Super Bowl LIX, Trump's Second Week, and NBA Trades | Ep. 32

Is the Super Bowl rigged? We don't have the answers, but we've got plenty of theories! Join us on a rollercoaster ride of satire and humor as we hilariously predict a suspiciously familiar outcome for Super Bowl 59, with the Kansas City Chiefs once again defeating the Philadelphia Eagles. We poke fun at the NFL's alleged game scripting and dive into quirky sports myths like the infamous "curse of Cousins." Ever wondered why the Super Bowl clings to Roman numerals or why ads cost an arm and a leg? We've got some comical insights that might just tickle your curiosity. And if that's not enough, our "Trump Tittle Tattle" segment imagines President Trump's latest whimsical antics since his fictitious second term—think bizarre executive orders and outlandish sports celebrations.

Chapters

• 0:00 Super Bowl and Trump Gossip
• 18:57 Elon Musk's Impact on America

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

President Trump will be interviewed by Fox News' Brett Baier during the Super Bowl pregame, sunday. They will focus on all the good the Trump administration has done since reclaiming the White House last month, limiting the interview to just under 15 seconds. Norman Chad Norman Chad. Welcome to Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. I am Norman Chad, coming up today on the program Trump Plaza. Gaza might be coming your way. We uncover the mystery of the NBA's Mark Keefe and Marcus Morris Sr. And we will tell you why physicists are banned from Las Vegas. Gambling Mad, as always, brought to you by Fritos picked fresh off of Central California trees every morning, delivered directly to your local retailer every afternoon, and by the refreshing taste of Fresca Fritos and Fresca, it's a meal.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Super Bowl 59 is on Sunday. Not only is the NFL orchestrated and rigged the results this season to give us a Philadelphia Eagles-Kansas City Chiefs matchup. Yes, it has been scripted, ladies and gentlemen. In fact, I was given a copy of the script back in September, but did not want to spoil everyone's enjoyment by prematurely letting the cat out of the bag. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, yeah. So not only has the NFL set up this Eagles-Chiefs Super Bowl, the league has designed the game to provide the exact same result as Super Bowl 57. Yes, someone in New York I'm assuming Roger Goodell himself has decided that Super Bowl 59 will finish Chiefs 38, eagles 35. That was the exact final score between these two teams two Super Bowls ago.

Speaker 1: 2:06

So obviously I am going to take yeah, I'm not an idiot, I'm going to take the Chiefs. Well, okay, I'm an idiot, but I understand that the Chiefs are going to win by three points. I'm going to take the Chiefs minus one and a half. Kind of stupid to take the Eagles, since the game is fixed. Stupid to take the Eagles since the game is fixed. Actually, I should take the Chiefs also on the money line, but I don't want to take too much advantage of my insider information. Okay, so no reason to analyze or break down the game.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Let's just review for you some interesting Super Bowl tidbits. First of all, there's actually another reason the Chiefs are destined to win. It's called the curse of Cousins. No team, no team, has ever won the Super Bowl when it lost to Kirk Cousins during the regular season. This is actual fact. The Eagles lost to Cousins and the Atlanta Falcons in week two.

Speaker 1: 3:03

Next, why does the Super Bowl use Roman numerals? Well, back in ancient Rome, the annual year-end gladiator races were assigned numbers, roman numerals. Naturally, pete Rozelle, the NFL commissioner when the Super Bowl was created in 1967, had relatives that bet heavily on those gladiators in ancient Rome and as a tribute to them, he decided to assign Roman numerals to the big game. True story, all right.

Speaker 1: 3:36

Next, the NFL has decided to remove the end racism messaging from each of the Super Bowl end zones. A practice began in 2021. I'm not sure if this means we have ended racism or if it means racism is fashionable again. By the way, fox is televising this year's Super Bowl and, considering one of that network's longstanding traditions, it would be kind of cool if each end zone carried the message end Fox sexual misconduct. And finally, another Super Bowl record will be set this year the price for commercial time on the Fox telecast the most expensive ads will run $8 million for a 30-second spot. All the usual suspects will be advertising Anheuser-Busch, pepsi, taco Bell, frito-lay. Now, 123 million people watched last year's Super Bowl. What actually is our? What's our viewership right now on Gambling Mad?

Speaker 2: 4:43

67. 67?

Speaker 1: 4:48

67. 67? Yeah, okay, okay, okay, big difference. I understand Super Bowl a lot bigger than we are. But let me ask our friends at Frito-Lay I mean, do you really want to pay $8 million for 100 million plus viewers who might not even be paying attention at a party? Or how about $0 for a little ad time here? Do you know how good Fritos taste? That was a free plug. It's a better deal than the Super Bowl $8 million for 30 seconds. God, I love Fritos.

Speaker 1: 5:25

Time for Trump Tittle Tattle All the latest news of the reality TV star turned traitorous White House tenant. Cue the music. President Trump will be interviewed by Fox News' Brett Baier during the Super Bowl pregame Sunday. They will focus on all the good the Trump administration has done since reclaiming the White House last month, limiting the interview to just under 15 seconds. President Trump happily welcomed the Florida Panthers to the White House to celebrate their 2024 Stanley Cup title. The president often points to ice hockey rinks as another indication that climate change is a hoax.

Speaker 1: 6:10

President Trump is now talking about the United States taking over the Gaza Strip. There is an outside possibility. He meant the Las Vegas Strip, except Mr Trump has no idea how to run a casino. President Trump signed an executive order withdrawing the United States from the UN Human Rights Council. In its place, the president has proposed Proud Boys as our next partner. President Trump is moving to open a migrant detention facility at Guantanamo Bay for up to 30,000 people. Responding to human rights activists, the president pointed out that at least the site will have no resort fee. The Pentagon informed NBC, npr, the New York Times and Politico that they would have to rotate out of the building to accommodate press space for Breitbart, oann, the New York Post and HuffPost. President Trump's advisors talked him out of replacing the Wall Street Journal with Playboy magazine. And finally, president Trump has left instructions for aides to obliterate Iran if they assassinate him. He also has instructed Barron to flush his Black Book of Mistresses down the toilet. That is Trump Tittle tattle for this week, as many of you know.

Speaker 1: 7:33

As Elon Musk continues to volunteer his time to cut government waste, I continue to volunteer my time to find a way to add Canada to the USA without having to add a 51st state. Well, canadian expatriate Darren Johnson has contacted me and let me know that I'm approaching this situation all wrong, and you know he is right. Let's go over to the big map to show you what he is talking about. First of all, my apologies. I have begged our production staff to get me a map of all of North America. This is just a map of the USA and it makes our Canadian neighbors to the north and Mexico to the south just seem like a small stub of land. In fact, canada has a larger geographical area than the USA. That's right. Canada is bigger than us. So why should we try to incorporate Canada? No, no, no, no, no, no. If they will have us, canada should ask the. Yeah, we'd become part of Canada. Better beer, fewer guns, but either way, whether we become Canadians or Canadians become Americans, it's going to be a hot one in Phoenix this Sunday. Oh my God, 113 scorching degrees. But help is on the way. Trump is talking about taking over Arizona and redeveloping the land. It'll be pretty simple he will ask people from Arizona to relocate to Nevada and Utah and in the meantime, when he builds a statewide resort with a dome, phoenix is gonna cool off Traffic and weather on the fives all weekend. Back to the desk.

Speaker 1: 9:38

The NBA world is still in shock over the Luka Doncic-Anthony Davis trade. As part of the deal, markeith Morris went from the Dallas Mavericks to the Los Angeles Lakers, and therein lies a remarkable story we're going to talk about today. Markeith Morris was born September 2nd 1989 in Philadelphia. On that same date in Philadelphia, seven minutes later, marcus Morris was born to the same mother. Wow, how often does that happen? Okay, so they were born seven minutes apart. Then Markeith and Marcus both played basketball and in 2011, markeith was drafted into the NBA five minutes before Marcus was drafted into the NBA. They were drafted back-to-back by NBA teams. Are you kidding me? And this was after they both happened to play basketball for four years at the same college, kansas. Markeith Morris now has played for eight NBA teams, including twice with the LA Lakers. Marcus Morris has also played for eight NBA teams, including the LA Clippers.

Speaker 1: 10:52

They both played with the Detroit Pistons, but not at the same time, and they both played for the Phoenix Suns at the same time, and their career stats are just ridiculously similar. Markeith Morris has averaged 10.3 points a game, marcus Morris 12.0. Markeith averages 4.9 rebounds Marcus 4.4. Markeith averages 1.5 assists. Marcus also 1.5 assists.

Speaker 1: 11:22

Markeith's field goal percentage is 44.4. Marcus's is 43.5. Markeith makes 34.2% of his threes. Marcus makes 37.7%. Markeith is 77.8% on free throws. Marcus is 77.4%.

Speaker 1: 11:41

I have only half a mind left and this is still mind-blowing. To this day I cannot tell the two Morrises apart. And here's the kicker they are twin brothers. I never knew. How do you keep a secret like that for so long? I mean, it's incredible. And, by the way and you can't make this stuff up when they played in Phoenix, that was the second time the Suns had twin brothers on the same team. Dick and Tommy Van Arsdale played there in the 1976-1977 season. I am now going to give you all a moment to absorb all of this as I will.

Speaker 1: 12:30

Before we move on Twins, sit back while I tell you about Doug Gottlieb, who many of you might not be familiar with. He was a college basketball player in the late 1990s. He was most noted for losing his scholarship at Notre Dame his freshman year because he stole three credit cards from fellow students over a week's time and went on a small spending spree After his college days. Gottlieb then played pro basketball around the world never in the NBA. After his hoops days ended, he then started doing local radio. Somehow. Somehow he advanced to CBS Sports Radio, espn Radio and now Fox Sports Radio, with hosting a daily show. This is pretty remarkable because his shows really are incredibly pedestrian and I'm being kind here but he has now hosted them for 20 years.

Speaker 1: 13:37

Last year Wisconsin Green Bay offered him its position as head men's basketball coach. This is a slight head turner. This is a division one program and Gottlieb has no college or high school coaching experience. But here is where it goes, from being a head turner to a head spinner. Gottlieb said that he will take the job, but only if the school allows him to continue doing his three-hour-a-day, five-day-a-week talk radio show. And Wisconsin Green Bay said yes, okay, in Wisconsin Green Bay's defense, maybe they're thinking this will put us on the map and we'll get a lot more national exposure from Gottlieb's radio show. So maybe this will even help our bottom line.

Speaker 1: 14:32

Except it's crazy. I mean, who is this guy? Shohei Otani. Now, with Otani, you know he was terrific as a hitter and a pitcher in Japan, so you can't blame an MLB team for letting him try to do both when he got here to the States. On the other hand, doug Gottlieb is an abundantly mediocre talk radio show host with zero coaching chops. So who in their right mind would let him do both at the same time? It's two full-time jobs. Which brings us to this very moment.

Speaker 1: 15:07

Wisconsin Green Bay has lost 19 straight games, arguably the worst team in Division I. Naturally, gottlieb is getting torched on social media and by real media and he will have none of it. The guy is a national talk radio host, though his skill set is limited. He's a division one basketball coach with no prior experience. He's lost 19 in a row and he can't believe he is the object of ridicule. As for his critics, he said last week it's embarrassing how little they know and actually he is correct here but how hilarious, how hilarious is it that he's mad? People with little knowledge are blasting him when, well, that's exactly what he does for a living for the last 20 years. Like all of us with a mic, gottlieb talks every day about a wide variety of stuff he simply cannot know much about. It's the nature of the beast.

Speaker 1: 16:08

Gottlieb also said this last week when we start winning, I want a mea culpa from every effing one of you. Doug, I'm. I apologize to you in advance whenever you start winning. I'm also apologizing to you right now. If you ever become a really, really really good talk show, host, degen's gonna degen. No, today we have the opposite story and we have to reach back nearly 40 years to bring it to you.

Speaker 1: 16:48

The wonderful Neil deGrasse Tyson recently was on a podcast detailing an infamous physicist's convention from last century. In 1986, the American Physical Society, the APS, held its annual convention of physicists Convention of Physicists at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. 4,000 eggheads descended on Sin City. One week later a local paper had the headline Physicists in Town Lowest Casino Take Ever. Now, was this because these high IQ nerds knew the odds and how to beat the games? Not at all. It was because they did not play at all. They just sat in their rooms and didn't gamble. And they have never, never, been invited back. No degen, no room for you. Itinds me of one of my favorite physicist jokes A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a whiskey. The bartender smiles and tells him For you, no charge.

Speaker 1: 18:16

Before we wrap up, I'm going to say this one time, and one time only we are now the ugliest of Americans. We have pulled out of the World Health Organization. We have withdrawn from the Paris Climate Agreement. We have stepped away from the United Nations Human Rights Council. We have renamed the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. We want control of the Panama Canal, which is not ours. We want Denmark to sell us Greenland. We want Canada to become the 51st state. We want to dismantle the US Agency for International Development. We want to take over Palestinian land, paving the way for the Trump Plaza Gaza.

Speaker 1: 18:57

Donald Trump and Elon Musk have been dictators of the United States for just a couple of weeks right now, and suddenly the America the beautiful has become America the badass. The statue of Liberty no longer tells the world to give us your tired and your poor. The statue of Liberty now gives the world the middle finger. If I were almost anywhere abroad, I would not just fear the United States, I would loathe the United States. Then again, we haven't bombed anyone halfway around the world lately and we've got the Super Bowl this Sunday baby Chiefs 38, eagles 35. And that will do it for another edition of Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. Hope to see you again next time and remember, if you're gonna roll the dice, make sure they are loaded.

Speaker 1: 19:53

Elon Musk has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for his free speech advocacy. The world's richest man is credited for saving free speech with his purchase of Twitter and recasting it as X. He calls X the world's town square. X is the world's town sewer. X marks the spot for hate and profanity and homophobia and toxicity and endless fiction disguised as fact. Elon cares about free speech about as much as a eunuch cares about your testicles.

Speaker 1: 20:25

When free speech is hate speech, it's hard to smile and say have a nice day. When free speech becomes disinformation, it's hard to smile and say have a nice day. When free speech devolves into electronic lynch mob, it's hard to smile and say have a nice day. Elon manipulates his platform for his own political and business needs, his platform for his own political and business needs. Elon is tearing down America. One don't trust the media post at a time. Just look at how Elon operates with Doge. There are now three branches of government and Elon Musk. So if Elon Musk is given the Nobel Peace Prize, I will exercise my free speech rights to throw up in my mouth, go to the window, open it and stick my head out and yell I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore because I will be gambling mad.

Speaker 2: 21:19

Gambling Mad with Norman Chad is written by Norman Chad and ghosts, written by Norman Chad. Executive producers are John Scheinberg and Rick Barriodil. Produced by Norman Chad and Rick Barriodil. Our associate producers are Brie Coorey and Asher Freidberg. And edited by Asher Freidberg, with studio facilities at 360 Pod Studios, beverly Hills.