Creative & Sparkly AF: Turning Life Into Story | with Guest, Storyteller Stephanie Rogers (PT3)

PART 3: Why Your Story Matters (and the Sparkly Pants Situation)

It's Part 3 of this series with storyteller, writer, teacher, and producer, Stephanie Rogers, and this one's about the storytelling.

How she found her way into it, what actually makes a story hit, and why the things you almost don’t say out loud are what make stories magically delicious.

Stephanie talks about her classes, the vibrant storytelling scene in Chicago and beyond, what happens when people stop trying to sound impressive and just tell the truth, and when sparkly pants go unseen.

Stephanie Rogers is a Chicago-based storyteller and founder of Story Jam, where real stories and live music come together in a way that creates a storypalooza extraordinaire.

To learn more about Stepahanie's work and Story Jam, go to: storyjamshow.com

Thank you for listening! Learn more at suzannsole.com

Check out Suzanne's spiritual and sassy t-shirts at personallyspiritual.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

When you hear a compelling story, you're you're storing data. You're gathering data. But you're also making a connection with humanity.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

You're listening to the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast with Suzanne Soul, episode 75. Hello, you sensational star seeds, and welcome to the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast, where we get into the mad scene, the healing and spiritual awakening journey can be. I'm your host, Suzanne Sol, comedian, lifelong spiritual student, and I'm sharing some of the shisdom I've learned along my journey that has helped me, and that I hope helps you too. Welcome to part three of my conversation with the effervescent and charming Stephanie Rogers, founder of Chicago's Story Jam, storytelling teacher, writer, performer, and the woman who could take a room full of strangers and turn them into a deeply bonded emotional support group with sing-alongs and stories. In part three, we talk about the magic of storytelling, why it matters how Stephanie got pulled into the art form, what she teaches in her classes, and all the storytelling opportunities all over the joint. And we also share what's happening for Story Jam. And why you should give a shit about her sparkly pants. Let's get into it. Stephanie there.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

We're hopefully prepared and we hopefully have a loving audience. We have created a room in which people feel welcome and loved and heard, and um, we have voices here that need to be respected and and loved. And then also it's entertainment and it's fun. So the show goes on.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

It's so good. So what drew you to storytelling and finding such importance in storytelling? Because I I really got that from you, especially, you know, telling your own story and giving a platform for others to tell their story. And so what where did that come from? Like, you know, sharing your voice in that way.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Oh yeah. I've always been so interested in people and their stories, you know. I I just I'm so fascinated by people. So there's something that happens in the brain when you hear a story, when someone tells you a compelling story, there's this neurological reaction that happens where you do two things. One is you listen intently because it's like, okay, I'm I'm watching Indiana Jones and I'm seeing Indiana Jones go through all this shit, and maybe someday I'll be in that position. So if I ever confront a snake or or get chased by, then I will know what to do because Indiana Jones is telling me what to do in this movie. And the same thing with the story. So when you hear a compelling story, you're you're storing data, you're gathering data. That is true, but you're also making a connection with humanity. You're you know, a good story will touch the audience. We can feel it in the room. Yeah, people are moved, people are changed, and it's like, gosh, I'm not alone. I'm not alone like I thought I was in this whatever struggle. Yes. So it's not doom and gloom. All I mean, I my goal is to elevate the vibration. Again, spiritual talk, but my goal is to elevate the room and to elevate the vibration in the room and elevate the joy in the room. So we're having fun, and it is storytelling fun, but there are moments where it's like, let me just tell you some shit. That when you told your when you have your podcast episode of telling talking about your sobriety, I was like, now that's a story. That's a girl who can tell a storyline.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Get your popcorn.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Because you had you had all the elements. You had conflict, you had resolution, you had, you had truth and profound vulnerability and honesty. And then you had uh, well, you had humor, which we say in storytelling, humor plus vulnerability equals storytelling magic. That's it. And then the writing and the crafting of your story was also brilliant. So you had this perfect package of story that was made me not want to stop listening to it. When it ended, I was like, oh, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Thank you so much. That means so much to me coming from you, especially.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Well, thank you. I yeah, because I'm no, I am not easy on on story like in the video. Like, I've heard stories. I've heard them all. I've heard the stories. You better tell me some. I mean, you know, just like, but um, we're not talking about necessarily telling stories, sharing stories like in a bar, although that's great. That's fun too, sure. That's fun too. But we're talking about crafting. Your piece is a crafted story, and that's what we want. Uh we want to share with our audiences because we want them to feel stuff.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Yeah. So for you, like being able to tell your own story and use your own voice. Was there a journey in that for you?

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Oh, that's the tricky wickle. I am not in love with telling my story. This podcast has been excruciating.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Sorry. Show her what she's won, Bob. Look under your chin. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

And leave immediately. That's right. For telling your story. No, I do love being with you. It's just a blast. This is a blast. Thank you. Vice versa. Thank you. But no, the the um I I prefer to spotlight other stories. Telling your own story. Um, I I struggle. It's funny. This is again one of these little jokes. It's like, ha, good one. I get to go and teach people how to tell their stories. I get to talk to, you know, I get to do this show and stuff, but uh I don't find the joy in standing up in front of the audience and telling, I of course I do it. I, you know, during the pandemic, my friends were like, Well, you teach this shit. You should probably get up and do it sometime. I used to do it at Story Jam sometimes. But um, but I was like, oh God. I so this means I've got to go win a moth. Like, I I not only do I have to go to the moth and sign up and get in get uh you know picked, right? I have to fucking win this. That's right. Because I am Story Jam lady. I'm Story Jam lady. You can't suck. I can't screw this. I can't suck. Junior Story Jam lady got third place.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

They're putting it in the Chicago reader. There's no everyone gets a trophy in storytelling.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

You either win or you suck, okay? So I knew I I knew I couldn't. So, but I was so kind of nervous about the whole thing. I was like, well, gosh, maybe I'm a phony. Maybe I'm telling everybody how to do this, do this stuff all over the place, but maybe I don't know how to do it. Let me find out. So I was half-heartedly, I half-heartedly dropped my name in and I half-heartedly had a story prepared, but I kind of had it really prepared. But I was so nervous that I didn't you know, they say like when you're memorizing your story or when you when you if you have a script and you're memorizing it, then um you should really know it over, over, over, over-prepare, just like in a play, right? And a lot of people believe in that, over-prepare to the point of then let it go and see what, see what evolves. You know it so well that if you're nervous or if you're if your partner scene partner says the wrong line, then you're still gonna be okay because you know your shit really, really well. Well, I didn't. I was just so like, okay, I'm gonna have to, I know, uh I'll figure it out. But I did, I did have a prepared story. I got called, I think I was seventh or eighth, and I just was I knew Nestor Gomez was in the room, and he's the number one storyteller in the world. Oh, okay. He's won more moth slams and grand slams than anyone else. Oh my gosh. By the way, the moth is the only storytelling competition show that I know of. Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Maybe there are other competition shows. Story Jam is not a competition, it's just a show.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

It's a performance.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

It's a performance, but most of them are performances. Most of them are either open mics or performances. So anyway, this is a competition show, and it's the only one we have, so it's all we got. It's like you're gonna win an Oscar or not, and that's the moth slam. Right. So I get up, I find they call my name. Uh, I actually said to my grandmother, who is deceased, this is the woo-woo stuff again. I said, Grandma, am I gonna get called? And she said, or I heard, yes. And then, grandma, am I gonna win this? Pause. Like, come on, grandma, gotta win this. We don't have a choice. And she's like, Yes. Luckily, I told the story, thankfully, won it. And then Oh my gosh, how exciting! And then it was like, Phew, now I got now. I did that. Now I did it.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Now I could say everyone would say, Did you tell your story? Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

And I won a moth award. On the first try. And you know what? It was excruciating, and I I hated it, but I I just really realized, I really realized that as much as I would love to do a solo show, I've I've thought about it for decades, as much as I would love to tell more stories and be up there, I just really love putting other people in the spotlight. Midwifing stories out of others.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

It's a joy. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. But did you was there some sense of like a feeling of an accomplishment from you know telling your story and putting it out there?

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Yes. It's very freeing, it's very therapeutic. A lot of people, yep, a lot of people mean.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

That's been my experience for sure.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yes, yeah. I mean, you are putting yourself out here on your podcast. And and I think that you're getting stuff off your chest, you're also healing. They have discovered that there is a healing effect. So, neuroscience, again, has discovered that there is a healing effect. Not only are you giving a healing effect to yourself when you tell your story, especially those stories of trauma or real difficulty, you're actually having a therapeutic effect. And when you repeat it, it adds to the therapy, therapy adds to that result. But also you're giving that same effect to your audience because the audience, when they hear a story, that's particularly compelling. They are neuromirroring you. They find that the listener brain and the storyteller brain start to neuromirror. So if you if you start telling story, a story about running, because you were running away from the wolves in Indiana Jones or whatever, then your your motor cortex is lighting up. And so is the listener's motor cortex.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Oh my gosh. I know. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

I know. Isn't that cool? So if you if you have a smell, your old factory senses are are lighting up. And the more you tell a story in that compelling way that we are trying to get to, that artful way, then the more the audience's, you know, neuros neuro uh neuro the brain. What's it called? The brain. That's what it's called. The more the brain is activated, and that is the fun of storytelling because that's where our emotions lie in these neurological responses. So incredible. I find it really fun. It is incredible.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

So you teach uh writing classes.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Yes, yes. I teach storytelling and writing. I mean, I I teach I teach the writing or the crafting of story, but some people craft their stories just orally, they don't need to write them. So it depends on how you prefer. Yeah. But I teach in-person classes and then online classes, and I to go into companies and I teach companies how to use storytelling in public speaking.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Well, they're saying the narrative is gonna be the way to communicate everything. Really? So, oh yeah. Oh that's like this the new storytelling is what's hot.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

It's what's hot. Well, I do I do get a lot of people. Sometimes I'll even get, you know, like a business person who has is in charge of a bunch of stuff and they have a big job, but they don't really have those public speaking uh skills. And I'm I get go in there with, you know, from the angle of storytelling. Let's tell stories. So if it's graphs and figures, let's make it a story. Because that's more fun.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

It is more fun and more interesting to listen to.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

It is. Yeah, it's more and then also, you know, dear, you know, C-suite person who is in charge of people, do they even know who you are? Do they know your story? You know, you have all that you have a team, yeah, and do they know you? Have they heard your story? Because it's kind of amazing.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

And as you know, I mean, uh, we're fascinated, I'm fascinated by people's stories. So I want to get the story from like you're giving a public speech to your sales team, but I want to, I want to find that story that's gonna spark that sales team to want to do good, do well for you, do well by you, and be inspired.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Yeah, and be inspired. So, what do you find when what so you do an online writing class? Yes. And you do uh in-person storytelling classes because I was looking at your website, story jam studio, right? If people are interested. Yes. And what what do you like? What how what do you find that uh the students most need?

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Oh, they need to be heard. Yeah. Most of the time, my in-person classes. So there are two tracks that I do. I have the basic storytelling class, and then the more people who really want to learn how to craft their sobriety story or whatever. That's a different, that's a different thing. That's like for personal, really, you know, for betterment, for personal betterment in some way. The the people who come to class who are just there to be heard, they're looking for some, they're they're looking for someone to acknowledge their life story. They may not want to write a memoir per se or stand up on a storytelling stage, but they do really want to be acknowledged. And everybody has, everybody has a story. Everybody has many stories, and everybody has many amazing stories.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

And in in the skill set though, what do you find that that you need to nurture in them?

SPEAKER_00 13:57

That's pretty much well, besides the idea that they get to be heard, I I nurture safe space so that they do feel comfortable sharing their stories. But then, you know, it a lot of people talk a lot too much and they give too much detail. So it's like, how do you edit out the stuff that we don't need? Right. Move the narrative forward without trim the fact. Yeah. Like if it's a cul-de-sac and it the car was brown and then you went around the okay, who cares? Who was in the car? I need the people, right? And I need to know what happened. And, you know, obviously, we're interested in storytelling as an art. So pull me along the story and make it intriguing and interesting. But how do you do that? Leave breadcrumbs. Don't tell me what happened. You know, I actually made a huge storytelling mistake just moments ago. I told you this. I do so I did something that I tell my classes, never do this. And I fucking did it. Which is telling the story before you tell the story. Like people get up at on at on stages and they say, Okay, I'm gonna tell you about the time I got sober. Or it's like, dude, you just gave the whole thing. You robbed us of the of the cookie. Like, give me the I don't want to just gobble the cookie. I want to chew the cookie, I want to enjoy the cookie. So it's not, it's such a shame when when someone actually gives away. And I did that very thing not but two minutes ago when I was telling you about my moth, uh, my moth experience. Yeah, which is I I said, you know, I was talking to my grandma. I had already told you that I was got got called, but I said, and then I asked my grandma, will I get called? But you already knew I was gonna get called. Huge storytelling mistake. Never do that. I still enjoyed it though. I will tell you.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

It was still a good story. Thank you. Yes, but I love that. But you know, I mean, that's like goes to your point of talking about, you know, moving through, knowing things aren't always gonna be perfect, and just keep going. Yeah. Because I think that stops us so much. I mean, I I know a lot of people, including myself, that I was working on a project and you know, I either put it up and it didn't go well, and I was just so embarrassed that I never did it again. Oh I know, I know. That's the worst. Oh, that's suck. Because tolerating the embarrassment, I think, is like half the battle.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Oh gosh. I guess it's like what is your barometer for embarrassment, really? Yes, it's 100%, right? Yes, and that probably goes back to our childhoods. Like, I don't want to be embarrassed either. Nobody wants to be embarrassed. Yeah, I think I care less and less. I mean, I I am less invested in I have been embarrassed many, many times. And um it's al always fleeting, you know, kind of you think like this is just a moment, and maybe people don't care, nobody cares.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

I mean, really, I I mean, I I love to look at that one thing that that they say, people think so much less about you than you think they do. They're thinking about themselves.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

That's true, and what you're thinking of them. That's true. I walked into a party last week and I was like, I was wearing these shiny glitter pants that were like full of sequins. Fabulous. They were fabulous, they were green and they were shiny, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna walk into this room and everybody's gonna be like, cool pants. Hey, I walk in the room, not in not a head turn. Not one. Not one. And I was like, you know what? Nobody gives a shit about my sequin pants right now. I can't I can't believe it.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

You're like, um, hi, Stephanie Rogers here.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Why don't you give a shit about my sparkling pants?

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Go.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

I wanted to make an announcement. Give me a megaphone. Hello!

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Is anybody looking here? I just want to know if anyone noticed my sparkling pants.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Nobody gave two shits. And I don't think they cared about the thing that we care so much about and obsess over. And we do obsess because that's what we do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

But do you think it's like this is just coming to me sometimes? I get these little light bulbs. Do you think those moments, those those uh fear of embarrassment or those embarrassment moments are really more about our relationship with ourselves? What do you mean? I mean saying like how we react and perceive embarrassment. Because, like we're saying, if no one gives a shit about what we're doing, I mean not in a negative way, but no one's like taking score. Right. Oh, she made this mistake and this mistake on Thursday, and then this other mistake last week. You know what I mean? Like no one's doing that except for us.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Because we're so hard on ourselves, right? Right? We're so hard on ourselves. Yes. It's a it's a it's a challenge to not be hard. It's it's a challenge. Yes, it's a worthy challenge because why? You right?

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Yeah, you know, and so it's like that would be a really interesting, I think, perspective. Whenever those come up, it's like I'm just really having a conversation with myself. Yeah, like I'm going, oh my god, that was so embarrassing. I won't be able to tolerate it again, you know. But you're just like no one else is in this conversation but me and myself. Yeah. So you're the one that's really like could be helpful to look at it like that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

I know, I'd like that. I'm gonna definitely embrace that that idea, you know.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

I'm embracing it too, because I just thought of it two seconds ago and I was like, oh my god, how like liberating, you know, like I've had this imaginary audience who's with this near and they're looking at me and they're like, can't believe you fucked up like that.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

How could you ever show your face again? But it's really me. You're the one part of the audience is myself. You're the audience, and you're the performer.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Oh, it's this is so existential.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

This is yeah, yeah, I'm the performer, I'm the critic, I'm the audience.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

I'm surprised to hear you even say that though. I mean, it's so endearing, though. When someone does uh reveal that that how you know how questioning they can be about their own amazing talent, it's endearing, but it's also like, gosh, what a shame. Because I I mean, you'd probably be a big asshole if you walked around in the space of knowing what what a great performer you are. Oh, golly gee. Maybe nobody would like comment. Maybe nobody would like you, Suzanne. Like, she really loves herself. I'm conflicted by this because you're, you know, you're you're talking about these self-doubts that really have no business existing. I know, I know. Right? But you're also you're also by sharing them with us and by sharing our our true feelings about things, which we discover at storytelling, in storytelling, you you really are being vulnerable and it's lovable. Thank you. That's a that's a weird balance though, that conflict, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Yeah, I'm really just trying to like discover and grow and evolve. And it's like part of the reason I I have this podcast, and I have gained so much insight and so much like new ideas and expanded ideas about life and about, you know, and the and what you say, like we're not we're we're not alone. Like I have heard my story being told through others, you know, when they're on my podcast and I'm listening and I'm like, oh my god, I'm not the only one, like you said. Yes, you know, and this has just been such a gift to me to do this podcast and to have amazing guests like yourself on the show. Yeah, what you do is extraordinary. You are so bold, and you are just such a uh um a trailblazer. And I do, and I see anytime I see you I scroll and I there she is. I'm like, no, I love it. I'm like, what's she doing now?

SPEAKER_00 21:46

You know, life uh life is uh is interesting. It's it's sort of more interesting the more we feel we get to create something, right? Yeah, and and every show I do I I just want it to be new and different. Like, how is this one? What are we going to do? What little thing are we going to do make a difference? So lucky to be able to do this creative work. And I would say that this podcast is extraordinary and you are doing extraordinary things.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

I appreciate that. We'll look at the time really quick. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

So we're out of time. We're out. You're out of touch. You're out of time. I love how we both did that. I love.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Because that's how does it. So, okay, I uh you don't have to do this, and you can say no, I don't want to. But would you be open to singing one of the songs that you have created?

unknown 22:38

No!

SPEAKER_02 22:40

That face! No, but would you? No?

SPEAKER_00 22:42

You can or you can't? Uh singing a song that we've created. Okay, I sang a song. You know who Peter Sagel is? He's on uh he's uh he's he's uh the guy on NPR who does a show called Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I think it's on Sunday mornings, maybe Saturday mornings, who knows? Because it's like a podcast too so you can listen. Okay, but anyway, Peter Sagel told a story at Story Jam once that was about his finding he he was in a running club. He's a runner, right? Yeah. Okay, so he's in a running club with all these guys and they're talking about the guy stuff, and Peter's going through a divorce, and it's it's all guys, and ah, women suck. But then there's Paula who's in the running club with him. And Paula's like, listen, gentlemen, and she's English, I think, too. So we need an English accent. I don't know if you can do one.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Yes, I can do it. What would you like? Wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

So Paula. So Paula, I would you say Paula? Paula. Paula, Paula, Paula. My name is Paula. My name's Paula. So Paula is is actually egging Peter on in the story, telling him, you know what? You should get out there. You need to go meet people. And she was such a pain in the ass about this that he decides he's gonna go out there and meet people. He ends up marrying this, meeting the love is life, marrying her, and it's a lovely, lovely story. But I took the story instead of instead of making it a story about Peter finding love, which is like meh, boring. Um, I took Paula because I'm like, who's this Paula girl? Like, she's she's out there telling the boys what to do in running club on. So I wrote a song called Paula. Yes. And it's uh Paula. Wait, now I have to remember it. Hey, Paula, just tell me what to do. You're a most unusual, unsuspected guru. Hey, Paula. You're stern and harsh and you are cruel, but Paula, I owe it all to you. You're gonna have to edit that.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

You're gonna have to edit that. I know I love it. I'll I'll clip it so it's all tight. Okay. I love it, I love it, love it. So, how what would you say to people who are interested in storytelling? Uh, you know, what how would you encourage them? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Tell your stories, tell your stories, tell your stories, work on your stories, go to open mics, easy peasy. If you're interested in doing this, it's really a vibrant, cool community. It's sort of underground and it's really just you'll meet the most interesting, unique people. And I'm talking about the person who you don't even think of as unique. I'm talking about the suburban housewife lady who doesn't look like anything exciting ever happens to her. Well, just you wait. Because have you seen Breaking Bad? Because there is a story in there that comes out at these shows, and it's you bond with people. I have lifelong, I've made lifelong friends with people, take classes. Classes are amazing. I take every class. I took every class. Yes. Even though I was still teaching during the pandemic, I decided to take every single class I could take. Uh, I love the classes, repeat the classes, learn and watch, and they're not expensive. And otherwise, call me. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

And I was gonna say, people, if they're interested in hearing about your classes, they can go to storyjamstudio.com.com. Yes. And that's where they can find out what classes are going on. You've got online, you've got in-person in Chicago. Yeah. And then Story Jam, where you can find the events is storyjamshow.com. Storyjamshow.com. If you want to see one of her amazing Story Jam performances, yes. And storyjamstudio.com if you are interested in taking a writing storytelling class. Yes, yes. Amazing. Well, I mean, highly recommended. She is such an amazing person and enthusiast, and she's passionate. She's a great teacher, she's a great performer. And thank you. Your boldness and your trailblazing to just create this environment that you were like, I have an idea to create this world. And now it's there. And it is such a delight to watch, to watch you evolve. And I'm so, so thankful that you came on the spiritual shit show with Suzanne Soleil Podcast. So thank you, Stephanie Rogers. So much for joining me. It was such a gift. Oh, you're a gift. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Namaste. Namaste.com. Okay. Oh my god. And that is part three, the grand finale with a brilliant, hilarious, luminous Stephanie Rogers. If you didn't already want to sign up for a storytelling class, go see Story Jam, or explore your own creative endeavor, you probably do now. Stephanie is living proof that our stories matter. Our creativity is medicine, and our weirdest to boldest parts are usually the ones pointing us toward the ultimate creative expression. Thank you to the fabulous Stephanie Rogers for joining me and sharing her story. If you want to learn more about Stephanie and Story Jam, go to StoryJamshow.com. Anyways, as always, this has been the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast. My name is Suzanne Soule. Thank you so motherfucking much for listening, and I will see you on the next one. Roll it. Like you've never rolled it before.