33. The Power of Words as we Grieve

Are you struggling to find meaning and support during tough times? 

In this heartfelt episode of 'Courageous Retirement,' host Vona Johnson discusses the profound impact of words and the importance of acknowledging our emotions. Sharing personal stories from her father's recent passing, Vona emphasizes the necessity of community and the power of expressing genuine feelings. 

Explore how encouragement and spiritual faith can transform grief into a journey of purpose and fulfillment. 

Watch for future episodes for more insightful discussions on life's inevitable transitions and upcoming events focused on raising and mentoring children so they have a lifelong trust in God.

00:00 The Power of Words
00:33 Coping with Loss: A Personal Story
01:22 It's Okay to Not Be Okay
03:15 The Importance of Community and Support
06:11 Upcoming Episodes and Future Plans
07:32 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

Quotes from Vona:
 "And then one day I just realized that I needed to listen to my own words and that  it was okay to not be okay."

"And I feel like that's what that service (the funeral) did for me. It put my heart back together and it's just so full and so much lighter."

"... freely share those encouraging words because you have no idea the impact that they will make."

Watch the celebration and learn about the power of words: https://www.hdezwebcast.com/video/71288

Check out my books @ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=vona+johnson

Thank you for stopping by today! Remember to Engage Your Faith and Live Your More as you reap the benefits of Courageous Retirement!

To watch the video, check out my YouTube Channel!

Learn more about the show, author Vona Johnson, and more at vonajohnson.com!

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Transcript

0:05

We don't always realize the impact our words have today. I wanna talk about that and help you realize that our words really do matter.

Speaker: 0:13

Do you fear? What lies beyond retirement? What if it's a gateway to a life filled with purpose, meaning, and adventure rather than an end? Discover peace and fulfillment as you boldly enter this new chapter in Courageous Retirement, a Christian podcast. I'm your host, author, and coach VNA Johnson. Let's get started.

0:33

Since our last episode, my father passed away and we went through all the process of planning and preparing for his funeral, and then we had a celebration of life yesterday I'll be honest. Um, it wasn't easy. It never is. We think we're ready. You know, he was at the end stage of his dementia journey, and it was time, it was time for him to go. I thought I was ready. I was praying even for the Lord to just take him. And then when he went, it just, you know, it was just harder than I thought it would be. I was grateful that I got to spend time with him the last day. I got to pray with him. I got to, you know, read scripture over him with my pastor and, and that was really a blessing, but. Uh, grief is real. And one of the things that I learned as I was going through the process with him those last days and then even after he was gone, is I learned that, and this is something I told him many times, because he was such a gentleman, he never wanted to admit that there was anything wrong. He didn't wanna say that he was in pain and I started saying to him, dad, it's, it's okay to not be okay. And at one point I realized that I was doing the same thing. People would say, how you doing? And I'd say, oh, I'm okay. Uh, you know, I'm, I'm doing fine. You know, put the positive spin on it. And then one day I just realized that I needed to listen to my own words and that it was okay to not be okay. So as the days. Got closer. I started saying, you know, this, this has been tough. It's been a difficult day. Today especially was, was a difficult day or whatever the real answer was. And even, you know, when it came time and people, all kinds of people were offering, what can we do? How can I help? And. For the most part, uh, we got all the help we needed. We, we kept things really simple, but there were a couple of times when I just said, you know, if you could do this, that would be really great. And people stepped up and did that, and I'm so grateful for that. And so I'm here to encourage you one to be okay with not being okay and share that. You don't have to share it with the world. You don't have to post to the world how sad you are. But there are certain people that you need to let in. You need to be able to talk about that and share about that. So I just wanted to share that. Um, and secondly, I wanted to share how the words that we express to people really matter. Pastor gave a beautiful sermon at Dad's celebration. And the title of the service was The Power of Words, and he really hit home. Um, my dad's wonderful ability to make people, especially young people, feel really good about themselves because he was encouraging and supportive of them. And I have people all week telling me how blessed they were, that, you know, 40 years ago he was encouraging them and they still remember that. So I just want to encourage you to be that person for. Other children, other adults, other people. I'd forgotten how hard grief hits and how emotionally draining it is and how exhausted we are and you know, even. You know, even as we're going through it. As an introvert, I know that I get really drained around crowds. So purposefully I was kind of holding close to those times when I might be able to just be by myself and charge my battery before I needed them. And I encourage you to do that as well. Um, but I was surprised at how uplifting. Being at the celebration was and being with other people who loved my dad, and loved me and my family and just to be together and encourage and support, you know, I know people who say, I'm not gonna have a funeral that seems to be a trend these days. Don't have a funeral just, and I'm going to, I'm gonna challenge you to really think about whether that's the right way to go or not. Because we need each other, we need community and that. Community and that service completely changed everything. I feel like it shifted me from having a broken, empty heart that just everything had leaked out to coming in and it's, it reminded me of the pot where they talk about, in some cultures where, you know, the gold filled the, the broken. Shards and puts'em back together. And I feel like that's what that service did for me. It, it put my heart back together and it's just so full and so, um, I just, just so much lighter. I told my kids today, I feel like I woke up from a fog. And so I just encourage you as you give people condolences, share the stories that you remember about their loved one. Um, I have so many visions of what dad might be doing in heaven this week. You know, he is telling jokes with Jesus and he's cheering kids on from the, uh, rodeo arena, and he's singing his auctioneer song and he's having a beer with his wife and he's, reading the Bible with his mama and so many beautiful images that people painted for me. So I just, I wanna remind you it's okay to not be okay and to freely share those encouraging words because you have no idea the impact that they will make. I will be talking more about dad and the lessons that I learned from his life in the weeks to come. In fact, in two weeks we're gonna have an episode where I did an interview with a chaplain where we talk about the Christian perspective of dementia and how we can embrace that eventuality in life differently than the world does. So I hope you'll come back for that. I also want to kind of along lines with that, um, later in September, I'm going to be sharing, I'm gonna start a bible study on the book that's called Raising Kids to Follow Christ. It's intended for parents, but it's also intended for grandparents and teachers and anyone. Who knows a child, anyone who loves a child, who, anyone who's around children in their life, that pretty much means everyone, right? Anyway, I'm gonna be doing a face-to-face study here in the community if you're in and around PIerre but I'm also gonna try and find a way to work in an online component, and then I'm also going to have a thread in my ClubMore. If you're familiar with that, sign up for my newsletter, go to my website. Um, if you see somewhere where you can join club more, do that because I think we can have some really amazing conversations about how we can encourage and inspire young people and each other to trust God. So I just invite you to, to join me for those things that are coming up. I wanted to keep this short today, but I also think it's important to, um, step up and, and be. Be real when, when life happens to us. So, um, I just thank you. If you were one of those that sent a text, who shared a story, who came to the services posted on Facebook? I haven't responded. Uh, maybe I will someday. I don't know. But anyway, um, I just, I just thank you for. For the support. I thank you for being here, and I just, um, thank you for, for listening to Courageous Retirement and I hope that it inspires you to answer God's call to more whatever that is in your life. So again, thank you for stopping by. Go be blessed and always, always live your more.