How to Solve 80% of Your Problems

Want to solve 80% of your problems? You might not like the answer. It's self discipline. That's right, 80% of your problems can be solved with self discipline. It's an answer that's both impowering and intimidating. It's impowering because I have ownership and control over the majority of my life. But it's intimidating for the exact same reason. Let's talk about taking ownership back and being women that are self disciplined. 

Transcript

Hello, my name is Tiffany, and welcome to the podcast Working on Amazing. This is a podcast where we talk about the work that it takes to rebuild an amazing life.

And I'm using that word rebuild because we're specifically designed for women who feel like they're starting over in the middle of their life. Now, a few things can lead you to that point.

For me, it was divorce after a 20 year marriage for my sister, it was the death of our spouse. All I know is the commonality is when all your hopes and all your dreams for the future have totally gone up in smoke.

And what the reality of your life looks like is completely different than what you had envisioned. And it really does. It feels like you have to start over, and that is an overwhelming feeling.

It is an itchy feeling. There are a lot of emotions wrapped up in that. But I'm here to tell you, it gets better.

You can rebuild a life that is amazing, that won't fall apart on you, that is solid, that has a good foundation. So that's what we're here to talk about. You, I promise, are not alone.

You're actually in the right place. So welcome. I'm so glad that you're here.

So let's get down to today's episode. And if you'll remember in the beginning, I said I focused on five areas when I rebuilt my life.

I focused on my spiritual health, my mental health, my physical health, my financial health, and then growth and goals. So today's episode, I believe if it had to fall under one of those categories, it would maybe fall under growth and goals.

This is a growth topic to me. And it's, what we're going to talk about is this saying, this phrase, and it just struck such a chord with me, and I really wanted to share it with you. And it says that self-discipline solves 80% of your problems.

And that struck me as so true and such a helpful thing.

Sometimes when we are going through a major change, and a major transition in life, it feels like everything is happening to us, and we have so little autonomy and control over all the negativity that is going on in our life.

Like major, major things have happened, and it can easily feel overwhelming because it feels like we're out of control. It feels like things are happening beyond our control. And we didn't get to say so in some of the worst things that are happening.

I know what that's like, I relate. But this concept that 80% of your problems can be solved by you, by self-discipline, that puts the responsibility back on ourselves, right? So yes, there are some things that we cannot control.

But as we're rebuilding our life, I think it's super important to take the responsibility back. And quit giving the responsibility to somebody else. My life fell apart because of you.

You've ruined my life. No, I'm taking responsibility. I believe my self-discipline can solve the majority of my problems.

Okay, so let's break it down a little bit, and look at what that means. My mental health, 80% of my problems, maybe, let's use maybe mental health as an example. Being self-discipline.

Self-discipline in practicing healthy mental health habits.

Healthy mental health habits.

I don't know if that's a great phrase, but are we self-disciplined in practicing gratitude? Are we self-disciplined in daily affirmations? Are we self-disciplined in the things that we know support good mental health?

Sometimes just cleaning up your environment, the place you live, doing the dishes, making sure that it's neat and tidy. That has a huge effect on your mental health. Being self-disciplined really, really makes a difference in your mental health.

So, yeah, there are some things you can't control. Maybe you have ADHD. Maybe there are some things that truly are definitely beyond your control.

But let's focus on what we can control and take responsibility back. Let's take ownership back and say, you know what? I can control the majority of this, 80%.

And I know it's just a phrase, and it's not an exact science. I guess you can't break it down 100%. Which problems can be solved by self-discipline?

But if you were self-disciplined in gratitude, would it make a difference? If you were self-disciplined in having a clutter-free space, would that make a difference?

If you were self-disciplined in daily affirmations, would that make a difference in your mental health? I think it would, and you're right. There are things that are beyond our control.

The person you are in a relationship did something that you did not see coming, and that throws you for a loop. I get it. There are things beyond our control, but let's take ownership of what's in our control and work on self-discipline.

So like with mental health, what about physical health? Well, this one's really obvious, right?

So if you go to the gym every day, if you work out, if you exercise, some of your health problems, some of when you look at yourself in the mirror and maybe think, I don't love this or that, could self-discipline have an effect on that? You tell me.

I understand that you can still have health issues. They go into the gym, really isn't going to fix. I know a lot of it is genetics, but let's take ownership of what we can.

And instead of blaming things on things out of our control, let's take ownership of what we can control. I can cut my hair. I can color it.

I can change it. I can work on my skincare routine and be self-disciplined with that. I can work on learning new styles.

I can find what fits my body best. I can do this and be self-disciplined with my diet and my exercise. And if I'm self-disciplined with my diet and my exercise, will I see change?

I think over time, the answer is yes.

Yes, you will.

The same is true, like in the area of our finances. If you're self-disciplined with your finances, it's going to solve a huge chunk of your money problems. Yes, something can come up beyond your control.

If your car breaks down unexpectedly, you couldn't help that. But if you're self-disciplined with your finances, then you have money and savings to fix it. And it's a setback, but it doesn't derail you.

It's an inconvenience, but it doesn't totally get you off track. We are self-disciplined. So much in our life can change.

It takes time. It's not the flip of a switch. It takes little things repeatedly over and over and over, doing that.

I'm gonna save this bit of money again and again and again. I'm gonna tell myself no about getting that fancy coffee today, and I'm gonna do that, not just once, because yeah, you're right, $5, $10.

Once isn't gonna make the biggest difference, but it's those repeated habits. It's that self-discipline over and over and over again that lead to big results, right? What other things can we be self-disciplined in?

Well, when it comes to goals, I really want to become a writer. I have to be self-disciplined in that. I have to decide that I'm gonna sit down and write on a regular basis and set up times and do that.

Self-discipline helps, okay? It doesn't solve all the problems, but what do you wanna do? What is your passion project?

What is your goal? You wanna travel. I love to travel.

I've just started traveling more. In recent years, I had always wanted to travel and hadn't had the opportunity, and now I do, and I love it. So maybe that's one of the things that's on your bucket list, a lot of people.

For me, it was Italy. Like, that was my bucket list trip. I wanted to go to Italy so bad.

What is it that you wanna do? How will self-discipline help get you there? Is it because it's a trip, and you've gotta be self-disciplined with your finances, and putting money aside regularly, till you can get there?

What is it, keeping those goals in front of you, and being self-disciplined every day? Little steps. You don't jump to the second floor, you take steps to get there, and each step is kinda small, right?

It's not big. But one step after another step after another step, and then you're on the second floor instead of the first floor, right? And that's how we solve so many problems, or prevent them from becoming problems.

We take little steps, and we repeat them again and again and again and again. We practice gratitude every day. Three things I'm thankful for.

It's a little step, three things. That's not many, right? We can do that, three things.

One day doesn't make that big of a difference. Two days, meh, three days a week, okay, I'm feeling better, maybe, maybe not, I don't know. But do that for a year, self-discipline.

Three things that I am grateful for every day for a year, yeah, you're gonna 100% notice the difference. The same with savings. So how many problems will it solve just being self-disciplined?

And I think the mental health practice here, it underpins all of it, is we're taking back ownership of our life. We're saying, it's not somebody else's responsibility that my life fell apart. It's not their fault.

Well, maybe, maybe it is. I don't know. But you're taking back ownership of your mental health, of your happiness, of your life, of the trajectory that you want to go on.

And it's no longer about somebody else doing something to you, or something else happened to you that was out of your control. You're saying, I'm going to take back control.

I'm going to say that self-discipline is going to solve 80% of my problems, whether financial problems, or mental health problems, or physical issues. I'm going to be as self-disciplined as I can, and maybe I won't see results immediately.

Maybe it will take time, but I'm going to be self-disciplined. And I'm going to get up and go to the gym, even on the days that it's raining, even on the day where it has been the worst day ever. I'm still going to say three things I'm thankful for.

Even on the days that everything is going against me, I'm still going to be self-disciplined. I'm still going to get up. I'm still going to do it.

Even when I have a lot of things, bills come up, I'm still going to say, self-discipline is a repeated habit, a repeated pattern. I'm going to do this even on the days I don't feel like doing it. Even when it's not fun.

Even when it doesn't feel good. I'm going to keep doing it. And that's how you reap the rewards and the benefits of self-discipline every day.

Day in and day out. However you set it up. Every paycheck, I'm going to save.

Three times a week, I'm going to go to the gym. Even if I don't feel like it. Because the truth is, the days you don't feel like it, are the days you gain the most from self-discipline.

All right? Like, those really are power-up days. And I want you to view it that way.

So the days that it's raining, and you really don't want to get out of bed and go to the gym, are the days that you've had a really bad day, and you still know that you've got to write down three things that you're grateful for.

You really feel anything but grateful. Those are your power-up days, okay? Let me tell you why.

Because when you push through that negative, that block, that roadblock, to doing what you said you were going to do, you gain self-confidence in yourself. You're like, even though I didn't feel like it, I still did it.

And it's like, you're building this muscle, and you are growing, and the next day that it's raining, and you don't want to go to the gym, the next time you have a really bad day, and your kids are just really upset with you, and all the things happen

that were negative, and you have to write down three things you're grateful for. You're going to remember that, you know what, I've done this before, I can do it again.

When it's raining, I got up, and I went to the gym last time, I'm going to do it again. And that excuse barrier is going to get smaller. That roadblock is going to shrink just a little bit.

And the more you push through it, when those days come, and it's hard to do, the easier it'll be to power through it next time. These days where it's hard to do it, are actually power ups. I just want to tell you that.

And when you view it that way, maybe it won't feel, it'll still feel itchy.

It's still hard to come up with things you're grateful for when you've had a bad day.

I get it. It's still hard to get up and go to the gym when it's cold and wet and rainy, and your bed is warm and cozy, and it's 6 a.m. I get that.

But when you do it, and then another day comes up that's that way, and you do it again, that roadblock, that barrier to your self-discipline just shrinks, and you build this muscle, and you are bigger than it.

And it takes time, but just know that yes, those days will come, the days where you really don't want to do it. But self-discipline is about repeating the thing over and over and over, even on the bad days, right?

So let's work this idea, this muscle of self-discipline. What are we going to be self-disciplined about? And I'm telling you, you're going to reap the rewards in your finances, in your mental health, in your physical health, in just your goals.

Like, I really want to travel. I really have this goal of something I want to do. And I'm going to be self-disciplined until I achieve it.

And some things, we just will have to always be self-disciplined about. I will always need to be self-disciplined about my mental health.

Sometimes, my mind wants to start wandering down a negative path, and I have to be self-disciplined and say, no, I'm not going to think those thoughts. I'm going to think good thoughts. I like, I have to, I will probably always have to do that.

I don't imagine there's a day that I won't. Some goals are immediate, not immediate, but they're like achievable in that, I want to go on a trip, I save the money, I make the plans, I go on the trip, check, it's done.

And then some things we just have to always do, like mental health and physical health. I don't envision a time where I'm gonna just give up on my body and stop working out.

I can envision a day where it shifts somehow, or I may try working out at home versus a gym, but right now, going to the gym adds another layer of accountability, and that helps my self-discipline, okay?

So as we're looking at self-discipline, accountability is a factor there, and it can, it has the potential, to help.

So if there is somebody that you can have as an accountability partner, and say, hey, I'm really trying to do this, and maybe they have the same goals. And last week, we talked a little bit about counseling, or like the group sessions.

If you are in a place that falls into those, like divorce care as a group share, sometimes you meet other people, and they are attempting the same things you are. They're wanting to work on good mental health.

They're wanting to get their finances back in the water. Sometimes, just a little bit of accountability. Maybe you have a really close friend or family member, and you're like, look, I'm trying so hard to do this.

Can you help keep me accountable? But remember, self-discipline is always, at the end of the day, gonna fall on you. You can do this.

You can solve 80% of your problems. I mean, that's empowering, but it's also a little bit, like, intimidating, because what that means is the responsibility is on you.

What that means is you can't blame somebody else for the majority of your problems. You have to take ownership. And this is a piece of growth and maturity that's not fun, but it's very empowering.

Once we get this down, once we're pretty good with self-discipline, once we've gone through those roadblocks to keep us from our goals, once we've gone through them a few times, then self-discipline and taking ownership is really, really, really

empowering. And I think when you've gone through a season where everything has kind of fallen apart, and so many things have felt like they're out of your control, it's really important to take control back.

It's really important to take ownership back. And I get there is a season in the healing process where you just want to wallow and blame other people for what happened and how unfair this situation is.

Because I'm willing to bet that if you feel like you're starting over, there was a piece of your situation that was unfair. I relate to that, I get that. But now is the time to take ownership back of your life.

Now is the time to say, you know what?

That wasn't fair, that wasn't good, I did not like that.

However, I'm drawing a line in the scene, and today, I'm going to start taking ownership. Today, I'm going to work on self-discipline, because I see that 80% of my problems can be solved if I work on self-discipline.

Yes, outside things can happen, and still will happen. But let's work on being self-disciplined in our mental health, and in our finances, and in our physical health, and in our goals. And even our spiritual health can fall under this.

Pray, read your Bible, whatever your thing is, do that on a regular basis. Don't not do those things. Let's be women who are self-disciplined, who take ownership and control of what is going on.

And we don't place the blame and the responsibility on someone else. Let's take ownership. You can solve 80% of your problems.

And that, really, I promise you, you will feel so empowered.

It may not feel like it today.

I get that.

Today may not feel super empowering, but practice it.

Little steps, they don't have to be big steps. Just little steps, repeated over and over again. And I will be talking about the work that I do on the podcast show, which is called, The Work on Amazing.

And I will be talking about the work that I do on the podcast show, which is called, The Work on Amazing. And I will be talking about the work that I do on the podcast show, which is called, Let's solve our problems.

Let's take ownership and be the captain of this ship, okay? So, what areas are you gonna take ownership of? What ways is self-discipline gonna make a difference in your life?

I would absolutely love to hear from you. You can find me online, www.workingonamazing.com. There's a place, you can drop me a line there.

You can send me a message. I would love to hear from you. What are you doing to be self-discipline?

How is that gonna affect your life? You can also find me on social media. I'm on almost all the platforms, but I will admit, I do hang out on Facebook the most.

So just Working on Amazing. Find me there, drop me a line. Let me know what you're doing to be self-discipline, how self-discipline is making a difference in your life.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I really enjoyed having you here. I look forward to talking to you next time.

Bye.