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Lasting Impact
Welcome to "Lasting Impact," the podcast that dives deep into the stories and insights of extraordinary individuals who are leaving an indelible mark on the world. Here, we'll explore the transformative power of their actions and innovations in the realms of business, ministry, and community. Our guests are the change-makers, the visionaries, and the unsung heroes whose unwavering dedication and passion have not only made an impact but a lasting one. Prepare to be inspired, informed, and empowered as we explore the stories behind the lasting impact these remarkable individuals are creating.
Lasting Impact
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Finding Your Game
Join Mark Delaney and Ty Andler for a transformative discussion on finding purpose without fixing yourself first. Discover how modern men often struggle without the structured teams they had in youth sports, and learn how connecting with others on a mission can lead to breakthroughs.
Both Mark and Ty share their personal journeys with vulnerability, revealing how finding teammates who embrace your gifts, flaws and all, can change everything. They challenge the idea that men must resolve their issues before contributing meaningfully, proposing instead that serving others and joining a team can help you find your rightful place in the game.
And things happen. Not because any of us are very smart. We're not. It's not because we're talented. It's because we just decided let's do something together and things just happen.
Speaker 3:Welcome to the Lasting Impact Podcast. I'm your host, mark Marquand. Join me as I sit down with remarkable individuals making a meaningful difference in business and ministry. We'll explore their stories, challenges and successes, all with the goal of encouraging you to go out and make a lasting impact. If you love what you hear, don't forget to rate, review and share. Welcome to Lasting Impact, mark Delaney, ty Andler. Welcome to the podcast dudes. Thanks for having us.
Speaker 4:Glad to be here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, for those listening and that may not know, you, Mark, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 1:I like disc golf, I like pickleball. I've got a wife that I love and she loves me, and three kids and four grandkids, and that's about it, oh my gosh, that's not about it, but I like that.
Speaker 3:That's nice. Ty, how about you Tell us a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 4:Wife 24 years got five kids ranging from nine years old to 18 years old and just excited to be here.
Speaker 3:Man excited to have you. Well, let's kick into it, man. The reason why we're here today is, mark, you authored a book. Is this your second book?
Speaker 1:It is or third book I know, Second book, second official book.
Speaker 3:Obviously, you've written a lot of content over the years, so second official book, this book is In the Game, a playbook for overcoming setbacks, rebuilding confidence and living with purpose. In this book, man, there's 30 plus stories of real men discovering purpose. So let's just kick off with you. What made you write this book or what inspired this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't like to write to balance with you. I don't call myself an author, I'm not trying to be one. I just when there's information that has changed my life, I hate to just keep it to myself. And there's this major thought that this book talks about that is so meaningful to me and to so many men and this is why I asked 36 of my friends to be part of this with us is because it's something we've all realized about life.
Speaker 1:And that is this main, this main thought that many men, if we're not in the game, if we're not chasing a mission, and life kind of puts us on the sidelines. We really struggle and oftentimes when men struggle, we struggle with behavior. And then everyone thinks that the problem is the man's behavior, when actually the problem is his location. As long as a man is on the sidelines, he's going to misbehave. There's nothing better to do. So what the man needs is not to change his behavior, but to change the reality of his location. He needs to find his mission, he needs to be in a game so he begins to live differently. Wow, the premise is if a man is on mission, he'll begin to behave, but a man on the sidelines will never behave because he has no mission. Yeah, and the trap is that a man gets stuck trying to fix his behavior. Yeah.
Speaker 1:When he doesn't realize the real problem is he's lost his game.
Speaker 3:So describe when you say well, let's just talk about it. What do you mean by on the sidelines? What do you mean by in the game?
Speaker 1:Well, imagine you played basketball when you were younger. I just played in the park. I wasn't good enough to play on a team like you were ties good.
Speaker 1:You know when you, when you play in the game, the way you think about life. So when you're a kid and you're playing a game, you're there's a fire in your belly. There's a reason for a fire in your belly. You've's a reason for a fire in your belly. You've got something that has engrossed your thinking. Your heart is like. You're like a lion that's roaring. You're doing something. Well, if you don't have that thing to do that makes your heart roar and you just kind of have nothing to do but exist, well then you need some kind of artificial way of firing up your heart. Again, A young man talked to me.
Speaker 1:It was at a gas station. I knew him a little bit. He had played basketball in high school. He wasn't very good, he was just on the team and he talked about the struggles of one of his classmates that eventually lost his life to drugs. His classmate was a great athlete and the problem with so many great athletes and the reason they turn to drugs is because when they're done playing their game, they have no game, Like this kid told me in the gas station. He said you know, when I played basketball in high school, I felt alive. It gave me a rush. He said that when that ended, nothing gave me that feeling. And he said but Adderall did. Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:He struggled with that for a while. Wow this, this, this in the game. It's really a way of looking at life and figuring out how to plug yourself into life in a way that you feel like you're living for something bigger than yourself, with a team. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But when you're a boy, you know the whole system is set up for someone to find their team. Like you, just sign up. Your kid likes baseball. You sign them up. Here's your team, here's your league, here's your tournament, here's your uniform. And all throughout high school it's the same thing. School systems build entire buildings so that the kid can play his game. Tournaments are set up, schedules are are set. You can go to college and play ball. You can do travel, travel, tournaments. But then you become, you're a grown-up and the game ends and no one's helping you find your game yeah nobody helps you find your teammates.
Speaker 1:It's almost like you're put out to pasture right yeah, and and when you're put out to pasture, it's like when you're bored. Life feels meaningless. Of course, you end up turning to things like alcohol or drugs yeah because it's a cheap way to get an artificial kind of excitement into your life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um so yeah. So, either one of you can answer this how did the 30 men come about? Or I could ask Ty, how did you get involved in this, in becoming part of this book?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean that was being invited by Mark. He reached out to me and I mean, for one, you've been around, mark enough. I admire him a lot and so I felt honored just to be even asked to share my story, because I think sometimes we discredit ourselves Our story is just our story. We don't realize it's something that can impact other guys. For me, anyways, I just think, man, my story is just my story, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 1:So when he reached out to me was like man, I'm honored and hopefully it reaches somebody. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, the other minute was just a matter of I just looked around at my life and I'm like me and all these people I know we're all living the same story. Our stories really aren't very different yeah and so you know ty is one of the guys that he's been a part of this.
Speaker 3:We're called the denny's dudes okay, I think that's where I wanted to go. Yeah, do you have a group of guys? So just to back up a second, your um, let's talk about your vocation a little bit. Mark, just to set set you up here, you're currently like a coach or facilitator, you know. Yes, you do some. So you usually have groups of men that you're coaching or facilitating or leading through and it's all you know either your mastermind, your purposeful your, your mastermind groups, or your marriage and family, and so you're usually the center of gathering and and leading. So was this one of those groups or was this like a collection of guys that you've met through rubbing, rubbing elbows together?
Speaker 1:yes, it's a collection. A lot of the men have been through the purpose mastermind. Yeah, that's when. That's where a lot of the guys came from. Others are guys that man. I heard their story and I'm like people need to hear your story. Yeah, so good, and so it just came from. You know, I this this book. It's so much of my story as well, being a guy, that I struggled with team.
Speaker 1:As a man, I never felt like I belonged on a team. Honestly, I felt, even as a man until even as a latest age 46, I felt like a constant third wheel. I never felt like I was one of the men in the room, even teaching at a school. You know, I'm a teacher and and even being, I can remember just being in the hallway and like being in a conversation with two other men. I just assumed that they were kind of just talking to each other and allowing me to stand close to them.
Speaker 1:I was so insecure as a man I was, so I didn't felt like I feel like I belonged. I never played on a team growing up. I played in the park all the time. I was never on an official team where I was like I'm the right guard or I'm the tight end. I was just like a guy that always loved people, but I never really thought people liked me and I never realized how much that the reason that was in play was because of how I thought about myself. It's how I thought about me that determined what I assumed you thought about me.
Speaker 1:I thought you didn't like me, because I thought you didn't like me. I didn't give you a chance. And so I didn't know how to be part of a team, and now that I've become open as a man and just be open hearted with people, I get to just be around people that just like me and I like them. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And out of liking each other and believing in each other, we meet it. Like you know, for a number of years now, Ty and I had a few other guys meet at Denny's let's go and we're just dudes, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know there's not some big agenda. We're not doing a book study. Just guys being dudes, man, we just like each other, believe in each other, we point each other towards purpose and we tell stories and I love that, and so some of the denny's dudes are are in this book yeah and so that's kind of how it came about yeah, I absolutely love that.
Speaker 3:Man is man. Is there a running theme in these stories? I've purchased the book. I've not had a chance to fly through it, and the dream would have been to have it all read and then interview you, but I was anxious to get you on the show. I'm really excited about it, though, just because your intro. It's so funny. When you know you and I see your writing, I'm like oh, this is so mark yeah you know how you're, how you're intro writing and stuff yeah um, but is there?
Speaker 3:um, to cut to the chase a little bit on some of this and I want people to purchase it. Um, what's, is there some running themes through these and on these men sharing, and I'm sure it's gosh. I don't want to answer for you. What? What are the running themes?
Speaker 1:I think there's really one running theme and I don't recall your exact story in the book and see how much your story fits into this, but I would say the recurring theme, yeah, is men realizing. Life's not about me, um, it, it, um. It chokes me up every time I think about this. There are so many good men that wake up every day and beat themselves up, yeah, over what they're not, and because of that, they never give what they've got. They think they have to. That's great. Be better at something they have to get rid of. A problem first in the revelation that so many men in this book talk about is, as long as I wake up to think I need to improve myself, I'm thinking about me, I'm not thinking about you. It may sound noble or moral for me to think, man, I got to fix this habit. The realization that so many of these men talk about is realizing. Maybe I should love people more instead of trying to fix myself every day.
Speaker 1:The number of men talk about overcoming drinking Kyle Dishman in this book talks about. He used to be an alcoholic and he said you know, honestly, I didn't try to stop drinking. He said one thing I did is I went and got a couple of tools so that I knew I could help anybody with a flat tire with the different tools I had. And he said wherever I went, I kept my eyes open for anyone on the side of the road with a flat tire. I'd help them. Wow, he said I started. I started volunteering anywhere I could, in my church, wherever I could go and just help people. He said I didn't try to stop drinking.
Speaker 1:There's a couple of guys that talk about that same storyline. The story is men realizing I can stop trying to fix myself when what I could be doing is serving people. I can stop focusing on me and my problem, which is ultimately selfish, and instead the world is beckoning every man to get into the game and go make a difference. We're all messed up, we're all flawed, yeah, and so I don't know how much I don't recall your story, exactly how much yours feeds into that theme yeah, mine was driven so much on just inadequacies of um, I mean, what kept me out was sizing myself up.
Speaker 4:But guys in the room, you know, the second I walk into a room I'm already sizing up. Man, am I as good as this person? Am I as cool as this person? And so then my demeanor and my actions would mirror that. So if I felt inadequate, I'd be reserved. I would be just a shell of who I really was. But then if I felt confident, like man, I'm right in there with these people, then I felt like I could truly be me. And so there was kind of this I would say fake version of me that would be around people where you're just trying to fit in because you cared so much about what people thought and so much of that was driven around the checkbook Like I'd go to.
Speaker 4:I'd go look at the checking account like, okay, I'm confident there's money in there. Yeah, okay, I'm not confident there's not so much money. And then I'd spend all this time trying to figure out okay, when's the next sale or commission coming in? And if I knew money was coming in, then I would feel good about myself because bills are taken care of. And that was, that was my addiction, that was kind of my. My shot of adrenaline was okay, there's money coming in. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but if there wasn't money coming in, then I would start stressing and fretting and feeling inadequate and be like oh man, I'm just, I'm a dud. Yeah.
Speaker 1:When you walk into Denny's, no one at the table's like. I wonder how Ty's checkbook looks today.
Speaker 3:It's just like Ty, you know it's like I like the in a room analogy and because, as it happens, I mean the, the, the sizing yourself up against. Picture yourself yourself walking into a room, you know, and wherever you're at in life, I mean, let's just say you're an athlete and you go to a new school, like there's a there's, you're definitely like man, who's who here? Like, who do I have to beat? You know, I like who's who's, you know who? Who's who here? Who do I have to beat? Who's spot am I taking? Where do I fall in this rank? Where do I fall in this line? I think there's kind of a coolness to that and funness to it.
Speaker 3:In sports, you want to make varsity. You want to be on the starting lineup because we're here for a reason and I want to make varsity. You want to. You know, you want to be on the starting lineup because we're here for a reason and I want to play. You know, um, I think when it's, you know what we see as men and we start morphing it into just like, uh, a small group, you want to join a small group at your church and you still, we still have that.
Speaker 3:Well, that dude's a CEO you know, and that guy is a you know, he, he's, he's an entrepreneur that is killing it in business, you know, and that guy is just straight up handsome and he has a beautiful wife, a beautiful family.
Speaker 3:It's just like picture perfect. I bet they never fight and it's it's hard to get away. Well, so when you start building, when a man or anybody really but starts building that up, I think going to your confidence thing, it's like I don't even know if I'll say anything tonight, because, like, what do I have to offer? Yeah, I would rather hear like, if we're going to talk about business, do I really need to chime in when so-and-so is in the room? I should just be hearing from him.
Speaker 3:There's probably a little bit of humility there, but there's a lot of false humility there. There's a lot of like self-doubt, maybe a self-hate of like well, you probably have more to offer than what you're giving yourself credit for. You're just assuming because this dude is awesome in business, which is true. We just don't think he can learn from us. Like, there's a lot of us who really believe like, well, why would I speak up in this meeting? Like, what are they gonna learn from me? We're not taking in consideration. Like, well, I may have a good perspective, they may have some blind spots that they never see a point of view from a guy that has the boots on the ground.
Speaker 3:That guy that's, I mean sure Ty, you've probably given great feedback to your company of like yeah, man, I've visited 15 different offices this week. Here's what we're hearing back. I'm like they're counting on you to have a voice like it. You're, you're out there hearing and seeing what's happening, but I, I, I I want to and mark, you can chime in anytime, or you or ty to come in anytime. That is a pretty, what you know, pretty standard 101. We just, even on the christian level, it's just like we're all just joined a small group and we are or a mountain men team or something, and we circled up.
Speaker 3:It's just natural to be, like who is who in this room? And when you get around mature guys it's all it's, it's fun, it's loving, but it's like that's kind of in us to be like I mean, I agree with you. Like there's times that I'm like I, I, I confidence is down and I kind of really shy away from this type of person. Like if I'm seeing someone like man I've heard of that guy, you know he's a dude's, legit, he's such and such and such, and I just rattle off on how awesome he is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the other book I wrote, one step to freedom. It deals with this, because when you become free as a person and you can just be you in the room, there's nothing like it. Yeah. And then you become a person that helps other people be free. Yeah, because ultimately, let's face it, the battle of all mankind from the very beginning is can a person be comfortable in their own skin? We're all flawed yeah there's really not much difference between any of us if we want to compare bank accounts.
Speaker 1:That's really not a very yes it's just if you look at babies, little infants, like there's not much difference. Frankly, as adults, if we take a 30 000 foot view of tulsa right now, like we're all just a dot, yeah, there's not much difference, and so, but becoming a person that's able to be comfortable in your own skin?
Speaker 1:yeah around other people. I think that recently I did something. I have a friend named Brett who's a great athlete and because of our friendship, the old me could never really be in good relationship with a skinny person. Yeah, Because, like I'm not deserving.
Speaker 3:Yeah, gosh now you're hitting it.
Speaker 1:I'm not deserving of being around someone who's in great shape. Now I realize everyone's overweight. Yeah, I know people that I was talking to a guy at the gym one time and we have a real close relationship where we're honest with each other and I said I looked at him and I said, you know, and he looks like captain america and I don't. And I said to him you know, I know, I feel like my spirit looks like your body and your spirit looks like my body. And we both laughed about it, we both got it. It's the reality. But, my friend, we have a great relationship. Even though he's this great athlete, he challenges me. Hey, I'm doing this half marathon, you should sign up and do one of the races too. So I signed up for the 10k and I signed up. I got a couple of my buddies who are also not great athletes to do the 10k with me, and so this race was just. It was the same path. We just went straight north and straight south. You finish, and so we're doing a 10k, which is what?
Speaker 3:3.2 miles or something 5k is 3.2, 10k, it was yeah, six point yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 10k is pretty serious, yeah, so we were walking it, though, okay, we jogged a little bit. We mainly did it for the conversation experience. So our goal was to beat brett who was doing a half marathon yeah, just 13.1. That was our goal. So to beat Brett who was doing a half marathon yeah, just 13.1. That was our goal. So we go down and back. He has to go down and further and back twice, yeah, and so partway through we give him a high five and then our goal is to be him. We get about 30 yards from the finish line and we hear it behind us Brett yell. I'm coming yeah.
Speaker 1:And so we all start running, and we finished at the finish line the same time the four of us. Yeah. And I was like that's a picture of what life is. We're all running the same race. Yeah, he's a great athlete, running over 13 miles. We are not great athletes walking six point whatever, but we're in the same race and what matters is we're all running our race. It doesn't matter the beauty of it, it doesn't matter the bank account or the occupation. It's like we all got to be in this thing together.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, I'm on this Wednesday morning zoom call with um, with some, with it's somewhat of a company call, like my boss started it and now, like others are joining us and so really it's 30 minutes and he sends out a Bible, a devotional right. He sends out a devotional and we all read it, and then we get on this call to discuss and I'm going to refer to we're all in the same race or it's all similar. There are some mega earners on that phone call and I'm talking mega earners and there's some guys on there that they just don't know where their next check is going to come from. Yeah, and in the discussion you wouldn't be able to tell who doesn't know where the next check is coming from and who has already just retired today and they're super young, you know, because it's still the same fear.
Speaker 3:It's still the same fear, it's still the same insecurity, it's still the same enemy whispering in them and, you know, tugging on those doubts and insecurities it's so just to point to to your point, it's, it's um, it's a comfortable call because you're like no one's talking what they just earned or anything like that. They're, they're just, we're going through the verses and we're going through the content. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And, man, honestly, some of the guys that speak up the most are the ones that you're thinking, although you know, of course everybody has problems, but you're thinking because of their earnings they have the least of the problems. Right, and you know, it's just not true. I mean, it's all relevant and there's different pressures. The guy who's thinking like I just don't know where my next check's going to come from, that's a lot of pressure. From, yeah, that's a lot of pressure. To the guy who's, like you know, running multiple companies, at the pressure of how do I keep this running? Or whatever his pressure is, but we're speaking the same language. Yeah.
Speaker 3:We are speaking the same language, like going back to the room of where I wanted someone want to speak up so much because it's like, how do I relate? And it's not that my confidence. But when you're talking, when you realize we are running in the same race, we're in the same game, like these are the same type of worries and stresses. Um. I don't know if that word is going to help you, but it's just such a epiphany, a realization of like man, everybody hurts. You know, everybody has some sort of insecurity.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I mean brett will have insecurities somewhere oh yeah, you know, do I think he struggles with him the way I do? No, absolutely not, but he could say something completely different. Yeah, you know, completely different. Yeah, you know, for all I know he's like really upset because he didn't make an ultra marathon three times in a row and that's what he's working on.
Speaker 1:Or he didn't beat me in that race.
Speaker 3:Yeah or whatever it is. So, yes, it's discovering that man. We're all in the same pain a lot of times. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And so if we keep the same analogy of small group, and when you first walk in and you're sizing up the other men, and where are they? Where do they rank in life? Um, in the beginning there's a little bit of probably oh man, that guy's been married for 24 years, must be an awesome husband and father. That dude's been divorced twice now. You know, should he really speak up about being a husband? Well, when you start going through a journey together, whether it be through a book or or climbing a mountain I mean, it doesn't take long when you're on a journey with one another and you start discovering like, oh, you have a voice because you've been divorced a couple of times. I'm not even seeing that right now.
Speaker 3:Like we're we are we are both hurting we, you know I might've. By God's grace I'm still married, or whatever it is. You soon discover there is a similar theme to a lot of us. Yeah. No matter our status or rank.
Speaker 1:Yeah, life's not a beauty pageant.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank goodness.
Speaker 3:One of the things that stuck out to me on this title is rebuilding confidence, that you know what. What do you? How do you start rebuilding confidence? What's the word you can give to a man that is like man? I'd like to start rebuilding my confidence. What would you say to that?
Speaker 1:there's such a difference when a man is on the sidelines, metaphorically yeah what it means is he's thinking about himself, he's thinking about his problems.
Speaker 1:He might wonder things like how do I look in this uniform? Are they too tight? Do I look fat in these pants? You know, when you're on the sid, you're thinking about things that make you insecure. Yeah, so when you're in the game, if you think about a sports the sports metaphor like you and I huddle, we huddled together for a few seconds to plan the next play. Okay, you got the tight end If he goes, you know, and then we go do a play. And then there's a quick cuddle and then we do the play.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't have time to be self-indulged, you're too locked into something, right? Yeah, once again, that's the whole point of the book. It's like if a man is on the sidelines, he's not. If he's not pursuing a mission that's bigger than him with people, he's probably going to be insecure because he's got nothing else to focus on but himself and his problems. When a man finds something bigger to pursue with people, he's got something to give him a whole different kind of focus. Yeah, confidence appears to be higher and it's growing. Not because you're like I'm trying to be higher and it's growing, not because you're like I'm trying to be more confident. No, what you're doing is you're focusing on a bigger mission with your people instead that's dude.
Speaker 3:I think that's so perfect. I think of, I just think of my. Well, I just love that thought of being on mission. So let's just think, you know, today we had our brotherhood breakfast. You know, great breakfast, great, I mean, I thought it was awesome we met with. There's some men from Texas that are in town that wanted to just meet, and one church has already taken off. They're about to hit their third year of a brotherhood breakfast in their church and there's another church that was there that really has interest and they would like to do this at their church and so, like in some of those conversations, I have a lot of confidence.
Speaker 3:I have a lot of confidence in talking about you know how to start it and how to maintain it and how to recruit and whatever questions I'm being asked Because of the reps, yes, but I love what you're saying in that man. If I stop, when I stop, I should say this when I stop and think of who's in the room on some of our breakfasts, the 450 men that show up when I, when my mind sometimes goes to, let's say, how to give an announcement or something, or there's a little bit of a spotlight, okay, let's just like when there's a little bit and I'm not a guy that's in the spotlight, but from time to time there's like a bit of a spotlight and I start letting my mind start thinking of who's in the room. Yeah.
Speaker 3:All confidence is gone. Yeah. It is out the door and I'm like, oh, shoot man, did I say that Right? Did I look right? What did I? This, or whatever it is, but was my?
Speaker 4:shirt untucked, like when.
Speaker 3:I'm on mission, like you know, I run through a wall, like, like I'm on mission, I am not hesitant to talk. I'm not talking like mean, but like all the like it was. It wouldn't matter who's in front of me during that event, because I have dude, I have 100% ownership of like what needs to happen and how it needs to happen, because we're here to serve all these men, and so I'm on mission. We're here to serve all these men, and so I'm on mission, I'm on point and yeah, because I'm in that serve mode and this is my call and this is my passion, like I'm not thinking about anything else but being on mission and not to be on mission because, like I'm on mission right now, it's just like it's now.
Speaker 3:It's just ingrained in me yeah, we're doing something, um, but those moments that hit from time to time, where you're like whoa, dang so-and-so's here or I don't know, but I can start getting insecure real fast. Yeah, here's the insecurity. Who?
Speaker 3:am I to be? Yeah, who am I to be giving advice to someone else, to a pastor? Who am I to be telling this other dude? Because one of the guys talked to me like dude's getting squared away, runs multiple businesses, can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he wants to pick my brain.
Speaker 3:I mean it is very easily for me like I'll just have Johnny call you. He's probably the better person to talk to. Yeah, and the guy called talk to me. Yeah, and I'm just already being like you know what. I just you know it could.
Speaker 3:I can easily struggle with that. But when I'm in the game, bro, when I'm in the game, when I'm playing my role, like would never cross my mind, those things aren't even in. They're not even my best. Yeah, I'm at my best. I'm at my best. I'm in my lane, I'm running hard, I'm on mission.
Speaker 1:Nothing's gonna stop me ever this is why being in the game involves, first of all, it's a way of looking at life. Nobody has to be like a business owner, nobody has to be like in the nfl everyone can be in the game. Yeah, it's a way of looking at life, but we have to have teammates to do that, because when you have teammates because all of us, all of us are going to struggle with confidence. Our level of strength and confidence comes more from the people around you that you know, believe in you, you're honest with them and they know your weakness, yeah, but they believe you. They believe in your gift more than they believe in your weakness, yes, and when you're around people that fully know you, you're not, you're not pretending with them, you're not like oh, I want to see if ty thinks I'm a strong man.
Speaker 1:It's like no, yeah you just, you just admit to your brothers, man, I don't know. You just admit who you are. And when they believe you, right through your mess, you're like, well, let's go. So when you have people, that, when you allow people to get close enough to you and they know just your human realities, like I struggle with this, this and this, but they still really believe in you. Yeah. It's like then we can go do something. Yes.
Speaker 1:Like every man in this book is a man that is is just more fired up about what we can do in this world, even though every man in this book is a man that's fully aware and honest about who he really is. Nobody in this book is a man who's made it, because life isn't about making it. Life is about being on mission with people Like we're all flawed, but let's go over here, let's do something together. And so like, this book is an example of how, hey, we're all flawed, but let's go over here, let's do something together. And so, like, this book is an example of how, hey, we know each other, we like each other, let's do something. Yeah.
Speaker 1:The reason this book happened is not because of me, it's because of us. Yeah, if guys like Ty don't sign up and say let's do this, I wouldn't have done it. Frankly, I was too chicken. I was too chicken. I was, I was too chicken. But guys like Ty and others sign up, let's do this. I'm like okay, it's time for this chicken to type Because we're doing this thing. But the example of the Brotherhood Breakfast that's what it looks like to be on mission. You and Johnny years ago were like maybe we should do a thing, yeah, and you look at each other. You're a couple of chickens probably. You were like we can try, yeah, and here it is, all these years later, and all these things have happened because you guys decided to get in the game together.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man Gosh, there's so many things I want to touch on that Cause that that was really good. Um, especially on the team stuff. You know, it's real, it's real easy to. I love giving credit to our teammates. If I'm going, so I'll just talk about the breakfast. Our team, our team is amazing. Ty's a major player on our team. He runs a team and that helps your confidence, like I'm.
Speaker 3:You know, if someone's describing us, I'm like, yes, we have a monthly event and we have a podcast, we have a YouTube channel, we have a newsletter that goes out. I don't do any of those. I get to speak about it a a lot like I get to be in a conversation of saying what we are and what we do and what we can. You know, I have a voice in a lot of them and all of that stuff. Yeah, um, but man, it's like, but I'm not the one typing out the content. Yeah, I'm not the one who put together mailchimp or whatever we're using to send out 2000 emails, or or. I'm not even in charge of our database. Like, I'm not, I'm just fully trusting that these like, I'm just empowering this dude because he's gifted and wants to help. I'm empowering this dude because he's a gifted and wants to help, and I get to be the one that goes and shares about it.
Speaker 3:Um and I. But having that team, I can have a lot of confidence going into it because we execute. But we have execute. We execute because I have a great team and I wouldn't want to do it without them. Like we, we meet on a monthly basis and it's just a. It's one of the joys of my month and, um, it's the camaraderie we're building. We're, we're brothers together. Um, I'm not the only voice in the room, we all have a voice. Um, I'm not the only voice in the room, we all have a voice. Um, and I think, man, to flip this to like, how do we help someone build confidence?
Speaker 1:and I'm and is it? Get around, get around people that like you yeah get around people that believe in you. I tell you heard me say this. I say it all the time with men because I've I've written books. Most of my life is just the result of the people I get to know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:The people that love me is why most anything happens in my life. I'm not a strong man. I hang out with strong men and that just rubs off. Which your cape looks really good today the number of times that this guy, the number of times that this guy just today, that I'm still. Yesterday we had a tornado hit our house a couple days ago and this guy, ty, called about helping or whatever, and he called me like man, your cape looks really good, he always tells me yeah your cape looks really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just a reminder of that you're messed up, but you got this cape yeah of calling, and what's it mean when you have people in your life like you do, when you, your cape looks good today and I'm stealing that.
Speaker 4:I love that it means everything um go ahead, go ahead on here for me for so long. I mean, I was always this I felt like the word picture that stuck out to me was the hulk, where I just felt like there was that picture saying ty, you're the hulk, but why are you acting like bruce banner all the time, like you have this beast inside that people need?
Speaker 4:to see, but too many times you're afraid of letting that beast out because of what other people might think. Or is it the right move instead of just letting him unleash because he's ferocious. Yeah, he is, and so it's sometimes a reminder, like hey you got a cape on yeah. Pull it out, yeah.
Speaker 1:What's so powerful? If you're not on a team, I think it's hard to know who you are. Yeah if you're not on a team, I think it's hard to know who you are. Yeah, like, if you're just watching from the sideline, you can be like a right guard kind of human being and you can be looking at the receivers the whole time Like I totally cannot do that, yeah, and you can beat yourself up because you can't run fast and catch footballs.
Speaker 1:Well, you're a right guard, yeah, which is really needed. And I think about when you're part of a team. You have coaches and people that help bring meaning to the gift that you have. I think about I'll use ty as an example when ty talks to me that way in every couple weeks at denny's, the way ty looks at me talks to me like it fills my cup.
Speaker 1:And I can also say this right now. Just looking at Ty Ty, the age you're at and the kids you have, the age they are, you're at a place in life where you're at a major time of service to people and you do it all the time.
Speaker 1:Men's breakfast the church, church lots of things you do. There's going to be a different mantle of leadership when your kids get older. Yeah, but sometimes as a man, we don't understand the seasons of our life and if we're living by ourself, we don't understand that. Yeah, so we can be 40 years old thinking, man, I'm so far behind. And it's actually. No, you are right on target yeah, that's really good man.
Speaker 3:I want to say that working with, like, dave jewett and you're one degree, working with you on discovering purpose, those, those that will change your life. Yeah, because of right there, of like you keep looking at the receiver, thinking I should be the receiver.
Speaker 3:I can't be a receiver, Like, of course you're not. You're a guard. God designed you to be a guard. I need, you need to be a guard. And when you start discovering so, God, you designed me to be a right guard on the offensive line, yes, and if it's you the one that designed it, well, help me have a revelation that I wouldn't want to be anything else other than what exactly you designed me for. Gosh, that can really start moving the needle in your life because, like, okay, I'm not. I was never meant to be a CEO of some mega corporation. God never had that on his God never.
Speaker 1:It doesn't need to happen.
Speaker 3:It just like that was never for me. Yeah, but how the world that I live in and I mean I'm just making stuff up here. Let's take it to athlete. You know pro football, great entrepreneur or just a regular salesman? You know, whatever it is, someone's always looking up a notch. See, you know, a great entrepreneur or just a regular salesman? You know, whatever it is, someone's always looking up a notch and someone. So I'm not saying that they are. So someone could look at my life and be like okay, there's one or. And then I'm going to look at the next person, and then that next person is like my boss is looking to someone else's. I mean like whoa, you have that many. Anyway, god could have him be like well, I just want you in Tulsa to focus on a few things. That's my design. If I told you that, if I told you that was your purpose, would you be okay with that? And when we start thinking, we start a lot of times saying I'm not okay with that. And because I'm not okay with that, what's the use?
Speaker 1:What's the use and what's the matter? The lie of culture is, if you have a better job, you'll have a better life, and that's, quite frankly, not true. Jobs don't make us matter, we make jobs matter. There's a way of looking at life that enables us to be fully alive.
Speaker 1:So many men, the reason they're on the sidelines, is because all they think about is what's wrong with them, and I think they have to fix what's wrong with them, and it seems impossible to think about where they even fit, because they don't think they're even deserving of the game. They're not worthy of the game. If you knew my struggle, you would know I don't belong out there, and my message in this book, our message to men, is that you absolutely belong in the game and for a while, drag your problem out onto the field with you and play with that problem, play with that injury. And the more that you're participating in using your life for good with others, the more you're like, wow, where'd my problem go? Yeah, where did my alcohol go? Yeah. And but a lot of men that we're just, we live on the sidelines, thinking.
Speaker 1:We're thinking that when, the longer you're on the sidelines, you get what the book called called sideline thinking yeah you're trying the wrong things, efforting at the wrong things, life becomes a beauty pageant on the sidelines because there's no other purpose. I'm just hanging out over here, but in the game is a such a different experience that takes our eyes off of self and, yeah, it causes us to not care about reputation with people or my status, my job status like job status like when you're in the game.
Speaker 4:You're just like I gotta go tackle that guy right yeah, yes well, and there's a big difference between, like you're talking about, even on the sideline because usually on a sideline you think we isolate ourselves, we're by ourselves, we're in their game, we're with our teammates, yeah and having other men in your life. I mean, there's many times that these monday at denny's you know I've shared something and know you're just thinking it's just, you know, just this plain story and the guys would be like, wow, that's powerful. But if you didn't have men around you to remind you like you're more powerful than you think you are, it's easy just to get lost and cause you. Then you go back on the sideline, you start thinking in a deep thought and you keep yourself paralyzed.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and you keep yourself paralyzed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's wild to think that dealing with self-worth is really selfish. So right, you know, because you're like my self-worth and you start like you said, you wake up and you're just thinking about yourself. I just look, I mean gosh, I mean the mornings can be tough because the first thing you do is you're looking at yourself in the mirror, as raw as can be, and all your imperfections are staring right back at you. If you took your phone in the room, all the emails are starting to come through, you're thinking about your calendar for the day and the toughness that's ahead of you and and you can get beat up real fast and to think of, to start thinking low self-worth is really selfish. Because if I thought of you know, if I think of my sons, if they could crawl into my mind and they started discovering man, my dad doesn't like himself yeah man.
Speaker 3:My dad thinks he's fat. My dad thinks he's ugly. My dad thinks he's broke. My dad thinks he's like, oh like, I would stop whatever I'm doing to like whatever you're seeing. I'm about about to change, because I don't want you growing up thinking that's me, because you're about to grow up thinking that's you, yeah, and that's not you. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So if I flip it around as a dad, I'm like you're not dumb, we're going to get through this. You're handsome, you're smart, you're this. You're like I'm really good at the affirming and confirming most of the time yeah to myself. Yeah, like it would be really scary if they could crawl into my mind and see what dad goes through which is crazy because, like if you think about if you flipped it and you got in your kid's mind right, that's my dad dad is my dad yeah what we look at is just yeah that's
Speaker 3:me, but they're not gotten some good notes from my kids before that, like I don't want to get emotional, but that have like what I mean. Just really, you're awesome. You know, yeah, you're my hero, you're this. I mean the things that you hallmark stuff, man, that you're like man that'll, that'll pick you up. You know what I mean. You hope so, yeah, and not take you down even further, but it's. I just love that because that's just the truth that our eyes to them is a certain thing. I mean, you've seen those commercials or we do it, where it's like a dove commercial or something like that. They put a group of people in a room and like you have to describe what that person looks like and the portrait you know it's someone doing a portrait. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And let's describe what your friend, let's describe what Mark looks like. Yeah. And your friends describe what you look like and the portrait comes out just like superhero, yeah. And then mark, they put you in a room and like describe what you look like, yeah, and it comes exactly what you think you look like yeah and they're like whoa, who's this dude?
Speaker 3:because it's not this dude. Yeah, and um, man on. I love that. I love thinking about that because it's so the truth, you know, and I love in elementary school and I hope they still do this. I know they did it at our school for a little bit on like a little kid's birthday, like everybody in the room would go around and say what they think about Mark or Ty and they would just write it. Yeah, he's real funny, write it down. He always says hi to me. Write it down.
Speaker 3:He always, he always opens the door. He did all that and just write, and then you get to go home with a poster board full of what your peers think of you. Yeah, and it's just such a like whoa, what a gift to really know what people think that your peers not the strangers like your peers, the ones in your life, the people who know you.
Speaker 1:The people who know you what they really think about you. I think it's why we stay isolated is we're afraid of what people are going to do with us. If they know us, if people yeah, people know me, if, if they see, if I let them know what's what's in here, if they let, if I let them know my past, there's just nothing more. I feel like much of my life, although I was in a job where I knew a lot of people and a lot of people knew my name. I wasn't a fraud. I was who I said I was. I just couldn't admit that. I felt like I'm really just a prisoner in my own existence. Wow, and I feel like there again.
Speaker 1:From the beginning of time, the battle has been for humanity. Will I ever be comfortable in my own skin? Adam and Eve had this freedom that caused them to be, Scripture says, naked and unashamed. And then, at the fall, they run to the bushes to hide from everything. And even that's not enough. They have to cover themselves with fig leaves. Because I'm not. I can't even stand seeing me like this. And then, if we're not careful, we can live our whole life in the bushes with fig leaves on, and then, when you find people that you can become fully unhidden with yeah, and take off the fig leaves and be like this is who I am. And hey, what if we started men's breakfast? Hey, what if we write a book together? Yeah, hey, what if we do? What if we go to Denny's twice a month together? And people, when people believe you in your complete nakedness, there is a level of freedom that begins to happen. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Honestly very few people find yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I well, Ty, did you have anything to add? I know you're just a hidden gem over there that we need to go on.
Speaker 3:We need to man. I just think that some. Well, first of all, I just loved in the game that I'm a sports guy. I mean somewhat, and it's just it's. It can be easy. To the coaching part Coaching really stood out to me. I wrote that down as we were talking and I think I was thinking of you and I was thinking of Dave Jewett, and then I started thinking about myself a little bit just here in this moments of the coaching you know of, like I get to right now really champion some men and my sons and empower some guys and it's like because someone did to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know if we can flip this on we have. I mean, I think some questions to ask are like hey, mark, how do men take their first steps? On we have. I mean, I think some questions to ask are like hey, mark, how do men take their first steps? But I also want to ask these like. Also like man, if you're already in a good spot, how are you going to help someone else?
Speaker 3:right and I, if I look at my life 10 years ago, you know I had a friend and johnny really starting to champion me and you know his word to me at the time was like Mark, you're really championing me and I'm like how is that even possible.
Speaker 3:You know he would, he would extend them. He's like dude, I'm just kind of like you said. I wrote the book because these guys, because of these guys, we moved forward on a lot. According to him, we moved forward on a lot of things because he would be like bro, you are pushing on me to do this and so, well, let's do this or whatever. It was not even the launch of it, but just certain things, a certain speaker, a certain idea, and he would let me share my ideas and then those are great ideas and, not knowing, he thinks I'm a dummy. Yes, and.
Speaker 3:I got a brilliant mind telling me that's a brilliant idea, and then me not. Well, you just say that because, you're a really charming person and then be like, oh really, Because we're about to do that. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I really do think it's a good idea. And then you know, as those years, the early years of this guy telling me and you really champion me, man, and I'm like, dude, this is what you're doing to me, like you're giving me a chance to lead, or it wasn't even like lead stuff, it was like we're just moving, we're working, we're in the trenches and we're fighting. And and then now I really have opportunities to do that with others. You know, like Ty has a great idea and I feel Ty can be a testament to this man. He sends me an idea. I'm like, man, let's roll with it 100%. Trust you, you, you know this better, this, better, this area, better than I do. Or or my our guy, alan, in the kitchen like bro, I don't know how to run a kitchen, you're the one with the experience.
Speaker 3:Like man, let's do it. If you think that, just tell me what you need. Tell me what you need. So I want to talk about a couple of things real quick. Well, let's start with this. Mark, the person, the man who is listening, who can admit I am on the sideline, everything you're discussing, that's me.
Speaker 1:Before he gets, his hands on this book. Could you tell him what are some steps that he can start taking to get off of the sideline and into the game?
Speaker 1:Well, it's going to take the hardest step of all, which is making a phone call. A guy called me today and he said the magic words. He said I do you have a minute? He said I have something to talk through if you, if you can call someone and say those words and the rest will take care of itself. The longer you're on the sidelines, you think you have to fix yourself first. You think it's going to be so overwhelming If a man will just find one person to have one conversation with where he just says I just need to talk through something.
Speaker 1:The conversation might be. I'm just struggling to find meaning in life. I'm just going through the motions, my job is it pays the bills, but it is just grinding my heart to death. Most men feel like the conversation they need to have is talking about I've been drinking too much, which is fine. You need to talk about that at some point, yeah. But it's more so talking about why you're drinking too much. Yeah, get, get, get past the the, the weed and get more to the root.
Speaker 1:I would just say one conversation can change a man's life if he'll just have it with one person that he trusts and just say can I just? I don't. I don't know how to say it, but I've got these things in me that are bothering me. Just let it not to be gross, but it's like vomiting. Vomiting is never majestic. You've never seen someone vomit with eloquence. It's awkward every time, but you feel so much better when you just do it. So, just like, let that conversation be like vomiting, just like I don't know how to say this, but I'm this and that, and let your heart just make up words as you go and the clarity that can come. And the main thing that happens is that when you have that conversation, what you're really doing is coming out of hiding. And when you come out of hiding, who knows what you might begin to see.
Speaker 3:Yeah, ty, what's life like when someone starts getting in the game, like, what is, what do you feel? Or what do you see if you look at your life? And a time where you could look back and say, man, I'm on the sideline, I'm not even in the game. I mean, obviously you were asked to write some of your story, so to you're in the game. Can you speak to that?
Speaker 4:yeah, I would say I mean because there was a period of time where it was, you know, so much isolation, where I spent so much time on self-improvement where I thought that was the fix. Man, if I get self-improvement, I just work on me more, yeah, and so when you start getting the game, my dad didn't model being around other men, and so that's where I've been intensely focused on just getting around other guys, yeah, whether it's, you know, being around, uh, guys like chris costa, or being around mark, and you're just finding more men that I can be around, because there's other guys that remind you of who you are, but, at the same time, there's other guys that you know can help keep you in check too. Yeah, they say, hey, can we talk for a minute? You mentioned this. I just got a question around that and just kind of reiterate and direct you back in the right path.
Speaker 4:Um, a guy once told me this. He said, ty, your best thinking has gotten you to where you're at right now, which. What that brought me out of is the fact of you know I'm sitting over on the sidelines pondering, well, your best thinking is keeping you where you're at your best thinking. You need other influence, which?
Speaker 1:was other men.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and that's the part that gets you back in the game to me is being around other guys, because it keeps you in the game. Yeah, you know, it's just like we. I coached my fifth grade girls team and so there was times girls would get in there and they would. They would their assignment. You know, you don't just yank him out, you just, you know, me and the other coaches were just like hey, that's your girl, you know that's your spot, and you just remind them where they're supposed to be and that's, I think, what other guys doing are. When we get the game, it reminds hey, oh, that's that's your, that's your defender, that's you, and it's just, it's those voices on the side reminding you hey, I'm not yanking you out, You're still in the game, I'm just reminding you that you're doing a great job where you're going.
Speaker 1:I want to tell this story. I don't know that. You you know this. Seven years ago I was a guy that felt like I was just living on descent. I felt like I had a job that I liked and but I felt like, as a man, everything about me was just very underwhelming. I was an underachiever, I'm losing at life and it's like how do I stop this thing? I didn't think much of me. I had a job that I felt like was a solid job that at least I can tell you. Hey, I work here and hopefully you're impressed. Was there's nothing else I got for you.
Speaker 1:I didn't, I didn't feel like it was anything about me that was like worth much. And so you guys, at the when this at this means breakfast invited me a couple of times to come and share. You guys gave me a voice before I knew I had one, that's good, this is how people help people get in the game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, honestly, I think I think most, I think people need someone else to come alongside of them, yeah, and usher them into the game. Yeah, yes, like you can cross this line, you belong out there. And you and johnny, way back, when I'm like I'm just a guy that doesn't have much to offer, and you guys said come speak. It was you guys. Help put a cape around my neck that's great and it's very powerful and this is the kind of thing that we can all do for each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we can I can.
Speaker 3:I like today Nate Olson, who is our speaker today at Brotherhood Breakfast. He said because he was talking about when he gave his life to Christ all those years ago, when he was a young man. He told the story. Anyway, it was like, well, I asked someone, well, I had an encounter with God and he knows he gave his heart to God Like well, how do I do this thing? Yeah, you know how do I? I don't even know how to follow Jesus. Yeah, and he said someone gave him this advice or he told us this is like you don't know how to follow Jesus. You start following the person who you think they know how to follow Jesus and I was like that is so right. You don't know how to follow the Lord. You link up with someone who you believe I know that guy knows how to follow the Lord, so I'm going to start hanging around him and that's all I need to know right now.
Speaker 3:He didn't say okay, let's start with the book of John, because this is where Jesus introduces, where God introduces his son and John the Baptist. I mean, those steps exist, but really the key would be go, follow the person who's following Christ and then it'll start unrolling. I mean, it's the other person, it's the teammate. I just love this discussion today because of the game stuff and the analogies we can use of the sideline and the coaching and the teammate and every position matters. I mean, dude, the manager of the Super Bowl champions got a ring.
Speaker 3:They didn't say you're not a part of this. They said, yeah, got a ring. Yeah. They didn't say you're not a part of this. Yeah.
Speaker 3:They said you've been a part of this and we're going to give you a ring. Yeah, like they're all. Like they just didn't leave behind certain, like if you're, it's all, like the scout team is there for a reason. We need the scout team. Yeah, we can't just play in front of invisible people in front of us. We need, we need him. You know the filmmakers that I mean. You just stack, just stack it up, like hey, the team needs to watch film. We're coaching, we can't be filming. We need the filmmakers. I mean, just go through the line. But to imagine that the filmmaker would think that he's unworthy because he doesn't have the whistle around his neck. It's a guy, have the whistle around his neck. The guy with the whistle around his neck is like man, I can't really be a coach unless you give me the film to study. Once you give me that film to study, now I can really go coach. It won't work. It's powerful.
Speaker 3:It won't work without both of them.
Speaker 1:There's a chapter about this reality you're talking about that in the game is a way of looking at life and instead of we feel life makes us think we have to go find the ladder to climb. Then we're exhausted every day Because every day we spend a lot of time climbing the ladder up and climbing it down. Every day go climb it up and see if I can get higher and then climb it all the way down. What if you never had to climb the ladder? What if life is about to climb the ladder? What if life is about how you show up in it, no matter the occupation, just how you show up?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was really good.
Speaker 3:The only thing I wanted to say and you can, you guys can keep doing some final thoughts or however you want to say is the self-help, the thinking of self. It's a hot thing right now and there's truth to it, I think, where the truth, the truth meaning like you need to be improving yourself, whether it be through, you know, workshops, where you're getting better at your craft, your trade, health and fitness, so you can live longer and live the life God's called you to live, those all matter and it's really easy to get swept up to think that's the most thing that matters. And if we I'm thinking of myself here like man I really want to tweak my thinking and renew my mind to. I need all of that so I can serve others better. Because if I'm just thinking of myself, dude you're, you're picking up that weight again. You got a mountain to climb here in a little bit Like you're, just okay, I got to get in the gym, okay, I got to get new contracts, okay, and just like, all, meet, meet, meet me.
Speaker 1:Let's be honest Most self-help doesn't help self. It just doesn't. Why are there always more self-help books? Because if one of them worked, we'd just stop. We'd all read that same book over and over. That's the one it's just most. I think most people, the best self-help is to get connected to other people so that we get over ourself, which really helps ourself. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nate said it perfectly this morning you got to lose your life to find it. Tonight I'm going to go to the gym and do a really hard workout, but not because of me. It's because of Roger, my teammate. Yeah.
Speaker 1:This guy who I met him at the gym a while back and I he's. He keeps challenging me. So every friday I just go to the work that the ymca at 5 30 and he tells me what we're doing. He's not my, he's not a gym coach, he's just a friend, yeah, and he designs the workout, and if it's not him, I'm gonna go around, I'm gonna look for someone to talk to, I'm gonna play solitaire on the treadmill, you know, and let someone else talk to you, but I go in there with him. It's gonna be an hour of sweat, yeah.
Speaker 3:So, teammates, make us stronger yeah, well, let's do a couple of final thought, final thought from you, ty, and then we'll do a final thought from from Mark. Uh, well, the book, the book is out. I bought mine off of Amazon is that the best place? Or your website, or okay. Um, yeah, because I think someone sent me the link, someone posted it, or they sent it in my group, me. Here's the link, and I just used that link and and well, if I'm being honest, I sent that link to my wife and she bought it for me because I don't know how to do that stuff. So we have an author here, we have a participator here and you authored your chapter or whatever. What is the final thought about this book or final thought about this podcast today that you would like to share?
Speaker 4:I think it's just for guys, in essence, of having peace. I mean there's sometimes when you're on the sideline. I think there's just for guys, in essence, of having peace. I mean there's sometimes when you're on the sideline, I think there's so much concern about like how do I get in the game that it almost cripples us to a point of like we don't even want to take action. And probably the easiest easiest thing that Mark reminded me of is all you got to do is pick up this right foot and set it back down, pick up your left foot and set it back down, so for you to take steps from getting back in the game is just taking a, just taking one step of action. Yeah, you don't need to take leaps and bounds, it's not hard yeah take one step, one step.
Speaker 1:I love that I'll just echo that. Yeah, when you get into the game it feels foreign because you get very accustomed to the sideline. It feels foreign because you get very accustomed to the sideline.
Speaker 1:There's not much required of you there. You can beat yourself up all day and then drink alcohol or eat food to feel better and then keep doing that over and over again. When you're in the game, it's a whole different way of thinking. That's why you have to have teammates who remind you you belong out here. Let's go, come on, just keep playing In the game in your life or you could say the ministry of your life or the mission of your life it builds because you just stay in the game and you keep staying with those teammates and you get ideas.
Speaker 1:Let's go back in history. Let's say you and Johnny don't start the men's breakfast. What would be the impact of that? It wouldn't just be the absence of the men's breakfast, it would be the absence of how many things. And so I agree with you. Just take steps with people toward mission, take steps with people toward mission, take steps with people toward mission, and it's amazing how that just transforms our life and our thinking and the game just begins to happen around us and things happen. Not because any of us are very smart. We're not.
Speaker 1:It's not because we're talented's, because we just decided let's do something together, yeah, and things just happen. This book didn't happen because any of us are very smart. We're just committed to each other and we're committed to the good of other people on planet earth yeah man, that is awesome.
Speaker 3:I had a while back I saw a friend like at church or and uh, yeah, I think it was at church and and he was looking good.
Speaker 3:You know, there's this just like, there's like a spark to him look better, pep in a step or something, and um, so I was telling my wife. I was just like, oh man, someone said like he just looked like something about him, looks sharp today. She was like, well, I think he got a job and I think he's feeling like he has a purpose and you can probably just start seeing it. And there was just something about like and maybe for him landing a job or taking a next step was enough for that moment to be like now I have a like I'm living on purpose. I'm sure you can speak deeper into that, because that's the job, isn't his purpose. But but we started the podcast, the point, the point being of I bet he took a step. Yeah, I bet he took a step, yeah, and it was that, even if it was the step of I'm starting a new career today, yeah, you know, I'm guessing that's what it was.
Speaker 1:I mean, I just think, like we had heard like step of starting a new career today.
Speaker 3:I'm guessing that's what it was. I just think we had heard I think I got a new job. That step could be just enough to get things cultivated Well just one final thought Us sitting here right now.
Speaker 1:This podcast is a step you took, and you took a step to reach out to us. So here we are, and now someone is looking at that camera listening to this, and they have a moment right now in their life that can change their life and it might be calling you, it might be calling someone else in their life.
Speaker 1:But just one step. This is what the game looks like. Yes, your friday may have been easier. If you've been like you know what it's friday, I can take some more time to myself. Yeah, just I'll do some work. Whatever, you took this step to like invite us, and both of us were like okay. So here we are yeah, that's fantastic.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm excited to dive into this book. I've cracked into a little bit Again. It's your writings in here in the beginning, and so guys get the book in the game. Mark Delaney, this is. This is Mark Delaney, this is Ty Andler, and these men are making a lasting impact. If you like today's conversation and want to hear more, hit that subscribe button. Don't forget to leave a review and share your thoughts. Your feedback keeps the impact going.