How to Be a Better Father: 5 Proven Tips to Win Your Child’s Heart

On this episode of The Christian Business Mentor, I talk about what it really takes to be a better father and win your child’s heart, and raise respectful children. 

Too many dads focus on rules and discipline, but in this episode, I share 5 powerful fatherhood strategies that transformed my relationship with my kids.

✅ How to raise respectful, loving children
✅ Why strict rules aren’t enough—and what works instead
✅ Biblical wisdom for stronger fatherhood and family leadership
✅ Practical ways to bond with your kids daily

If you’re a dad who wants to lead your family with faith, love, and wisdom, this episode is for you. Don’t miss these game-changing parenting tips!


Comment below: What’s the biggest challenge you face as a father?

🔔 Subscribe for more faith-driven parenting, business, and leadership insights!

New Episodes Premiere every Tuesday Morning

Want to connect with Skylar?  Shoot him a message on Instagram to @SkylarLewis and receive a free gift from Skylar personally and be sure to subscribe on YouTube @SkylarLewis for additional teachings.

If you're interested in learning more about Rise Up Kings, learn more on Instagram at @RiseUpKings 

Transcript

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:24:15
Unknown
Do you desire to be a better father? Well, making more money and buying nicer things for your kids is not the way. Winning their hearts is the key. And I'm going to share with you in this video how I have done this with my life and how it has been transformational with my kids. My first son was born and his very first word check this out was no, literally his first word.

00:00:24:16 - 00:00:49:14
Unknown
He said no to every single thing we told him. For the first three years of his life. And so it was it was very difficult, very difficult to work through. I remember we had to hold him down. He's a very strong willed kid. We had to hold him down just to brush his teeth. Jessica would have the toothbrush and I would hold his arms and his legs down and pin him to the ground and brush his teeth for a year straight, every single day, morning and night.

00:00:49:14 - 00:01:07:21
Unknown
This is how we brush his teeth. Anything he did not want to do? He did not. He he didn't want to do it. He wouldn't do it if he didn't want to do it. And so what is the key to winning a child's heart? How do you become an effective father? It's not by rules. It's not by regulation.

00:01:07:23 - 00:01:25:04
Unknown
It's not by forcing something on them. And so I'm going to share with you the strategy that I had to learn was much more effective. And so what I found was Jesus, right? Jesus brought a different way. So in the Old Testament, most of the Old Testament was about the law, right? It was about the law was about doing the right thing.

00:01:25:10 - 00:01:54:24
Unknown
And the law is important. But when Jesus came, he brought grace, and his emphasis was on grace. The idea was that if he could give something for free, if the father right, our loving father could give something for free. Jesus and brought him, and he sacrificed his life for us, and we didn't have to do anything in return for that, that that level of love could shift a human being's heart.

00:01:54:27 - 00:02:18:23
Unknown
So maybe God knows something about human beings and the human spirit, right? So if that if that's the way God operates and how should we operate with our children? I tried the laws. I tried the rules. If you don't do this, you're getting disciplined, right? Very strict boundaries. And what I found is my kids rebelled. So here are the five things that I have done to winning the hearts.

00:02:18:23 - 00:02:37:01
Unknown
What I found is if I could win the hearts of my sons, my two boys, that they would want to listen to me, that they would desire to listen to me, that they would want to follow the rules. They wouldn't be following the rules just because I said so. But they thought would follow the rules because of their love for me.

00:02:37:01 - 00:02:55:27
Unknown
And I had their heart. And so how do you win the hearts and the minds of your children? First off, you got to get clear that that's the path winning their hearts is the path to being a great father, winning their heart. And what do I mean by winning their heart? Where they feel connected, they feel loved by you, right?

00:02:55:27 - 00:03:16:09
Unknown
In a kid's perception of discipline is much different than what you think you're doing, you know, hey, you know that you're doing discipline out of love. But man, many times kids don't see it that way. So how do you win their hearts? So here are the five ways that I have utilized number one. Spend quality time doing the things that they want to do.

00:03:16:12 - 00:03:34:00
Unknown
As an example, like my sons, they love video games. Even though I don't love video games, I still take time out of my day, right? Whether it's 10 or 20 minutes and I'll go on my iPad and I'll go play Roblox with them. I'll go play paintball wars with them. I'll go do these specific video games that they love, even though I really do not want to do it.

00:03:34:07 - 00:03:52:03
Unknown
I'll spend time doing the things they love so I can connect with them at their level. This has been game changing and right. Maybe it's maybe it's once a day you go spend 10 minutes or 20 minutes doing something that they want to do. Is this a game changer? Yet for me it was it was difficult to do.

00:03:52:03 - 00:04:13:03
Unknown
I had to I had to become disciplined at not trying to get them to do things I wanted to do, but focusing on things that they wanted to do. Number two is spending time mentoring. So I take one on one time. I spend one on one time with each boy and I mentor them. I do this 1 to 3 times a week where I'll go sit down with you to go grab a donut.

00:04:13:10 - 00:04:35:05
Unknown
We'll go hang out and I'll teach them about the Bible. I will teach them how to pray. I will teach them about what it means to be a man and how they should treat other people. I have a list of lessons that I go through that I teach them, that there's a shift that happens when you start to teach and mentor your kids, versus just telling them what to do and being the hammer in the relationship between you and your wife.

00:04:35:11 - 00:04:50:08
Unknown
So shift to being just the hammer, to being the teacher and the mentor in your relationship. Number three is I do a weekly getaway, so I make time to go hang out one on one with them. So it might be Saturday morning. I'll tell Jessica. I'll say, hey, babe, I'm taking Brandon. We're going on a hike or what?

00:04:50:12 - 00:05:12:23
Unknown
We're going to go do something fun for an hour or two hours. So I get one on one time with my boys to just connect and have fun, right? These are the ways that I'm winning the hearts of my boys. Number four is showing them grace when I feel it's appropriate. So if they mess up on something right, I've learned to show them grace until it gets to the point where they need discipline.

00:05:12:23 - 00:05:30:19
Unknown
So having the discernment of knowing when to give grace and when to give discipline and number five is I give them autonomy, especially with boys or any kids that are growing up. There's going to be a point where they want some more freedom, they want some more autonomy. And so the way that I've won the hearts of my kids is I've given them autonomy.

00:05:30:19 - 00:05:53:01
Unknown
I've learned to give them space and freedom to make their own decisions. Right. My son? I'll go drop him off at ponds around the neighborhood, and I'll just drop him off by himself. And he absolutely loves the freedom that he gets. I allow him to make decisions. I allow him to make certain decisions on what to eat, as long as he can show a pattern of making good decisions.

00:05:53:01 - 00:06:13:00
Unknown
So I want to give decision making and some autonomy to my boys. Not completely though. I want to guide their decisions if I know they're going down around the wrong path. But I'm practicing giving them some autonomy. And so there's a level of trust that is built inside the relationship. When this happens, when they know that I'm giving them trust, they learn to trust me back.

00:06:13:00 - 00:06:36:16
Unknown
They learn to lean into what I'm asking them to do. So these five things have been an absolute game changer, right? And when we talk about mentorship, the best thing that you can ever do with your kids is to spend time mentoring them on Christ, on who Christ is, and how to properly live a Christian life, and about the love that Jesus has for us.

00:06:36:16 - 00:06:58:03
Unknown
So when you're spending time mentoring them, don't just take time to mentor them on how to be effective, how to set goals, how to achieve things. But man, what does it look like to be a Christian? What does it look like to understand God's love that he has for us? There's a great verse. It is John 419. We love him because he first loved us, right?

00:06:58:04 - 00:07:20:05
Unknown
So when we show our kids incredible love that opens up the space. It creates margin for them to then love us. That's how we win their hearts when we first show them love. And these are some ways that we can show them love and we can win their hearts. So my aim in the relationship is not just discipline, right?

00:07:20:08 - 00:07:43:11
Unknown
And guiding them right, which is important. My aim is I want to win their hearts. I want them when they are teenagers to want to do the right thing. Not because I've forced it on them their entire lives, but because I've done these five things and I've built an incredible relationship with them. Right? So the aim is to win their hearts while also guiding and mentoring your children.