028 - Mindful Sex

We live in a fast-paced world, and when it comes to sex, it’s easy to fall into routine and rush the moments that matter most. In this solo episode of Sexcess, I’m talking about a total game changer - mindful sex.

I explore how presence, breath, sensory awareness, and slowing down can unlock deeper connection, richer intimacy, and far more satisfying experiences in (and out of) the bedroom. You’ll get practical tips for ditching the pressure to perform and creating space for emotional, energetic and sensual connection.

Whether you’re partnered or solo, this episode is packed with juicy insight to help you reconnect with your body, tune into your pleasure, and lead a more empowered, orgasmic life.

💋 Want to go deeper? Book me for workshops, talks, or 1:1 coaching at orgasmiclife.me

Visit the Orgasmic Life website for more information

Proudly edited by Mike at Making Digital Real

Transcript

Welcome to Sexcess, the podcast where we unleash the power of sex, intimacy and pleasure to fuel your personal and professional development. This is an over 18 space and things are about to get hot, juicy and oh so deliciously unfiltered. 

So buckle up or loosen up because we are diving deep. I'm Lorraine Crookes, your host and personal sexual empowerment liberator, an award-winning speaker, number one best-selling author, columnist, educator, healer and on occasions a stand-up comedian. I'm here to help you ditch the shame, ignite the confidence and lead an orgasmic life because life's too short for mediocre pleasure and half-hearted success. 

So get comfy, get curious and let's dive in. Welcome to Sexcess and today's topic is all about how we can deepen intimacy and connection. I don't know about you but in today's a fast-paced world those intimate moments can often become more of a routine and become very rushed and the focus can shift from that genuine connection to merely achieving a physical goal. 

That can leave us emotionally and physically unsatisfied. So what do we do about it? Enter mindful sex. Now mindful sex for me has been a game changer over the years. 

It is a really transformative approach that invites partners to be really present, engaged and deeply connected and rooted in mindfulness principles are really something about being fully aware, being in a moment and not just in a moment but in a moment without judgment. Mindful sex really enhances both physical and emotional intimacy and fosters that trust and connection for well just much deeper pleasure. So what's at the core of mindful sex? Well mindful sex is really about being fully present during any sexual experience.

It's about not having that usual typical rushed destination focus. You know when you're just focusing on reaching an orgasm or aiming to fill the expectations of yourself or your partner. Mindful sex really encourages partners to slow down, appreciate all those body sensations and cultivate real emotional intimacy. 

Mindful sex is an approach that fosters rich meaningful experiences. It can deepen the bond between partners and simply really involves staying focused, being present in a moment, getting rid of those distractions mentally, physically, emotionally, those external distractions and being completely in the moment sharing what you're doing, sharing what you're experiencing. In the context of sex it means letting go of performance anxiety and reframing that need to satisfy, to be doing something, to be and just be in a moment. 

This is about tuning into your sensations, tuning into your body, your emotions and the energy that you share between you. So let's take a look at the benefits. Incorporating mindful sex into your sexual experiences offers numerous benefits for both of you in all aspects of your relationship. 

Firstly enhances emotional connection. Mindful sex fosters that real open communication and vulnerability, allows partners to be emotionally present with one another. It deepens intimacy, leads to stronger relational bonds, trust and both partners feel seen and valued. 

It also increases sensory awareness. Practicing mindful sex heightens focus. It gives you that connection to bodily sensations and the tactile, auditory, visual aspects of intimacy. 

It really helps you tap into all of the sensuality of sex. It enhances awareness, amplifies pleasure and creates just a more satisfying experience for all those involved. It can also reduce stress and anxiety because by embracing the present we let go of those distractions. 

Mindful sex is really about reducing stress and anxiety, not only within the side of the intimacy but just in the whole energy of what's happening. When you connect to this relaxed state, it encourages a calmness and creates far more enjoyable connection and an experience, free from any pressure, free from expectation, just being with whatever is. Hey you, yes you, are you ready to take your pleasure, confidence and success to the next level? Well whether it's a workshop, keynote talk, online course or private coaching, I've got the magic to empower you to unlock your full orgasmic potential. 

Let's make waves, break taboos, create some real transformation for your life because you deserve more happiness, more confidence and a whole lot more of yes. Find out more at orgasmiclife.me or check out the show notes. And better sexual experiences mean better sexual satisfaction. 

So without the drive to reach any goal like an orgasm, individuals can really appreciate the journey of sex. It can lead to more fulfilling encounters because you're focusing on where you're at in the moment and not where you're going. And also it improves communication because mindful sex automatically fosters an open dialogue, gets you talking about your needs, your wants, your desires, your boundaries.

It creates mutual respect and develops a sense of real deep communication. I know that these have been my key to really embracing sex intimacy and pleasure on a completely different level. When you let go of all of the performance anxiety, when you let go of the destination, when you let go of the need to achieve anything or go anywhere, then everything automatically becomes more connected, more enhanced and more enjoyable.

So have I got any tips for practicing this beautiful mindful sex? Well, yes, I have. The first thing I would always say is slow down, slow down and breathe. Mindful sex involves just really slowing the whole body down, slowing the breath down and really enjoying every sensation in every single moment. 

Deep synchronized breathing can get you connected to mindfulness, to your partner, and it helps calm the nervous system down, bringing both of you into the present. Synchronizing your breath with your partner can really deepen connection. It's a beautiful thing to share, just eye gazing together and breathing. 

That's real intimacy. And focusing on the senses. So during sex, tuning into your senses, pay attention to your partner's skin, the sound of their breath, the taste of their kiss, and the sense in the environment, the things you can smell, the things you can connect to in the space around you.

It's delicious. Focusing on these can help you heighten the experience and just make it more, make it more immersive. Being aware and not drifting off to what you're doing Tuesday, to work, to wherever else sometimes our mind can go, but just really focusing on the senses and letting go of those expectations. 

I think this is something that many of us get tied up in, what should we be doing, where should we be going, the things that should and should not happen. Just release that, let it go. Mindful sex embraces the experience as it is, rather than focusing on any specific outcome. 

Shift your attention from goals like orgasm to the journey. It's about the journey and not the destination. Make sure you create a relaxing environment, a setting that supports you to engage in sex and enjoy the experience.

Establishing a comfortable environment where you can both feel at ease can really just change things on such a different level. Create soft lighting, calming music, you can have some candles burning, aromatherapy, create a really beautiful intimate space for you to share. So what other tips have I got? Well, there's also one of my favorites, which is bring in some tantric techniques, some tantra practices. 

Now, tantra really emphasizes sacred sexuality, incorporates mindfulness in everything it does, and also brings in things like I said about eye gazing, your breath work, and really adding in that emotional and energetic connection. These practices really enable both partners to feel grounded and centered, and in tune with one another. And that's absolutely vital. 

In one of my episodes in the near future, we're going to be talking about tantra practices and how we can really navigate those in the bedroom and in our relationship. And bringing in those activities to enhance mindful sex. So really bringing in activities that can support you to enhance each other's connection. 

These can be things like meditation, beautiful rituals, like I said, tantra rituals, preparing for intimacy, exploring new forms of touch, new forms of sensory experience, getting playful, engaging activities together outside of the bedroom, sending each other love notes, and little messages and really building the energy around what you're going to share. It's a beautiful way to connect, it's a beautiful way to enhance what you're going to be sharing. Whatever you decide to connect to around mindful sex, I can guarantee 100% it will transform your intimacy and help you foster those deeper connections that I know many of us actually long for. 

We get into habits, we get into routines, we get into processes, and we forget about the experience. And it's the experience we want. We want to be with our partner, sharing a beautiful experience. 

And if mindfulness is something really new to you, as an individual, start practicing it in your everyday life. Be mindful with a cup of tea, be mindful when you go walking. Start to practice slowing yourself down, start to practice connecting to your senses, start practicing connecting to your breath. 

Practice all of these skills that you can then take into the bedroom, taking well whatever room, other rooms available, and taking into your intimacy so that they're not strangers to you. And I don't mean your partner, I mean the actual activities of mindfulness. Practicing them outside of the bedroom can build your confidence in exploring them inside the bedroom. 

Mindfulness changed everything for me in the bedroom because I was in my head, I was in the process, I wasn't in the experience, I was getting into routines. And I know that when I slowed down, when I realized I was in that place of disconnection, when I started to slow down, when I tuned into all of these things I've talked about, everything changed. And actually, like I said, these are things for everyday life.

Life can become a routine, life can become a process. And mindfulness can be used in and out of the bedroom to help us experience life in such a completely different way. There's so much of our life we miss because we're doing. 

And we're not doers, we're beers, we're human beings, we're not human doings. Enjoying our life is really about being mindful in our experiences. Enjoying our sex is about being mindful in our experiences. 

And actually, this is relevant even if you don't have a partner. Like, be present with what is. Enjoy it, experience it, connect with it. 

It will absolutely change how you connect with your body and your partner. It's exciting and I'm really, really, really excited for you to be able to take this on and for you to be able to implement this in your everyday life so that you can lead, you got it, an orgasmic life. And that's a wrap for this week's episode of Sexcess. 

And remember, your pleasure, power and confidence are not luxuries, they are your birthright. So go out there, own your desires and create a life that turns you on. Want more? Well, head over to orgasmiclife.me or check the show notes. 

Until next time, stay bold, stay empowered and live your best orgasmic life.