Going No Contact After a Divorce or Breakup

One of the best things you can do for your mental health in the wake of a divorce or breakup is to go no contact.  However, if you have children it can be almost impossible to truly go no contact.  What do you do then?  You go Gray Rock.  What is Gray Rock?  It's a form of communicating with your ex that is devoid of emotion.  Let's talk about why it's imperative to go no contact and the details of what Gray Rock means.

Transcript:

Hello, my name is Tiffany, and welcome to the podcast Working on Amazing.

This is a podcast where we talk about the work that it takes to rebuild an amazing life.

And I use that word rebuild because we are specifically designed for women who feel like they're starting over in the middle of their life.

So many different scenarios could lead you to the point where it feels like you're starting over.

For me, it was divorce after 20 years, but I see that there are many things that can lead you to that point.

I think the biggest common denominator is when all your hopes and dreams for the future have gone up in smoke.

Like the way you thought your life was going has totally changed.

And what you thought was going to be no longer is.

And you have to regroup.

And it kind of feels like you're starting over.

If that's you, I want to say I'm sorry, truly from the bottom of my heart.

I've been there.

It does not feel good.

But I also want to say there's hope.

It gets so, so, so much better.

I promise you it does.

You are not alone.

You're actually in the right place.

Welcome.

I'm so glad that you're here.

So let's get down to today's episode.

Today, we're going to talk about mental health.

Now, if you remember in the beginning, I said I focused on five areas when I rebuilt my life.

I focused on my spiritual health, my mental health, my physical health, my financial health, and growth and goals.

So today is going to fall under the umbrella of mental health.

And it's a little bit of a narrow audience topic.

So up front, this topic is if you are going through a divorce or a breakup after a long relationship, but it's a breakup.

I want to talk about going no contact with your ex.

All right?

So you may be in a situation where you feel like you're starting over, but that doesn't apply.

And I understand.

But if you're going through a divorce or a breakup after a really long time, I think it's imperative that we talk about going no contact.

Why do you want to go no contact?

Why am I encouraging this?

What benefits are there to go in no contact?

And then the other question I want to address is, how do you go no contact if you have to communicate with your ex?

If you have children together or you're still trying to sell a jointly owned property together, the division of assets after a break up or divorce, you still have to communicate sometimes.

So how do you do that in a way that is healthy?

You know what I'm saying?

Like I want to go no contact, but we still have to communicate.

So let's talk about that, okay?

First of all, why go no contact?

A lot of people will tell you that you need to communicate with your ex, and you'll need to have a good, amicable relationship and do things together, that that is what is healthiest for the children.

And I think a lot of these people haven't been in your situation.

I know the people who told me that hadn't been in my situation and had no idea.

So you will get advice from people like that, who tell you, no, y'all need to be, do things together, have a family dinner every so often.

That's important.

No, don't listen to people who haven't been where yo