Good Neighbor Podcast South Charlotte
Bringing Together Local Businesses and Neighbors of South Charlotte.
Good Neighbor Podcast South Charlotte
Ep. #72 Understanding Collaborative Divorce and Its Benefits
Discover how navigating a personal challenge can lead to a transformative career shift with Robin Mermans, the owner and principal managing attorney of Road to Resolution. After facing the trials of her own daunting divorce, Robin channeled her experiences into becoming a licensed attorney specializing in divorce mediation and collaborative family law. Through her journey, she reveals the distinctions between mediation and collaborative divorce, sharing how the latter, supported by specific statutes, enables couples to resolve their disputes outside the courtroom. Robin's firm advocates for a holistic and team-oriented strategy, bringing in professionals like child and family therapists to ensure amicable solutions. She also underscores the significance of pre-divorce education, guiding couples to be well-informed before taking any legal steps.
Join us as Robin demystifies the divorce process, offering insights into components like equitable distribution, support, and child custody within the collaborative framework. She passionately dispels myths, such as the misconception that parties must agree on every issue in collaborative divorce, emphasizing the focus on problem-solving over conflict. Beyond her legal expertise, Robin opens up about her personal life, sharing her love for family, community engagement, and her zest for sports and adventure. For listeners eager to learn more about Robin's approach or in need of guidance, her door is always open through her website or office.
Road to Resolution - Divorce Mediation & Collaborative Family Law
Robin Mermans
224 South Caswell Rd
Charlotte, NC 28204
(980) 260-1600
info@roadtoresolution.com
roadtoresolution.com
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Regina Lee.
Speaker 2:Well, hello everybody and welcome to the Good Neighbor Podcast here in South Charlotte, and I am really thrilled to have a conversation today with Robin Mermans. She is the owner and principal managing attorney for Road to Resolution. Welcome, Robin, how are you?
Speaker 3:Hi Regina, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so a little bit in what you guys do. It's divorce mediation and collaborative family law. So we have a lot. I have many directions. I want to take our conversation, but first I know you have a story, a personal journey, your why, and so let's start with that, because I think it really sets everything up beautifully.
Speaker 3:Thanks, regina. Yeah, it is certainly why I am here today sitting in this seat. So I, like many others, got married in my 20s and found myself about 12 years later and of course it's not linear but wanting to get a divorce, and at the time this was in the early 2000s all I knew was you hire an attorney and your spouse hires an attorney, and then you start the process, and that's exactly what we did, and what could have been probably a much more efficient and congenial process turned into something much more contentious, and so we hired our own attorneys. We were pitted into our own separate corners, paid our retainer and were told not to talk to each other. And, mind you, we had two young children at the time they were six and nine and we were all living under the same roof and it created a lot of tension. And again, six months later, we had nothing to show for it, but just more bad energy between us. We ended up in our garage with a calculator and a pad of paper and we basically struck a deal, formulated the stipulations that then became our separation agreement. That then became our separation agreement, and after that process, I was actually working for a Fortune 100 company in the legal department not as an attorney but in compliance and I saw an opportunity.
Speaker 3:There's a better way to do this and so I did some research. I found out about mediation which was not brought to my attention at the time when we started the process Learned about mediation and I left that corporate job and I started a mediation you know divorce mediation practice called Road to Resolution. I did that for a year and as I went through it I realized and I actually had clients and I went through it and I realized I'm going to get slapped with unlawful practice of law if I keep doing this. So I went to law school yeah, I went to law school and fast forward, three years and two bars later I'm licensed in both North and South Carolina. I added collaborative family law to our services at Road to Resolution and essentially our firm. We specialize in what's called alternate dispute resolution. So mediation, collaborative law to help families come to agreements outside of the courtroom.
Speaker 2:So you're saying that mediation is different from collaborative divorce?
Speaker 3:It is. It is so collaborative divorce is actually governed by statute in the state of North Carolina and last I checked we were one of only six states that actually had a collaborative divorce specific statute and what the statute says. It's not very long, but what it says is that the two attorneys and the two clients must enter into a participation agreement and that participation agreement must state that if the two attorneys and clients can't come to a resolution outside of court, the two attorneys must recuse themselves and they and no one in their law firm can represent the clients in litigation. So the clients essentially have to pack up, go find new attorneys and start over, and that's an incentive for people to settle their differences out of court. Now our practice group here in Mecklenburg we have added a lot more provisions to that participation agreement, like full voluntary disclosure of all relevant information, transparency. We agree in the holistic approach and team approach. Whereas if there's a difference in, let's say, custody, rather than going to court and tearing each other apart and then having a judge make a decision based on what each side represented, and the judge, who's never met the parents or the child or children, make a decision, we decide to bring in a child and family therapist to help us with that. So I call it.
Speaker 3:The legal side of conscious uncoupling is what collaborative divorce is. Mediation is a tool that's used in the litigation process. Also in the collaborative divorce process, and essentially what mediation is is a client and attorney, and you know both clients excuse me and their attorneys will go to a mediator's office, let's say, and the mediator will go back and forth between those parties and try and help them bridge the gap if they're unable to, you know, if there's an issue that they're unable to come to resolution on. So that's more of a tool in the toolbox, whereas collaborative divorce is actually a process that is parallel to litigation but much different than litigation.
Speaker 2:So does each, the husband and the wife, have their own collaborative attorney?
Speaker 1:Yes, OK, OK.
Speaker 2:They're not coming to you and working. Ok, I get it. So how do you know if you're a good candidate for collaborative divorce? Does usually one think so? Do you have to persuade the other? What does your experience?
Speaker 3:show. So people show up in all different ways. I actually offer what's called a pre-divorce education, which is approved by the bar. Just a little background Attorneys ethically can't meet with two opposing parties and when you're divorcing, in the eyes of the law you're opposing parties. However, I did talk to the bar, north Carolina bar, and received approval from the bar to meet with people together and to have what's called a pre-divorce education In that meeting.
Speaker 3:I'm very, very limited on what I can talk about, and the two things that I can talk about is divorce 101 in general, what the legal issues are, which are always the same right and unless you have children or don't have children, that's really the only thing that differs. But you have the same legal issues. You've got equitable distribution, you've got support, alimony or spousal support same thing, child support and child custody and I'm able to talk generally about those issues and what type of information you need to solve those, et cetera. And then the process options available to you. So at the end of every untangling of a family, you want to untangle your financial affairs, you want a parenting plan. How do you go about doing that? Well, you can litigate, you can go through a collaborative divorce or you can sit around a table and try and negotiate your deal yourself around the kitchen table. So I go through all the different process options available to them. I can't answer any legal questions and then from there they decide if they want to enter into the collaborative divorce process. And if they do, I can only or we can only represent one party, and then the other party would have to hire a collaborative attorney as well. Okay, so they have to have a collaborative as well.
Speaker 3:Correct, and to answer your question like, how do I know if people are a candidate? You know so. Generally, when people are walking in my door, they've read my website, and my website is very clear that we are all about out of court settlements and not about going for the jugular. And so even just someone reaching out and coming you know, coming here and spending the money to sit and learn tells me that they're a good candidate for it. So I feel very fortunate, we feel very fortunate as a firm that most of the people that make their way to us are candidates. It's very rarely. It has happened a few times where I have said you know, this is not the right process because there's either some mental health issues or someone's not being honest. Do you?
Speaker 2:typically see both the husband and wife coming in together, or is it typically one of them gathering the info and then saying to the other one this might be great?
Speaker 3:for us. We see both, and equally. Quite honestly, yeah, we see both.
Speaker 2:So what are some of the misconceptions that you run into in this type of divorce?
Speaker 3:So you know, people think when we say a collaborative divorce, right, you know, a client will come, will engage, will sign the participation agreement, which is what makes it a collaborative divorce and we'll be getting into the process. And they find that there's a crossroads and they don't agree, that a husband and wife don't agree on something. And they'll look at me and they'll be like, oh, this is not collaborative. And what I say to that is, collaborative is a process, not a behavior. Behavior If you are untangling a family, there is a very good chance and you're getting a divorce for whatever reason, there's a very good chance. You're not going to see eye to eye on everything, right?
Speaker 3:So what the difference between collaborative and litigation is in collaborative, when we come to those crossroads, we problem solve. We don't litigate it and fight and be conflict, right. We look at, we're like, okay, the two attorneys and the clients, okay, we're at a crossroads. So what do we do next? What information do we need to help us figure out a solution to this problem? So you know again the misconception that just because you're in collaborative means that you're always going to get along. That's not the case at all and I would argue it's a little harder. I know my litigation friends would not agree with this, but as collaborative attorneys we sit in a room with two parties who are not seeing eye to eye and we need to help them navigate that, whereas in a courtroom you're just filing papers and then standing in front of a judge and then arguing right.
Speaker 2:I love your term untangling. That just makes a lot of sense, a whole lot of sense. Having gone through that, your website is amazing, by the way. It is the perfect place for our listeners to start, if this kind of the path that they're thinking about, um, and I just really love your approach with everything. So last question when you're not doing all of this, what does Robin like to do for fun, or do?
Speaker 3:you have time. I do, I do. I think it's important to have a balance in life. I have a lot of hobbies. So, first and foremost, my family. We have a blended family. We have five children, two graduated college, I know three are still in and nothing gives me more pleasure than to be with my, my family. Um, I love spending time with my adult children who, um, just bring me so much joy. Um, the other thing that I would say. There's two other things that really occupy my time. The second thing, outside of my family, is I am very involved in the community from a philanthropic standpoint. I sit on several boards and I think it is an obligation that we have. I have that I give back to the community that has given me so much. Um. And then the third thing is I love sports. I'm a big yogi.
Speaker 3:I love playing pickleball um yeah, so I ski, so anything that I'm an adrenaline junkie, essentially scuba dive, and so I would say, between family, philanthropic work and exercising, those are, those are what occupies my time outside of the office.
Speaker 2:Well, Robin, you are an impressive woman. Very excited to have chatted with you. So let's wrap it up by letting our listeners know how do they find you guys and reach out.
Speaker 3:The best way to reach us is via our website, which is road R-O-A-D-2-T-O resolution R-E-S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N. com, and you can also call us at 980-260-1600.
Speaker 2:Fantastic. Well, I look forward to seeing you out in the community, and it's been a pleasure chatting with you today.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me, Regina.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor Podcast. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to GNPSouthCharlotte. com. That's GNPSouthCharlotte. com. That's GNPSouthCharlotte. com, or call 980-351-5719.