Between Friends: Raw Conversations on Sex, Dating, and the Default Parent Dilemma

Sex, stereotypes, and shared frustrations take center stage as Matt and Dave welcome their very first podcast guest – their straight female friend Miami – for an unfiltered conversation that bridges the gay-straight divide.

The chemistry between these long-time friends creates an atmosphere where no topic is off-limits. Miami immediately challenges the hosts about why she wasn't originally asked to co-host despite suggesting it for years, setting the tone for a brutally honest exchange. What follows is a fascinating cross-pollination of perspectives as they navigate intimate questions about sex practices that rarely get discussed in mixed company.

When the conversation turns to anal sex preparation, Miami's genuine curiosity about douching leads to a surprisingly detailed and practical explanation that demystifies a topic often shrouded in secrecy. Her candid sharing about her experiences pegging male partners creates a compelling role-reversal moment, as she describes the psychological shift of being the one "giving" rather than "receiving." This exploration of power dynamics transcends sexual orientation, revealing universal truths about human intimacy.

The trio's easy rapport shines during their "Spit, Swallow, Gargle or Smear" game with celebrity crushes, showcasing how straight women and gay men can bond over attraction to men without competition. Perhaps most relatable is their shared pet peeves segment, where Miami's frustration with being the "default parent" resonates beyond sexuality into the realm of gender expectations that affect all relationships.

With raucous laughter, unfiltered opinions, and moments of surprising vulnerability, this episode proves that honest conversations about sex and relationships can bridge divides and create deeper understanding between friends of different orientations. Whether you're gay, straight, or anywhere in between, you'll find yourself nodding along – and occasionally blushing – as these fully grown friends tackle topics most people only whisper about.

Transcript

Tempo: 120.0

Speaker 1 0:02

Welcome to Fully Grown Homos with Matt and Dave a podcast about our adventures as fully grown homos navigating today's world full of inquisitive friends' questions about gay life and the unexplored activities of a life lived as fully grown homos.

Speaker 2 0:17

We will discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics we don't even know yet, as we want your input onto what you want to hear. Nothing is off limits, so email us on fullygrownhomospodcast at gmailcom or message any of our socials at fullygrownhomospodcast. Hey, Dave welcome to this week, and, jory, and welcome to you as well, man.

Speaker 1 0:57

Hey, dave, who have we got in the studio?

Speaker 2 0:59

We've got a very, very special guest today. It's our very first one to actually Very first guest and very first person that actually gave us some information about the podcast.

Speaker 1 1:07

Yeah, way back in the day when we started this, we asked our friends and family for questions Yep, and they stepped up and one of those people is our friend Miami, hello Miami. Hi guys. Welcome to the microphone.

Speaker 4 1:22

It's taken long enough to get me in, I think.

Speaker 2 1:25

I know that says every time I speak to him no.

Speaker 1 1:28

No. So we've had lots of questions come from Miami. We'll recap on some of those a little bit later. We're going to do a few other segments and stuff like that as well. We're going to do the first. We do our weekly wrap.

Speaker 2 1:44

Yeah, we do our weekly wrap.

Speaker 1 1:45

Before we do that, here we go oh honey.

Speaker 3 2:04

Guess who's back? Dave and Matt, with a disco smack Surfing laughs, they spill the tea the wrap of the week. With some attitude, please. I'm fully grown and feeling fine. Snap those fingers, sip that wine.

Speaker 1 2:37

Hey Dave, what's happening with you this week?

Speaker 2 2:40

As usual, Matt renovations, renovations and more renovations. Renovations, renovations, renovations, yeah so you haven't been over for a week or two maybe three weeks. About three to four weeks probably. So the house has been rendered, it's been cladded and I've just been out busy painting. All week the weather's been shit, as you know. I've seen some photos of you painting up on the roof.

Speaker 2 2:57

So it's coming together really nicely. So what's left left to do outside is the front driveway. That's all been dug up. I'm waiting for my builder to come along and lay the new driveway down for me. Build the front deck, lawn the front part, and then the front will be pretty much done, and then it's just left is the back deck and trees. Hopefully, if I can afford to get done, your back dick, yeah, the back dick, and then basically what?

Speaker 3 3:21

about the back door.

Speaker 2 3:22

Well, I always use the back door, always.

Speaker 1 3:26

As you know, it's completely open. It was last weekend too. It was oh yeah.

Speaker 2 3:34

We had clay come over again, didn't we?

Speaker 1 3:35

Yeah, and Dave offered up his back door. It was a good view.

Speaker 2 3:40

Look, I mean, I don't normally, as you know, I don't normally bottom because I suffer from back pain.

Speaker 1 3:45

So Miami was asking you.

Speaker 4 3:47

Is that just an excuse to be lazy?

Speaker 2 3:49

or Well, not in my case, but we have had friends that are like that and they will lay on their back or they'll do starfishing, because they just want to be fucked, I suppose. But for me, I think bottoming is one of those things I've got to be prepared for. Ready, oh, and you were. Oh, yeah, I thought you know, give it a go. I mean, I was in the right position. I was in that mood where I thought, okay, I'm happy to take it up the arse tonight.

Speaker 1 4:13

And then Clay come along and did his deed and he took it in his mouth as well. So I was like laying back there and I'm sitting there going fuck, this is a good view.

Speaker 2 4:26

Normally I get to see the other way because Matt's normally the one on his back. You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 4:30

No surprises there.

Speaker 3 4:32

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 4:33

Eiffel Tower. Did you see the Eiffel Tower? We didn't do the Eiffel Tower. No, we didn't, no.

Speaker 1 4:37

Shit, we'll let you go. I'll let you go. I'm an ex-whore.

Speaker 4 4:48

You're a current whore. Truth.

Speaker 1 4:51

He is a very current whore Truth truth, truth, truth and a future whore too. So the Eiffel Tower is when two guys it's generally done with a heterosexual couple, no, done with three people generally only, which is very minimum for me and you put your hands up over the bed, over the top of the person in the middle, create a notch and create sort of the bridge sort of thing and you basically have somebody bridging in the middle where you've got mouthful and arseful for support structure.

Speaker 2 5:19

So it's like spit roasting, but with a.

Speaker 4 5:22

With hands up in the air, so it looks like the Eiffel.

Speaker 2 5:24

Tower.

Speaker 3 5:24

Yeah, it looks like the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Like a big A, I suppose. Yeah.

Speaker 4 5:27

Yeah, big A Capital A. It's in the normal world too, guys. Yeah, we can go for the alphabet doing that we should actually try that.

Speaker 2 5:36

The alphabet is sex, the sexual alphabet.

Speaker 1 5:41

What you mean. We should mark them off.

Speaker 2 5:43

Yeah, we should do that. Yeah, yeah, that would be cool Well.

Speaker 1 5:45

I'll have to ask ChatGPT about that.

Speaker 2 5:47

What happens when we get to like X? How do you do that? I might just double over don't you?

Speaker 1 5:52

We're going to have to ask ChatGPT.

Speaker 4 5:54

You just slide there like a starfish, like Matt normally would. And there's your X.

Speaker 1 6:06

You Excuse me, I like to be in control and you know that Clay will tell you if he ever comes on. He'll tell you that I like to ride.

Speaker 4 6:10

Comes on something other than your face.

Speaker 1 6:11

Well, no, I'll come all over their face then. But I do like to ride because I like to control exactly where that dick's going to hit, basically, and it's normally a good ride you have, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like a fucking bock and bronco.

Speaker 4 6:26

Do you get a cramp or?

Speaker 1 6:28

No, oh, occasionally, occasionally, but then what I do is I just Is it a real cramp or Because sometimes I pull the oh shit. I've got a cramp just so I can get off. So it right, um, I don't fake anything in the bedroom, um, and, but I usually just sort of put my leg on the floor instead and sort of and just throw that leg up there, and a few times I'm doing funny angles on the chair and miami's looking at me going you can't get in that position, can't?

Speaker 1 6:55

and I go, yeah, watch me bitch.

Speaker 4 6:57

No, I saw him at yoga. I know that he surprised me. His balance was a bit off I'm not gonna lie but he was more flexible than I thought he was going to be.

Speaker 2 7:06

Let me say that Okay that's because he's been practicing the slings, that's what I think. He told me he went to do yoga in the slings and he found it so easy. It was horrible he said it was easy because he just felt like he was back in the sauna. Yeah, that part, he just said, he laid back and his legs went up and that was it.

Speaker 4 7:23

So a normal Friday, Saturday night, from that Absolutely Pretty much Sunday. Funnily enough we're off track already.

Speaker 1 7:29

It's not even three minutes, not seven minutes into the podcast and we're already off track, so how's your week been anyway? My week's actually been really good. Yeah, it's had some really fun stuff. Some good stuff happened at work, right, but we don't talk about work, no work um. Right, but we don't talk about work, no, um. We took the girls for their beauty salon and scruffy the puppy jay's dog for um for his haircut with the girls today, and so that was fun they're looking so cute, super cute.

Speaker 1 7:56

But all laying in different positions yeah, we do normally pretty much but like I don't, I don't think I I really did anything apart from work, work, work this week You've been very tired, haven't you? I have, I have, but we went to breakfast this morning at Mr Watkins in Penrith. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 8:13

It's lovely, it is.

Speaker 4 8:14

It is, I love it.

Speaker 2 8:16

The breakfast pie.

Speaker 4 8:17

The vibe out the back of it is not what I expected. It's so cool, isn't it? It's so eclectic.

Speaker 1 8:21

I had what they call a breakfast pie, right? Okay, explain which. Basically, it's just two slices of bread, bacon and eggs. Right, like a fried egg with bacon, with their special mayo and barbecue sauce.

Speaker 2 8:35

So far it's like a Jaffa. It's like a Jaffa, right, How's that a pie?

Speaker 1 8:39

No, because they put it in a pie maker.

Speaker 3 8:41

Yeah Right, so it's shaped like a pie and so it's really really good.

Speaker 1 8:44

It's shaped like a pie, but because I've had my gastric sleeve surgery, I can't eat tons of bread, so Dave had a bacon egg roll. The last time I had a bacon egg roll there, it was delicious, but I had half and then had to wait half a day for the other half, pretty much, whereas this was just Enough. The bread was thin enough that it was actually delicious and their coffee is so good, so if you're in. Sydney head to Mr Watkins In Penrith. Not sponsored, obviously.

Speaker 4 9:09

They are really good there, are they good?

Speaker 2 9:11

Have you been there in the evening time? Because apparently I have not.

Speaker 4 9:14

I have not Brittany's been there in the evening time, has she?

Speaker 2 9:17

Yeah, she said it's great.

Speaker 1 9:20

Yeah, definitely, Definitely, definitely. And what's your week been like Miami?

Speaker 4 9:25

My week's been pretty boring Work, work, work.

Speaker 2 9:27

Mother duties.

Speaker 4 9:28

Mother duties. I am a retired whore, so these days I have two children, a 39-year-old and a 4-year-old Yep.

Speaker 1 9:36

I'd babysit your 39-year-old for you I know, I know you tell? Me all the time time, um, but yeah, I don't know who's harder work at the moment, who's harder when you're 39?

Speaker 4 9:48

year old would be. He was in my bed, definitely, definitely, and we also got a new puppy so we have a beautiful little golden retriever puppy and he is yeah, but it's hard work, really really hard work, like I love him to death, but it's like having a newborn child again Let me tell you, but you've had a lot of issues with him in style we have we had. He's had some challenges, but he's on the mend now.

Speaker 2 10:11

Yeah, that's a main thing, that's down to you, giving him all the love and attention he needs.

Speaker 3 10:15

Yeah definitely he's a sweetheart.

Speaker 1 10:19

He's so pretty, he's so cute.

Speaker 2 10:21

So, we've got a bit of a new segment because Miami's here, yeah.

Speaker 1 10:24

So we've got a new segment, so we're going to head straight on into it. We even created an intro.

Speaker 3 10:29

Hey bitches, got a bone to pick with you.

Speaker 2 10:38

There's Miami. All right so.

Speaker 4 10:41

I have a bone to pick with both of you, but I'm going to start with Dave first. Dave, what makes you better than me?

Speaker 2 10:48

What makes you better?

Speaker 4 10:49

And the reason I'm asking is because Matt probably already knows where this is going. But for years I asked Matt to do a podcast with me. Oh, really, for years and years, and years, and he was too busy. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 11:05

And then I came on the scene.

Speaker 4 11:07

You came on the scene and next thing, you know, I see this amazing advert for this new podcast. He didn't tell me.

Speaker 2 11:13

First, let me just say that so he just put it out there.

Speaker 4 11:16

And I'm like are you kidding? Like where the hell did this come from? I've been asking for years and years and years and now you've gone and made this new podcast without me.

Speaker 2 11:24

I think what it was. He tied me down to the bed one night, which he wouldn't have been able to do with you, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 11:29

No, definitely not. No, because she'd dominate the fuck out of me. We know that.

Speaker 2 11:33

He actually tied me down. He said you're not getting up until you do a podcast with me.

Speaker 4 11:37

I don't believe that's how it went, so why did you pick Dave?

Speaker 3 11:41

over me. That's what I want to know, other than the fact that he has a penis.

Speaker 4 11:43

What.

Speaker 1 11:46

I don't know that. I think, oh wow, how do I get out of it? You're blushing.

Speaker 4 11:52

I'm waiting, he's blushing Good question.

Speaker 1 11:55

So I don't think I had the like. We had a great idea and we were also going to be super famous with our idea. We were of famous with our idea because we were going to do one. Where it was, we had a. Funnily enough, his name was Dave as well, a friend of ours, and he's a 40-year-old virgin, so we were going to ask him questions around his virginity, everything, everything.

Speaker 4 12:16

We're all slightly unique, so yeah.

Speaker 1 12:21

So when Miami almost slipped up there, when Miami says slightly unique, she means we all have different, varying levels of let's go mental health issues. Adhd, adhd.

Speaker 4 12:36

We're all neuro spicy. Let's put it that way.

Speaker 1 12:39

Oh, I like that neuro spicy.

Speaker 2 12:42

But you know what? I think you two gel so well together. It's so cool. Listen to the conversations we've had tonight before doing the podcast here. We've been talking for about four hours.

Speaker 4 12:52

And we probably didn't finish one conversation, no, and this is exactly where I was going.

Speaker 2 12:57

I sit there and I listen to the conversation, thinking who's going to end the conversation, because I've not heard any of these endings so far, and I feel that this is going in that direction already.

Speaker 1 13:06

So I think I probably wasn't capable at that stage of working out the how-to podcast, so that's probably why. And then just the time factor and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 13:17

And now I feel like you really like brush me off every time.

Speaker 1 13:19

I mention this.

Speaker 2 13:20

Now I'm single and free. How long ago was this? Oh, years ago.

Speaker 4 13:23

Well, he says years ago, Dave. But let's face it, I would have been asking and asking and asking because I don't give up on stuff.

Speaker 1 13:30

Yeah, okay, she is quite persistent, quite persistent.

Speaker 2 13:33

So yeah, but you could do a spin-off. You never know.

Speaker 1 13:37

Yeah, but no, we don't really see that friend so much anymore, right, okay, and I think the questions would probably run out real quick, like our conversation never, because it never fucking ends.

Speaker 4 13:48

No, that's true.

Speaker 1 13:50

But the questions for him would run out because I think yeah, because he was very naive very naive Sweet, sweet guy Lovely guy, friendly guy, yeah, lovely guy. Friendly guy but like just dim at times, like to the point where so what you're telling me is it wasn't. It wasn't a me thing no, definitely not a you thing.

Speaker 4 14:11

Obviously, you know I love you, then I may be able to drop the bone potentially okay.

Speaker 1 14:16

But this friend right, he was the kind of guy that a girl actually took him back to his house after a movie date.

Speaker 4 14:26

Are we going to get in trouble here? No, is he a listener? I don't believe so.

Speaker 2 14:30

It doesn't matter, because we're not.

Speaker 4 14:32

Hi, if you are.

Speaker 2 14:32

If you are hi, I don't know you, but hi.

Speaker 1 14:35

Yeah, she gave him a cup of coffee because she gave him a peck on the cheek one date and she said next time we're over we'll have to take you in for a coffee. We'll have to go to your house for a coffee afterwards, which clearly meant she wanted to fuck him. All right, right, was he doable In?

Speaker 2 14:54

your opinion.

Speaker 1 14:55

Okay, nah, not for me. He's just very geeky. He's nerdy. You know Beauty and the Geek. Yeah, actually, we tried to encourage him multiple times to go on that.

Speaker 2 15:04

Okay, so 30 years more Look he's a nice guy.

Speaker 1 15:07

He's a handsome enough guy If he had a makeover. You reckon he'd be nice? If he had a makeover, he could probably.

Speaker 4 15:11

Look, he's lovely and he's very sweet.

Speaker 2 15:13

Okay, so what you're saying is his personality doesn't match his looks. Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 1 15:17

No.

Speaker 4 15:17

It probably does.

Speaker 2 15:18

Well, let's Well, that's been all this. I asked a question.

Speaker 4 15:23

So no, look, I love him to pieces.

Speaker 2 15:25

I love him. Love, love, love, love, love, love.

Speaker 4 15:28

But he's just A unique individual, which?

Speaker 2 15:31

is cool.

Speaker 4 15:31

Yeah, he's cool he is cool and I think that girl was A unique and cool individual.

Speaker 2 15:37

Did you ever meet her? Do you meet her? No, no, oh, so this is what he's told you.

Speaker 4 15:41

Yeah, and I saw photos on social media.

Speaker 2 15:44

I believe, of the girl, and was she sort of like beauty?

Speaker 1 15:47

Unique and individual, so she matched his personality type.

Speaker 4 15:51

Are you trying to get us in trouble here, Dave? I feel like Dave's baiting us.

Speaker 3 15:54

I feel like he's baiting us hard.

Speaker 1 15:57

All right, you already won Dave. You got me and he knows both of us and he knows that one of us is going to say something soon.

Speaker 2 16:03

I just want to hear the end of the story, that's all.

Speaker 1 16:06

Oh, okay, good luck with that buddy. So, fundamentally she took, he went back to her house. So sorry, she took him back to his house after the movie, after she'd already put the coffee into his house, right, right. And then he said to her bye, right, and got out the car and said see you next time. Oh, she didn't come in, Right, wait. Anyway, he went in A couple of minutes later here's his knock on the door and she said remember, I was going to come in for a coffee. Also, he said hang on. He grabbed the jar of coffee and he said I don't drink coffee.

Speaker 2 16:41

There's no use you coming in.

Speaker 1 16:42

Oh really, he's that naive right? He's that naive. Wow, anyone else. And he says now I know because I've obviously had you in my life as a friend and Miami as a friend. So he just wasn't picking up on the hints he wasn't picking up on any of the hints.

Speaker 2 16:54

He wasn't picking up on, and how old would he have been then?

Speaker 1 16:57

About 30, probably.

Speaker 4 16:59

Wow, I think Is he similar age to me.

Speaker 1 17:02

No, he was 40 a few years ago now.

Speaker 4 17:05

Oh, okay, so he's older than me. I'm not 40, by the way guys.

Speaker 2 17:09

No, she's not, you are. You're probably the only. You're so fucking young. You're one of the only people that we know and are friends that are under 40 now.

Speaker 4 17:18

We're going to do something big for my 40th, I reckon.

Speaker 2 17:20

Yeah, 100% Real, big yeah.

Speaker 4 17:22

And real big. Yeah, when is it? I'm not telling you. Next year no it's not first of all. So take that back. I wish we were doing video here, because that was fucking. We've got a few years, a couple of years Okay, I got burned so hard. We've got a couple of years to plan it.

Speaker 1 17:40

You have no idea how much that was. That was like daggers in your eyes, man, I just fucking got. You have no idea how much that was. That was like daggers in your eyes.

Speaker 3 17:46

That was awesome, he got shot.

Speaker 2 17:47

He was very good. That was almost like a cum shot from a bloke. Oh my God, His tension is coming.

Speaker 1 17:50

I would have fucking been blinded by that one. For sure, for sure, there you go, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 17:58

So that was a bonus baby. Okay, that was the bonus question.

Speaker 4 17:59

I can probably drop the bone now, but I I feel like I think you should hold on to it? I think a little bit yeah I feel like matt didn't fully give me a right answer I feel like he is probably holding a little bit back so I might chew on that bone for a little bit longer, but you do realize that I would have forgotten that.

Speaker 1 18:17

You even asked that, so because, you know what my brain's like. There's not enough room right for conversation. Slash thoughts, slash learning shit.

Speaker 4 18:27

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 18:28

Plus work, plus song lyrics, and guess what's going to win every single time?

Speaker 4 18:31

And I would normally believe that, had I said it once. But, like, let's be honest, I'm very persistent and I think I asked multiple times, a bit like the ghost tour that I wanted to go on in Manly oh we need to do that.

Speaker 2 18:44

We need to. Oh, thank you, dave. Thank you, we definitely need to do it, because I've asked him about it's honestly been about four years, five years of me asking him to go Well.

Speaker 1 18:51

I think it actually stemmed from when you got married. Yeah, some more it did, because I stayed at that place.

Speaker 4 18:56

So how many years ago was that?

Speaker 1 18:59

I'm not responsible for membering your marriage. I'm going to get in so much trouble here, I'm horrible with dates.

Speaker 4 19:06

I'm going to get in so much trouble here.

Speaker 3 19:09

I'm not responsible. I think about seven years.

Speaker 2 19:10

Yeah seven or eight years, give or take a year or two, so he's well behind the ball game normally, then. Yeah, in terms of like, yeah, okay, all right, okay.

Speaker 1 19:18

I want. I'm going forward a case here. Okay, all right. So when Miami and myself chat, all right, and everyone in this room probably other listeners that are, what did you say? It was Spicy, neuro-spicy, neuro-spicy, neuro-spicy, right can relate that when we do chat, there is at least I'm going to say 40 and be really conservative right conversations that happen. That's just in the first 10 minutes that's what I'm saying. So how can I be more quiet to remember?

Speaker 2 19:49

I can sit there and I can listen to both of them and I love watching their reactions because they both go off on tangents. Like the topic conversation will start and then one of them will go off in a little bit and I think, okay, they're going to bring it back and the next minute they're on a completely different topic, and then the other one will start on another topic and I'm like how the fuck are we going to go back to this? And then one of them goes. We never did finish the last one, so we go back to that again and it's like like a rollercoaster yeah, it doesn't end yeah it's like one of those circles that never sort of join it doesn't, so let's just dive in.

Speaker 1 20:22

I don't even have a jingle for the next one, because what the topic of conversation. No, I don't have a jingle for the next one. Oh well, there you go, that's okay, because we're going to duck in to the next one, which was some of our original questions way back in the day that Miami sent through.

Speaker 2 20:40

This is a recap of all your stuff. Listen to what you're going to ask us.

Speaker 1 20:44

I couldn't find the original questions. Really no surprises there, it gets everything.

Speaker 4 20:50

I say no. I've got everything in my apps Adding that to the bone.

Speaker 1 20:54

But I don't know where it's gone, because I literally keep everything in my brain. Oh no, I just found them. It was further down. There you go. It was further down.

Speaker 2 21:06

I think these ones were yours. Maybe these ones were Brittany's. We'll ask her. Just remind Miami what they are Okay.

Speaker 4 21:09

All right, Topics were Mine will probably be a little bit more spicy than.

Speaker 1 21:14

Brittany's potentially. Yeah, yeah, yeah Do you get gravel rash.

Speaker 4 21:19

No, that's not mine. Okay, I know all about gravel rash. I'll never ask the question about it no, on your Hang on.

Speaker 1 21:26

Do you hear gravel rash like pass rash on your cock from a BJ?

Speaker 4 21:30

No, Was that one of yours? No, definitely not.

Speaker 2 21:33

Okay, that was one of.

Speaker 1 21:33

Brittany's. All right, I know that you sent one through just because you thought it would actually be a good question for everyone to ask to hear, even though you clearly know the answer. And you said does it hurt getting fucked up the ass Right?

Speaker 3 21:49

Did you ask that? Yeah, she did ask that she did ask that.

Speaker 1 21:54

But she said I remember the text saying, her saying I already know the answer clearly because she's not opposed to getting a bit of anal action.

Speaker 4 22:04

Things have changed.

Speaker 1 22:06

Back in the day, back when she was a whore.

Speaker 4 22:07

As I said, I'm a retired whore. I've hung up my boots as to say.

Speaker 1 22:13

Your boots, For now anyway.

Speaker 2 22:16

You've got other duties to attend to, like looking after two kids Until your 39-year-old son pisses you off.

Speaker 1 22:24

That's right. Yeah, you're on notice. But yeah, so there was that one and we said that. I said it hurts. Sometimes you said it hurts.

Speaker 2 22:36

Well, yeah, I mean, I find it, like I said before, it's more, so my back.

Speaker 4 22:39

Do you guys use lube?

Speaker 2 22:41

Oh, all the time. Yeah, definitely, I've got lots of it.

Speaker 4 22:44

Yeah, in the straight world. It's like it's not.

Speaker 2 22:47

I've never had a guy go to do it in the back passage.

Speaker 4 22:49

Yeah, I've never had a guy to go to do it and use lube oh wow, how do you feel about that? Well, normally they they like just spit on your asshole.

Speaker 2 22:58

Yeah well, yeah well. I think rimming you that's even better, because I mean, you're pretty much, I'm not a big fan of that. Are you not?

Speaker 4 23:04

No, I don't know why. It's not like I'm a, but I just, I'm just like just move up a bit.

Speaker 2 23:11

Like for me. It's like you're wasting your time, what you're giving or you're receiving.

Speaker 4 23:15

Oh like.

Speaker 2 23:16

Would you rim a guy?

Speaker 4 23:18

I mean, have I, is that you're asking? Okay, have you?

Speaker 2 23:21

yeah, well, yes, okay so you know what it's like anyway yeah, definitely, definitely okay and, but when you're talking about receiving I'm talking about receiving, I'm not you're not a big fan of yourself, because I'm like, look, just get it in there, yeah the, the pussy's right there, just move up that's all right, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 23:37

Like I'm going to get more from that than I.

Speaker 2 23:39

That's, yeah, that's understandable, because this is good for us, because obviously from a woman's perspective, I mean, we're not going to get that. It's all like narrative and you don't want them switching between the two. No, definitely. It's a big thing for females. I can understand that.

Speaker 4 23:51

Straight men don't realise it. Let me tell you, Dave. But like tossing the salad and switching between it's just not healthy.

Speaker 1 23:57

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 23:57

Like no one wants a bad pH level.

Speaker 1 23:59

You just don't. Well, dave actually got like when Dave was in hospital with his kidney infections and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 24:08

my dad because my dad's quite a comical- it started with a urinary tract infection which is not picked up by. I just got like an infection from a. What do you call it food poisoning? What did they say?

Speaker 3 24:19

Yeah, they said it was food poisoning.

Speaker 2 24:20

So that obviously led to me having a urinary tract infection.

Speaker 1 24:23

I've actually had plenty of urinary tract infections, which has not been correlated to any sexual activity, but my dad said my dad said you tell Dave that he's supposed to go from the front to the back, not the back to the front.

Speaker 2 24:41

So that yeah.

Speaker 4 24:42

Yes, well, that definitely is, but he had a great fun thinking that's what it was.

Speaker 2 24:45

Yes, well, that definitely is.

Speaker 1 24:45

He had a great, great fun thinking that's what it was. How often? No, hang on, I'm going to let you read them out again, all right?

Speaker 4 24:52

All right, let me read them out. Read them out. Sorry, I had to have a sip of wine then, guys. Sorry, that's all right.

Speaker 2 24:56

So Miami's come to the rescue and found the questions because we fucking text a lot.

Speaker 4 25:01

I have. I have, like, I just like I knew how many times I said, matt, hey, I'm going, we're going off track again, but Matt hates that. I will send a question. I'm one of the people that sends multiple text messages. You know the one text, the thing that could be one text message, yep.

Speaker 1 25:17

But turns into five.

Speaker 4 25:18

That's me.

Speaker 1 25:18

A five. Okay, because that's not Five.

Speaker 4 25:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2 25:21

Five.

Speaker 4 25:22

It drives men insane.

Speaker 2 25:23

So you don't have to be verbal. You can just do it by text, and then the conversation's never in that way.

Speaker 4 25:27

Yeah, that's awesome. But literally it'll be like Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing bing.

Speaker 1 25:32

How are you and these are all different fucking that happens a lot on podcasts isn't it. This is literally like five messages.

Speaker 2 25:38

Just you should actually text us on the podcast.

Speaker 4 25:41

I actually did it once.

Speaker 1 25:43

I fucking did. Every single word, no, I think. I did every single letter differently and I said that she would get it. But yeah, it was funny. All right, here are some early days questions.

Speaker 4 25:55

How often do you end up okay, sorry. How often do you end up with poop on your cock?

Speaker 2 26:02

Now that, because as females we get. It has happened. Yeah, as a female.

Speaker 4 26:06

You get very paranoid about it.

Speaker 2 26:07

Yeah, I mean that has happened, not from me being penetrated by another guy, but obviously when you penetrate another guy and they haven't douched properly, then it can happen.

Speaker 4 26:17

So it's normal for them to shit on your dick. Well, not really, not normal, not really so.

Speaker 1 26:21

The thing is that douching and douching and again. Miami's asked me about douching a number of times.

Speaker 4 26:27

Numerous times. I'm very intrigued. I've got to show you my kid Because the times I have done.

Speaker 1 26:34

Anal, anal. You're allowed to say it.

Speaker 4 26:36

I hadn't douched first. I wasn't prepared.

Speaker 2 26:39

Okay, so you wouldn't know.

Speaker 4 26:40

No because, it's not a thing in the straight world A lot of people don't know about it. And half the time, as a female like I'm going to be honest. You don't know what's coming it just goes in there.

Speaker 1 26:49

It just sort of happens, yeah, yeah, and you just pray that it's there and I guess, as somebody that's going to play in the backyard, you're going to get dirty occasionally, and you tend to smell it before you see it, and that's a problem it is it is like that honestly, so I get paralyzed recently yeah recently, oh, not recently.

Speaker 2 27:11

Well, there's a guy that we played with we're not gonna name names.

Speaker 1 27:16

Yep is yeah, but we played with him before right, and he's been perfectly fine, but the last time I played with him right, um, I thought to myself yeah, he was a good fuck before.

Speaker 4 27:26

At church right.

Speaker 1 27:28

And so I sort of lubed up and stuck it in, and then I could smell.

Speaker 2 27:35

I could smell it too.

Speaker 3 27:36

And I kind of went I'm going for a shower and you weren't doing it like, but you had to leave.

Speaker 4 27:43

Look if I could smell shit.

Speaker 2 27:44

I have to leave, I can't. It makes me throw up, it makes me feel gaggy.

Speaker 1 27:48

I literally went downstairs and showered pretty much straight away. So how often? Not often, because most people do know how to douche.

Speaker 4 27:56

But are you ever worried?

Speaker 1 27:58

Like do you ever go to?

Speaker 4 27:59

like bottom and then go how's?

Speaker 2 28:02

this going to go Normally you can smell them beforehand.

Speaker 1 28:06

No, no for yourself. You smell your own ass beforehand. Oh no, sorry, no, I thought you meant that. It'd be good if I could. Could you imagine it? I wish, Fuck. Yeah, that would be awesome. You can by sticking your finger up.

Speaker 4 28:17

Have you ever done that? Have you ever like stuck your finger up? You my kit later. It's just like a little Matt, I've seen your kit.

Speaker 1 28:22

No, no, no.

Speaker 4 28:28

I was there when you bought it.

Speaker 1 28:30

No, the douche kit no. So the one I'm using at the moment is basically just a garden hose. Not a garden hose, it's a six mil hose.

Speaker 4 28:37

You can tell he's from Mount Druitt. I got from Bunnings.

Speaker 1 28:41

It should seem a bong. I'm joking. I don't smoke weed, that's not my thing.

Speaker 4 28:47

He grows plants, he doesn't smoke them.

Speaker 1 28:49

I don't grow any kind of illegal plants Illicit stuff yeah, but if I've douched and I just don't feel like I've got everything, I just won't bottom. That's simple as that. Right, I really make sure that I've gotten everything. Now, back in my early days, there was probably one or two times I remember when we were at church with Michael and he went Matt, you need to go and rejig yourself.

Speaker 4 29:15

So that would be it for me.

Speaker 2 29:16

I'd be gone. I don't know. I went and reclaimed myself yeah.

Speaker 1 29:22

Some people think it's really shameful, right, but again you're playing in the backyard.

Speaker 4 29:26

You're going to get dirty A hundred percent and I get it Like. I guess in the straight community it's a little bit different because we're more paranoid, because it's not something we do all the time. What worries me?

Speaker 2 29:36

more right is sometimes you go to these saunas, right, and there's a big notice on one of the showers now that says use the toilets and not the showers for shitting in.

Speaker 2 29:44

Basically oh my god, yeah honestly so you know, some guys have either not cleaned themselves, or they've decided that they've cleaned themselves, but not enough and it's just fucking come out and they've just done it in the toilet in the shower. Yeah, it's pretty gross. So, yeah, I mean anything to do with shit. Just get the shit. I don't like it. I don't like the smell. Taste it? No, well, you could probably taste it if you fucking.

Speaker 4 30:05

You can taste it sometimes in the back of your mouth.

Speaker 2 30:08

Some guys will fuck you and then they go down and they fucking start sucking you up after they've fucked you and you're like what the fuck's all that about? I mean it's like, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 30:17

Oh, so that's not a thing? No, after you've fucked them, they'll come out and they'll start sucking your dick straight away.

Speaker 2 30:23

But but they haven't checked their fucking asses clean. I mean, you just fucked them.

Speaker 4 30:25

Yeah, that's true, yeah, but usually they're fairly confident, you would hope so I've definitely been with a few men who've tried to do the anal and then yeah, and then you want them to suck you.

Speaker 2 30:38

No, no, they've jammed it straight in my mouth. I don't think they could be able to suck you because you just Okay, where are we going with this?

Speaker 4 30:43

No, but then they've tried to jam it straight in my mouth.

Speaker 1 30:47

I don't want to taste my own ass.

Speaker 2 30:49

We spoke about pegging earlier in the conversation. Okay, so if you were to fuck a guy and they weren't clean, would that be the same thing for you? The smell on the side of the shit.

Speaker 4 30:58

Yeah, definitely it would be, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 31:03

Would you tell them that you've got to leave them?

Speaker 4 31:04

I don't know how I'd handle it.

Speaker 1 31:06

to be honest, fucking, sit there and unstrap yourself. Well, this is awkward.

Speaker 4 31:11

I'm not sure how I'd handle it.

Speaker 3 31:13

I honestly don't know.

Speaker 4 31:16

As you both know, I have dabbled in the pegging side of things before.

Speaker 2 31:21

Oh yeah, You've not experienced it, though obviously not.

Speaker 4 31:24

Not like, but not hardcore Do you know what I mean. And I never had an issue with that. I don't know if they like douched first or like I don't know.

Speaker 2 31:34

So the high probability they might have douched High probability.

Speaker 4 31:37

Yeah, they knew it was coming. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 31:40

So it's not like unplanned.

Speaker 1 31:43

Wasn't that? Oops, I accidentally stuck this vibrator in your arm. How did you find?

Speaker 2 31:46

them in terms of when you're pegging them Because obviously I wouldn't know, because I've never pegged anybody Did they sort of like expect you to be sort of like really rough with them, or is it just like a steady sort of thing?

Speaker 4 31:58

Well, the first one. No, he was like I think it was his first time, right, and he didn't want to.

Speaker 3 32:05

He chose you I Right and he didn't want to, and he chose you, I know, and not me, can you?

Speaker 4 32:09

believe it. And I was quite young. I was in my early 20s. I'm not going to lie. He would have been at least 10 years older than me. Right okay, very attractive, but going off script there.

Speaker 1 32:19

But sorry, that's okay, are we going off script when the fuck, are we on a script?

Speaker 4 32:23

When the fuck did we ever? No, because my head started. I had to bring myself back to earth for a second.

Speaker 3 32:28

Anyway memories, memories. I'm not a whore anymore, Not a whore.

Speaker 1 32:32

Don't you moisten my seat, so he was.

Speaker 4 32:38

It would have been like one of his first times, so he wanted it very gentle and it was like slow, slow, slow. To be honest, I just wanted to jam him like he jammed me.

Speaker 2 32:47

How did you feel doing it, though? Did it feel empowering for you?

Speaker 4 32:50

I was looking him straight in the eyes because he wanted his legs to move back, so he was on his back.

Speaker 2 32:54

Yeah, oh, wow, wow okay.

Speaker 4 32:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2 32:59

Did it feel weird that you were the one that was giving him the fucking good scene?

Speaker 4 33:03

Well, I just didn't know how hard to go. Like I was like oh I do. I've never fucked anyone before, male or female.

Speaker 1 33:13

Like that Hang on. No, I reckon even as a woman, you give fuck energy. You don't give get fucked energy.

Speaker 4 33:22

Yeah, very true.

Speaker 1 33:23

So the thing is that to say you've never fucked anyone, you've fucked people, right, but they might have had their dick in you, but you've definitely fucked them.

Speaker 2 33:33

Yeah, definitely so, when they're laying on their back and you're fucking them and they're moaning and groaning.

Speaker 4 33:37

Well, he was like he was like yep, yep, and then he was like oh, a bit softer, a bit slower, were you laughing in your head.

Speaker 2 33:44

No, not at all so you were really yeah, no, I was into it, I was focused, I was giving it 100.

Speaker 4 33:50

Dave, I don't do anything without giving it 150%.

Speaker 2 33:52

That's awesome. That's awesome.

Speaker 4 33:54

I was focused. I was like, if he's holding a score, I want to get a 10.

Speaker 2 33:58

There you go. Wow, wow. Did you ever get anybody to? He did like sort of stop towards the end. Yep Wanted me to stop.

Speaker 4 34:08

It must have been a little bit too much for him, yeah.

Speaker 2 34:11

Did you feel like, yes, I've scored one there? No not really.

Speaker 3 34:16

You're disrespectful. Yeah, I was disrespectful.

Speaker 4 34:19

I know how it feels.

Speaker 2 34:20

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying, because you know what it's like In all respect.

Speaker 4 34:27

I just like bite my teeth and grit and bear it, but I know that men aren't as strong as women, so I expected him to tap out True.

Speaker 1 34:30

It's so cool though, isn't it True? Yeah, we're definitely not.

Speaker 2 34:33

Don't talk about pegging enough and obviously, from your perspective, doing it is even better. You know what I mean, so that's awesome, that's good to know that, yeah.

Speaker 4 34:48

What other questions have hurt? Well, we already covered that. Yeah, we already covered. So how hard is douching and have you ever really get? Do you ever really have to get used to doing all that prep?

Speaker 3 34:54

work like because it doesn't take long, it's worth it.

Speaker 1 34:56

Like it, like literally I could. I could do run out of here now. You guys could be talking and you'd probably be on conversation number 20 because you're you. Yes, but it only takes a few minutes, right, because I've got mine hooked up to the tap, the tap. I just turn the taps on. See, I've got the hose up, portable right can I ask another question?

Speaker 4 35:18

yeah does like the tap water pressure get you there, or?

Speaker 1 35:20

no, no, no, it doesn't okay. No, because, because it's a different purpose okay right, I had to ask yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 35:28

But, the thing is, they do try and tell you to hold the water in for three or four minutes.

Speaker 4 35:33

A bit like an NMR. Yeah, absolutely Exactly like that.

Speaker 2 35:37

It's like that.

Speaker 1 35:38

It is like that it is exactly like that, and then you basically hold everything out and you've just got to do it a couple of times until the water runs clear. But are you scared that?

Speaker 4 35:44

like water's going to keep leaking out. Sometimes it does, so it does sometimes oh that's not nice. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 35:49

This is why I like to do it way prior. So the thing is, if Dave and I were going to go and fuck now, right, I'd say I need to be an hour or maybe a little while ahead, yeah, and then I give myself enough time to go and just get rid of anything that's sort of residual like and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 36:08

It is common. I mean I could sit on the toilet for maybe 10 minutes afterwards and just make sure it's out.

Speaker 4 36:14

Yeah, but then that's negative because you can strain as well by trying to push it out. But what if you just like, did like 20 squats or something in a spot? Do you reckon it would?

Speaker 1 36:22

help get like the rest of it out, I'd definitely do 20 squats. I'll definitely get that to do 20 squats, 20 squats.

Speaker 4 36:29

I reckon I'd be too tired to fuck. Then Do you reckon that motion would help get it out? Don't tell me you're coming at me with 20 squats.

Speaker 1 36:34

I can look at you, you know.

Speaker 2 36:37

That's his gym workout for the week that is.

Speaker 4 36:39

No, I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 36:42

Would that like help propel it? And also if I know we're going to church, if we've got a church day booked as well?

Speaker 4 36:49

Take me to church.

Speaker 1 36:50

You know that Hoyser song.

Speaker 4 36:51

I can't listen to that song anymore, without thinking of YouTube, it has a whole new meaning to that song. Yeah, 100%. I don't know what church it was. How do you say it?

Speaker 1 37:00

But if we go there Hoyser, Hoyser Cozy air.

Speaker 4 37:04

Thank you.

Speaker 1 37:04

If we're going, I also monitor what I'm eating the day before as well, so I'm not going to go and have a curry.

Speaker 4 37:09

This is too much work for me. I'm sitting here thinking as a single man. But I've done anal a few times. I didn't go to all this trouble. Now I'm sitting here thinking did I shit on anyone's dick? You probably did. Because, I did not put in this much effort.

Speaker 1 37:28

I did not. That's probably why he only did it while you were in the shower, because that way it washed away straight away.

Speaker 2 37:33

But most of the time I mean by the time you get to church and stuff like that it's pretty much the guy that we both, I think I just mentioned his name a second ago the big blonde one.

Speaker 4 37:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1 37:42

Yeah, he used to. You told me yeah, definitely Because you said he wasn't massive, so it was quite good Wow. Wow, you really yeah, Is this something that you've both done, Somebody we knew right.

Speaker 4 37:54

No, no, no Not someone from church. No, no, no, Right, no, no. Somebody we Someone we worked with.

Speaker 1 37:59

Right that Nicole used to get the dick from Secret, but yeah, but he wasn't overly big, was he bisexual?

Speaker 4 38:09

Matt has tried to get my seconds before. Dave, I'm not going to lie. Matt has tried to get my seconds.

Speaker 1 38:12

We're not going to mention names here Because we're not going to get anyone in trouble. No, because he's married with children.

Speaker 4 38:17

He is married with children, but Matt has tried to tap into my seconds before Hang on, he hit on me first.

Speaker 1 38:22

Well, like I said, and then I kind of would happily go there. But yeah, I don't know if you I'd happily go there, just because, because you said he wasn't very good.

Speaker 4 38:32

No, I didn't say he.

Speaker 1 38:34

He wasn't great. Okay, You're putting words into my mouth now yeah, he wasn't my like.

Speaker 2 38:40

I'm all for. Like the, you didn't have the enjoyment. You didn't have the enjoyment, no.

Speaker 4 38:44

I enjoyed it, but I just like a bit more. I want a man that's going to err that I can sort of fight that power with.

Speaker 1 38:50

Maybe he'd be better with men, because Maybe he had really pretty hips.

Speaker 2 38:55

Maybe, yeah, could very well be. Isn't that silly?

Speaker 3 38:58

I know, I can't describe it.

Speaker 4 38:59

But like he had these nice little hip bones. Oh my God, I'm sobbing.

Speaker 2 39:04

I love it. This is another conversation, here we go. But anyway, dave, he did try to tap into my seconds and I'm like well, if you just want to.

Speaker 4 39:12

If you wanted to know what my pussy tastes like, just ask me.

Speaker 1 39:16

You know, what.

Speaker 4 39:17

I mean, like you don't have to go to all of that trouble, I'll ball it out for you. Matt.

Speaker 1 39:24

Two is enough for my lifetime. Thank you very much. I'm never going back to that shit again. But yeah, all right. So I've got a couple of questions for you. Miami, all right, all right, who would you turn?

Speaker 2 39:38

gay for as in lesbian gay Billie Eilish.

Speaker 1 39:40

Billie Eilish.

Speaker 3 39:41

Okay, I've told you guys that, I've told you guys that before.

Speaker 2 39:44

A lot of people said that as well. Yeah, she's kind of hot. She is hot.

Speaker 4 39:46

She's younger than me, so I feel like a little bit of a it's creepy, but yeah, that's good, though, but not young enough to be creepy.

Speaker 2 39:53

No, but like I said, you've got that vibe with her. I'm in my 30s.

Speaker 4 39:57

She's in her 20s.

Speaker 2 40:01

It's not like taboo, taboo, but piercing eyes, that confidence, that yeah.

Speaker 1 40:06

So would you rather right with Billy, right? Would you rather eat pussy, like eat her pussy, or get fisted by her?

Speaker 4 40:19

Oh no.

Speaker 3 40:20

Fisting. That's a bit rude. Why have?

Speaker 4 40:22

we got to take it all the way to fisting Matt.

Speaker 1 40:25

Because vaginas stretch, don't they?

Speaker 4 40:26

I was like eat her pussy and then we go the way to fisting that like I think it's like I was like eat a pussy and then we go straight into like okay, all right, would you rather eat her pussy or get your pussy eaten by her? Both, both, yeah, like I don't think I'm not.

Speaker 2 40:37

Yeah, I'm not a lesbian, but I would do the same I'm not a lesbian either and I'm not like fond of.

Speaker 4 40:45

I'm going to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 40:46

I'm like oh yeah, I think they're gross.

Speaker 4 40:48

Me too, and I'm like I don't know.

Speaker 1 40:50

Why does anyone want this thing? It's falling apart.

Speaker 4 40:53

But I could deal with hers.

Speaker 2 40:54

But would you then, if she turned around and said Miami, would you peg me?

Speaker 4 40:59

Yeah, why? Not yeah, would youally, or vaginally, Wherever you want to. Oh, there's no question.

Speaker 2 41:09

Vaginally yeah, go. Do you want me pregnant? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 41:12

I'd be on all fours real quick. Yeah, she's definitely my girlfriend.

Speaker 2 41:18

Would you have a threesome with women or would you just stick it to one-on-one?

Speaker 4 41:22

It would depend who it was Okay.

Speaker 1 41:25

Yep, yep. So mission it would depend who it was. Okay, yep, yep. So mission.

Speaker 4 41:27

I couldn't never have a threesome with my husband, because I'm way too jealous.

Speaker 2 41:31

Oh yeah, yeah, that's understandable.

Speaker 1 41:32

I get that Another girl who looks sideways at him, and you're going to fucking rip her throat out. Oh, yeah, I'll kill her. I'll kill her. Yeah, you're literally ripping her throat out.

Speaker 4 41:39

That is a little bit hard when you've got If it was like a different situation and it wasn't like my husband, someone I cared about and it was back in my younger days when I was whoring it up big time then yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 41:51

But then your husband is hot, he is very good looking. He's got the most beautiful eyes. We've spoken about this a million times.

Speaker 4 41:58

Yeah, maybe that's why I like Billie Eilish.

Speaker 1 42:01

Think about it, they've both got those piercing blue eyes.

Speaker 2 42:03

Yeah, maybe, maybe. And Piercing blue eyes yeah, maybe, maybe. And your little boy is so cute as well he's got these eyes.

Speaker 4 42:09

He's so adorable. I'm very blessed.

Speaker 1 42:12

Missionary or adventurous, Like I feel like I already know this.

Speaker 2 42:17

What's adventurous?

Speaker 4 42:19

Are we talking about after a full day of work or on a weekend?

Speaker 2 42:23

It's obviously a difference there. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 42:25

That's a good question. That's a good question. That's a good question.

Speaker 4 42:30

Okay, good answer yeah.

Speaker 1 42:31

So I guess, on a weekday let's go, weekday let's finish already.

Speaker 4 42:38

It just depends, probably missionaries, I'm not a hater of missionary I enjoy it.

Speaker 3 42:43

Yeah, no, I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. It's probably one of my favourite positions to be honest.

Speaker 1 42:49

You don't get any cramps that way either.

Speaker 2 42:51

Exactly have you ever faked it just to get over with, not with your current husband yeah definitely, oh yeah, 100%.

Speaker 4 42:58

Is that just because you?

Speaker 2 42:59

didn't enjoy it, or you just wanted it over because it was too long, I don't know, but sometimes sessions can go for a long time yeah, sometimes I can, some guys oh no, but sometimes sessions can go for a long time.

Speaker 4 43:07

Yeah, sometimes they can Some guys just don't know when to stop? Not with me, dave, okay.

Speaker 1 43:11

But no Bitch thinks she's an expert.

Speaker 4 43:14

No, but yeah, I think sometimes it's like, sometimes as a female, like if you know you're not going to get there and it's nothing that they're doing wrong. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, honestly, it's not always something they're doing wrong as a female, but if you just know you're not. And it doesn't mean that sex isn't enjoyable Like I've still loved it, but I just know I'm just not going to get there and I don't want to disappoint. Yeah, I've done it.

Speaker 2 43:38

That's fair enough. I get that. I mean, you know. Or if you've got the next day working early and you to get up and say, okay, that's enough. You died.

Speaker 1 43:46

Yep, yep, yep, yep. You do it all the time, don't you? Oh, I just don't bother you can't fake it though, can you?

Speaker 2 43:51

Matt?

Speaker 1 43:52

I can, you can't. I've got a jar of mayo by my bed, don't you? You've had that mayo on your back a few times, really, no, and you couldn't tell the difference with the smell. He tasted it all, you know where Matt finishes. He's an aftertaster, so have you been with many guys that, but this is a question for both of you, right that have come on themselves then tasted it afterwards Always.

Speaker 4 44:18

I've had guys that have come in me and then got down on me.

Speaker 2 44:22

Oh, no, I can't do that Okay.

Speaker 4 44:24

It's like a guy.

Speaker 2 44:24

I've seen guys that come inside the other guy and then they go down. That's just not me at all.

Speaker 1 44:29

Yeah, we got one of the guys from church that did it Like the first time he came in and he was just like no, I couldn't do it.

Speaker 2 44:36

If it's not in my mouth straight away or it's not on my chest where I can get access to it straight away, then no, really, no, really, no, I can't do it.

Speaker 1 44:44

It just turns me, and I'm not even a. If it's out of your body, I've tasted my own, can I?

Speaker 4 44:49

ask you a real quick how many times have you got cum in your eye?

Speaker 2 44:52

In my eye oh doesn't that stink?

Speaker 4 44:55

Well, I thought I actually.

Speaker 2 44:56

I thought Matt would actually maybe go blind when we were on the next night. No, because this is true.

Speaker 1 45:03

This is true, I'm looking forward to that this year. Are you going this year? Yeah, yeah, I booked tickets November, november.

Speaker 3 45:11

You can't wait, we tried to get Clay to go on, but he's not ready.

Speaker 1 45:14

He's not ready for that part yet.

Speaker 2 45:15

Okay, yep, yep, yep, I find that so interesting, that Like.

Speaker 4 45:19

I remember the first time I met Dave, and you introduced't been before had you, I hadn't been before.

Speaker 1 45:28

yeah, but, yeah, but no, that was actually from sunscreen, though, but it turns out, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 45:34

I didn't get a cataract, it turned out it wasn't.

Speaker 2 45:37

You didn't catch cataracts from sunscreen. Honestly, god, I said I can't see properly, I'm going blind.

Speaker 1 45:48

And he goes you fucking dumb cunt, you just rubbed fucking sunscreen in your eye. Yeah, he had sunscreen in his eye, but it does sting, it does, it does.

Speaker 2 45:52

I've actually shot myself, and when I was younger I definitely copped it in the eye. You shot yourself in the eye, Honestly because you're quite able to shoot big loads when you're younger.

Speaker 1 46:02

What do you mean when you're younger? Sometimes I'm standing aside, sometimes I shoot all the way back, right, if I'm working up, and working up, and working up.

Speaker 2 46:12

I can shoot boom. Decent load. Yeah, if you hold off and keep it going, you know you feel the pressure.

Speaker 1 46:15

Yeah, if you're edge or goon.

Speaker 4 46:17

Can you guys back to back like straight away?

Speaker 1 46:20

Oh, not straight away. I need a Mars bar and coking between All right Trady Sponsored Smoke on Hashtag. Sponsored it is, but I can. Matt can come three or four times, so I can come three or four times in a day, no problem at all.

Speaker 2 46:35

I struggle these days to come once.

Speaker 4 46:37

sometimes I mean it depends on the pressure I put on myself because sometimes I want to keep, especially for females If you are too caught up in yourself and how you look and how you're performing and what you're doing, you do put pressure on yourself. You won't. You just won't get there.

Speaker 2 46:56

And it's frustrating because you want to and I've had it so many times and I get to the point where I delay coming because I'm ready to come and I'll stop because I'm enjoying the moment. I don't want to because I know for me that I probably can only come once now, you know, rather than multiple times, like Matt Studd here can right.

Speaker 1 47:12

So for me?

Speaker 2 47:13

I don't want to go there and then lose that excitement, you know what I mean so I'll abstain, I'll stop myself from coming.

Speaker 1 47:20

But then sometimes he abstains so long that he then can't come at all To the point where I'm just trying so hard, because I would just be one of them, and I get frustrated and I've got to stop because I'm making.

Speaker 2 47:29

Yeah, because you're in your head, yeah yeah yeah, but also it makes you fucking cock her as well, because you're fucking.

Speaker 4 47:34

Can I ask it Okay, no, I have a question, go on. And I'm going to throw this one at you and we haven't spoke about it, but as you've both been, can I ask it? There is a stigma that females cannot give handjobs. Is that true?

Speaker 1 47:49

Oh, look, okay, so we're talking me. I'm like I was like 11 and maybe 18 was the second last one I had, right.

Speaker 4 48:01

Okay. So I could honestly say there's no chance Switching this over to you, dave, so for me I, because there's a big stigma that like females can't give handjobs.

Speaker 2 48:11

I think it's both female and male. Because for me I think to be honest with you, the only person that can really get you off is yourself, because you know the technique, you know the pressure. It's like a girl fingering herself. Right? You know yourself more than anybody how you do it. Yeah. So yourself, right, you know, you know yourself more than anybody how you do it. Yeah. So for me, if I'm wanking off, I use certain fingers and I know how, how hard, yeah, yeah, where.

Speaker 2 48:32

If matt was a jerk me off, yes, he can get me there, but it might take longer or it might not. I have to just lose the rhythm you're trying to find, if you even watch some of the porn movies as well. I mean, the guy might be jerking him off or sucking him off whoever, and in the end, the the actual guy himself takes over because it's like it's not that I've ever watched no, no, no, but I think that I think it's a more of a personal personal thing, I don't think I had a massage therapist right.

Speaker 1 48:55

All right, you're happy ending so quickly then? Because?

Speaker 2 48:57

they're actually pretty good at it.

Speaker 1 48:59

Well, maybe it's the excitement of being touched, maybe because I love massage people like when you go for a massage right as a guy right um, when you go for a massage, right as a guy, right if you go to a massage place, and then sometimes they'll offer the extras Never been there have to get the name and number after the show.

Speaker 1 49:16

Okay, Well, I was just about to out them on one thing. No, no, I go to a place in Newtown, right, okay, and 90% of the time I go there because it's one of the only places in Sydney that you can actually go naked right For a naked massage, right, male Male massage right. They do female massages. They're female masseurs there as well, yep, but I get a male to do mine and 90% of the time they've been really respectful and it's just a massage, because that's what you're paying for, that's what you're getting. But occasionally they'll give you the little tingle and the little touch and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 49:54

So how do they let you know?

Speaker 2 49:55

They let you know I think he lets them know by getting an erection so big that they have to let you.

Speaker 1 50:01

So, as a female, how would you let them?

Speaker 4 50:02

know, Maybe just because if they, know happy endings are a thing too. I'm pretty sure Kyle and Jackie O spoke about this, and Jackie oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2 50:10

I think it's how you put your hands. So if you're laying down and your hand is there rubbing against him, it gives him an indication that you're up for it If you're actually touching him.

Speaker 1 50:20

Remember in Queensland Dave's massage guy and this, and this was a shopping centre in Massard.

Speaker 2 50:24

We were going to see Wicked.

Speaker 1 50:25

Right Before that we went from Massard. Wicked was amazing, FYI.

Speaker 2 50:28

Matt organised it, so he went in first with a different guy.

Speaker 1 50:31

Different guy, and then Dave went in. But Dave just had his hands on the side of the bed and so when the masseur was walking past he was kind of rubbing his cough on Dave's hand.

Speaker 4 50:41

Do you know how many times I've had a mop on my head?

Speaker 1 50:43

Oh really, yeah, no, but what I'm saying is like that was a cue, like I'm lying there, put your fingers on the side of the bed, wiggle them around and they're like in front of me and they lean over and I their groins pushed up against my head.

Speaker 2 50:57

How do what?

Speaker 1 50:57

about the suction cup market on the left side of your phone.

Speaker 4 51:02

I'm not like you know, I'm pretty easy going.

Speaker 1 51:05

Yeah, used to be just pretty easy, well Used to be.

Speaker 3 51:09

Are you? Talking male massage or no, female Okay or maybe, but I've never read into it too much Normally with a guy.

Speaker 4 51:18

You can feel their genitals from the outside, exactly, but I've never read into it. Iitals, you've got to form them. I'm just like, oh, she's just trying to lean over and reach.

Speaker 2 51:25

I mean, maybe just grab her hand and just stick it in your moot and see what she does.

Speaker 3 51:28

I don't know, that's a word, moot.

Speaker 4 51:31

I don't know, I dropped it.

Speaker 1 51:37

It's very descriptive.

Speaker 4 51:38

It's way better than cunt and gash Gash.

Speaker 1 51:41

I'm going to start calling people. You're such a moot I'm never saying cunt again. This doesn't seem to feel good. Definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely, all right.

Speaker 4 51:58

We're off track. We're off track.

Speaker 1 51:59

No way, no way. So we're're gonna do this segment that we we usually we. We started out with this segment way back in our very first episode, because there was three of us there, right? But we couldn't do it clearly, I wasn't invited, you weren't there at that show, right, but it's really hard to do with just two people, so we're gonna do this segment spit swallow gargle.

Speaker 4 52:24

that choice is yours, two people, so we're going to do this segment.

Speaker 1 52:34

That's right. We're going to do spit, swallow and gargle with Miami and Dave and Matt obviously as well.

Speaker 2 52:38

But we're giving Miami the choice.

Speaker 1 52:41

How this works is we're going to tell you about three hot celebrities, right, and you're only allowed to choose whether you're going to spit, swallow or gargle, but you have to assign one of those to each of those celebrities.

Speaker 2 52:52

Now we're giving Miami the choice of the people today.

Speaker 4 52:55

Well, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 52:57

We didn't tell her what it was for.

Speaker 4 52:59

Now I'm going to have a hard time choosing. I know that's the beauty of this.

Speaker 1 53:04

So the three celebrities super hot Hollywood hunks. Right, we've got Jason Momoa. Hang on. I need to put a stipulation here.

Speaker 4 53:13

Yeah, definitely With the beard. We've spoken about this. I don't know what he's doing shaving that beard.

Speaker 1 53:19

All right, Jason Momoa with the beard Right, Charles Charlie Hooman Hunman or something like that?

Speaker 2 53:26

What's he playing? How do you count? You said he played Jack's.

Speaker 4 53:29

Sons of Anarchy. What's his name?

Speaker 2 53:31

Tell us again, because Matt can't read it.

Speaker 4 53:33

Yeah, I'm not going to try and guess. Okay, right.

Speaker 1 53:36

And then Travis Famul Fam, and then Travis Famul Famul.

Speaker 4 53:39

Vikings he's Australian guys. Okay, yep, you're going to have to show me pictures because I don't know who.

Speaker 2 53:45

I know Jason Momoa.

Speaker 1 53:52

Well, matt, show Dave some photos so we can understand where my verdict is coming from. And then Joseph Ikora who is? Tommy from the Power.

Speaker 4 53:59

Now a lot of people well, dave, you're going to look at a photo of him and go. He's not Nicole's, miami's type. But, he is. The character he plays has me completely Because he looks scary to me. Yeah, he is. He's violent and he's rough.

Speaker 2 54:19

See that one down the bottom looks different. With the grey I mean no, he's not my type.

Speaker 4 54:23

No, but I think it's the charisma in the character that he plays.

Speaker 2 54:28

You go a lot for not necessarily the looks, but you go for the bad guys.

Speaker 4 54:34

And there's definitely definitely the rough looking ones A lot of Tommy.

Speaker 1 54:38

Yeah, and who's this one? That one's Charlie Hunman. Oh, he's hot. He is, and then this is the last one.

Speaker 4 54:48

I know what Jason.

Speaker 1 54:48

Momoa looks like yeah, obviously.

Speaker 4 54:50

Have you seen him without his beard, though?

Speaker 1 54:51

I did. He didn't look good. No, I don't know what's he doing.

Speaker 4 54:54

I don't like him. I went from being wetter than the Pacific Ocean to drier than the Sahara Desert when I saw that photo.

Speaker 2 55:01

Wow, I don't know what was the reason for it. Why did he shave?

Speaker 4 55:03

it, was it for a role I don't know. There's no reason that's ever going to be suitable on us.

Speaker 1 55:06

And then there's the Travis Fimmel. Oh no, I don't do him what.

Speaker 4 55:15

See what about there? Show me, show, put it down Thud one. You want the thud one. Look at that no no no, you reckon, he looks like Dave Dave Dave.

Speaker 1 55:23

What about there in Vikings he looks like a homeless person. What about there in Vikings? He looks good there.

Speaker 2 55:29

His eyes are piercing blue, aren't they?

Speaker 1 55:30

Yeah, they're beautiful, yeah in Vikings, he looks pretty good.

Speaker 2 55:36

Yeah, no, he's still not my type.

Speaker 4 55:37

Dave, I showed you him before and you were a big fan.

Speaker 2 55:41

No, I don't like that one at all no, not that one at all.

Speaker 1 55:45

So anyway so oh sorry, that's all right. She's getting de-extracted Up a bucket, so we're going with four are we?

Speaker 2 55:51

We're going with four people.

Speaker 4 55:52

Four people because oh, because I couldn't choose. Okay, Travis and Charlie very similar in ways, the way they look. And sometimes I get them confused.

Speaker 2 56:02

I need to know.

Speaker 4 56:03

And then I couldn't pick between the two.

Speaker 2 56:05

I need to know which. What was that last one Guy?

Speaker 1 56:08

Travis Fimble. That's the last one, is it?

Speaker 2 56:10

Yeah, yeah and the one, before that the other one.

Speaker 1 56:14

Charlie Hummond.

Speaker 2 56:15

I like him yeah.

Speaker 1 56:17

Right, and then Joseph Sikora.

Speaker 4 56:20

Who is Tommy from the Power?

Speaker 1 56:23

for anyone who doesn't know. And then Jason Momoa, who we all know so, Joseph. Sikora Right. So who would you spit, who would you swallow, who would you gargle? Now let me tell you. I personally would think that gargling is showing off. It's like the highest praise, right?

Speaker 2 56:47

Spit is obviously something that you would be least likely See. To me, swallowing is the best praise. Yeah, see, swallowing is just. You want that baby.

Speaker 1 56:55

You should be swallowing everyone. All right, Everyone should be getting swallowed.

Speaker 2 56:59

Yeah.

Speaker 4 56:59

I'm generally a swallowing. Everyone, all right, everyone should be getting swallowed. Yeah, I'm generally what we're gonna do with the four I'm gonna swallow. I don't have enough energy to spit it out, no, and the clean up.

Speaker 1 57:07

So how are?

Speaker 2 57:08

we gonna do this.

Speaker 1 57:08

There's only three it's all right, you're gonna. Maybe you can do one of them. Can we do spit?

Speaker 4 57:14

swallow gargle and sm place.

Speaker 1 57:18

That could be good hey and smear Okay, yeah, All right, cool Spit swallow gargle smear All right, God. Oh, my God, I'm dying.

Speaker 4 57:34

This is going to be really hard. All right. So who are?

Speaker 1 57:36

you going to Okay. So, jason Momoa, what are you going to do with him? Come on.

Speaker 4 57:42

Look, I'm really going to the Danny Boy show you can have this Can't, I just have them all at once and just.

Speaker 1 57:48

Do the whole lot with all of them. No, you can't Just take it all and swallow some.

Speaker 2 57:53

But you've got to have one person that is more for your type than the other.

Speaker 3 57:57

Oh, this is really hard Jason.

Speaker 1 57:58

Momoa.

Speaker 3 57:59

If I said Jason Momoa without the beard, you know that.

Speaker 4 58:01

No, no, right, that's a no. Jason Momoa behind the. He doesn't even get in the bedroom. He's not.

Speaker 1 58:06

He's not coming in the door, I know right, but with the beard. With the beard, aquaman.

Speaker 4 58:13

Dressed in his Moonman outfit and no, no, and the character he played on Games of Thrones.

Speaker 2 58:18

Yeah, never watched it, so I wouldn't know.

Speaker 4 58:22

Okay, all right. Concentrate Gargle, swallow, spit Smear. I'm not spitting any of them. What a fucking waste. These are gorgeous men.

Speaker 2 58:33

You heard it from them I don't even know.

Speaker 1 58:36

All right, okay, let's go with.

Speaker 4 58:37

I'm not going to insult any of these men by spitting it out.

Speaker 1 58:40

Who are you going to swallow? All of them, obviously. Travis. Travis, you're going to swallow. All right, you're going to swallow Travis, right? Mm-hmm, all right. Who are you going to gargle?

Speaker 3 59:01

Given that, I think gargling is the best.

Speaker 4 59:07

Come on Charlie.

Speaker 1 59:08

Charlie. You're going to gargle, Charlie, All right, so right. So the other obvious who are you going to smear?

Speaker 4 59:15

No, no, I've changed. I'm going to gargle Tommy from the power. You're going to gargle Tommy. Yeah, who are you going to?

Speaker 1 59:18

smear it's going to to gargle Tommy from the power You're going to gargle Tommy, yeah who are you going to smear?

Speaker 4 59:23

It's going to have to be Jason with the beard.

Speaker 1 59:25

You're going to have to be smearing. Jason.

Speaker 2 59:27

Okay, you're going to have to love babies all over your body. Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 59:30

And so, then, you're going to spit, swallow, you're going to have to spit. Who am I spitting, charlie? Who are you swallowing? She's swallowing Travis.

Speaker 4 59:41

Oh, okay, yeah, I'll swallow that. I'll swallow that, regurgitate it and swallow it again.

Speaker 1 59:48

Swallow that spit it down put it in your pores, then pick it back out.

Speaker 3 59:53

Oh no, those babies are not leaving my body. Get a straw, all right, dave, all right.

Speaker 2 59:58

That's a bit like pelching isn't it?

Speaker 1 1:00:00

Oh no, alright, dave, what are you doing? Okay?

Speaker 2 1:00:03

Right, what's the first one You're going to do?

Speaker 1 1:00:06

What are you going to do With Jason? Jason, are you going?

Speaker 2 1:00:10

to yeah, yeah, jason. I put I'm going to Gargle Jason, you're going to gargle Jason. Yep, yep, yep and I'm going to spit. Is it Josh, josh, joseph, joseph, yeah.

Speaker 4 1:00:27

You haven't watched the power. Yeah, I'm just looking at Watch the power and then tell me.

Speaker 2 1:00:33

We're just looking at looks here Smear is Travis Yep, and then my favorite is definitely going to swallow.

Speaker 3 1:00:42

Charlie, charlie, yeah, charlie's a good looking guy.

Speaker 4 1:00:45

Have you watched Sons of Anarchy? No, but I will be, you will be, I will be yes, there's lots of sex scenes in it too, with Charlie Whether male or male or just female male? No, sorry, male and female, unfortunately, okay.

Speaker 1 1:00:56

Unfortunately for us, yes.

Speaker 2 1:00:57

Unfortunately for us, yes, we still get turned on by it. Yeah, correct, correct. What about you, matt?

Speaker 1 1:01:02

So I'm definitely going to gargle Charlie, because I think he's fucking hot.

Speaker 2 1:01:07

I think he's hot, Really.

Speaker 4 1:01:08

I like Charlie and you guys. He wasn't even in your radar until I said it.

Speaker 1 1:01:13

But I've seen parts of Sons of Anarchy, yeah, so I'm definitely going to definitely him. I'm going to swallow Jason, right, because I think he's hot, right, I like a big man.

Speaker 4 1:01:26

I'd like to think he could pick me up. I love a big man, right.

Speaker 1 1:01:28

I really do. Yeah, big man, I like a small man.

Speaker 4 1:01:32

I'm not fussy, you're not fussy, I'm not fussy, I'm not fussy, I'm not fussy, I'm pretty rough. So I feel like with the small men I'm going to hurt them.

Speaker 2 1:01:39

Yeah, that's when you need to get the peg in too low.

Speaker 1 1:01:41

So then I'm going to smear Travis, yeah, because I think he looks like he'd have nice cum as well. Yeah, right, yeah, what Teen or thick, no it'd be thick enough, it'd be like viscous, and apparently he's really down to earth actually, and apparently he's really down to earth actually.

Speaker 4 1:02:01

Okay, he's Australian. Okay, have you watched Vikings?

Speaker 1 1:02:04

I've seen parts of it. I've seen parts of it. It's Ragnar.

Speaker 3 1:02:08

So yeah.

Speaker 1 1:02:09

Yeah, and then I'm obviously going to spit Joseph. So I think collectively yeah.

Speaker 4 1:02:14

Yeah, poor Joseph, poor Joseph. No one wants to swallow his babies, unfortunately.

Speaker 2 1:02:22

Maybe if he was here and maybe in the present moment he was only one maybe I would, but probably not.

Speaker 1 1:02:28

Yeah, I would. So, all right, we haven't really prepared anything for this last segment, but we're going to do it anyway. They're grumpy.

Speaker 3 1:02:36

They're gay. They've got something to say. From traffic cues to crooked cues. They'll bitch it all away.

Speaker 4 1:02:43

Gabe and Matt's Pet Peeves.

Speaker 1 1:02:46

So this is our Pet Peeves segment, and while I say we haven't prepared anything, we're always fucking angry about something or other. I've got a whole list of things that I've got. Dave's got a list that's way bigger than mine, and Miami will probably just find something as she goes no doubt you two are like grumpy old men Can. I just say, we are.

Speaker 4 1:03:09

I know everyone can't see you, but yous have both put your glasses on, yous have got your notepads and pens and you're ready to.

Speaker 1 1:03:16

That's great. We're fucking going Karen on this shit it.

Speaker 4 1:03:20

it's like yous have had this list ready and you guys are just like slivering over getting it out.

Speaker 1 1:03:24

You know what, though? You know what? Like today, we went to the shops.

Speaker 4 1:03:29

Oh, Dave, this could be trouble.

Speaker 1 1:03:30

This could be trouble and as soon as this happened, I'm sitting there going that's gone on the fucking list and Dave's gone. Oh, it's already on mine.

Speaker 2 1:03:47

So we were fighting over this so we can take it away people on escalators or travelators that don't stand to the left and take up the whole fucking thing so you can't get past them.

Speaker 1 1:03:53

Fucking Karen, this bitch on the fucking. I'm calling her Karen because I can see.

Speaker 3 1:03:58

I was reading her.

Speaker 1 1:04:00

Cunty Karen. I was vibing her Mutty Karen. No, it's Mutty Martha, mutty Martha, yeah, it's.

Speaker 4 1:04:07

Cunty Karen and Mutty Martha.

Speaker 1 1:04:09

We should write children's books. Oh my God.

Speaker 3 1:04:13

Top sellers.

Speaker 2 1:04:13

Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1 1:04:15

This bitch would have been the kind of person on a bloody local Facebook mum's page to complain about the people behind her trying to get past Right. I could just feel her writing a post saying so she had a pram. I was at Penrith today and these guys wanted to get past on an escalator. I could just feel the slag fucking. Well, she was with her mother.

Speaker 2 1:04:36

Yeah, and the feral children and the children, yeah, but she, instead of standing behind her in front so they could talk face to face and be polite and courteous as normal people are, stand to the left and you can pass.

Speaker 4 1:04:47

Look, yeah, Generally it's like rule of thumb. You just sort of like she had every indication that people were trying to get past.

Speaker 2 1:04:54

She just stood there and just oh, look at my children and all this.

Speaker 4 1:04:58

She's definitely a muddy Martha yeah, she was definitely yeah.

Speaker 1 1:05:01

I might just want to throw her off the escalator yeah, I wanted to punch her in the face on I would never. I would never into violence.

Speaker 2 1:05:07

We both looked at each other and we said and we, we looked at each other and we said podcast, yep, yep, straight away Podcast, for sure, for sure. Okay, so what about you, matt?

Speaker 1 1:05:16

What else did? What else Like not wiping down counters after cooking?

Speaker 3 1:05:21

right.

Speaker 1 1:05:22

I'm sorry, let's talk about you know, hang on.

Speaker 4 1:05:25

hang on First stop. Let's just address the elephant in the room.

Speaker 1 1:05:28

Since when does Matt ever fucking cook in the first place.

Speaker 3 1:05:30

I'm a fucking great cook. He did say that.

Speaker 4 1:05:33

Other than putting something in the air fryer what counties. Are you cooking on? So I'm talking okay.

Speaker 1 1:05:41

So if I'm at work, for example, this is probably where I'm talking about more than anything else, because I feel like I'm and again you might be right, I don't cook often. No, you don't. When I say might be right, I mean you are right.

Speaker 2 1:05:55

So it's technically you that's You've got other skills.

Speaker 4 1:05:56

Other skills man However.

Speaker 1 1:05:57

I've got plenty of other skills, but here at home there's never an issue because I've got like those little wipes that freaking In your top drawer.

Speaker 4 1:06:06

It was you that actually brought them over, I know.

Speaker 3 1:06:11

I was about and then also.

Speaker 1 1:06:12

Brittany had them at her house as well. Yes, she did, and I sat there and I go wow, I need those in my life.

Speaker 1 1:06:17

So you guys are never going to be responsible for this, but especially at work. I'll walk in there and I think to myself I don't have to do this at home because, number one, I never cook, so they never get dirty, right, but I have tons of these wipes everywhere in my home. But here I come to work and I've got a fucking clean up after adults. I'm thinking it grinds my gears. Sorry, sucks. But yeah, I'm not fazed by it.

Speaker 2 1:06:44

What have you got Miami? I just wipe it off to myself.

Speaker 4 1:06:46

I'll let Dave go, because I don't really. I wasn't prepared for this, so I'd rather just like, sort of like.

Speaker 2 1:06:51

Chime in, chime in. They're just like sort of like chime in, chime in. As you all know, one of my pet peeves is always traffic related problem always or noise. On this week's pet peeve I've got people that fucking take up two parking slots that can't park properly. They either park halfway over the line or so tight on the line that you can't get your car in the next slot to it especially.

Speaker 4 1:07:10

I've got quite a big bum yep so there's nothing worse it's very curvy.

Speaker 2 1:07:15

It's nice. I want to see big bums.

Speaker 4 1:07:17

It's very nothing worse than trying to squeeze out and in.

Speaker 2 1:07:20

But you've also got to get your child out of the car as well.

Speaker 4 1:07:23

Oh no, I leave him in when I go shopping.

Speaker 3 1:07:26

No, I'm joking, I'm joking.

Speaker 1 1:07:27

Totally joking. I'm totally joking. I only leave him in when I go to the casino.

Speaker 4 1:07:32

No, that's right, and the brothel no, seriously no. But there's nothing worse than trying to like and it's like. Oh, I'm trying to hold the door, trying to suck everything in.

Speaker 2 1:07:46

But when you can see it's purposely done. They just turned in and haven't bothered to even check in. You know what I mean If I know that I'm close to a line or an edge. I mean if I know that I'm close to a line or an edge.

Speaker 4 1:07:57

I'll make sure I reverse back and get properly into the slot.

Speaker 2 1:08:02

And we all know grandma over here would, also because there's a thing today that happened with Matthew.

Speaker 3 1:08:07

We went to Mr.

Speaker 2 1:08:08

Watkins for breakfast, matt decided he was going to park in two slots.

Speaker 1 1:08:12

Hang on, what do?

Speaker 2 1:08:13

you mean.

Speaker 1 1:08:13

Hang on Inadvertently.

Speaker 4 1:08:16

Did you have your glasses on Grandma?

Speaker 1 1:08:17

Yeah, but I parked right. I drove in to the spot right because there was a big space right. But then I tried to drive up right and I got as close to the car in front of me as I possibly could and I'm sitting there and I'm going like and you got out, I got out and I've got this stupid car in front of me right, it's taken up one and a half spots right, so it's pushed me back, Pushed me back right.

Speaker 1 1:08:41

So I said, I can't even park in my spot. So I said to my wife what do you have to reverse? Dave said well, why don't you just reverse into the actual whole spot that is behind you? Then I a lady standing in her car and she just chuckled and she just sort of nodded, as if saying yeah you could have done that dickhead.

Speaker 2 1:08:56

So it was funny because I've sitting there going, but you didn't leave it there, so that was good.

Speaker 1 1:09:00

I didn't. I got back in and actually moved it into that spot, because that actually did make sense there. But yeah, but parking in two spots is a bit of a bitch as well.

Speaker 4 1:09:11

I've got one. I've just thought of one, and it's for all the mums out there yeah so I know I don't know how many mums are listening, but it's about thousands. Pet peeve is being the default parent oh so I don't know if you know where I'm going with this, but being the so, my husband is a tradie yep so it's not by choice, it's not because he's lazy, it's not anything like that, but I obviously work in a job where my work is more flexible.

Speaker 1 1:09:43

Yep Not for long. I mean the flexibility's gone, not the job.

Speaker 4 1:09:48

Yes, but the issue is with that comes a lot more responsibility.

Speaker 2 1:09:54

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:09:55

I'm the one.

Speaker 1 1:09:56

The childcare center calls.

Speaker 4 1:09:58

Yes, I'm changing my meetings when I need to do childcare pick up.

Speaker 2 1:10:02

Do you feel resentful though?

Speaker 4 1:10:04

Sometimes you do.

Speaker 2 1:10:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes you don't. It's not a nasty thing to think about, though.

Speaker 4 1:10:08

No, so I'm doing the drop off every day and getting myself ready and bubs ready and doing daycare drop-off and trying to get to the meetings.

Speaker 2 1:10:17

I do have a high.

Speaker 4 1:10:18

I know you wouldn't believe it, but I have a pretty important job you do. Trying to get to the meetings in time, trying to prepare.

Speaker 1 1:10:25

Running the brothel is very important.

Speaker 4 1:10:28

Nothing more important than being a madam.

Speaker 2 1:10:30

I can slightly correlate to that because obviously, when I was in my worst state, when I was in injury. I wasn't really working so predominantly I was looking after Adam and he was like kindy and also, like you know, primary school years and I felt that I was doing everything. Going home cooking, I felt exhausted. I mean, obviously my ex, she was working, but when she came home I was like please, obviously my ex.

Speaker 2 1:10:54

She was working like yeah yeah, but when she came home I was like, please take over, but it never happened, I mean, but you feel, that, that resentment thing.

Speaker 4 1:11:00

Well, you're not. You're not putting in, but they are, they are putting it in. They are, and it's not their choice.

Speaker 2 1:11:04

No, exactly right, and that's exactly it it's just not their choice, but it's naturally a woman's, so it's always pushed on the percent.

Speaker 4 1:11:12

An example this week would be that my little one was unwell and couldn't go to daycare.

Speaker 2 1:11:16

Yep, so you sacrificed everything.

Speaker 4 1:11:18

Well, there was no conversation, there was no she thought it was medically assumed. It was like well, I can work from home, so I'm going to work and I'm going to stay home and I'm going to look after him. Yep, and it's just that.

Speaker 2 1:11:31

it's just having that default. It's taken for granted, isn't it?

Speaker 4 1:11:33

yeah, it's that default parent role yeah and it's not to say, it's an intentional and it's not to say that my husband does it on purpose, because he does it and he's an extremely hard worker. Yeah, but it's just and he's cute it's.

Speaker 1 1:11:46

It's just about like when you would get that all the time automatically automatically, because I know that I've spoken with friends that they're the ones that always get the phone call yeah, 100 why don't you call my husband?

Speaker 2 1:12:06

he's on the list yeah, 100 it's almost like being a single parent, I suppose, and to some degree, because you're left with all the responsibility. Yeah, well, it is I mean work, child and everything else, so it's exhausting.

Speaker 4 1:12:18

Yeah, it is, especially when you just know like there's no conversation.

Speaker 2 1:12:22

It's just you. I get that. Yeah, yeah, Definitely for sure.

Speaker 3 1:12:25

So that's my pet peeve, that's good.

Speaker 1 1:12:26

Very valid.

Speaker 2 1:12:35

Very, and you're going to relate to this and obviously you'll relate to it from a different perspective because you've been a mum when you go to pubs or clubs and they have children.

Speaker 4 1:12:40

Be very careful, Dave.

Speaker 2 1:12:42

I know we had this conversation.

Speaker 4 1:12:43

Be very careful, I know.

Speaker 2 1:12:45

but you'll understand, but you won't be one of these people.

Speaker 4 1:12:48

That will do this. You know me as a mum.

Speaker 2 1:12:50

An example we went out to a pub the other day.

Speaker 1 1:12:54

Is this my pet peeve from last week? No, the loud child that was screaming. We didn't mention that I did it was screaming. No, it couldn't have been last week actually, because we didn't do one Exactly Fucking idiot. Sorry.

Speaker 2 1:13:07

So, yes, this is your pet peeve as well, but we didn't do a podcast. So basically, we're at this pub and they had a party going on for a five year old, had multiple kids there and these kids, initially, were well behaved, playing on the games and then decided to have the birthday cake ceremony. Well, holy fucking shit, these kids were fucking feral.

Speaker 2 1:13:26

They were screaming, but their parents were stood there and doing nothing right one of the mothers had the fucking knife in her hand and she was like pointing at the kid, telling him to shut the fuck up, give the kid sugar.

Speaker 4 1:13:41

It's exorcism. You need a fucking exorcism.

Speaker 2 1:13:44

What happened was one woman took this devil of a kid and I will only describe this devil of a kid right, and I'm not joking. She then brought it and stood right behind this kid laid on his back and had in the tantrum and I'm like, fuck, right out of my space please can't you take it to the poker a little bit?

Speaker 2 1:14:03

further away to right in my space now and I was like fuck, this is doing my fucking head in. Please get the fuck out of it. You know I mean. So I know you're more respectful and you would have taken your kid out. Yeah, back to the car you would have said that's enough but your kid wouldn't do that, though, because your kid's a little bit more respectful. Too well, you brought him up enough to look. You would hope, but and he can't control everything.

Speaker 4 1:14:26

It's like everything no and he does have tantrums. Yes, he's just turned four, so he can have quite a few tantrums when he wants to, especially if he's overtired.

Speaker 2 1:14:37

But you dealing with it would be more. You know you would take him outside.

Speaker 4 1:14:40

Oh no, I just would have left and pretend he's not mine.

Speaker 2 1:14:46

High five that way.

Speaker 1 1:14:47

Yeah, pickle, pickle, I get that. Yeah, so that was a bit of people.

Speaker 2 1:14:51

I mean because I you know I think no, I get it. So that was a better people. I mean cause I you know I was being. I think no, I get it.

Speaker 4 1:14:54

When I was single, I hated love God. I used to call them love goblins.

Speaker 1 1:14:58

Goblins, goblins, goblins, goblins. Yeah, they should have been gobbled, yeah, cause they're just like these little and I Less tolerant to noise and stuff.

Speaker 2 1:15:12

I'm a cranky old man. You are a cranky old man, I'm a muff.

Speaker 1 1:15:14

Cranky muff. Cranky mutt, mutt Cranky muff.

Speaker 4 1:15:18

He can be a muddy Martha, sometimes Muddy.

Speaker 1 1:15:20

Martha, muddy Martha, I think that's our pet peeves and that's pretty much our show, yep.

Speaker 2 1:15:29

It's definitely been a long one. We've chatted a lot. I You've enjoyed it. It's great, yeah it was very confronting.

Speaker 4 1:15:34

I'm not going to lie Like the microphone in the face.

Speaker 2 1:15:37

You've done very well.

Speaker 4 1:15:38

The only way I can describe it is you know, the first time you have like a cock in your face and you just don't know what to do with it and it's like intimidating.

Speaker 1 1:15:44

I can't remember back to when I was 11.

Speaker 4 1:15:50

Intimidating, confronting, and it's just like at the start. But you've done very well.

Speaker 1 1:15:52

Great to have you on, so thank you. You're welcome any time.

Speaker 4 1:15:56

I'll send you my bill.

Speaker 1 1:15:59

You got paid in fucking wedges.

Speaker 4 1:16:00

I was going to say you got paid in wedges, but you bought the wedges Hang on All right.

Speaker 1 1:16:06

So I've been Matt, I've been Dave, as usual.

Speaker 4 1:16:08

And I'm Miami.

Speaker 1 1:16:10

Bye, we've been your Fully Grown Homos and we look forward to opening your mind, your ears and your curiosities. Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe and share our podcast with your curious friends. You can contact us at Fullygrownhomospodcast at gmailcom or any of our socials by the same name. Fully Grown Homos Podcast you.