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We Mansplain Disney Trips With A Tiramisu Martini
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Disney parks are supposed to feel effortless, but anyone who has stared down a two-hour standby line knows the truth: a great Disneyland or Walt Disney World day is built, not stumbled into. We kick things off with a tiramisu martini inspired by Disney dining (vanilla vodka, Bailey’s, Kahlua, espresso, cream, and cocoa) and then we commit to the bit: “mansplaining Disney” with the most useful, overly specific advice we can muster.
We get into real Disney trip planning strategy that saves time and money without turning your vacation into misery. Think rope drop priorities, why traditional meal times are a trap, and how to use crowd flow to your advantage. Then we dig into rides, from can’t-miss experiences like Rise of the Resistance to classic staples like Haunted Mansion and Space Mountain, plus the practical stuff people forget to ask: How do Lightning Lane, standby, and single rider really work for your group, and where should you sit for the best ride experience?
Food gets the same treatment. We talk best bang-for-your-buck Disney snacks, what’s actually worth buying, and why some iconic items (hello, blue milk) are less about taste and more about doing the things at least once. We also cover what to pack for a park day, from sunscreen timing and blister prevention to ponchos, hydration, and the simple mindset shift that keeps your day on track: plan, pivot, and do not go full meltdown when the plan changes.
If you laughed, learned something, or disagreed with our churro takes, subscribe, share the show with a Disney friend, and leave us a review. Then send us a comment or a text and tell us your #1 rule for surviving a Disney day.
Tiramisu Martini Taste Test
SPEAKER_03Today we're going to mansplain Disney to you. We'll join a terrama too martini from Viennapolite. Welcome to Tears Tears.
SPEAKER_00We'll be old-fashioned, Manhattan. We'll talk that too. From future land to the wild frontier. It's Disney talk on Tier Stuart.
SPEAKER_03Okay, we are back. We are back in action with another drink from Bienapoli. We've almost tried all of them, I think.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Biennappoli, we've tried four or five of their drinks. They've all been great.
SPEAKER_03But don't spoiler alert, we haven't talked about this one yet.
unknownJust kidding.
SPEAKER_02Now we're good. That leads us into this one.
SPEAKER_03This is a terasu martini, and it's made with vanilla vodka, Bailey's, Kahlua espresso, cream, and cocoa, and it's $18.
SPEAKER_02And we did, well, another Disney middle of the road.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So we did an ounce and a half of Veil Vanilla vodka, one ounce of Bailey's, one ounce of Kahlua, one ounce of espresso, a three-second pour of Hershey's syrup for the cocoa, and then we did one ounce of half and half. Shaken, not stirred. And oh boy, is this good. And it does. It tastes like tiramisu.
SPEAKER_03Yes, as Erin's already told you, this one's actually good drink. It's a very good drink.
SPEAKER_02So we have the cold brew martini, long, one of our first drinks. And we I think we've had that actually a couple times. Very close to this, but this one's I think a little bit better.
SPEAKER_03I don't maybe. Well, I think we should go side to side.
SPEAKER_02We need to do a standoff, a cost comparison. But this one is really good. Espresso martini steel cage match. Steel cage match. This is a sit there in the evening.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02This is very dessert. This is dessert drink. So creamy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's that coffee, it's like a coffee milkshake.
SPEAKER_02It really is.
SPEAKER_03I know.
SPEAKER_02It does have that chermasu taste to it, you know, with the coffee and the chocolate and the creaminess. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's like whatever the coffee milkshake they serve at Burgerville.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03And if you're not for the Pacific Northwest, you're missing out.
SPEAKER_02If they threw vodka in the coffee milkshake.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02Because there is that alcohol taste to it. But like and like when we were making this, I said this then. Disney can make a heck of a martini. We've only been upset once, saddened. Three strikes, you're out. The caramelized leak martini, terrible. Terrible. Terrible. But everything else, cold brew martini, the key lime pie martini, the grapefruit cake martini, this one. We invented the churro martini for one of our episodes. I think we've done some other ones too. They've all been great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03They've all been great.
SPEAKER_02They do a very good martini at Disney.
SPEAKER_03This is right up there. We need to do a best martini episode. I think so. Something like that. Something like that. We can do a martini flight. There you go. I wonder if we can find little martini glasses.
SPEAKER_02We need to do a martini flight. Have a cold brew, have tiramasu, the key lime pie martini, have the grapefruit cake martini. Yeah, just sip them all and see what we like best. Yeah, from light to dark. There we go. Anyway.
SPEAKER_03From grapefruit to coffee. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Great drink. Great drink. Viennapoly is on the list of must-do for the next trip because all of these drinks have been great. I've heard great things about their pizza. Yeah, it is my next trip. It will be Vienna. It will be a reservation.
SPEAKER_03It needs
What Mansplaining Looks Like Here
SPEAKER_03to happen.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I'm putting you on the spot for a second.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Can you mansplain the martini?
SPEAKER_02Well, it's what the regular martini, the the traditional martini. You changed your voice. Is what James Bond had. Shaken, not stirred. Ours was shaken as well, but it also is a tiramisu martini. So it's about the most feminine martini you could probably think of.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_03That brings us into our episode of the city. But we want to main Disney TV. Today this episode is for the ladies. For the ladies.
SPEAKER_02We want to mansplain Disney.
SPEAKER_03So what I did, what I did for this episode is I did rides, foods, okay, and then trip planning. And I mansplained different things about it in the best way I could. I don't know. Yeah. I don't think I'm really a maner. I don't think I am. I don't know. I'm sarcastic. Does that count?
SPEAKER_02No. It's I think mansplaining is definition. There's some useless facts that that are happening when mansplaining is being done. We will tell you all the details that you never wanted to know because we think you need to know them.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02You know, I I approached it with correcting people's mistakes.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02It's over-explaining things. I think a lot of it is just over-explaining things that people don't want to explain.
SPEAKER_03I think I might have done that.
SPEAKER_02I think that that is the gist of it.
SPEAKER_03We'll see if I even mansplain anything. We'll see.
SPEAKER_02But I have at the end a bunch of useless facts. Okay. You know, to mansplain them would be to stop what we're doing as I explain this whatever to you, this fact, and then we can proceed. Oh, okay. But you need to hear this. You need to hear this information.
SPEAKER_03That there's a there's a basketball court in the matterhorn.
SPEAKER_02And the best way, yes, yes, that's on here. Is it?
SPEAKER_03Yes, that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So I started out, and let me just kick this off.
Rope Drop And Meal Timing Strategy
SPEAKER_02I'll just say so the day we'll be planned for maximum efficiency. And a man will explain to you what's an efficient day at Disney because it's best to get your dollars worth. I think that's a guy thing. Yeah. The efficiency.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02You know, not that women couldn't be efficient, but I think we get a little more obsessed with it. I want to do the most efficient day possible because that means I'm getting a lot done.
SPEAKER_03I want to get the most of my money.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's talking about rope dropping. You want to have the most efficient day. This is how you should be doing it. You need to rope drop, and I think there's a lot of you need. You need. You need to rope drop the rides. You need to save your shows until mid-afternoon. And your meals need to be spaced throughout the day to maximize your experience. So you might not eat first thing in the morning because you got things to do. You might have to grab something quick on the go. And then also to do Disney the most efficient way possible, you can't be eating at peak meal times. You're not eating at noon lunch. I agree with that. You're eating at meals at like 11, or maybe even 10 45. You're having an early lunch because you had a very skimpy breakfast or didn't eat breakfast at all. And so that's breakfast. But it's when nobody else is because everybody else then breaks and goes have has lunch or dinner, you're going to be on those rides. You're going to be maximizing that time because you know. And just to explain this to you, this is true. I'm man splaining it to you. During mealtimes, traditional mealtimes, like from noon to one, people are getting lunch. So they aren't going on rides. So it's really crowded in the restaurants, and it's not as crowded on the rides. So just a man splain it to you. That's when you need to be going on rides, not having lunch. So by 11:30, you should you should be done eating and standing in line for tianas or or whatever. That's just the way it is. So what do you got here?
The Rides You Cannot Skip
SPEAKER_03So I got I got a little explanation of the rides. Okay. Okay, so I started okay, sweetie. Okay. I thought that would work. Yeah. For the conversation. Okay, sweetie. You're lucky I'm here because apparently Disney parks are very complicated. I know you're probably I know you've probably been wasting all your time having fun in the parks instead of creating an 80-page spreadsheet of your day. Mm-hmm. So let me explain how to have fun correctly. Yes. You must ride these rides, and if you're not getting up at 5 30 a.m. to get to the parks, are you even trying?
SPEAKER_02Preach.
SPEAKER_03That's it's just like an Olympic that's like an Olympic event with mouse ears after all. That's what this is. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, come on.
SPEAKER_025 30 a.m. get up.
SPEAKER_03Get up.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Be ready to go out the door by 5 45.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03If you're not, you're not even going to Disney.
SPEAKER_02We're not putting on our shoes at 5 45. We're walking out the door.
SPEAKER_03You better be ready. And so then I just have a bunch of rides. Do you have rides at all?
SPEAKER_02I did not. Oh, you don't? I have some advice on rides.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02I have general advice on how to best do Disney.
SPEAKER_03So I'm gonna give you some rides? Sure, go ahead. Rise the resistance. This is not just a ride, it's an experience. It's a lifestyle. It's basically the reason that Walt Disney invented electricity in the first place. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. If you skip it, congratulations. You just been passed over you just passed over a hundred bucks to walk around looking at looking at themed trash cans.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You don't want that.
SPEAKER_03No, if you didn't ride Rise, then I got Haunted Mansion. Ready for Haunted Mansion?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03People will try to tell you this ride is dated. These people also think ketchup is spicy. Mm-hmm. This is a masterpiece. If you don't appreciate this, I'll assume your favorite movie is cats. Probably is. Yeah, if you're not gonna cats.
SPEAKER_02Do you want to give us something now before I go into when you're mansplaining, you're correcting the mistakes people make in both your group and the ones you overhear from strangers waiting in line.
SPEAKER_03I like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. It's there's a lot of that progressive commercial becoming your parents. There's a lot of that. You know, you overhear some known, we'll just call it a miss misbelieved fact about maybe about Walt. Okay. Yeah. That, you know, you say something about the picture and he he always had the two-finger point. You've got to clarify that. No, no, it's he was holding a cigarette when he was pointing, and they photoshopped the cigarette out. You have to tell people that you gotta get it correct. Correct is what's best.
SPEAKER_03So pure line, like I just did, isn't mansplaining when I said Walt invented electricity.
SPEAKER_02Well, that could be if you're that's mansplaining to your children because that's fun to just kind of be extra kid. But people, you know, because it's the belief people appreciate knowing the facts.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02And what's what's correct.
SPEAKER_03They like to be told the facts constantly by somebody.
SPEAKER_02They need to they want to be corrected so that they get it right. Everybody wants to get it right. Yeah, people love to be corrected, and the man there is just ready to do that for you. He's ready to help you out. You know, another thing is after the rides, because you're gonna talk you'll talk about some other rides, uh-huh. But after the completing, you're gonna give it a five to ten minute oral thesis on the score. You're gonna score that ride and then explain why. So we'll say Expedition Everest, Animal Kingdom. Okay, it's a solid nine. That is a solid nine. You know why it's a solid nine?
SPEAKER_03Why is that?
SPEAKER_02Well, because it's got thrills and it's got a great cue, and it's got I didn't know that after I just went on it too. Yeah, and it's it's got a great cue, but and you agree with me, of course, that it's a nine. Now, the only drawback is if you have a little bit more sensitive stomach, it might be hard. That's why it's not a perfect 10. In my book, it's a perfect 10. But uh, but I'm a I'm willing to make some allowances for others, but it is a nine because it's got a great cue, it is a great thrill ride, and there's lots to see on the ride. It's a great ride, and I will go on and on the same thing and on telling you all about this about every single ride.
SPEAKER_03Nobody just the you already did it.
SPEAKER_02Navi River Journey Journey. Yes, they saw the same things you did. It's a three. It was that was too short.
SPEAKER_03You're telling them the things they just saw.
SPEAKER_02Sure, it was fun to look at, but boy, that was short.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02That can't be high be higher than three, maybe a four on a right.
SPEAKER_03Like on a credit coaster, there's a loop. There's a loop. It loops. It loops. You're it's like your jackjack when you're on the ride. Exactly. You didn't know this, I'm telling you. So that's funny.
SPEAKER_02Why don't you explain a few of these rides for our listeners who need to understand what these rides are about? So Space Mountain.
SPEAKER_03This is what a roller coaster should be. Launch you into complete darkness where your knees repeatedly make you question your life choices. This is fantastic. Yeah. That's what I have for that. Big Thunder Mountain. It's basically a runaway train with brakes because Disney's lawyers exist. It is, yeah. See, might are more sarcastic and maybe not totally mansplaining. I don't know if I totally got the assignment, but I think I have some in here. Tiana's Bayou Adventure. People will tell you that they are here for the story. This ride's basically here for just for making some sorry. People tell you they're here for the story. This ride's basically here for a group gesture for a photo op on the drop.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's basically the whole ride. That is the whole ride. That's all you go on it for. And there's no story. No. You don't need to go on there. That's all you're doing is dropping, right? Just dropping. Yeah. Like all these rides are amazing. All the rides at Disney are amazing. Why'd you even question a ride at Disney and say it's not good?
SPEAKER_02Except for Small World.
SPEAKER_03Like asking what your favorite ride is at Disney is like asking someone what their favorite oxygen is.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that's what I have for rides.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
Sunscreen Queue Rules And Best Seats
SPEAKER_02You know, something that you need to understand is why sunscreen is important. Because if you don't put it on that first line, of course, everyone knows why it's important.
SPEAKER_03But go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Because it's it'll ruin your the rest of your trip. You're you're out two days of being miserable if you let yourself get sunburned. But the problem is, people, when you're going to the park, you're good at this, you're putting it on incorrectly. And I, as a redhead, and as a man who can explain this to you, will tell you how to properly don your sunscreen. You do not bring the can of sun spray on sunscreen in line and put it on at the last minute before going into the parks. No. Shower, get ready, and as you're dressing, you put it on your face, your arms, if you're wearing shorts, you put it on your legs. You do it before you even leave the hotel room. That's what it gives it time to absorb into the skin. And technically, you're supposed to put it on two coats. That way, if you've missed a spot, see if you're waiting for in line, you're you're rushed. You're gonna miss a spot. And so you're gonna have that burnt red streak going down the side of your face. Sorry, people, that's wrong. That's not how you do sunscreen. So take it from me. Do it in the morning when you've got a mirror at the hotel room, put your sunscreen on, give it time to absorb. You'll be you'll thank me later. I put on sunscreen one time and I'm good all day. If you knew what you were doing, you could too. Let me explain to you how a cue works. So we'll take radiator springs. We'll go we'll go with radiator springs. Before we get on the ride, I want to tell you to the right is the standby line. Okay, anybody can get in that line whenever they want. Your whole group, get in that line. But it's gonna be longer. See the time up there that says two hours. Okay, next to that is the lightning lane. Now, that won't have a time of how long it takes lightning lane, but it's much shorter. And you can still stay in your group, but you got to buy those ahead of time. Next to that is the single rider line. That at most will take you about 30 minutes, probably. Depends on how long the line is. Now, the downside is your group's being broken up. You won't be able to ride with your friends. There's always that one mom and her child who doesn't understand that. They flip out and they want, oh, my baby needs to come with me on the ride. Sorry, ma'am, that's not how this works. It's a single rider line. Does she listen? No. So I, as a man, before we get in line to Radiator Springs, I'm going to explain to you how the lines work. And don't even we're not even going to get into cutting the queue. No. You get in line, you're in the back of the line, and you stay in your spot. There's no advancing up to your group. No, just stay in line. That's how the queue works. And that's how the multiple, the single rider works, the standby line, the lightning lane line. They're all different lines. There's pros and cons to all of them. But you need to learn that. Check the app.
SPEAKER_03You're so good at this. Now, you're creepily natural at this.
SPEAKER_02Really good at mansplaining things. Okay. Now, I want to also tell you about rides. There's the best place to sit on all these rides. And you need to know this. If you ride Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disneyland, not Magic Kingdom, it's different. You want to sit in the back rows. When you see the goat, keep your eyes on the goat and turn your body so that you follow the goat. You'll thank me later. If you're riding, let's say Guardians of the Galaxy, Cosmic Rewind at Epcot, rows eight and nine. Actually, rows five to nine. You want to sit in the middle because you get the best view of all the action. You know, there's a lot of times you want to sit in the back row of a roller coaster because it pulls you over those hills. You know, you got to think about that. There's always a best place to sit on these rides. Ask a cast member. They're there for you. You need to do that.
SPEAKER_03I have diet over here.
SPEAKER_02So last one I want to bring up. Which snacks are the best bang for your buck?
SPEAKER_03Now
Snacks That Feel Worth It
SPEAKER_03foods are my next thing I have.
SPEAKER_02I will just flat out say churros are not the best bang for your buck. They might be good. I'm losing here. You're losing me here. But they're not the best bang. Well, would you say that you like them, but are they the are they the best bang for your buck?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, how much are they? Five bucks?
SPEAKER_02Five bucks.
SPEAKER_03Big old long churro?
SPEAKER_02Dough and cinnamon? Or something that if you step two blocks out of the park, it cut you a dollar. Now, beignets, that's a different story. Maybe some ice cream. A little bit more. Jack Jack's num num. You know, you want your best bang for your buck. You can only have one snack. Well, you should probably only have one snack. You might have three or four. Who knows? But if you're gonna only get one snack, you want the best snack for your dollar. And churl churls just aren't it. You gotta think about these things. You gotta plan ahead. Do it, people. Come on. You need to have, I'm trying to help you have the best time in the park that you possibly can. Just listen to me. I'm mansplaining it.
SPEAKER_03So good.
SPEAKER_02So why don't you explain us some food?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, I'm like, I'm gonna do it anyway because I'm here with you, but you're killing it. I shouldn't even talk. I feel like I should just like ask you questions, you mansplain things to me because yeah, I've not even come close. I don't even know how to do this now. So I have foods are my next thing I have. Yeah. First off, if you walk in the parks and order a burger, you've already lost. Congratulations. Yeah. You just wasted a bunch of miles, you just traveled a bunch of miles to eat something from your local movie theater. Yeah. Dole whip. Yes, you are getting a dole whip. Oh, yeah. And you're going to eat it while watching a show at the tiki room. Best bang for your buck. That's all I have to say about that. Yeah. That's what you have to.
SPEAKER_02Popcorn, not the best bang for your buck.
SPEAKER_03Mickey pretzel. Yeah. Objectively, it's fine. Spiritually, though, it's amazing. True. Because it's shaped like Mickey. Yeah. Disney can make a goofy toast and sell it for $14.99, and it would become an immersive experience.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Churros. Here's my here's my other one I went with false history.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03When Walt Disney invented the churro on a trip to Mexico in 1948, it was culinary history that eventually made its way into the parks.
SPEAKER_02Dad explaining right there. Dad splaining. That's dad splaining. The corndog. Yeah. If you know, you know. If you know you know.
SPEAKER_03Disney basically turned a hot dog on a stick into a destination dining experience. And you have to have it. You do. You have to have it. Try to get any top Michelin star chef in the world to beat the Disney corn dog.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean the park should get a Michelin star. It's, I mean, that that fried corn dough, the hot dog, that's perfection. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I have blue milk, because you don't love blue milk, right? Not really. Oh, blue milk, you're gonna get a blue milk when you're in the park. Especially if you're first time to either studios or Disneyland. Yeah. You're buying a blue milk because only half the people actually like a blue milk.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03But other than the people love the picture they have of them with a blue milk. Exactly. Yeah, so you're buying a blue milk.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And I will say that that you know, to have the best time at Disney. Let me explain this to you. Here he goes again. To have the best time at Disney, you've got to do the things. A blue milk is one of the things. I do not like a blue milk. You don't. But I will get a picture of me with a blue milk because that's one of the things. And to have the best Disney trip possible, you gotta do the things.
SPEAKER_03Right. One of my favorite pictures of me and my son Eli is the opening of Galaxy's Edge with a blue milk. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Now, churro, not my thing, but it's one of the things.
SPEAKER_03But Disney, Walt Disney invented it.
SPEAKER_02But it's it's one of the things.
SPEAKER_03Walk in Walt's footsteps.
SPEAKER_02You gotta do at some point. While I'm not a fan of the churro, I have bought a churro at Disney. Yeah, oh yeah. Because it's one of the things, and you gotta do one of the things. You gotta do all the things at some point. It might not be every trip, but on some trip, at some point, you gotta do all the things. See, your churro is my turkey leg.
SPEAKER_03I've tried a turkey leg.
SPEAKER_02Well, I've only had one myself. Never have it again. I probably won't either. There's no reason. It's too messy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there's no I don't see the any point behind it at all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Personally, I don't get it.
SPEAKER_02Now the only the only reason to get a chur turkey leg because of how it's one of the okay, you have to because it like as we just explained, it's one of the things. So at one point, if you're gonna go multiple, you gotta you gotta get a turkey leg. Better if you're in a big big group, because you can each take a little chunk and there you go.
SPEAKER_03Or you can all buy turkey legs and do a Viking picture.
SPEAKER_02There you go. But if you're local, let me man explain this to you. Make your man happy, buy a churro or a turkey leg, take it home, turn it into soup. Had a friend who mentioned this, that she did that. She would get a turkey leg, and the next day she would make soup out of it.
SPEAKER_03So they packaged it for you? No, she'd just get it in the little baggie. Right before she left?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right before she left, she'd grab a turkey. Grab one on the way out of the parks and she would make she would make soup out of it. There you go. That's that is the probably the only acceptable way of getting them multiple times.
SPEAKER_03If you're a DVC member, grab on the way back to the room. Yeah. And you can make some soup in your room.
SPEAKER_02You can make some soup in your room.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If you've got one of the little kitchenettes.
SPEAKER_03Right. The kitchen. But you got to do the things. Right. Did you do trip planning too? Trip planning.
Packing Smarter For Park Days
SPEAKER_03You have for mansplaining.
SPEAKER_02Now, trip planning, it's now there is some aspects now that you mention it. Because you got to pack correctly. Now, it's a little more forgiving if you're going to Disneyland, I think, because the hotels are somewhat close. You're not going to kill two hours traveling back and forth to your hotel on a bus. You might walk across the street. So Disneyland Disney World, you need to have your crossbody bag. You need to have your moleskin. You need to have your water bottle.
SPEAKER_03Your umbrella.
SPEAKER_02You need to have your umbrella, your poncho. You have to have an umbrella or poncho. Or both. Or both. Preferably both. Just in case. You can't. You can't believe it.
SPEAKER_03We were both.
SPEAKER_02Now can't believe it. Your hydration packets. So your what is it? Like element is one. But your electrolyte little packets. You gotta have those. In especially in Disney World. Disneyland, not so much. But these are all the things that need to go into your bag. Now, I will tell you a little information for you. Let me explain it to you. Man, explain it. Now, if you get a blister, if you get a headache, if you get anything else, something like that, maybe you need some Tums. Go to the first aid center.
SPEAKER_03They have Tums.
SPEAKER_02They have Tums, they have ibuprofen, aspirin. They have moleskin.
SPEAKER_03I don't think they have ibuprofen and aspirin. Oh, they do. What did I have to go get? Oh, no, they don't have Tums. They do not. I had to go buy it. At Disneyland, they do not have Tums. I thought I forgot to take my medicine. Yes, I remember that. I went there and they said no, you can go to the right eight on the corner.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. Maybe I was in Disney World and I got some. But moleskin. Now I say bring your mole skin, but they have mole skin available to you. That's a great thing to have. There's you need to have your stickers for your podcast, your Cheers Years podcast to give away in your crossbody bag. But yeah, you just you need to be prepared. And you need to pack right. You need to have your dop kit so that you have all your toiletries. But not overpacked because you know that they have the best shampoo and body wash at Disney. That H2O stuff is great. You're smelling good. And that's what's important. Governments are smelling good.
SPEAKER_03I feel like in the Christmas story, the bully guy. Scut Farcus? He has his lackey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Groverdill.
SPEAKER_03I feel like you're mansplaining lackey. Like you're saying the things I'm like, yeah, yeah, my yeah, that's how it is.
SPEAKER_02You're the Groverdale for my Scut Farcus. Yeah.
unknownHe's right.
SPEAKER_02You're smelling good. So hey, these are important things to me.
SPEAKER_03Right. So my last thing is planning your trip. Yeah, okay. Okay. If you do not plan, if you don't put the same amount of time planning your Disney trip as NASA does on an average launch, yeah, your trip will not be successful. Nope. There's no way. You can never say we're just gonna wing it when we go on our trip. Man, don't wing it. You'll be standing the same line for two hours with the other 40,000 people who plan the same way you did.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Don't wing it. Plan have some kind of plan. You don't have to have an exact bit-by-bit plan, but do not have some kind of plan when you let go.
SPEAKER_02Now I would say that typically Disney is a as and we say this a lot because you are the Disney adult and your wife is not. Correct. And that is a polar opposite of most couples. Way different. Now, but you do it different. And why? Because you're a man. And you have to man explain this to people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know, it's funny. You said that. It's funny because you know those memes they always have on the internet that says your wife goes to Disney and does this. Uh-huh. We send those to each other and we just know that the wife means me. Yeah. It's just it's an unspoken word now in our house. But you do it different. Because I'm a man.
SPEAKER_02Because you're a man. And he's going to explain it to you of how he does it differently.
SPEAKER_03So, like if you say you're going to Disney and it has to be.
SPEAKER_02You're welcome, Christy.
SPEAKER_03That's our new one. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02You're welcome.
SPEAKER_03You're welcome, Christy. Today. You're welcome, Christy. Yeah. Disney vibes, that's not a strategy. No. You can't. No. I'm just going to go have some Disney vibes. Yeah. And do some stuff. That's not, that's not anything. So here's my foolproof plan for a Disney planning trip. It's an easy five-step plan. Okay. Plan your trip. Trip plan falls apart. Yep. Have a snack. Yep. Ride some rides. And then buy that merch that you weren't going to buy in the first place. Yeah. That's it. That's your day. That's the most simple day. If you don't, I mean, if that's that's how you have to do Disney. You have to go in there, you have a plan, have it fail, ride some rides. Easy.
SPEAKER_02You have a plan and you have a pivot. And then you have a pivot to your pivot.
SPEAKER_03If you don't, you're not you why'd you even plan this trip in the first place?
SPEAKER_02And then you have pivots to your pivots. So you know how to pivot. I know how to pivot as a man. Yeah. If you put on Facebook If the plan is not going.
SPEAKER_03If you put on Facebook your entire plan for your seven-day trip and all the rides you're going to ride and all the restaurants you're going to go to, your trip is already unsuccessful, and you probably should just cancel your trip and not go at all.
SPEAKER_02Probably.
SPEAKER_03Now I get more into it now.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I figured it out.
SPEAKER_02Because you know how to pivot. You don't go full Karen on a cast member. You just pivot. You just pivot. And you smile and you remember the rules of engagement. Smile cast member. Give them a cast compliment. See, it was military precision.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02As as you learned previously last week. Embrace the suck. That's how you do Disney. Embrace the suck. Embrace the suck. Teach your kids embrace the suck.
SPEAKER_03They should know that as that should be their first words.
SPEAKER_02So let me give you a couple of just facts
Useless Disney Facts And Hidden Details
SPEAKER_02that you're gonna get in the park as we go along.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Sleeping beauty castle isn't very tall. It's only 77 feet tall.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_02It's designed with forced perspective to make it look much bigger.
SPEAKER_03Really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You know what forced perspective is. I don't let me explain that to you.
SPEAKER_03I do, but I hope you explain it to me anyway.
SPEAKER_02As it gets higher up, it's proportionally smaller so that it looks taller. That's how it works. That's forced perspective, people. You always wondered to see. I know listeners, that you wondered what forced perspective because you're a Disney fan. But let me explain it to you. I wonder what they use down Main Street to make the buildings look like that. Yeah, the second floors are smaller, proportionally smaller than the first floors. Is that the same thing? And then it's not forced perspective. That's forced perspective, too. All leading to the castle, which makes the castle look much bigger. Disneyland, Cinderella's castle, it's 191, 189 feet, which is one foot lower than what they need to attach lights to for passing planes. But why, Aaron? So that it's to avoid having to attach lights to it and to ruin the Disney magic.
SPEAKER_03How tall is Guardians? This is about the same height. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So Mannorhorn, as you mentioned earlier, has a basketball court. Yes. Horse-drawn steers have names, and each horse has its own name.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's double cruise boats.
SPEAKER_02The Disneyland Railroad runs on used cooking oil. That's the one I don't know. Made to run on biodiesel. So Walt's apartment, the light stays on. The lamp above the fire station on Main Street is kept lit as a tribute to Walt Disney.
SPEAKER_03And his invention of electricity.
SPEAKER_02And his invention of electricity. And we're going to stop as we walk through, and I'm going to explain that to you because it's important. Castle Drawbridge has only been lowered twice, once in opening day 1955, and once for a special event in 1983.
SPEAKER_03What was the special event? I don't know. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02No. Oh, wow. No, it's just knowing that it that's when it was.
SPEAKER_03I was gonna say when Princess Diana visited.
SPEAKER_02Here's some interesting ones.
SPEAKER_03That was like a great one.
SPEAKER_02New Orleans Square has real addresses. The buildings have authentic-looking street numbers, even though no one lives there.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02There are hidden doorbells in New Orleans Square. Some have unique sounds if you press them. There you go. Something to do in Disney World. Main Street's upper windows honor real people. Now, I think Marty Sklar probably his name's up there, and just the Sherman Brothers, all of those.
SPEAKER_03There's all sorts of people. So And they're all like real places. Like it'll say, I don't know what this, I don't know who's up there, but it'll say like Sherman Brothers Dennistry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's like that.
SPEAKER_02But see, as we walk down, I'm going to explain each and every one of those to you because I'm a man and I'm going to explain it. That's how it works. So going to help you find the hidden Mickeys.
SPEAKER_03This is something you really do. This is you. I do. I love the hidden Mickeys.
SPEAKER_02I like the that's the problem mine and Leah's thing.
SPEAKER_03You help me because I don't, it's something I it's something I don't think about.
SPEAKER_02Somebody gave me a book on them, and but they've changed. So it's like they need to rewrite that book every five, six years.
SPEAKER_03Is there 999 hidden Mickeys in the Haunted Mansion?
SPEAKER_02There's 99 happy haunts, and there's always room for one more. That's why the ghosts ask you if you'll join them. That's why I think there's that many hidden Mickeys. Did you know that the Petrified Tree near Big Thunder Ranch, now Frontierland, was a gift to Walt. It was a million, it's millions of years old, and was given to him by his wife, Lillian, for his birthday.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure he loved to tell people about it and explain it. Because even though it was a gift from his wife, he's a man. And he wants to explain it to you. The music, and I'll let's wrap up with this one. The music on on Main Street changes constantly. There's different background loops that play throughout the day to subtly match the time and the mood.
SPEAKER_03That's amazing.
SPEAKER_02When you're going in in the morning, it is upbeat and it is it is to get you moving. Good on you. And then in the evening, it slows down, it's a calming effect, it gives you for that one last look. And this is something you do. What you need to do, it's one of the things.
SPEAKER_03This is what I do. I know you're exactly what you're gonna say.
SPEAKER_02As you're leaving for the last time on your trip, you need to stop, turn around, give the castle a little wave goodbye, and then head out to your hotel.
SPEAKER_03With a churro in hand.
SPEAKER_02With a churro in hand.
SPEAKER_03That's my every night at Disneyland for hundreds of times.
SPEAKER_02Because that's what you do. That's how you do all the things. And you need to do all the things. And I'm glad I was able to share with you to mansplain them to you.
SPEAKER_03And then you get you look at your wife strangely when she sarcastically says, Are you getting emotional? Because yes, you are. So that was great. You were very good at this. You found your calling. Let me explain to you what you need to do next. The new HBO show coming out soon, mansplaining, starring Aaron Dobbins.
How To Say Goodbye And Leave Feedback
SPEAKER_02Leave on this episode a comment. That is what you need to do. That is the only thing you need to do. Is just leave a comment. Where can they do that? On your platform. Anywhere.
SPEAKER_03Any of the Spotify. Wherever you're listening.
SPEAKER_02Apple, leave a review and then like. But I want you to leave a comment. Send us a text. If you go down into the description, there's a little button there that says send a text. That'll message us. I want you to do that. That's what you need to do. Let me explain it to you.
SPEAKER_03And if you want to Aaron mansplain, you can ask for that and he'll give you a personal mansplain.
SPEAKER_02Oh, there you go. I'm filling requests. If you need anything mansplained to you, send us a text. I know some people are going to text at Cheers to Ears. And until next week, cheers. Cheers.
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