182 - Margie Cooke Pt 2: It’s Like Having 500 Children

Continue with long-tenured nurse and Los Angeles, California and St. Maries, Idaho native Honored Guest Margie Cooke as she discusses what she loves most about nursing, her incredible nursing career journey, how she respectfully deals with conflict and confrontation, the utmost importance of learning more, utilizing kindness and developing fortitude, and more!

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome back to the B side of the Margie Cooke experience. Going back to my LP days, thank you so much for just opening up about yourself in that first uh part. And in the second part, I'm excited to dive into your career. Before we do, there's a couple things that I want to ask still. Uh, because I loved your answers to the questions. And so three fluff questions, everybody. We're not spending half an episode on this. But we did talk about your family. We didn't talk about any potential fur babies. Do you have any pets? Well, we we've always had a dog. So I do have a lab dog right now, and her name is Norty. For I had one named Macy, and so she was Norty, a Norty girl. And so we just have her and she's a good dog. I've had a horse for years. Uh it started off in high school. I would ride horses with friends, and then when we got married, uh eventually we had land for a horse. So I've had a horse for quite some time. I've done some Pretty exciting trips with the horse. And then, like the Chief Joseph ride, which is 1300 miles. I just did a little portion of it, but it was through Yellowstone. And that was just super cool. And then I did the John Wayne ride across the state of Washington. And that started in Easton and ended in Tico. That was about 250 miles. And so I did those fun things with the horse that I those were like on my bucket list. And then I won some alpaca at an ag show. Well, that was the cheapest part of it, winning, because then you have to build the building and you know the whole bit with the alpaca. And I primarily use that fiber for crocheting, weaving, that type of thing. And so we did we don't have the alpaca anymore. And but I still have the dog, still have the horse. Oh incredible. I I just love it's not the typical you know what I mean? Like I don't remember the last person I talked to who had an alpaca, so I love it. Um this is kind of a combo question, but who or what inspires you and or inspires you most in life? Well, I am very inspired by people that don't have everything wonderful. They're physically challenged. Uh like a good example would be Helen Keller, where she overcame obstacles. I have friends that don't have, you know, that had a stroke, but they keep on keeping on. I am so inspired by those people, or people that have had personal tragedy. And they figure out a way to move forward and think forward because it is so heart-wrenching and heartbreaking, and it can keep you stuck. So people that pull through the stuck part and come out the other side, even though they don't, they look back on it and they have grief, they're still moving forward. And I think those people really are just the coolest people around in my mind. So those people inspire me. So my favorite. genre of books, because I know that's one of these questions, by far, by far is nonfiction books. By far. I don't I'm not big on two fiction books, but nonfiction, true stories about people I love. And I love how you bring that up because at least you know what i mean as far as talking about people who are stuck. I like that word. People who get stuck for a while, come out the other side of it, and you don't necessarily are victorious and overcome and, you know, can claim this victory, 'cause like you said, there's still grief to be had in those moments of life and you know, especially when you're reflecting back on it. But the fact that you're able to come through it and all the things um Just absolutely incredible. And and that's the old adage, right? The cliche, you know, what doesn't kill you make you s makes you stronger. And it really does. You can't come out of situations like that without being changed, either for the better or for the worse, but hopefully for the better. And that brings me to I'm not gonna I'm I'm gonna totally ignore the third fluff question I was gonna ask you, 'cause that dives right into how you wanted to talk about um what you love most about nursing. That dovetails right into that. So what is it that you love most about nursing, Margie? when they come into any healthcare facility, anywhere, any place, and they are not at their optimum. And I think they're going to go through this, hopefully go through their experience wherever I might be or other people might be, I can be the observer and be just as happy. And see that person reach the other endpoint. And they are more of a human being. They're, they might be missing parts at this point, but they can function. They're they're better than when they walked in the door. And I like to feel like nurses are that variable that get them from A to Z. You know, granted, you have the doctors, you have the physical therapists, but you have that comfort of a nurse who, through their skills, is really doing an awful lot for the patient. And I just think it's amazing field of practice. So that's probably. What I love the most about nursing. That's obvious in everything that you say and do. Um I have an old adage, you know, I tell people, of course we do this because we need to put food on the table. If I didn't have four, you know, kids now teenagers, adults, you know, young adults who eat us out of house and home, you know what I mean? Maybe I'd work a little less. But the that's not why we do it. If you're doing it for the money, if you're doing it just for that reason, um, you will not survive. Because there has to be something more. And it is those shifts that you know, you know peds oncology, hematology, oncology for me, that was an easy one when it comes to this, right? You get to see people, we'd have patients live on the unit for you know, a month or two at a time, no immune system. And yet what we're and you see them come in at their sickest without treatment, they are going to die. And you provide treatment and you see their life extended, maybe even quality of life improved, and that is why we do what we do. I the other thing I can compare it to is my postpartum experience. Vastly less. We don't have a lot of frequent flyers there. You know, you have patients that come in and in twenty you they have a baby and in 24 hours they're gone, out of your life, until maybe they have another baby and you happen to get to take care of them again. But in that regard, you still get to see a change because you see people come in terrified maybe having a baby for the first time, or terrified or upset or concerned because of, you know, this particular circumstance that's going on with this particular pregnancy. And then they deliver and maybe there were some challenges. Like you said, maybe there were some things they would have to grieve um about the birthing process, but they have this beautiful baby on the other side of it. And that's what nursing is about, is bettering the lives of others. We just happen to get to make a career out of it, and we get to happen to get paid for it. And so speaking of getting paid, Marty. you've had a you've had a number of jobs in your lifetime so far. so briefly, tell us about the jobs you had before you became a nurse. Um and then let's start going down that road of your nursing career. Well, when I was in high school, I got my first well, I started to work in the food industry. And then I became a waitress and realized, aha, I get tips. So now I have now I have money. And I didn't didn't put it all together because you know I was 16 at the time, but this money enabled me to buy my first car, buy cute clothes. I had gone to a private school where you wore uniforms. And it's like, wow, I could go places, go to concerts that cost more. All of that that money provides, I got with the waitress. So then, when it came to my career with the nursing world, I we moved to Oregon, was our first place in the Northwest, and I had this nurse's aid certificate. So I worked in a little hospital there. And then I worked in many a variety of small hospitals, probably 10-ish, where You did everything. You were the only RN. the person would walk in if I don't get that IV in, I'm not that person's not gonna get the IV they need. Uh the then you would switch your hats, you'd have to scrub for surgery, you'd switch your hats, you'd have to be the trauma nurse, then you'd have to deliver a baby, and then so you're you a lot was put on you as the only nurse, and your backup was an LPN and an aid. And you know, they were pretty darn amazing, this LPN and A, but really the bottom line as the RN, you had all that responsibility. Well, I started thinking, my gosh, I've got to take classes for everything that's gonna walk in the door because so many varied things came in the door in a small town. So I became like a uh education junkie. I would take loads and loads of courses. Well, it eventually enabled me to work in critical care. I took so many courses. So I I eventually worked in um med surge coronary intensive care up in Court d'Alene at Kootenai. Loved it. I love the people I worked with. We all had certifications as our C CRN. We all were constantly getting certified, like they do at Sacred Heart. You know, you're just Smaller hospitals, you don't have that certification process. I was doing it to myself, but now I'm in a setting where there is real good accountability for your education and what you do to the patient. And I love that. I love to have somebody, if I can't get that IV in, I wasn't the only one. I could call on somebody else. Um, but you know, you got pretty good at those IVs, but you st I started just learning how to do so many things. And so I really loved critical care because I felt like what I did was so pivotal in that setting for their recovery. You there was many times no doctor there. You would have parameters for various drugs. you'd have to know the rhythms, you'd have to know how to I mean, I was ACLS certified. It went on and on. So then I got to a point, I was at a workshop, and lo and behold, there was a manager. At Sacred Heart. And it was only nine miles further for me to commute, which I had no idea. I didn't think about it. Now I did. And we were sending patients from Kootenai to Sacred Heart. So I thought I wanted to have more difficult patients because now you know I kept learning. So I got a job. That was when you can get a job pretty quick. I was sitting across the table from her and she said, apply. And I applied, and boom, I got the job there. So I was working at in critical care. Kootenai and at Sacred Heart. And I was finding I could work seven days a week, 12 hour shifts. And I thought, as much as I love this, logically, I want to be with my family. That's what I thought became a nurse for. And I I wanted to have a taste in nursing, but I didn't want it to be every day for long, long hours. And so then while I was at Kootenai, I also worked as a supervisor. There you could work in a fee in a department. And I don't know that many people did it, but I happened to do it. And so when a position at Sacred Heart came open for a supervisor where I had this background at Kootenai, I could answer the questions. And you know, as a supervisor, it's similar in different settings, but there are differences, but there's some similarities. So I could answer the questions pretty easily. And I got the job as a supervisor. Well, I said, hey. I can do all this stuff. I'd be glad to help on the floor. I mean, it, it's no problem. I can hang blood, I can help out in codes. Well, that's not the way they like to do things there. They wanted you to be in management when you're in management. And, you know, I went all the way to the top on this subject, but it was, you know, my peers weren't doing it. And that created, you know, a problem. So I thought, okay, I will have to say goodbye to what I really loved. Hmm. For the time as a supervisor. And because of all those experiences in small hospitals and a Kootenai, I was very comfortable going to all the departments because I I knew a little bit about a lot of places. And so it made it very comfortable for me in that role in that regard. Now there was concern when I got the job. I thought, oh my gosh, am I going to last more than five months in this job? Because There's a lot of political stuff. And you know, when you're working in the patient department, you're dealing with your patients and those peers. Then you get into a broader scope of managers, uh, directors, CEOs, all of that. Then it's like, whoa, we're in another world here. So it was, you know, in the role of the supervisor, you are, I was getting called frequently, and I get it. To move the patients through the system because they were getting, especially during COVID, blocked up in the ER. And I was there during the height of COVID. And so it's like, we gotta get these patients on the floors. And the nurses can only do so much, you know. And so it's that balance of not killing the staff with so much work and also not bogging down our ER with patients that are not ER patients anymore. So, I mean, we were overflowing in the ER with patients because we had so many COVID patients in the hospital at large. So it became, you know, a balancing act. And it, you know, I really enjoy staff. I loved my job, but I didn't like to push the staff so hard, but I was in a position that I had to. So I'm getting called. Little do they know. They see me come in that unit. That's one unit. There's about 35 plus units there. You go into and you're called constantly for troubleshooting. Well, my background really helped troubleshooting to be quite easy because I knew enough about what they were going through and I felt their pain, the staff, when things were going south. So if I didn't know the answer, I'd find the answer very quickly. And I felt like in my role, I wanted to be a resource, not just a person there. I really wanted to be that resource. If they needed something, they could call me. I might not be the answer, but I could find the answer and I could find the staff to help me. So I knew my key players in the hospital. I had some really strong staff. Like when I worked night shift and things were going not well on a department, I call up my buddy from ICU. Hey, we need a pair of hands here. Can you? And knowledge, not a pair of hands, the whole gamut, we need you to come help us. And you know, that was before they had the rapid response nurse. But even when we had the rapid response nurse, I needed extra help to make that department go smoothly during that crisis. So I really loved that part of the job because of knowing everybody and I really liked all the staff. Um I felt like they were, you know, I heard stuff about the different staff members, you know, they're the comments like having 500 children. But I I I could keep it at bay. I could literally hear stuff that wasn't so favorable and deal with that person where they're at in my relationship. I did not let it affect my relationship with them, especially if they were the charge nurse. And so, I mean, it made for a very, in my mind, I loved that role. I know it's not for everybody, but I did enjoy it. I So many things to say. So many things competing to come out of my mouth. Um I mean I just look no no no let me back up for a second because I I love you know we talk about like even just the let's let's focus on a unit, an inpatient unit, right? Um you start out as a bedside nurse and you do the bedside nurse thing and you you know what mean? eh On my unit, that's six patients, right? If you're med surge, five, six patients, I don't know, maybe ICU two max, hopefully. you peeds oncology, we'd have three, four, sometimes two, depending on acuity. But that's your world. That is your that is what you are overseeing. That is what you are trying to maintain and to manage and to provide the best care for. And then you've there, you know, hopefully a year or two, but in this modern day, probably about a few months, and they're like, Hey, you're ready to be charge nurse. Come on over. So they get trained to be charged, and now you're overseeing the whole unit. Pead's oncology. That was sixteen patients total. you know, that you're kind of overseeing. You're overseeing the staff. You're trying to help make sure everything runs smoothly, troubleshooting, uh things of that nature. And then, you know, in in postpartum wing we just had forty three patients a few days ago as charged. And I and you've and you're, you know, again, you're just you're overseeing these forty-three patients, the number of nurses it takes to get and you're trying to do everything you can to support every single person, um, serving, you know what I mean, kind of that servant leadership. And then Margie, you're You're then taking it to the next level, right? You're talking about being a house supervisor. And in you know, our hospital that we're referring to that she was at, Sacred Heart, I can't speak for Kootenai, Sacred Heart 600 Plus Bed Hospital. You said you said it's like having 500 children. You know, you're you're doing this same principle, right? But you're overseeing all the units and all the charge nurses and all the nurses under their care and all the patients, and you're trying to make this run as smoothly as possible. Like you said, you it's it's having that top-down view, not from a position of power. But from I have to kinda okay, yes, I understand your issue right now with your patient load, nurse A, but you're also looking at we've got a bottleneck happening in the ER, we've gotta get these patients to this floor, we gotta figure out how to make this happen, and making all these puzzle pieces fit when sometimes they don't wanna fit whatsoever. Um so I appreciate that perspective. But even more importantly, everybody, listen to what she said, right? You go in and you're like, It there's politics. There's politics anywhere you go. It doesn't matter what you do. I you know, you try and avoid it. My my personal thing is I I don't like I don't know. I just don't subscribe to them. Sometimes they've impacted my life. Sadly, they'll still impact your life, even when you try to avoid them or not necessarily be part of them. But like you said, people are coming to you and and it's just like it it harkens back to what you said about that Dean. Um, you know what I mean? Like There so and so, you know, this charge nurse, I don't blah blah blah. And you're like, okay, I'm gonna take that to note, and now I'm gonna go and treat this person, you know what I mean? Autotally like they're uh it it and not allowing that to impact your personal relationship with that person. And so that inspires me to hear you say that. That is something I've espoused for a long period of time, and it's not easy to do. So I just uh here's a random thought. Someone's listening to you say this and they're Okay, Margie, so Maybe you find out this person is not all they're cracked up to be or they're, you know, kind of, I mean, they're just rude, they're plain, they're whatever. How do you personally, like you just said, I try to not allow this to affect your relationship with that person, how do you practically do that? Well, okay, on practical purposes, let's say I knew I would try to reason with the person. It depends on what who it is. So if it is, I've had experiences where it would be a charge nurse, very rude to the staff. And I meant to a point it was just out of control. Well, I try to go to the upline. I I try to talk to her first, then I try to talk to the upline. And then I thought, you know, this isn't working. So I just went right for it. And I said specifically to the person, you know, I've tried to deal with this with you. And I will give examples of what you're doing. And of course they will say, Well, I didn't know I was doing it. I said, I know you know you're doing it because you're smart enough to know that. And it's impacting these different departments for staff that float there. If you're being rude to them, if you're saying things that are hurtful, it impacts the care they're giving to their patients. I'm getting calls about it. I'm trying to have things run smoothly. Well, this particular person, which I had to hand it to her, she had an evaluation, and she this is these one of these self-evaluations where you have peers. She asked me to evaluate her and I thought, whoa, that takes guts. And I thought, and I had noticed such an improvement with her. So I really did notice great improvement. So I did do the evaluation fairly. I said, I've seen great improvement. And she was super smart, which I loved. She's a smart person. And she was good with her patient care, but it was the ethical part that was difficult for her. But she turned that around and we actually respected each other. And I think when you talk to somebody directly and try to be, it's hard because it's to tell somebody something that directly, it is hard. You are hurting their feelings, you are saying things that they don't want to hear. Uh And they might not believe what you're saying because their self perception is different. I mean, I wait till I have a lot of ammunition before I really go to that point. It's it's like, okay, I'm done. And then I will. ammunition you mean evidence, right? Yeah, yeah. And so it's like, okay, I've got enough here to say something because nothing else was working. And now I'm with that person. And so often there's no management around when I'm working. On when it was evenings and night shift, I was it. So I would get calls. Now I had a situation one time where a staff nurse was making the charge nurse's life very difficult. Wasn't listening to anything the charge nurse asked. I and I heard about it. I can only hear this stuff so long. So I went to that department and I took took her aside and I said, you know, if this doesn't stop now, you're gonna have to go home. Just point blank. Even if it made the hospital tie. I we just could not have her dealing with the charge. It was so disruptive to her. And the charge was, she couldn't function in her role as the charge because this person was rude and obnoxious, not doing what she asked. I said, you might not like who's in charge. But you're in a role as a staff nurse, and what she is asking of you is a common practice. You have to do the assignment. If you're refusing the assignment, that's a whole different pathway we can go down. But if you're willing to take the, I mean, do it with a uh as happy a heart as you can, because we got to make it through this shift. So, and the person turned around during the shift. She was so startled to see me. Uh-oh, what happened? But it was like, you know, the So, you know, I've had those things. I've had times where people are not in charge and they call me and act like they're in charge. Drives me crazy. And I'll I will think, I don't think that person's in charge. And then I say, I will say, I we have a chain of command. Once I figure out they're not in charge, because they sound like they are at first. And I said, We have somebody in charge. I have to go through everything I do. Or discuss. I I appreciate you telling me what you're telling me, but go to the charge. And I take my direction from the charge because of that chain of command. It it's too undermining to everybody if you don't go through the chain of command. So I kept that kind of framework of way the ways I did things. And I always try to follow our policies and procedures as best I could. Sometimes things can get tweaked, some things don't make sense, but overall. We have a framework to live in. And I tried to go with that framework. That way I kind of kept my role clean if I had to answer to somebody. And generally I do. I mean a manager or director will come after me and ask me questions. What happened here? Why are we having all these patients stuck in the ER? And I'd have to say, and I had to turn patients away from the hospital too. But, you know, and then one day I had I was out to lunch with this group of nurses, and one nurse says, I I remember an experience with you, Margaret, and I thought, gosh, what? Because there could have been a hundred million experiences. And she said, Well, you came up to the floor because the charge said you're going to have to talk to her. She won't take any more patients. She only had like two on a med search floor. So I said, Okay. And I was really had all these patients in here. So I went up there and I went and talked to her. And she said, I can't take any more. And for all these reasons, I said, Well, that makes complete logical sense. The acuity is too high. For the patients you have, we're not gonna give you any more patience. But I kind of wish the charge nurse had said that. But instead, but maybe it was more effective. He said, Come and talk to her. And I said, Okay. And so that was a good one. You know, I I didn't know what she was gonna say to me, it could have been anything, but in that case, it turned out to be a pretty decent response. And she was glad that I talked to her and she didn't get any more patients. Yeah. I and and you bring up an important point, right? Like that we're doing this you said I like how you phrased uh with as happy of a heart as you can, you know what mean? Um and and I mean really just respectfully, right? Like that's the idea. It's like, hey, um and and what this is all illustrating in my brain is kind of a system of checks and balances, right? You said, you know, you're there uh as the next resource up if somebody's not being listened to, but you also in that role Even though you have this top-down view of this whole place, you still have your accountability to the other managers and the other supervisors and things of that nature. So I love that when not abused, that this system of checks and balances exists. Because without it, you can have people run amok and do whatever they want and treat people poorly and all that. So this I feel like segues very naturally and beautifully into one of the main reasons why you wanted to be on the podcast. So um I'll just ask the question the way I ask it. And you answer it how you wish to answer it. I know you've kind of touched on it already, but um, you know, I do like to ask people the challenges that they've faced in life personally and professionally. Right now, let's stick with the professional side of things. What challenges have you faced there and how have you navigated those challenges? Okay, I will say professionally from probably early on, pretty early on, um, I noticed people sabotaging one another, hurtful to one another. And it really bothered me because we're supposed to be caring for people and we are not caring for each other. And it's it happened to me, it's happened probably more to others, but it still bothers me when I saw it or I heard about it. I thought, you know, that's not. The right way to be. And so I had to figure, and sometimes even figuring out what's going on, the backstory takes a while to figure that out. The basically the politics of it. You can get on a department and not know who doesn't like who and who wanted whose job and you know, all that garbage. But you're going to be affected by it when you become that nurse on that floor to some extent. So kind of the more you know, um It helps in that regard. The more you know, you it's like you're going through a landmine of bombs and your landfill, you want to do it as effectively and as professionally and as smart as you can. So I started to learn early on that I had to learn more because there's power in knowledge. And the people that learned more and knew more had that. position that they could help their fellow person better. It's those nurses that knew more that were not good to one another, that they had a bad home life, or they didn't get that job promotion, or they were just irritated with the way the floor is running. And so instead of being that helpful person, they are talking about each other, mean to each other. But I knew enough that the more knowledge I had, I could be that professional to help the other person. And I think the ones that, you know, the more you know, you're not as inclined really to hurt each other because there's a certain confidence level in knowing more. So if you don't know a lot a lot, you can be unkind too because you just don't know what you're doing. So you're unkind to the people around you. You're running a department, you don't even know what ends up. So if you know more, even as a charge nurse, as a staff nurse, as a manager, as a director, the more you know, the better you can run that department, that floor, that patient effectively. So that's why I believe in certifications. I think it's great. If you can get certified, you're gonna be a stronger nurse. So I would say that and so when I what did not prepare me when I was in high school, I had loads of friends. Did not have any, I didn't see the cattiness that you do see. And you know, you kind of live Pollyanish. You kind of get out, that was an easy piece of cake. Had a boyfriend who is my husband at this point. He's a great guy. I mean, I didn't have that stuff. And then I was working and studying all the time. I get into the work world. It's like, whoa, people will say things that aren't even true about one another. And I thought, no, there's. I I was like a babe in the woods to that stuff until I started to learn more and be wiser at interpersonal dynamics. Mm-hmm. Very well said. And I appreciate that advice because I, you know, and and you're taking it too. I I'll add two cents to this if they're worth anything. But, you know, you talk about knowledge also from a standpoint of certification, science, you know what mean? That that actual practical knowledge that helps you in your job. And then you also alluded to the knowledge of interpersonal relationships. And the more you can study in that area, there's a lot of different books, a lot of different podcasts, a lot of different, you know, um anything you can do to kind of be better in that regards too, but also then it becomes just a matter of life knowledge also and experience. And there is a level to be said of, you know, I'm looking back at myself when I first started as a nurse. And you know, not I'm not close to 50 years. You know what I mean? I'm I'm almost 20 and I'm so excited. Um but that being said, even 20 years ago, I was very ignorant in the way of many things. And um you know what I mean? And at that point I'm a thirty-year-old quote unquote man. And so there's you know, there's things you have to learn along the way that just pain is a great teacher, right? Experience is a great teacher. And so I guess the theme in all of that, regardless of what the knowledge is that you're trying to glean, be open to that knowledge, be open to understanding new ways of doing things and new ways of seeing the world. Whether it's because of an experience or because of some, you know what I mean, certification you ch you chased or new knowledge in that regard. So I thank you so much because I know that that is one of the things that's nearest and dearest to your heart. I since we're on the subject, if you want to talk about it, w what other challenges have you faced, either professionally and or personally on that level and how have you navigated those? Okay, so I would say personally, practically my entire first family has died. I have one brother left. We were a family of seven, and some died quite young, some of it through their own choices. And I have one brother left that they don't really have a clear diagnosis of it, but he is in uh an extended care facility. So it's like a neurological condition that they think might have happened from being in the service. At any rate, so it's like I could be so bugged. The first one I heard about dying was my brother when he was 35. And I was like, what? He's not alive anymore. I mean, it was so shocking because he was full of life. And so what I did to combat that, if you want to say, is I put so much of my mind. My heart, my soul into my present family, which is 26 people. So my downline is huge. And you know, I try to go to their different events and be there for them. And when they call, I'm here for them. And I really enjoy it too. But it it's like God gave me that grace to help me live through the people that I loved no longer alive anymore. And it worked for me to have. that which I could put myself into. And of course, I like to put myself into human beings. Well the human beings are my family and even friends. You know, I've spend, especially since I am retired active, but I have more time than I have for friends too. And so I I listen more, I hear more. They their husband died. I can be that person for them. So that has helped me personally. That's probably the biggest personal challenge is the death of my family. Um, first family. And luckily I've been married to an amazing husband, a really amazing husband, and that has been a great piece to me. Hm. I I thank you for opening up to that. if you don't mind, sometimes I you know, you never ask a woman her weight, you never ask a woman what I'm about to ask you, and that is if you want, how many how many how many years wise are you, Margie? I am 70 years old. I just turned 70. So I have been, thank you. I've been celebrating since January. And I just turned, I just turned it about a week ago. So I don't mind talking about age. And my girlfriend, my girlfriend who celebrates every year with me, I forget her age. She just turned 100. And she's so with the program. So with it. I just like. goodness. And I I forget, like I said, I forget she's a hundred. I go, my gosh, you are now a hundred and now we're really celebrating a hundred years. But she lives on her own. She can talk about everything. And I think, my gosh, I love having friends all different ages. Yeah. Different perspectives for sure. And I the reason why I ask and the reason why I bring it up, first of all, I love the fact that I guess maybe when you're younger you have a birthday, and then as you get older you have a birth week, and now everybody's like claiming birth month. I'm like, I if you make it to 70, yeah, you can claim birth year. That sounds great. just celebrate it all year long. Um But I love that And I I l I love that that is but I mean you you gotta celebrate life, right? And and the reason why I asked that though is because and I and I appreciate you being open. And why ask that even after we discussed the professional stuff? Because I'm finding myself, you know what I mean, forty-nine now gonna be fifty here in a few months. And I'm you know, the I I the reason why I asked you this and your age in particular and this kind of personal et cetera, is I'm experiencing these things that you're talking about, you know what I mean, where family members who you love and who are dear to you or who have played a major role in your life are no longer there. And for me, fortunately, my siblings are all still alive. I haven't reached that point yet. Um, but both my father and my mother have both died. you know, within the last five, six years, give or take. And my grandm you know, my my beloved grandmother, who I love the you know, to pieces, she was the last grandparent who was living. She had died a few years ago, all within a relative, you know, five, six year period. And you start to see that, you know, the what what they say, right? As as you get older, you see why people get bitter as they get older. Because they they either get stuck in the past or they're The ones that they have put all this time and energy to have died, and that can include children as well, whether they're adult or young children. I've sadly experienced that. And having this i i it it's a sense of loneliness. You you you get to you know, there's there's someone there that you either interacted with or you could rely on, or who is super close to you, who is no longer part of your life, and it's very hard to navigate that. And so I appreciate Margie your perspective. Now, twenty years ahead of me, you know what I mean? Um, and being able to say, you know, here's how I've combated this. So anyone listening, you know, I don't care if you're in your twenties, I don't care if you're 30s, forties, whatever, it's coming. Life does come. Life, life the only thing guaranteed in life is what? Death and taxes. And so, your loved ones will die, assuming you continue to live, not trying to get all morbid on Margie's episode, but the idea is that some of us deal with it by ignoring it. Some people deal with that fact, and I'm not saying you need to turn around and obsess over it, but just know that every day we have on this earth is such a gift. And we're never guaranteed tomorrow. We assume tomorrow I got plans tomorrow. You've got plans tomorrow, and we may not get tomorrow, and we may not know why. Or your loved one may not get there tomorrow. So please, please, please, please. First of all, love the ones that are in your life. Always take this moment and just shoot a text. Get a phone call, even better. Let them hear your voice. Hey, I love you. I'm s hmm. I'm so glad you're in my life. I'm so grateful that you are still breathing. And you know, they'll be like, what the heck are you doing? What's wrong with you? and but but i it it is taking advantage of every moment that we have, right, Margie? Yeah. Yeah. So Margie, I you know, I I don't wanna I I could talk forever with you. Is there anything you wanted to make sure that you chatted about that we have not covered in your beautiful two part uh session here? No, I feel like we covered it and I hope people learn strategies to be kinder, to be more fortitude and be that person. Be that person that you want to be and be the way you want to be treated, more importantly. You might be bitter, but you can always change. If you cannot get over your bitterness, you can change your department. You can go into another avenue of nursing. and all your love will be rekindled. So, you know, if you can make it work where you're at, but if you can't, there's other places and, you know, it brings out the best in you when you change sometimes. Yes, yes it does, yes it does. And you discover parts of yourself you never knew might have existed. So all right, so Margie, before we close we'll just give the traditional closing questions. You had chosen three words to describe nursing school. We talked about those way back when. Remind us, what were they and why did you pick The first one was interesting. And the reason I picked that human beings are so multifaceted and we live in the human race. Their body, mind, soul are truly unique and fascinating. I love the little bodies and all the way to the decrepit bodies and the ones that are quite elderly. So that's why I felt interesting because they really fascinate me. And then that leads into fascinating. And what disease process do they face? What family are they in? What socioeconomic conditions do they face? And then it leads right into thought provoking. What culture does this person live in that affects their response to the world? How does their religious beliefs affect them? And I really feel like, you know, God is so merciful. that we don't have to worry about who's going to heaven, who's not going, it's in God's hands. But if we can just love one another, which is the thing that Jesus promotes and love God, it will carry us through a long way and it's very freeing. You can be more to one another when you don't worry about judging them so much. um so I would say that is that. There is one more question I see, but I'll wait to ask. It's almost like you know where I'm going. No, you've given so much wonderful I've loved hearing about your career, I've loved the advice you've given along the way, but if you could give one piece of advice for people to remember, what is that one piece? Okay, when it comes to nursing school, I would say you're gonna have to study. cannot, you can't get through without good grades. So, you know, it does take dedication and time in. So let's say you don't get into that nursing program. What can you do strategically to help you get in later? You can be a CNA, you can be a medical tech, you can be an LPN, you can be an ADN, which, You're taking the same state boards as those with bachelor's. Now you could say, well, that's good enough. Well, that's true. It's all good enough. But if you want to stay in the nursing world, they want you to get a BSN most places. So once you're an RN, that's a great segue into getting your BSN. You can take courses and get into that program pretty readily as an RN already. And that's what most. Most healthcare facilities want. So all of it's good, all the way up, but that's a strategy. Don't give up and think of what avenue can I strategically take if there's a door blocked, you know, here? What window can I open? There's another door block. What window can I open? And there's lots of windows you can open. There's lots of areas you can go into. Being a CNA is wonderful. That's what I loved about the CNA is at Sacred Heart. They work hard, they do hard, they're perfect. So all those roles are important and embrace them. Yeah, and and absolutely necessary. And I just love that again, it's all about opening those windows, opening those doors. If you're happy where you're at, fantastic. Enjoy your role. G you know, maximize it. Be the best version of you that you can be in that role. If you start to hunger for more, or conversely, you start to feel yourself getting cynical and you want to change things up, man, d there's always those other opportunities. So open those doors. Make it happen. You're you're never too old to start fresh. You uh I I just I that's proven to me time and time again. I'm gonna stop talking. This was supposed to be your last word and here I am blathering on. Margie, thank you so much for taking time this morning for reaching out and being a part of this and for I guess helping us pull the wool over the eyes of your daughter. Thank you Eric, it's been fun. Awesome. Thanks, Margie. Have a great day. Bye bye.