World's Richest People, WSOP, and Crossing the Border | Ep. 45

Ever wondered what separates the ultra-wealthy from the rest of us? In this hilarious and sharply satirical episode of Gambling Mad, Norman Chad takes you on a wild ride through the absurdities of modern wealth and betting culture. From Bernard Arnault’s luxury empire to Elon Musk’s $349 billion fortune—complete with “Elonomaniac” antics—Norman skewers the richest with biting wit. He dives into Shaquille O’Neal’s empire of Five Guys and fitness centers, waxes poetic about Randy’s Donuts, and spotlights the compulsive madness of gambling in his “Degen’s Gonna Degen” segment, featuring Iowa State’s betting scandal and a Carnival Cruise brawl gone awry. Poker fans get a goldmine in Norman’s 13-point survival guide to the World Series of Poker, with timeless tips like “bring cash” and “don’t talk to me in the bathroom.” Topping it off are his hot takes on why NBA playoffs beat March Madness and how soccer’s injury time drives gamblers crazy. If you love comedy, cards, and commentary on money's wild grip on our lives, don’t miss this episode—and subscribe for more sardonic brilliance.

Chapters

• 0:00 Bathroom Etiquette and Show Introduction
• 1:03 World's Richest People Countdown
• 7:17 Shaq's Business Empire
• 12:02 D-Gen's Gonna D-Gen Cases
• 14:15 Guide for Illegal Aliens
• 16:16 Trump Tittle Tattle
• 17:27 World Series of Poker Tips
• 20:04 May Madness vs March Madness
• 21:41 Soccer's Timekeeping Problem

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Number 12,. Do not approach me in the bathroom with a bad beat story. And actually, number 13, on second thought, do not approach me in the bathroom period. Norman Chad, norman Chad. Welcome to Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. I am Norman Chad, coming up today on the program a guide to the richest people in the world, a guide to the World Series of Poker and a guide for illegal aliens arriving into America.

Speaker 1: 0:42

Bienvenidos Gambling Mad. As always, brought to you by Fritos picked fresh off of Central California trees each morning and delivered directly to your local retailer each afternoon, and by the refreshing taste of Fresca, fritos and Fresca. It's a meal. For the 65th consecutive year, I failed to make the Forbes list of the world's 100 richest people. Among the world's 25 richest, 18 live in the United States and of those 18, at least one owns a Tesla. The world's 25 richest range in age from 40 to 94. This means if you are a 20-something or 30-something, you can set a goal of making that top 25 by the time you turn 40. On the other end of the life cycle, if you are, say, even 80 years old, there's still hope.

Speaker 1: 1:43

Okay, let's run down the top five. Actually, before we run down the top five. First, I want to acknowledge the man finishing just outside of the top five, at number six the likable McMuffin-eating Warren Buffett Net worth $154 billion. Oldest man on the list, at 94 years of age. Give or take a transaction or two and he just announced he will be retiring at the end of this year. He probably will get bored in retirement and either open a lemonade stand or start a podcast. All right, let's do our top five.

Speaker 1: 2:22

At number five Bernard Arnault, the only non-American in the top five net worth $178 billion. The French-born Arnault is founder and CEO of LVMH, the world's largest luxury goods company. Items like Louis Vuitton handbags, moet, champagne, tiffany rings, sephora beauty items. I personally have never bought an LVMH product. I haven't ever even spoken to anyone who has purchased an LVMH product. If you think I'm kidding, come with me to the racetrack and look at the people surrounding me in the grandstand. Come with me to the racetrack and look at the people surrounding me in the grandstand.

Speaker 1: 3:06

At number four Larry Ellison net worth $192 billion. Co-founded the software company Oracle and owns a Hawaiian island. He owns a Hawaiian island, lanai. That is a lot of beach real estate, and beach property always increases in value. Smart fellow, he is exactly 14 years older than me to the day, and his net worth is exactly 96,000 times more than me to the penny. We do not hang out in the same circles.

Speaker 1: 3:42

At number three, jeff Bezos net worth $215 billion. Founder of Amazon and also current owner of the Washington Post. He understands e-commerce. I don't think he understands newspapers. His hobbies include space travel, ocean exploration, dog sledding and bending his knee to Donald Trump. At number two, mark Zuckerberg net worth $216 billion.

Speaker 1: 4:16

The face of Facebook, the chairman of Meta, pretty much the most unpopular billionaire and the most unpopular 40-year-old in America. His hobbies include mixed martial arts, playing the guitar, surfing and bending his knee to Donald Trump. And finally really no anticipation here, no mystery about it all. At number one, my man, elon Musk net worth $344 billion, 342 billion, 344 billion he's up to $349 billion today. Stuff just in the couches. He's just finding money everywhere. He remains a clear and present danger. You cannot spell megalomaniac without Eli. See, you can't spell it without Eli. I told you he actually is in a category all his own. He is an Elonomaniac. His hobbies include space travel, video games, destroying America, becoming the world's most powerful person and impregnating 50 women in 50 states in 50 years. 50 women in 50 states in 50 years. That's your top five world's richest folks All right from the world's richest people to the world's oldest person.

Speaker 1: 5:36

Ethel Catterham, who lives in a nursing home in Southeast England, is approaching her 116th birthday. She loves classical music and she loves gardening, an overlooked factor in her longevity. In 1933, she married a man named Norman Major Norman Caterham of the British Army. Like most Normans, he was a good husband. They were married 43 years until his death in 1976. Was a good husband. They were married 43 years until his death in 1976. She's now outlived him by 49 years.

Speaker 1: 6:11

Here are Ethel's seven secrets to living a long life. Number one never argue with anyone. Shit, I'm in trouble, okay. Number two listen. Number three do what you like. Number four take everything in stride, highs and lows. Number five say yes to every opportunity, because you never know what it will lead to. Number six have a positive attitude. And number seven everything in moderation. I am sure Ethel Catterham is right about all of this and as I look over those seven secrets to living a long life, it appears obvious to me I should have been dead 40 years ago. By the way, the oldest living person officially ever was Jeanne-Louise Calment of France, 122 years and 164 days old before her passing in 1997.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Shaquille O'Neal is best known these days for his NBA on TNT studio role. He just added a part-time job to that Sacramento State University. Sacramento State has named Shaq as general manager of its men's basketball program Relatively new college position, as these Division I schools navigate and deal with athletes who are seeking money for name, image and likeness. Sacramento State has never made the NCAA tournament. They're hiring a big name here who will only be on campus sparingly. But Shaq is taking this position without pay. He'll be joining his son, senior forward, shakir O'Neill, who just transferred from Florida A&M. Now I don't much like Shaq's chances of turning around Sacramento State's hoops program, but I wanted to take a moment to celebrate and marvel at his outsized presence on the American cultural and business landscape. It is rather incredible.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Shaq Shaquille O'Neal has appeared in commercials for American Express, buick, Carnival Cruises, epson, frosted Flakes, general Insurance, gold Bond, google, hulu, icy Hot, jcpenney, nestle, crunch, novex, Biotech, papa John's, pepsi, reebok, ring Tonka, vitamin Water and Wynn Sports Betting. Then there's his business empire. His business empire, according to the Los Angeles Times, includes 155 five-guys restaurants. Includes 155 five-guys restaurants, 40 24-hour fitness gyms, 20 big chicken outlets, seven Antien's Antien Antien I've never been to an Antien Antien. Don't look to us. They sell pretzels, 17 pretzel stands and nine Papa John's pizzerias, plus 150 car washes. Do people still wash their cars? I just get rid of them at the end of the month and get another one. Shaq is also the global spokesperson for Krispy Kreme. Who doesn't like a good Krispy Kreme? Who doesn't like a good Krispy Kreme?

Speaker 1: 9:37

At this moment, though, I'd like to make an unpaid endorsement for the Randy's Donuts franchise, randy's Donuts in Los Angeles. Particularly, I want to recommend the simplest of donuts the glazed, the glazed rays. Randy's glazed donuts have started romances and ended wars since the 1950s. When I first started buying them about 15 years ago, they were only 65 cents a donut. They are now $2.10 per donut, which, believe it or not, still makes them an incredible bargain in the inflationary donut business. It's just a donut. How do they charge four or five dollars for that? I don't care what type of stuff they're putting on top of it. Same thing with bagels. It's a bagel, it's got a hole in it. You save money on the flour. It's time for D-Gen's gonna D-Gen, d-gen's gonna D-Gen case number one Five Iowa State football staff members have been disciplined by the NCAA for making online bets on pro and college sports, including men's and women's basketball games, involving Iowa State.

Speaker 1: 10:45

The five acknowledged they knowingly violated NCAA sports wagering bylaws. There will be no criminal charges, but they effectively were all given a one-year ban from working at any NCAA school. The online bets were made between 2021 and 2023. Was this just an occasional habit? No, the five staff members combined for more than 6,200 online bets totaling more than $100,000. The high roller of the group was Jace Hecox, football graduate assistant and son of Iowa State defensive coordinator John Hecox. The younger Hecox placed 787 bets for about $55,400. His average wager there was about $70. You know I doubt he was a winner, so I'd like to offer an unpaid endorsement right now for Gambling Mad. Always remember when you listen to us at Gambling Mad, you will lose less. You will lose less Degens gonna degen. Case number two Carnival Cruises' slogan is fun for all, all for fun.

Speaker 1: 12:04

They might want to change that to eat, drink and be wary of brawls. As a seven-day Western Caribbean cruise was disembarking at the terminal in Galveston. Caribbean cruise was disembarking at the terminal in Galveston, texas, a fight broke out Well, several fights Near the baggage claim area. Several passengers were chasing another passenger and when they tackled him to the ground they started to punch and kick him. Meanwhile, nearby, other passengers were brawling with other passengers. Other passengers were brawling with other passengers. I'm hoping these altercations concerned the buffet line rather than gambling debts. All in all, carnival put 24 passengers on its do not sale list, bingo Banned and barred, just like that. Hey, there's always Royal Caribbean. Try the noodle bar.

Speaker 1: 12:58

You know, I've actually to be honest with you, and my parents used to go on cruises all the time after they retired. I have never understood the attraction of cruises. You're around a boatload of people you would never be around otherwise. You are captive because you can't go anywhere. You're in the same area with them for a week or two weeks. The food is not exactly Michelin starred and the gambling is not optimal. I mean, why would they have loose slot machines when there's nowhere else for you to go, but keep playing those same slot machines. You're bound to lose. I'm not with the cruise ship. Chamber of commerce All right, moving along.

Speaker 1: 13:41

Inscribed on the Statue of Liberty are these famous words Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these the homeless tempest host to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door. Those words represent hope and freedom. As an objective observer, it sounds to me like America is rolling out the welcome mat for the rest of the world.

Speaker 1: 14:14

Now, realistically, I understand that the US cannot accommodate every single person who wants to pitch a tent in New Jersey or New Mexico. So these days, immigration, legal or otherwise, is no longer sexy. Indeed, the southern border is a massive issue and illegal aliens don't have a lot of political or public support at the moment. But I feel for these people. Many of them are escaping inhumane conditions, many of them are dreaming of the opportunity that America offers, and if you're willing to make that difficult journey over land or by sea, I'd say a lot of them actually want to be here, even more than some of us want to be here. So I respect the grit, the fortitude, the determination and, at the risk of being detained by the current administration sometime in the next week, I want to help these arriving visitors. By the way, they're coming from all over the world. Here is Gambling Mad's five-step guide to US immigration for arriving illegal aliens.

Speaker 1: 15:20

One cross the border safely. 1. Cross the border safely. 2. Go to 7-Eleven and get a cherry slurpee. 3. Find the nearest voter registration office to register to vote. 4. Contact a regional social security office to find out how to acquire a social security number. And 5. Call home to let them know you got to America safely.

Speaker 1: 15:51

Next week, god willing, I'm going to offer five advanced tips for incoming illegal aliens. Once you are settled in, let's not even wait till last week. I'm not going to give them all five right now, but let me give you a sneak preview of what's coming up next week. You got to remember that the cable guy usually doesn't come during that four-hour window that they specify, so plan accordingly. Time for Trump.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Tittle, tattle All the latest news about the man who once claimed to have won the 1999 championship at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, although the course did not open until 2000. You're fired. Cue the music. We are in mid-season form. President Trump says he plans to rebuild and reopen Alcatraz, the what's famed maximum security federal prison. The president says the new Alcatraz will house the what's famed Maximum Security Federal Prison. The president says the new Alcatraz will house the country's quote-unquote most ruthless and violent offenders. Apparently, they anticipate running out of room at the White House. And that is Trump Tittle Tattle. For this week we are cutting back on the volume of items because, frankly, we do not want to upset the president.

Speaker 1: 17:07

The World Series of Poker, a unique gathering of unwashed masses and massive bankrolls, begins its seven-week festival on May 27th at Horseshoe and Paris casinos in Las Vegas. I will be on the Las Vegas Strip for most of that time shaking hands. If I don't get to you, it's not necessarily because I didn't want to, but frankly, chances are I didn't want to. As a public service to the poker players of America, let me offer the following set of tips when you are at the World Series of Poker. Number one that really good parking space that you miraculously see in the distance in the parking garage always turns out not to be a parking space. Two first timers, plan your bathroom trips accordingly. Three if you want to make sure you can survive past level one of an event, don't start playing until level two. Four if you make it to day two of an event, a shower and change of clothes is not required, but certainly recommended.

Speaker 1: 18:20

Number five when you lose a pot, say nothing. When you lose a pot, say nothing. When you win a pot, say nothing. When you raise a pot, say raise. Number six if you run into Alan Kessler on a 15-minute break and he wants to talk structure, you'll have no idea where the 15 minutes went. Number seven if you run into Mike Matisseau on a 15-minute break and he wants to tell you why he belongs in the Poker Hall of Fame, you'll have no idea where the 15 minutes went. Number eight if you run to the bathroom on a 15-minute break, you will still need 20 minutes. Nine bring lots of cash. Casino prices are so high these days they even charge you to walk through the property. Number 10, if your husband or wife calls to wish you good luck just before an event but also mentions that the roofer says your house needs a new roof that's going to cost $17,000, withdraw from the event immediately. Number 11. To avoid secondhand smoke while walking through the horseshoe, it is best to parachute directly into the poker room. Number 12. Do not approach me in the bathroom with a bad beat story. And actually, number 13 on second thought. Do not approach me in the bathroom period. World Series of Poker coming up. I'll see you there.

Speaker 1: 19:51

Before we wrap up, I'm going to say this one time, and one time only I'll take May Madness over March Madness. I'll take May Madness over March Madness. March Madness is the NCAA men's basketball tournament where phantom student athletes, thinly disguised professional athletes, really run around with school logos on their jersey, pretending to represent universities that they sort of attend without ever opening up a book. May Madness is the NBA playoffs actual professional athletes playing the game at its highest level, with otherworldly shooting and bruising defense. March Madness I honestly cannot even remember who just won the NCAA title, and it was just last month. I sure hope it wasn't Duke. May Madness in the Western Conference semifinals this week alone. We have Steph and Ant and SGA and the Joker. March Madness is about coaches, and I've seen enough of John Calipari and Rick Pitino. May Madness is about the players, and I can never see enough of Steph Curry and Nikola Jokic. On the other hand, I will say this If they let LeBron, who went straight from high school to the NBA, if they let him enroll in college now and play with, say, the University of Akron, the University of Akron Zips for four years, that would be kind of cool for four years. That would be kind of cool. That will do it for another edition of Gambling Mad with Norman Chad. Hope to see you again next time and remember, if you're going to roll the dice, make sure they are loaded.

Speaker 1: 21:41

I've been trying to love soccer my whole life.

Speaker 1: 21:44

It's the world's game, but soccer refuses to move into the modern era.

Speaker 1: 21:50

All the other team sports, from football to basketball, to hockey, to rugby, to lacrosse, to water polo, have a clock and you know when the game is over.

Speaker 1: 22:00

Soccer has a clock too, but at the end of either half the referee adds on injury time or extra time at his discretion. Extra time is mysterious. Only the election of the Pope is more mysterious. Hey, if you're going to add the time, at least tell the players and the fans exactly how much time. Nope, only the referee knows. Maybe the referee is double parked that day and wants to get out of there sooner. Maybe the referee bet on the team that's losing and wants to give them more time to catch up. It is insane and somewhat unacceptable that no one on the field or in the stands knows when the final whistle is going to blow. I hate that basketball has tenths of a second, but I hate it more that soccer has no seconds for us to see. Give me a precise clock, soccer, or I'll start watching pickleball and darts and God save us all even cornhole, which definitely will make me go gambling mad.

Speaker 2: 23:01

Gambling Mad with Norman Chad is written by Norman Chad, and ghost, written by Norman Chad. Executives written by Norman Chad. Executive producers are John Scheinberg and Rick Bariodil. Produced by Norman Chad and Rick Bariodil. Our associate producers are Bree Khoury and Asher Freidberg. And edited by Asher Freidberg, with studio facilities at 360 Pod Studios, beverly Hills.