030 - Men, Mental Health & Rediscovering Self-Worth - Part 2

In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Gary Magor and I go even deeper into the emotional landscape of modern masculinity. We talk about breaking generational patterns, shifting self-talk, and how daily habits can rewire the way we think, feel and show up in the world.

Gary shares what helped him move from stress and burnout to clarity and confidence, how his ADD diagnosis reshaped his journey, and why self-respect and emotional intelligence are essential to thriving as a man today.

We explore how internal pressure impacts relationships, parenting, intimacy and identity. We also talk about ownership, mindset, and how our stories shape our lives - until we choose to rewrite them.

If you’re holding it all together on the outside but feeling the cracks on the inside, this is the episode for you.

Visit the Orgasmic Life website for more information

Proudly edited by Mike at Making Digital Real

Transcript

Welcome back to this amazing conversation with Gary. Welcome to Sexcess the podcast where we unleash the power of sex, intimacy and pleasure to fuel your personal and professional development. This is an over 18 space and things are about to get hot, juicy and oh so deliciously unfiltered. 

So buckle up or loosen up because we are diving deep. I'm Lorraine Crookes your host and personal sexual empowerment liberator and award-winning speaker, number one best-selling author, columnist, educator, healer and on occasions a stand-up comedian. I'm here to help you ditch the shame, ignite the confidence and lead an orgasmic life because life's too short for mediocre pleasure and half-hearted success. 

So get comfy, get curious and let's dive in. I'm not gonna say you're never gonna doubt yourself ever again or maybe be a little bit anxious. For me being on camera makes me anxious which is completely stupid because I love being me now. 

Now that I understand these things, it seems I wasted so much time in this dark place and I recognize that there are a lot of men in this position, in this dark place, especially with the suicide rate, mental health and I feel there's something I can do, that I can give back and I'm not looking to... my ulterior motives don't exist. It is literally what it is. I want to get men talking, I want to have men comfortable within themselves. 

If they're comfortable within themselves, the relationships are stronger, they can communicate better, they can convey their feelings better. So even though you've got the masculine energy, a little bit of the feminine energy works as well and being able to recognize that within yourself and be comfortable, then the world is your oyster. I think the difference as well is, like you were saying you get anxious on camera, but it's a different type of anxiety because now you see it as an opportunity to grow as opposed to something you're owning as an anxiety and I think that's the mindset, the mindset stuff that you're working with now with the stages that you've got, the five hours and all the different things you're doing. 

It doesn't mean to say that life doesn't make us anxious sometimes, it's having the tools which is what you provide to go, hang on a minute, this is now an opportunity to come on a podcast, to make an advert or whatever it might be for your business. It's that shift, isn't it? Yes, it's still creating anxiety but it's seeing it through different eyes really and seeing that as an opportunity and I think that's the important bit that I love about what you do and also like you were saying about the father's father and the father's father, what you're doing is breaking those generational patterns for men that are living in our world because those generational patterns are not serving us in 2025 because that was their time then and some of these patterns go back years. I was talking to somebody a couple of days ago and they were saying about they can almost feel and when they look back like they know how their mother was treated by their mother and that pattern and they can feel it and they kind of stop themselves with their own kids of the way they talk to them or the information they're providing them or the man's, you know, be a man, don't cry, tell your son, don't cry, be a big boy, like the language and all of that is that that's the stuff and we're not living in that world anymore, it's that we're living in a different world and it's how do we support people like you said to break those chains where we can adapt to the world we're living in and tap into the masculine and feminine, all of us, so that we're better equipped to live the life we're living really.

It's exactly that, it's those social and hereditary conditioning, these little sound bites of information that people just blurt out and it's like I understand why you're doing it but have you ever researched it or have you ever looked into it, can you tell me why you're doing that, is it making you feel better rather than actually answering my question and I have all these cascading questions coming from my mind and people go I don't worry about it but but clearly I am, I need to unwrap that, I need to understand why, where this is coming from and it's a big pet peeve of mine where people try and placate a situation and sometimes it's good to have a vent, just get it out of your system but one of the things I wanted to touch in on is the one of the things that got me into this is because I've spoken to people, men and women and they're like I'm broken, I'm unworthy, I'm unlovable and it's really heartbreaking to see and it happens on multiple occasions and these people are focused on a mindset which it really isn't them and it's a case of right how can I snap people out of this and I like to discover practical ways of breaking like the negative self-talk and some people say oh it's just instincts but it's not, it's really where did that instinct come from, you're not born putting yourself down so why live that way? For me it's just a habit of things, I know when I was a secondary school teacher people would ask you how you doing and you'd be like oh you know I'm struggling to get all the work done, I'm struggling to get the marking done and actually if you're actually in teaching, if you ever said I'm alright, I'm doing really well, everything's under control, they'd be like well you can't be doing your job properly then because why aren't you up to your ears in marking, why aren't you stressing about the kids, why haven't you got all this stuff going on and I actually spoke to somebody at the week last weekend who works in the construction industry and they were talking about the energy in that about how that plays out like you were saying that the making people small that you know the the lad that makes the tea getting the one that's getting the piss taken out of him and whatever else it might be and it's just like all these different injuries having these cultures that actually the people that are working in them are living in another world as well outside of that industry that hasn't moved on that's still stuck in a rut and I think like you've said like the world of hospitality can be very much like that so I'm stuck in a bit of a time warp that we're different people living in a very different world and some of that stuff that goes on in some of these industries has absolutely catastrophic effects on people's well-being the language that's being used the mindset the approach to work it doesn't fit in the outside world no I don't consider it character building anymore I think that's dying out it's and what kind of character you trying to build in the first place you want to make you trying to say to yourself that it's going to be make them strong it's sort of resilient but it's not having that effect anymore people are questioning more but it's the the sheer loss of time in people's lives which strikes me as quite tragic why are you gonna let someone else tell you how you should feel about yourself why are you gonna let them ruin your day and you kind of stuck in this business where you if you want to earn money you need to be around these people but they're all outdated it's not having the effect they want the people are doubting themselves even more the unfortunately the self-inflicting part of it doesn't go away part of it is there because you dwell on it you do think about it you do you are left with time to answer your own questions and if you come up with a wrong answer it's it could have devastating effects which could go on for four years it's like you wouldn't leave a child alone to come up with his own answers of say you get a smack for something but if they divert the wrong answer that could have a lifelong effects in their their mindset it could be a trauma for them because they never received an answer or never received reassurance I mean I don't think many men will like me saying that but men do seek assurance they like to know that they're valid and they have a purpose in life I think with I mean men aren't exactly standing in the way of female empowerment I mean most of the people I follow are these amazing women they all look gorgeous in their pictures they're all striking out ordering amazing okay some of it's a little pinch of salt kind of thing it could just be for social media but men have to start questioning now what's my role in life if women are doing so well I'm not needed am I surplus to requirement now do I have a I know it's going a bit deep in a bit dark but it's like do I have a purpose on this earth anymore will I be redundant as a male and you can go down this dark spiral trying to figure this out and the part of why another reason why I do what it's like no no that's not the case you can still exist on this world as a strong confident individual and whatever happens after that you'll be able to handle it but I agree because I actually think we're kind of almost building each other up because there was a point where women were like hang on a minute you know what are we doing and that's many like well hang on a minute it's just like good you know one deserves a place but it's almost like I don't think it's a battle of the battle of the sexes whatsoever I disagree but I do think there are pivots in in time and in our history where we do need to stop and reflect you know what I'd like to be honest in our own bloody lives like we all need to stop and go actually what is my purpose why am I here what is my what is my value to my family to my world to me what is it I want to get out of my life and before you turn around to go oh it's happened it's all too late isn't it it's it's it's stopping and also for the stress and the anxiety the knock-on effect of physical health when we're living in that energy of just surviving not always in a good way but the knock-on effect it has on our health and then that's definitely can get to the point where it's too late because we're struggling then with health issues and then we get stuck in another cycle of anxiety and depression and stress and and then particularly for men I think that then becomes a real challenge because sometimes it's in about not being able to provide for themselves or the people around them are not feeling like they're stepping into their masculine role which society still has for them and they have for themselves which I get and then it's that they're stuck in that loop aren't they what what do you do what do you do in your daily life what are your daily practices and the things that you do to help you stay in your lane as Gary I'm not suggesting they're beautifully done every day at the same time and because we're all human but what things do you try and embed or as you're on your journey because I know a lot this is unfolding for you still but what are the things that you're trying to do that you found that helped you as a man that anyone listening who's in that masculine energy might think ah that's something I could try instantly one thing I would say is cutting out the negative self-talk and even if you can remove it from your your day-to-day language when talking to people I mean I personally see swearing as dramatic emphasis it's entertaining at times you can get people's attention but it doesn't really serve a purpose you don't really need to have it in the conversation but because of my 30 plus years in catering I do struggle with the environment sometimes as much as I I look to be the person I am outside and doing the weather transported man where whenever I'm back in the kitchen even if I'm just helping out for a day I almost revert back to my old patterns and it's got to the stage where I mean if you go into emotional intelligence you're going right I need to understand the other person's position and be able to react to it and to be able to listen to them to be able to understand them but if people themselves aren't at the stage where they can recognize their primal behavior or this Jim Paradox book would say will call this as a Jim mindset I used to find myself just being quiet and just doing my work quietly in the corner and I spent decades going virtually unseen and they got to the point where I'm like oh this is just really isn't me so I started getting rid of negative self-talk I started on a course of personal growth I try and learn something every day I listen to motivational speakers and it's okay so I want to carry forward this positive energy I mean I sometimes sit there in my car looking at my hands as my two choices like continue where I am or move forward in my favor and sooner or later I know that's gonna be both hands move forward in my favor it is it can be a slow progress getting to that stage but it is possible to be able to jump straight into the positive mindset to be able to do things which empower you I think ownership of where you are what you're doing takes a large part of the credit here and I go to the gym most days I have time to think I like to go for a walk but it's important to me to be able to pass it on whether it's my niece or nephew whoever's people I'm talking to just treating people with more respect and just being able to know what they're going through what their day is like and being able to empathize the relationship the relationship you build when you're in this positive state are very rewarding and it just makes me feel happy makes me feel better hey you yes you are you ready to take your pleasure confidence and success to the next level well whether it's a workshop keynote talk online course or private coaching I've got the magic to empower you to unlock your full orgasmic potential let's make waves break taboos create some real transformation for your life because you deserve more happiness more confidence and a whole lot more of yes find out more at orgasmiclife.me or check out the show notes bringing that round like you're saying about the impact it has on relationships obviously that's my that's my bubble what do you think you know the people that you're working with and the things that you're seeing in the world what do you think this negative self-talk this stress this anxiety this pressure which is probably the energy it's what kind of what do you think that has in regards to relationship obviously we've been talking about the one with ourself but what what do you think that knock-on effect can be and what knock-on effects do you see in people's personal relationships maybe with a partner or their kids or you know mine's about the bedroom which again if you're in a place of self-doubt and an anxiety and stress and you've got a lot of negative self-talk and low self esteem and self-confidence that's going to have an effect on how you show up in other areas your life what do you think the kind of connection is between how we feel about ourselves and then how we show up for other people whether that's our kids or an intimate relationship yeah exactly it's it's like what you do it's incredibly valuable to get this into the people's lives get them thinking about it to get them being more aware ultimately the the negativity the the self-doubt is crushing and it can be whether you're aware of it or not you're passing it on to others you're introducing it into your kids lives your intimate partner's life and it can ruin their day just just one little comment one little snap one little even if you don't answer that could be something about being being able to go genuinely and say tell me about your day just casual little things it's almost like removing an obstacle or not creating the obstacle in the first place to be able to sit there at the end of the day with your kids and say that how are you what you're doing what have you done today and have a genuine connection where they're so relaxed and you're so relaxed that there's a closeness is created this bonds between you just is reinforced but if you're constantly tired and your doubts and your worries the anxieties are having effect on you mentally they're most likely to have an effect on you physically as well and that can show up with anxiety could be overeating it could be not eating at all if you're snapping at your partner too much for little things even if you have to be able to turn around and say your your point is just as valid as mine but I would like to hear it I need you to have your time as much as there's an equality it's like some people say like it really is a partnership you're good as yourself but you're stronger together to be able to go through life in this position where it's not obligated to ask how the day was or it's not obligated to to go through things like oh do I have to I've got to do this because that no one else is around to do it well it's not actually what you think it is if you took the stress and the negativity away from what you're doing it's like yeah okay I'll be there in a second the word choices you have in your own heads play a big part I was working in the kitchen yesterday and one of the chefs was like I'll be able to help you in a minute just that hearing that I'll be over there just knowing that support was coming what I made a big difference and if you could be like that in your own relationships it would just be more I don't really like to use the word blissful but just more it's easier I think I think the beautiful thing I love about these conversations over people is we always end up saying that actually what we need to be doing more is communicating a lot of this all comes down to not just more communication but how we communicate you know placing blame on other people using the I statement I feel like this but you made me feel like this or this is your fault or like taking responsibility for feelings taking responsibility for managing our own stress for finding tools like you provide to manage that so it's not anybody else's fault we're taking ownership of our own emotions finding tools to manage them and the actually the communication with ourself having those conversations like you said with ourself and and finding changing the self-talk the communication with ourself which I think could be actually harder sometimes to change the communication with ourselves than the communication with somebody else because it's almost ingrained sometimes I think on a cellular level that that negative self-talk is literally where we live in our story it's almost like we've created our own shit and we want to live in it because we're used to it and we know it works for us and then that's like you know this is my story my story works for me it's the only thing I know so I'm just gonna hang on to it and that includes stress anxiety trauma but we're just hanging on to all these parts of us rather than going I could change this if if I change my perception of my story my self-talk how I perceive my situations as you said earlier you know you've got your two hands I always say there's always a choice on how we respond to every situation and it's not always an easy choice but there is always a choice on how we perceive it and how we think about a situation in no matter what it is but I think it's we get so wired to automatically going to the negative it's almost like the first switch we have to go no no hang on a minute we're just switch it over to the other side because we automatically I think a lot of that is the cultures we live in because we're taught we're taught to look for the negatives and not think there might be positive because and I also think there's a part of it my head's jumping now because this is such a big topic but also if we go for the negative we can't get hurt because we expect in disappointment and rubbish and stuff so a nice full of that stuff and actually what we do is we manifest that because we're almost creating a mindset that we're expecting it well if you expect it that's kind of what you end up attracting because you're almost wired for that's all that there is within your space in your life it's just what you what you physically almost look for in life is what you find so if you're looking for rubbish you're gonna find rubbish if you're looking for negativity you're gonna find it if you're looking for stress you're gonna find it whereas if you're looking for joy and hope because you're more open to that those things you know more pleasurable experiences are going to come into your into your pathway and into your your life I just all these examples you're giving I think a great because we can relate to them and I think most people can adapt them to their own life whatever work situation they're in personal situation they're in and it and as you said it does have a knocking effect to everyone around us it can't yeah it's just a little bit like a domino effect I mean for me changing my negative self-talk felt like that the biggest struggle just getting that first domino to go and then once you become more aware it just seems to happen quicker and quicker you start recognizing positivity you start recognizing opportunity places to be grateful for people to to forgive if they've ever wronged you and you've been holding on to it for the rest of your whole life and you start becoming lighter and freer and I mean as much as I don't really agree with the term let it go it's a case of changing the energy it's almost I mean they bill it some people call it cognitive reframing where you take the energy you put into being negative and suddenly focus it all into being positive that's a big way of understanding it but I mean as much as though the facts and the numbers change a little bit when they say something like oh 68% of people are negative and the rest are all positive let's just say that 68% was 10 steps and positivity you find it on the 11th step so you're gonna go for your life only taking three steps if you just went just that one little bit further that one little bit you change say self-deprecating humor into self-promoting humor it's still funny but you're not chipping away at your own psyche you're not chipping away at your own self-image and it starts tapping into limiting beliefs and who put them there the kind of thing I think self-talk the negative self-talk is I don't think people realize the impact that has is it does like when you're saying the same thing over and over and over again to yourself I know I did that for years and when I changed it and I realized no one else thought the same thing as me I was the only person that thought the thoughts I was having like no one else saw me how I saw me or the negative things I saw about myself when I started changing it and I was talking about my story people are well why did you think that because we've never thought that about you and and these things we tell ourselves are often the furthest thing from the truth on you know whether we think you know maybe I thought I was a bad teacher or a bad mom or a bad whatever and you you start having conversations a bit like well no I actually thought you were really you know whatever people's perceptions of us are never the same as we see ourself and yet we hang on to all these negative attributes about ourself that somehow in our perception we've validated and that's not to say that there's not going to be situations in life where people may validate them but often we're kind of exaggerating these things as almost a way of surviving and and kind of taking them on as labels and identities because that negative self-talk again like we said is it's almost a way of surviving I think it's it's such a powerful thing what you say to to try and reframe that change them to positive how do people how do you think people one of the things I always say like with affirmations and stuff you can look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful every day believe in it something very different and telling yourself you're amazing human being but like you've got to believe that almost on a cellular level with you if you're changing your self-talk Gary how can you really I can do it in practice I can do all my internet has just said I'm running out of battery hang on a minute let me just let me just I'll edit that okay so I can tell myself every day in the mirror I'm beautiful or I'm really clever or whatever it might be and I can change my self-talk to believing that I'm a confident amazing human being but how how how do you think we can really make that make that's a long energy how can we build that positive self-talk to really change our pathway and our destiny how do we how do we imprint that into ourselves well like I say it is building it is an amount of repetition there are certain things that you won't vibe with I show my age now I really like music and there's one point I was thinking how can I put myself when you see like a singer on stage really putting their heart and soul into every experience I wanted to know what physiologically that would feel like so let's say you're imitating them and you're in your car you're belting your heart out you're singing at the top of your lungs blood's coursing through your veins you feel amazing these endorphins these chemicals and stuff were releasing in your body it's like what kind of songs would reinforce that and I know most people say oh well back back in the day all songs used to be about love in one way or another but it's like imagine these these words that you're saying to yourself or something like the bond thing nobody does it better if that's kind of running in the background or the one and only these little things like there could be an album I do think I've got an excellent voice but it's it's only for me that is what my other business is about the funkhouser.co.uk it's about surrounding yourself with positivity it's been a few years since I sort of had the idea but it's a case of creating the environment around you taking the saying surrounding yourself with positivity to its literal sense if you're wearing a t-shirt and you feel emboldened and I've got one with He-Man on it says I have the power and that's along the lines of mentally and physically I have the power to go out into the world and be my best self and then there's this cushions you can have on the throw rug and if you subliminally you're taking in the message of unstoppable or I've got one with She-Ra the princess of power on it if you're taking in these messages of positivity around you my next phase is to have posters with similar messages they can have around the house on the postcards on the on the fridge stickers for the mirrors around the house no matter where it is you're surrounding yourself these little message is gonna sink in these are like the the reverse of self deprecating here the happy thing you sound about in your ass thing isn't it it's like rebuild the reinforcement and it does have an effect whether you're physically saying it to yourself or you're witnessing it around you even if say you're a mum and you want your kids confidence to be improved there's a lady out there called Marissa Peer who uses the phrase I am enough and it's these little things that you can say to yourself or you casually glass your glimpse you know won't realize you've seen it 15 times that day but it will slowly reinforce it's these little practical things yeah and suddenly maybe someone like a joke at your expense but you'll be able to like come back with this super confident reply to them and like no it doesn't matter what you say you're entitled to your opinion but it doesn't affect me know what it's really funny you say that I can remember when my I started to have that mind shift and you'd be surprised when you're standing in your confidence suit whatever that looks like you what you can come back with you're like where did they come it's been like a complete shock to you at the same time because you because you it's also almost automatic once you step into this new version of you you know those things kind of used to worry me like you know what do people think of me because I'm now this I can remember going from a teacher to a like a mindfulness coach and people like what's happened to her she's got some midlife crisis she's now gone woo-woo and does talk about energy work and all of that and actually because I was so confident and so connected to this version of myself when I I was starting to find out who I was and I was doing the affirmations and I was doing energy work and and starting to see life through different eyes I would come back with these one-liners and I'd be like well I need a pen and paper because that was good with your unconscious mind is responding differently your your physical words that come out your mouth it's getting in there yeah you don't find yourself coming back with the same rubbish and and negative responses you come back with something that's quite quick and quirky and you're just like wow yeah as a part of yourself going yeah I'm proud of myself for that that was excellent let's have more of that and you start looking for the opportunities and it's it's it's quite a shift to go from the negative to the positive it is possible a lot of time think people believe that it is and sometimes maybe the smallest effort you can put in is when you're in a bad situation you can just go okay this isn't me I don't have to take on the negative or the bad feelings whatever's going on this is this is not forever this is not where the end of my journey kind of thing this is not the end of my story I will move forward it really is the ownership and the I statements working in your favor and being able to to go out into the world knowing that nothing's gonna affect you you're not gonna be mean I've seen people that are in such a bad mental state that it takes on a physical nature they start to look very sickly eyes are sunken in they're tired in the kitchen you can be cutting yourself you could be burning yourself you could be dipping your hands in the oil or the hot fryer you could be accidentally touching the hot oven door and it almost comes like a validation because you feel bad that's where you need to stay no you really don't I know it sounds stupid like oh yeah it's easier for you to say but do you simply do not need to stay there you do not need to be there every day is a new day what can I do today what's gonna light me up what how can I serve you know what's gonna make me happy because if I'm happy the people around me are gonna be happy but it is a one day what is one day at a time I know when I had you know I was really poorly and I was teaching I'd Ella Pisha and it was about my body was screaming at me get out of here and when I did step out I was so lost with who I was I had an idea about literally one day at a time one day at a time tomorrow's gonna be another day tomorrow's gonna be a better day so I was gonna you know show me what it wants for me tomorrow's gonna be literally the new start of another book it was like every day was a new chapter until I found my feet back in my new life but you kind of oh it's almost taking those little risks each day of just changing a little thing to serve you in a better way whether it's do you know what else I and I know I know this is a comment when I started becoming more positive all the negative people in my life just seemed to disappear like they just kind of you I didn't push them away I didn't cross them off of Facebook I didn't do anything physically but when I started being more positive those people stopped hanging around me I wasn't being miserable with them anymore they didn't want to know me so it was like you find yourself attracting different people in your life as well it's like it's just a strangest thing but it is a it is a one day at a time and it can as you said you can be in this great place and then you go back into work where there's a culture and I was gonna say it's like you hang on to your apron Gary literally who you are you need to have some big affirmations on that apron yeah maybe I should do that stop reading a lot of wedding on there ripple effects and the thing oh it's been lovely to talk to you let's let's share where can we find you on social media where can we find out more about you where are you hanging out that we can come and explore who you are and what you do in our own in our own time what what social media you're on and where can we reach you I am on Facebook as the transported man I'm on Instagram as well you can find me on LinkedIn I'm the Gary Magel reach out and connect you've got a question you just want to talk my niche is people who are 25 to 50 are high achievers feeling lost isolated alone disconnected to perhaps their own masculinity and I also dabble it's not dabbing because it's me it's what I'm going through the ADD and ADHD my Zen how to turn chaos into clarity I welcome more questions come and have a go and you're happy for going and do talks as well aren't you yes absolutely once the website is up and running there will be opportunities to have one-to-ones then I'll be moving into group sessions as well ideally it all results as well as my big thing I really want to achieve is to be able to have men's retreats where it's a safe space to come and talk as the group meetings would be but it also be a place to have guest speakers I'd have because I'm a chef I would have guest chefs come along and you can have that casual non-judgmental environment we can just chat about stuff but we also build you up we go through the five hours during the retreats experience and yes it's not just men being men you and it's not a case of blame fear of judgment there also be a chance to have a chat with special guest speakers which I hopefully I'd like to have you along when my retreat because I'm just thinking hang on this is a time in my life I wished on a man it's a retreat that's run by a chef with like-minded people that just sounds like my heaven good food good company and some chill out space so I'm more than happy to come and be a guest speaker but you may not get rid of me I might just stay the whole time by all means I mean I'm looking at the moment to do a three day four day five day it may be eventually be a seven day being like the ultimate package but yes it's more like a bonding experience as well at the same time I faces the very much needed I'm a that's time at the rat race find find a bit of you you to be you yeah and having that time in a space like that where you can really embed like your your your system to have that time or you're not keep jumping in and out of the rat race that you can have to really consolidate what you're learning and practice it ready to move back into life because I think you know we often go off and learn these things and then suddenly like you say you're back in the workplace you're back and it's so hard if you've really if it's if it's being with like-minded people and you've really made that shift and connected and you've seen the difference it can make it's so much easier to then embed it into your life I think that's gonna be awesome I can't wait for that exciting well thank you for your time thank you as always I'm pleased to go he does amazing work he's got some awesome products and obviously the service of the transmitted man as well so I look forward to seeing you soon Gary all the best with your venture and we will catch up very soon you take care of course and you take it and that's a wrap for this week's episode of success and remember your pleasure power and confidence are not luxuries they are your birthright so go out there own your desires and create a life that turns you on what more well head over to orgasmic life dot me or check the show notes until next time stay bold stay empowered and live your best orgasmic life