We Sail, Snack, Snorkel, Sing, And Spill The Truth About Cruising

Sun on our faces, spa humming, and a sea breeze that made everything feel lighter—we hit record from the Oasis Bar on Royal Caribbean’s Anthem of the Seas and unpack the kind of cruise that wins you over with little surprises. Think: a balcony that turned into a sunrise cinema for the GoPro, a refreshment package that made the smoothie bar the sleeper MVP, and entertainment that didn’t just pass time, it raised the bar.

Our review gets specific. The Gift landed like a tight West End show with stunning vocals and staging, while We Will Rock You came roaring back with sharper choreography and bulletproof harmonies. We stuck around for the chaotic joy of the Love and Marriage game show, then accidentally turned karaoke into a finals run by leaning on showmanship, not perfection. Nights at the piano bar with Zoe Jackson were the heartbeat—requests, deep-cut knowledge, and a voice with Carole King warmth and Bonnie Tyler grit.

Airlie Beach delivered the postcard moment. We booked Red Cat Adventures directly and saved big versus the ship price, then snorkelled live reef renewal sites recovering from Cyclone Debbie, said hello to George the giant grouper, and stood above Whitehaven’s shifting turquoise at Hill Inlet. Back on shore, we met makers who deserve your clicks—Bogan Apparel’s cheeky Australiana, Lucky Bums AU’s recycled fabrics, and coastal homewares built with care.

We stay honest about the frictions: a Wiggles sailing means more kids and less respect for adult-only zones than we hoped, smoking areas sit awkwardly near family space, elevators can be a test of patience, and buffet etiquette needs a gentle reset. But cruising still works for us. Strip away decision fatigue, follow the fun, and you find a city at sea where community forms, art surprises, and smart planning pays off—right down to the casino points strategy that can unlock free cruises if you play with intent.

If you love real reviews with practical tips, queer community notes, and a nudge to book the tour that’s actually worth it, this one’s for you. Listen, share it with a travel friend, and leave us a review—what’s the one thing you never skip on a cruise?

Transcript

Section A

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Welcome to Fully Growing Homer Day. Navigating today's world full of inquisitive friends questions about gay life and the unexplored activities of a life lived as a fully grown homo.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

We will discuss the gay 101s, sex, sexuality, and topics we don't even know yet. As we want your input onto what you want to hear. Nothing is off limit, so email us on fully grown homospodcast at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Or message any of our socials at Fully Grown Homos Podcast. We are. Hi Dave. Hey Matt, how are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Good, what are you doing? I'm sitting with you on the Oasis. No, we're on the anthem of the Seas. Anthem of the Sea. Rural Caribbean Anthem of the Seas. We're sitting in the Oasis Bar uh on the front of the ship.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Which is at the back of the ship, at the adult only area. On the lounges. Yeah, just chilling here by the spa. It's just above the spa, which is um probably you can hear in the background. Great perving content absolutely when when we get some hobbies that actually come in. And it's also a great view because we're at the front of the ship and looking forward. Is this the front?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

So we're on day six now, almost back, heading back towards Sydney. Yep. So where have you been, Matt?

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Where have we been? Well, let's just start with how we got on the boat, hey. So our boarding was really easy. Um, really easy, a little bit of a wait, but that's nothing to do.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Well we boarded early because the ship had had a problem with its propeller, so it had skipped the previous cruise. Um, so everything was pretty much on board, was ready, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yeah, everything was on board, and um we didn't realise because we were sitting having a coffee and chit chatting, and um then we got down and like boarding was open till 2.30, and we were allowed to be on from basically one o'clock anyway, so it was like, yep, cool. So we got on board and went to our room which was um a balcony room on level nine, yeah, and it was really nice. It is really nice, it's it is really nice, and look, while I definitely wouldn't pay extra for a balcony, there have been some like it's been nice to actually sort of go out there and look into the ocean. Yeah, um it's been good for your podcast uh for your uh GoPro. Yeah, I've got some great um sunrises and sunsets and some time lapses and stuff like that, which I'll post on my own socials. So if you follow me, follow me over there as well. Or no one famous. Um, but yeah, um, but yeah, so so basically it's a seven-day cruise or seven seven days, eight nights. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, something like that. And um, it's been great, very relaxing. Um, we won the cruise back in I think it was September last year, I think it was. Yep. From Panthers.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

And basically it was just a seven-day, eight-night trip to Ellie Beach. We went Sundays in the Brisbane area, or Queensland, I should say.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Yeah, which is beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Um, on board, let's go through on board first and then we'll go about our adventures offshore. So um on board, great, great, great, great food choices um for everyone. Anyone that wants to eat on board or needs to eat, there's something for everyone. They're fussy eaters, they will actually make your meals personally for you as well. Yeah, um, and um we haven't tried room service.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

No, uh about two. We haven't needed to. I think getting out of the room is sort of more of a priority for us.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

There's so much food on board, it's unbelievable.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Look, we we've learned even now that you know, because it's there, you don't have to eat it. And you know, there's so much wasted food that happens, people fill their place up, half it gets thrown away, and I just think, well, why bother? You know, I mean you don't eat like that at home, so why eat like on the ship?

SPEAKER_01 4:25

And on board here, for the first time that we've seen, was um a smoothie bar, right? And protein so far. And we discovered those only a couple of days ago, and bloody sensational. Yeah, fantastic, I gotta say. That's a positive for us because we've got the drinks package, but not the alcoholic drinks package. Yeah, we've got the refreshment package, and that's actually included in it. Um and well worth it because we've definitely been having some of those, so we look like total muscle builders now. Yeah, um, when you come back, you'll see us where buff as. Um but yeah, so look, food, tick, accommodation, tick. Shows. Shows. Oh my god, like oh my god. Next level. The gift, like I love that, like it was good, like a lot of shows. A lot of people were saying, What was the gift? And it was all about the gift of life, basically. Yes, and it was a guy that basically that well it turns out that all of them were dead, and the gift of life that he was giving to his children and stuff like that, and yeah, I think anyway. I think so, that's what I thought. But regardless of what it was even about, if you didn't need to, if you couldn't find out, um the singing, 11 out of 10. Yeah, the dancing, fucking 15 out of 10.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

It was the stage, the staging, the props, the background was amazing. Yeah, it was so well done.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

It was like a proper theatre production.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

It was like a West End thing, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 5:52

You know, it was really, really, really good. Like, and they crammed everything into a 45-minute show, kept it interesting. Like anyone that knows me knows I'm a bit of a battery hen, so if it goes a little bit dark, I fall asleep. Yeah, and I stayed awake the whole time, so that was a that's a good rating for me.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Yeah, um, and then last night we went and seen we'll talk about that later on, but I mean after that gif, we stayed in the cinema, didn't we? Or the theatre room to watch a game show.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Oh, we did too, we did. We seen the Love and Marriage show. Which was fucking hilarious. Where they get three couples up.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Um, explain it, Dave. So basically, yeah, so the the host of the show was one of the um the managers, the the entertainment directly. Yeah, the entertainment director, yeah. So she was the uh the host of the show. Um but what they did, they they they scoured the audience prior to her coming on and basically chose three couples. One was like a newly married couple stroke, only being married for a couple of years or less. Then the second couple were like ones that have been married for between 15 to 20 odd years. Yep. And then they had one couple that was married over six years old. So they had a lot of different dynamics, and the pr the precedent of the show was basically um the host Caz would Caz Cat, sorry, I forgot it wrong, cat. Cat, yeah, sorry, okay. Um, was basically um asking them general questions to start with, you know, getting to the the couples themselves, and then what they did then was to send all the guys off and then ask the girls questions. Yep. And they were like questions like Well, three questions each, didn't they? Yeah, three questions each.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Same questions for each each couple. Some of them were a little bit naughty, but some of them were like they shit. They asked the the guys how what size. Oh, the guys went first, one of them. Yeah, the girls went off first. Brah, um, their wife had basically, and they had to give a number, a letter, and a um colour, what what they're if they were buying some laundry from their wife, what would they buy? And these guys had no clue at all. It was fucking hysterical because one guy said his wife was a size 5C99 or for or Z 5C black or something like that, and and the other one said like they they just had no yeah, he said 24 E Z or something like that. No pink or whatever, or yeah, but it was fucking it was the couple the older couple were shrink, shrillank, shrill.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

They had a little bit of um language barriers, barriers, but they were great, very humorous. I mean that their their whole it was really really interesting because as the show went on, you got to realise that their dating and their whole arrangement of their their marriage was completely different to what it is in the Western world.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah, and and even current, like the thing is that because they were the the oldest couple there, they basically um like their their timeline was insane, it was funny as hell to watch. It was really, really funny, but yeah. So insane. But that was super fun.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

And then uh the reverse, didn't they? So the girls went off and the boys didn't know the girls, the boys went went off, the girls did they have it. So it was just like uh, you know, an hour-long show.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Yeah, they basically asked the guy the girls to describe if their husband was standing naked in front of them and whether it was the the I the uh standing up like an Afro Tower, leading to the leaning parapisa, hanging low like the hanging gardens of Babylon.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Was it finding Nemo or was it gone with the Pin? Gone with the Wind. And and again, the the middle couple that just happened to come from Penrith and where we're from, yeah. He he said to her, You better not have said finding Nemo, right? And then the other lady at the other lady said I'm gone with the wind gone with the wind. And when when the when he actually came to answer, he said, Oh, she would describe it as gone with the wind. Um, and the audience was in raptures. It was so funny. It was it was really fun. He had to be there, but it was it was fun. It was really fun. But um uh would you bingo? We have because I've done a bit of karaoke, only really the karaoke competition, really, which um I'm a finalist in. You are indeed, um, yeah, that was um strange and unexpected from everyone. But there were some good singers there, and older singers as well, weren't they? Thanks, Vic, for all your coaching.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Well, I was I was a little bit nervous because Matt went out there with the whole sort of like it came across a little bit cocky, but it obviously worked in his favour. Yeah, because it it showed showmanship. Yeah, and it was a good singer, it was a good performance by Matt. There were a few other stronger people, I think, in terms of their vocals, vocals, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

You beat them, you know, beat them like showmanship, baby. So yeah, I gave him some old razzled dazzle. And you got your final tomorrow, haven't you? Yeah, tomorrow. So um, I which I do not expect to even get a leg in. But look, there's been fun because I've seen it.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

We went to karaoke bar afterwards, and there's some phenomenal singers on this show.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

But I've decided I'm not actually going in it to win it, I'm going in it just to have a fucking ball. And that's exactly right. Um which is gonna be fun. So I'm gonna do Sweet Caroline, um, which will be fun. So um, yeah, look out for that.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

We did then go obviously yesterday to We Will Rocky, so go back to the performances side of things before we get off track. Uh but yeah, uh this show was like packed out before we went there.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Like now, I think I've seen We Will Rock You Back on Land at some stage, and I think it was when So it's based around Queen, isn't it? Queen, it's yeah, all the Queen songs basically built into a musical. And I think I seen it when um Casey Donovan was the Killer Queen, right? She did the role of Killer Queen, which was good, and she's amazing, but I don't recall the dancing being as good as it was here, I don't recall the singing being as good as it was here. This was next level, super tight, super vocals, just like a bullet, like ridiculous. I was sitting there having eargasms. Um it was just phenomenal.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

We went with friends that we met on our last cruise.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah, so Cecile and Agnes, who we met on our last cruise coincidentally actually randomly turned up on this cruise, or I seen them on a Facebook group a week before, so it wasn't planned, and it was just a day two, didn't we? Yeah, we hunted everywhere and couldn't find them, and we finally found them. But we found we had we went and seen the Wheel Will Rock You show with um with those girls, and it's like it's the proper West End.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

Cecile has seen this on the ship before, the same ship. She's seen it a few times now. So she was explaining to us saying how good it was, but then when it started, she said, This is completely different to what I saw last time. Yeah, so they obviously changed the performance again, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Yeah, so yeah, so it's she loved it, didn't she? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, but look, it was amazing. So um, still got a couple of things to see. Um, I think I I think the um one that we wanted to see, which was the Spectre, um, that is finished now, I think.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

That's from the last night, tomorrow night. Oh, is it?

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yeah, we need to book today. Okay, I couldn't find it on the planner. Oh, it says day seven, that's what she said before. Well let's hope that I can find that and then I'll book that into this first.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Overall, this cruise has been slightly different to the last one. It's only half the length, just like.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

But the vibe is been we've been more chilled on this one. We haven't sort of like been rushing around doing everything, we've just been doing things and going to things as and when we think it was.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Just because we've rocked it into the calendar doesn't mean we've done it either. So we've done we've done lots. We went to the LGBTQ um nights. Meet up the first couple of nights, and look, they're a nice bunch of boys and girls. Well, there was no girls actually. No at all. And there are definitely a few lesbians on board, but they just obviously chose not to go to that. Um, but um nice bunch of boys, but like, I don't know, they're not the kind of people that I guess we'd hang out with outside of gear.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

That's not like we were I think they're they're a younger generation. They're a different generation, different. Yeah, so like when we were on the last cruise, they were all more our age and we sort of connected instantly with them. Yeah, but look, I think But then again, we haven't really been there as much. Yeah, and I'm sure that had we been, we would have probably connected to the city.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah, some of them are really sweet guys.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

That was a good conversation.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

A different, like a different crowd from all different places as well. Um, but look, lovely, lovely bunch of guys, but um, yeah, so but it was fun and look, we're always grateful for them to have these nights on the ships, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

We didn't do any art stuff this time, did we? No, we didn't do any art. Because normally we we go to the art exhibitions or the artists. We get suck it in and end up buying a fucking four. We could we couldn't find the hot director this time, could we? No, no.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

So we think we think the um the art director this time was a girl, so that wasn't really for us, obviously. Yeah, um so no, we weren't interested in buying art this time or looking because we had something last year. Well, Dave's still got some in White House from last cruise. We haven't even used them yet. So I haven't even looked at opening them yet. So um, but yeah, so so yeah, so we didn't do that.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

But what we have found, this cruise, is a lot of people have come on this cruise for free. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Explain that, Matt. Well, hang on, let me just go back for one second to performances. Okay, yeah, because there is a standout on this ship that we've actually enjoyed for the last three or four nights. Oh, yes, yes, Zoe Jackson in the piano bar, like in the schooner's bar, right, on the piano. What a sensational vocal powerhouse! Like, if I can liken her to she's got a bit of a Carol King, Bonnie Tyler kind of sound to her, right? And she's got a great vocal range. Um but also she's very, very smart at so likely.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

You give her you give her a request, and if she can sing it, she'll do it. If she can't, obviously she won't, but she'll have a go.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

But she's got like uh her music knowledge is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

But she can sit there and she just twinkle on the piano and she'll come up with it regardless. Yeah, it's we asked for that one, didn't we?

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Which which was um oh come on, which is heaps of we've we've requested her thousands of songs, and all of a sudden she's just next minute she's playing them, right? And look, I know some really good musicians as well, right? Obviously, with like your John Romeo's and all those guys. Um, I know some good musicians, but she is up there, she's a classic. She's been doing it 30 years, 30 plus years on cruise ships, basically, and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

She's in the UK originally, once you're check her out, she's done 30 years in the U in New Zealand, doesn't she? So yeah, she's on Facebook, Zoe Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Check her out, definitely, because she's worth listening to. She's she's written, I think, and download her own, had like uploaded her own music and that as well. Um, so yes, I had some success with that. But yeah, but um she she's amazing. Now, where were you going, Dave? What were you doing? Oh, free cruisers. So we discovered there's a way to get free cruisers, um, and just just by literally making sure that you go down to the casino and spend lots of money. No, you've got to accrue about two and a half thousand points, apparently. Now that sounds like a lot of money, but it's actually not that much because if you win, um you're just reinvesting, and I think on the first day we'd put like a hundred bucks in the poking machines, yeah, and something like that, and we're up to 200 and something points already, just because we'd won. Because I think it's a dollar for every five dollars, but we'd won and we'd lost, we won, we'd lost, we won and lost, we took it out of that machine, tried another one, took it out of that one, tried another one, and we just kept winning little bits, little bits, little bits, enough to keep us playing for ages.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

But on day one, you actually won 500 bucks, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Well, yeah, but I think on that first ticket we lasted like two and a half days, three days, basically, and that was like so. That was like really good. But then, yeah, I had um I entered into the slots tournament, which was really cool fun. So it was like 12 Pokemon scenes all set up, and um, and you basically just got to happen as fast as you can, pay 35 bucks to enter, but you've got to hit the button as fast as you can and tap the screen and all that kind of stuff. And I think first round I came eighth. So you got through to the finals? So I got through to the finals, which I was 12th place in the finals. And um, and then basically came home to win at the end because Dave was sitting there shouting in my ear.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

I was screaming at Matt tap, tap, tap, tap. He was doing what he does at church and yells over my ear and says, which I was watching because it was Matt was focusing on the symbols too much, and I said you've got to hit the button. So I was keeping him focused on the button, then when the symbols were coming up, I was telling him to hit the symbols, and then literally about three-quarters of the way through, your your round, it was only three minutes, yeah, and this symbol came up and it said jump to first place. So you went the first place, then you maintain it.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

And then I maintained it, and it was just like fuck. And my arms were falling off. It was hardcore, it was fun, it was fun, and the the exhilaration and all that kind of stuff was amazing. So that was um lots and lots and lots of fun. And and the 500 US didn't go astray either, just quietly. So, um, but yeah, so we spent that getting some more points. Um, it's free money, it was free money. So, yeah, hopefully you'll get off at some cheap cruises and then we'll get on again and sort of do build up a bit more, build up our own.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

We were there for two nights. Oh, yeah. Now we'd come by Ailey Beach on the last cruise, haven't we? But we only had like literally one day. So we got into the markets, we didn't venture out too far because we didn't have the time. So we decided before we left that we were going to do a shore cruise. Yep. Well, not cruise, it was a excursion.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

An excursion, a day trip out, basically. So you can explain that map. So so I looked online and so we looked at different different tour companies, but ended up going with Red Cat Adventures, right? Which were phenomenal. Which I would highly recommend, highly recommend. Now don't if you are going up, um don't book with a ship. It'll cost you three times as much. Alright. Book directly with Red Cat Adventures, right? Um, and we booked what was a full day tour, which started at nine o'clock from Coral Sea Wharf, um Coral, yeah, Coral Sea Marina, and basically got us back at five o'clock in the afternoon, or just after five o'clock it was, and we did two snorkeling stops, um, lunch, White Haven Beach, and Hill Inlet Lookout. Right now, the two snorkeling stops we stopped at, we stopped at the first one and seen thousands and thousands and thousands of fish everywhere. Well, that area was being re-um restopped with uh coral, wasn't it? And this is why we say go with Red Cat Adventure because they're one of five tour companies only, I think, up here, that are actually being given permits to regenerate the coral and to actually feed the fish up there so that it actually helps regenerate marine life and all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

Ten years ago, Cyclone Debbie came through the Wit Sunday Islands and devastated the area. Correct. And it destroyed so much coral reef that it was just unbelievable. But they were explained that the fish hung around. So what they did was the conservation team got together and decided that they were going to harvest what was left of the coral and then replant them onto new structures and develop a new coral reef system. And over the time it has grown, she says that it's still expanding. But the fish, because obviously they need the coral to survive, they've been going there daily to feed them, and it's been a work in progress, and it's been fantastic, isn't it? They've got George as their main star.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Beautiful, George, the um big giant gropa, right? He was so Cool. I've got some some great GoPro shots of him as well. So, like, but he was down like down halfway down the bottom of the bloody ocean, and he was so cool, he was just swimming, swimming along, living his best friends. We had a full female crew, didn't we? And they were absolutely full of the colour. We had Kaz, that's where I got Kaz from. Yeah. And Jess. Now, Jess, Kaz was amazing, so much knowledge. She's a skip-up. But she talk about caring about her job and the ri the reef, right? This woman exemplifies what it means to care about your job.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

She was just so good at everything, wasn't she? Yeah, but phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Phenomenal. And and Jess, who had to be all of like 1920 max, I mean max. She's worked there three years. Yeah. And she was gonna look at doing marine biology and stuff like that, but she's taken this, and this is her passion now, right? And she is the best skipper or doc deckhead ever, and so much energy and such a vibe, but so knowledgeable. I'm sitting there and I was blown away by her boat talk because she knew all these boaty terms and all this kind of stuff. And I'm sitting there and I'm going like, You're a kid. Most people your age are working at Maccas and can't give a fuck about what they do. And here's you actually caring with a professional interest. Like, actually caring about what you do, right? Which is just mind-blowing for me. So, like, I mean, but they that the lunch on board was something else. Um, it was really nice. It was just a nice basic fresh food. And it was a fun trip, wasn't it? It was great. It took us about an hour to get to get out there, didn't it? Yeah, about 45 minutes to get out, and then um, it was more established. So the second reef was more coral and less fish. There was a couple of big um big blue fish parrot fish, and they were really pretty. Um, but that's also where Matt the dickhead forgot to put his wrist strap on or or his wrist strap came off, and his GoPro went to the bottom of the ocean. And luckily it was only about eight, ten feet deep, I want to say. Yeah. Um, because it wasn't that deep that I couldn't get it because it was difficult. Did I dive? I dove down there, and I tell you what, my ears popped, and I came back up, and I was fucking well snorkel was full of water, and I was fucking dry reaching and I was panicking, and and it was uh because it felt like it was a long way down. I'd love to have known.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

I mean, I did feel sorry for you because I was I was watching you dive down for it, and I was like, oh my god, this is not good. Yeah, because initially you were struggling to get your to get down, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Because you were and I just kicked like thank god I'd had the flippers, yeah. Because I kicked like a fucking motherfucker and I thought, I'm getting this, I don't care what happens, I'm getting this.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

But I think had we not been able to, there was two young guys that were on the boat, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were good at diving, weren't they? Correct, that was phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

I think we would have got someone to get it anyway. Yeah, hopefully, yeah, but uh, but yeah, so it would have been like, but it was crazy. But um, but look, that reef was beautiful. But then we ventured onto another bay, but then we led up to Hill Inlet Lookout. Now, holy geez, white haven't Whitehaven Beach, right? And I I guarantee you this will be a feature of the photograph of the um of of this one, so look out for it because oh, it was just something else, like the sands.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

The way I could describe it was like I see I saw these sort of photographs of these beaches of Australia prior to coming out 20 years ago, and for me that's how I thought all the beaches were like. And I mean I have never been disappointed with any beach in Australia, but this was like next level, this was like everything you see on postcards. It was just absolutely pristine, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful white sand. And it was just turquoise, blues, you name it, it was just amazing, wasn't it? Yeah, absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

It's like it's indescribable, um, but it's just it's just breathtaking. Breathtaking is how I would describe it.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

I've got about there again. Oh, yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Absolutely, and then like the Instagram tree, um, which again is just this beautiful washed up on shore. It's just absolutely picturesque, and it's beautiful, it's sensational. So I'm glad we got to see that before it either gets fucking vanishing. I don't think it's been there for a while. It's been there for a long time, but it's it's sensational.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

I think it was actually done when the actual hurricane came through. Okay, maybe it's been there since, but uh, it's sort of like embedded itself into the sand. Yeah, but it makes a great feature.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

It's a fantastic piece of art that in itself. We didn't get to any turtles this time, but there was turtles around apparently. There was turtles around, there was definitely sharks and stingrays around.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Um they make you wear these stinger nets, sting sting suits, sorry, because up this way in Queensland and all the way around northern Australia, you have these erogangi jellyfish, which are small, tiny, they're about the size of your thumbnail, you can't see them, but they have got potently deadly stingers that can kill you. So they insist on you wearing them for that reason, you know what I mean? Yeah, so uh yeah, so just mindful, and again, that's down to people doing their research that we know about these things, you know.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

But look, Whitehaven Beach, stunning, absolutely stunning. Yep. Um, and then we went to the markets and yes, see like they are smaller this time, wasn't it? The markets are a bit smaller, but like we stopped at a few stalls there, and I tell you what, well I bought I must have gone a little bit crazy because there's this guy there called and he uh he owns a business called Bogan Apparel, right? You can find him online, um, right, and at Instagram and all of those places. Bogan Apparel, his name was Troy, right? And if you go to barry boganaparrel.com.au, right, and if you use the code FIRST15, you get 15% off your first order, right? Um now he's awesome, what a cool dude, right? He's been doing it for a few years. Yep, he basically got into this idea and and he's basically been um yeah, done his own business, and he's created this absolutely awesome brand that is so Australian and iconically Australian. He's got koalas playing the pokies, he's got like all different really cool things. He's got like don't be a shit cunt, basically.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

But it's all about the boganess of Australia because Aussie's a known, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:33

It's Aussie culture, but it's with a koala.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

It is, and it's it's it's not disrespectful, it is true in every sense of the word.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

It's it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

It's it's just a really clever play on words.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

But his design, his fit, his quality of merchandise. Like he so I bought a couple of double stubby holders for um some family members, which I've never seen a double stubby holder before. Uh, and they like because obviously your true bogan has to have have have double stubby holder.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

Um you're actually wearing one of his hats now, aren't you?

SPEAKER_01 29:03

I'm wearing one of his hats right as well. It's a cool hat. Very nice. But um but maybe shorts, didn't you? As well. And a pair of little little footy style shorts. Which is cool, actually. And they got zippers on the side pockets as well, which is actually really cool. Um, so that when you sit down, your shoes don't fall out. And if you're wearing with no undies, your nuts can hang out the side, which is what I plan on doing. Um but yeah, like but really cool stuff. So check out boganaparel.com.au um as well, because big bitches. True is awesome. And then there was another lady there, her name is Diane, I believe. Oh, yeah, yeah. And um she's from Lucky Bums AU.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

All her stuff are made from what, 100% plastic recyclable materials?

SPEAKER_01 29:43

85% recyclable bottles. They're all made from plastic bottles, but it's 85% plastic recycled plastic bottles, and then some materials by profession. She's she's midwife by profession, and we were speaking to her about like different things, and she's got a different friend that are actually in the business of creating diaries for women with um postpartum that have had babies and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

So we're gonna pass it, we'll pass it to you. We're talking about Helen on top.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Talking to Helen, her about Helen, and she's followed Helen on Happy Cat. Um, if you haven't heard us talk about Happy Cat before, you haven't listened. Yeah, um, because Happy Cat is amazing, go and follow that as well. Yep. But like Luckybums underscore AU, and she does fashion, she does Cossies and she does underwear and stuff like that. And um and um Brittany's husband, um Justin, maybe getting a pair of those Lucky Bums AU underwear. Yeah, because that's cool. But um what else was the other lady we we saw?

SPEAKER_02 30:44

The one that did the I bought the um I didn't pick up one of her cards. It's attached to the thing. We're we're passing her details.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

She's a lovely lady. She she makes the jars. Makes jars. Right, but they're crocheted, they got crocheting around the outside.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

But they're just well well, she she makes lots of like beach style like accessories in turquoises, blues, and whites. So it's very on trend for what I needed from White House. For your house, yeah, correct. So I bought a couple of the jars from her, but again, lovely lady, very passionate. I mean, all the stall holders we spoke to are very grateful, even that girl that you bought the hats from. Yep. Um, I mean, you know, they work hard for their living. I mean, they can't always be out there to do it because it's so hot. Yep. Um, and they rely so much on tourism from the cruise ships company.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

But yeah, when you come to Ellie Beach, don't just stay on the ship if you come by ship, jump off and go and have a look on the markets. Yeah. Anytime the ship is in.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Because a lot of the stuff in the shops we found were all stuff you could buy anywhere, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

But these stuff in the markets are more sort of like handmade and you know, made with care and love and supporting their own businesses, you know. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

And we had a bit of a stop at the pub, obviously, as well, because that's what we do.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

And we took Bert and Ernie with us.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

A year on. Yeah. Um, but it was nice.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

But yeah, what else have we done, though? Just relaxing. Oh, we have this time, like I said, it's been a very chilled one, but it's gone quite quick. I think, you know, the whole trip has been quite quite fast. Yep, yeah. But we haven't really stopped and done nothing, have we? We haven't seen, but I've had swimmers here for the last couple of days. Yep. Um, so I struggled to hear things. So if I'm not coming across very loud, then that's what I'm saying. You're fine, I keep pushing your microphone up, that's fine. Um, but look, at the end of the day, I mean, it has been a slightly different cruise, but still a very good one. Yeah, interesting. Both of us needed it. Um, so yeah, so we're back in Sydney on Friday, it's Wednesday now. Uh we plan to go out tonight and do a few events, but I don't know what we've got night anyway. But we're never in anywhere, we're always out and about just you know, walking around. Um and yeah, we'll just make the most of it and um whatever happens with the rest of the crews, I'm sure we'll report back at some point.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

The only thing I would say negative wise.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

So no, so I know we haven't got our our um little button for our pet peeves, but let's do our pet peeves anyway, Dave, because we've got to can't can't not have pet peeves. No. Can't not have pet peeves at all. So let's go. Let's go, let's get your cranky self out for the moment. And tell us about your pet peeves.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

I wasn't aware this was gonna be a kid's um Wiggles cruise. Wiggles cruise. So that was, and I think a lot of people weren't in their mindset I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Everybody knew it was gonna be a wiggles cruise.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

So look, I'm not I'm not objecting to having kids on board cruise ships because they're fine. But a lot of young kids is sort of like a little bit more screaming and a little bit more sort of like. It's more than I can deal with. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Everyone knows anyone that knows me knows I love children or not.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Train their children to not cry?

SPEAKER_01 33:40

Well, yeah, there was one in the morning. There was one woman that was sleep training her child, um, apparently, not in near us, but another lady was telling us in her room the kid was screaming from four o'clock in the morning, and it just didn't shut the fuck up. So it was like that's not okay. Like, you know, if you come on a cruise, yep, your children are yours, but be considerate and um and be considerate of other guests as well, right? Like, we'll happily be considerate of you and your children, um, but be considerate of the other guests that are here to also enjoy their holiday because it's not just about you, so but yeah, um and the the other part going on with kids again is the fact that we're in a a 100% adult-only area.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

Yeah, and it says that exclusively, right? But some people decide that they're gonna bring their young children in here and think they can get away with it. So people on the Facebook program have been on Facebook page, have actually put their two pence worth in and said, Look, it's not acceptable. Yeah, and then there's a couple of people that have just got this, I don't know, this one guy in particular, he likes to rattle people up. Yeah, and he'll sit there and go, What the fuck's wrong with you? You know what I mean? Their kids are entitled to go everywhere. No, they're not. This is 100% one. Adults need a break from children. No, there's three-quarters of the ship is basically for children. Absolutely. So, why is the only place that you can get away from kids allowing kids on board?

SPEAKER_01 35:02

Yep, yep, correct. So, yeah, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

And we did laugh, didn't we? Because it is funny because on this cruise ship, I don't know why, but where the main kids' swim pool is is right next to the swimming pool.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

That's where the smokers area is. And you can smell it, it's it's rank, and I'm sitting there going, really? Like, come on, like design something better, like you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Like the back of the ship, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Like, put it, put the smoking area side.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Or on the very top deck where nobody can be.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Where no one can get the fumes all the time or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

But it's just I because it's in closed space as well, isn't it? It's got an indoor.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

It is, it is an indoor sort of it's open, but it's indoor as well. So you have to sort of either run through that bit or hold your breath, don't you? But yeah, yeah, you do. You run through and you go, holy fucking Jesus. But yeah, look, I so my pet peeve, right? Now, this time around, because we've been eating incidentally in a different time, so normally if we're on our longer cruise, we get our routine, our rhythm, and we find out exactly where we're gonna eat at what time. But because we really haven't this time, we've eaten in the Windjammer, which is the big buffet area, quite a lot. And um my pet peeve is if you're at the station where they're carving the meat for you, right? You stand there and you get what's carved, right? Like I've been at the the meat station a couple of times, yeah, yeah, you know I have. Um, and and there's people that are sitting there with their tongs going through every piece of meat, like everyone's different. They've all come from the same fucking piece of beef, right? And I'm thinking, just put on your plate, because in the meantime, the cue's getting longer and longer and longer, right? And so, like, I would just make a noise. I've just been going, um, like you know, and so like looking at them going, do you mind? Like, come on, like uh, and they're only picking one or two pieces of beef, but they've fucking dismantled the whole friggin' cow in the meantime, and I'm thinking to myself, just fucking move it, like you know, or shuffle along, or don't get so upset if somebody leaps from shoes and goes to the next thing. Yeah. If you're standing there trying to pick through a whole friggin' plate of potatoes as to the one potato that you want, like so.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

But the other thing is what what annoys me is when you see people that have sat down, they've got a table because there's not a lot of tables in there, um, and they have their feed, they just sit there talking afterwards. Yeah, so they're getting up and allowing other people to sit down and have their feet and go and talk somewhere else because there's plenty of spaces to talk. Tons of spaces, so and they just sit there or they just leave their drinks on there and they think that they're gonna come back and it's a bit of a fucking annoyance.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

But yeah, that's a bit of annoying.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

Um going on with the um eating side, yeah, we were limited to times where our main dining room is time, weren't we? Yeah, and that was difficult because we don't normally eat at five o'clock in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

No, and it's either five o'clock or six forty five at night, and then it's open seating at 6.45 at night. You can't guarantee. So you've got it in like literally line up and and and you'll get in, but you could be waiting up to an hour, and it's uh we're sitting there and going, well, like, uh so that's why we've and because we're not both huge eaters anyway, so we've just basically been going up the windjam and getting something or going to get pizza at 11 o'clock at night instead, or something like that. But yeah. Um but yeah, so it's it's it's definitely been and one other pet peeve of mine. Oh, come on. It's the elevators. Oh, yeah. Jesus, I think they're everyone's pet peeve on the ship. This time, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Um, because I don't remember them being that bad on the last one.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

No, well the thing is that they're good once you actually get in them. But the fact is that you'll sit there and you'll press the up button or the down button, whichever way you're going, and okay, I've got to say, we've been really good and taken stairs for the most part. It's only when we're going from like level three all the way up to level 14 that we've decided no, that's probably a little bit too much. So we basically have then gone, alright, let's let's get the elevator. And so we'll press the button and we're standing there waiting, and it goes straight past you. It doesn't even stop, and there's got no one here. You beat me up the stairs, and I sat there and I thought, like, because I'm thinking like it literally just they just fly straight past you, and I'm sitting there going, well, okay, alright, how about you stop at any time? But yeah, yeah, but yeah, um, so yeah, so we are down in the oasis area, and um This is again a big purving. It's a great perving. The whole ship is being. But then there are some people that really shouldn't wear what they wear, and that's one of my last FPs is wear body appropriate. Now, okay, says a man that hangs out in Speedos when I don't have a perfect body, and I don't expect people to have the perfect body, but if you have a big fat belly, alright, I'm not fat shaming here, alright.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

I'm just saying when your body doesn't match what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

When your body doesn't match what you're wearing, because if you've got a costume on that is high cut, and when you move your legs as a woman, your whole vagina falls outside. Which we have seen. Which like I seen it in the spa and I went, oh my god, if that and I was praying that Miami came into my mind and stopped me from saying, excuse me, can you please tuck your prolapse in? Um, because I swear this woman's vagina was about to fall out the side of her fucking costume. Yeah, it wasn't a phobic. Literally, she lifted a leg, and you could see hair enough. Um, but it wasn't okay though. We're looking at it.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

Um he had speeders on yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Oh, a hot guy with his girlfriend, and he's got a fucking massive bolt, yeah, and maybe I stood next to him at the urinal and um got a sneaky look, and he's got a very nice cock too. Um, but yeah, um, but yeah, but he was hot. She's gorgeous as well. They're probably on here making OnlyFans content on the gun. How would you describe cruising? I love it. I love it. Cruising, it is my favourite type of holiday because as you are aware, and as most of our listeners are aware, I am a control freak. But here I kind of lose a little bit of control. I'm not in charge of the boat, so I don't give a fuck. Um so I just basically go like, eh, what's next? What's next? Just let's chill, let's do this, let's go there and get a drink, which I'm gonna need in a second, definitely, because I'm fucking sweltering, I'm gonna get a pool. Um, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

But look, I mean, I think even though I've always said I wouldn't do a three-day cruise, I think I would if it was just like a long weekend. Yeah, well the thing is obviously you don't take anything with you because you don't need to.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

Yeah, you don't need to take everything with you. So, I mean, we could probably do a three-day cruise with just a 40 kilo bag.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

Just just going on before you finish, just touching on these three cruises that you can get. Um, basically, our friend Cecile, she has been given nine cruises to take over the next 12 months. Yeah. Um, basically, she's doing another one after this one, and then she's going on another one next month or something. But she's actually going away to Alaska for 25 days.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

Yeah, 25 days to Alaska.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

So, yeah, but um so look, at the end of the day, these are all free cruises that are offering people. So, what they do, they go on board and then they purchase the packages that they want. So obviously the cruiser's still making money. But look at me, at the end of the day, if it works for you and you've got the time, yeah, then I say to you, just do it, have a great opportunity, and just enjoy life and go out there and see the world. Yep. I mean, I I definitely intend doing more cruisings from this. Hundred percent. Um, and yeah, we look forward to a lot more, you know, and more adventures on the high seas, I say. Definitely, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Alright, well, I've been Matt. And I've been Dave. And we'll talk to you soon. Bye. That's a wrap from us. We've been your Fully Grown Homers, and we look forward to opening your mind, your ears, and your curiosities. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and share our podcast with your curious friends. You can contact us at fully grown homo's podcast at gmail.com or any of our socials by the same name, Fully Grown Homers Podcast.