Torpedo Bats, the Betterment of Poker, and the Power of the Penny | Ep. 40

Norman Chad delivers his irreverent takes on sports innovations, questionable contracts, and cultural observations with trademark wit and surprising insights. The host examines baseball's controversial torpedo bat technology, Juan Soto's massive $565 million Mets contract, and reveals the mind-boggling math behind doubling a penny for 30 days.

Chapters

• 0:30 Welcome to Gambling Mad
• 1:40 Yankees' Torpedo Bat Controversy
• 3:49 Pole Vaulting and Sports Technology
• 5:20 MLB & NBA Money Matters
• 9:00 The Incredible Power of a Penny
• 13:26 Trump Tittle Tattle News Update
• 15:43 Mount Rushmore of Film Actresses
• 21:17 Beyond No Limit Hold'em Poker
• 23:55 Tattoo Culture in America
• 26:39 The Tush Push Debate

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I was most impressed when she got her left forearm tatted with a key, a key that was a tribute to her love for her wife, nina. That inspired me. I now tape a house key to my arm so I won't lose it. Norman Chadd, norman Chadd. Welcome to Gambling Mad with Norman Chadd. I am Norman Chadd Coming up on the program today.

Speaker 1: 0:39

Let's talk Juan Soto. Why? Because I want to. Let's talk Tush Push and tattoos. Why, because I want to. Let's talk tush push and tattoos. Why? Because I want to. And let's talk poker and how it should change. Why? Because it's the only thing I know anything about other than vending machines.

Speaker 1: 0:57

Gambling Mad as always, brought to you by Fritos Picked fresh off of Central California trees every morning, delivered directly to your local retailer every afternoon, and by the refreshing taste of Fresca. Fritos and Fresca, it's a meal. Back in the day and I'm talking the Civil War an admiral famously said damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead. These days, the expression has been updated to damn the torpedo bats and those damn Yankees. So it turns out, the New York Yankees, with the help of a former MIT physicist, have redesigned the bat that is used to hit the ball, and now the Bronx Bombers are blasting home runs every seven minutes of every day. Some baseball fans say the Yankees are cheating. Now I hate the Yankees as much as the next guy sitting in an Indianapolis hotel bar wondering if I'll ever get lucky again. But the bats are within MLB specifications. The torpedo bat is shaped a bit like a torpedo. They just move the bulk of the wood from the top part of the bat into the middle of the bat. Now I don't want to get too technical here, but this innovation helps bad hitters get better, sort of like ASOS with a bad steak. See, a bad hitter sometimes is late on his swing and the MIT guy said hey, let's move the weight of the bat to that part of the bat Because they get there late. They're not hitting the top part of the bat where you're supposed to. They get there late. Let's move it to the middle of the bat. So that means if you're not good enough to get hits now, you'll be good enough to get hits and bang all. The Yankees just morphed into mini Aaron Judges. Now this bat's not for everyone. Aaron Judge, for instance, doesn't need it and he doesn't use it. Anyway, soon every team will have players using the torpedo bat and maybe every team will have every other player on its roster hitting 40 homers a year.

Speaker 1: 3:06

Mlb must decide if it wants this sea change to the game or not. You know, it's simply a question of new equipment creating heightened results. This is common in all sports. Tennis rackets went from wood to aluminum. Golf clubs went from wood to steel to titanium. Bowling balls went from rubber to plastic to urethane. The equipment improves the athlete's performance. Look at the history of condoms. Same thing.

Speaker 1: 3:37

There is one sporting pursuit in which the equipment keeps changing so radically. I just ignore the evolution of its record-breaking pole vaulting. Are you folks familiar with the pole vault? Now I understand the high jump. You know the athlete runs and attempts to then jump over a horizontal bar. I wouldn't devote my life to it. But like they say, different strokes for different folks. But then there's the pole vault. Somebody said let's run towards that bar, like in the high jump, then at the last moment we'll stick a pole in the ground and that'll help us vault over the bar even higher. Go figure, someone actually thought of this before gummies were commonplace. I wouldn't devote my life to it. But like they say, different strokes for different folks. But look at the history of this event. At the very start they were using bamboo poles. They probably broke pretty easily. Then they went to aluminum poles, then fiberglass poles and then they went to carbon fiber. The world record went from 10 feet 4 inches in 1849 to 15 feet 7 inches in 1942 to 20 feet 6 and 3 quarter inches. Today. They're jumping twice as high as they did 175 years ago, thanks to technology advances, so I just don't even watch it anymore. Why don't they just stick an Elon Musk designed rocket up your ass and maybe you can pole vault to the moon or to Mars?

Speaker 1: 5:12

Maybe some of you disagree with me. I don't give a damn what you think. We like to talk money here on Gambling Mad. We like to talk money because we don't have money. So today we're going to talk about what might be the most misspent money ever in Major League Baseball. But first let me say this All over the place I hear people telling me the NBA and MLB are dead or dying. Neither is true. Money talks and bullshit walks. Here are two numbers that ought to tell you the NBA is alive and well and profitable 6.1 billion dollars and 76 billion dollars. The Boston Celtics were just sold for 6.1 billion dollars, the largest price ever for a North American sports franchise. And a bit before that, the NBA signed a new 11-year agreement with its national TV partners that will pay $76 billion through the 2035-36 season. Meanwhile, mlb, in spite of itself, still is a money-making machine.

Speaker 1: 6:28

What I'm about to tell you might sound simple and stupid, but it's true. If these baseball owners keep signing players to contracts for hundreds of millions of dollars, my guess is they can afford to pay them hundreds of millions of dollars, which brings us to what might be the most misspent money in MLB history. Juan Soto, at age 26, is one of baseball's best players. This past offseason, the New York Mets signed him to a 15-year contract totaling $565 million. $565 million Let that number sink in and I'll get back to it in just a moment.

Speaker 1: 7:14

The Mets are owned by billionaire hedge fund master, steve Cohen. He likes to overpay for big, shiny objects. He bought a Jeff Koons steel sculpture in 2019 for $91.1 million. He bought a Picasso painting in 2013 for $155 million. Fyi, I bought a dogs playing poker print last week for $6.95. And now Cohen has bought the services of Juan Soto through 2039 for $765 million. Soto will earn $51 million a year for the next 15 years. It is not a bargain.

Speaker 1: 8:06

What I'm about to tell you might sound simple and stupid, but it's true. 15 years from now, juan Soto is going to be 15 years older. Hey, remember, this is free programming. Soto, as I mentioned, is 26 years old. At the end of his Mets contract, he will be 41. There's an old expression time is undefeated. Forget 41.

Speaker 1: 8:33

By the time Soto is 31, he might be in the throes of diminished production. From 30 and onward, most power hitters in baseball start to decline significantly. The body gives in. Mike Trout, bryce Harper probably both headed to the Hall of Fame Trout is 33. Harper is 32. In their 20s they were monsters like Soto, but once they hit 30, injuries started to mount. Same thing happened to me. I was married a couple of times back in my glory days, but only once since turning 45. I just can't walk down that aisle as well as I once did. I wish Juan Soto the best, but $765 million over 15 years is fool's gold, and in this case, steve Cohen is the fool and Juan Soto's got the gold.

Speaker 1: 9:29

Okay, let's talk about the kind of money with which I am more familiar the penny. Earlier this year, president Trump announced that the Treasury Department would cease to make the penny. This makes sense. It costs too much to produce new pennies and nobody really wants to deal with them anyhow. However, let me ask my somewhat astute audience and production staff this If you take one penny and double it every day for 30 days, how much money will you end up with?

Speaker 1: 10:02

Interesting huh? Think in your mind, think of a figure. Let's do it and figure it out. Double a penny for 30 days. Here we go. Day one Day one one cent. Day two two cents. Day three four cents. Day four eight cents. At the end of the week day seven you are going to have 64 cents. Man, this is a slow road to riches.

Speaker 1: 10:38

At the end of two weeks day 14, we're up to $81.92, about halfway in, ah, but at this point you're not going to believe the power of the penny. At the end of three weeks day 21, we are somehow up to $10,485.76. How, how Well. 81 doubled to 163, to 327, to 655, to 1310, to 2621, to 5242, to $10,485.76 on day 21. Let's continue.

Speaker 1: 11:20

Day 22, over 20 grand. Day 23,. Nearly $42,000, just doubling that penny every day. Day 24, $87,886 and change Eight pennies, day 25. My goodness, into six figures $167,700. $167,000. Day 26.

Speaker 1: 11:51

We started with a penny $335,000. Day 27. $671,000. Day 27, $671,000. And then day 28,. Your penny has doubled every day to $1.3 million. You're a millionaire in four weeks. A millionaire in four weeks. Okay, let's just go to day 29. $2.9 million, oh, $2.6 million, which brings us to day 30.

Speaker 1: 12:26

My original question you double a penny every day for 30 days. How much do you have at the end? Am I looking at this correctly? Am I looking at this correctly? That single penny has doubled again and again to $5,368,709.12. My mind is officially boggled. My mind is officially blown away. So forget about all those fancy economic stimuli and reducing taxes, you know, and so on and so forth. If all of us take a single, a single shiny penny today, then find two pennies tomorrow, then keep doubling this for just four weeks, everyone in America can be a millionaire. And if you somehow do this for two more days after that, we will all have $5 million plus. It's a miracle. That's the story of the penny Time for Trump. Tittle, tattle, all the latest news on our president in perpetuity. Cue the music, cue the music.

Speaker 1: 13:38

President Trump nominated Leo Brent Boesel III as US ambassador to South Africa. Boesel once said that Barack Obama quote looks like a skinny ghetto crackhead. For the record, obama is skinny but has been gaining weight the past several years. President Trump pardoned Trevor Milton convicted in 2022 of securities fraud and wire fraud. Milton's lawyer, brad Bondi, is the brother of Trump-appointed Attorney General Pam Bondi, and Milton donated $1.8 million to a Trump fundraising committee last year. It's good to know that money can still buy happiness.

Speaker 1: 14:23

President Trump, at Kid Rock's request, has agreed to welcome comedian Bill Maher in Washington. There's an outside chance. Sources say the meeting will be moved outside of the White House because there is no room there large enough to accommodate both egos. President Trump has played golf at home at his home course in Florida nine of the 10 weekends since taking office. The 10th weekend, he alphabetized his collection of Donald Trump Time magazine covers, time magazine covers. And finally, in other news, 11 nations Belgium, canada, denmark, finland, france, germany, ireland, netherlands, new Zealand, portugal and the United Kingdom have issued a travel advisory warning their citizens about visiting the United States Now. Frankly, I think the US is still safe to visit. In fact, I highly recommend to everyone to take in a taping of the Price is Right here in Los Angeles, and the Price is Right, tickets are free, and that is this week's Trump Tittle Tattle.

Speaker 1: 15:43

How is it possible that Coca-Cola is on my Mount Rushmore of soft drinks but I didn't know until last week that there's a special yellow cap Coca-Cola this time of year. If I had someone to replace me tomorrow I would fire myself from gambling mad today. Yes, there is a yellow cap Coca-Cola. Why is this Coke different from all other Cokes? Your regular red capped Coca-Cola contains corn syrup. Corn syrup is not kosher for Passover, so Coke switches to a different formula for some of its production of Cokes, replacing the corn syrup with sugar. Thus every spring, as we approach Passover and only every spring you can find this yellow-capped Coke with cane sugar. And guess what? Passover Coke and Mexican Coke essentially are using identical ingredients. As many of you may recall, mexican Coke is next level Coke, the best Coca-Cola in the world, and these yellow capped Cokes, usually in two liter bottles, are much cheaper here in the US than Mexican Coke. So I went out to the grocery stores nearest me and, of course, all gone, I could not score any Passover Coke. I went to four different grocery stores within a mile and a half of me. By the way, I'm not trying to pick a fight. Do you know how many Jewish people are in my life who never mentioned this Passover Coke business to me? Is there some type of Jewish cabal out there protecting the supply of yellow capped Coke for the chosen people? I will not have it the Jewish people.

Speaker 1: 17:29

Last week, we gave you the Mount Rushmore of Hollywood film actors Humphrey Bogart, marlon Brando, paul Newman, denzel Washington. This week, the Mount Rushmore of film actresses. Now, remember, as I mentioned last week, there are dozens and dozens of actors and actresses who are Mount Rushmore worthy. You just can't pick four. So on my Mount Rushmore, it's simply my favorites. They're not necessarily the best, but they're closest to my heart. Let's do it. Ingrid Bergman Like co-star Humphrey Bogart, she gets onto my Mount Rushmore for Casablanca alone. But aside from Casablanca, we're talking For Whom the Bell Tolls? Gaslight, spellbound, notorious, she won three Oscars and four Golden Globe Awards, and I know Ingrid Bergman is not responsible for this. But in no world does Rick allow Ilsa to fly away with Victor Laszlo. I still haven't gotten over that.

Speaker 1: 18:34

Next Grace Kelly. Haven't gotten over that. Next Grace Kelly. When I was a kid, I was told Grace Kelly was the most beautiful woman in the world. Okay, okay, nobody can really hold that title officially, unlike the fact that we know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the Pacific Ocean is the number one ocean in the world. But then in college I saw the three Alfred Hitchcock films that Kelly did in the 1950s Dial M for Murder, rear Window and To Catch a Thief and I was mesmerized. Ah, but here's the tragedy Her acting career ended at age 26. 26 26 because she met the prince of monaco and became princess grace of monaco. This beast of a man kept her under wraps in the royal palace for the rest of her life, polishing flatware and silverware. This crumbum prince, prince Rainier III, swept Grace Kelly out of Hollywood, out of our lives, and the United Nations should have imprisoned him for a crime against humanity. I still haven't gone over that.

Speaker 1: 19:50

Next, jessica Lange. How has this woman not had even a bigger film career than she has? She slays me every time I see her up there on the big screen. She's won Academy Awards, emmy Awards and a Tony Award. That's called the Triple Crown of Acting. Plus, she won five Golden Globe Awards. She is the only person who should ever play Blanche DuBois on stage in A Streetcar Named Desire. She always appears to be a troubled character on screen, but if she walked into this podcast studio today I would have to call Tony and let her know I'm not coming home for dinner.

Speaker 1: 20:34

And finally, a given Meryl Streep. Jessica Lange and Meryl Streep were born two months apart, in 1949. 1949 was a very good year. Nobody has ever been better than Meryl Streep in transforming herself into her characters. She is so chameleon-like. She could play a chameleon, I believe. I honestly believe Meryl Streep could win an Academy Award portraying a windmill. And there you have your Mount Rushmore of film actresses Ingrid Bergman, grace Kelly, jessica Lange and Meryl Streep. No pretenders there.

Speaker 1: 21:17

Let's talk poker. Poker is a great game, but it's more than just no limit hold'em and I think we're holding back the growth of poker by not promoting and building the other games. Almost every card room I walk into, almost every table, offers no limit hold'em, why? Well, industry folks and players tell me that's what the public wants. But I would bet my bottom dollar which, to be honest, is often the only dollar I have left that people would flock to the other games if they had the chance when you go to the grocery store. Sure, bread, milk and eggs are the core items, but people will buy also a can of corn, a box of cereal and certainly Jif crunchy peanut butter if it's available. In fact, at some point they'll stop coming to that market if all those other items are not available for them.

Speaker 1: 22:11

Let me ask poker players this as well why do you want to keep playing the exact game, the exact same game, for hours and hours? Why do you want to keep just staring at two cards? Imagine getting four cards or five, four cards or five. There is a wonderful life out there beyond no Limit. Hold'em. Pot Limit, omaha, plo 8, stud, stud 8, omaha 8, double Board Omaha Two boards are better than one Raz don't get me started on the joys of Raz.

Speaker 1: 22:46

And there are actually many, many other games you've probably never even heard of that are more fun than sex without a partner. Ever heard of Drama Doogie? It is life-changing. Don't you remember as a kid that when you'd go to the amusement park, you know sometimes you want to ride the roller coaster, but other times you just want to go on the Ferris wheel. The same concept can apply to us. As an adult in a card room. I can't tell you how many poker colleagues of mine have been introduced to some of the other games and they've never gone back to no-limit hold'em Plus these no-lim limit hold'em savants. They wear hoodies, sunglasses, earbuds. Mixed game players actually talk to each other, we socialize, we appear or pretend to be human and, trust me, if you look through the annals of recorded history, you'll see that time and again, razz players get all the great women.

Speaker 1: 23:55

Let's talk tattoos. Everybody perked up around here. Huh Dogs in this studio are even tattooed. Quick question In America, do men or women have more tattoos? I consider myself somewhat of an expert in this area. When I moved to Los Angeles more than 30 years ago, I noticed that every other person was tatted up At the very studio where we do Gambling Mad. At the very studio where we do Gambling Mad, they only hire applicants whose body is minimum 78% covered in tattoos. My guess is California is a tattoo culture hotbed and my guess is that men get tattoos more than women. Unfortunately, as is often the case here on Gambling Mad, I would be wrong. 38% of American women have at least one tattoo, compared to 27% of American men. According to Pew Research Center, more than half of American women between the ages of 18 and 49 have a tattoo. Incidentally, if you follow UFC, you'll notice that almost every fighter is way tatted up.

Speaker 1: 25:17

I remember watching Amanda Nunes, former UFC women's Bantamweight and featherweight champion, now retired, and being amazed by her multiple tattoos. I was most impressed when she got her left forearm tatted with a key A key that was a tribute to her love for her wife, nina. That inspired me. I now tape a house key to my arm so I won't lose it A tribute to my wife Tony's fabulous cooking. I never want to miss a meal Before we wrap up.

Speaker 1: 26:00

I'm going to say this one time and one time only Stop vandalizing Teslas. It's just plain dumb. That'll do it for another edition of Gambling Mad. What my one time was short, too short. Hey, there's an associate producer back there going like this, like we got to cut it short because we've gone overtime. Now he's going like this no, I'm not going to stretch it out. Okay, I said what I said one time and one time only. I'm not going to say it a second time. Who works here? That'll do it for another edition of Gambling Mad with Norm and Chad. Hope to see you next time and remember if you're going to roll the dice, make sure they're loaded.

Speaker 1: 26:55

This is why I know the NFL is the emperor of American professional sports. We are in the midst of March Madness, the NBA and the NHL are driving toward the playoffs, and MLB just had its opening day, but all that the yakety-yaketers on ESPN are yaketing about is the tush push. The tush push is the quarterback sneak play the Philadelphia Eagles introduced in 2022, in which half the team seems to push the QB for a first down or into the end zone. Nobody can stop it, so a bunch of NFL teams figure they may as well ban it. Some coaches and experts argue it's not a football play. Please, domestic violence is not a football play, but it's routinely allowed by the NFL. Anyway, I don't care what they do with it, I just want to move on.

Speaker 1: 27:45

I don't like thinking about the tush push. I don't like hearing about the tush push. I don't like hearing about the tush push. I don't like talking about the tush push. I don't even like saying the words tush push. Personally, I prefer if they called it the butt strut or the ass brass Anything but tush push. Give me bush push, smush push, kush push, shush Push, even George W Bush Push. But no more Tush Push or I will go gambling mad.

Speaker 2: 28:21

Gambling Mad with Norman Chad is written by Norman Chad and Ghosts, written by Norman Chad. Executive producers are John Scheinberg and Rick Barriodil. Produced by Norman Chad and Rick Barriodil. Our associate producers are Bree Khoury and Asher Freidberg. And edited by Asher Freidberg, with studio facilities at 360 Pod Studios, beverly Hills.