How to Handle People Who Get Under Your Skin [38]

Host: TJ Freeman

Summary: In this episode of Back to Rurality, TJ Freeman, a rural pastor, discusses how to deal with people who drive you crazy. TJ emphasizes the importance of recognizing that everyone is made in God's image. He explains that as Christians, we should show mercy, grace, and love to those who frustrate us, reflecting God's nature in our interactions. TJ draws on the Book of Genesis and personal insights to encourage viewers to see challenging individuals as image bearers of God, and to seek reconciliation and kindness, especially in small-town settings.

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• Website: backtorurality.com
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• Email: tj@brainerdinstitute.com

Transcript

Who are the people in your life that drive you crazy? Oh, come on. I know you've got 'em. The people that just make you kind of go, ugh, on the inside. Sometimes those people are just kind of annoying. Other times they really impact your life in a way that you wish you could change. What do you do with the people in your life who drive you crazy?

Stay tuned 'cause that's what we're talking about on this episode of Back to Rurality.

Well, hello, my name is TJ Freeman and I'm a rural pastor. That means that just like you, I live in the middle of nowhere, which eh, is fine. In fact, it serves a pretty good purpose for the glory of God, and I'm kind of glad that I've been put out to pasture in a place that a lot of people don't want to live.

It's funny, 80% of the US population lives in bigger places. They're all crammed into 3% of the land mass. When rural people like us, just 20% of the people, get this spread out over 97% of America's land mass. That's pretty good. I don't mind stretching out in my backyard a little bit, especially when it gets me away from those people that drive me crazy.

You know, there are always gonna be people in our lives who challenge us. Who don't think the way we think and sometimes might even get under your skin. Sometimes you have to put up with people who have really hurt you and cause problems in your life that are real and that you can't just escape. And it can be a hard thing as a Christian, especially living in the middle of nowhere to maintain good relationships and good thoughts about people who have been a source of frustration or even pain in your life.

And I just wanted to talk today about one way that you can grow through that. So you can't just eliminate the people in your life who bother you, but boy, wouldn't that be nice? You can't pray that the Lord will take 'em out by a lightning bolt or that you'll never have to run into them in Walmart again, or that you won't have to park next to them at the Dollar General or whatever. You're gonna see 'em. You're gonna have to deal with them, which means you need to learn to think about them rightly. And here's the best way I can think to do that. It goes all the way back to the Book of Genesis.

You ever read Genesis chapter one? You know, start the very beginning. The very best place to start. In Genesis chapter one, verses 26 to 28 we learned that mankind is made in God's image, after his likeness, and that's as far as we need to go. That means that that person that gets under your skin, who annoys you, who's hurt you or whatever. Before, they are a person that bothers you, they are a person made in the image of God. And being made in the image of God comes with a certain level of dignity that is owed, not because we think that they seem worth it. But because of who they are, because of the role that God has chosen for mankind to play in creation and because God chose to make that person and to put that person in your life, that person is not just a problem.

That person is an image bearer and so are you. And that means that the things that you are meant to show that person are not frustration or disdain or defense of yourself. You know what you're meant to show them? You're meant to show them the Lord. You are an image bearer representing God to that other person, and think about the way that God treated you when you kinda got under his skin.

The things that you've done are bad enough that it required Christ to die on the cross for you to be forgiven. You've opposed God, maybe not thinking that that's what you're doing, but by your very actions, it really is what you were doing. And God didn't just turn his back on you or avoid you. He pursued you.

And he made himself known to you through his image, his son, the exact representation of God. He sent his son to you so that you could be set free by knowing the truth about who God is, who you are, and what you needed to do to be saved. You have an opportunity to represent God to the person that's bothered you.

They haven't sinned against you to the degree that you have sinned against God. And if God showed has shown you mercy, how much more should you show them? Mercy. And when you do that in a small town, it stands out. That is not the normal behavior. Rednecks don't get mad. Rednecks get even. I don't know if you're a redneck or not, but you do know what it's like to see one get angry and get revenge.

That is not the kind of person we want to be. You've also watched as relationships have drifted because people have just stopped talking to each other. Happens all the time. When you show the image of God to someone else, you show God's characteristics and his nature to them, and you pursue them. You love them.

You show them mercy and grace and point them to their need of a savior who would save their souls just as he saved yours, and maybe this person is another Christian. All the more reason to reconcile, if you were to go like to the book of Philippians, for example, you'd see plenty of instruction there about how to think about and relate to people that you don't agree with naturally, people who have gotten under your skin. 

So today, think about the fact that you're an image bearer and the people in your life, all of them, a hundred percent of the humans you've ever bumped into, they're image bearers too. They're owed a certain kind of dignity because they're made in God's image.

And God has sent you to represent himself to them. So don't let that person bother you. Pray for them. Be a blessing to them and love them as Christ has loved you. This is what it means to be a Christian, even a Christian who lives in the middle of nowhere. I hope that's been helpful for now, let's get back to life and back to Rurality.