The Raw Truth About "Healing" I Wish Someone Told Me

In this powerful episode, I reflect on the last three podcast episodes I’ve released—and how, together, they mirror the true, raw spiral of deep spiritual evolution. I open up about the illusion of “being done healing,” the truth behind waking up in a new vibration (hint: it’s not what you think), and why real transformation doesn’t come from bypassing your shadows, but by walking straight through the fire.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated that healing isn’t linear, or wondered why peace and freedom still feel hard to access sometimes, this episode will feel like a soul mirror. I speak to the difference between superficial spirituality and the kind of real, lasting embodiment that changes your life from the inside out.

This is for the ones doing the deep work. The ones who aren’t afraid to look at themselves again and again—and rise.

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Transcript

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I was reflecting on the last three episodes I put out how three episodes ago I put out an airy solar eclipse episode. And I talked about how I transformed my life, how I learned to work with my emotions. And then episode two, I talked about my lifelong journey of healing, overthinking. And then my most recent episode, my venous retrograde Neptune and Pisces one, I shared something completely different. I shared, here's what still hurts. And here's what I'm learning to receive, and I was reflecting on the order in which I posted these episodes and how it speaks to what a true, deep spiritual transformative journey is in that. There is no shame. There's, I'm gonna cry. There is absolutely no shame. In having healed something so deeply and then having to go back into healing something else that's slightly similar, but slightly different, but a completely different vein because that is the transformative healing process. It is not linear. It is a spiral. And I'm saying this because sometimes I work with people. And they have a big breakthrough. And then they're so mad at themselves for having taken this long to get here, or they're so mad at themselves'cause they're like, I already healed that. But then they realized they healed one aspect of it, one layer of it, and there was a much deeper layer that was so unconscious and so shocking and so surprising that it, it pulled them back under again. And whenever I hear people are sad about it, I just wanna, I wanna like put my heart into their heart.'cause this is something I've had to do for myself so many times and I wanna say. There is nothing wrong with you. This is a life of finding gold and it's a fight, a life of finding more and more gold. It's not about being sad about all the gold you haven't found yet. It's about being excited about how much more gold you're gonna find, and if you get upset every time you find gold. How silly is that? If you were mining for gold and you were upset every time you found a big gold mindset, I can't believe it. To me. Six months to find this. I'm so pissed. I didn't find this six months ago. Would that journey have been worth it? Would the gold felt as good? No. And so I wanna record this episode to talk to, I don't wanna call it this, but it's the only word I can think of. Superficial spirituality and superficial transformation, and this is in no way shaming anyone or blaming anyone. This is an episode to provide awareness and empowerment and inspiration because I think that there's a lot of false information out there when it comes to deep transformation and it fucks people up. And I know when people are sharing this information, it's coming from a good place. It's coming from sharing information from where that person is in their spiritual journey. I. And they have no idea that it's harmful because it's just where they're at in their spiritual journey and it's not even harmful. Maybe it's helpful for certain people who are, who aren't where they're at yet. Just like my podcast is not for everyone, my pod, I'm not here to meet people where they're at. I really am not. I am here to speak truths that have become neutral to me on my journey, or I'm in the middle of. And I'm speaking it, and the people who will meet me will meet me if I trigger people. And you've watched every episode and you're still like, Rachel triggers me every time. Maybe you're not meant to listen to my podcast, you can still be here. That's totally cool. But like the point of what I'm saying is, is that there's different levels on the journey. And if you're here on this podcast, the level that I wanna speak to is deep spiritual transformation. And so I wanna. I wanna speak to things that I've become aware of and share. Okay, so the first thing I mentioned already, it's that even if you have done a lifetime of healing. If you continue to tell people you've done a lifetime of healing and you're done healing, and you're just here to be a guide for others, I'm gonna say this, with so much love and a big hug, you are cheating yourself and you are blocking yourself. And, and I, I'm gonna say this also with love. You to, I know you have healed your whole life. I know you have, and I'm proud of you and you have worked so hard and I will never take that away from you ever. And at some point there is a switch from healing to evolving. There is a switch from realizing that there's not something wrong with you, and so you don't have to block any more healing. I have found that when people say they've been on a long healing journey and they're done, it's because they're done at looking things that are wrong with them, and this is the switch that maybe you're ready to make. It is no longer. That there is something wrong with you. It is that you have gotten to a place where you are ready to keep evolving and life getting better and better rather than healing and looking for the things that are wrong with you. And so, for example, where I'm at in my spiritual journey is I. Every single person is a teacher for me. Every single person, even the people that I teach you are a teacher for me. I, I learn deeply from you and I probably don't tell you the ways I'm learning. I am learning through observing your patterns and reflecting on how those patterns are still in me. Because if you are in my life, you are reflecting a planet in my birth chart, whether I wanna admit it or not. It's not, you're not just here for me to help. And I'm, I have come to a place in my journey where I can be humble enough to admit that. And at one point it might have been hard for me to admit that, but yeah, I learned from every single person, especially the people I help, because when I'm helping you, there are things that I have healed that I'm helping you with, but simultaneously, there's deeper layers being revealed to me.'cause you're showing me a slightly different aspect. And may bringing clarity to it for me. And so I no longer look for those things as there's something wrong with me. In fact, I look at them as gold. How much gold can I find in every person, in every interaction? And it's why I'm willing to be vulnerable here on my podcast because that is gold in itself for me. And. My, my heart's getting a little tight because I think this is something I need to feel into. I have learned that there is more gold and freedom and power in my vulnerability than there is in me acting like I'm all healed in an authority. And in fact, I have learned that pretending I am all healed in authority is the very blocked to my, my power. And it's why people probably listen to me are like, holy shit Rachel, you really share some shit. Yeah, it's'cause I, I will keep sharing shit. I had rather just put it all out there because that is truth and that is strength. And I am not afraid to say that I am still evolving'cause I'm not healing anymore. My life is getting better and better. And so it's the first deep spiritual truth I wanna bring to you. Stop looking at learning lessons evolving as there's something wrong with you. You are just finding more and more gold nuggets, and if you look at it that way, it becomes so much easier. You stop resisting your growth, you stop resisting your power, and you have way more freedom and you stop needing to prove yourself to people. I have been overcoming a deep wound of proving myself to people and I'm still in it, and it's been one of the deepest lessons for me. Okay, number two. Peace is not an event. Freedom is not a moment. You don't just wake up healed in another dimension overnight. And when I've heard spiritual teachers. Share that it, it does get me. Because I understand they're wanting to preach what is possible for people and that they can wake up in a new earth and feel peace and freedom and like money doesn't matter. And like the whole world is at their oyster. And I know it's a dream that people wanna wake up to and I'm sure there are days you can wake up and feel that way. There are plenty of days I wake up and feel that way. There are weeks, months when I feel like I'm living in candy land, where everything is magic, everything is in constant flow. I feel peace. I feel freedom. That being said, you do not just ever wake up healed and when if you ever hear someone say that, take it with a grain of salt because healing is not linear. Peace is not instant. And peace and freedom are a muscle. They're a muscle. And if you go to the gym, let's say you start going to the gym, you'll build a muscle slowly and surely over time. And you can get stronger and stronger, but it requires going deeper and pushing yourself, and then lifting heavier weights and going heavier. So very similar to the first point. Evolution is never done. You can always get stronger and stronger. You can always get connected to new parts of your body, new muscles in your body, new movements, new flexibilities, new things. It's limitless, but because it's limitless, you can lose muscle sometimes. You can lose peace. You can go right back into a pattern. You can then, um, flow back into like your highest healing and then you can flow lower. But the thing is, and you'll always flow higher and higher. It's not that you go back to ground one. My, since I've been nine and I've been on a healing journey, I have gone higher and higher, and I'm sure you've recognized that too. It's not back to square one unless you don't do the deeper work. If you feel like your healing's like this up, down, up, down, up, down, it's because. There is a false sense there. There's that block in number one. I talked about very likely that you're done learning lessons. It's too painful and you're actually resisting the, the evolution more than you're flowing with it. And that's okay. It took me a really long time to figure this out. But the reason I'm, I'm bringing all this up is because you cannot just wake up healed and stay healed and stay in this new dimension and say, oh, I woke up in the five D I'm staying here. This is what it's like now. This is where I live now. Goodbye everyone. See you when you get here. It just makes, it's not how the healing path works. It's like someone saying, I became a bodybuilder and I'm fit for life now. And, um, see you when you get here. No, life is constant evolution. We are here to find gold constantly. It's a constant game. And I am not saying this to hurt anyone, make anyone feel sad or make anyone feel disempowered. Make anyone feel like heaven on earth is not possible. I have found that heaven on earth is so possible as long as you're willing to constantly look for the depth and magic in life and see where you can go deeper. And here's the other thing I've learned is that. The constant lessons when you really learn to stop resisting them, they can feel like a struggle when you're resisting them. I understand why people say life is, is struggle because most of my life was struggle until I learned this lesson. People ask me if it, I hate hearing the hard truths that spiral me into deep transformation. And I tell them, I am a transformation masochist. I want people to punch me in the gut. I want you to stab me in the chest'cause I wanna self-reflect. I wanna move through that wound because every time I have gained more power, I have gained more freedom. I've gained more. I don't give a fuck ness.'cause in my experience, when you stop resisting the lessons, but you dive head first, you accept them, you become part of them. You say, yes, this is my shadow and I'm gonna own it, and I'm gonna make it me. And I'm not gonna resist it or feel bad about it, or feel shame about it, but I'm gonna transmute it into power and I don't give a fuck ness. I'm gonna feel the deepest pain I can from this until it burns everything down inside me. And I'm emerged nothing but in my truth, nothing but in alignment. And I'm unfuckwithable because I went through that ego death. I went through that fire. I, I faced that truth. That felt like a stab in the gut. And instead of resisting it and pouting about it and making myself a victim about it, I owned it and I claimed it. And I said, yeah, I do do that. And I felt the pain of it. And I said, I will never do that again. Because when you truly feel the pain of something, it burns you down. To the point where you realize you're still alive having faced it, and then you're free. It's why I've had so many clients, um, I've had so many people in my life who tell me, Rachel, you just go there. You just speak these hard truths. You go to these deep truths and not everyone's ready for it, and you say it. So no, nonchalantly like, it's like it's just no big deal and with no compassion and. It is not that I don't have compassion, it's, it's that I am saying them neutrally. And the reason I can say a lot of these truths neutrally now is'cause I've burned them down inside me and they've become neutral. And so it's hard for me not to say them neutrally because I look at every, at all neutrally now because except for the new things that come and that stab me in the gut, they'll stab me in the gut and until I come back into neutrality around them, and then I'm here to speak more neutral truths that trigger people.'cause they're like, why are you saying it so neutrally? It's'cause I've cleared it. Truly. And so you don't wake up overnight healed, but you do continuously can face stabs in the guts. Take ownership of it, not resist it, let it burn you down and kill a part of you. And then you have neutrality and freedom and you will always keep happening and you will learn to love it. That's why I say I'm a mindset masochist and people think I'm crazy, but it's'cause I've learned to love it. And you can too. It's really not as horrible and painful as it seems. It's actually way less painful to do what I just said than to resist the healing and the lessons. Like I totally understand why people don't wanna keep learning lessons and are sick of them.'cause there was a point in my life where I felt the same way until I learn this and this is what I guide people through, I'm really good at the deepest of deep spirituality and transformation because basically. If you lived a day in the life with me, I am basically shamanic journeying most of my life except for the times I go out and have fun with my boyfriend or my friends, or I travel, or I do fun things, and that's kind of how my life works, is I'm either in deep inner reflection and transformation like meditation, journaling, going deep into my soul, my astrology, and uncovering deep truths, or I'm living my life. And I sometimes feel like I'm either in a dream state or alive. It's kind of like I live between those two and I love it, but that's what I do. If you are called to this depth of work and you are like, I really want to like do that deep excavation where I feel that power, that I feel that I don't give a fuck ness, I can speak my truth from that place, then I am the person for you. And if you wanna apply for one-on-one coaching, I have my one-on-one coaching application down below. If you wanna apply for one-on-one coaching, you do have to book a birth chart rating with me first. It allows me to understand if I want to take you on as a one-on-one client when you do the application. Because until I read your birth chart and like interact with you and then read your application, it's hard for me to tell if we're a good fit or not. So I hope this episode served you well. Make sure to share it with anyone that you think could use this breakthrough today. This little nudge, this little insights I'm sending. Love and journey well.