Elon's Positivity Push, Santa Sadness, and EVEN MORE Trump Nonsense | Ep. 27

Chapters

• 0:00 Proposing a New Calendar System
• 13:13 Proposal for Reimagining National Boundaries
• 19:55 Uncovering the Corruption in Athletics

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Elon posted the following message Please post a bit more positive, beautiful and informative content on the platform. This was less than 48 hours after he had posted a message in which he told anyone who disagreed with him on H-1B visas to F yourself in the face. Woo Woo, not just F you, but F yourself in the face. I don't even know how to do that. Norman Chad, norman Chad, welcome to Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. I am Norman Chad Coming up today on the program. Why am I proposing an 11-month calendar? I don't know. Why is Elon Musk becoming Miss Manners? I don't know. And why are college coaches quitting in droves? I don't know. And why are college coaches quitting in droves? I don't know. Gambling Mad, as always, brought to you by Fritos, picked fresh off of Central California trees each morning, delivered straight to your local retailer each afternoon, and by the refreshing taste of Fresca Fresca, always refreshing Fritos and Fresca. It's a meal.

Speaker 1: 1:27

The National Football League had a busy, busy Christmas week. On Sunday, there was the usual load of NFL games. On Monday, the usual Monday night football game. On Wednesday yeah, wednesday the NFL played two games because it was Christmas Day and the billionaire owners finally figured out that everyone is home then. So why not join the NBA in reaching deep into their holiday stockings to grab a little more TV money? On Thursday they had the now regular Thursday night football game, and on Saturday they had three more games. The NFL played on five of the seven days in the calendar week, which made me think sometime in the near future the NFL might make this standard, say Saturday, sunday, monday.

Speaker 1: 2:16

There is one hurdle to clear regarding this particular possibility. The Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961 states that the NFL cannot play on Friday night or Saturday from the second weekend of September till after the second weekend in December. To protect high school and college football. Isn't that quaint? I'm not really sure about the legality of this law. I know that doesn't really make sense, questioning the legality of a law, but just ignore that. I can assure you that the NFL could get it changed. Just flash some cash in front of some congressmen and it's a done deal, my goodness, the NFL is pretty much the fourth branch of government anyway. And hey, if they guaranteed Trump a franchise the moment he steps out of the White House and he's always wanted to own an NFL team Trump would issue an executive order on his first day in office, allowing the league to play on any day of the week. It's coming, my friends. Thursday night football. Friday night football. Saturday afternoon and Saturday night football. Sunday afternoon and Sunday night football and Monday night football.

Speaker 1: 3:39

Am I making America great again, or what? The other day, on X who doesn't love X? I jokingly proposed an eight day week starting this year, designating the eighth day as the one the NFL can never play on. But now I am going to seriously propose a change that will improve the quality of all of our lives immediately A new calendar, eight days a week, 32 days a month, 11 months a year. I am in a dizzy. Dizzy thinking about this.

Speaker 1: 4:21

Okay, first of all, one of the frustrating things right now is that each month has a different number of days. So if you're trying to think of a date a month or two ahead of time, you're never quite sure what day of the week it is. This eliminates that. Each day of every month is the same day of the week. We're going to add an eighth day. We're going to add an eighth day Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, binks Day, saturday, sunday All right. Second of all, everyone loves a three-day weekend. This creates a three-day weekend every weekend. Oh, mama, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-uncle Stanislav would have fallen off the Mayflower if he had heard about three-day weekends Monday, tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays, fridays that's the weekdays. Binks Day, saturday, sunday there's your weekend. Third, we're adding an extra day to each week, so something's got to give.

Speaker 1: 5:26

Month-wise, we're talking a 32-day month and just 11 months. Each year Got to lose a month. February. Nobody likes February, it's cold and rainy. February is gone. Now I am sensitive to minorities. I realize February is Black History Month. We'll just move it to March. Bang, if you're black, you pick up four extra days to celebrate all the freedoms America has given you since the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863. Okay, let's review Eight days a week, adding Bing Stay and a three-day weekend. 32 days a month, 11 months a year. Now some of you Stanford and Duke grads are saying, hey, you dumb terp. 32 days and 11 months only adds up to 352 days. You're short. What I didn't think of, that you huckadoodles. Okay, your 352 days ends with New Year's Eve, on December 32nd. You like the sound of December's 32nd? Then, before we get to January 1st, we would have a 13-day festivus. I would actually call it Jewissance, which means pleasure, delights, ecstasy, a year-end celebration which married couples will be encouraged to procreate to keep this great earth on track. As for same-sex couples who cannot reproduce, well, you can just cheer us on. Anyway, all of this can start as soon as 2026. I cannot wait Time for our NFL picks, which keep rolling along.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Last week we were two or three. Actually that was two weeks ago. We took last week off, somebody didn't pay the bills, we had a little blackout, so we were 2-3. Actually, that was two weeks ago. We took last week off, somebody didn't pay the bills, we had a little blackout so we could not pick games. And we continue on our slow pace to losing less than anybody else out there 36-32-2 for the season. All right, commanders at Cowboys. The Commanders were upset by the Cowboys just six weeks ago. They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I've never believed that. Would you want to eat porterhouse steak cold? Hell, no, you get revenge while you are hot, hot, hot about it. That's why I keyed my first wife's divorce lawyer's car just two days after our divorce hearing. Anyway, jaden Daniels is going to run circles around the Cowboys, who have lost games this season by 44-19, 47-9, 34-6, 34-10, and 41-7.

Speaker 1: 8:21

I'm taking the Commanders minus three and a half Bills at Patriots. This is the Patriots Super Bowl. The team that used to win Super Bowls every 15 minutes now has the worst record in the NFL. If the Patriots win, they will be arguably the best 4-13 team in football. If they lose, they will wrap up the number one pick in the NFL draft. The Patriots are so bad I believe that they will try to lose but somehow win. The Bills normally would be about a 36-point favorite here, but this contest has no bearing on their playoff position and Buffalo's players, I am told, might play the game helmetless. It's a small number, but I'm going to take the Patriots plus three and a half Jets at Eagles.

Speaker 1: 9:12

Will the Eagles play Saquon Barkley in an attempt to get him the NFL single season rushing record? I wouldn't. Then again, I told Forrest Gump to stop running and, man, he never got hurt. The Jets are so bad. They'll be interviewing coaches for next season during the opening kickoff. The biggest drama in this game is whether Aaron Rodgers will even show up. If he does, the NFL is planning a special halftime promotion in which they will televise Rodgers getting vaccinated for COVID and brain fog. Anywho, the Eagles backups could beat these Jets playing barefoot. I will take the Eagles giving three and a half points. Colander game.

Speaker 1: 9:53

Game of the week Saints at Buccaneers. Rookie, spencer Rattler, that's right, spencer Rattler is the Saints quarterback. I think I saw him working at Jiffy Lube last month. He is the 47th ranked quarterback in the NFL at the moment and, folks, there are only 32 starting quarterbacks in the league. He's completing 55% of his passes this season, which is a good number if you're an NBA player. He is 0-5 as a starter this season. He's thrown three touchdown passes and he's been sacked 20 times. His passer rating is 67.0, which, coincidentally, is the current temperature in New Orleans. Again, his name is Spencer Rattler. He plays for the Saints.

Speaker 1: 10:45

I like the other team here, buccaneers giving 14 points. That is the calendar game of the week Seahawks at Rams. The 13 letters of 11 plus 2, when rearranged spells, 12 plus 1. Huh, go ahead. If you're not driving right now, try it yourself. What does this have to do with this game? Absolutely nothing. But this game also means absolutely nothing. I like the Rams scrubs to beat the Seahawks scrubs for a six straight win for LA. I'm taking the Rams plus three.

Speaker 1: 11:29

It's time for Trump Tittle Tattle All the latest news from your favorite failed casino owner and convicted felon Cue the music. Donald Trump nominated Herschel Walker to be US ambassador to the Bahamas. Upon hearing the news, walker asked which Tommy Bahamas store he would be working out of. Donald Trump says that he would back hockey great Wayne Gretzky as the next Canadian prime minister. Continuing his pre-inaugural pledge to piss off every American ally, donald Trump announced a national campaign against drug use. When asked if this would be a war on drugs, trump remembered he is against all wars and backtracked, saying he now favors drug use. Donald Trump offered to buy Greenland from Denmark. Denmark declined Undeterred. Trump asked Eric to order Monopoly online and says he will build underfinanced hotels on Marvin Gardens instead. Donald Trump's daughter-in-law, laura Trump, removed her name from consideration for the Florida US Senate seat after being told that Governor Ron DeSantis was not going to pick her. And finally, president-elect Elon Musk pressured House Republicans to kill a bipartisan spending bill. Musk then boasted on X the voice of the people has triumphed by people. Musk, of course, means himself and the nine of his 12 children he knows by name. That is Trump tittle-tattle for this week.

Speaker 1: 13:13

Talk around town and I mean whatever town you might be in continues about the possibility that Canada could become our 51st state. 51's an odd number, though, and I've got a better idea. Let me explain it to you over at our world map. If we take Canada, we are doubling our nation land-wise. For what More cold weather? And nobody wants 51 states. There's no more room on the American flag for another star. Look how symmetrical that is. Can't go to 51. Okay, here's a better way to go. Texas wants no part of the USA. I've discussed that before. So we trade Texas for Mexico. Huh, this solves everything. No one in Mexico will want to cross the border anymore into Texas because they're now part of the United States of America. Huh, we get a new 50th state in Mexico, which, by the way, automatically increases the quality of the US national soccer team by 25%, and Taco Tuesday becomes tacos eight days a week.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Back to the desk. My just say no to Starbucks boycott continues to pick up steam. Just say no to Starbucks. Part one Starbucks workers are going on strike in many large cities across the nation. Hundreds of stores are affected. The baristas are claiming unfair labor practices. Now, if I worked at Starbucks and I'm just talking hypothetically here because a court order couldn't make me walk into a Starbucks I would demand one more coffee breaks. Ironically, two, coffee from outside of Starbucks to drink on coffee breaks. And three, they stop serving peppermint mocha and gingerbread latte, because that ain't coffee and I don't even like saying the words peppermint mocha and gingerbread latte. Just say no to Starbucks.

Speaker 1: 15:18

Part two China has nearly 8,000 Starbucks locations, second in the world to the United States, and frankly, I cannot understand this. If you live in China, why would you choose an iced hazelnut, oak milk shaken espresso over a Chinese green tea? That's like choosing a Dave's double cheeseburger over General Tso's chicken. Well, the Chinese are finally wising up. In the most recent financial quarter, starbucks there are reporting a 14% drop in sales. Hey, I've got an idea to revive business. They should give a fortune cookie with every peppermint mocha. I seldom do this, but I'm going to advise parents to please have their children leave the room right now because of the sensitive nature of this next item.

Speaker 1: 16:11

In Hampshire, england, the Reverend Paul Chamberlain was invited to speak at the Leon de Solent School just before Christmas. He was conducting a religious education class for 10 and 11-year-olds. According to the Guardian newspaper, first he discussed the birth of Jesus. According to the Guardian newspaper, first he discussed the birth of Jesus, but then he told the kids that Santa Claus is not real and that their parents actually buy the presents and eat the biscuits left out for old Saint Nick himself. The students were visibly upset. Many of them were crying. A spokesperson for the Diocese of Portsmouth said that the Reverend Chamberlain accepted that this was an error of judgment and apologized. Now, if I may defend the good pastor for a moment, listen, you little rascals. It's time to grow up. Let me tell those pasty youngsters a few other things. Okay, there was more than one. Lassie Pringles is not a potato chip, and your fifth grade teacher is sleeping with your fourth grade teacher.

Speaker 1: 17:22

Before we wrap up, I'm going to say this one time, and one time only Elon Shmeelon. Let's unmask the evil, mr Musk. He bought Twitter and converted it to X, also known as. Anyone can be king for the day if you are foul-mouthed and filthy enough. He took what he calls the world's town square and he turned it into the world's largest overflowing toilet.

Speaker 1: 17:50

Yet this week, elon posted the following message Please post a bit more positive, beautiful and informative content on the platform. This was less than 48 hours after he had posted a message in which he told anyone who disagreed with him on H-1B visas to F yourself in the face. Woo Woo, not just F you, but F yourself in the face. I don't even know how to do that. Anyway, elon curates this toxic wasteland but then tells us to just prance through it like it's candy land. Okay, so I'm going to take him at his word and, from this moment on, be more positive and beautiful, elon. Have a nice day. You fine, fine man. That'll do it for another edition of Gambling Mad with Norman Shad. Hope to see you next time and remember, if you're going to roll the dice, make sure they are loaded.

Speaker 1: 19:04

Jim Larrañaga, jay Wright and Mike Bray three accomplished college basketball coaches, all quit in the last year. Like Nick Saban in college football. They said they left because the game had changed. How did it change? The purity and sanctity of college sports had been violated by new rules allowing the athletes to make money and allowing them to switch schools easily as coaches can. Oh, the horror, the horror. The game suddenly felt dirty to these coaches, which is funny because it's never been clean. These are college coaches quitting because it no longer is college sports, to which I say oh Lord, college basketball and college football never have had anything to do with college.

Speaker 1: 19:55

Occasionally there were student athletes by accident, but much of the time they were just athletes disguised as students. Like they always say, if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. It's been a money grab forever and in truth, the coaches now hate that. They just don't have to be high school recruiters, they now have to be fundraisers to outspend other schools in paying athletes. I should be mad about it all, but I can't get gambling mad. In fact, I'm just going to lie back down and dream of the days in which Joe Jock majored in biology and strolled across the campus in his letter jacket and hoped to beat State U in the big game Saturday. Oh my god, I just had a nightmare that Rudy Five Foot Nothing was taken under the table payments. Now I'm gambling mad.

Speaker 2: 21:02

Gambling Mad with Norm Chad is written by Norm Chad and ghost written by Norm Chad. Executive producer John Scheinberg, rick Barrio-Dill and produced by Norm Chad and Rick Barrio-Dill. Associate producers Brriodil and produced by Norm Chadd and Rick Barriodil. Associate producers Brie Pooley and on editing Asher Freidberg. Audio, video engineering and studio facilities provided by 360 Pod Studios Beverly Hills and Slap Studios LA. If you want to complain to Norm about anything, make sure to reach out at Gambling Mad Show, anywhere you get your socials, and at Gambling Mad with Norm Chad on YouTube, and if you really want to get at them, send a message to info at slapstudioslacom.