Internal Bleeding

This week on Paths to Glory, we sit with a young woman who was baptized in the name of Jesus Christ before she could tie her own shoes, and received the Holy Ghost when she was five years old. She did not need to be rescued from the streets. She did not need to be rescued from a jail cell. She needed to be rescued from something the world was never going to see — a slow bleeding on the inside of a life that looked, from every angle out there, exactly the way a Pentecostal life is supposed to look.

Her father was a lay minister who prayed people through to the Holy Ghost — until he wasn't. Her mother was a woman of quiet, unshakable prayer who never spoke a word against him. And the daughter in between them carried, for years, a bitterness so heavy she still uses the word hatred to describe it.

This is the story of what a sermon she cannot remember started in her, what a pastor's wife's single sentence finished, what a very specific prayer received a very specific answer to within fifteen minutes, and what a house fire two weeks before her wedding taught her about the family of God.

And, in the end, of a childhood memory about a light that could finally be turned off — because the room had never actually been empty.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_05 1:16

Everyone has a story. That story is your path. A path filled with trials, triumphs, transformations, and miracles. Welcome to Paths to Glory, where we dive deep into the extraordinary narratives of those who have had their darkest moments, turned into beacons of hope.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

It's my task.

SPEAKER_05 2:06

Each episode unveils the raw, heartfelt stories of redemption and renewal, showcasing the awesome power of God. Prepare to be moved, inspired, and reminded that no path is beyond redemption. Now join us and let these powerful stories illuminate your own category. This story is about a young woman who was baptized in the name of Jesus Christ before she could tie her own shoes and received the Holy Ghost when she was just five years old. She did not have to be rescued from the streets. She did not have to be rescued from a jail cell. She had to be rescued from something the world was never going to see. A slow bleeding on the inside of a life that looked from every possible angle out here. Exactly the way a Pentecostal life is supposed to look. Which is a different kind of testimony. But it may be the one more of us need to hear. She grew up in a small town in southern Mississippi. The same church most of her life. Her mother was a woman of prayer, her father was a lay minister in that same church. A man who prayed with the children, prayed people through to the Holy Ghost, led the Sunday school for a season. The change started. In her own careful telling, after his stepfather passed away, he began keeping company with people who had walked away from the church, and slowly he began to walk with them. Alcohol, substances. He is now in and out of jail. He has never met her husband, he does not know her family. He is a man of good moments and long, very dark seasons, and she is careful still about what she says about him. Because she was raised by the mother she watched, never to speak against her father, even when the case against him was airtight. Her mother did not speak. Her mother prayed. There were seasons when there was no gas in the car, her mother prayed, and the car started. There were times there were not groceries in the house. Her mother prayed, and whatever came or did not come, her mother taught her daughters the one non-negotiable that has now outlived every relationship in the house. You are faithful to God. No matter what happens, you go to church and you do the right thing, and it is going to be alright. From the outside, this was a Pentecostal daughter of a Pentecostal home. From the inside, something else was happening. Because a girl who watches her father slowly become someone she does not recognize, and who watches her mother absorb every wave of it without a word of protest, will find someone in the house to blame. It will not always be the one who deserves it. It is more often the one who is safe enough to be blamed. And the one still praying in the kitchen, still packing the school lunches, still refusing to leave, is always safer than the one who is gone. She will tell you quietly that from the end of high school through her mid-twenties, she carried a bitterness against both her parents, but especially against her mother, that came close at times to something she is willing now to call hatred. Nobody at church could see it. She still came, she still sang, she still worked in the ministries a good Pentecostal daughter works in. And underneath every one of those Sundays, she was bleeding. There was a summer at a youth conference when a preacher stood up and preached a sermon whose title she has never forgotten. Even though she will say honestly, she cannot recall a single word he said. The sermon was called Internal Bleeding. She remembers only what happened after the last word. She went to an altar. She prayed until all the small blood vessels in her cheeks had broken and her face was mottled and red. She was young enough to be embarrassed by it. She could not have named what was coming out of her. But something began to move that day that had not moved in years. And she had one more person in her life who would not let her go back. The pastor's wife of that Mississippi church. A woman who had the hard conversations with her that nobody else would, who prayed with her, who told her, because someone had to tell her a single sentence she has now carried into her thirties and will likely carry into every other room of her life. You can let this situation make you better, or you can let it make you bitter. Which one are you going to let it make you? She didn't answer that question quickly. Meanwhile, the way life goes when it is not asking your permission, everything else began coming apart. She had wanted to be a nurse, she failed her third semester by two tenths of a point. Two tenths. And because her father worked at the college, and she had been going tuition free through his benefit, the same door that had opened for her closed the same way. A new policy had gone in the year she failed. She could not reapply. She would tell you now that she was devastated at the time because nursing had been her way out, her own plan, her own future. She got a political science degree instead. She got into campaigns. She thought at one point about running for mayor of her hometown, then perhaps state representative. She was building a life. Just not the life she had once thought was hers. And she was single. Well into her mid-twenties in a Pentecostal church, which is a particular kind of law. She remembers sitting at a friend's wedding, serving lasagna to the guests, weeping into a serving spoon. God, why is it fair that this is happening for them and not for me? There had been one man before in her early twenties, a brief thing. It ended when a pastor sat across from her and told her gently, I'm not telling you no. I'm telling you, you will not be happy. She took that as her no. She drove home through the flatness of the Mississippi Delta with her windows down and screamed at an open sky. God, I had everything I thought I wanted, and you took it out of my hands. Then the losses started stacking. A grandfather she had not been close to passed away. Her sister was in a serious car accident. Her father left. She was twenty seven. She had already lost the career she had planned, the man she had thought she wanted, and now the shape of the family she had grown up inside. She was, in every functional sense, tired. She almost did not go to the youth conference that year. She didn't have the money. She talked herself out of it. Then she talked herself back into it. And she got on a plane. And here is where this story turned. Not because she was strong enough to turn it, but because for the first time she prayed a prayer specific enough that only God could answer it. She was in her hotel room on the second morning of the conference. She was crying. Around her, younger girls were chit chatting about boys and just being oblivious. She sat on the bed and she said out loud but not loudly, three things she had never before dared put a number to. Maybe God, there is a man out there who is thirty or older, who will treat me like a princess, and who is not selfish. She wiped her face, she got up, and she went about her day. Fifteen minutes or so later she was standing in a hotel foyer with a friend when a woman walked up to her, whom she had briefly met the day before, but could barely remember. Are you single? She almost refused to answer. Her friend answered for her. The woman said, There is a man in our church who's interested in you. He's around thirty, and I have always said he would treat his wife like a princess. She asked one question, the only one she still needed to know. Is he selfish? The woman almost laughed. He is the least selfish man I have ever met. Three prayers, three answers, fifteen minutes. She met him within the hour. She shook his hand and she will tell you, she who had never believed in any of it, that the moment their hands touched, she had a peace she had never had. And she knew. She knew this is my husband. They met in July, they started talking in September. He proposed in April, they were married in August. And now here is the strange, stubborn detail because the healing of a soul is not always tidy. Even then, even that close to the answered prayer, she was still fighting the old bitterness. Just nights before her wedding, the same pastor's wife had to sit her down for one more hard conversation. You have to deal with this, she said. You cannot carry this into your marriage. She was still working on it. Even two weeks before the wedding, in the middle of the night in a Florida hotel room on the trip with her bridesmaids, a phone rang. The rental house she and her sister had been living in, a house where every wedding gift she had received was stacked, every china plate she had shopped for months to give to her guests as a favor. Every bridesmaid dress, every letter from her grandfather, every piece of her sister's artwork. And hanging on the back of the bedroom door, the wedding dress itself was on fire. Total loss. Everything. She didn't go to the side of the house until her fiance came into town for the wedding. She just could not process it. She simply moved through the two weeks that were left, doing the next thing and then the next. And the church went to work. A girl she had never met, a girl she still doesn't really know, drove to another state, took her own wedding dress, and drove it back so that she would have something to wear. When she tried it on in a dressing room, she wept, not only because the dress was not hers, but because it fit perfectly. No alterations, nothing to take in. Almost as though it had been waiting on a hanger in another state just for her. That dress was one of a thousand things. Photographers donated their time. The pastor and his wife replaced the wedding gift they had given her, the very first one she had received. A GoFundMe account filled with names that she did not recognize. Whole churches sent money to a family they had never met. At the far end of it, she will tell you that the fire taught her one thing. She is not sure she could have learned any other way. Blood family, in some seasons of life, is just not there. But the family of God, the people God has put in your life through the doors of a church, will show up when the floor of your house has literally caved in. They will drive across state lines to bring you a dress. They will fill an account with the names of strangers. They will make sure that when the smoke has finally cleared, you have something to walk down an aisle in. She has since moved a thousand miles from that Mississippi town into a different church in a totally different desert. It has not always been easy. The language, the culture, the heat, the food, the fact that the trees do not look like the trees where she comes from, but that new church became her second home. Her son, born after her father-in-law passed away, the rainbow, she calls him, at the end of a long storm, is being raised by both congregations. She calls them her two villages. If you met her at a service now, three years married, you would not see the girl who screamed at the sky. You would see a young mother who laughs easily, worships freely, is not afraid to say she loves God out loud. You would see a marriage that has not yet had an argument, only in her words, little disagreements. You would see a woman who played Monopoly one evening with her husband and did not fight about it, because the arguing life she prayed she would never have, well, she doesn't have. The bleeding stopped. Not because of one sermon, not because of one wedding, not because a stranger's dress fit her perfectly, but because a mother would not stop praying. And a pastor's wife would not stop telling her the truth. And a god who is patient with a bitterness the world cannot see was willing to answer when she finally asked him something specific enough to answer. There's one memory she wanted to leave us, a childhood memory. A memory of a very small girl who had been terrified of the dark for as long as she could remember, not of monsters, but of what she was sure was living in the dark. She had a bedside light that stayed on every night for years. She had a Bible and a little prayer book by her bed. One night, out of nowhere, she looked at her mother and said, You can turn it off. Her mother, who knew what the light had cost her daughter, asked her gently, more than once, are you sure? She was sure. She had prayed, the fear was gone. She lay down that night holding the Bible and the prayer book and she slept. She says, the most peaceful sleep she can remember from her childhood. The girl who once could not sleep unless the light was on spent a lot of her life since asking in one form or another whether the light can go off yet, whether the anger can, whether the grief can, whether the waiting can, whether the fear can. Sometimes that answer has been yes. Sometimes the answer has been not yet. But either way, the room has never been empty. He has been in it the whole time. And this story? Well, it's yours, Hannah Aldridge. This is your path to glory.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

I was raised in Brookhaven, Mississippi.

SPEAKER_05 21:09

So you really are a Mississippi girl, like born and raised. So yeah, it's really strange, though, for you. I mean, you moved away. And you've been here now how long?

SPEAKER_02 21:29

It'll be three years next week.

SPEAKER_05 21:32

So growing up family in church.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Um grew up in church. I was born in Dallas, and then we moved back to America. My mom and dad were both in church. Growing up. I mean, and you look back and you say, okay, you know, I should have realized things weren't normal.

SPEAKER_05 23:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

But also, like, God was faithful and we had a good life. Like we were blessed. We had wonderful people in church that helped. My mom was amazing. My dad had good times. He definitely has good points. I don't want to like bash him, but now it's a sad situation. Sure. Um, but I would say that it taught me just to keep being faithful to God no matter what happens, you still like trust God and let him unfold your story. I was very scared to get married because of situations and things. It was hard to trust. But when God puts the right person, it makes it easier and better.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Now your your dad was it was he in and out of church?

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Not visibly. Like not, he didn't miss church, but there was definitely hypocritical moments.

SPEAKER_05 24:04

Um doing air quotes. So it wasn't he wasn't in church, but he was at church.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

So there were times when he was definitely like gung-ho in church. He would pray with all the kids, helped pray people through the Holy Ghost, led Sunday school and all that. But then I would say the when I noticed a change was after my dad's stepdad passed away. He started hanging out with his family who was not in church and they're backsliders and just went back into Okay, they were backsliders.

SPEAKER_05 24:31

They had been in church before. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Yeah, back into like alcohol and drugs and all that kind of stuff. I was gonna ask if they're a substance abuse. So um I I wasn't living at home during the time, so I don't know all the details, and I think that's probably God's grace.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Yes. But um because that's yeah. That's very difficult um to live through. Yeah. Um of course I was didn't live through that as a child, or my family was all very well intact, and everybody Yeah. Everybody was were they were good people.

SPEAKER_05 25:08

Um so then when um But you did live through it as a married woman as a married woman.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

And that is um there's a lot that that goes into that.

SPEAKER_05 25:20

Now, since we're talking about that, you've already said multiple times that your mother was amazing. Yes, you said it you said it bef while they were still married, still together, you've said it multiple times. Why? What is it about your mother that's amazing and it specifically through this time and situation?

SPEAKER_02 25:39

Yeah. I mean, not to say she was perfect, but she's a lady of faith. And so through all everything, I mean, there were times we didn't have groceries, the car wouldn't start, you know, there there were just hard things going on, but mom always would stop and pray. And she would she taught us through everything, like you're faithful to God, you put God first no matter what happens, no matter abuse, no matter, you know, whatever. As long as you go to church and you do the right thing, it's gonna be all right. Exactly. You know, and and there were hard times, you know, even my mom and I's relationship. I was very bitter for a long time. Sure. And I do think getting married and all that has helped me with that, you know. God bitter at her? Bitter at her and my dad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Probably bitter to the point of almost hatred. It was it was pretty.

SPEAKER_05 26:33

And yet today you have said multiple times your mom's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:37

So it's fixed. Yeah, it's fixed. Good.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

Thank you. Thank God. It's it's definitely God.

SPEAKER_05 26:42

So okay, you've opened the can now. Um bitter. Oh you spent some time bitter.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Oh, definitely.

SPEAKER_05 26:50

To the point that it made you question God?

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Um, yeah. Yeah, I would say yes. I just questioned why. You know, why did I go grow up this way? Why, you know, did I go through these things? But now, you know, I can look and see. I still don't know why, but I'm able to talk to other kids who've gone through hard things or whatever, and just use that to talk with them.

SPEAKER_05 27:17

Perhaps that's the why. You did grow up in church. And there are unfortunately there are stories like this.

unknown 27:26

There are.

SPEAKER_05 27:27

And you still God is still good, God is still faithful.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

No matter what, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:33

But you go through we go through things for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

We do.

SPEAKER_05 27:39

You're better.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

I was.

SPEAKER_05 27:41

What got you through it?

SPEAKER_02 27:43

I had um a wonderful pastor's wife. She is Mama B. That's how she's known at home, and I would say she was a mama bee. And I had some hard talking to's, lots of prayer, um, you know, and just really realizing that although life wasn't perfect, my parents did still want the best for us, you know, and that God will get you through it, and there's a reason for this. And Mama B always told me, you can let this situation make you better or bitter. And how are you gonna let it make you? And I don't know, something just clicked probably about the time I met Jesse. It really, it was kind of like a ultimatum either you get over your bitterness or you're not getting married. Because a bitter wife is not gonna be a good wife. Exactly. That is, yes.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Now we know you only from here.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

It's just true.

SPEAKER_05 28:40

And I am having a real struggle identifying the bitter Anna.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

No, it was there. How old were you at this time?

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Um probably I really struggled with it through the end of high school, probably until my mid-20s. Yeah. Yeah. So several years.

SPEAKER_05 29:00

And your your sister is younger by four years. Four years. So she was right in the heat of it.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

And she just holds everything back. But yeah, she was yeah, we were both right there figuring out.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

So tell me about how God healed your relationship with you and your mom.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

I really can't point to like a specific time. I think it was just over time. You know, I realized that, you know, because through the divorce, I blamed. I I just found ways to blame. I didn't understand. I was like, I thought we didn't get divorced. Like, uh that's what I always heard. I would say I blamed both, but I did put the blame heavily on my mom, and that's not a secret. Like, unfortunately, like she's human nature, whatever. Right. I just found someone to blame. And it was really around my wedding time that I the night before, I said the night before my wedding, or two nights before my wedding, I had a really hard talking to with Mama B, and she was like, You've got to get over these feelings, like you've got to So as late as your wedding. Oh, yeah.

unknown 30:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:09

You were still struggling with this.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

I was still struggling.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

So you mentioned that you think that meeting Jesse and getting getting married was a big catalyst in all of this. Well, how did that happen? Did he just drop out of the sky?

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Yeah, I'll have to I'll I'll speak to that. I will kind of go back to my mom and dad and say there are many good things I learned too. Absolutely. You know, dad taught me from a young age about one God. He taught me, you know, you always go to church, even though he hasn't fully lived that example, and now he's in and out of jail and all of those things. So we do not have a relationship. He still taught that. And a mom, I would just anyone that meets her says that, you know, she's just a happy lady all the time, no matter what. But she taught me to pray. She is a woman of prayer. Through all the things we went through, I could tell many, many stories, but every time it was just pray. Well, you didn't have gas, you'd pray and there would be gas in the car. You know, things would happen. And it was just interesting.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

So now you graduate high school. Did you go to college?

SPEAKER_02 31:16

I did go to college. Um, I originally went to nursing school, was not successful. In my third semester, I failed by 0.2. Not two points, point two.

SPEAKER_03 31:27

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

And they had like a new um protocol in place. You had to, I failed two classes, pediatrics and maternal newborn. And it's like a new protocol. If you failed both classes, you couldn't reapply to the same school.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

So I was devastated because my dad worked at that college, so I had went tuition free. So I just finished with a degree in political science, and I was really questioning like, God, this was my way out. Like, this was how I was gonna have my own life. I was gonna do all these things.

SPEAKER_05 31:56

How we how we take it out of God's hands. We're like, yeah, no, this is the answer. This has been a train wreck, God. I I'm gonna fix this.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, a long story. I ended up getting into politics and in the legal field.

SPEAKER_05 32:08

You did, which is also an interesting piece. So you worked in politics?

SPEAKER_02 32:13

I worked in politics, yeah. I helped um with volunteer coordination on a lot of campaigns, fundraising. Really, at one point in life, politics kind of consumed me too much, and I was very overbalanced between church and you know, the political plans. I mean, I wanted to maybe run for mayor one day in our town, and then for which was how many people? There's 30,000-ish in the county. There's about 10 to 11,000 in the city. So, you know, I had big dreams. And even today I still joke about it. I was like, if I had been home, the I may have been mayor now. And my husband's like, but you're not. Like, no, I'm happy.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

I'm good. So, Jesse, how's the meeting? How did your paths cross?

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Yeah, that's great. So I have to backtrack a little bit without giving names, but I was in a relationship, my first ever relationship. So I went through really, really hard lonely season. I felt like really all the girls at our church did. God, we're older. Why is it taking so long?

SPEAKER_05 33:19

You were older girls.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

Yes, like age, give me some ages. Um, so I was 27 when I met Jesse. Okay. So probably like from the age of 21 up. You know, I really started questioning. There were some younger girls in our church that had gotten married. And I remember one specific wedding, I was sitting there serving lasagna and just crying. Well, how is it fair? Right. You know, God, why not us? Why not me? It's like I'm happy for these people. Right. Happy for them. But what is it our turn, you know? And really all of us kind of walked through that valley, and I ended up a guy, I used social media at the time for business stuff, and a guy messaged me. No, okay, I went to a youth rally to church we didn't really hang out with that much, but we happened to go. And it was it was fine.

SPEAKER_05 34:07

This all sounds dangerous from the start.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Yeah, it was interesting. Anyway, so we went and met this guy and his friend. It was me and my friend, and afterwards I get a message ran out of the blue on Instagram, and he's like, Hey, I'm interested in you. Wanted to see how we could talk and all this. Well, I was really shocked, and I was like, wow. Like, no, I'd never dated at this point. I think I was, I think I was 24, maybe 25. I was older. So I called my pastor's wife and I was like, What how do I respond? What do I do? Like, I'm not supposed to use socials for personal stuff, and this is definitely personal. Like, what's the best thing to do? And she was like, You can just respond and let them know. Reach out to your pastor, like if he's interested.

SPEAKER_05 34:53

Okay, great, great advice.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

So that's what happened. We talked very briefly. I fell head over heels because it was my first. You know, yes. I was so excited to feel cherished. Yeah, you know, I didn't grow up with that and feeling cherished and having someone that loved and cared about or seemed to, it felt nice. Well, not to get into any details, but it was just not the right fit. So I ended up breaking up and it was devastating.

SPEAKER_05 35:18

I remember you did the breaking up.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

I did. My pastor told me, I'm not telling you no. You make your own decision. I'm telling you, you're not going to be happy.

SPEAKER_05 35:28

Well, that's pretty much a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

That was I was like, okay, this is my no. I remember walking out of the back of the church, and Brother Ballinger was coming in and I was, I was a wreck. I was sobbing. And he was like, oh, sister, are you okay? And I was like, no, sir, I'm not. And I just kept walking out. So every time I see him, I remember. I wonder if he remembers. Anyway, so I remember driving through the Mississippi Delta, which, if you've never been in the Mississippi Delta, it's just fields and fields and fields for miles, just big open sky. And I was out there doing some work and I was crying and very upset for days. And I just remember like rolling all my windows down, like screaming at this guy. And I was like, God, like, why? Like I had everything I thought I wanted, and you took it out of my hands. And I didn't understand that. It was like, why? You know, and I and my parents were still together. That's how I was trying to remember. Yeah, they were still together. So, like, that happened. I changed jobs. No, I had just changed jobs. That happened. Then we broke up. My grandfather, who I wasn't very close to, honestly, because they weren't in church. We didn't, we went over there for holidays or whatever for a few minutes. But he ended up passing away. And hindsight's 2020, but probably shouldn't have been there for all that, like every day and all that. But we were. And you know, he passed away after that. Then my sister had an awful wreck. I'm trying to remember the whole timeline. Sure. I think that's how it was. He passed away, then Kelsey had the wreck. Or yeah. At some point through that, my dad leaves. So, like all of these things happen. And then it's my friend's wedding in Brookhaven, Pastor Bowling's daughter. And there's a guy there from another church, and he ends up talking to me. And he wasn't like, he actually was kind of very self-conceited. He was just talking about all this stuff. And I was like, well, whatever. He seems interested. Like he talked to me for four hours, it seemed. I don't know if it was actually that long, but he asked me, Are you going to go to Heritage Youth Conference? I was like, no, I don't have the money. I'm not going. Like, not going this year. And he was like, Well, I think you should come. So I was like, okay, whatever. I'll figure it out. So I mentioned it to a group and they were like, well, you better find a way to go. Sounds like he's interested. And I was like, I'm not going. I'm not going. Well, then that night I went to bed and I was like, okay, I guess I'll figure out. I'll figure it out. So fast forward, I end up going to youth conference. That guy walks up to me at Heritage with his now girlfriend. Uh and was like, Hi, I want you to meet so-and-so. And I was like, You are such a jerk. Us girls take that as, oh, they might be maybe he was just saying you should just go.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yes, and very likely. Very likely he was just saying, Oh, you would, you know, this is and that's exactly probably what was going on.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Just go hang out. It's a good conference. Not me. I was like, oh, he wants to talk. So all the way to the conference, I'm with friends, and I was, I'm never like this. I was a bald nerves. I was wrecked. Like I was shaking. I remember getting on the plane in New Orleans.

SPEAKER_05 38:39

About this guy.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

About this guy. I was getting on the plane in New Orleans and I was like, yo, I just don't know. Like, I'm not interested. I don't know if I can do this. Then he walks up and it was kind of like a sigh of relief, but also like, you're a jerk. Fast forward, and I was like, God, whatever. I'll just get everything I can out of the conference. And you're here. I'm here.

SPEAKER_05 38:58

Might as well.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Full disclosure, I never went to conferences for God. I went to meet people and see if I could find a husband. So you know. And so at that point, I was like, whatever. I'm like one of the older girls here. This guy I thought was interested. He's not. I guess I'll just soak up what I can from God, focus on that, and go home. And I don't, I don't remember a lot of details about that heritage, even though I should. But I remember it was very hot. The air wasn't working in that building. It was the last one. It's kind of a long story. I it was a hot service, Brother Ham was preaching, and I got to feeling really sick. So I walked up and got out. I never go out of church, but I was like, I cannot handle this. So I went and sat in the little four-year area, and I didn't know Valeria Giri at the time, but she was sitting there and I was talking with another girl, and we were just asking each other, like, are you dating? Where are you at in life? I was like this other girl. Yeah, this other girl. And she was like, No, I'm not. And I was like, Yeah, me either. It's just lovely being, I think I was 26. 26, 27. I was 27 when we met. So I was 27. I was like, I'm 27 and single, and I'm just dealing with it. Whatever. It's like, whatever. Well, Valerie overhears me and I briefly meet her, but I don't recall like talking with her. And there were other people there. So I think that was on Thursday morning. Friday in between services on Friday, I was very upset. And I was praying in my room, and all the girls that there were some younger girls with me, and I was the oldest one there, and they were all talking, chit-chatting just about guys and all this. And I was sitting on the bed crying. And I was like, God, I don't know why I'm here. Like, there's no one there. But maybe by chance, this is probably where I'm gonna get emotional. Maybe there's a guy or a man who will love me and treat me like a princess that's 30 and older, and he's not selfish.

SPEAKER_05 41:07

So you had some pretty specific asks there. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

And I was like, maybe, just maybe. And I just cried and I went on and I was like, but I'm just gonna go. I think Brother Dudley was preaching that night. Somebody, and I was like, I'm just gonna enjoy church. I really don't think anything's gonna happen. Literally, like 15 minutes later, I'm standing in the four year in the elegante, and Valerie, who I do not remember, walks up to me and was like, Hey, are you single?

SPEAKER_05 41:35

Which she already knew.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

But she already knew. And I just look at her, and my friend Ashland standing next to me, and I was like, I'm not doing this. Like, I'm I'm not even answering this question. And Ashlyn was like, Yeah, yeah, she is. And who would have looked at her and was like, I'm gonna kill you. Like, I'm whatever. And I was like, Yeah, I am. And Valerie was like, Well, there's this guy in our church that's interested. And I was like, In me? Like, what did this come from? It's like, okay, um, well, tell me about him. And she was like, Well, he's around 30 or so. I've always said he would treat his wife like a princess. No, and he's just a really good guy. And I was like, I said, I have one question and it's really random, but is he selfish? And she was like, No, he's like the least selfish guy I've ever met. And I was like, Okay, okay, um, okay, yeah, I'll meet him. And I was like, Oh, but can I see a picture first? Like all of this kind of went out the window when she said, like, exactly what I had prayed.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:44

Like no one knew that. And when she showed me his picture, I was like, sure, yeah. So she then looks at her watch and she's like, okay, I'll make sure y'all meet after church. Well, then I guess boldness just came over me and I was like, We got 30 minutes until prayer. So Oh, that's hysterical. Then she went and got him, and he came over and we met, and I shook his hand. And I will say the minute I shook his hand, I had peace. And I know people say, and you know, you know, whatever. I never believed that until I had that moment myself. And when I met him, shook his hand, and like looked at him in the eyes, I knew. I was like, this is my husband. Like, oh my god. It was kind of an unnerving feeling.

SPEAKER_05 43:30

Sure, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

But also, it just felt so right, you know. I knew he's from here and all that, and then it was a good church and it would be okay. But I was just like, this is my person. And so I we talked for a while, and all the girls came, took a picture, and all the stuff. We go to we go to church and I messaged a lady in our church um who has connections here, and I had messaged her. I was like, I don't know if you, but can you tell me anything about Jesse Aldrich? Like, I just met him and I sent her a picture of us talking after church. I checked my phone and it's like blown up with all these messages, and people are like, Well, you met Jesse, and he's a really good guy, and all this. Well, we end up, I don't remember in between church and the lock-in, but there's like a hangout time or whatever. People got sick. I knew he was a medic, but I didn't really put it together. So he was helping with people that were passing out and all this stuff. And so he comes to me. I finally find him. Like I went upstairs to walk around and I was overwhelming, and I was like, whatever. I don't know what's going on. There's too many people. I can't find them. He'll come find me. If he's still interested, he'll come find me. He comes and talks, and I think Kenny Franklin's with him because they're like making fun and calling Papa Jay. And I'm like, Why are you Papa Jay? Are you that old? And he's like, No, I'm, I think he was 30. And I was like, or 31. I was like, okay, well, so we talk for a while and he says, I have to leave because I have to drive the bus in the morning to drive all the kids home from here. So he's like, we can't talk. And this was probably like maybe an hour into the walk-in. And I was really bummed out. It's like, no, okay, well, I guess he's kind of interested. I don't, I don't know. And so he leaves, and I'm not feeling great. So I just sit down against the wall, take out my contacts, put my glasses on, and I'm just like, I'm just gonna sit here and probably just rest until all the kids are ready to go home and then whatever. And not probably 15 minutes later, he just walks back in and sits down beside me. And I was like, What are you doing here? You said you had to leave. He was like, Brother Garrett told me to come back in here. Oh, that's hysterical. I was like, Well, don't you have to drive the bus? He said, he said someone else can drive it. I need to come in. And from there we talked, and the rest is really history. The rest is history. But from July, we talked, we started, we met in July. He came in September. So we had like a waiting period. It was horribly long.

SPEAKER_05 46:07

It felt like July to September.

SPEAKER_02 46:09

I mean, I didn't have any words. I was texting Valerie every day. What is going on? You know, anyway, when you're in those moments, it feels long. So he comes to the church. He has a whole entourage there waiting on him, pasture bowling, and then we're standing in the four year of the gym, and it was like, oh hello, you know. But anyway, it went really great. And so we started talking in September officially, and he proposed that April. And we got married in August. So it was it was meant to be for sure.

SPEAKER_05 46:40

And Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:42

Now we're gonna tie it all back into the bitterness thing because you said it all kind of really think God changed it and God worked on my heart to realize what I went through wasn't normal growing up. You know, for a while I thought everyone's life was like that behind closed doors. You know. But yeah, I wasn't. But Jesse just showed me consistency and true love and treated me the right way. But also he treated my mom and my sister like a true gentleman, too. And so I was able to trust in that. I mean, I'll never forget the very first time I ever got into the vehicle, he like reached down, my dress was like hanging out of the car, and he like put it in the car, and I was like, no one's ever done that for me. Like I've never even thought about that. It made me feel very special.

SPEAKER_05 47:30

Made you feel like a princess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

And I was like, okay, wow. And then just many things, like I I can't really sp say one specific thing, but he just treated me the right way. And also he fit in with my friends and family, you know.

SPEAKER_05 47:47

Which is important.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

Which is important. The the other guy I had talked to, my friends were like, Hannah, I just don't think so. You know, he wasn't fun. Jesse was funny and all this. Just be himself. And so when they saw that side of him, and Pastor and Sister Bowling were like, look, we're impressed. This guy is, you know, good stuff. I felt safe. You know, then the first time I came here and visited Jesse, it felt like home.

SPEAKER_05 48:13

Yeah, what did you think of the church?

SPEAKER_02 48:15

It felt like home. That's really That's amazing. You know, and I can't say it's always felt like home since I've been here. Right now, I've had my time. And I still struggle with that, but definitely like the very first time I came, I called. I don't I think it was my best friend, Alina. I think I called her and I was like, I've never felt more comfortable visiting somewhere. Because normally you go somewhere and you're kind of on top of a little awkward, but because it's not home. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

It just felt right. Let's go back to you getting ready for your wedding. You had a major um catastrophe. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Yeah. Yeah. So that was all God um tell us about. So my house burned.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

Okay, so all this is going on. Yeah. You were saying even night before, still getting through bitterness.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

Still getting through the bitterness.

SPEAKER_05 49:10

All of that stuff is still going on.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

What I failed to mention is my mom is also very sick during this time.

SPEAKER_05 49:14

I thought so.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

In another hospital. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_05 49:18

Yeah, I seem to remember something about that.

SPEAKER_02 49:20

Yeah. So she was very sick. I was having to take a lot I think I had stopped working by this point. Yeah, I had. Um, because I had everything almost packed, ready to go, and trying to remember we were supposed to go on my trip to the beach with my bridesmaids. And my mom ended up going into the hospital for surgery, so I needed to be with her.

SPEAKER_03 49:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 49:45

So we had to rearrange that whole trip. She was very, very sick. Um, she got some better, got out, we rearranged our trip. We leave for our trip, everything's great, all this. While we're we went to the beach in Florida, it was our first night there. I woke up in the middle of the night to a phone call from our landlord. He was panicked. And the first thing he said when I answered the phone is, Where's Kelsey? Which is my sister. I was like, She's with me. Why? We're in Florida. He was like, Well, her car is here at the house. And I was like, She's here. Like, what's wrong? And he was like, Our house is on fire. And I like, could I mean I didn't know what to say? And I was like, Oh, oh my God, like, are y'all okay?

SPEAKER_05 50:32

So you and your sister were living in this house.

SPEAKER_02 50:34

We lived there. Yeah. So I failed to mention that. We hadn't moved out, we lived there. We'd probably been there for two, maybe three years. Okay. Um so she was with me. We were in Florida first night at the beach, and we got that phone call. My first concern was, are they alive? Are they okay? And he was like, Everyone's okay, but the dog is not here anymore, but everything's okay. And I was like, Well, is it all gone? And he was like, Yeah, it's a it's a total loss.

SPEAKER_05 51:04

And I was just dead as now you had everything's packed in there.

SPEAKER_02 51:09

Everything basically is packed.

SPEAKER_05 51:11

Now, when you say everything, wedding dress.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

Everything. My wedding dress was hanging on the back of my door. I remember it.

SPEAKER_05 51:19

Everything was there. And you get this call. And this was how long before the wedding?

SPEAKER_01 51:25

Two weeks, exactly. Two weeks before the wedding. Yeah. Two weeks before.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

And what did you have wedding gifts already there? I had some. I remember I had a very special one that Pastor and Sister Bowling gave us, and it just set us that was 2023, but it was the first wedding gifts we got. Right. They kindly replaced that later. But yeah, um, I had that. I had saved, I had shopped for months. I wanted to serve each guest a piece of cake on a different piece of China, and that would be their thing to take home. To take home. Their favor. And so we had all those we had just washed and packaged and had them all ready to go. But besides the wedding stuff, you know, we also I had a letter from my grandpa. He couldn't write, he'd written all that stuff. I we know my sister had all of her artwork, so everything we knew, any pictures that we had, all of that was gone, you know, and just to to wake up, and the wedding dress was the for me was the most devastating. Absolutely. No, the wedding dress story in itself was a miracle how I got it and all of that. Yeah, it was it was devastating, really messed up our trip, but we still tried to have a good time and enjoy the beach and all that. But come back, you know, I did not go to the to the site where the house was until Jesse came into town right before the wedding. I just couldn't process it. I couldn't go. Um, but I will say through all of that, I had the most amazing church family.

SPEAKER_05 53:03

Yeah, that's what I wanted to get at. So what happened?

SPEAKER_02 53:06

You know, people just rallied. They came out of nowhere. The community across the nation, really, people that I didn't even really know. You know, I was actually I was looking at the GoFundMe a few weeks ago and I was like, I don't even know half of these people. Like people just donated, churches donated, but our church in Brookhaven they were they were a blessing.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

Like there's there's being part of an apostolic church there is you can't put a price tag on what the church family truly means to each other.

SPEAKER_05 53:48

And you don't know it a lot of times until it's no time.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Something happens in life that rips the carpet out from underneath your feet. The church family is always there. Whatever you need, however you need it, whatever you that's that's something that is so it's one of those blessings from God that I I I don't think we always Well, you've experienced it there with the fire, you've experienced it since then with this church family here.

SPEAKER_02 54:22

That's very true. We've been through, I mean, you know, traumatic and Jesse and I always talk so Wednesday is our three-year anniversary. Like, who would have known that in the past four years? I mean, we've only known each other four years, you know. Yes, we've had traumatic things happen. You have. And you just ask God why. You know, but also you go through things and you realize through those things, number one, God proved faithfulness. He didn't have to, have to prove that he's faithful, but he did.

SPEAKER_04 54:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

He also always provides, even when it seems impossible. Yes. With the wedding, it was more beautiful than I ever imagined it would be. People donated things. A girl that I didn't know from anywhere drove to Arkansas and got her dress and let me wear it. Oh my god. You know, that was I remember that moment of trying on the wedding dress and my wedding director, Sister Stephanie, who was very instrumental in my life in many ways. I don't even think she really realizes it, but she was there. When I put the dress on, I just busted out in tears. Because number one, it wasn't my dress. But number two, it fit perfectly. I was gonna say, what was the fit like? It was perfect. It was a little bit big, but I mean, it was perfect and nothing had to be done to it. You know, and from that, and you know, Mama B just giving so, so much, people in the church taking wedding pictures, just stuff that normally would cost a family thousands of dollars that people donated and gave of their time and then of their money. And you know, while I started life with a very small closet, I remember coming here and it was my first Sunday, and I just looked at Jesse, I was like, I don't have nothing to wear to church. I don't even have church sheets, like I don't know what to do because I had been borrowing. Right. You know, and so all of it worked out, and you know, but through it all, it was hard. And you know, I still have moments where I think about things and it's emotional. Yes. But I really, you know, it's been three years since the fire, and I do remember those things, and they hurt that you don't have them anymore. But I remember more that through that, like it proved to me that the family of God is your true family. Yes. You know, that other maybe their blood family, they're not always there. But the people that love you and care for you the most are the people God has put in your life. Amen. That's exactly it. And that's who you go to when you need something. Amen. And I would encourage young people like take from your advice of leaders, like glean from their example and don't wish you would have later, you know, right. You know, do it now and benefit from that now rather than later. You know, I often and I refer to Pastor and Mama B a lot because that was my life for years and years, and I thank them for their handprints. You know, it was kind of like when you put a print on pottery, it stays there. Yes, you know, and that's how I feel about my life while I'm not still there and God has put me elsewhere. I still have those handprints and those things, and obviously to God be all the glory. But I do think and I hope that the situations I went through now have made me better and not better.

SPEAKER_05 57:55

So have we not is there something you wanted to talk about that we haven't talked about?

SPEAKER_02 58:00

I got the Holy Ghost when I was five. I got baptized when I was four. So I grew, you know, I've always grown up living for God. But I struggled with fear of the dark horribly. Like I was afraid. I wasn't afraid of monsters, I was afraid like the devil was in the dark. Okay. That's what I was scared of. But there was this book, it was called The Prayer Journey for Children. It was my sister Freddie Trammel. And she was my pastor, she was Pastor Bowen's pastor's wife years ago. Anyway, she has children's books, she's passed away now. But I remember reading that book and I would beg my mom, like, leave my light on until I was probably eight or nine. I was scared. And one night I remember telling her, like, you could turn it off. And my mom was like, Are you sure? And I was like, Yeah, you can you can turn it off. I prayed, I'm not scared anymore. Oh. And my mom, I remember her being like, Are you, are you sure? It's like, yes, just turn it off. And I remember having my Bible and that book and like laying in bed, and I was just holding it. Like, you know, I went to sleep, and it was the most peaceful sleep I remember as a child. I would just say that to encourage people in their walk with God, like, no matter where you are, whether you're a little child or you're a teenager or you're a young adult, waiting and wondering, like, God is there through all the things, from being scared in the dark to praying, you know, praying for the Holy Ghost to wondering, you know, why am why is the wait so long? That was my biggest, my biggest issue. Why is the wait so long? Why is the wait so long? But when, and I know I can it's easy for me to say now, but it's worth the wait.

SPEAKER_05 59:42

You've been listening to the Paths to Glory Podcast to contact us, send your emails to Paths to Glory Podcast at gmail.com. We all travel different paths, so it's important that we remember Proverbs 3, 5 through 6. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lead not unto your own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge him. Thank you for joining us.