{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.449,"endTime":2.449,"body":"So you're going to be, or"},{"startTime":0.449,"endTime":2.449,"body":"reasonably become a dad."},{"startTime":3.43,"endTime":8.25,"body":"Being honest and you want to be a good"},{"startTime":3.43,"endTime":8.25,"body":"dad, you're now seeking information."},{"startTime":8.99,"endTime":12.3,"body":"The problem is there literally"},{"startTime":8.99,"endTime":12.3,"body":"been over 75, 000 parenting books"},{"startTime":12.3,"endTime":14.15,"body":"written in the last decade alone."},{"startTime":14.76,"endTime":17.579,"body":"And you certainly don't"},{"startTime":14.76,"endTime":17.579,"body":"have time to read all those."},{"startTime":18.295,"endTime":22.305,"body":"Well, in this episode of the"},{"startTime":18.295,"endTime":22.305,"body":"Fallible Man podcast, 20 of the"},{"startTime":22.315,"endTime":23.795,"body":"most common imperative myths."},{"startTime":24.235,"endTime":26.255,"body":"So at least you got that out of the way."},{"startTime":26.894,"endTime":27.675,"body":"Let's get into it."},{"startTime":33.295,"endTime":34.715,"body":"Here's the million dollar question."},{"startTime":35.195,"endTime":39.215,"body":"How do men like us reach our full"},{"startTime":35.195,"endTime":39.215,"body":"potential growing to the men we dream"},{"startTime":39.215,"endTime":43.034,"body":"of being while taking care of our"},{"startTime":39.215,"endTime":43.034,"body":"responsibilities, working, and living?"},{"startTime":43.325,"endTime":46.745,"body":"Being good husbands, fathers,"},{"startTime":43.325,"endTime":46.745,"body":"and still take care of ourselves."},{"startTime":47.735,"endTime":50.805,"body":"Well, that's the big"},{"startTime":47.735,"endTime":50.805,"body":"question in this podcast."},{"startTime":51.144,"endTime":52.885,"body":"We'll help you answer"},{"startTime":51.144,"endTime":52.885,"body":"those questions and more."},{"startTime":53.125,"endTime":55.845,"body":"My name is Brent and welcome"},{"startTime":53.125,"endTime":55.845,"body":"to the fallible man podcast."},{"startTime":59.675,"endTime":62.065,"body":"Dad is my favorite title"},{"startTime":59.675,"endTime":62.065,"body":"I've ever had in my life."},{"startTime":62.744,"endTime":66.354,"body":"I have two kids and I've spent over"},{"startTime":62.744,"endTime":66.354,"body":"20 years of my life working with"},{"startTime":66.354,"endTime":68.014,"body":"young people in various capacities."},{"startTime":68.495,"endTime":71.135,"body":"Being a father is a biologically simple."},{"startTime":71.86,"endTime":75.08,"body":"And well, let's face it."},{"startTime":75.08,"endTime":76.68,"body":"It's a biologically simple job."},{"startTime":77.289,"endTime":79.05,"body":"Any male can be a father."},{"startTime":79.21,"endTime":82.54,"body":"However, being a dad is a"},{"startTime":79.21,"endTime":82.54,"body":"joyous yet stressful job."},{"startTime":82.55,"endTime":86.369,"body":"That is amazing, but you're also going"},{"startTime":82.55,"endTime":86.369,"body":"to spend the whole rest of your life"},{"startTime":86.369,"endTime":87.859,"body":"trying to protect it, perfect it."},{"startTime":89.275,"endTime":93.155,"body":"By the way, my name is Brent and"},{"startTime":89.275,"endTime":93.155,"body":"welcome to the Fallible Man podcast,"},{"startTime":93.165,"endTime":96.744,"body":"your home for all things, man,"},{"startTime":93.165,"endTime":96.744,"body":"big shout out to Fallible Nation."},{"startTime":96.755,"endTime":98.604,"body":"That's our long term listenership."},{"startTime":98.644,"endTime":99.274,"body":"And you know what?"},{"startTime":99.285,"endTime":100.884,"body":"You don't have to join"},{"startTime":99.285,"endTime":100.884,"body":"any club or anything."},{"startTime":100.884,"endTime":104.804,"body":"Just stick around and enjoy the"},{"startTime":100.884,"endTime":104.804,"body":"shows to come and a warm welcome"},{"startTime":105.324,"endTime":106.555,"body":"to our first time listeners."},{"startTime":107.07,"endTime":108.22,"body":"Hey, thanks for checking us out."},{"startTime":108.42,"endTime":111.29,"body":"We know there's a lot fighting for"},{"startTime":108.42,"endTime":111.29,"body":"your attention, so be sure to connect"},{"startTime":111.29,"endTime":114.789,"body":"with us at the fallible man on most"},{"startTime":111.29,"endTime":114.789,"body":"social media platforms, let us know"},{"startTime":114.789,"endTime":117.509,"body":"what you thought of this show or"},{"startTime":114.789,"endTime":117.509,"body":"especially active on Instagram."},{"startTime":117.51,"endTime":119.249,"body":"I'd love to hear what you think."},{"startTime":120.03,"endTime":122.02,"body":"Now let's, let's get back into it."},{"startTime":122.02,"endTime":124.339,"body":"I told you this is going to"},{"startTime":122.02,"endTime":124.339,"body":"be rapid fire guys, because."},{"startTime":124.774,"endTime":127.384,"body":"Let's face it, that could take a"},{"startTime":124.774,"endTime":127.384,"body":"while to go through 20, so we're"},{"startTime":127.384,"endTime":128.625,"body":"not going to take that long."},{"startTime":129.155,"endTime":132.755,"body":"So let's dive in, give you a head"},{"startTime":129.155,"endTime":132.755,"body":"start on your journey to be an amazing"},{"startTime":132.755,"endTime":133.934,"body":"dad, which I know you're going to be."},{"startTime":134.375,"endTime":136.815,"body":"Number one, parents shouldn't"},{"startTime":134.375,"endTime":136.815,"body":"fight in front of their kids."},{"startTime":137.505,"endTime":138.635,"body":"Guys, that's a stupid idea."},{"startTime":138.984,"endTime":141.054,"body":"Level up your conflict resolution skills."},{"startTime":141.515,"endTime":145.954,"body":"Fight towards success for you as a couple,"},{"startTime":141.515,"endTime":145.954,"body":"not for the individual win, and teach"},{"startTime":145.954,"endTime":149.505,"body":"your children how to handle conflict"},{"startTime":145.954,"endTime":149.505,"body":"in a relationship in a healthy way."},{"startTime":150.105,"endTime":151.325,"body":"Don't let the media teach them."},{"startTime":151.625,"endTime":152.525,"body":"That's your job."},{"startTime":152.955,"endTime":156.655,"body":"Number two, being strict,"},{"startTime":152.955,"endTime":156.655,"body":"strict makes well behaved kids."},{"startTime":157.295,"endTime":158.545,"body":"Uh, not necessarily true."},{"startTime":158.995,"endTime":162.265,"body":"Being super rigid and strict only"},{"startTime":158.995,"endTime":162.265,"body":"make kids that hide their lives"},{"startTime":162.265,"endTime":163.775,"body":"from you when they have issues."},{"startTime":164.305,"endTime":168.225,"body":"If your kid is scared of you, or scared"},{"startTime":164.305,"endTime":168.225,"body":"for you to find out what they're doing,"},{"startTime":169.035,"endTime":170.495,"body":"then you're handling things badly."},{"startTime":170.605,"endTime":174.525,"body":"Yeah, there's gonna be consequences,"},{"startTime":170.605,"endTime":174.525,"body":"but kids aren't scared of consequences."},{"startTime":174.745,"endTime":177.435,"body":"They're scared of angry"},{"startTime":174.745,"endTime":177.435,"body":"parenting, so don't do that."},{"startTime":178.745,"endTime":183.015,"body":"Number three, every bad behavior"},{"startTime":178.745,"endTime":183.015,"body":"requires strong consequences."},{"startTime":184.305,"endTime":186.935,"body":"Consequences got to"},{"startTime":184.305,"endTime":186.935,"body":"scale with the violation."},{"startTime":187.105,"endTime":187.495,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":187.805,"endTime":191.044,"body":"Punching their sibling can't have"},{"startTime":187.805,"endTime":191.044,"body":"the same consequences as not picking"},{"startTime":191.044,"endTime":192.144,"body":"up their laundry off the floor."},{"startTime":193.035,"endTime":196.084,"body":"So strong is the wrong word."},{"startTime":196.505,"endTime":200.214,"body":"Every bad or inappropriate"},{"startTime":196.505,"endTime":200.214,"body":"behavior has to have relative"},{"startTime":200.234,"endTime":202.225,"body":"consequences to the behavior."},{"startTime":203.395,"endTime":205.485,"body":"This should be established long"},{"startTime":203.395,"endTime":205.485,"body":"before your kid is actually"},{"startTime":205.485,"endTime":206.575,"body":"paying for those consequences."},{"startTime":207.05,"endTime":209.39,"body":"They should know it and they"},{"startTime":207.05,"endTime":209.39,"body":"should not be afraid of it."},{"startTime":209.399,"endTime":210.749,"body":"They should just know"},{"startTime":209.399,"endTime":210.749,"body":"it's going to be there."},{"startTime":211.869,"endTime":215.159,"body":"Number four, you should react"},{"startTime":211.869,"endTime":215.159,"body":"in the moment for discipline."},{"startTime":215.659,"endTime":217.269,"body":"Your children aren't dogs."},{"startTime":218.069,"endTime":221.159,"body":"They don't lose the point if"},{"startTime":218.069,"endTime":221.159,"body":"you don't react right away."},{"startTime":221.599,"endTime":223.339,"body":"So acknowledge the issue in the moment."},{"startTime":223.92,"endTime":226.65,"body":"So they know that there's going"},{"startTime":223.92,"endTime":226.65,"body":"to be consequences down the road."},{"startTime":227.54,"endTime":228.87,"body":"This was not okay."},{"startTime":229.17,"endTime":230.94,"body":"That was against our family rules."},{"startTime":231.359,"endTime":235.619,"body":"Now adjust based on your emotional"},{"startTime":231.359,"endTime":235.619,"body":"response, never discipline out of emotion"},{"startTime":235.99,"endTime":240.829,"body":"is going to backfire on you on some"},{"startTime":235.99,"endTime":240.829,"body":"horrible unforeseen way in the future."},{"startTime":240.829,"endTime":244.239,"body":"If you do number five, saying yes."},{"startTime":245.115,"endTime":246.325,"body":"Means you're a failed parent."},{"startTime":246.805,"endTime":248.045,"body":"It's absolutely false."},{"startTime":248.505,"endTime":250.524,"body":"You don't have to say no to everything."},{"startTime":250.935,"endTime":256.985,"body":"Parenting is a constantly scaling"},{"startTime":250.935,"endTime":256.985,"body":"and reevaluating position of"},{"startTime":257.045,"endTime":258.545,"body":"your principles and beliefs."},{"startTime":258.654,"endTime":259.125,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":259.434,"endTime":261.314,"body":"No, clearly why you say yes."},{"startTime":261.575,"endTime":266.745,"body":"And why you say no and have a legit"},{"startTime":261.575,"endTime":266.745,"body":"reason for both because I said"},{"startTime":266.745,"endTime":268.175,"body":"so, isn't a legitimate reason."},{"startTime":268.195,"endTime":271.015,"body":"Just let me throw that out there for"},{"startTime":268.195,"endTime":271.015,"body":"all of you who grew up with that."},{"startTime":271.015,"endTime":274.585,"body":"Like I did, because I said, so"},{"startTime":271.015,"endTime":274.585,"body":"it was not a legitimate reason."},{"startTime":275.145,"endTime":279.174,"body":"Have a legit reason for both"},{"startTime":275.145,"endTime":279.174,"body":"yeses and nos, but saying yes,"},{"startTime":279.174,"endTime":280.444,"body":"doesn't make you a bad parent."},{"startTime":280.594,"endTime":282.994,"body":"You're just understanding"},{"startTime":280.594,"endTime":282.994,"body":"what's worth actually making"},{"startTime":282.994,"endTime":285.704,"body":"an issue out of number six."},{"startTime":286.154,"endTime":288.544,"body":"It's better to shield"},{"startTime":286.154,"endTime":288.544,"body":"your children from loss."},{"startTime":288.544,"endTime":288.614,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":289.375,"endTime":292.604,"body":"Just like fighting, loss is part"},{"startTime":289.375,"endTime":292.604,"body":"of life and it's a process they"},{"startTime":292.604,"endTime":297.555,"body":"will learn eventually so you"},{"startTime":292.604,"endTime":297.555,"body":"can walk through them with them."},{"startTime":298.349,"endTime":299.65,"body":"And go along with it."},{"startTime":299.65,"endTime":305.42,"body":"So they know how to react to loss, how"},{"startTime":299.65,"endTime":305.42,"body":"to process that, or you can throw them"},{"startTime":305.42,"endTime":310.099,"body":"to the wolves, like a lot of people"},{"startTime":305.42,"endTime":310.099,"body":"there, number seven, all kids are picky."},{"startTime":311.15,"endTime":311.92,"body":"This isn't true."},{"startTime":312.58,"endTime":316.65,"body":"Not all kids are picky,"},{"startTime":312.58,"endTime":316.65,"body":"but some can be right."},{"startTime":316.74,"endTime":318.929,"body":"Some of us are old enough"},{"startTime":316.74,"endTime":318.929,"body":"to remember the commercials."},{"startTime":319.159,"endTime":320.2,"body":"Mikey will eat it."},{"startTime":320.73,"endTime":323.1,"body":"Uh, I met those kids."},{"startTime":323.1,"endTime":323.51,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":323.66,"endTime":325.94,"body":"There are kids who would eat dirt"},{"startTime":323.66,"endTime":325.94,"body":"if you put it in front of them,"},{"startTime":326.8,"endTime":328.17,"body":"but this is double edged sword."},{"startTime":328.47,"endTime":330.35,"body":"Accommodating pickiness is bad."},{"startTime":330.35,"endTime":331.97,"body":"It actually creates more pickiness."},{"startTime":332.475,"endTime":338.905,"body":"However, forcing kids to do"},{"startTime":332.475,"endTime":338.905,"body":"something are not be picky, right?"},{"startTime":338.935,"endTime":343.025,"body":"With the either you get nothing approach"},{"startTime":338.935,"endTime":343.025,"body":"isn't necessarily perfect either."},{"startTime":343.835,"endTime":348.635,"body":"It cognitively takes much longer"},{"startTime":343.835,"endTime":348.635,"body":"to introduce new concepts for"},{"startTime":348.635,"endTime":351.904,"body":"some people than other people."},{"startTime":351.904,"endTime":353.395,"body":"And that includes flavors."},{"startTime":353.844,"endTime":358.911,"body":"So you'll actually frequently have to"},{"startTime":353.844,"endTime":358.911,"body":"introduce a new con like flavor, new"},{"startTime":358.911,"endTime":364.344,"body":"concept, new idea, your kid 10, 15 times"},{"startTime":358.911,"endTime":364.344,"body":"before it actually starts to take root."},{"startTime":365.354,"endTime":367.935,"body":"So don't think they're being picky."},{"startTime":368.145,"endTime":370.285,"body":"Think this is a new"},{"startTime":368.145,"endTime":370.285,"body":"approach, our new thing."},{"startTime":371.365,"endTime":371.655,"body":"Number eight."},{"startTime":372.415,"endTime":373.505,"body":"Children come first."},{"startTime":373.945,"endTime":374.345,"body":"False."},{"startTime":374.385,"endTime":375.405,"body":"100 percent false."},{"startTime":375.965,"endTime":378.465,"body":"Your relationship comes first."},{"startTime":379.255,"endTime":383.015,"body":"It is the blueprint and the example"},{"startTime":379.255,"endTime":383.015,"body":"for your kid's future and their"},{"startTime":383.015,"endTime":385.025,"body":"kid's future and their kid's future."},{"startTime":385.745,"endTime":390.895,"body":"So focus on prioritizing it and your"},{"startTime":385.745,"endTime":390.895,"body":"health because you need both to be a"},{"startTime":390.895,"endTime":394.595,"body":"good place for you to be able to take"},{"startTime":390.895,"endTime":394.595,"body":"care of your kids the best way possible."},{"startTime":396.295,"endTime":398.585,"body":"Number nine, praising"},{"startTime":396.295,"endTime":398.585,"body":"kids makes them smarter."},{"startTime":398.765,"endTime":399.615,"body":"That's dumb."},{"startTime":400.294,"endTime":404.795,"body":"That's like, uh, you know, having"},{"startTime":400.294,"endTime":404.795,"body":"likes makes you more popular."},{"startTime":406.265,"endTime":406.724,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":407.405,"endTime":411.255,"body":"Praise the growth, growth mindset"},{"startTime":407.405,"endTime":411.255,"body":"and the process of coming up"},{"startTime":411.275,"endTime":412.914,"body":"with an idea or a solution."},{"startTime":413.855,"endTime":417.684,"body":"Praise thinking outcomes don't matter"},{"startTime":413.855,"endTime":417.684,"body":"and they don't make you smarter."},{"startTime":418.33,"endTime":420.94,"body":"Learning critical thinking skills"},{"startTime":418.33,"endTime":420.94,"body":"and the ability to learn and"},{"startTime":420.95,"endTime":423.64,"body":"gain knowledge, that's valuable."},{"startTime":423.799,"endTime":427.01,"body":"So praise your kid when they take"},{"startTime":423.799,"endTime":427.01,"body":"the initiative to learn and grow."},{"startTime":428.67,"endTime":431.289,"body":"Number 10, parenting comes natural."},{"startTime":433.039,"endTime":433.7,"body":"Yeah, right."},{"startTime":434.19,"endTime":439.019,"body":"If you feel unprepared, lost, panic,"},{"startTime":434.19,"endTime":439.019,"body":"scared, terrified, or unqualified,"},{"startTime":439.329,"endTime":442.03,"body":"then 9 percent of parents."},{"startTime":443.0,"endTime":445.349,"body":"It is a learning and growing process."},{"startTime":445.92,"endTime":448.85,"body":"And what is right for one kid, just what"},{"startTime":445.92,"endTime":448.85,"body":"you think you got to figure it out is"},{"startTime":448.85,"endTime":450.46,"body":"not going to be right for the next kid."},{"startTime":451.32,"endTime":454.299,"body":"Some parts may come easier to"},{"startTime":451.32,"endTime":454.299,"body":"you than others, but parenting"},{"startTime":454.3,"endTime":457.445,"body":"well is not a natural thing."},{"startTime":457.445,"endTime":459.45,"body":"There's just way too much involved."},{"startTime":459.82,"endTime":463.4,"body":"Parenting is a really big job and"},{"startTime":459.82,"endTime":463.4,"body":"there's lots to learn and grow"},{"startTime":463.4,"endTime":465.49,"body":"and do in it and master yourself."},{"startTime":465.509,"endTime":469.74,"body":"So, no, it's not a natural thing as far"},{"startTime":465.509,"endTime":469.74,"body":"as, Oh, I'm just going to be good at this."},{"startTime":469.815,"endTime":472.805,"body":"I have a lot of experience with kids."},{"startTime":472.865,"endTime":474.935,"body":"I thought I was going to"},{"startTime":472.865,"endTime":474.935,"body":"be a great parent guys."},{"startTime":474.965,"endTime":476.275,"body":"I learned every single day."},{"startTime":476.435,"endTime":477.315,"body":"I guarantee it."},{"startTime":477.405,"endTime":478.855,"body":"Just ask my nine and 12 year old."},{"startTime":478.855,"endTime":479.344,"body":"They'll tell you."},{"startTime":480.875,"endTime":482.624,"body":"Number 11, good parents."},{"startTime":482.624,"endTime":484.005,"body":"Don't ever lose their tempers."},{"startTime":485.034,"endTime":486.094,"body":"I fell prey to this."},{"startTime":486.41,"endTime":492.23,"body":"This was a big, like, I, I, I had"},{"startTime":486.41,"endTime":492.23,"body":"regret over this because guess what?"},{"startTime":492.28,"endTime":493.54,"body":"You will get angry."},{"startTime":494.2,"endTime":498.789,"body":"You just engineered an inherently"},{"startTime":494.2,"endTime":498.789,"body":"selfish being that knows and constantly"},{"startTime":498.789,"endTime":501.35,"body":"tests exactly what makes you crazy."},{"startTime":501.82,"endTime":503.87,"body":"Just for the sake of provoking a reaction."},{"startTime":504.35,"endTime":505.62,"body":"They want to know the boundaries."},{"startTime":506.169,"endTime":508.314,"body":"Good parents learn to"},{"startTime":506.169,"endTime":508.314,"body":"restrain their anger."},{"startTime":508.925,"endTime":512.095,"body":"And it takes time and not act on emotion."},{"startTime":512.495,"endTime":515.435,"body":"But if anybody in the world is going"},{"startTime":512.495,"endTime":515.435,"body":"to make you lose your temper, it's your"},{"startTime":515.435,"endTime":517.424,"body":"kids that doesn't make you a bad parent."},{"startTime":517.435,"endTime":518.534,"body":"That just makes you're human."},{"startTime":519.765,"endTime":522.595,"body":"Number 12, kids don't want"},{"startTime":519.765,"endTime":522.595,"body":"to talk to their parents."},{"startTime":523.205,"endTime":527.964,"body":"This nonsense, and this is nonsense"},{"startTime":523.205,"endTime":527.964,"body":"comes from movies and television shows"},{"startTime":528.394,"endTime":530.354,"body":"where parents ask stupid questions."},{"startTime":530.405,"endTime":532.095,"body":"And yes, there are stupid questions."},{"startTime":532.515,"endTime":533.245,"body":"How was school?"},{"startTime":533.485,"endTime":533.915,"body":"Eh."},{"startTime":534.314,"endTime":535.225,"body":"That's a stupid question."},{"startTime":535.295,"endTime":535.694,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":536.055,"endTime":537.085,"body":"This comes from those shows."},{"startTime":537.085,"endTime":538.175,"body":"We've seen it for years."},{"startTime":538.745,"endTime":541.805,"body":"Raise your kids talking"},{"startTime":538.745,"endTime":541.805,"body":"by listening to them."},{"startTime":543.955,"endTime":547.025,"body":"My 12 year old is doing the"},{"startTime":543.955,"endTime":547.025,"body":"fundraiser right now with me."},{"startTime":547.225,"endTime":550.305,"body":"And I love listening to her"},{"startTime":547.225,"endTime":550.305,"body":"cause she has a lot to say."},{"startTime":550.655,"endTime":555.195,"body":"She's a smart young woman and I can't"},{"startTime":550.655,"endTime":555.195,"body":"wait to hear everything she wants to"},{"startTime":555.195,"endTime":561.075,"body":"share with me because I listen and"},{"startTime":555.195,"endTime":561.075,"body":"I treat what they say with respect."},{"startTime":561.465,"endTime":562.224,"body":"Guess what?"},{"startTime":562.354,"endTime":565.524,"body":"My daughter's talked to me"},{"startTime":562.354,"endTime":565.524,"body":"about everything and I love it."},{"startTime":565.965,"endTime":569.955,"body":"So learn to listen, learn to treat"},{"startTime":565.965,"endTime":569.955,"body":"what they have to say with respect"},{"startTime":569.975,"endTime":572.615,"body":"because to them, it's important"},{"startTime":569.975,"endTime":572.615,"body":"whether you think it is or not."},{"startTime":572.945,"endTime":576.254,"body":"So treat it like it is, and they"},{"startTime":572.945,"endTime":576.254,"body":"will always talk to you and they"},{"startTime":576.255,"endTime":577.905,"body":"will always want to talk to you."},{"startTime":578.945,"endTime":581.375,"body":"Number 13, children hate discipline."},{"startTime":582.255,"endTime":583.674,"body":"Children thrive on discipline."},{"startTime":583.875,"endTime":587.075,"body":"This is an all out falsehood because"},{"startTime":583.875,"endTime":587.075,"body":"not only do children thrive on"},{"startTime":587.075,"endTime":588.985,"body":"discipline, adults thrive on discipline."},{"startTime":589.395,"endTime":591.565,"body":"Everybody wants to know"},{"startTime":589.395,"endTime":591.565,"body":"where their boundaries are."},{"startTime":591.695,"endTime":595.095,"body":"It lets them have security to"},{"startTime":591.695,"endTime":595.095,"body":"grow in what they're doing."},{"startTime":595.415,"endTime":599.625,"body":"Area is everybody has boundaries"},{"startTime":595.415,"endTime":599.625,"body":"and knowing those boundaries and"},{"startTime":599.625,"endTime":603.305,"body":"being sure of those actually gives"},{"startTime":599.625,"endTime":603.305,"body":"you the confidence to thrive."},{"startTime":604.365,"endTime":607.474,"body":"Number 14, children need"},{"startTime":604.365,"endTime":607.474,"body":"constant entertainment."},{"startTime":607.925,"endTime":611.564,"body":"They don't and you screw"},{"startTime":607.925,"endTime":611.564,"body":"everyone else when you do this."},{"startTime":613.28,"endTime":614.88,"body":"Children don't need"},{"startTime":613.28,"endTime":614.88,"body":"constant entertainment."},{"startTime":615.82,"endTime":617.35,"body":"I've, I've fallen prey to this."},{"startTime":617.35,"endTime":617.64,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":617.64,"endTime":619.5,"body":"I told you it's always a work in progress."},{"startTime":619.99,"endTime":622.89,"body":"It is so much better to make"},{"startTime":619.99,"endTime":622.89,"body":"sure that your current children"},{"startTime":622.93,"endTime":624.65,"body":"aren't constantly entertained."},{"startTime":625.73,"endTime":630.269,"body":"Let them learn to find things"},{"startTime":625.73,"endTime":630.269,"body":"to do when they're bored."},{"startTime":630.279,"endTime":631.78,"body":"You'll hear that word a lot as parents."},{"startTime":632.24,"endTime":633.16,"body":"I'm bored."},{"startTime":633.169,"endTime":633.569,"body":"Great."},{"startTime":633.829,"endTime":635.139,"body":"Let them learn to be bored."},{"startTime":635.629,"endTime":638.909,"body":"Let them exercise their mind and"},{"startTime":635.629,"endTime":638.909,"body":"learn ways to entertain themselves."},{"startTime":639.219,"endTime":644.87,"body":"And to think number 15, there's"},{"startTime":639.219,"endTime":644.87,"body":"only one right way to parent."},{"startTime":645.6,"endTime":648.42,"body":"There is no single"},{"startTime":645.6,"endTime":648.42,"body":"correct way to be a dad."},{"startTime":649.319,"endTime":654.38,"body":"Love your children, children, teach them,"},{"startTime":649.319,"endTime":654.38,"body":"love your children, teach them to be"},{"startTime":654.41,"endTime":656.879,"body":"valuable people and do your very best."},{"startTime":656.879,"endTime":659.239,"body":"But there is no one size fits all dad."},{"startTime":659.729,"endTime":660.18,"body":"Got it."},{"startTime":660.649,"endTime":662.419,"body":"Don't ever buy into that nonsense."},{"startTime":662.429,"endTime":666.68,"body":"Number 16, parents should"},{"startTime":662.429,"endTime":666.68,"body":"be friends with their kids."},{"startTime":667.235,"endTime":674.725,"body":"This common misconception, hell no, this"},{"startTime":667.235,"endTime":674.725,"body":"dumb idea is responsible for probably"},{"startTime":674.725,"endTime":680.165,"body":"half of our societal woes because there"},{"startTime":674.725,"endTime":680.165,"body":"was a whole string of parents in my"},{"startTime":680.165,"endTime":685.165,"body":"age group are a little bit younger who"},{"startTime":680.165,"endTime":685.165,"body":"thought I should be friends with my kids."},{"startTime":685.274,"endTime":687.354,"body":"Your kids have friends, be their parent."},{"startTime":687.434,"endTime":688.735,"body":"They only have two of those."},{"startTime":690.27,"endTime":691.21,"body":"They got enough friends."},{"startTime":691.73,"endTime":693.05,"body":"This is how we got here, guys."},{"startTime":694.17,"endTime":694.9,"body":"This is horrible."},{"startTime":694.9,"endTime":696.13,"body":"And this myth has got to go."},{"startTime":696.96,"endTime":700.28,"body":"Number 17, good parents mean great kids."},{"startTime":701.58,"endTime":706.93,"body":"Every one of your children is a unique"},{"startTime":701.58,"endTime":706.93,"body":"individual who has to decide what"},{"startTime":706.93,"endTime":710.829,"body":"they're going to do with every situation"},{"startTime":706.93,"endTime":710.829,"body":"based on not only what you've taught"},{"startTime":710.829,"endTime":715.889,"body":"them, but all their other influences"},{"startTime":710.829,"endTime":715.889,"body":"and their individual personality."},{"startTime":716.549,"endTime":720.769,"body":"I had amazing parents and I made"},{"startTime":716.549,"endTime":720.769,"body":"some horrible choices over the years."},{"startTime":721.499,"endTime":725.76,"body":"I worked with teenagers on and off for"},{"startTime":721.499,"endTime":725.76,"body":"years and I watched some amazing parents"},{"startTime":726.099,"endTime":728.099,"body":"whose kids turned out to be complete."},{"startTime":730.089,"endTime":731.829,"body":"We'll try and keep this PG assholes."},{"startTime":731.829,"endTime":732.55,"body":"Is that close enough?"},{"startTime":733.079,"endTime":733.569,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":733.709,"endTime":736.389,"body":"Being a good parent does not ensure"},{"startTime":733.709,"endTime":736.389,"body":"you're going to have great kids."},{"startTime":736.709,"endTime":740.749,"body":"So you have to understand at"},{"startTime":736.709,"endTime":740.749,"body":"some point, your child takes over"},{"startTime":740.749,"endTime":742.609,"body":"responsibility for their choices in life."},{"startTime":743.79,"endTime":747.67,"body":"Number 18, you can hold"},{"startTime":743.79,"endTime":747.67,"body":"a baby too much, right?"},{"startTime":748.53,"endTime":753.399,"body":"Unless you are doing this at a cartoonish"},{"startTime":748.53,"endTime":753.399,"body":"level, like that little kid who walked"},{"startTime":753.4,"endTime":757.67,"body":"around squeezing the cat all the time"},{"startTime":753.4,"endTime":757.67,"body":"in that cartoon and never put them down."},{"startTime":759.99,"endTime":763.54,"body":"Your kid needs some time down"},{"startTime":759.99,"endTime":763.54,"body":"for them to healthily develop."},{"startTime":764.189,"endTime":766.949,"body":"But unless you were just going to"},{"startTime":764.189,"endTime":766.949,"body":"that cartoonish level, guess what?"},{"startTime":766.959,"endTime":767.87,"body":"You're going to put them down."},{"startTime":767.87,"endTime":772.339,"body":"Eventually you're not going to be able to"},{"startTime":767.87,"endTime":772.339,"body":"carry them 24 hours a day, but guess what,"},{"startTime":772.79,"endTime":777.079,"body":"that time when they're a little baby goes"},{"startTime":772.79,"endTime":777.079,"body":"away really quickly and you're not always"},{"startTime":777.079,"endTime":778.169,"body":"going to be able to carry them around."},{"startTime":778.169,"endTime":779.48,"body":"So enjoy it while you can."},{"startTime":779.89,"endTime":781.61,"body":"You really can't love"},{"startTime":779.89,"endTime":781.61,"body":"on your baby too much."},{"startTime":782.79,"endTime":787.219,"body":"19 babies only cry when they're hungry,"},{"startTime":782.79,"endTime":787.219,"body":"tired, and need to dive have changed."},{"startTime":788.349,"endTime":790.87,"body":"Whoever came up with this stupid"},{"startTime":788.349,"endTime":790.87,"body":"idea has never been a parent."},{"startTime":791.87,"endTime":793.19,"body":"This is not true."},{"startTime":793.66,"endTime":797.75,"body":"Your baby only has a handful of ways"},{"startTime":793.66,"endTime":797.75,"body":"to express a lot of new emotions and"},{"startTime":797.75,"endTime":802.519,"body":"feelings and things they're experiencing"},{"startTime":797.75,"endTime":802.519,"body":"for the first time ever, they can only"},{"startTime":802.519,"endTime":804.09,"body":"communicate so many ways of that size."},{"startTime":804.14,"endTime":804.86,"body":"That's the truth."},{"startTime":805.65,"endTime":809.36,"body":"They have limited ways to communicate"},{"startTime":805.65,"endTime":809.36,"body":"and they will cry for no reason at all."},{"startTime":809.36,"endTime":814.3,"body":"Sometimes other than they feel like"},{"startTime":809.36,"endTime":814.3,"body":"it are they're frustrated and they"},{"startTime":814.3,"endTime":815.52,"body":"don't know how to express that."},{"startTime":815.55,"endTime":817.99,"body":"Are they're experiencing something"},{"startTime":815.55,"endTime":817.99,"body":"that they can't tell you?"},{"startTime":819.81,"endTime":820.93,"body":"It's going to frustrate you."},{"startTime":821.56,"endTime":825.68,"body":"It's going to make you nuts, but it"},{"startTime":821.56,"endTime":825.68,"body":"doesn't mean you're doing something wrong."},{"startTime":825.99,"endTime":829.38,"body":"It's just one of the very limited ways"},{"startTime":825.99,"endTime":829.38,"body":"babies have to express themselves."},{"startTime":829.65,"endTime":831.549,"body":"And it's not necessarily"},{"startTime":829.65,"endTime":831.549,"body":"because you did something wrong."},{"startTime":831.77,"endTime":834.81,"body":"It's just because there's not another"},{"startTime":831.77,"endTime":834.81,"body":"way for them to express themselves."},{"startTime":835.93,"endTime":839.88,"body":"Number 20, your kid's fears are just"},{"startTime":835.93,"endTime":839.88,"body":"the stage they're going through."},{"startTime":841.2,"endTime":843.2,"body":"Most of us grow out of"},{"startTime":841.2,"endTime":843.2,"body":"our fears at some point."},{"startTime":843.885,"endTime":847.165,"body":"But the big mistake is being"},{"startTime":843.885,"endTime":847.165,"body":"dismissive of your kids."},{"startTime":847.175,"endTime":848.705,"body":"Feel fears and feelings."},{"startTime":849.165,"endTime":850.545,"body":"Notice I lump those two together."},{"startTime":850.545,"endTime":850.925,"body":"Why?"},{"startTime":850.935,"endTime":854.805,"body":"Cause fears are a portion"},{"startTime":850.935,"endTime":854.805,"body":"of feelings to them."},{"startTime":855.215,"endTime":858.495,"body":"What they're experiencing is as"},{"startTime":855.215,"endTime":858.495,"body":"real as whatever is stressing"},{"startTime":858.495,"endTime":859.635,"body":"you the hell out right now."},{"startTime":860.395,"endTime":862.685,"body":"Whatever's frustrating you,"},{"startTime":860.395,"endTime":862.685,"body":"whatever's stressing you."},{"startTime":863.77,"endTime":869.62,"body":"At their level, that fear is just"},{"startTime":863.77,"endTime":869.62,"body":"as real to them as what you're"},{"startTime":869.62,"endTime":871.39,"body":"experiencing that's causing you stress."},{"startTime":872.29,"endTime":875.849,"body":"Your job as a parent is to help"},{"startTime":872.29,"endTime":875.849,"body":"them learn what is real, what is a"},{"startTime":875.849,"endTime":877.989,"body":"threat, what can and cannot hurt them."},{"startTime":878.329,"endTime":884.28,"body":"And if you shut them down on these things,"},{"startTime":878.329,"endTime":884.28,"body":"if you don't validate their feelings and"},{"startTime":884.28,"endTime":889.0,"body":"help them learn to deal with them, help"},{"startTime":884.28,"endTime":889.0,"body":"them address those fears, then they will"},{"startTime":889.04,"endTime":892.129,"body":"cut you off for far more important issues."},{"startTime":892.385,"endTime":899.375,"body":"Later down the road, guys, 20"},{"startTime":892.385,"endTime":899.375,"body":"common myths dealt with boom, done."},{"startTime":900.095,"endTime":904.085,"body":"I have episodes that go way deeper on"},{"startTime":900.095,"endTime":904.085,"body":"some of these specific issues that I"},{"startTime":904.085,"endTime":909.595,"body":"felt like we, we need a little more depth"},{"startTime":904.085,"endTime":909.595,"body":"in I'll link some of the description"},{"startTime":909.595,"endTime":911.924,"body":"or in the show notes, depending on"},{"startTime":909.595,"endTime":911.924,"body":"what platform you're with us on."},{"startTime":912.354,"endTime":913.364,"body":"If you want to go deeper."},{"startTime":913.364,"endTime":915.254,"body":"So check out those episodes next."},{"startTime":915.645,"endTime":919.194,"body":"This is just a quick reference cheat"},{"startTime":915.645,"endTime":919.194,"body":"sheet version for you guys, because"},{"startTime":919.194,"endTime":920.914,"body":"dad, you've got a lot on your plate."},{"startTime":921.434,"endTime":924.505,"body":"If you're going to be a dad, if you're"},{"startTime":921.434,"endTime":924.505,"body":"about to be a dad, he just became a dad."},{"startTime":924.814,"endTime":926.675,"body":"I know there's a lot on"},{"startTime":924.814,"endTime":926.675,"body":"your plate right now."},{"startTime":926.675,"endTime":928.405,"body":"So this is your quick reference guide."},{"startTime":928.904,"endTime":929.804,"body":"I hope this helps."},{"startTime":929.804,"endTime":930.814,"body":"You're going to crush it."},{"startTime":930.824,"endTime":933.974,"body":"I guarantee it just because you're here."},{"startTime":934.145,"endTime":936.734,"body":"I know you're trying to be a great dad,"},{"startTime":934.145,"endTime":936.734,"body":"which means you're going to be a great"},{"startTime":936.744,"endTime":940.234,"body":"dad, share it with a friend who needs"},{"startTime":936.744,"endTime":940.234,"body":"some of these questions answered and be"},{"startTime":940.234,"endTime":941.855,"body":"better tomorrow because what you do today."},{"startTime":942.069,"endTime":942.95,"body":"We'll see you on the next one."},{"startTime":944.75,"endTime":947.32,"body":"This has been the Fallible Man podcast."},{"startTime":947.89,"endTime":951.31,"body":"Your home for everything"},{"startTime":947.89,"endTime":951.31,"body":"man, husband, and father."},{"startTime":952.03,"endTime":954.52,"body":"Be sure to subscribe so"},{"startTime":952.03,"endTime":954.52,"body":"you don't miss a show."},{"startTime":955.22,"endTime":957.07,"body":"Head over to www."},{"startTime":958.709,"endTime":958.899,"body":"thefallibleman."},{"startTime":958.91,"endTime":963.01,"body":"com for more content and get"},{"startTime":958.91,"endTime":963.01,"body":"your own Fallible Man gear."}]}