Project Predictions, Duterte Drama, and NFL Surprises | Ep. 23

Boldly navigating the choppy waters of Project 2025, could the political landscape of America be on the brink of chaos, or will states like Texas and Florida emerge victorious from the conservative initiative led by Donald Trump? Join me, Norman Chad, as we embark on a satirical journey pondering these questions while humorously predicting California's imminent doom, and Alaska's possible detachment due to their geographical independence. Not to be outdone by domestic affairs, we hop across the Pacific to unravel a dramatic political saga featuring Vice President Sarah Duterte's alleged assassination plot against President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. in the Philippines.

Gambling Mad with Norman Chad is written by Norman Chad and ghost written by...Norman Chad. Executive Producer Rick Barrio Dill and Jon Sheinberg. Produced by Rick Barrio Dill and Bri Coorey. Editing by Asher Freidberg. Socials and Marketing Nick Wolferman. Engineering and Editing by Bri Coorey. Equipment provided by SLAP Studios LA (SLAPStudiosLA.com) and studios provided by SLAP Studios LA and 360-Pod.

If you, or someone you know needs help around gambling related issues, there are more ways than ever to get connected with help. Call the Problem Gambling HelpLine at 888-ADMIT-IT (236-4848) or go to www.gamblinghelp.org

Chapters

• 0:00 Project 2025 and Current Events
• 6:01 NFL Betting Picks and Overlooked Inventions
• 20:55 March Madness Madness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Everyone has a life outside of their job. I'm a recreational ballet dancer and I don't let it get in the way of this podcast. And, by the way, jamal, you can have a lot of life outside of basketball during the off season. Norman Chad Norman Chad. And welcome to Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. I am Norman Chad Coming up today on the program. A Jewish quarterback at a Mormon university, a college football playoff proposal to revolutionize the game, and our just say no to Starbucks campaigning is revving up.

Speaker 1: 0:47

Gambling Mad is always brought to you by Fritos, picked fresh off of Central California trees each morning, delivered directly to your local retailer each afternoon, and by Fresca. It's refreshing, it's remarkable. It's Fresca, fritos and Fresca. It's refreshing, it's remarkable. It's fresca, fritos and fresca. It's a meal.

Speaker 1: 1:06

But first, project 2025 will be implemented in the year 2025. We're in the year 2024 right now, so the year 2025 is just around the corner. This much is a certainty. Project 2025 is a conservative movement to return the government to the people. It's also known by its longer title, which is my Name is Donald Trump, and I am Going to Change Everything, and he's not kidding. Trump wants partisan control of the Department of Justice, the FBI, the FCC and the FTC. He wants to abolish the Department of Education. Nih probably will be eliminated. Medicaid could be severely reduced. Project 2025 might even change the way you flush your toilet if you still have a toilet in 2025.

Speaker 1: 2:00

Some legal experts say Project 2025 will undermine the rule of law, civil liberties and the separation of church and state. Almost all of us stand to be affected negatively, and to better help understand this, let's just jump over to our national map for a moment. Let's take a closer look at the effects of Project 2025. The states I have marked with X doomed under Project 2025. The states I have marked with X doomed under Project 2025. California is triple doomed, as is so noted, I think. Texas and Florida. You know they really should be okay. They might even flourish under Project 2025 for obvious reasons. Also, I believe that Alaska and Hawaii, our 49th and 50th states, will be spared, largely because they are so far away. Anchorage is 4,275 miles from Washington DC. Honolulu is 4,700 miles from Washington DC, even though in this map it appears to be just south of Mexico, but you know, it's way up there. In fact, at this point, I believe these places don't even know what the federal government is doing, largely because in any given week you know they're so far away so they don't give a shit and, frankly, alaska at this time might even be a Russian asset. By the way, before or after Project 2025, phoenix will reach 193 degrees this Sunday. It's gonna be a hot one. Let's go back to the desk. Maybe it's not as bad here as we think.

Speaker 1: 3:37

Let's take a look at the Philippines. Vice President Sarah Duterte says she has contracted an assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos Jr, his wife and his cousin, the House Speaker, if she herself is killed. Marcos and Duterte ran on the same ticket in the 2022 election and won in a landslide. They have had a falling out since then, but there are falling outs. You know we're not going to go to dinner together anymore, but there are falling outs. You know we're not going to go to dinner together anymore and there are falling outs. I think you might kill me and if you do, I'm hiring a hitman to whack you. Duterte could face legal sanctions for her public threat. In recent weeks, she has accused Marcos of corruption and incompetence. When she recently mentioned the possible murder plot, duterte said this country is going to hell because it's led by a person who doesn't know how to be president and who is a liar. By the way, if you're just tuning in, she was speaking about the president of the Philippines, not the president-elect of the United States. Elect of the United States.

Speaker 1: 4:50

Time for my NFL picks. The preferred selection of 7-8% of inmates at Rikers Island. So last week, my usual mediocre two and three. For the season, though we're still 25, 23, and two, remember, you always lose less with gambling. Mad, but how stupid am I. Last week I picked the Giants to upset the Buccaneers and at one point in that game the Giants were losing 30 to nothing. And after 77 consecutive weeks of picking the Titans to cover incorrectly, I didn't make a pick on the Titans game last week and of course they covered upsetting the Texans. Well, let's get to this week. Steelers at Bengals. You can throw out the record books when these two teams meet, as is if you can find any record books. Nobody reads books anymore, so I'm not even sure they still publish them. Mike Tomlin is so frustrating in his 18 years as Steelers coach. He loses a lot of games he should win, like last week against the Browns, and he wins a lot of games that he should lose. Well, the Steelers have won four games outright this season as an underdog. So I will take the Steelers and the points in this one.

Speaker 1: 6:01

Seahawks at Jets this season. Since this season began, let me think the Jets have fired their head coach and then they fired their general manager. Who's next the governor? Nobody fires their general manager in the middle of a season. Even Joseph Stalin didn't do that and he was a dictator with a temper. But there are two reasons I think the Jets can pull off the upset here. One Aaron Rodgers is due to have his best game of the season and two, the Seahawks are traveling cross-country on Thanksgiving weekend, the busiest travel weekend of the year. Fyi, my luggage has been lost on three of my last four trips into JFK or Newark airports.

Speaker 1: 6:48

I'm going to take the Jets and the two and a half points in this one Titans at Commanders. The Commanders have lost three straight and the Titans just upset the Texans in Houston. But the Titans have failed to cover in nine straight games after a win. You know the problem is their players always celebrate by smoking cigars at Dave and Buster's for 48 straight hours, which is particularly odd considering Dave and Buster's is a non-smoking facility. So why am I finally picking against the Titans, because quarterback Will Levis now has had two games this season. Two games this season in which he was sacked eight times and threw a pick six. If he lives to be 100, he will never do this again, but if he lives to be 100, I will never bet on him again. I'm picking the Commanders in here giving five and a half points Time for our Colander Pick of the Week Rams at Saints.

Speaker 1: 7:53

This game is going to be a barn burner. What is a barn burner exactly? Most people think it's a game that's very exciting and high scoring, and this game will be. But a barn burner is also a game in which farmers with a gambling problem literally burn down their barns if one of the coaches goes forward on fourth down when they should have kicked a field goal. The Saints are 2-0 under interim head coach Darren Rizzi. What do we know about this, darren Rizzi? Absolutely nothing, which is probably better that way. This, darren Rizzi Absolutely nothing, which is probably better that way. Anyway, the Rams are also traveling a long way on the road on a holiday weekend, so I will go here in this one with the Saints as a three-point underdog.

Speaker 1: 8:41

And finally, 49ers at Bills. The 49ers are collapsing and they too are traveling cross-country on a holiday and the Bills are ascending, after relaxing at home on Thanksgiving, eating buffalo turkey wings and drinking Labatt blue beer. Here are some positive numbers about the Bills. They are closing in on what would be a franchise record fifth consecutive division championship. They have a point differential of plus 106. That's the best in the AFC. Their quarterback, josh Allen, 18 touchdown passes, only five interceptions, and coach Sean McDermott is now 7-0. Coming off of a bye week. I think the Bills are going to be able to run up this one. I'll give the seven points. Take the Bills are going to be able to run up this one. I'll give the seven points. Take the Bills as a favorite.

Speaker 1: 9:31

Jake Retzlaff is the only Jewish starting quarterback in Division I, college football. Now, normally I wouldn't bother pointing this out. The ethnic, racial or religious background of any particular player does not really matter, but Retzlaff is the starting quarterback at Brigham Young University. He is a Jewish quarterback at a Mormon college. Now almost every student at BYU is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. At Latter-day Saints there are 35,000 students at BYU. Three of them, three, practice Judaism. Reminds me of that old joke three Jews walk into BYU. They buy it. Okay, we'll move on. Anyway, it is next to impossible. It'd be like parting the Red Sea that Jake Retzlaff ended up playing college football at BYU in the state of Utah, which has 0.2 residents Jewish in all of Utah 0.2%. That would be like Marjorie Taylor Greene joining Mensa. That would be like Marjorie Taylor Greene joining Mensa. Retzlaff embraces his Jewish faith. He calls himself BYU, his fans call him the chosen one and he's pretty darn good. Retzlaff is co-captain and BYU is 9-1 this season, with a chance to make the 12-team college football playoff, to which we say Mazel Tov.

Speaker 1: 11:11

The Denver Nuggets, one of the NBA's premier teams, lost at home the other night to the New York Knicks 145-118. Nuggets coach Michael Malone correctly called out his team for its lack of effort. Nuggets star Jamal Murray, though, offered several reasons he and his teammates were not focused. Number one it's a long season. He said. Yeah, it's a long season. It's a long season for the New York Knicks as well, and they were playing 2,500 miles away from home in their third straight road game. Two, murray said we just beat LA in LA. We've got some guys who live in LA, so they stayed longer in LA. Yeah, well, okay, if you want to stay in LA, maybe you should play for the Lakers or the Clippers or work full-time in Hollywood. And three guys have lives outside of basketball. Murray said oh yeah, okay, everyone has a life outside of their job. I'm a recreational ballet dancer and I don't let it get in the way of this podcast. And, by the way, jamal, you can have a lot of life outside of basketball during the off season. The average salary now of an NBA player is almost $12 million a year. Your primary life outside of basketball should be running to the bank to deposit the obscene amount of money you are paid to make 45% of your shots. Told him off.

Speaker 1: 12:45

In Las Vegas. These days and I've discussed this from time to time they just don't take your money gambling. They take your money every moment you are not gambling. Everything costs more there Hotel rooms, restaurant meals, bottles of water, even blowjobs.

Speaker 1: 13:04

Perhaps the biggest symbol of Las Vegas' money grab has been parking. Casino parking forever was free. Then, in 2016, mgm properties started charging guests to park, and they were followed in 2021 by Caesars properties doing the same thing Along the strip. Only Casino Royale, circus, circus, the Sahara and Treasure Island still allow tourists, free parking and now the OYO. You might not have heard of the OYO. It used to be Hooters, it's now called the OYO. That's O-Y-O. The OYO just east of the Strip has eliminated free parking. According to casinoorg, the OYO probably got tired of people parking for free in their garage and then crossing to the other side of Tropicana Avenue to gamble at MGM Grand. Daily parking at many strip properties is $35. This is on top of the just load of hooey resort fee that we now pay, which is just an increased room charge that is very thinly disguised.

Speaker 1: 14:11

This brings me to an age-old complaint of mine. I understand capitalism and support it. I understand that businesses are in the business of making money, but there is a difference between profit and greed. I accept profit. I will not accept greed. Gordon Gekko was wrong. Greed is not good, greed is bad, greed is greedy. If you want to reach into one of my front pants pockets for some profit, that's fine, but if you want to reach into all of my pants pockets for greed's sake, then you may as well just strip me of my pair of pants and I'll run as far as I can across the desert, half naked, to flee your attempted highway robbery Time for another installment of Overlooked Inventions.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Our tale this week begins with chopsticks. Okay, no, chopsticks are not overlooked. The Chinese started using them more than 3,000 years ago and they have endured. 3,000 years ago and they have endured. But then came the fork, brought to us by either the Greeks or the Romans, and then the knife and the spoon. Okay, now, let's be honest here. All right, you can't cut a piece of meat with chopsticks. You can't eat a bowl of soup with chopsticks. Chopsticks were a great tool, but they seem like they've been easily surpassed by the fork and the knife and the spoon. Yet the Chinese have stuck with their chopsticks. And well, one might argue that one billion Chinese can't be wrong. Well, they are.

Speaker 1: 16:07

But this brings us to our overlooked invention. What if you took the fork and a spoon and created the spork? The spork. Okay, now, the spork's been around longer than you think 100, maybe 125 years, but I know it from Popeye's. No matter what side I order mac and cheese, coleslaw, mashed potatoes or my favorite red beans and rice I'm using the spork. I then take it home with me, and if I'm cracking open a can of soup on a camping trip, I can use that spork again. The spork is so smart. I'm surprised Elon Musk didn't invent it.

Speaker 1: 16:55

Recently, here on Gambling Mad, I mentioned my two-decade-old Just Say no to Starbucks campaign and, despite its relative lack of success, I decided to renew my commitment to my Just Say no to Starbucks movement. Well, folks, the boycott very quickly is finally showing some results. The coffee monster is teetering a bit. The company just issued a report indicating a 7% dip in global sales with what it called a quote profound traffic decline in North America, a 10% drop in sales here in the new world. So maybe, just maybe, people are getting tired of being served $8 lattes by baristas by the name of Skippy. So we march on. Today, I announce, today, I announce, we are offering our Just Say no to Starbucks boycott for the first time in two languages English and Latin. Okay, I got Latin. Latin. Latin. Okay, latin, I'm sorry, latin is a dead language. Okay, what I mean is English and pig Latin. Okay, so now it's either Just Say no to Starbucks or Us Jayjay a-say, oh-nay, ooh-tay, our-bucks-stay, let's take down that company.

Speaker 1: 18:26

Folks, before we wrap up, I'm going to say this one time and one time only Science matters. Anti-vaxxers don't believe in science. Climate change deniers don't believe in science. Maga kids who get D's in eighth grade science class don't believe in science. They can ignore science all they want, but that's like turning up the music on your car radio so you can't hear the troubling noise in the engine. That noise is still going to be there and it won't go away. So we either fix what's wrong or we face the consequences. If we ignore the obvious signs of a climate crisis that is an existential threat to our planet, we will wake up one day without a planet and we are going the wrong way.

Speaker 1: 19:24

Folks, when Donald Trump won in 2016, it was middle America giving Washington the middle finger. Now, nominating RFK Jr and Dr Oz to direct public health in America and Dr Oz to direct public health in America, trump is giving the middle finger to science. There is no good health plan to protect us from that. On that positive note, that will do it for another episode of Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. Hope to see you again next time and remember, if you're going to roll the dice, make sure they're loaded. Norman Chat.

Speaker 1: 20:08

For the longest time, college football was the only sport that didn't have a playoff to determine its champion. There was a media poll and a coach's poll and they voted on who the best team was. Then they switched it to a BCS championship game. A panel of experts determined which two teams should play for the national championship. Then they expanded that to a four-team playoff, again determined by a panel of experts, and now it is a 12-team playoff, still determined by experts.

Speaker 1: 20:40

Let's cut to the chase and cut out the experts. There are 134 schools that play Division I football. Let them all in. What is more democratic Opening playoff weekend 64 games crowded into Thursday, friday and Saturday. The next weekend, another 32 games across Thursday, friday and Saturday. It will make March Madness look like Midnight Mass. It is possible Kirk Herbstreet's head will explode, enabling him to broadcast on multiple ESPN platforms simultaneously. The whole shebang will take less than two months, and no more crying about who gets in and who doesn't, because if I hear any more yahoos or yuckahoodles talking about a team's body of work or an eye test or style points, I will go gambling mad.

Speaker 2: 21:37

Gambling Mad with Norm Chad is written by Norm Chad and ghostwritten by Norm Chad Executive producer, john Scheinberg. We'll see you next time. Beverly Hills and slap studios LA. If you want to complain to Norm about anything, make sure to reach out at gambling mad show. Anywhere you get your socials and gambling mad with Norm Chad on YouTube and if you really want to get at them, send a message to info at slap studios lacom.