06 - The Power of Sexual Energy - Overcoming Shame and Boosting Confidence

It's episode 06 of Business Sexcess, where we fuel up your business and your bedroom! I’m your host, Lorraine Crookes, the Sexual Empowerment Liberator, here to make sure all business professionals and entrepreneurs lead an orgasmic life.

In this episode, we're diving into some listener questions that hit close to home. We'll explore how to overcome feelings of shame and guilt around sex and intimacy, techniques to boost your sexual confidence, and the powerful role sexual energy plays in your overall mental health.

Discover why sexual education should go beyond the birds and the bees, how exploring your own body can skyrocket your confidence, and why tapping into your sexual energy is crucial for your mental well-being. Plus, hear about my personal journey and experiences with swinging, kink, and BDSM, and how I navigated those waters while maintaining a career in education.

Whether you're looking to improve your relationship with yourself, spice things up with a partner, or harness sexual energy to boost your business, this episode is packed with insights and tips to get you there.

If you are interested in finding out more about how Lorraine empowers business Professionals and entrepreneurs to lead an orgasmic life why not book a Connection call. Whether you are an individual seeking support, a company who values there employees wellbeing or an organisation looking for a speaker get in touch, Lorraine would love to chat. Just CLICK HERE to book.

Visit the Orgasmic Life website for more information

Proudly edited by Mike at Making Digital Real

Transcript

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Thank you for tuning in to Business Sexcess, empowering business professionals and entrepreneurs to lead an orgasmic life. Hello and welcome to this episode of Business Success. This is an over 18 space here to fuel up your business and your bedroom. It's where sexual empowerment meets personal professional development. I'm your host. Yes, that's me, Lorraine Crookes, sexual empowerment liberator, an award-winning speaker, columnist, educator and healer. Here to make sure all business professionals and entrepreneurs lead an orgasmic life. So welcome to this episode of Business Sexcess. I am so happy to be back here. Oh my goodness, did you listen to those last two episodes as well? Because they were epic. If you haven't had a chance to go back, Karen Shaw is amazing. And it was a whole conversation of two episodes about conscious communication. It's really worth listening to. It was fantastic. So today, we have three questions from three of the listeners, actually. But they are questions that I've come across before. And actually, questions I've asked myself over my journey. So they really felt they resonated to share with you as part of this podcast and this episode. So the three questions are, I'm going to give you the three questions, because there's going to be a little bit of overlap, I think, in these questions. So there's, how can I overcome feelings of shame and guilt around sex and intimacy? What are some techniques to boost my sexual confidence? And what role does sexual energy play in my overall mental health? And I think all three of those are really, really important questions. Questions I've asked myself probably on a number of occasions, I think. And questions I'm sure you can resonate with. As a society, we have a lot of fear and shame and guilt around sex. We don't all have a lot of sexual confidence. And it does play a huge part in our mental health. So let's kick off with question number one. How do I overcome feelings of shame and guilt around sex, intimacy and pleasure? It's a difficult one, this one, because we are living in a society that is not all embracing, all supportive around sex, intimacy and pleasure. We get some really weird messages, literally from the day we are born. And whether that's through social media, TV, our parents, our random sex education we had. And I'm sure you can resonate with that. That's a whole other episode. But our sex education, like just everything is just weird around sexual energy. It's not a healthy environment that we live in around supporting us not to have shame and guilt around sex, intimacy and pleasure. We have so much conditioning in our life. And most of it we don't even know. You know, there's so many different layers to this. Honestly, there's like just so many different layers. But the truth is, we are sexual human beings. Drum roll. We are sexual human beings, right? That's how we got here. Two people connected in some way, shape or form and created us. You know, that may not have been through the deepest passionate love. But the truth is, sexual energy somehow, some way creates us. It's a powerful energy. It's a powerful energy that creates life. And yet as a society, there is so much shame around it. And it's wrong. It is completely wrong. There should be such a different approach to how we educate ourselves and our children around sex, intimacy and pleasure. Like to be taught about a process rather than an experience, to be taught the biology rather than the energy, I believe is absolutely catastrophic. That's a big word. But I do like, why do I think that? Why do you think that, Lorraine? I think that because I know that in our sex education system, our kids are still learning the same type of stuff that we were. Yes, there's other stuff in there. You know, the tech, kids being more savvy around technology, understanding about sexuality choices and all of that. That's in there as well. 100% get that. And it should be. But no one's teaching us about orgasms. No one's teaching us about, when I say us, I mean like all of us, about foreplay, about connection, about intimacy, about the transcendental energy and the health benefits of sex, intimacy and pleasure. It's literally a fuel for our physical, mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual health. But it's a tool for all of that. And yet, most of us are scared to have a conversation about it, even with a partner. You know, it's an uncomfortable one with our kids, but we do it and we hope we're giving them the right information. But often, for many of us, we're not having that conversation because we have this shame and this fear and this guilt around it. So what I'm saying is, as a sexual human being, you are designed for pleasure, for intimacy, for connection to yourself and another human being. It's society that's made that wrong, not us. We're just carrying around, I refer to it as a bag of mixed messages. You know, we're carrying around a bit of something from our parents, a bit of something from the media, like all this unconscious stuff that we've collected over our lifetime, baggage. But it's like we were designed to enjoy sexual connection with ourself and with someone else. So if we're finding that we have this shame and this guilt, which I completely resonate with in my own journey as someone who is exploring swinging and kink and BDSM and fetish and all of that from a very young age and holding a career down in education, secondary education, like I had loads of stuff going on around that. And it made me really ill, like the battle of what was right and what was wrong. And actually, none of that was true. It was just the stories I was telling myself and the conditioning I'd had in my life. And it wasn't conditioning that was forced on me. It was just the stuff that was around me. It was just the things that I'd connected with, seen, heard, you know, from watching carry on films to the sex education at school, to the conversation with my peers, to my first experience, like all those things just add up and become layers in our life. And if those layers are complicated, then sex becomes a complicated thing for us. And because we're not having this conversation, it becomes even more complicated because then we have this we have nowhere to go with it. And that's that's part of my mission is to get us having these conversations because we need to be having these conversations. We need to be open and nonjudgmental and seek the guidance and support that we need, whether that's from a partner, a specialist, a professional, a trusted friend, whatever that might be to get these conversations out there, because as soon as we're having these conversations, things change. 100 percent things change. I've worked with so many clients who said, you know what, you know, the tantra session or the coaching session was great. But just having someone I can talk to has made the most difference. I've run couples retreats where I've taught them beautiful massages and all the tantra rituals and this beautiful stuff. And at the end of the weekend, communication was the absolute takeaway. All the other stuff was amazing. But the one thing they all said was that it was about the communication opportunities with their partner and ways to navigate those conversations. Because we all have this this shame and this fear around judgment, around rejection. So we need to be having the conversation. So going back to the question, because I've kind of gone off one a little bit, is how do I overcome the feelings of shame and guilt? Find someone that you can have a trusty conversation with. Seek professionals to help if that resonates. And the other option is below this podcast is an opportunity to book a call. So if it resonates that you just want to have a chat with someone and you'd like to connect with me, then please do so. You're more than welcome. And bring a coffee and let's have a chat because I've been there. I get it. And I've worked with so many people that have also been there as well. So the second question about boosting our sexual confidence is really connected with that because it's about that self-awareness and educating ourselves. But it's also that a lot of us don't explore our own body and understand what brings us pleasure. So to boost our confidence, it's about really knowing what we like, what we enjoy, self massaging, using toys, exploring our erogenous zones, getting juicy with our own body and enjoying our own body before we hand it over to someone else to educate ourselves. Whether that's going on workshops, reading books, going on courses, having a chat with me, like whatever it might be, educating ourselves so that with knowledge, we become confident. I think knowledge is key to sexual confidence because we don't know what we don't know. And if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got. And I often talk about the fact that, you know, we always we always do what we always do, always get what we always got and always feel like we've always felt. And I think the feel like we've always felt is a key one because we just get stuck in this rut of like, it's never going to get better. But unless we take the action, no, it's not. It's going to stay exactly the same. It's like most relationships like, yeah, but we you know, he does this, I do that. And then we do this. Oh, yeah, we do the same thing every time. It's like we get stuck in these processes because we're so scared of having a conversation. We don't want to upset our partner. We don't want to feel rejected. We don't want to root anyone off. We don't want to be judged, like whatever it might be. No one's having the conversation. So how do we build our confidence when we're constantly in this cocoon of fear of not wanting to explore more, read a book, go on a workshop, phone Lorraine, like whatever it might be, that positive self-talk around developing our sexual connection to ourself, exploring mindfulness, exploring sensuality, exploring our own body image, all brings around sexual confidence. And being really open with our partner about our desires, but also setting our boundaries. Now, if we're clear about our boundaries and we can put those good conscious communication skills in that Karen talked about on the last podcast, and there's so much more to come on that, you know, this other podcast that we're going to be doing around boundaries and consent and how to have those conversations. Sexual experiences are so much more connected, conscious, confirming, creative, like they're just in a whole different playing field. Like they're just more open, more fun. Okay, let's move on. Because all of these questions I could just talk about forever, to be honest. This is like this, I'm on passion plus. So sexual energy. So the next question, sexual energy. What was the question? What role does sexual energy play in our overall mental health? Everything. That's the answer to that one. Everything is intrinsic. Absolutely intrinsic from the kiss and the cuddle on the way out the door to the cuddling up on the sofa to the having a nice bubble bath to walking in nature to, you know, playing with the kink and BDSM in a consensual way. But like just chandelier swinging, like all of like literally from the kiss through to the orgasms to the whatever's all of it affects our mental health. It's just a vital force for whatever that word for our mood, our creativity, our vitality, our sensuality, our human existence. And why am I so passionate about this? And it's because I've seen so many people in such a stuck place, so frustrated. And then when they work out where they're at with their sex, intimacy and pleasure with their sexual energy, everything changes. They go from frustrated to to freedom, literally to freedom. They become healthier, happier, wealthier, even. I've known people that kind of sort their stuff out and they become so much more confident in themselves. They've got and got job promotions and just life has changed in so many different ways. So much more self-esteem, reduced stress. Great sense of fulfilment. They're just they're not repressing who they are. They let go of the shame. They have less anxiety, less depression, and they're just living in flow, orgasmic energy, orgasmic life, which is what I'm all about. It's the name of the business, orgasmic life. And that's why, because life should be living in the energy of one orgasm. Well, not just one, multiples, but life should be living in that orgasmic energy, embracing and channeling sexual energy, using it in a positive way. And that can be the mindfulness, the meditation, creativity, like just when we're in flow with that, life's in flow, when intimacy and pleasure's in flow, life changes. You know, like those feelings of when you've had some really good connection to yourself or a partner, like life just seems a little bit better. There's a bit of a smile. You've got a bit of a spring in your step. You feel awake, energised, connected, happy. It's about creating as much of that energy and opportunity in varying ways as we can so that our mental health is tapping into that oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline in different ways every single day. Wouldn't that be lush? Yay! That'd be awesome. And as I said, it's not necessarily about sex, sex, sex, sex. It's about tapping into the different aspects of sexual energy, about things like breath work and using breath to empower us in self-pleasure, in being in nature, in like just this, oh, honestly, quick, someone push stop. I'm going to be here all day. But there's so much to this, but it's taking all of the steps in the right way to make the small changes to give us greater confidence, better mental health, and to get rid of that fear and shame. Just let it go. It's not our stuff. We inherited it. And it's not our best inheritance package we've ever had. It's just like the generational patterns of it just don't serve us. This is about stepping into our power in so many different ways. Oh, honestly, there's so much more I want to say, but let's save that for another. Let's save that for another time. I really hope in those three questions, in what I've shared with you, that resonates and that there's a little nugget that you can take away that will make your sex intimacy and pleasure, your connecting to yourself, your connection to your partner, your connection to your business. Because all of this, all of it, all of it impacts our business when we are our business. If we are our business, then this intrinsically affects what we do and the magic we create in the world directly. And as I said, that's why I'm here doing what I'm doing, because I've seen this happen hundreds of times with business professionals and entrepreneurs. It's finding the balance between business and bedroom, because all of these energies feed each other. They're all part of the same thing because they're all part of us. So let me know in the comments below one thing you're going to change to empower your sex intimacy and pleasure to build your business and your bedroom for a more orgasmic life. Until next time, stay safe, stay cool and stay happy. See you soon. Thank you for joining me on Business Sexcess, empowering business professionals and entrepreneurs to lead an orgasmic life.