Lasting Impact
Welcome to "Lasting Impact," the podcast that dives deep into the stories and insights of extraordinary individuals who are leaving an indelible mark on the world. Here, we'll explore the transformative power of their actions and innovations in the realms of business, ministry, and community. Our guests are the change-makers, the visionaries, and the unsung heroes whose unwavering dedication and passion have not only made an impact but a lasting one. Prepare to be inspired, informed, and empowered as we explore the stories behind the lasting impact these remarkable individuals are creating.
Lasting Impact
From Cancer Survivor to Community Builder
Edie Tolbert's breast cancer diagnosis 17 years ago sparked a mission to create a healing sanctuary for fellow patients. Discover how her search for purpose led to Stonebrook Day Spa and The Stonebrook Project nonprofit. Edie's oncology-certified therapists understand cancer's unique challenges, transforming the spa into a safe haven where patients feel truly understood.
In this conversation, Edie shares the power of education-first cancer support, early detection, and tackling limiting beliefs. She discusses strategic pivots, trusting God's timing, and setting healthy ministry boundaries. Tune in for profound wisdom on finding purpose in pain, creating sanctuary for others, and leaving a lasting legacy of service.
No, no, never had a clue that this is what I would be doing. I had breast cancer 17 years ago and after I walked through that, because of the multitude of people that Welcome to the Lasting Impact Podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm your host, mark Marroquin. Join me as I sit down with remarkable individuals making a meaningful difference in business and ministry. We'll explore their stories, challenges and successes, all with the goal of encouraging you to go out and make a lasting impact. If you love what you hear, don't forget to rate, review and share. Welcome to Lasting Impact, edie Tolbert. Hey, hey, welcome to the podcast. Thank you, honored to have you. Glad to be here. For those listening that don't know you, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 1:So married to my high school sweetheart, mr Ron, just celebrated 45 years. Wow. I have two daughters, tiffany and Brittany, one son-in-law, chris, and three grandkids which are the love of my life Ella, theo and Penelope. I am a business owner Stonebrook Day Spa. I also run a nonprofit called the Stonebrook Project. I'm an educator. I like to go out and teach people about breast health, and I think that's about it in a nutshell.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The short reader's digest version.
Speaker 2:Well, we could do this podcast on marriage and family.
Speaker 1:You could teach us a lot. You could teach us a lot.
Speaker 2:Marry to your high school sweetheart. That's big time, I don't think that too many of those go 45 years. I have a feeling that they don't as well.
Speaker 1:45 years? Um, I have a feeling that they don't. Yeah, yeah, I've got actually several of us in the same graduating class as well as in ronnie's class. We're all celebrating 43 to 45 years, so it's pretty cool to see all that happening yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:yeah, well, you're a very impactful person. Just listening to you, um, introduce yourself here, so let. So let's go into some questions here. Okay, you've been in business for 14 years 14 years and you started running your nonprofit seven years ago. What led you to start your business and the nonprofit? Obviously, one came first and out of it came the next, or was it always this, like this is how it's going to happen, or?
Speaker 1:leaders. So one thing led to another and we decided the three of us, my nail tech, my massage therapist and myself we decided to open a day spa. So did that, and about a year that God impressed upon me that he wanted me to start serving women who were walking through breast cancer Not just the ones that were active in breast cancer, but the ones that had actually are on the survivor side of it. So we started offering one free spa service to anybody that had breast cancer, and that went on for about six years cancer, and that went on for about six years. We also included men about I don't know it was right.
Speaker 1:In between that six years, I discovered that it wasn't just breast cancer, it was any kind of cancer. So we started serving men and women who were in active treatment and then, six years in, as a small business, 10 employees or less all of that came directly out of my budget. It was complimentary, we didn't charge them for those services and I realized that in order to be sustainable, I was going to have to do something. And talk to three of my friends and they were shocked that I didn't have a nonprofit that funded those complimentary services. So we birthed the nonprofit. So that's how we raise the money to pay for the services for the cancer clients that come in and receive services.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. Yeah, I want to go back to before you started the business. I mean it sounded like that place was closing down. Yes, there was a bit of a trigger to that kind of start of the conversation, right, what were you up to before you started this business?
Speaker 1:so I had just become an empty nester and I was trying to decide, or trying to find my purpose. Yeah, in life. Um, I went back to work part-time at a um, uh, performing arts center, because that my kids were always involved in theater. So I went, I called the manager up and I said, hey, can you use somebody? She's like actually I can. So I helped with season tickets. Um, love that, because you know, you get the people coming in. I like to be around people. I always liked being involved in the theater community and so was doing that.
Speaker 1:And then I was diagnosed with cancer and I I thought, okay, is this, is this something? Is this something for me? Is God good? Know, god doesn't waste anything? And so I knew that he would take that and turn it into something good. And so one thing just led to another. But I was just trying to find my way as an empty nester. Both my girls were in college. I didn't know what I wanted. I'd been a stay-at-home mom for 18 years. What was Edie Talbert going to do? There was something more for her to do, and what was it going to be? Absolutely. And so that's how it came up. Well, while we're on, that topic.
Speaker 2:What advice would you give to the person who's just became an empty nester and is going through those same type of questions like what my next step is?
Speaker 3:You're a believer at this time. Yes, yes, yes, yes, you're a Christian, yes, and you're seeking the Lord.
Speaker 2:So obviously that plays into it too, but just a piece of advice of that person who hits that.
Speaker 1:I think the first thing that I would recommend that somebody do and I know this is going to sound crazy for a lot of people is to do a vision board.
Speaker 3:Oh cool.
Speaker 1:I've done probably five or six vision boards. I do them at least once a year now and it's a process where it takes what's kind of in your subconscious, what God is trying to show you but you're kind of like trying to do it your own way and he takes those things and he puts them on a board and it gives you a visual. I'm very visual, so that's why I like to do vision boards.
Speaker 1:But, I have seen things that I have put on that board come to fruition and you got to have help with that direction. Sometimes it's really difficult to try to figure it out by yourself. So when you have somebody come in and do some kind of vision casting dreaming those are the things that I wish that I would have done back in the day, back before I even started my business, to have a better vision, a better picture of what I was going to be doing, going forward, Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So when you said, okay, let's go ahead and start this business and I think you might have just said it, though, like you said, you started it and then, at some point, the lord was pressing on to you to start serving um either you're going through breast cancer or survivors, was that okay?
Speaker 1:about a year in, he gave me. He gave me the vision of I want you to use this as a sanctuary for other people going through cancer, and I was like, wow, that's genius. Yeah, good idea.
Speaker 2:Which was always his vision, but he wouldn't have been able to reveal that to you too, with that first vision board, probably. Correct, correct he just needed you to like get in this space, right, just get in this space. Right, and then let me start working from there Exactly and start chipping away at what I really need Right, which you know. That's good for me, and I think people need to realize the importance of that first step.
Speaker 3:It's all steps, Mark yeah.
Speaker 1:It's all steps. I even heard a podcast this week because I've been asking the question for probably two years why did you make me do the spa before the nonprofit? And I heard a podcast this week and it's called sifting. Um, it's it you. He has to sift away at all the noise and all the other stuff before he can actually get you to what he really wants you to do.
Speaker 1:And it's a process of learning how to trust and have faith in him and take the steps with him, cause I'm I'm one of these people that you give me the baton for the track meeting and I'm off and running right and he's like, oh dear, there she goes again, come on back when you're ready. And so just being patient and wait. And so that's what he's taught me over the last six or seven years is how to be patient and take one step at a time. And you know how we always want to go forward. We want to know what's going to happen next. Can't do that, can't do that. You got to focus on it, the step that he's giving you right now, so that it can be successful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think well, if I look at my life, god just knows that I'm not ready to receive what he wants for me or that what he needs from me. A lot of times and I mean God's used health and nutrition to get to me. About family stuff yeah, you know about wounds. Yes, about past pains yes, that was not going to go directly to me like, yeah, I really want to talk to you about your childhood. Yeah you know it's like you really needed my attention.
Speaker 3:Yes, and absolutely.
Speaker 2:You know, someone like me, like food, can be such a. You know, it's just like I'm a, I'm a comfort type of person and I and I have a lot of luxury and and I could be where just self-serving constantly. And so God will trick me and say like, oh, we should get in shape and you should start eating healthy and maybe start fasting and seeking me. And then, oh really, that was just about getting to this part of it.
Speaker 2:Um, so, when you, what's the process of finding people to help in this line of work? Well, actually, I want to back up a little bit, okay, and help us understand what your business does exactly and then do your people you're serving. Is that just the same thing? But it's a donation through the non-profit, or is there like two different services?
Speaker 1:so I have a true day spa where we do manis, pedis, facials, massages, body treatments, and 75% of what we do is for profit. So we have paying clients that come in and pay for those services five days a week. 25% of what we do is the actual oncology massage for cancer patients. So all of my massage therapists are oncology certified, which means they've gone through a specialized treatment to know chemo, radiation, effects of chemo and radiation and surgery and port placement. They know all the questions to ask the patient when they come in to receive their, their massage. So that's very important.
Speaker 1:And then the nonprofit is we're doing fundraising events, we're writing grants where we have people that are our monthly donors. Those are the people that support the services that we do. But we're not just doing those at the day spa. We also have a partnership with Oklahoma cancer specialists here in Tulsa where we're in the chemo infusion room doing hand and foot massages while they're getting their chemo. We're at Northeastern Oklahoma in Claremore where they go to get their radiation. I mean they're going 28 days in a row to do a three-minute radiation so they get a little chair massage to help relax before they go in and get their radiation. So where were we going with that question?
Speaker 1:Well, I just wanted to understand.
Speaker 3:Yes, Like I don't go to day spas, yeah, so.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking, I want to, just kind of I'm trying to get a visual of like your everyday client. Yes, that comes in and wants to get the mani and pedi Right or the massage Right, and then right behind them comes in the cancer survivor or someone who's going through radiation or something right now they're cancer survivor or someone who's going through radiation or something. Right now they're coming in. What's their experience?
Speaker 1:Their experience with us is that they see other people who look like them and they know that they're in a safe space. They're not going to be going into a regular day spa where there might not be anybody else that has cancer. So if they're sitting at the pedicure station getting a pedicure and there might be another cancer patient across the space getting the same thing, but they know that they're in a safe space because and they know that my people are trained to take care of them and that makes a big difference. When you're walking through cancer you don't want to just walk and I've had some day spas refuse to do massage therapy for cancer patients because they say it's a contraindication. It's not, they just don't want the liability.
Speaker 1:But if you're trained you're going to know how to take care of that person. You're going to know if you know they just had chemo. Usually we do the services before chemo because we, they're, they're going to be sick after that, right, they're not going to feel like getting that massage. So we know all the things to tell the client. Come in before your chemo, come in before your surgery, come in before your scans. I mean, those are the things that we talk about and they see other people that look like them, and so they feel more comfortable and in a safe space.
Speaker 2:So your therapists who are licensed for this they're getting specific license to treat someone that is going through treatment. Yes, Because they have to know. Well, I don't want to repeat myself, but they have to know because, like their skin, may feel a certain way, they might have a rash.
Speaker 1:They might if they have a port. You want to make sure that you stay away from the port. They're going to be uncomfortable laying face down on the table because of their port, so we put some padding under there. If they just recently had radiation, they're going to have some scar tissue, so they're not going to be able to maybe have full range of motion. Those are the things that we need to know in order to serve them well.
Speaker 2:See, I think as you and I hope.
Speaker 3:I'm not asking.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry if I'm asking dumb questions.
Speaker 2:I just like I'm a visual person too, and I have to put myself there of okay, so this is unique and this is special. This is for them, Do you find? On the nonprofit side?
Speaker 2:find on the nonprofit side. Is it a challenge for someone to visualize what you're going like? Like, because I, I would think it's a challenge. I would think that because I I'm just like anybody who go to a banquet, go to a gala or something and the most recent one I went to was water in Africa and students that they're helping and easily could see that they need to raise uniform, they need to raise money for uniforms there, they need to pay for the staff out there and to continue the treatment of water and fruits and vegetables.
Speaker 2:You know like I kind of had an idea before I even went right. So with this it's a. You know I have this spa and so do you find it.
Speaker 2:Tell me what the challenges are when you're, because now we're talking, I'm gonna let you talk, but I'm going back to what you had said you start this business and you're giving freebies, so to speak, to those who come out like, hey, we're on the house, on the house, we're going to take care of you. God's given you the mind of Christ and the business sense and feather friends around you to show you like, okay, there's a way to run your business, but there's also a way that you can get a nonprofit and start getting financing, getting funding so you can stay in business and do this Yep. So what are your tactics and strategies that help you raise funds and what are the challenges?
Speaker 1:So it's interesting that you ask that question, because we've just done a pivot.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:We've been doing this for seven years and at our last main fundraising event we had all the right people in the room. We grew the event, we moved it to Tulsa. It was prime for some pretty significant fundraising.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But there were still people that walked out of the room that really didn't know what we did. And there's always the question that I've beat my head against the wall for the last seven years is you want me to pay for a spa service for a cancer patient? And so that's the challenge. So I really began to ask God, dude, what are we doing? You know, you've told me who to go ask money for from, you've told me how to do it, and it's it's not happening. I'm trusting you for a provision, but it's not happening. So what? What do I need to see in order to go forward? And he said I need you to pay attention to what your speaker said. Okay, so I had a cancer patient come and give her testimony. So I replayed that in my mind and the first thing she talked about there was three points. The first thing she talked about was getting all her questions answered. First and foremost, educate. Educate her on what she's fixing to walk through whether how do I approach radiation? How do I approach chemotherapy? What can I expect for surgery? What health care system do I want? Radiation? How do I approach chemotherapy? What can I expect for surgery? What health care system do I want to be in. And then she talked about the community, the people that surrounded her, that engulfed her and cared for her right. Then she talked about care. She mentioned her massage one time. So I went before my board and I said I think it's time to pivot. We need to. We need to fill the gap between people who are getting screenings and people who are diagnosed. There's a huge gap of education. So we need to have education first, community second and care third. And when we started that and when I started writing grants, people would fund education without even asking questions. But to fund an oncology massage. But what I truly, truly know is that what the services that we're providing, as far as massage go, are making a difference. It's helping them relax, it reducing their anxiety, their stress, their pain, their fatigue, their nausea. But to ask somebody to pay for that it's a challenge. Yeah, day in and day out it's a challenge. But educating people I mean I spent I was on the phone last night with a woman for over an hour educating her about onco, onco scores is a we won't get into that, it'll go too deep.
Speaker 1:But removing the focus now is to remove the fear about cancer, cancer's, cancer's, cancer. The more you know you can navigate it right. But cancer is scary. The word is scary. I didn't even say cancer for probably seven months. It's too scary. Yeah, it's not scary to me now because all the things that I know and so I'm just teaching other people.
Speaker 1:Okay, these are the questions. You know she's going to the radiologist today and she knows top three questions to ask and she knows what each one of those things are. But she knows how to walk into the room and ask questions about what she's getting ready to face and she's going to be able to do it. But walking into that room without knowing anything about what you're fixing to face, that's scary. Yeah, right, so that's been the flip. That's and I think that's going to really make a difference over the next five years is educating people surrounding them with the community, because you and I both know how important community is. Our church has really pounded that and, honestly, when I, when I started my community cancer group, that was because of the small groups that I had been in a church. Wow, so that was the community and then let's take care of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's take care of them Absolutely. Well, this is good, and you kind of rattled them off really quick. Here's what I was going to ask is tell me about the impact that you're seeing in the lives of people. So you know, and I know you're not, I should say no, you know, I'm in ministry just like you. You know just serving A big part of me and my ministry, partnerships and stuff.
Speaker 2:We see really good success quote unquote success because we're pretty driven and when we have something to do we need to knock it out. And I can be very and I'm I'm kind of an operations guy on the stuff that I do, so I can be really driven on making sure we have a great event. You know, is everybody taken care of? And, uh, I don't like to say that I, for those are just my, those can be my gifts and I kind of talk about the impact later. You're like on a debriefing or here and back, and you know what, who's being blessed and what kind of testimonies are rolling in. You know, being a part of like a nonprofit, you, you do have to be driven to have the like hey, we're here for a purpose, we have to get the right people in the room. We have to deliver a really good message People want to give. First of all, I should say that yes, they do or they wouldn't be there.
Speaker 2:We have to know that people want to give. Yes, they really do, yeah, and the right people want to give, and they also don't want to be foolish either. That's why they have room to give, because they're usually not foolish people. Good stewards Want to be good stewards, that's right, I don't want to talk about the gal that I just left, but it was their first one, and on the drive home, I'm thinking of all the things they could have really should have done if they wanted all of us to donate that night yeah and um, I don't think they'll be calling and asking me for my feedback, so I'll keep it to myself but if they should ever I'll have, I'll be ready.
Speaker 2:I was just like yeah, I think you should have done this and it would have been, it would have like made sense to me and I think I we could. I could see myself helping you in that area right anyway. So I know that you're very gifted and talented on on this business side of it and and running a team and let's get the right people in the right place and it's all for tell me about the impact that you're seeing with the people that you're blessing. So I I think.
Speaker 1:I think there's a twofold that I kind of want to hit on, and you asked me this question about how do you make sure that you have the right people serving, and let me just tell you you can interview people all day long, but when they actually come in and do the job is when you see their true self. And my team right now I can say for certain that every single one of them have a servant's heart. I can't say that everybody that has walked through my doors has had that and for sure. Pretty quickly they left because they just didn't. They presented themselves as a servant and that, you know, as whatever nail tech, massage therapist, you know, esthetician they wanted to serve people, but when it really came down to it, not so much. But the ones that I have now, they truly care and I think it's a part of the leadership. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back or anything like that, but they see the example, yeah, and maybe it's in their heart and they just don't know how. So they see it in the leader. It's the leadership coming down. We all hear that all the time. So it's a matter of being an example to your team so that they, in turn, will be that person to serve that client.
Speaker 1:And then, as far as the impact for the nonprofit, oh man, just to see a broken person walk in the door and through me, talking them off the ledge, so to speak, and then to see them walk back to the treatment rooms and receive their treatment and come out. Well, okay, here's an example. First, early into it I would say probably year two had a guy, big, burly guy, I mean, he stood two heads taller than me, he was six foot something, big old guy and his wife made him come and get a massage and he's like he had a brain tumor and he's like I don't know why I'm here, I've never had a massage, I don't need a massage. He walked back to the room and when he came out he looked at me and started crying. He goes. Now I know why my wife drug me here. That is the impact. That's the impact to see something that we can do to truly help somebody walking through a difficult season and get them to the other side.
Speaker 1:And you know, sometimes, yes, with cancer, there is some that don't make it. There's more that do that don't. We don't want to forget the ones that don't, and we celebrate those. We celebrate their life, what they did, why they were here, and then we celebrate the ones that made it through, and so it's one of those things where you come in and two months later you're gone. I mean, these people are with us an average of 18 months 18 months to two years.
Speaker 1:So it's a relationship. It's a relationship and we just started a legacy group because our community cancer group is for those that are actively going through it, with their caregivers or their support person, whoever that may be. But then, once they get past that, they don't really want to come back and go through all the stuff. So have a legacy group and we just gather for dinner, just dinner, and catch up because we spent so much time together right, we spent two or three years or five years together, and then all of a sudden they just stopped coming to group and we're like wait a minute, we want to know how you doing, are you traveling? You know what are you doing? How are you? How are you celebrating life, and so that's the impact yeah um, there's a lot.
Speaker 1:I mean there's just, there's so much this, there's so much in this realm that we see how it impacts and it's not just impacting the person going through the cancer, it's impacting the spouse, it's impacting the kids. It's impacting the spouse, it's impacting the kids, it's impacting the rest of the family Because if you can help that one person navigate through it, it helps the spouse, it helps the kids, it helps the family, it helps the church people. You know there's definitely. Lots of fingers, yeah.
Speaker 2:The ripple effect yeah, it affects a lot of people. Yeah, and I think so I'm what, and I think so I'm. What you know about me is the ministry side is I host a breakfast every month. And it's hard to describe that impact.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:That it makes, Because on paper it's tables and chairs. Some give their testimony and serving some food. Yep, and it's it's hard to um. I don't want to say, you know, make your case or state your case, which I've had to so much yes, over 10 years.
Speaker 3:Yes of what's you know because the church needs to know like what are we doing here and why is this here and what's the importance of it? Do we need to this?
Speaker 2:because what are we doing here and why is this here and what's the importance of it and do we need to do this? Cause it, it. It is hard to like. Well, man, you know we have Sky brought his baby to the breakfast because this was the only way he was going to church and so, like this, how much you wanted to come. Yeah, as much as our pastors are awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, don't care how awesome they are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they'll come because a buddy invited them. Yeah, so it's like sometimes it's their only avenue to hear the word.
Speaker 2:Or yeah, if it softened his speech to his wife that evening we don't know If it's one step to get him to church, because if he goes to church he's going to take the family's going to church, and so you know, not saying we're what you would do Obviously we're two different things, but I do when I think of both of ours and we're here to talk about you, I think you can get like just another thing you know like it can get really, um, just diluted because like there's a thousand men's breakfasts and there's like a thousand nonprofits for, for raising money to, for cancer.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, oh yeah, and um well, it's so uh or saturated, but that power's really in the being down in the trenches with people and in the crevices and that high impact is that relationship and it's just hard to relay. Someone has a safe place, can feel normal or pretty or just relaxed, and it affects their day and their evening. And, like you said, I don't want to repeat exactly what you're saying but that's hard to put on paper.
Speaker 3:That's hard.
Speaker 2:It's easy to show a village that has no water right and that has no like yes, no, you show no water.
Speaker 1:And now you have water.
Speaker 2:Yeah, impact, yeah, it just makes sense to like it's very detailed, like to work to the granule where you need to get into and someone to understand, and so you do need to have. When someone does get in there and see like cancer is scary, I think it's fear like it is fair like it puts fear to me and, um, and I think I've forgotten, really, as you're talking, is it's so known, it's so the everyday word that it's for I would imagine I'm thinking it's forgotten.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's forgotten too of just like oh gee it just like it's just seeing that it's so common, which is sad.
Speaker 1:Because we this is what I find because over half of the people that we serve have breast cancer. Yeah, so I find that women don't do mammograms because they associate mammograms with cancer, and so I'm teaching them that early detection is so important. Your, your chance of survivorship with early detection is 99%. So let's start there. Let's not do our mammograms so that we're stage four and our chances are not so good. So just removing that fear, because we all know that the enemy is out there to drive the fear right. And God said, said, go remove the fear yeah, I said okay, how do we do that?
Speaker 1:let's do that. And he just began to show me the way. And when you were talking about the impact, I remember distinctly two times when I always kept telling myself I'm not good at numbers, I'm not good at numbers, I'm not good at numbers, I'm not good at numbers. And again, I heard a podcast I'm a podcast groupie. This podcast where he talked about how adam and eve were in the garden and they had eaten the fruit and they were hiding and at our god said where are you? And they said well, we're over here in the bushes. And why are you hiding? Well, because we're naked. Who told you that? And that's when I knew that. I knew that.
Speaker 1:I knew the big lie was I'm not good at numbers. And I got mad because the enemy had been telling me over and over and over and over for many years you're not good at numbers, you're creative, you're a visionary, but you suck at numbers. And I bought into that lie. And that day changed when I thought I can be just as good at numbers as I am at vision. And so I started working the numbers. And the other time was I was listening to a message about David and Goliath and Goliath. It's my numbers. My giant is numbers. And God said let me worry about the provision, you take care of my sheep. Okay, I'll just go, I'll be over here taking care of the cancer patients. I'm going to know my numbers, but you take care of the provision. I'm going to leave that in. And when I trusted him with that, things really started to swing. They really started to swing. They really started to swing.
Speaker 1:So those were two really impactful yeah messages for me, um, because sometimes we're just buying into the lie. Oh yeah, and I hook line and sinker boat the whole nine yards. I was I was not good at numbers, yeah, and I'm good at numbers now. Mark, that's awesome, I'm really good at numbers, I know my numbers and I'm good at numbers now.
Speaker 2:Mark, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:I'm really good at numbers.
Speaker 1:I know my numbers and it's you know, numbers are hard, but they don't lie. It is a pathway, it is a roadmap to where, where you are and where you need to be. So know your numbers, know your numbers.
Speaker 2:I love that. It's so wonderful. I love that you're not just retrieving. I love that you're not just retrieving patients. You're not just retrieving someone who's going through this rough season, tragic season possibly, but you're in front, educating, doing work to help prevent this.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:And I think that makes that very special and unique, because you're hitting all angles of it with. I'm going to get out in front of this because I don't want women to be afraid to let's get on this Say take care of yourself. If should, if should, something should happen.
Speaker 1:We have you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and we have people on the other side to celebrate and they'll be waiting for you.
Speaker 2:And we still maintain a relationship.
Speaker 1:Because this is what God showed me just in the last year. You know, there's that statistic out there that one in eight women will be diagnosed with cancer. That's all the time. One in eight women. One in eight women. Okay, but what about the other seven? Yeah, one is a whole lot less than seven. So seven of them are going to be okay, but they're not going to be okay if they don't hit it head on and do their screenings and take care of themselves, right, yeah, so that's what he told me to do. And I was like, again, such a genius, he's so good. It's like why don't we stop and listen to him more? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to see that. You know God wants to do something in us and also through us. And he has to have us.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:No, like he has to have us, yeah, and he needs. We're his vessels, we his people. We're, we're, we're the boots on the ground. For what god?
Speaker 2:yes, needs to do to bless others. That's all he wants to do is to rescue and save and deliver, and he needs us to do it. But we're just so used to us. Like I look at myself in the mirror and I constantly think of my limitations. Yes, you know, I'm constantly thinking of the one instead of the seven. Yes, that are whole. Yes, I'm thinking about the one who is not, and it's very man. That's, that's incredible. What um? I love this piece of advice. I mean this know your numbers, that was.
Speaker 3:That was obviously impactful for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, huge and helped change you. Huge and build your confidence. Yep, what else? What has this done for your family? I mean, this has become a major part of your life. Obviously, this is not who you are. This isn't your identity. How has this been receptive over the years to your husband, ron and your, your daughters and the whole family?
Speaker 1:it's it's kind of a I like to call it a family affair, because everybody is involved one way or the other. Um, I know like even for my son-in-law, who's one of the pastors the church. He will have people come up to him and say my wife has just been diagnosed with cancer.
Speaker 1:Oh gives them my number and we start conversing. So, and even my girls, my husband, I mean, we're all in this together. We're all here to serve the people that are going to be diagnosed with cancer. To serve the people that are going to be diagnosed with cancer, and I just I think for us that I know, for, like my oldest daughter, who was a nurse at the time, it was really difficult because she knew all the science part of it. Brittany, my youngest, was a senior in high school, so that was really hard and so I think we all just came together and said we're gonna do this yeah we're gonna do this and we did it.
Speaker 1:We did it well, and so now we're just helping others do it well yeah do it well and, um, I'm very thankful that they've been so supportive of everything that I've done and they've jumped in there and they set up tables and, oh, you know, there and they set up tables, oh, you know, mr Ron set up Tear Down. Yeah, I love that guy, he's so good. So, you know, he jumps in and helps, and the girls too, I mean the girls have done different parts along the way and so, yeah, what has you give a lot of yourself away.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, to your business, to your nonprofit to getting a random text because, like you said, Chris has given out your number. Yeah, have you. How are you with setting boundaries? Have you had to learn to set boundaries? Do you care about boundaries? Um, what, what is?
Speaker 1:walk us through that, because so because I know it's, I mean gosh anybody who's loving on people in ministry.
Speaker 2:You know, uh, I think of lee or pastor lee, who's like does the way. I mean he just like man, he's like the sin. That guy, if there's something tragic or if there's something, you know he's just, but he can't be in someone's house every night of the night. He has a family, he has a wife in someone's house every night, right, he has a family, he has a wife, he has sons that he's raising.
Speaker 2:He has his own non-profit, he has the job at the church and but, man, if you, um, if he could give all his time away, if he could, because he loves people that much. And so have you had to deal with that? Like man, I gotta get to bed or walk us through that.
Speaker 1:So in the beginning I didn't have boundaries. Um, it would become very overwhelming when we would lose two or three or four clients at a time. Um, you know, when you attend memorial services, back to back to back, that's um. So I had to start setting some boundaries.
Speaker 1:I I um I have a therapist, so when it does really get heavy, um, I go and see her yeah I go and see her and I talk about it and I ask her her professional opinion on how to navigate through it. Because I mean, just two years ago one of the um, one of the guys that served on my board, he had colon cancer, beat colon cancer, came back in his liver, beat liver cancer, but then the chemo that they had him on he had sudden cardiac death and he passed away. I mean, his heart just stopped and he passed away. That was really really hard.
Speaker 1:So, going to her cause, I have to take care of my mental health, just like I tell my cancer patients mental health is a part of it. So, seeking my therapist, scheduling family time, scheduling time away, I mean literally away. Going on trips Um, I tried to um, if we are not having a family vacation or if Ron and I are not taking a vacation, we do a road trip. It's good, like an all-day road trip where we just get in the car. And the last one that we went on, we had no idea where we were going. We just got in the car, started driving, oh wow, and that helps me just reset.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, you have to learn, no matter what you know.
Speaker 1:Maybe what you're dealing with is not as heavy as what I'm walking through, but you have to learn to set boundaries and protect yourself and protect your time. I mean, I get people referred to me all the time and I have to say you get their name and number and give it to me and let them know I'll get to them. I don't want to be that person that, if I'm in the middle of the dinner with family, I know that it's crucial that this person hears from me, but I also want to set priorities and not push my family aside every time. Somebody sends me somebody and God has taught me all of that because I've ended up in the er, I've had migraine headaches that last over 30 days and he's like friend. I need you to set a boundary. I need you to take care of you because here's the reality if I don't take care of me, there's not going to be an Edie Talbert out there to help impact the cancer community, right that's right, but going back to just like God needs us.
Speaker 2:Yes, his design wouldn't be to let what he needs us for to drive us into the ground and finish our race too soon.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:He wants us to finish our way strong and take others with us and help build them up?
Speaker 2:What advice would you give to someone you know let's zip back seven years ago or 14 years ago someone that's starting to feel like I feel I have something heavy on my heart. I feel like you're really far in your journey and successful, and you're only going to get more successful because, like you just said, you took really far in your journey and successful. And and you're only gonna get more successful because, like you just said, you took a pivot because you're always constantly how to get better. So you may not feel this way, but the reality is you're probably on chapter 25 of someone's like Ford, or barely chapter one. What advice would you give to that? Someone at chapter one is like I. It might be something different, but like I want to be like Edie. I want to. I want to be like that. I feel, I feel that call Two things.
Speaker 1:Pray about it, start with prayer. I didn't start with prayer, um, and I didn't have a business plan. I just knew that I I saw the vision and I took the baton and I started running, um, and I had to circle back. I mean, it's like God was like take another lap, take another lap. Okay, here we are again. Okay, one more, one more. Oh, she almost got it, let's try one more.
Speaker 1:So, um, dive into the scriptures, get in the word, pray and get yourself a good business plan, and don't jump out ahead of God. Don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it because you'll have to take another lap and then you have to fix it and then you have to go before the throne and say I'm sorry, now what do I need to do? It's a good learning process. I learned a lot and you will learn along the way, because he's only going to give you one step at a time, because he needs you to complete that step before he gives you the next one. And so, pray, get in the word, find that story. Nehemiah is my go-to guy.
Speaker 1:I read Nehemiah over and over and over and over and over on how he built that wall and he had this specific people at the specific place to do that part of the wall Huge. You know, read Nehemiah. I highly recommend Nehemiah and Joshua Joshua is another one of mine that love it, love it. And then get yourself a good business plan. Don't start anything without some kind of strategic plan. Yeah, very important.
Speaker 2:That's so good.
Speaker 1:So important.
Speaker 2:Well, that's gold right there, and you know, that's all recipes for trust. All that is going to be recipes for trust, and I think when we like to get in front of God, whether we wrote it or not, it's like a lack of trust of like I'm ready for step seven and we're really not, and we want it so bad that, or, or you know, just like this makes sense, or comparison pops in oh yes, Talk about the nonprofit comparison.
Speaker 1:It's the worst.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the worst. Well, why is she getting a $10,000 check and I'm only getting $300? Oh, that time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I would imagine that's an area where you need to trust God. Yes Of like God. Yes Of like seeing.
Speaker 3:Yes, of like we're all going to face it.
Speaker 2:If I thought, this person would be this to me and it's not. Or this organization would be this to me and it didn't happen Yep, and we all in somehow, some way, yes, have to face that In business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, like I thought that person was my person and it's just, yeah, it's hard, it's all the time, and god's the provider yeah and god knows where he needs us and um, well, I want to start winding down.
Speaker 2:Okay, I want to talk some parenting stuff. Okay, you're, you have a wonderful family thank you have daughters that love god and serve God and are doing well, and you stayed together with your husband for all these years. What advice would you give to those raising, I mean kids?
Speaker 1:Well, if you're, I would say this if Brittany and Chris were listening right now and the stages their children are in.
Speaker 2:What's some top advice you would give Chris and Brittany?
Speaker 1:I think that it's so important to don't be afraid to show your love, don't be afraid to show your weak points, let them see you cry when it hurts, and don't be afraid to correct, because God corrects us, he loves us, he shows us his emotion, and that's who we should be formulating our parenting from right. So I think that's what I would say. I mean, I can sit right here and I could probably name off all the things that I didn't do. Well, as a parent, I did the best I could with what I knew at that time. Now, could I do it differently now? Well, sure, I'm more mature, I'm older, there's a lot of things that I would do different, but I would still love them. I would still be with them, be with their friends.
Speaker 1:One thing that a youth pastor said to me back in the day and I did it and it was gold Make your home a place where your friend's kids or your kid's friends want to be at your house. And we did that and we had kids all the time at our house. And still to this day, when we see those kids out and about running around, I mean that relationship is still there. It's still there.
Speaker 2:That's really good, and the reason why I rattled your, your Chris and Brittany, is just because like well, let's just pick an age you know over like not like teenage stage just like well, they have little itty bitty.
Speaker 3:Yes, so that can relate to anybody, yeah.
Speaker 2:What advice would you give to the grandparent? And I know you're young in your grandparents phase, or the, I would say, the phase where you're now an in-law and you're now a grandparent. You're not number one anymore, there's another number one, but obviously you're still part of it because they're your kids, right. But you know, gosh, that's the step I dread. It's just like shoot. You know, now I'm going to be like backseat one day.
Speaker 3:That's extreme.
Speaker 2:But there's a different face you know there is. My wife has me more than my mom does right now and has for a long time. And so what advice would you give to that stage in life where, like now, you're an in-law, you know, now you have, you know, son-in-laws and daughter-in-laws?
Speaker 1:and you have grandbabies, those relationships change, yep. Daughters-in-laws and you have grandbabies yeah, those relationships change, yep. So I think the funnest part about being a grandparent is that, um, I don't, I don't this is gonna sound really strange that you can love those kids so unconditionally. That do I have to correct them every once in a while, yeah, but it's not the same as having to correct your own kids, right? And this is what I told Brittany when she asked me if I would be able to watch Ella on, you know, one day a week. And I said I will do that under one condition it's Gigi's house and whatever goes on in Gigi's house goes on in Gigi's house. It is not. She's only going to eat broccoli and carrots, right? We're going to have a cookie and we're going to enjoy that cookie and that needs to be okay. I want her to, no matter what time of day, what time of week, she's coming to my house. It's Gigi's house and I'm going to have so much fun and Brittany was totally fine with that.
Speaker 1:So, again, setting those expectations first, yeah, what do you expect me as a, as the grandmother, and what I expect of you as the mother to my grandkids? And having that commonality so that there's nothing misunderstood. Nobody, you know, gets upset because of what happens or what goes on. It it's all understood before it even happens. So setting those boundaries was a big deal for me and I learned that from one of my friends. She said make sure that you let them know it's not a daycare, this is Gigi's house. And I said that's brilliant, I'm using that and so that has made the difference. That has made the difference as far as my grandkids go.
Speaker 2:Great communication, great way to set expectations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and everybody wins that way, everybody wins. Everybody wins.
Speaker 2:I think this is God. Dropping this into me lately is like well, my kids are young. I mean, I have a young man that's about to be 16.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And a little guy that's just turned 12.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So high school or junior high yeah. And High school, or junior high, yeah, and I can already feel that one day you know they're going to have kiddos and I think it's going to be pretty easy for me to see past my grandkids' mistakes.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, I think it's going to be pretty easy.
Speaker 2:Yes, because I think I'm just going to be like like I'm going to see my kids be uptight about the dropped cereal. And they flipped over and they left the door open and I'm just going to be this Mr Know-it-all grandpa, like, oh, that's okay, don't worry about it, and I know God's dropping that into me right now just so.
Speaker 2:I can like loosen up around my house currently, because I struggle with that and I think he's kind of showing me like one day, you know, they're going to have little dudes running around and you're just going to be just easy.
Speaker 1:You're going to see to like. See beyond, someday, imperfections and see beyond their little mistakes, and so loosen up on these guys right now. Someday you need to ask tiffany and britney about nail polish and what was the could use nail polish and nail polish remover? And now Ella and I are at the kitchen table doing her nails and then spilling something on the carpet Folding towels. That was the other one. There was always a perfect way to fold towels. And now the kids, the grandkids, are in there helping me fold, and I don't care how they fold them, just because they're in there with me doing the thing Right. That's the difference. That's the difference.
Speaker 2:It is, it's hard, it is. I just like learning, teaching them to play catch. I just didn't do it good and I'm like let's do it right, so I can want to do it, and that would be terrible.
Speaker 1:Oh, just wait, yeah, just wait. When you have those little grandsons, you're just going to be so happy to be out in the yard tossing balls back and forth. It's going to be amazing. Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 2:Well, I love that feel God's starting to put that in me, because I know he needs me to improve in some of these areas.
Speaker 1:Same, same. You'll get there With a great community, with a great community. That's the importance of community and mentorship.
Speaker 2:Yes, 100%, just being all in on community and mentorship. Well, last question to you yes, the podcast is Lasting Impact. What does Lasting Impact mean to you?
Speaker 1:This is just God all the way around. Because of this pivot that we've done this last year the question arose with my board of directors do we want to continue doing the things that we're doing and then, when Edie Talbert decides she's going to retire, we dissolve the nonprofit we're done? Or do we really work this nonprofit to do what God dropped in my heart to do make it a legacy so that when Edie Talbert decides to retire it keeps going? And the board voted unanimous for a legacy. So over the next five to seven years we are working hard to leave that legacy and make that last. That'll be the lasting impact that I feel like god will allow me to leave. That'll just keep serving people. Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:And that's just. That's so crazy, because you asked me to be on this podcast and that just happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so good. Man, we'll have to do another one just to unpack all of that answers.
Speaker 1:That was awesome. Yes, that was really good. Yeah, well, thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I love spending time with you and your husband, Ron. This is Edie Tolbert, and she is making a lasting impact. Thank you. If you liked today's conversation and want to hear more, hit that subscribe button. Don't forget to leave a review and share your thoughts. Your feedback keeps the impact going.