E08“A Deathbed Confession That Challenges Believers: Rethinking Faith”

In this episode of Spiritual Hot Sauce, we sit with a quiet but urgent deathbed confession: what did it mean to follow Jesus, and did we mistake church habit for true discipleship? Through a candid testimony, reflective perspective from Chris Jones, and practical questions, we explore how church routines can comfort yet leave souls untransformed. This is not blame — it’s an invitation to honest self‑examination and renewed commitment to spiritual formation.

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Episode 8 of “Spiritual Hot Sauce” by Chris Jones is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.  
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:07

Welcome. I'm Chris Jones. This is where believers and skeptics alike are invited to embark on a journey of faith, philosophy, and life from a different perspective. Whether we are joined by an insightful guest or we just jump into the deep end, this exploration promises to challenge us all. Are we getting it right? This is Spiritual Hot Sauce. I occasionally read last words, and I don't mean famous last words or people that's done extraordinary things, their last words or the macabre the weird. That's not what I'm talking about. I liked reading and hearing people's last words that are just normal after they've lived a normal life. When they're on their deathbed, surrounded by their family, their loved ones. And from the perspective after living their life and all of the wisdom they've gained of what's important in this world, what's not important, the pitfalls you got to look out for, but how to have a better, more fulfilling life. So when you arrive at that moment in your journey, you're surrounded by peace and comfort, not regret. But I came across one story, and I'm going to call her sister Christian. It was her last words, and it shocked and stunned her family as it did me. I mean, I found it very challenging. But I'm going to call her sister Christian. She had spent her whole life going to church as an adult. Every time the doors was open, she was there. If there was anything extra going on, you know, she would be there. She supported, she did her part. She was the persona of a church-going believer. And on her deathbed, surrounded by her children, who had always known her as a church-going person, Sister Christian, she confessed to them she regretted all of the time, energy, and effort she had put into the church. She wished she had that time back so she could spend it doing other things that brought her joy. This is really challenging if you're a believer when you hear this. And I think when we hear this, we think this is an amazing outlier. This is probably a unique unicorn. There's no others like that. But I think the truth is it probably happens more than what we realize. We just don't talk about it. And this is hard to hear because in this moment on your deathbed, this is why you've been running your race. This is, as Paul says, with I've I've ran my race and now I am comfortable. I am ready to move on. I have no regrets. I am at peace with my life. I know I have served my purpose. So when you feel like or think that you've done everything you can, that every time the church doors are open, you're there, you're a part of that, that what you're supposed to have on your deathbed is comfort, peace, feeling like you've ran your race and feeling good, about ready to move on. There should be a little bit of joy attached in this as well. But she had none of that. It was empty. And I think that's why she made that statement she did. It hadn't gained her anything. And I get it. Some of us are immediately going to think, well, it's because she was in the wrong religion. She had the wrong denomination. It was and I don't think so. I mean, I I don't objectively know, but I believe I do. And I don't think it had to do with what religion she was in. I think it had to do with religion. What I mean is I think in our culture, we've developed this idea that the church is the house of God. It's the destination, it's the place you go to learn about God, to be with God, to worship God, to please God. It's our path, it's the journey itself. And we kind of put it in a checkbox. If you think about it, we go to the bank and then we go to the gym and then we go to the grocery store. I mean, we we do these things. We check the box, and on Sunday we go to the church. But when you go to the grocery store, when you leave, you have a basket full of groceries. When you go to the gym over time, you have better health. If you go to the school over time, you now have an education. But Sister Christian has spent a lifetime making the church the destination, but her basket was empty. And I think it comes from the idea that the church is the house of God and it is the destination. I think we spend so much time going to church and misunderstanding it, seeing it as the destination, we start learning about our denomination. We start learning about our organized religion. We start learning about that community and how they believe about God. And we perceive that, that religion. And I said, I think it was in episode one where I talked about a good religion should serve you, have a better life, tools. But in this religion, we spend all of our time and seeing it as our relationship with God. We see us as being at the church, as us being with God and us fulfilling our part. I'm not speaking against the church. That's not what I'm doing. What I'm doing is pointing out a flaw in how we perceive the church and how we approach it and what we use it for. See, I think church in the way it's meant to be is community. It's the place you're supposed to go to be encouraged, to be comforted, where you are inspired by those around you, where you hear something inspirational. The early church doesn't look like the church we have now. The early church, where Paul's talking to Timothy, it sounds like a very assertive group or they're interacting with one another and they're all kind of pushing and encouraging and helping each other to continue their faith. And Paul tells Timothy, basically, just keep them between the lines. Don't let them get real weird. Make sure they're on point. And above all, make sure they're staying to the commandment of Christ. Make sure they are working towards becoming a disciple of Christ. See, I don't think Jesus came to start a religion. I think Jesus came to make disciples. I don't have a problem with religion. I don't think he does either, but I think the church is there to encourage us to keep in our path, in our journey, and becoming a disciple of Christ, taking his commandment of love into our cardiac, our center, our essence, how we choose. Remember, the center of our compass and becoming like him through growth, through our path, through our journey. The last thing Jesus told his disciples before he left was go and make other disciples. I mean, that is his commandment from John 13, 34 and 35. This is my commandment, that you love one another, that you love one another as I have loved you. By this the world will know you're my disciple, not a believer, a disciple. Now, I get that we sometimes convolute disciple and believer and make them one and the same, but they are absolutely not. See, a believer believes, is a worshiper of, a disciple follows and becomes. There's a place in the Bible where Jesus says, To the believers, if you continue in my word, then you are my disciple, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. See, I think that is our destination. That is our race, is becoming a disciple of Christ through journey. The church is there to encourage us to keep going and moving towards this discipleship process. But it's us taking the commandment of Christ, of love, of how he loved, into our center, our essence, our cardiac, like we talk about with the compass, and how we choose in life, it makes us become different. We become more Christ-like in his in discipleship. I think when we choose to daily put down our phones, put down our distractions, and I mean, I'm in religion, we are taught to learn more about our denomination, our indoctrination. We listen to commentary and preaching and teaching. But I think in this process, and nothing against those, I'm not speaking against those, but I think in this process, it's not community. Community is for the encouragement. This path of discipleship is a marathon. It's our race. And it's a solo flight. We do this part alone. It is community that encourages us to keep going, but it is our individual choice of how we choose to move forward. That is our race. And we spend time alone with ourselves in prayer, asking that our hearts be changed and be more like Christ, that we take and we we always are taught to read our Bible, but there's nothing in the Bible about reading the Bible. It's about studying and meditating on it. That's it. I mean, you can take a scripture, a small scripture, like the commandment of Christ, and read it for 15, 20 minutes. Just slow down and study on it, absorb it, read into it. What does it mean? What look at the original language if you want? I mean, all the different ways you could understand this and what it means to you in your life and how you need to apply that. And then meditate on that. Just really close your eyes and absorb that. Take that into your center, your essence, that it's going to change your path. It's going to change who you are. Meditate on. If you did that for 15, 20 minutes a day, how you start your day every day, and then you try to really apply that in your life through the day. Is that not taking the necessary steps every day to run your race and to grow and to mature in this discipleship? See, I think that's where we get confused. We go to the church and it's about community. And it feels good. It's inspirational. It's encouraging. And that's, I think that's what happened to Sister Christian. If you think of a marathon race, you have these tables set along the way. And there's people there that encourage you to run your race. And they hand you, I guess, these cups of water or Gatorade, so you can stay hydrated. But they encourage you to keep going, keep going, keep going. But I think what Sister Christian was doing, she was on her starting line, and she would run to the table of encouragement. She would get her encouragement in her religion and in her community in the church because she was taught that is the destination. But it's just the table of encouragement. And then she would run back to her starting line. Next Sunday, she would run to the table of encouragement again. And then she would run back to her starting line. You build a lifetime of that, that explains why you get to the end and you don't have anything. Versus a person that understands it's just a table of encouragement. It's not the destination. Our path is a solo flight. It is for us to run. And as we daily put in the steps, as we daily run our race as a marathon, that over time we will get to where we need to get to. And then we will see manifested in us the fulfillment of what should be there. And that's discipleship. Guys, we got to run our race of our faith of whatever yours is. You can't see how somebody else's race is different than yours. No, you have to do it like me because this is my race. We all have different paths. We all have a different journey. And so my race isn't going to look like yours, and yours isn't going to look like mine. I have to run my race and you have to run your race. We are told to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Well, that means take it seriously. It's not a communal thing. This is a solo flight. Don't tell anybody else they need to be like you and don't try to be like anybody else. We all have our own race. We all have to individually choose to put our steps in daily and to move towards discipleship. And that will change in the long term our direction. It recalibrates our compass. So we're running on the right path. Go look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: am I running the race or am I just hanging out at the table of encouragement? Or am I going to end up being like Sister Christian? Or am I moving towards my faith of what I should be doing? Am I growing and maturing in this of who I am? Whatever your race is, go run it. Thanks for joining me here on Spiritual Hot Sauce. I'd love to hear from you. So please reach out with questions, comments, andor concerns. And don't forget to like, subscribe, and review us. You can follow us on Facebook for updates and information. And if you enjoy the flavor of the sauce, then please share with others. I would appreciate that. We'll see you next time.