Why You Should Have Your Neighbors Over This Week -- Rural Reset 19/21 [21]

Host: TJ Freeman

Summary: In this episode of Back to Rurality, TJ Freeman, a rural pastor, delves into the common anxieties of showing hospitality, particularly in small towns. Through scriptural insights and practical advice, TJ encourages Christians to see hospitality not as an obligation, but as an opportunity to live out their faith, break down barriers, and experience joy.

Key Points:

• What If My House Isn't Clean? Hospitality isn't about showing off, instead it is actually about living out your faith in a way that breaks down some barriers and reflects God's grace to those around you. 
• Isn't It My Home? Everything we have is a gift from God! Our home, our resources, our personalities and even our time. We invest what God has given to us for kingdom purposes.

Listener Takeaways:

• Think of one person, or family, that you could get together with this week. It could be a neighbor, a peer, a coworker, or a fellow church member! 
• Be creative with your hospitality. You can meet with people in a park, a coffee, shop, or have people over for a game night.
  
  

Connect with Us:

• Website: backtorurality.com
• Social Media: Facebook

Transcript

You know you need to do it, but there's a thousand reasons not to. You think about it every now and then, and you feel guilty, but you keep putting it off. What is it? Having the neighbors over for dinner or just showing hospitality in general.

Do you ever feel like showing hospitality is just one more thing to pile on to your Already super long list of things that you know, you're supposed to be doing. You've got work stuff, kids, stuff, house to keep up. How could you possibly find time to have people over? 

And, you know, living in a small town makes this especially tough because the pool of people to have over as small and people have reputations. Your neighbors might be like the Hatfields and you're a McCoy or it could be that they live in a Kind of sketchy little spot that you're uncomfortable allowing your kids to go near and you're afraid what showing them hospitality might do What if they just start dropping over whenever they feel like because you showed them a little hospitality It's risky having people over in a small town.

 But what if hospitality is about more than trying to fit other people into your life about having the perfectly clean house, about finding the free weekend.

What if it goes beyond our busy schedules and the surface level kind of discomfort we might feel? What if hospitality is about actually living out your faith in a way that breaks down some barriers that reflects God's grace to those around you and actually has the wonderful side effect of filling you with joy?

Even as you sacrifice some of your time. Today, we're going to see how hospitality can be much more than just an obligation that you feel guilty about and really demonstrate how it can be an opportunity for real and lasting kingdom. Well, hello. My name is TJ Freeman and yes, like you, I live in the middle of nowhere.

I'm a rural pastor and I've really come to enjoy it. But I also recognize that living in the middle of nowhere comes with some unique challenges. That's what this podcast is all about. Getting some resources to help people like us who live way out here, think more carefully about what it means to follow the Lord in the middle of nowhere.

And today we're talking about the challenge that is demonstrating hospitality.

So we're just going to dive right into the word of God together and see what both the Old Testament and New Testament have to say about this concept of showing hospitality to others. 

I'm just gonna walk through a couple of passages of scripture that talk about hospitality. Here's one. Hebrews 13. Two, do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers. For thereby, some have entertained angels unawares. If you wanted to know more about that, you could go back and read Genesis 18. And see the amazing hospitality that Abraham showed to three men who just happened to be angels.

But you're not doing it hoping that like, Hey, maybe this dude I had over is an angel. So I'm going to be especially nice to him. No. In first Peter four, We see Peter commanding , the church show hospitality to one another without grumbling. So notice what's baked into that, the human tendency to grumble about having to have people over about having to show hospitality, about having to sacrifice your time to be a blessing to someone else.

In Romans 12, 13, Paul talks about it. He says, contribute to the, Needs of the Saints and seek to show hospitality in Titus 1 when Paul's talking to Titus He reminds him to be hospitable to be a lover of good self controlled upright holy and disciplined This is not just a New Testament Concept though listen to this all the way back in the law in Leviticus 19 It says you shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you with the same As the native among you you shall love him as yourself for you were strangers in the land of egypt I am the lord your god.

The bible is full of commands like this and principles that flow out of this command Demonstrating that christians are meant to be a people who show love to others by sacrificing their own time and their own stuff To care for someone else. That's all that hospitality is you are sacrificing some of your time You Some of your stuff to be a blessing to other people around you and recognizing that all that we have actually comes from the Lord anyway.

Even our time, that's a gift from God. All of our finances, all of our resources, even all of our talents, our personalities, that all comes from God. And we don't possess that stuff. We're stewards of that stuff. We invest what God has given to us for kingdom purposes.

We're wanting to use our time, our talents, and our resources to be a blessing so that people see the greater blessing, which is the God who gave us all of these things to begin with. It's God who provides for us. It's God who provides for everyone. And he uses, in particular, Christians to be a blessing in part by showing hospitality.

Hospitality is just a stewardship issue, but it's not an easy one. And I think some of the greatest challenges today have to do with the way That society is teaching us to think about our time. We have very little time, and we squeeze all kinds of stuff into it.

But listen, I know how hard hospitality is. I have four small children. Actually, if they heard this, they'd say, dad, we're not that small anymore. And they'd have a little bit of a point. But in my mind, there's still small children, four kids at home and there are sports and there are youth groups and there are all kinds of things.

Plus there's a lot going on in the life of our church. We had a big church picnic yesterday. Yep. That's right. It took up my entire Sunday afternoon nap time. Unbelievable. We have so many things going on in the life of our family, in the life of our church. Then we try to do some stuff to be involved in the community.

It's just not much margin left over. Once you get done with all of that stuff and the world's not slowing down. It's getting busier and busier and busier. And then I mentioned at the beginning, some of the challenges, like what about finding time to get your house in order so that it's clean for guests to be able to come over?

What about having the resources to be able to buy extra food? What about just finding a night open where you can do it? And then some of the ramifications. What if your neighbors get a little too friendly? You know, you have them over for dinner and at 10 o'clock, you're finally having to say, guys, I got to put my kids to bed.

They could overstay their welcome. What if they're just not that fun to be around? They're hard people to talk to. What if you just don't click? I mean, there's so many reasons that showing hospitality is hard, which is why I wanted to start with scripture. And say, hey, listen, the Bible calls us to do this.

So here's what I want to say to you, dear Christian brother or sister. Hospitality is not a negotiable. And that's kind of where we put it. We put it in that category of things that we'll get to when we have a little more margin in our lives. Because they're not as spiritually important. It doesn't feel as spiritually important to have someone over as it does to read your Bible.

It doesn't feel as spiritually important to have someone over as it does to go to church. We're making these choices and we relegate things like, like witnessing or sharing the gospel or having people over into our homes. Or finding ways to be more generous. These are some of the things that we go, that's like second tier Christianity.

I'm just working on the basics right now, but notice I put this very topic into the rural reset series, because I think it's part of the basics. I think that this is just basic Christianity one on one and the case of scripture makes that clear.

It's not just my idea or my thought. This is just what the Bible teaches us. So here's what we have to do is reprioritize hospitality and recognize that although it comes with great sacrifice, it actually has a lot of blessings as well. You'll find that hospitality fills you with a kind of joy. That's not connected to whatever your guests give you.

It's connected to knowing that you're doing something that honors the Lord. Amen. That follows in the footsteps of Christ and the Holy Spirit fills you with his fruit, which includes love, joy, peace, etc. In part, as you walk in obedience to his word. And so you're going to find that you have more joy doing something that costs you than if you just keep kicking the can down the road and not showing hospitality.

You're going to find too that you get into conversations with your neighbors. That you wouldn't have had any other way. You have opportunities spiritually to invest in them in ways that you don't get to do just over the fence in the backyard, or as you wave to each other, going down the road. Having people over lowers barriers.

It builds trust and it allows for spiritual conversations so that you can point them to Jesus, which is what you're really meant to do. You'll find that having a welcoming heart leaves a real impression on your neighbors. You'll find that they don't care. If your house is cleaned up perfectly or not. I mean, they may notice those things, but that's not what leaves the lasting impression.

It's the kind of love that you showed them anyway. And guess what? Their house probably messy too. So they understand where you're coming from. 

You'll also find that if you have kids in your home, showing hospitality makes a statement to them as well. It teaches them that it's not all about us. It's about serving other people. They get to watch you loving others, knowing full well, the sacrifice that it is for you. And maybe they don't even notice it right now, but as they think back, On their childhood when they get older, they'll recognize the sacrifice that you made, and, with God's help, They'll begin to put that into place in their own lives as well. So you've seen from the bible some reasons to show hospitality You've seen that it's really not optional It's something you need to do and you've also seen that it's actually a blessing for you Anyway, it might not feel like it at the moment, but it it really becomes something that stretches you and develops you and fills you You With a kind of joy that you wouldn't expect by having to make such a sacrifice, but there's still some barriers to overcome.

Let's just talk about a couple of those. Let's say you don't really like your neighbors. I think you'll find that having them in the home endears them to you even more. You're sacrificing for the good of someone else, which will lower some of those feelings of discomfort. Or not clicking well together as you just decide i'm going to be a blessing to them no matter what I think you'll find that you have more in common than you think and if not you just trust the lord with that And go, you know, i'm not very lovely and the lord has shown me so much grace and kindness and hospitality Anyway, so i'm going to do this for the glory of god and you'll find the joy in that.

Maybe you're worried that You know, when you have your neighbors over, the conversation is going to turn toward gossip, especially living in a small town. There's not that much to talk about. Listen, the Holy Spirit will give you grace in the moment to be able to get through those conversations. And here's what will happen.

People will notice the way you avoid that. And then that you are loving and kind and gracious, and you will rub off on them as iron sharpens iron. So one man sharpens another, you have an opportunity to sharpen your neighbors and help. The kind of talk that would be ungodly to be minimized in your neighborhood because you're there.

Maybe you feel like Your house isn't big enough. It's not nice enough or it's not clean enough. I just want to say hospitality is not only shown in the home. You can take someone out and buy him a cup of coffee that costs you almost nothing, but time. It gets out of your house into a more common area.

So yeah, being out and about in the community is a way actually to be a blessing within the community and to your neighbor at the same time. Here's the big one though. Busyness,

man. It's tough to overcome a busy schedule. Here's something you might try. Invite people into things you're already doing. Maybe you've got some chores to do around your house. And you just call up a neighbor and say, Hey, listen, I'm putting in fence posts today. Would you mind coming over and helping?

Which feels like you're trying to get hospitality out of them. And maybe to some degree their presence there is helping you, but while they're there, serve them really well, make sure you're giving them good refreshments that you're not making the conversation about you, but you're asking them lots of questions about themselves, trying to encourage them that way.

So it doesn't just have to be, Hey, come on over for a meal. It can be, Hey. Take a ride with me on the tractor today. Hey, I'm going to be hunting. Let's hunt together and we'll ride in the truck together. Hey, I got to run to Lowe's. You got 30 minutes. Could you run to Lowe's with me? There are ways that you can try to squeeze this in.

Invite people to your kids, sport stuff, say to your neighbors, Hey, my daughter's got a game tomorrow. I'd love to have you come as our guest and bring them a chair, bring them drinks, make it a really enjoyable experience. Even buy them one of those little plastic containers of nachos. I'm not saying that's the best thing for their health, but it might go a long way in your relationship.

Maybe. You also struggle with something that I do, and that is intro version. You're introverted. You're shy. I deal with that every single day. And it's not easy and I don't do it perfectly, but you know what you can do to overcome that first, pray a lot, get some good rest before you go into that. Because that's the thing with introversion.

It's not that you don't like people that you don't want to be around them. It's just that it feels especially exhausting to host someone in your home or spend time talking to other people. That's okay. Get your rest before and plan for some rest after. It's fine to feel like that push through those feelings because The Bible calls us to, and Jesus is worthy of our obedience to something like that because he's been so kind to us.

You might also consider have two couples over. So rather than it be a one on one thing where you're just sitting face to face, trying to keep the conversation going, maybe have two sets of people over somebody from your church and somebody from your community and let them get to know each other. And you're just kind of.

Helping foster that relationship. Or maybe you, instead of just sitting at the dinner table the whole time, maybe you have an activity like a game, you have them over for a game night that really takes the edge off, or maybe you have them over to teach you something that they know how to do, or, you know, You're just going to go do some project together.

Shoulder time is often easier than FaceTime. If you're introverted, find ways to show hospitality either way. Well, here's the recap. Whether you're sharing a meal, giving someone a cup of coffee, just opening up your life to them, you need to remember that hospitality is biblically commanded. It is good for you.

You'll actually benefit from it. And it's a wonderful way to serve others as Christ has served you. And it's really not about the perfect environment. It's about making connections with people and showing them the love of Christ. using the means that God has given you or the resources God has given you.

So here's my challenge. Think of one person or a family that you could reach out to this week. Maybe you're in college and this is somebody down your hall. Maybe you're a high school student and you see a kid sitting by themselves at lunch. Maybe it's your neighbors. Maybe it's a coworker, just someone from the community.

Reach out to them this week and see if you can do something to be a blessing to them. Have him over, sit with him at lunch, buddy up with him on the sports team, ask him to go hunting with you. Whatever, find some way. And I would love to hear about it. So here's the second part of my challenge.

Would you tell me about it? You can send me a message through our Facebook page. So if you just go to facebook. com slash back to morality, we can chat there. I would just love to hear how the Lord uses this in your life. And I'll tell you a story. There's a guy from our church, a young man. Who was away for the summer.

And he shared with me that he listened to back to Rurality while he's away. And he told me some of the ways that it encouraged him. And it just blessed me so much to hear that. I would love to hear if there are some ways that you're putting some of the things that we're talking about into practice, just drop me a line right over there on the Facebooks.

You can also go to back to Rurality. com. So this has been a part of the Rural Reset series. Just 21 episodes getting back to the basics of our faith so that you have kind of a spiritual baseline to work from That will help propel you or give you good footing as you go on and try to make Christ known in the middle of nowhere There's not many people out there But you're there and God's got you there for a reason to make him known even in the middle of nowhere for now, though How about we get back to life back to rurality.