What is your purpose?

Have you ever wondered 'what is my purpose'?  It feels like a big question and the answer feels mysterious and unknown. But what if it was so much simpler than we realize? What if your purpose was relatively easy to figure out?   

Transcript

Hello, my name is Tiffany, and welcome to the podcast Working on Amazing. This is a podcast where we talk about the work that it takes to rebuild an amazing life.

And I am using that word rebuild, because we're specifically designed for women who feel like they're starting over in the middle of their life.

Now, I feel like a lot of different things can lead you to the point where it feels like you're starting over. For me, that was divorce after a 20-year marriage.

For my sister, it was a very unexpected death of her spouse, and for you, it could be something totally different. I feel like the common denominator is when all your hopes, all your dreams, all your plans for the future have gone up in smoke.

The rug literally has been pulled out from under your feet. Your day-to-day life doesn't look like what it used to. And it does.

It feels like you're starting over. If that's you from the bottom of my heart, I truly want to say, I'm sorry. I know how overwhelming and just itchy that feels.

But I'm here to offer hope. I'm here to encourage you and tell you that it can get so much better. I promise so many other women have gone through this major life transition in the middle of their life and come out on the other side better for it.

You are not alone. You're actually in the right place. So welcome.

I'm so glad you're here. Now, if you'll remember in the beginning, I said I focused on five areas when I rebuilt my life. I focused on my spiritual health.

I focused on my mental health. I focused on my physical health, my financial health, and I focused on growth and goals. And I said every episode would fall under one of those categories.

Well, today's episode kind of falls under growth and goals, and it kind of falls under mental health, because as with many, many topics that we talk about, it falls under more than one category.

Some of them are easily divided, but some of them bleed into each other. So today, we're going to talk about purpose.

And I think purpose is this big word, and we're all kind of looking for it, but especially when your life has been turned upside down, and you're in the middle of rebuilding, and everything is kind of topsy-turvy, you're trying to find your footing

again in life, it's easy to wonder what the purpose is. What's your purpose? What are you supposed to do next? When we go through a season of change and transition, that question of what is my purpose is really, really common.

And sometimes we struggle to answer it. And it feels like this big thing, what is my purpose? And because it's such a big question and a big thing, it's intimidating, and we feel like we don't know the answer.

So let's talk today just a little bit about demystifying it. Like, let's not make it such a big, huge thing and simplify it and reduce it down.

And when you get it to its smaller components, it's less intimidating, it's less of a curiosity, and it becomes approachable and tangible. Okay? So I heard this quote that I absolutely love, and I had to share with you.

And it says that your purpose is found when you use your passion in service of others. And I thought that makes so much sense because sometimes we make our purpose into like our job or our career.

And if we can't do something purposeful and meaningful with our life, then our life has no meaning. I'm here to challenge that concept and say, maybe your purpose is something on the side that you do after you get home from work.

That work is what you do to finance your life, right? To pay the bills. But you can have a purpose outside of that, right?

You can have a purpose inside how you make money, definitely. But let's not limit it to our job. Let's find purpose in what we do.

So what are you passionate about? So if you're looking for your purpose, let's clear all the cards off the table and start fresh. What makes you happy?

What brings you joy? So do you love to read? Is reading just your passion?

Okay. Is baking? Like, I have a friend and she bakes a lot, and she'll post pictures of the sourdough and the different things she's made.

It all looks really yummy. Baking is very much her passion, and it's breads. I think she branched out into bagels.

There were different things, but baking is definitely her passion. What just makes you smile? Is it gardening?

Do you have a green thumb? I have no green thumb at all, but maybe you do. What do you find that just kind of lights you up, right?

That you know when you do that you are going to be happy. So maybe you like to crochet. Maybe you like to write.

Maybe you like to design. Maybe it's a creative thing. Maybe it's I don't know.

And let's look at all these different things and see how we can use that passion in service of others.

Because there's something that is released in us, and I believe this goes back to our spiritual health, and what I believe how God wired us to be, that when we do for others, it fuels us.

Doing for others, giving to others, being of service to others, really does something beautiful inside ourself. We're giving to ourself when we do that. I truly 100% believe that.

So let's meet up two different things. The thing that we are passionate about, the thing that we love, no matter how mundane or simplistic it is, and marry that with the idea of how can I help others. So what would that look like?

If you love to read, how could you use that passion in service for others? Well, you could tutor children. That could be a thing.

Or even adults or adult literacy tutors that are necessary. You could go to the nursing home and read to people who no longer are able to pick up a book and read for themselves, that they want somebody to read to them. So you could do that.

Maybe you could volunteer at your local library for different events or helping different things. Maybe you could start recommending books to people. Maybe, I mean, there are lots of things.

So how can you help other people? I heard a story about a woman, and she had been a stay at home mom, and now her children were in college and had moved on, and she was really struggling with what she needed to do and how to make herself happy.

And I was like, well, what do you enjoy doing? And the only thing she could come up with that she absolutely loved was planning family trips. She absolutely loved planning family trips.

So what did she do? She started planning trips for friends and more extended family. And that was a beautiful way to do for others.

She took what she loved, it made her happy, it helped give her purpose. If you like to garden, how can you help other people? Maybe you have a neighbor who needs help with their garden.

Maybe you can grow vegetables or plants and help give them to people in need. I don't know, but let's start getting our mind on the track of, this is what I like, I like to crochet.

I can crochet these little things and give them to people at the hospital. Whatever it is, right? Let's figure out what makes us happy.

And then how can we find a way to give to others with what makes us happy?

And let's get away from the idea that our purpose has to finance our life, that we have to make a lot of money from it, that we have to get a lot of followers on TikTok because of it.

Let's move away from the idea that our purpose is some thing that's a career, maybe, it could be. I feel like the mom who kind of had, her children had grown and she started planning trips for everybody. Well, you know what?

Yeah, obviously, that would morph easily into being a travel agent, right? And maybe eventually, she can start making money out of that.

But when you talk about purpose, I feel like we can confuse purpose with, we view it like, my purpose is big, I make a lot of money, my purpose is little, I don't make any money. And we need to get that out of our head. That is not it.

Purpose does not always equate with money. There are people who make big money, who are still looking for their purpose, okay? And there are people who have not very much income, who have found their purpose.

It doesn't equate with finances. And we feel like that to be productive and to be, we have to justify it by making money. But finding your purpose is going to fulfill you on the inside in a very, very deep way, okay?

And it's okay if there's trial and error. It's okay if you start to go to an elementary school to offer to help read or tutor children in reading because you love reading and you're like, you know what? This isn't the age group for me.

I've got to figure something else out, okay? That's fine. As you're saying, this is what I know lights up my world.

This is what I know I'm passionate about. This is what I know I love. How to meet that with service to others could take some trial and error, and that is 100%.

Okay. Allow yourself to try a few different things. Allow yourself to say, hey, maybe this isn't the age group, let's work on this a little bit.

But really give it time and thought, what do I love? Like simplistically, as simplistically as I can come up with it, what makes me smile? Is it food?

Is it writing? Is it painting? And how can I do this for other people?

I mean, let's just keep it really simple, and let's just take the time to think about it. If you're a journaler, please journal this. What makes me happy?

What brings me joy? And how can I use that in service of others? And if you take those two things, what makes you happy?

Your passion plus others, service of others equals your purpose. Okay? And we make it such a big thing.

Like our purpose has to be to be an inventor, to give the world something great. We don't have a true purpose unless we've reached at least a million followers. What is my purpose?

And we make it so big and so mystical, but it's not. You can find purpose in helping a kid read. I mean, if that is what you're passionate about, then that can be your purpose.

And that is beautiful, and necessary, and important. And if you love to bake, and you bake bread, and you give it to other people who you know are in need, maybe you have another thing where you know, like, I want to help out widows.

I've been a widow, and I want to help out other people who are widows. Maybe that's your thing, and you love to bake.

So you say, I'm going to bake bread for people who are widows, or I'm going to bake bread for people who recently been divorced, or I'm going to bake bread for whatever it is. Maybe you start to find your purpose, and you tweak it as you go along.

You know what? This is really what I need. And sometimes that morphs into something bigger.

And sometimes your purpose is just something simple. What makes you happy? And when you find what makes you happy, you have to share it.

You can't keep it to yourself. You can't hide your light under a bushel. No, you have to share it with others, and that's where purpose is born.

Okay? So what are you passionate about? And really come up with maybe one or two things, but one thing is going to stick out the most.

What you absolutely love. It's my family. And I love family time so much, and planning trips for my family meant the world to me.

Maybe that's it. And then you could be like the lady I've said in the example who then started planning trips for other people. Purpose doesn't have to be mystical.

Purpose doesn't have to be undefinable. Purpose doesn't have to be so big and so broad that it takes a degree in psychology to figure it out. Purpose can be simple.

And when you're doing what you love, and you're giving it in service to others, you're going to find a joy and a fulfillment that a regular 9-to-5 job isn't going to bring.

Now, the people who get to do what they love in service to others and they can make that their 9-to-5, high five, that's a great, great, great thing for them, right? And sometimes that happens and that's beautiful.

But if you have to work a basic job, that maybe isn't your passion, that's okay. You still have purpose. Everybody has purpose.

So what are you passionate about? Is it fashion? Is it jewelry?

Is it skincare? I mean, there's a bunch of different things. What are you passionate about?

What brings you joy when you talk about it? What would all your friends and families say? Oh, don't get her started on X.

She's going to talk about it. What are you passionate about? And how can you use that to serve others?

So I want to challenge you to write down three things you're passionate about. What am I passionate about? Prompt one.

What am I passionate about? Write down at least three different things that you're passionate about. What makes you smile?

What just lights you up when you do it? Prompt number two. How can I do these things I'm passionate about and service to others?

And that is multifaceted. So for each thing that makes you smile, try to come up with three or four things that you could do and service to others. So if I like to cook, I could cook meals for people in this group or that group.

I could contact Toronto McDonald House and see if I could cook a meal for them there. What, how can I use what I love and come up with more than one idea? If I like to cook, one, two, three.

If I like to garden, how can I use this thing that I love to do in pursuit and in service of other people? A gift doesn't grow until you give it away. It's just the way that works.

It's just the principle of our humanity. And when we keep it for ourselves and say, you know what, I'm passionate about this, so I've got to use this thing that I love to make money.

And when we limit it to making money, and we limit it to just one way, then we feel like a failure when we don't. But when we give it away, it unlocks something beautiful. And that is our purpose.

And sometimes, then that turns around, it becomes something bigger, and sometimes it doesn't. And both are okay. If you find your purpose, and it helps one other person, then it's worth it.

Because what if that person, then, turns around because of your impact on their life, and helps a thousand people. And then those thousand people turn around and help more people. It grows if all you do is impact one person.

That person impacts other people. You have started a domino effect of a great thing. It doesn't matter if you don't have a million followers.

It doesn't matter if you don't make a million dollars. That's not how we define purpose. Purpose is defined by what makes you happy and fulfilled down deep inside.

What can you do to fulfill yourself, right? And that is your passion plus service, okay? So what am I passionate about?

What makes me happy? How can I use this? These things that I'm passionate about to serve others.

And as you're coming up with ideas, what can I do to serve other people with these things that I like? I mean, really spitball here, okay? Brainstorm, come up with crazy ideas.

And then throw them and say, okay, what's the most realistic ones that I can do? What falls into my budget, into my time frame, into my ability? But come up with all the ideas.

I mean, spitball, all kinds of ideas. And then near it down, where do I want to start? Well, you know what?

It's probably going to be pretty obvious as you write that down. Okay, you know what? I can start here.

I can bake bread for my friend who I know is going through a difficult time. That's what I can do. And as you do for others, it's this thing that seems like a paradox.

It doesn't seem like it should be that way. If I give when I am emotionally broken, and I'm emotionally unsure, and I don't know, but I give out of my deficit, somehow I get back.

And I don't know why, but sometimes the darkest places I've been in my life, and it feels like I had nothing. When I reach down and give, and that doesn't mean giving like a financial gift.

It means maybe baking bread or doing something for others when I am depleted myself. That invigorates you in a way that is intangible.

Finding your purpose, especially in the middle of a big transition, I feel like is vital to building an amazing life. And that's what we're doing, right? Life has been topsy-turvy.

We got thrown a curve ball. Everything looks different than it used to.

We want to rebuild a life that is beautiful and amazing, where we're financially secure, where we're have strong, good mental health, that we're on top of things physically, and especially spiritually.

Don't you think a life like that needs to be centered around a purpose? That fits, right? That tracks.

So, what is your purpose? And like I said, this takes trial and error. It's okay.

I mean, it's learning. You're learning. I'm learning.

I'm still learning. What is your purpose? What are you passionate about?

And how can you meet someone else's very real, very human need with what makes you happy? And those two things, your passion and service for others, will equate to your purpose. And purpose can change and grow over time.

What your purpose was, maybe, as a child or a young adult might be very different than today. Take time to think about it. Take time to sit with yourself and say, what makes me happy?

What would it look like if I take this thing that makes me happy and did it for others? What would that look like? What would the reality of that be?

Take some time and just really think on it and then try it and see what happens. See if it makes your heart happy. See if you feel fulfilled.

Your purpose doesn't have to be found nine to five. It may be, and that's great, but it doesn't have to be. Your purpose is what you love.

Plus, service to others. And that is beautiful. And I think if we all did that universally, this world would be a better place.

Don't you think that? We would all be much happier. Instead of pursuing things that we think will fulfill us, let's take what we naturally gravitate towards, what we naturally enjoy, what makes us happy.

That's the unique thing about you. And then, find a way to help others with it. Let's find our purpose.

Let's think about it, and then let's act on it. Let's do it. Let's not just leave it in our head.

I mean, take the time and really think about it. But then let's take action, okay? I would love, love, love to hear about your purpose.

I would love to hear about what your plans are to marry your passion with Service for Other. So you can find me online, www.workingonamazing.com. There is a space there for you to send me a message and talk to me.

I would love to hear from you. You can also find me on social media. I'm on most social media platforms, but I will say, I do hang out on Facebook the most.

I'm a middle-aged woman. What do you expect? But shoot me a message.

You are not alone. You're not in this by yourself. Reach out.

Please tell me what you feel like your purpose might be. I am so proud of you for starting this journey. Purpose is so important.

And I cannot wait to hear what your purpose and your passion is. Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to talking to you next time.

Bye.