Saying No

Sometimes it's really hard to say "No".  So often it feels easier just to keep the peace and say "Yes"  But what does it cost us to say "Yes"?  Let's talk about saying "No" and how it can become a piece of our growth and healing

Transcript:

Hello, my name is Tiffany, and welcome to the podcast Working on Amazing.

This is a podcast where we talk about the work that it takes to rebuild an amazing life.

And I am using that word rebuild, specifically, because we are designed for women who feel like they're starting over in the middle of their life.

For me, that was divorce after a 20-year marriage.

For my sister, it was a very unexpected death of her spouse, and for you, starting over may look totally different.

I think the commonality is when all your hopes, all your dreams, all your plans for the future have gone up in smoke, the rug has literally been pulled out from under your feet, and it does.

It feels like you're starting over.

If that's you, first, let me just say from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry.

I know how overwhelming and itchy that feels, but I'm here to offer hope.

It gets so much better.

I promise you, it really does.

You are not alone.

You're actually in the right place.

So welcome.

I'm so glad you're here.

Now, if you'll remember, I said there were five areas I focused on when I rebuilt my life.

I focused on my spiritual health, my mental health, my physical health, my financial health, and growth and goals.

So today's episode is going to fall under mental health.

And today, we're going to talk about learning how to say no.

And I feel like a lot of people have talked about this.

You've probably heard that term, we need to learn to say no.

But maybe we're going to talk about it in a little bit different perspective today.

And even if you've heard it before, it bears hearing again.

I promise, there are some of us, myself, firmly included, who really need to hear this, okay?

So I feel like there are two categories we need to maybe practice saying no in.

And not everybody is this way.

But as I said, this podcast is for women.

And I feel like women on the whole, not everybody, but a lot of women tend to be people-pleasers.

We tend to say yes.

Hey, you want to come with us?

Hey, you want to help me play in this baby shower?

Hey, will you pick up my shift at work?

Or when our kids ask for something?

Oh, my word.

Can I join this new club?

It will mean me staying after school and you picking me up at odd hours.

Hey, can I do this?

Can I do that?

And we're just like, we want everybody to be happy, so we say yes.

And I think during this season specifically, when you're going through a season of transition and change, and everything's topsy-turvy, I think it can be real easy to say yes a lot, because we just want to keep everything copacetic.

We don't want any more bumps in the road.

Okay, yes, you can do that.

We're trying so hard just to keep it even-keeled, we don't want to say no.

But saying no can be a little bit empowering.

It can lead to growth.

I really promise it can be a piece of your healing.

But it's not a blanket, it's not every time I say no, let's talk about it.

So, like I said, there are two categories to say no in and start thinking about.

So the first category that sometimes we need to learn to say no in is when other people ask us things.

So, like the example I gave of maybe somebody asking a friend saying, hey, will you co-host this baby shower with me?

Or a coworker says, hey, can you cover my shift for me?

Or when your chi