When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Breaking Free from the Overthinking Loop

 Overthinking isn’t a personality flaw—it’s your brain trying to protect you in moments of uncertainty. In this episode, we unpack why your mind gets stuck in loops, what fear is really driving those thoughts, and how to gently guide yourself back to peace and clarity. If you’ve been replaying decisions, second-guessing yourself, or feeling mentally exhausted, this episode will give you practical tools—and hope—to move forward. 

Transcript

Hello, my name is Tiffany, and welcome to the podcast Working on Amazing. This is a podcast where we talk about the work that it takes to rebuild an amazing life. Now, in today's episode, we're gonna be talking about overthinking.

You know, when your brain gets stuck in that loop, and you can't stop thinking about conversation, a situation, this isn't helpful, so how do we stop it?

And I feel like this is especially important to women who are starting over in the middle of their lives.

If you've just gone through a divorce, the death of a spouse, a major, like, job loss, big transition, big thing has happened that feels traumatic and overwhelming, enough to make it feel like you're starting over, chances are there are conversations

and situations that your brain is stuck on, and it's replaying them. So, today, I want to talk about that. And the first thing I really want to say is overthinking isn't a personality flaw.

I always felt like it was, but the reality is, it's your brain trying to protect you during moments of uncertainty.

Today I just want to really unpack why your brain gets stuck in these loops, what fear is really driving these thoughts, and how to gently guide yourself back to a place of clarity.

If you've been replaying decisions, second-guessing yourself, or feeling mentally exhausted, this is the episode for you, all right? Hopefully, I'll give you some practical tools and a little bit of hope to move forward, all right?

So, have you ever laid in bed at night and replayed the same conversation? Or have you ever tried to make a decision, and instead of clarity, you feel more confused the longer you think about it?

That's not because something is wrong with you, it's because your brain is stuck in a loop. Let's reframe what overthinking is. Overthinking, like I said, isn't a flaw, but it is a signal.

Your brain is designed to solve problems. It's designed to keep you safe. So when it senses uncertainty, it goes into overdrive, because it's trying to solve your problem.

Your brain is trying to keep you safe, right? It keeps searching for an answer that feels complete or safe. But here's the thing, your brain is trying to solve a problem that really doesn't have a clear solution.

Think about it. If you're stuck in the loop of, did I make the right decision leaving that relationship? If you're stuck in the loop of, what if I mess up this next chapter too?

If you're stuck in the loop of, what if I'm too late to start over? None of those questions have a clear, definitive answer, do they? So your brain is stuck, it's like tires that are spinning that don't have traction.

You're stuck because there isn't a clear answer.

3:24

Fear Drives Overthinking

So why does this loop that our brains get stuck in, why does it happen in the first place? And I'm here to tell you, fear is behind it, okay? Overthinking is fueled by fear and not logic.

We really can break it down to three core fears. The first fear is the fear of making the wrong choice. The second fear is the fear of repeating past mistakes.

And the third fear is the fear of losing control. Most things will fall under one of those three fears, all right? So, when we overthink, it's our brain trying to protect us, because we're really, really, not sure what to do.

And so, we're trying to protect ourselves. And so, we're trying to protect ourselves. And so, we're trying to protect ourselves.

And so, we're trying to protect ourselves. And so, we're trying to protect ourselves. So, let your body know, like, your body is safe.

6:06

Three Steps to Clarity

So, how do you ground yourself? Well, you could practice deep breathing. Just breathe deeply in and out.

You don't have to worry about counting correctly or anything like that. But breathe deep, fill your stomach up with air. You know how your stomach expands when you breathe in, and it contracts when you breathe out?

That's the way it's supposed to happen, right? Just work on your stomach going out and in. Deep breaths, right?

Or you could name five things that you see. That is a simple grounding technique. I see a window.

I see a dog. I see my shoes, right? So name five things you see.

That's a very simple grounding technique. Or you could just put both your feet on the floor. Now, it's just simple things that signal to your body that you are safe, right?

And as your body feels safe, your mind is going to start to follow. It takes time. But so if you're really overthinking and feeling anxious, step one, just ground yourself a little bit.

Like I said, breaths, name certain things you see, plant your feet on the ground, something very simple. It doesn't have to be metaphysical, it doesn't have to be crazy, you don't have to do yoga poses.

But just take a moment and let your body know, hey, your body is safe, you're physically safe. Okay, so that's step one. Step two, name the fear.

Ask yourself, what am I actually afraid of? This reduces the emotional intensity. If you say, I'm afraid I'm gonna fail again, I'm afraid I'll be alone.

Vague fear keeps the loop going, but named fear starts to break it. Okay? Named fear is clarity.

You're naming, I am afraid I'll be alone. I am afraid I'll fail. Whatever it is, why is your brain stuck in this loop?

There is a fear behind it, name that fear. And you start to bring clarity to the situation when instead of just thinking about the surface and that conversation or that situation, you go underneath it. Why is this really bothering me?

What am I afraid of? All right? So step one was ground yourself.

Step two, name the fear. And step three, take one small step. Your brain needs movement, not perfection, okay?

So action will create relief. It might be you need to send an email. It might be that you need to pick up the phone and make an appointment.

It might mean that you just need to write down what your options are. You don't need the whole plan, but you just need the next step, all right? And this is so important.

Sometimes it's making a doctor's appointment. Sometimes it's calling a professional and making an appointment. Sometimes it's sending an email, and sometimes it's writing a list.

But when you give your brain an action to take, it helps break that cycle. Okay, so I'm going to repeat the three steps to take, right? Because when you overthink, it's hard to remember things I know.

So number one, ground yourself. This is a simple, easy practice. It's not hard or complicated.

It sounds way different, but just a few deep breaths. Number two, name the fear. What are you really afraid of?

Why is your brain in overdrive? There's something underneath the surface of that conversation that you're afraid of. Number three, take one small step.

So it might be, I'm afraid I'll be alone. Well, maybe get on social media and join a club. Join a book club, find other people to talk to.

You get what I'm saying? A small step. You don't have to have the whole thing mapped out.

Take a small step. If you're afraid that you're gonna be financially destitute, set up the change the way you save program on your bank account, so it rounds up the change and puts it into savings. Just do one small thing.

I don't know what you're overthinking. I don't know what the fear behind it is. But generally, we can take a really small, simple step, and that really breaks the cycle of overthinking.

11:18

Accept Unclear Answers

Now, as hard as it is, I do have to acknowledge, we have to accept that some things seriously don't have a clear answer, right? Not every decision comes with certainty. Healing seasons are full of unknowns.

I just want you to know, it's okay if there's not an answer. If there isn't a clear mathematical precise answer, it's okay. You're rebuilding, you're growing.

Think about a plant. It doesn't know the full trajectory. It knows it's going up, but it doesn't know which limb is going to shoot out and which direction.

You don't have to know the whole layout. And that's hard, but accepting that not everything has a precise answer, accepting that we don't have all of it mapped out, sometimes gives us a little bit of peace.

And I just want to remind you that God isn't asking you to have it all figured out. You're not behind. You're not failing because you feel unsure.

God is with you. God isn't expecting you to map out your entire future or know the answers. He does want you to trust him.

13:18

Trusting Future Steps

Your mind may be searching for control. And when things have happened out of our control, we really do crave control, don't we? And I get that.

But sometimes peace comes from surrender, not control. If you're starting over, of course, your mind is trying to protect you. You've lived through things that made you question yourself.

But overthinking is not your intuition, it's your fear. And you don't have to have everything figured out to move forward. All right.

I hope today gave you some practical tools to stop the overthinking loop. You don't have to solve your whole life today. You just have to take the next faithful step.

All right. I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear what you've been overthinking.

Was it helpful? Did you try the three steps? Did it work for you?

You can find me online, www.workingonamazing.com. You can also find me on social media. I have an account on a few platforms, but I do hang out on Facebook the most.

And that's just the business page, Working on Amazing. Look me up, drop me a line. I would absolutely love to hear from you.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to talking to you next time. Bye.