The DVC Telethon: Two Aarons Reach for Disney Dreams

What lengths would you go to for permanent Disney magic? In this laugh-out-loud episode, we dive headfirst into Disney obsession through a brilliantly crafted parody telethon aimed at funding our Disney Vacation Club dreams.

We kick things off with a taste test of the "Over-Budget" cocktail from Lamplight Lounge—a perfectly named $19 concoction of vodka, passion fruit, lime, agave, and ginger beer that sets the stage for our financial fantasy. Then, channeling the spirit of old-school PBS pledge drives, we transform into earnest telethon hosts seeking $35,000 from generous listeners to secure 150 Disney Vacation Club points.

The comedy unfolds through a series of increasingly absurd segments: fictional special guest "DVC Guru Bunny Simpson" explains why DVC isn't just a timeshare but "a deed to happiness," while ventriloquist Jimmy and his puppet Giblet debate whether Disneyland is just "a parking lot with rides attached" compared to the sprawling marriage commitment that is Walt Disney World. We offer ridiculous pledge rewards ranging from heartfelt thank-yous with reverb effects to blank VHS tapes labeled with Sharpie markers.

What makes this episode special is how it lovingly satirizes Disney fandom while celebrating it. Our staged caller segments—featuring a "Disney indifferent" person transformed into a full-blown "Disney adult" through our podcast—captures the genuine emotional connection many feel toward these magical destinations, even as we poke fun at the financial gymnastics required to justify such expensive vacation commitments.

Whether you're a current DVC member, someone who's attended a sales pitch, or just curious about what drives people to invest tens of thousands in Disney vacations, this episode delivers laughs while exploring the powerful allure of being able to say "welcome home" when checking into your Disney resort. Join us for this uniquely hilarious journey to "the happiest timeshare on earth."

Transcript

Sipping an Over-Budget Cocktail

Speaker 1 0:00

Hello and welcome to Tears to Ears, where today we're sipping on an over-budget from the Lamplight Lounge. Yes, I love the Lamplight Lounge and I kind of like the over-budget, but anyway, it's made with vodka, passion fruit syrup, lime juice, agave, nectar and ginger beer and it's sold for $19.

Speaker 2 0:19

Seems like a little much Disney expensive.

Speaker 3 0:21

Yeah.

Speaker 2 0:21

Has a lot of ingredients, but it's only got one shot of alcohol. Yeah, interesting. So we did Tito's Vodka One shot of Tito's Vodka, half shot of Passion Fruit Puree, a couple of squirts of agave syrup, three quarters of an ounce of lime juice and then about three ounces of ginger beer poured over the top and mixed in at the end. And I think this is good and I hate ginger beer. You do.

Speaker 1 0:48

I was surprised you suggested well, because of the name of the drink is why you suggested it.

Speaker 2 0:53

Yes, but still you went with it anyway, because it had the lime passion fruit puree. The passion fruit works well with the ginger beer, so we had that pineapple mule, which ended up being very good, but we had that berry buckle, which was blackberry and ginger beer. That was terrible.

Speaker 1 1:15

But two good ginger beers. You're like one ginger beer away from liking ginger beers, I think. So yeah, I think it just depends One mule, I should say One mule away.

Speaker 2 1:24

What it gets mixed with, so pineapple or some citrus fruit like lime, the passion fruit, it's okay, but mixed with just blackberry muddled blackberries, yeah, it wasn't good.

Speaker 4 1:38

But this, this is actually it just wasn't good.

Speaker 2 1:40

This is actually quite tasty. It is, it surprised me. Good lime, good balance of sweet tart. You get a little bit of the ginger beer. It doesn't stand out real strong but like our last drink, it blends very well. Everything's blended. You can't taste alcohol, though this is not an alcohol-forward drink whatsoever.

Speaker 1 2:02

No, we're going to Lamplight in a few weeks. Don't know if we'll order. We probably won't order this, probably won't, but maybe if there's a second drink involved. But for $19 a second drink probably won't be involved. I'm just going back and forth with my own mind Spitballing here.

Speaker 2 2:16

Spitballing, but we will be eating at the Lamplight Lounge.

Speaker 1 2:19

We do have a reservation and, looking forward to that, we will be in the parks, right, and you're not going to want to miss those episodes. No, they're going to be crazy great.

Speaker 2 2:35

Yes, so and this leads us to, why are we doing an over-the-budget? Well, good evening ladies and gentlemen, friends, families and generous souls across this great nation. Welcome to the very special broadcast, the Cheers to Ears Disney Vacation Club Telethon that's right Tonight. For the next several minutes, you'll be treated to live entertainment, moving stories, surprise callers and heartfelt appeals, all dedicated to one noble cause helping Aaron and Erin achieve their dream of becoming proud Disney Vacation Club members. And Aaron achieved their dream of becoming proud Disney Vacation Club members.

The DVC Telethon Begins

Speaker 1 3:15

You know, folks, when public television first brought you pledge drives back in the day, it was to keep quality programming alive. Tonight, we're asking for something just as meaningful your support in helping two hardworking podcasters secure the magic of Disney, not for the day, not for the week, but for the decades to come.

Speaker 2 3:35

Think of it Two dudes named Aaron strolling down Main Street, usa, one carrying a churro, the other a Dole Whip, both comforted by the knowledge that their deluxe villa awaits them at the end of the day. That's the dream that you can make possible.

Speaker 1 3:51

And here's the best part when you call in tonight with your pledge, you're not just donating, you're joining a community, a community of people who believe in fast passes, in refillable resort mugs, in monorail views and fireworks from a private balcony. For just the cost of one premium character dining experience a month, you can help Aaron and Erin secure that magical deed, and your name will forever sparkle in the metaphorical plaque of their gratitude.

Speaker 2 4:18

So grab your phones, warm up your credit cards and get ready, because tonight isn't just a telethon, it's a journey, a journey to the happiest timeshare on earth.

Speaker 1 4:30

Stay tuned, stay generous and remember dreams come true earth.

Speaker 2 4:36

Stay tuned, stay generous and remember dreams come true, but only with your pledge. So, aaron, tell us what is your hope for tonight.

Speaker 1 4:46

So what we're looking for tonight is a simple 150 vacation points, and I'm looking at the Disneyland Hotel, and to make that possible, your total one-time cost is only $34,896. Possible your total one-time cost is only $34,896. That's just $434 a month Plus. The only additional costs are the annual dues of $1,474. That's for 150 points at the Disneyland Hotel. What about you, Aaron?

Speaker 2 5:05

So I'm looking to spend my time at Disney's Riviera Resort, at Disney World. For 150 points, for the low price of $34,495.11, I can spenda week at the most magical place on earth. Joining us now is a very special guest, the one, the only, the self-proclaimed DVC guru, bunny Simpson. Bunny, welcome to the telethon.

Speaker 4 5:34

Thank you, Aaron. It's magical to be here, and I don't just throw that word around unless it's on a $199 Dooney and Burke tote bag from the Emporium.

Speaker 2 5:43

Bunny people watching at home might be wondering why Disney Vacation Club, why not say a normal vacation like a beach house or camping?

Speaker 4 5:52

Oh, aaron, silly question. With DVC, you're not just buying a vacation, you're buying a lifestyle, a future, a deed to happiness, a legally binding contract that even your grandchildren can inherit, along with your old pin collection.

Speaker 2 6:08

So basically it's like buying a house, except the house is a one-bedroom villa that already smells faintly of Mickey waffles.

Speaker 4 6:16

Exactly. And think of all the perks Erin Free parking, discounts on popcorn buckets and the joy of saying oh, we're DVC members at parties Instant prestige.

Speaker 2 6:27

Bunny, I can feel the magic already.

Speaker 4 6:30

And let's not forget, buying DVC is the only investment that guarantees a return in character breakfasts.

Speaker 2 6:37

Folks, you heard it here first DVC, the dream that never depreciates emotionally. Call now, pledge big and let's get us a slice of that magic deed. And now's the time to start pledging big. So, Aaron, tell us what gifts our $10, $25, and $50 pledges gets our audience, Of course.

Speaker 1 6:57

Aaron, a $10 pledge gets you the magical. Thank you. This is a great one At this level. You'll receive our heartfelt gratitude spoken directly into the microphone, maybe even with reverb, because you deserve to feel the magic, so think. Thank you, christy, but for you, wow, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 7:15

For a $25 pledge, the commemorative autograph book. Oh, not an actual autograph book, but a loose-leaf binder with Aaron and Aaron's signatures written in blue ballpoint pen. Perfect for showing your grandkids one day. Nice, wow. And for a $50 pledge. This is a limited edition VHS tape. Yes, a genuine, blank VHS tape, clearly labeled in Sharpie Aaron and Aaron's Disney Dreams. No footage included, but you can tape your own Disney Channel previews at home.

Speaker 2 7:47

Wow, those are all great. What fantastic gifts, I know, for just a small pledge to our dream. Thank you for our team for coming up with these gifts.

Speaker 1 7:54

I know For just a small pledge that's great To our dream. Thank you for our team for coming up with these gifts. Thank you, audience.

Speaker 2 8:01

And while you're calling in with those pledges, let's move on to our first act. It's time for Jimmy O'Toole, the Ventriloquist, and his good friend Giblet.

Speaker 1 8:10

Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm telephone welcome to me and, of course, the real star of the show, my good friend Giblett.

Speaker 5 8:17

Now the show. Jimmy, I'm the only person on changing the channel to Antiques Roadshow.

Speaker 1 8:23

Now Giblett. Tonight's all about supporting Aaron and Erin in their quest for the Disney Vacation Club, and I thought what better way to celebrate than by talking about the most magical places on Earth Disney World and Disneyland?

Speaker 5 8:35

Disneyland you mean that parking lot with rides attached. Jim, don't insult Disneyland, hey, I'm just saying Disneyland's like your starter pack. Disney World is the deluxe expansion set.

Celebrity Guests and Pledge Gifts

Speaker 1 8:50

Well, they're both magical. Disneyland has the charm, the history, Walt's original vision and churros that taste like car tires.

Speaker 5 8:57

Meanwhile, disney World has four parks, two water parks, 30 hotels, three golf courses and 17 ways to get lost before you even find your room.

Speaker 1 9:09

Disneyland is intimate cozy, you can walk everywhere.

Speaker 5 9:12

Exactly Disneyland is like dating someone in college Cute, cozy, you can walk everywhere. Exactly. Disneyland is like dating someone in college Cute, fun, you can do everything in a weekend. Disney World that's marriage. It's big, complicated and you need a map, a stroller and a line of credit to survive.

Speaker 1 9:31

You know, gimlet, a lot of people argue over which is better.

Speaker 5 9:35

Oh, I know which is better. Oh really which? Whichever one has shorter life for Space Mountain. End of discussion. You're impossible. No-transcript. All right, all right.

Speaker 1 9:51

Before you get us banned from the parks, let's just say this Disney World and Disneyland are wonderful and, thanks to the ninth pledges, maybe Aaron and Erin can argue about them from the comfort of their own DVC villa.

Speaker 5 10:03

Yeah. So pick up the phone, people, Because the only thing scarier than the Haunted Mansion is those monthly DVC dues.

Speaker 2 10:12

Thank you, Jimmy and Giblet, for that hilarious take on Disney adventures.

Speaker 1 10:18

I think this would be a great time to go to our phone lines. Our first caller has a lovely story on how Cheers to Ears has been an influence on her life. Hello, you're live on the Disney Vacation Club telephone.

Speaker 3 10:30

Yes hi, I'd like to order two churros and a turkey leg for pickup, please.

Speaker 1 10:35

No, ma'am, this isn't the Disneyland food service. This is a Disney Vacation Club telethon.

Speaker 3 10:40

Great. So do I pick it up at the castle, or can Mickey bring it to my car?

Speaker 1 10:46

No, no, this is about raising funds for vacation ownership, not snacks.

Speaker 3 10:51

Oh, okay, got it. So how much is it for one to ride on Space Mountain?

Speaker 1 10:56

No rides. We're raising money to purchase Disney Vacation Club.

Speaker 3 11:00

But do the vacation points cover? Don't-whip refills Asking for a friend.

Speaker 1 11:05

Okay, well, we'll get back to you on all that. Thank you, caller, for that interesting take on Disney.

Speaker 2 11:13

You know, I think now would be a good time to let our listeners know what awaits them for their $100 and $250 pledges to the telethon Aaron. What awaits?

Speaker 1 11:22

Well, for $100, you can get the exclusive telethon tote bag. Every telethon has one, and so do we. This tote bag will probably hold a churro, a half-eaten Mickey pretzel and maybe even your emotional baggage, oh that's a big tote For you.

Speaker 2 11:39

it is.

Speaker 1 11:41

For a $250 pledge you get the Deluxe Resort Mug. It's just a mug, but if you close your eyes, sip some lukewarm coffee and hum when you Wish Upon a Star. It's basically refillable for life. And now, folks, we have a very special guest on our show. We have what every good podcast has All the time Is a good juggler. So tonight we have Skit the Juggler. Welcome him.

Speaker 2 12:04

Everyone Welcome. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, what you're seeing right now Is nothing short of breathtaking the scarves floating and dancing, almost as if Tinkerbell herself lent her pixie dust.

Speaker 1 12:20

Yes, aaron, three scarves. Count them. One, two, three, that's one more than two, and yet one less than four. A true mathematical marvel.

Speaker 2 12:31

Oh, the crowd goes wild. Was that a planned drop?

Speaker 1 12:34

Aaron, of course it was. You see, in juggling, sometimes failure is the success. Much like trying to get a Rise of the Resistance boarding group.

Speaker 2 12:44

Rubber chickens. Do you see this? We've gone from elegance to poultry.

Speaker 1 12:49

This is true performance art, aaron, high stakes. If he draws one, we may never emotionally recover.

Speaker 2 12:54

He's not just juggling. He's becoming the chicken.

Speaker 1 12:59

He's going for four. Nobody even asked for this. This is hubris. This is Dumbo flying without the feather.

Speaker 2 13:07

I have no words. That wasn't juggling, that was poetry.

Speaker 1 13:11

And folks, if that level of artistry moves even half as much as it moved us, then please pick up the phone and pledge, Because with her help, Erin and I could be juggling Mickey bars in our very own Disney Vacation Club villa.

Speaker 2 13:25

So let's check in with a couple more callers.

Speaker 1 13:28

Welcome back to the Cheers to Ears telethon. You're live on the air. Who's calling?

Disney World vs. Disneyland Debate

Speaker 6 13:32

Hi, this is Gerald, first time caller, long time sipper, thanks to you two.

Speaker 1 13:38

Oh boy, Gerald, sounds like you discovered our research method.

Speaker 6 13:41

Funny story I never really drank before your podcast, but then you started talking about apu lapus and pineapples and margaritas in the Mexican pavilion. And now let's just say, my ice maker finally feels useful.

Speaker 1 13:55

We love that. Just to be clear, you're enjoying reasonably right.

Speaker 6 13:58

Oh, totally. I'm not a heavy drinker, just a Disney cocktail enthusiast. My doctor says my liver is fine, but my wallet's on thin ice. Same, Gerald, same. So anyways, I just wanted to donate to you guys, because if anybody deserves a Disney Vacation Club Villa, it's the two of you.

Speaker 1 14:15

I mean, you brought so much joy into my evenings and occasionally into my mornings when I forget what day it is. Gerald, you're the dream caller. Thank you so much for supporting our very noble cause. Us sipping cocktails on a DVC balcony.

Speaker 6 14:28

Hey, man, as long as you promise to raise a glass for me on that balcony, preferably something with an umbrella in it. Thanks for calling.

Speaker 2 14:36

Hello caller. What's your story you'd like to share?

Speaker 3 14:40

Well, Aaron and Aaron, I'll be honest, I used to be what you'd call Disney indifferent. I thought it was just for kids, just cartoons, castles and the occasional mouse in red shorts.

Speaker 2 14:53

We've all known people like that. A tragic condition.

Speaker 3 14:57

But then I found your podcast Cheers to ears. At first I thought, oh, it's just two guys talking about churros. But then, episode by episode, it happened, I changed.

Speaker 2 15:10

Tell us more. What do you mean changed?

Speaker 3 15:13

I started small A Mickey mug from Target, a casual ride-through or two on YouTube. But then I bought a Disney Lounge fly backpack. I wore it to work and I didn't even care what my co-workers thought A breakthrough. And last week I used my vacation days all of them to book a solo trip. That's right me alone crying during Happily Ever After while clutching a $14 pretzel shaped like Mickey. I've become a Disney adult.

Speaker 2 15:48

That's beautiful, from indifference to immersion.

Speaker 3 15:56

All thanks to Cheers to Ears. Without you I'd still be at home watching normal TV, but now I'd argue about Disney Plus strategies on Facebook groups with total strangers. I own three spirit jerseys I can't afford. I'm budgeting for DVC.

Speaker 2 16:10

Folks, this is the magic. Your pledges make possible Real transformations. Real lives changed.

Speaker 3 16:17

So please support these men, Because if they can turn me from Disney indifferent into Disney devoted, just imagine who they can reach next.

Speaker 2 16:27

So, wow, we've really had an exciting evening. But, Aaron, why don't you tell us what gift our top-tier supporters will receive for their pledges of $500 and $1,000. So for $500,.

Speaker 1 16:41

This is probably the biggest gift of the night. It's the Cheers to Ears home game. And I mean every great show has a home game. The Price is Right home game. The Cheers to Ears home game. Let me. The Price is Right home game. The Cheers to Earth home game. Let me tell you about it because this is huge. Finally, a game as chaotic, magical and questionably structured as the night at Trader Sam's.

Caller Stories and Transformations

Speaker 1 17:00

After three back-to-back a-ohas inspired by the podcast Cheers to Ears, where two guys raise a glass and ramble their way through the wonders and weirdness of Disney, this home game brings that same mix of trivia tangents and tipsy nonsense to your living room. But beware, this isn't your average Disney party game. It's silly, it's complicated, it's borderline unplayable. And that's exactly the point. Inside you'll find impossible Disney trivia Questions so obscure. You'll wonder if we made them up, spoiler, we probably did.

Speaker 1 17:26

Ridiculous challenges. Sing your favorite Disney song in your worst character impression. Narrate Fantasmic and it's a cooking show, or retell the plot of the Black Cauldron from memory While holding your drink with oven mitts. The chaotic rule cards. At any moment the game can flip on its head. Maybe everyone has to answer in Mickey voice. Maybe you can only speak in Disney ride puns. Maybe you're suddenly in charge of leading the toast in every turn. And the goal? That's cute. That's cute because there is no goal to this game. The real prize is surviving the game with your dignity, your drink and your Dig Disney knowledge in hand. So get the home game for only a $500 pledge, wow.

Speaker 2 18:02

Isn't that amazing? That is amazing. I know as if that could be topped. What about the $1,000 pledge?

Speaker 1 18:08

Yeah, you think it can't be topped. For the $1,000 pledge, you could be a founding member of Aaron and Aaron's DVC legacy. Oh Wow, founding member At this elite level, your name will be forever spoken aloud during fireworks viewing in Aaron and Aaron's future DVC villa balcony every single night, whether you want it or not.

Speaker 2 18:30

That's a list we will carry close to our hearts. I mean, that makes me emotional. It does. It does Just thinking about it. Friends, tonight you've seen laughter, you've seen juggling, you've seen dreams take shape before your very eyes. But the dream isn't finished yet.

Speaker 1 18:50

No, aaron, not until you yes, you, sitting at home decide to stand with us, because without your pledge, we're just two Aarons wandering aimlessly through the all-star sports food court, clutching refillable bugs, with no villa to call our own.

Speaker 2 19:06

Every day, countless vacationers are forced to check out at 11 am. Imagine the heartbreak, packing up, waiting for the magical express bus that doesn't even exist anymore. But you can change that.

Speaker 1 19:20

You can give us late checkout For just dollars a day less than the cost of one turkey leg or half a pair of sequined mini ears. You can help Aaron and me secure the deed to our Disney future.

Speaker 2 19:33

And with that deed comes hope. Hope of a monorail sliding silently past our balcony. Hope hearing welcome home at check-in. Hope of free laundry in the villa.

Speaker 1 19:45

Folks, we can't do this without you. Don't let these dreams fade like the paint on Tomorrowland Speedway. Pledge now. Do it for the magic, do it for the errands, do it for Disney and with that folks cheers, cheers.