Trump Quotes Napoleon, Elon's Numerous Children, and NBA MVPs | Ep. 34

Why do Canadians boo the U.S. national anthem? Could Stephen A. Smith's presidential ambitions be the next chapter in the circus of American politics? Join me, Norman Chad, on this uproarious episode of Gambling Mad as I tackle these burning questions. We explore the Canadian backlash to U.S. policies under President Trump, with a spotlight on anthem booing as a symbol of our strained relations. From there, we revel in the indulgences of Las Vegas dining, where seating has become a game of chance and extra fees—reminiscent of flying Spirit Airlines. Dive into the realm of the absurd with Georgia Republican Earl "Buddy" Carter's Greenland acquisition proposal, proving once again that truth is stranger than fiction.

Chapters

• 0:00 Gambling Mad and Political Banter
• 19:16 Stephen a Smith

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

He who saves his country does not violate any law. Upon reading the President's proclamation, I had my therapist triple my dose of Xanax and I feel quite calm and relaxed right now. Norman Chad, Norman Chad, Norman Chad. Welcome to Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. I am Norman Chad.

Speaker 1: 0:33

Coming up today on the program where you sit in a restaurant might cost you more money. How you bet on the NBA MVP might make you more money. You bet on the NBA MVP might make you more money, and sleeping with Elon Musk might get you a baby who should be named Mo Money. Gambling Mad, as always, brought to you by Fritos picked fresh off of Central California trees every morning, delivered directly to your local retailer every afternoon, and by the refreshing taste of Fresca. Fritos and Fresca. It's a meal.

Speaker 1: 1:11

So the national anthem is getting booed in Canada. Canadians have been booing the Star-Spangled Banner before NBA and NHL games this month and then at the US-Canada hockey match last weekend. Now, Canadians generally are kinder and gentler than Americans. They don't shoot and kill each other several times a day. They don't bomb nations halfway around the world to protect their interests. So why are they booing our national anthem? Well, because we deserve to be booed. Canada and the United States are our friendly neighbors, but President Trump is springing 25% tariffs on Canadian goods and President Trump continues to insist that Canada should become our 51st state. Both of these actions are insulting to our neighbors and, honestly, why would a Canadian want to be part of the good old USA? Sure, we have better weather and better food. That's about it, Heck. Sctv was always better than Saturday Night Live. We're no longer number one in anything other than telling people. We are number one in everything. We're supposed to be the shining city on the hill, but these days we're more of a used car lot on a slippery slope. I will advise Canadians of this much you can keep booing the national anthem and it won't make a bit of difference. At best America will just ignore you, because most Americans think America is never wrong, and at worst we'll just flip a middle finger at you, assuming neither of our hands has a gun in it.

Speaker 1: 3:00

Several years back, some restaurants started charging a fee if you wanted to make a reservation at a prime time. So if you were looking at, say, $7.30 on a Saturday night, the reservation alone on top of your meal, the reservation alone would cost you maybe $25 or $50. Naturally, I was not happy about that, but I let it go. First of all, you know we do live in a market-driven economy. It's whatever the market will bear, so any business can do as it wishes and then adjust to how the market reacts. Second of all, these were mostly, if not exclusively, very high-end she-she restaurants that I was never going to be patronizing anyway. Once Five Guys starts taking reservations, then I'll start monitoring the situation more closely. Ah, but now restaurants are diving into another artificial moneymaker and I'm not taking this one sitting down.

Speaker 1: 4:01

I have three words for you Tiered restaurant seating. Tiered restaurant seating means you pay a premium for better tables, and where might this trend be getting started? Last week we talked about how visitors to Las Vegas have grown tired of resort fees and parking fees and the movement to monetize every single action you might take while in town. Naturally, of course, Las Vegas is now looking to take your money before you eat, when you go to eat, by bringing us tiered restaurant seating. Mgm Resorts might institute this in many of its property's restaurants. If you've got a view of the strip, it will cost you more. If you've just got a view of the kitchen, it will cost you less.

Speaker 1: 4:54

It's sort of like seating at a theater show or at a concert the closer to the stage, the more you pay. It's also just plain obnoxious. You know why? Stop at premium seating. Why not adopt Spirit Airlines a la carte pricing model? You want chairs with backs instead of stools Five bucks. You want real plates instead of paper plates Five bucks. You want a fork and a knife with a napkin Five bucks. Where will it end? At Las Vegas, Anyway. You now say tiered restaurant seating. I say Popeye's drive-thru Time for Trump. Tittle, Tattle, All the latest news about our con man-in-chief Cue the music.

Speaker 2: 5:43

Our con man-in-chief Cue the music.

Speaker 1: 5:49

President Trump attended the Daytona 500, although minutes after it began, elon Musk announced new doge cuts that turned the race into the Daytona 100. President Trump passed enforcement of the Foreign Corrupt Policy Practices Act, thus allowing US companies to once again bribe foreign governments to obtain business. Eric Trump said it felt like Christmas in July. Then Don Jr politely told his brother that we are currently in February. President Trump signed an executive order that prohibits federal funding to schools enforcing COVID vaccine mandates. Fyi, there are currently no public schools requiring the vaccines. The president also plans to sign an executive order that prohibits burning witches. At the stake, president Trump will be firing all probationary federal employees, which includes one-tenth of the workforce of the CDC, the Centers for Disease Control. The president firmly believes that if you eliminate 10% of the CDC, you also can eliminate 10% of all diseases. President Trump posted on Truth, social and X the following 10 words he who saves his country does not violate any law. Upon reading the president's proclamation, I had my therapist triple my dose of Xanax and I feel quite calm and relaxed right now. President Trump fired David Huiteba, the director of the Office of Government Ethics, and replaced him with a coat check girl.

Speaker 1: 7:34

And finally, in other government news, georgia Republican Earl Buddy Carter introduced a bill that would authorize President Trump to acquire Greenland and rename it Red, white and Blueland. This is the joke, and it's true. White and blue land this is the joke, and it's true, repeating. We will acquire Greenland and rename it red, white and blue land, or blue land or blue land. My work is done here today. Did you know that about 71% of the Earth's surface is covered by water? And did you know that my two favorite bodies of water are the Pacific Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico? I love the Gulf of Mexico, or as they call it in Canada, the Gulf of Mexico, or as they call it in Canada, the Gulf of Mexico, for no particular reason. I want to see how many times I can say Gulf of Mexico in 15 seconds.

Speaker 3: 8:39

Okay, let's do it. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of Mexico. Golf of Mexico. Golf of Mexico. Golf of Mexico. Golf of Mexico. Golf of Mexico.

Speaker 1: 8:56

I don't think we got the record. Okay, I don't think we got the record. Let's try it one more time, one more time.

Speaker 2: 9:06

Golf of Mexico, golf of Mexico, golf of Mexico, golf of Mexico, golf of Mexico, Golf of Mexico, golf of Mexico, golf of Mexico. Go for Mexico, go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico, go for Mexico Go for Mexico.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Go for Mexico.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Go for Mexico. Go for Mexico. I'm fired. 72 million low-income Americans use Medicaid to pay medical bills, but Doge has to find spending reductions somewhere to help President Trump's proposed tax cut. So MAGA might be taking a meat axe to Medicaid, which means this is a good time for our new weekly reminder. There is MAGA Okay, maga's nice. There is MAGA Okay, maga's nice. But now there is MEGA, huh, huh. And let me tell you MEGA is better than MAGA. Why is MEGA better than MAGA? Mega is make Elon go away, let's go mega. We're going to get that trending worldwide. Ah, you say sperm count. I say Elon Musk. And man, oh man, are his boys swimming? Let's look at a couple of numbers. Okay, elon has 219 million followers on X Wow. But more impressively and quite coincidentally, elon has 219 million sperm per milliliter of semen. Those are Mensa-type numbers, and the world's richest man is not letting them go to waste. We just found out that he has fathered yet another child. It was revealed he had a baby five months ago with a young conservative influencer, a hot MAGA seductress or, if you will, a hot MAGA coquette. But you're not familiar with coquette? Google it, you hockadoodles. All right, so here is your official Elon Musk sugar daddy update. In 2024, he fathered two children with two different mothers. At age 53, elon now has fathered a total of 13 children with four different mothers. At age 53, elon now has fathered a total of 13 children with four different women. This compares quite favorably with Nick Cannon's 12 children with six different women. All right, we have a little time here, so let us run down the lineup of Elon's creations. We have them all for you. All right, there is Nevada. Then Vivian Griffin came along, kai Saxton, damien, fan favorite X, lesser known, lesser known Exa, strider, azor or Azure, as you please, techno. And then there was baby number 12. And baby number 13. These last two one born in early 2024, one born in late 2024, they reportedly have not been named yet and will not be given names until Elon meets them. Last week I told you, and in fact I convinced you, through persuasive argument and boyish charm, why you should bet on the Denver Nuggets to win the NBA title at 14-1 odds. The NBA title at 14-1 odds. This week, again through persuasive argument and slightly older boyish charm, I'm going to tell you who to bet on in the NBA Most Valuable Player race. The problem is there is not much value here. Value is finding a Van Gogh framed print for $13.99 at HomeGoods. That is a much better deal than you're going to find betting on the NBA MVP right now. It's a two-man race Shea Gilgis-Alexander or Nikola Jokic and Shea is a big favorite. He probably deserves the MVP His OKC Thunder with the league's best record, and Shea is averaging 32.5 points, 5.1 rebounds and 6.1 assists a game. He's been spectacular at times, but he is minus 500 on the betting markets. You have to risk $500 to win $100. I never liked the sound of that. So I'm telling you to seek a little value and hope that my BFF, the Joker, makes up ground and takes down the MVP. Right now, the Denver Nuggets superstar is at about plus 300. That means you risk $100 and able to win 300. You risk $100 and able to win $300. So let's just do it. Let's put down the $100. He's won MVP three of the last four seasons Another reason, frankly, that voters might lean towards Shea this year. And let me just go over the Joker's numbers again. He is averaging a triple-double 29.8 points, 12.6 rebounds, 10.2 assists. Then there is my favorite NBA stat, the player efficiency rating, per, which tracks all types of on-court activity. Only two or three players in the league exceed a 30 PER in any season and the Joker does it every season. The last five years he's in the number one or number two in per each season. He's on top again this year with Shea number two. The Joker watch the games. He virtually does not make a mistake on the court. He doesn't make a move that isn't specific to the game. Even his shoelaces are tied to perfection. So let's risk that $100, not a penny more, because I'm usually wrong. On Nikola Jokic to win MVP in the NBA. One more note If you are seeking real value, you want to try to hit a home run, look no further than Giannis, another former MVP. He's having a great season but he is a distant third to the other two, and I mean distant. You can get about 101 on Giannis winning MVP A big payoff. Hey, maybe he will be so dominant after the All-Star break that he will just surpass Shea and the Joker. Here are Giannis' numbers. And hey, don't you just love it when just digging into the numbers like I have here on the NBA 31.8 points, 12.2 rebounds, 5.9 assists a game. He's shooting 61% from the field and he is third in player efficiency rating. But, as I told you, I'm going with the Joker. By the way, if any of you out there can find a Rembrandt framed print for under $20 at Ross Dress for Less, shoot me a DM over at X. I'm at Norman Chad. Thank you very much. You've got mail. Before we wrap up, I'm going to say this one time and one time only the only thing worse than the Daytona 500 is the Westminster dog show. Worse than the Daytona 500 is the Westminster dog show. I have no interest in cars whirring around a track at 180 miles per hour. I have no interest in dogs being led around a ring by their owners. Monty yes, monty just became the first giant schnauzer to ever win best in show at Westminster. Hey, I wish Monty had pooped during the awards ceremony. You think dogs want to be part of a dog show? If all the Kardashians had four legs, sure, but trust me, no real dog wants to be on a leash while being told to heal Folks. Of the ten best relationships I have had in my life, six or seven of them have been with dogs. These dogs all told me and I know you're not going to believe me these dogs all told me that they would prefer to have no collar on and that they would occasionally like to drink something other than lukewarm water in a bowl, and they'd love to sit down at the dinner table with us once in a while, and they hate dog shows, or as uh as blue said to me the other day as Blue said to me the other day Woof, woof, woof.

Speaker 1: 18:58

Woof, woo, woof, woof, woof. Exactly That'll do it for another edition of Gambling Mad with Norman Shad. Hope to see you again next time and remember, if you're going to roll the dice, make sure they are loaded. For a long time I've wondered what are we going to do with Stephen A Smith. But now the question is what is Stephen A Smith going to do to us?

Speaker 1: 19:28

Stephen A Smith has made a career out of playing a character on TV, a bloviating blowhard, a staccato rhythm soliloquist who screams nonsensical anities about sports on ESPN Daily. You could say he puts the E in ESPN if you consider it entertainment to listen to overstated and underbaked kernels of thoughtless verbiage. At least his comically bad Screamin' A takes have largely been limited to sports. Until now, stephen A's ego was so large he walked sideways into most rooms to fit his head through the doorway. Years ago he talked about becoming the next Jimmy Kimmel. My goodness, do we really need the next Jimmy Kimmel?

Speaker 1: 20:10

But now Stephen A Smith wants to be the next Donald J Trump. He thinks he can be president. Wants to be the next Donald J Trump. He thinks he can be president. He thinks he should be president. To which I say do it, just do it, stephen A, I beg of you, please accelerate the fall of the American empire. We've gone from the best and the brightest to the worst and the loudest, so let's keep filling the White House with TV talkers and twiddly-dum tweeters, people who think in sound bites and have the intellectual capacity of a lawnmower. Take me out of my misery, stephen A, just do it, just do it, do it, do it, just do it, just do it. And this time, when Mr Smith goes to Washington, I will jump out of my basement apartment and go gambling. I will jump out of my basement apartment and go gambling mad.

Speaker 4: 21:09

Gambling Mad with Norman Chad is written by Norman Chad and ghostwritten by Norman Chad. Executive producers are John Scheinberg and Rick Barriodil. Produced by Norman Chadd and Rick Barriodil. Our associate producers are Brie Khoury and Asher Freidberg. And edited by Asher Freidberg, with studio facilities at 360 Pod Studios, beverly Hills.