The Psychology Behind Luxury Wedding Clients: Insights from Elizabeth Solaru

Ever wondered what separates truly luxury weddings from those that simply cost a lot? Elizabeth Solaru, multi-award winning luxury business consultant and former cake artist to Queen Elizabeth, pulls back the curtain on the exclusive world of high-net-worth clientele.

Elizabeth's remarkable journey from microbiologist to headhunter to luxury entrepreneur provides the perfect backdrop for her revolutionary insights. She reveals that luxury isn't defined by budget alone, but by understanding the psychology behind different types of wealthy clients. "You could have King Charles and Ozzy Osbourne with identical budgets," Elizabeth explains, "but their weddings would require completely different approaches because their psychological profiles as luxury clients differ dramatically."

For wedding professionals looking to break into this exclusive market, Elizabeth offers tactical strategies that go beyond the obvious. Rather than focusing on luxury publications or social media, she suggests identifying gatekeepers like personal assistants who control access to wealthy individuals. Her approach to Instagram is equally surprising – look for private accounts under pseudonyms and notice who major luxury brands are responding to in comments.

The mindset shift required for luxury positioning proves just as important as marketing tactics. Wedding professionals must recognize what type of luxury business founder they are (artisan, visionary, etc.) and build complementary partnerships accordingly. When showcasing work online, Elizabeth advocates quality over quantity: "Don't show 20 products when three incredible products will do the job." Your website should guide visitors like a Sherpa, creating curiosity through strategic organization and authentic storytelling.

Website: www.elizabethsolaru.com

Chapters

• 0:50 Welcome to Wedding Empires
• 2:37 From Microbiologist to Luxury Consultant
• 8:12 Defining Luxury in Weddings
• 11:12 Finding High-Net-Worth Clients
• 20:55 The Luxury Mindset & Business Positioning
• 27:25 Online Strategies for Luxury Marketing
• 28:48 First Steps for Breaking into Luxury

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:27

Hello and welcome back to Wedding Empires. I'm your host, jack Bowie. It's my absolute pleasure today to welcome to the podcast Elizabeth Sularu. Elizabeth, thank you for joining us.

Speaker 2: 0:40

Thank you, I've been really excited to be here.

Speaker 1: 0:43

And I hear it's looking to be a lovely day in London.

Speaker 2: 0:48

We've got sun, and that's absolutely it.

Speaker 1: 0:52

Awesome, awesome. Now, the reason that we've invited you into the podcast is because you really know how to break into the luxury market and that's something that a lot of us, you know, might be just dipping our toes into becoming a wedding planner, but there's certainly a lot of wedding planners out there that would like to make that transition from from you know, the the mainstream, I guess we'll call it into that sort of luxury set. So, talking about your background, you're a multi-award winning luxury business consultant. You're a bestselling author, globally recognized cake artist and as a CEO and founder of Diversity in Luxury Awards, you're also now a leading voice in luxury and you help brands and professionals navigate the exclusive world of high net worth clientele. You've got a book called the Luxpreneur.

Speaker 1: 1:37

I love that how to Start and Build a Successful Luxury Brand and it's been hailed as the ultimate blueprint for those who are looking to succeed in the luxury space so I shouldn't have just said wedding planners anyone who's trying to transition into that luxury space. So today we're going to go through, I guess, the first steps in positioning yourself how to attract those kinds of clients, the secrets to pitching, your pricing, your branding and all of that. So let's dive in and learn from one of the experts on the matter. But I think, Elizabeth, let's start off with your personal journey. Can you share kind of? You know, I heard you used to be a microbiologist. How did you get from that into doing what you do now? That's crazy.

Speaker 2: 2:17

Right, okay. So yes, went to university, did my degree, did my master's in medical microbiology and parasitology and I loved microbiology. I loved. My aim was actually to be a professor in microbiology. That was my goal and I started working for the National Health Service in this country. I was working in a diagnostic lab, so I was literally diagnosing diseases and illnesses and that sort of thing and I enjoyed it.

Speaker 2: 2:48

But I remember after about 13 years, 15 years working for the NHS, I kind of thought to myself there's got to be more to life than being a lab rat and I just made the decision. There were a number of things led up to it, but I made the decision to quit and I had no other job to go to. So I remember quitting on a Monday and I was walking on a Thursday. I was walking past the lab phone and it rang and I picked up and somebody said would you like to work for us as a locum? So that was been a temp. So I said yes, obviously because I had no other job to go to. And then I thought to myself while I was doing that, because I had this vague idea of doing something in business why don't I go off and do an MBA, because in my mind I thought, oh, the more degrees you had. So I went off, did an MBA and then I quickly realized, oh, the MBA is not going to get me what I wanted to do, which I still didn't know what I wanted to do.

Speaker 2: 3:45

But eventually I learned how to network. And then I found myself being tapped on the shoulder and somebody said to me would you like to go and work for me as a headhunter? He was setting up a company and I quickly had to dive into that world, had to learn about high-end candidates. I was recruiting finance directors and CEOs and chairmen and I didn't know I mean, I'd never run a lemonade stand and these people were running multi-million pound businesses. But I didn't know, I mean, I'd never run a lemonade stand and these people were running multi-million pound businesses. But I quickly learned. I learned how to stand out. I learned how to network.

Speaker 2: 4:20

Thankfully, blogs were, were, were being a thing. In those days, early 2000s or something like that. Blogs were being a thing. So I learned how to find CEOs via blogs and then I was networking like mad. And then 2008,. We know what happened.

Speaker 2: 4:38

The markets fell out and I thought, oh my God, I need to do something. And then it occurred to me that this could be a time to do what I'd always wanted to do as a child, which is bake cakes and have a cake shop. But because I come from an immigrant background where education was everything, I dare not say that to my parents because to them that is like family disgrace. So anyway, I then decided okay, I'll set up my cake company. But I had a problem how do I find clients? But then I remember thinking okay, I will do what I'd been trained to do as a headhunter, and that is cold calling.

Speaker 2: 5:18

Because as a headhunter I had to make a hundred cold calls a week to CEO offices and find a way to get into the CEO diary. So that's what I started doing. I took the yellow pages and I started calling, calling, calling. And of course all the wedding planners told me to go away. We don't know you, we already have cake makers.

Speaker 2: 5:40

And eventually, after 120 calls, I finally got through to a particular office. I didn't know at the time. She was the first proper wedding planner in the UK and she happened to be the first cousin to the late Queen Elizabeth. And I got through to the office and the young lady at the other end said, do you make cupcakes? And remember this was like 2000 and something. And I was like, of course we make cupcakes. I will be in your area the next three days. Can I bring some samples? So I did that.

Speaker 2: 6:15

So I took the samples and I was on my way back home on the bus when I got a call saying Lady Elizabeth would like to see you. And I'm like, oh my God, who's Lady Elizabeth? And I went back and she met me. She said beautiful cakes, love them, love the taste, love the appearance, love everything. And she gave me a job on the spot. So she gave me an order, oh my God.

Speaker 2: 6:42

And of course I made a rookie mistake I undercharged. I didn't, I don't even think I charged for delivery, I was just so happy to get this order. And the rest, they say, is history. That order opened a number of doors because after the party she did something which truly, truly, truly, I'll never forget. She wrote me a note, a handwritten note, saying because apparently they use three cakes for that particular I mean three cake makers for that particular party, and she said your cakes were the best tasting. Thank you so much said your cakes were the best tasting. Thank you so much. And she said you have my permission to use this letter in all your marketing and that really helped my business. So yeah, that's my my story.

Speaker 1: 7:25

It's unbelievable. That is not what I was expecting you to say. You know I just one of my first clients was the queen of England. Yeah, cool, okay, no pressure right, just like diving into luxury at the highest possible end. So I guess, I guess I want to kind of know how would you define luxury when it comes to the wedding industry specifically?

Speaker 2: 7:49

Now that is a fantastic question and I tell you why because many people define luxury by budget. They're defined by budget. So if you're spending over six figures, 70 figures, that's a luxury wedding. That is right, but not completely right. In a way, just because you've spent a lot of money doesn't mean it's a luxury wedding. I define a luxury wedding. Spent a lot of money doesn't mean it's a luxury wedding.

Speaker 2: 8:16

I define a luxury wedding by the client and I've broken it down based on my clients that I've looked after over the years. There's been thousands of them. I sat down during the pandemic. I looked at all the emails and all my client list and then I realized there are eight different types of luxury client. And, yes, you can define a wedding based on budget, but you need to define a luxury wedding based on psychology. So, based on psychology, I will give you two examples.

Speaker 2: 8:46

So and I use this a bit in my when I do keynotes you have somebody like the King of England and you have somebody like Ozzy Osbourne, according to demographics. Are they the same? They're definitely the same. You'd be surprised they have so many similarities. So they were born in the same year, they're both white male, they both live in castles, they've both been married and divorced twice and they are roughly. They are the same age and, by the way, they are good friends. So if they both give you the same budget, say a million pounds, as a wedding planner, would you do their weddings the same?

Speaker 2: 9:29

Well, no, exactly, probably not. But the thing is, though, many people haven't been able to define why not, and that's the psychology, and I know you will take a brief and etc. Etc. Etc. But would you use the same vendors? Would you use the same products? Would you use? So that, to me, is around the psychology, and this is the difference between yes, you have a big budget, but not all clients are the same. So when people talk about defining your ideal client type, they miss out a lot when it comes to the psychology of a luxury client.

Speaker 1: 10:10

Wow, okay, but then also, I guess you could have something very intimate. That's luxury, and I don't know why this has come to mind. Was it a successful marriage? But I think if Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, they had their own island, didn't they? I don't know how many people went, but in my mind it's just like small with their dogs. But that would be luxury. But again, very, very a different type of wedding, sure. So what distinguishes a luxury client from a standard client? I suppose I suppose we've talked about that. I guess my next question is kind of like how do you find them? Where are these people hanging?

Speaker 2: 10:52

out? I love this question because, again, I address all this in my book. So, depending on the type, you need to find where they hang out. And because that's the thing with a lot of vendors in the wedding industry, everyone automatically comes to planners, but there are only so many luxury weddings that a particular planner can do, so you can't then say, oh, you know, yes, I will go to a planner. So, yes, you will go to a planner, but depending on the different type of luxury client, you need to know where they hang out. So some of them could hang out online. I've often spoken about that. Some of them could hang out private members clubs. Some of them could hang out in certain business conferences. Some of them it could be a tennis club, it could be a country club.

Speaker 2: 11:47

You need to go to where your particular type of client, where they go to. A lot of people talk about publications, for example. Maybe they read Vogue, maybe they read certain magazines, and that is true. But you need to ask yourself are they going to be reading Vogue? Maybe they read certain magazines, and that is true, but you need to ask yourself are they going to be reading Vogue to find a vendor or a wedding planner or the type of person who would read Vogue. Because when you look at Vogue, unless it's an editorial, unless it's an editorial, a lot of the supplier vendors are going to be on the back pages very tiny, paid for, obviously. So would a typical luxury client look at that?

Speaker 2: 12:31

So when I coach my clients, we do two things. We are building the word of mouth. At the same time, we are getting you out there to network in the right places. So even things like going to your local chamber of commerce, for example and many people don't even know there's a chamber of every region. Every country has a chamber of commerce. But what I did was that I didn't. In my local area there was nothing for businesses when I was starting out. So I went to, like the poshest area of London and I talked my way into joining their business, their business, their chamber of commerce. So those are things you need to do. You know even, for example, I remember getting a client via a security guy. A security guy. So people are chatty, they like to chat. So he was a security guy. Private members club. We got chatting and by the time he saw my face three, four times, he was telling me about everybody. So that's what you need to do.

Speaker 2: 13:39

You need to look for gatekeepers, because that's as important as going to the main person, because when I was a headhunter, the people I needed to get past were gatekeepers. So, for example, a CEO would have three different PAs One would be handling the diary, one handles the travel and one handles the actual business business. Of all three PAs, the most important PA is the diary person, because whoever's in charge of his diary is the one who has the keys to the kingdom and that's the PA you need to network with. So a lot of my colleagues when I was a headhunter, they would send presents to the CEO. I would send presents to the CEO, but I'll send an even better one to the diary PA and that way they remember you, it would remember you.

Speaker 2: 14:39

I'm utilizing the same principles. Everyone you try to network with you need to know the right gatekeeper for them. So, for example, I used Ozzy Osbourne and King Charles. So King Charles, he literally has several layers of gatekeepers, because his luxury client type is what I call comfort first and safety first. We know that when he travels, he comes with his own pillows, he comes with his own toilet seats. He travels like that. We know that Ozzy Osbourne. He does outlandish things, he does outrageous things. For him, that would be his business manager, it could even be his stylist. For him, that would be his business manager, it could even be his stylist. So you need to know the right gatekeeper for the right client that you are targeting.

Speaker 2: 15:29

And the reason it's nice to know the psychology of these clients is that in a family, in a high-end family, you can have three or four different psychological types. So, for example, I read about a couple of wedding planners. They're being sued by a client who wasn't happy with the way they planned, or whatever, the wedding. And when I read the court documents it was so clear to me that the bride was a particular luxury client type. She was an esthete, so she's all about order and organization. Her mother was simply the best, so she just wanted to spend the most money to get the best thing. And their dad, the one who actually makes the money, he was a comfort first. So the planners were getting conflicted things from all three of them. But if you know the exact type of people that they are, you're able to adjust accordingly. And also, from the court documents, the planner made the mistake of thinking that they were friends, thinking that they were friends.

Speaker 2: 16:45

Even if your clients are friendly and they're the friendliest in the world, until you deliver that job you are not friends. But you deliver the job, then you become friends. Yes, during the process you can be friendly, you can be the confidant, you can be the shoulder to cry on. You will see many things that you're not supposed to see. You keep quiet, you're discreet, but you are not friends because you're not equals. So those are some of the things that you know. I hope that answers your question. I'm trying to remember what the question was.

Speaker 1: 18:32

That's really amazing. I've learned so much from that, including the fact that King Charles Nick changes his toilets.

Speaker 2: 18:39

fact that King Charles Nick changes his toilet, he brings his own toilet seat and his own pillow.

Speaker 1: 18:44

Yeah, no, I did absorb a lot more than that, but that did jump out at me. I thought that was quite interesting. Yeah, I think that that's. It's so true that I know my background is a wedding planner and I wasn't in the luxury market, I was in the sort of mainstream market I suppose. But I was very much catering to the bride. I was the and we even said we are your wedding bestie, you know so. So, mind you, but that was our brand and that was our, that was our thing.

Speaker 1: 19:15

You know, in the, in the relationships that I had with these brides, was always we were having wine and cheese and they were saying yes and no to things and we felt like friends. But I love how that I think about this one that really stands out. That was a really great client and I think you know what things were important to her mother that weren't important to Alex and things were important to her husband that weren't important. And now that you say that, yes, I can see that and probably in hindsight there's more to the questionnaire along those lines as well that should be there, not just about the couple but all of those other dynamics. So that's really interesting. So just on that if someone is in that sort of mainstream wedding space, what would be the first kind of steps, apart from we've talked about sort of finding those clients, but like what else in terms of positioning their business?

Speaker 2: 20:04

Oh, that's a great one. And I tell you this might surprise you in terms of the answer. Positioning your business starts from you, so you need to have that luxury mindset. I remember I spent the first five years of my business trying to fit my business in the middle range because I didn't accept that, you know, my products were actually for the maybe 1% or whatever. So I was trying to fit in the middle because the middle gives you the most clients. Quite frankly, when you look at volume and you're going up the pyramid, obviously the higher you go, the less the number of clients that you're going to get. So it starts with your mindset. And in my book I actually talk about the nine different types of luxury business founders.

Speaker 2: 20:53

So, to give an example, I came out as an artisan and a visionary, and on paper that looks good. So as a visionary, I'm thinking of the future. I'm future casting. Everything's amazing. I can predict and I could, and that really plays to my strength. And as a craftsman, artisan, it means I care so much about my products, I'm detailed, I beat myself up if I don't hit those standards, et cetera. But here's the downside as a visionary, I need to be grounded in the present. I need to know that. Yes, it's great to have all these visions. However, elizabeth, for now, for this present moment in time, there are certain things about your business that you need to be careful about. Also, as an artisan, that is the worst combination with a visionary, because I'm spending so much money creating this incredible product. Is it even for the high-end clients? Is the pricing in terms of value? Is it reasonable? I need to be more conscious of costs. I need to be more conscious of resources and time as an artisan and many artisans are not because all we want to do is create.

Speaker 2: 22:09

So then I then said to myself okay, the type of people I need to work with in my business I need to work with a great business manager. I need to work with someone who is very business manager. I need to work with someone who is very operationally minded, someone who could literally standardize certain processes, and also I need to work with a great marketing person that can literally sell my vision and sell the artisanal products that I produce, because I'm not the only talented cake maker out there. There are many of us. So those are things I had to learn about myself. I also needed to learn about the different levels and the different types of luxury, because luxury has different levels.

Speaker 2: 22:52

Again, I split it all down in the book. So am I going to look for a hundred clients a year that pay X, or am I going to focus on maybe one or two a year that pay Y, and both have their pros and cons? Because the ones maybe the one or two a year yes, they pay a lot, but when you then break it down in terms of expenses and expenditure and demands et cetera, is it really worth it? Or is it safer to stick to my 100 and know that, okay, with this 100, I can deliver, but then with 100, you need a team that can replicate you and you also need to be present as well, because some clients are not just buying your products, they're buying you, your presence on the day. The fact that they've flown you out and they get to take a photo with you is a big deal to some clients. So those are some of the things you need to think about when you're starting out.

Speaker 1: 23:51

And what are some of the key platforms that people should be targeting and prioritizing if they're moving into that market?

Speaker 2: 24:00

Okay, so online? So again, I break it down in the book. Online, for example, and I'll give a practical example. Instagram is a great one. However, many people use Instagram wrong, because they're looking for the type of luxury client that is happy being out there and they tend to be aspirationals, or simply the best who want to show off their money and they will get inundated very soon. What you need to be looking for are those accounts that are private, and those accounts will be under a pseudonym or a nickname. It will not be under their real names, because some of them do not want that attention. So how do you find them? People ask me I say a lot of them like travel and fashion and blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Go under those big brand accounts and look in the comment sections. Look for the people that the brand is replying to. So if a brand is taking the time out to reply to a particular person, that's the person you follow and you may send a request. Just wait. But when you send your request, look at other people that Instagram is suggesting to you. There you will find similar profiles and similar people. So that is a massive tip for that.

Speaker 2: 25:20

Another tip is Google, for example, I don't use Google the usual way I use. I do my normal Google search, but then I use Google images. I want to see who's been photographed next to who. So, for example, getty Images Getty Images will not photograph anyone who is not of consequence. So look at the person, look at who they're photographed next to. That would give you a massive clue. Of course, you've got the usual the Sunday Times top whatever 100 list, the Forbes list, blah, blah, blah. However, for a certain client, they pay not to be on Forbes list, because when you look at Forbes list, there are certain regions in the world where a lot of those names are not on that list, and that's deliberate because they don't want the attention.

Speaker 2: 26:09

So, and then I also there's. You know other things as well. You can look at family offices, but that's a whole. I can spend all day talking about family offices. So those at least. I've given three solid tips that you can literally do from your living room. If you're like me, I don't like leaving my house very often, so I tend to do a lot of my networking online, believe it or not, but I had to. These are things I say. I have things in my book that you will not find on Google, because these are tips I've had to learn myself, either as a headhunter or as someone who runs a business. So you can find these people online, where you just have to have the strategic and tactical awareness.

Speaker 1: 26:54

I love that I happen to be on Getty. I think there's about six images of me. They might be about 20 years old, back when I was who's who. That's another story, but now you've made my day mentioning that. So, elizabeth, I guess, just to sort of finish off, what would be your advice? So sorry, I keep going back to wedding planners because that's obviously my, that's where I for any wedding professional that they've got their heart set on this. You've given some great advices about where the clients are, what they should be doing, what networking and all of that. But literally, what's the first step? Starting tomorrow? Starting tomorrow, what the mindset needs to change? What else?

Speaker 2: 27:33

Your imagery. So don't show, because a lot of people want to show range, so they show 20 products when three incredible products will do the job. So I can see this as a cake maker. So you know, I have my gallery, et cetera. But when I did my website I mean my first website I'm going back maybe 20 something years I remember I just had one image, beautiful image, at a time. So I don't do the gallery of like a gazillion images or whatever. And also you need to curate and organize and arrange. You can do it by color, you can do it by size, I don't you know. Whatever it is you're doing, you need to organize so that that way, when people go on your website, they're going, you're directing them, because a lot of people that go on the website, it's like entering into a maze or a foreign country for the most part.

Speaker 2: 28:34

I think about maybe 60 to 70% of people getting married who might need a planner. They might be getting married for the first time, so they need, from the very time they land on your website or your Instagram page or however they find you. You need to be like a Sherpa, a guide. So if they land on the first image and they don't like the image. That's actually not a bad thing. So you need to curate in such a way that makes sense.

Speaker 2: 29:05

I was looking at a photographer's website and then in my head I was thinking they've only done I could tell they've only done two weddings or they've only done whatever. I wasn't getting that feeling of confidence and that's because they literally just dumped all the images. There was no rhyme or reason. So if they'd shown me like the bride or a couple in their finery, if they'd created a story of the wedding day from maybe prep to the vows, I would have been interested in that. Instead, I'm getting the images are great, but I'm just getting randoms and I'm getting that wedding next to that wedding next to that wedding. It didn't make sense. But if they'd said Peter and Paul their love story, pamela and blah their love story, that would have worked for me because I'm like, okay, who are Peter and Paul and where did they get married and how did they get married?

Speaker 2: 30:03

That is a kind of curiosity you need to satisfy in people, because the longer they spend on your website, the better. It is anyway that Google goes. Okay, there's no bounce rates, number one, so Google goes. Ah, that's a great website. And also Google is doing something now where if you click on a certain image on Google images, it brings up other similar images. So you need to leverage that. So you need to say to yourself okay, the images that I want to create. So if there are any high-end I don't know wedding planners or whatever and they've got these incredible great images, you may need to create something similar. Even if you've never offered that before, you may need to create something similar. So, at the very least, when people are doing Pinterest or whatever they're doing or they're searching, your images are coming up as well.

Speaker 1: 30:55

And that's great advice. Yeah, even if it's a styled shoot, just to try. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:00

Yeah, if you're going to do a style shoot, I am begging you, it's better to do a couple a year than you're doing 10. You're all over the place, but none of your images make sense. So the first thing you need to ask is who's a photographer and where's this, where's this shoot going to appear? And, more importantly, is the? You know the blog? Are they going to link back to your website? Because they could list your website, but they could turn off? The god there's a technical term for it can't remember what it's called. So if they turn that your website because they could list your website, but they could turn off, the God there's a technical term for it Can't remember what it's called. So if they turn that off because, again, that's money, you're not getting anything. You know directly and Google's like Hmm, okay, yeah, so there's there's. You know it's a, it's a bit more, it's a bit deeper. And the last thing I would say really quickly is around storytelling you need, because your most visited page on your website is the about People want to know who is this person, where have they come from? Do we believe them? Are they authentic? Are they credible? Can we trust them? Is this person a high trust person. So your storytelling, and then I cover all this imagery storytelling website. I cover all this imagery storytelling website.

Speaker 2: 32:10

I cover everything in my book. With the storytelling it starts with a plot, the characters, the ambience. I break everything down in my book because a lot of people say something like we are the leading, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and so what, who cares? But it's a different story when you say something like. But it's a different story when you say something like you know I, I've always been, you know I like planning. This is what I've done so far, this is where I'm headed and this is you know that kind of. Again, it's organization, because people need to read a story that they resonate with and it makes sense.

Speaker 1: 32:44

So, yeah, thank you so much, elizabeth. I've learned so much. Now I feel like going back to doing wedding planning and just doing it differently. Now we keep hearing about this book. It sounds like something that absolute must read if you're thinking about going into the luxury market. So elizabeth's website is elizabeth salarucom. I will put the links in the show notes. You can also find her on linkedin, instagram and Facebook. Elizabeth, thank you so much for your time. We'd love to have you back. I'm sure there's plenty more pearls of wisdom in there.

Speaker 2: 33:15

Thank you so much for having me and yeah, I didn't mention the name of my book is the Luxe Printer.

Speaker 1: 33:23

Yes, and where else can people get that? Is it just your website or Amazon or that sort of Amazon?

Speaker 2: 33:29

Everywhere, everywhere, yeah, amazon everywhere.

Speaker 1: 33:32

Excellent. Yeah, Amazon, Go buy it guys. Amazon Thank you.

Speaker 2: 33:36

Thank you for your time. Thank you. Jack.