Self-love- Embracing the Art of Saying "No" for Authentic Living

Establishing healthy boundaries is a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of self-love. This episode explores how saying no can liberate individuals from guilt and create space for true authenticity and positive relationships. 

• Emphasizing the importance of self-love and boundaries 
• Addressing societal pressures on women to overgive 
• Discussing the emotional burden of always saying yes 
• Advocating the right to prioritize personal needs 
• Encouraging gradual implementation of boundaries 
• Navigating relationships while setting boundaries 
• Purifying social circles from toxic individuals 
• Celebrating the beauty of living authentically

To book Women 1-1 Coaching/Mentoring, email- healwithdiline@gmail.com 

Transcript

Healthy Boundaries

Speaker 1 0:00

Hello , salaam , peace be upon you wherever you are on this planet . Welcome back to a new episode of In Peace , where we come together to listen , to heal and to grow . And today's episode is continuing from last episodes , which is about the topic of self-love , recapping on how can we put self-love into practice . So we started last time we talked about by putting self-compassion into practice , a containing ourselves with all our um , full human nature , full human experience of a imperfections flows , a love it all , contain it all , accept it and create ways of building self-confidence through it all . Today we will talk about another way of putting self-love into and to practice , and this , this way , might not be the easiest way for some a , but it is important to , to make it a way of life , really to be able to live a true life , and this is keeping healthy boundaries . I know , as I said , this might be quote-unquote difficult , especially for women , and I don't mean that some men might not find it also difficult , but I know , let's face it , women are often expected to , to say yes to everything . Men have that and and , and surely they need this reminder of keeping healthy boundaries as part of practice and self-love a , but I'm aware in many societies . This is the expectations from women that they always need to keep giving and overgiving and overgiving , whether they're mothers , sisters , wives , workers . And because this is the nature , the feminine nature , we love to give , we love to aim to be able to give others , whether it's emotions or material things or time . It's built in the nature , but also sometimes the society . Pressure and expectations can make it worse . So it's all about finding balance and finding courage to love yourself . You shouldn't really need courage , but it does with with with some of the barriers that people build in society , but also and they're all minds a to put in boundaries . So , and some women sadly feel like , if they say no or not give , quote , unquote enough that they feel trapped in emotions of feeling guilty or shame at times . But today is the time to change this , if you're not already like started this as part of your healing . Today is the time and it is .

Speaker 1 4:39

Having these healthy boundaries is at the heart of self-love and it's like an an ongoing purification , ongoing unfolding , because we can put some boundaries and then go back and and fall into not not doing that or saying yes when we , when we're deeply saying no . So it's an ongoing thing . So also it's important not to judge yourself if you fall into a overgiving of , or or being people pleasing at time , even if you went through that awareness of putting these boundaries , because we can fall into that and sometimes it's a pressure as well . So it is important to have also self-compassion within putting these healthy boundaries and and keep up with them . So it is time . It is time it is time to start from today that remembering that also , just as you give and I know you love giving you also like need to receive and be open to receiving support , and when you're over giving , you can't really , you can't really live a true life sometimes , because sometimes you might be given from lack or from pressure of expectations or the .

Speaker 1 6:41

The typical thing of not having boundaries is to always , always , always say yes to everything , to every invite , to every like , every person who asks you for something you constantly fall into saying yes , even though you're deep inside your soul , is telling you no , like you're too tired , for example , to babysit tonight , or you can not really up for going to that whatever wedding or women's gathering . It's not really your vibe , but you're too embarrassed to say no or like , oh , what are they gonna think if I said no or blah blah , so just not , basically not putting yourself first , not putting your values first , not putting your needs first , just to please others . So you just say yes and go somewhere you don't want to go to or do something you don't want to do to please others . And that means like you have zero boundaries , you're and like all your needs are are not met and you're in constant doubt what you should do more to please more . But remember , you have the right to say no . You have the right to listen to your heart . You have the absolute right , if not even duty , to be true to yourself , to say no when you're tired or simply because you don't feel like it . And , more importantly , you don't need to justify yourself . You don't need to justify why . You get rid of all the feelings of guilt , of shame , of saying no .

Speaker 1 9:12

And I know , to start with , it might not be easy or not the easiest , because I believe there is always ease and you can choose to to make it easy for yourself . But let's face it comes with challenges . So the best way of doing it is to do it gradually , start today , from today , and or try it whoever asks you for something and you don't really , you can't really help maybe , but you , you just push yourself and say , oh , I'll try , or I'll do it , or or no , just simply say , to be honest , I can't do it , or , to be honest , I can't come to that event , or or just simply because you can't , or you have other things , or you're simply just feeling like a you want to spend some time with yourself . Um , so , and try it , observe how you feel . You might start with feel some guilt or some shame , but just having the awareness of these and and say I know , this is my old self , this is what I'm used to do , but I'm purifying this , I'm choosing to be true to myself from today and I'm choosing to say no with ease , without shame , without anything , and this is what your mindset will be like . Your brain will hear this or I choose to say no with ease , and then will this is , will become , become your programming and it will be really easy .

Speaker 1 11:08

Yes , some challenges will come with some relationships with people you have because they're used to you always saying no , always rushing to please them was rushing to please them . So again , that's one of the tests of putting boundaries , but again it can be two ways . So it'll be maybe a challenge for you . Love your peace , love you to be true to yourself . These will always stick around , they will always support you and they will never , ever judge you , whatever you say , whatever you do .

Speaker 1 12:02

On the other , those who just have you in their circle for their own benefits . They might be really intimidated or offended even . But again , that will purify your life , your whole life , from them . You know we do have people around us . Social life is an important aspect of our life . But having , quote unquote , the wrong people or those who take advantage of you , it's not healthy for your life , it's not healthy for your life , it's not healthy for your healing . So it's again purifying your life of these kind of people and it will make space for those who understand , for those who understand , for those who respect your boundaries , for those who you respect and honor your self-love . So no regrets in any way . Keep your self-compassion in that journey , because it can be emotional , quote-unquote , losing , but there's no such thing as losing such people but because you got used to maybe having them around or it might be a bit of a challenge to start with , but then it'll get so much easier and you'll be grateful that it happened . So it's so important to have these healthy boundaries and it's so healthy . It becomes the new you , the new life that you have , the healthy a life .

Speaker 1 14:18

And the most important thing of this part is that you win your truth

Living Truthfully

Speaker 1 14:23

.

Speaker 1 14:23

You win yourself , because when you say no all the time , that means you're not really living a true life , you're not really truthful to yourself and you don't really want to lie to yourself . You don't really want to lie to yourself , you don't really want to live a fake life , even though you support all these values of truth and living truly . So that's , to me , the most important bit of putting boundaries is to be true to yourself . Having a true , truthful life is so beautiful and it becomes so easy once you do it . From that place of being truthful , truly , truly , truly truthful , and better people will come to your life who honor your self-love , who honor you and who honor your truth . At the end of this episode , I pray that you find ease in putting boundaries healthy boundaries in your life and find good connections , good surroundings , good people who always support you and accept you with your self-love and encourage you to love yourself more . Until I connect with you next time . I wish you all peace , health and salamat .