When Kindness Fails [52]

Host: TJ Freeman

Summary: In this episode of Back to Rurality, Pastor TJ Freeman explores the significance of kindness as a representation of God's character. He shares stories about the challenges of being consistently kind and emphasizes that Christians, especially in small towns, are called to reflect God's kindness in their daily interactions. TJ discusses biblical principles that advocate for kindness, such as overcoming evil with good and being tenderhearted. He also encourages listeners to seek support from their local Christian communities and consider establishing or strengthening church presence in their area to further display the gospel through kindness.

Connect with Us:

• Website: backtorurality.com
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• Email: tj@brainerdinstitute.com

Transcript

It's not always easy to be kind, is it? I wish I could tell you I am kind to everyone all the time, but I have my moments and you do too. What do we do to make sure we're not telling lies about God by the way we treat other people? Stay tuned to this episode. Let's get back to Rurality. Well, thank you for joining us for another edition of Back to Rurality.

My name is TJ Freeman. I am one of the pastors at a church called Christ Church in a little remote town in rural Pennsylvania. So like you, I understand what it's like to live in the middle of nowhere, and I know how sometimes it can be tempting to be unkind to other people. Generally, I feel like this isn't something I struggle with because, you know, I try to smile at people when I go by them in public.

I go outta my way as often as I can to be an encouragement or a blessing. I mean, I'm making actual efforts to do those things. And if I just were asked the question, are you, would you generally consider yourself to be kind or unkind? I would say, well, I'm, I'm attempting to be a kind person. That's, that's how I try to live my life.

But there's sometimes I'm not very kind. And this matters, especially in a small town. Think about it this way. You might be the only believer for miles and you're not just there to have a nice, happy, sweet little life, you know, make some money, retire, and die. You're there to represent the God who made you and as a redeemed person or as a Christian.

If I'm to say it in a way that's a little less weird sounding, as a Christian, who is redeemed, by the blood of Christ, you now exist not for your own pleasure. Not for the pattern of this world. Those things that Ephesians two said, you used to live for. Now you exist as God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that he prepared beforehand that you should walk in them.

He wants to use your redeemed life as a billboard to tell other people what he's like. So your kindness really matters. And so let's think through some times where we might not be as kind as we wish we were. Here's one for me. I'm driving to a meeting at the church and I'm a little bit behind. My fault, but I don't naturally like to think of it as my own fault.

I've got a thousand things I could blame it on. And I'm driving up the main street in town. And out pulls Grandma Piggly Wiggly, and she's going two miles an hour. She almost made me run into her, and I'm just, ugh. And for a, a little bit, maybe just a quarter of a mile, I just stay a little extra close to her bumper because there's something in me that innately wants her to know You have inconvenienced me and it's just not kind.

Sometimes I know that I roll my eyes when people say things. Maybe even in a situation like getting pulled out in front of in traffic, I might not ride the bumper, but in my heart, I'm giving 'em the what for. You may have times where you're, you're out in a public situation and you see somebody do something that you don't like and you respond in a way that just isn't kind.

Maybe you have no problem in traffic, but there's some situation line at the grocery store, line for a bathroom, standing at the county fair, and somebody's acting all crazy. I mean, there's just all kinds of situations that you need to just think through in your life and go, am I operating at Max Kindness or is there a little room for improvement on that one?

How about when it comes to your family? Oof. Why is it that we feel like in our families we have a little bit more freedom to be less careful? Your spouse says something or does something that disappoints you, frustrates you, irks you, gets on your last nerve, whatever. It feels sometimes like kindness isn't as necessary behind closed doors.

How about when your kids do the opposite of what it is you've told them 10 million times to do? How do you treat them in that moment, even if you have to exercise discipline. Are you able to do that as a kind and loving parent, or are you getting vengeance against them for not respecting your author?

Think about times where that person in the church, or that person that you work with, or that person in town just kind of annoys you, and grates at you and gets on your last nerve, maybe they're even kind of out to get you that person at work who stole the promotion you deserve, even though you worked 10 times harder, but they just kissed up better.

That person who has an annoying habit and you're trying to get work done and they're sitting in the next office drumming on the wall all day long. You can draw your own conclusions here about who are the people in your life that you're a little bit tempted to be like, man, because this person is so annoying, or I'm around them so often.

I don't feel like I have to be as careful with my kindness. There are so many situations. If you start getting into the weeds of your life a little bit where you can go, you know what? I definitely need to be working on this and lemme just tell you why you need to work on it. We've already mentioned that you're meant to be an illustration of God's character.

God is abundantly kind and patient. I know there's wrath and justice and all those things, but what does God say about that? Vengeance is mind, says the Lord. That's not the side of his character. He's calling you to show. He wants you to show his kindness, and the Bible makes us clear over and over again.

I'm bringing it up because I've been talking about the fruit of the spirit and love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. Kindness, tips the scale on today's episode, but there are other places in scripture, scripture where you can find a need to be kind. Romans 12 kind of talked about this a little bit, verses 17 to 21.

Talk about not repaying evil for evil, but overcoming evil with good. We can see the way that kindness actually stops, bad things that are happening. Think about that. The Lord wants your kindness to be used to overcome evil. Really good reason to be kind. Another one coming from Ephesians 4 31 and 32 talks about not being bitter, but instead being kind, um, tender hearted toward one another.

That's a big one. We could spend a lot of time talking about that, but lemme just say it this way. Is there anyone who comes to mind when I ask you the question? Are you tenderhearted with everyone in your life? So there's somebody that comes to your mind and you're like, maybe I'm not necessarily tenderhearted with Bill, the drumming office mate.

Or Susie, the child who is so stubborn, or my spouse, who for 15 years had been le been leaving their socks on the floor. Maybe I'm not so tenderhearted and just ask God that he would tenderize your heart toward all people. And the best way to do that is think about the way that the Lord has treated you.

He's been very tender with you, hasn't he? And you haven't always been, you know, a spiritual giant, Jesus has always been tender with you. How much more should you be tender with the people in your life? Galatians six, nine encourages us not to grow weary in doing good. So there shouldn't be a point where some person just wears us out of our kindness.

Other passages like Matthew five talk about the importance of showing light and our kindness is part of the way that our light is displayed, which is so important. Colossians three talks about things that you need to put on compassion, patience, being kind to other people is like, it's like putting on a piece of clothing.

I decided I'm gonna wear this today, and I hope it makes Christ look more evident and attractive to the peoplein my life. Kindness is a biblical principle that actually does work through you in the lives of others. It does work in you as you put others ahead of yourself for your own sanctification and get this, you are going to have a more lovely experience walking through life if you'll choose kindness instead of the opposite.

Being mean, being wrathful, being snippy, being depressive or depressed. Being always frustrated. Those things are not gonna make you feel better or be better. But if you start thinking about how can I be more kind, that is gonna light your light up with up with joy and you're not doing it for some kind of physical result, you know, some benefit to you directly, although it is gonna benefit you directly.

So there you are in your little rural town thinking about, am I as kind as I need to be? Just pray and ask the Lord to help you with your kindness as a demonstration of the gospel. Now, you're gonna need other Christians in your life to help you with this. Who do you have in your life? Maybe you have a little small group of Christians that you can rely on in your community.

Maybe you're one of the rural people who are blessed to have a healthy church in your hometown, lean into that. If you don't, you might even be part of the solution to that. Maybe you have an opportunity in your community, not just to be kind, but to call some other Christians together and start praying about what would it look like for us to demonstrate the gospel in this community, not just by being nice, but by having some.

Some representation of the church here in our community. Love to talk to you about that. If you have questions, if there's any way we can help serve or encourage you along the way, we would love to do that. We have a growing list of resources over at the Brainerd Institute website. Head on over to brainerd institute.com for more.

If you are in a place where there's an equipped group, we'd love to have you. Hook up with, with us there. Looking at ways we can get more conferences out in a broader area to help serve some of you who might be interested in coming, but going to Pennsylvania is prohibitive. We also are looking for just connections as we get to know other rural pockets of the country.

So if you live in a rural place that is not Pennsylvania. Man, I would love just to have a quick conversation with you on the phone about your area, how we can be praying and about ways we might even work together for the sake of the gospel. We really wanna see a healthy church in every rural town in America that's gonna take all of us working together.

So if you're interested in that, just email me, tj@christchurchlife.com. I would love to talk to you. Well, thanks for listening. I hope that you walk away from this conversation at least thinking about what it means for you to represent Christ by being as kind to others as he has been to you. For now though, let's get back to life.

Back to rurality.