need to start supporting the business have the business support itself instead of my wages supporting it. I've said it for the last two years, and so I I have I mean I I have a wonderful designer friend who I paid to design these things for uh merchandise that I can't get off the ground. I don't have time, I haven't been taking the time to do it. And uh but that is I guess my that that's my minor goal. It's not as major as the first goal. Um yeah, I'm not trying to make money, I just want the thing to support itself. That's all. That's all I'm asking for. So yeah. Awesome. see where it takes you. Yeah. it's just been a delight catching up with you and I just wish you the best, my friend. Thank you, likewise. So nice to be back. Thanks, Eric.