The Last Ordinary Night: Kathryn Flett on Losing Her Son Jackson S6 E3

Kathryn Flett is one of Britain's best known journalists, critics and memoirists. 

In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Kathryn discusses the unimaginable loss of her son Jackson and the long, complex journey through grief that followed. With extraordinary openness, she explores the many different shades of grief experienced by everyone involved, why she initially believed the police officer at her door was "talking nonsense", and why real life bore little resemblance to television, right down to there being just one police officer delivering the devastating news.

She speaks candidly about the level of demonstrative love she found herself needing, the well-meaning but often "wrong" ways people responded, and the painful "reconfiguration of the address book" as friendships and relationships changed forever.

She also recounts the emotional impact of the inquest, the unexpected shock that followed, and the slow, tentative process of re-entering the world through what she describes as "baby steps". It is an honest, compassionate and ultimately hopeful conversation about surviving the unsurvivable, finding a way forward, and learning to live alongside grief rather than trying to outrun it.

Kathryn reflects on the role of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy in helping her process trauma, why she came to see blame as an unhelpful emotion, and the complicated aftermath that follows a sudden loss. 

A former editor of Arena magazine and a long-time columnist for The Observer, The Guardian and other national publications, she has built a reputation for combining razor-sharp wit with remarkable emotional honesty. She is currently a Daily Mail's TV critic.

Key points of the episode:

• The tragic story of how she lost her son.
• The different shades of grief experienced by all concerned.
• Why, when the police came, she did not immediately realise the seriousness of the situation.
• How she felt the policeman was "talking nonsense"
• Her treatment of EMDR- "Eye Movement Desensitiving (and) Reprocessing. 
• Why there was only one police officer at the door (unlike on TV)
• Why blame she felt was an unhelpful emotion.
• The complicated aftermath.
• The level of demonstrative love that she needed.
• The "Wrong" ways people responded.
• The "reconfiguration of the address book."
• The inquest. And then the next shock.
• The re-entering the world. Baby Steps 

Check out her TV in the Daily Mail or ...

kathrynflett.substack.com