The Miraculous Shitshow of Forging Your Own Path series | PT2

In Part 2 of The Miraculous Shitshow of Forging Your Own Path series, Suzanne dives into the stories we tell ourselves about where we are in life, where we think we should be, and what it means when our path doesn't look anything like we expected.

Through a raw, honest, and free-flow conversation, she explores the messy reality of forging your own path, learning to trust your inner compass, and continuing forward even when the destination isn't entirely clear. Along the way, she shares memorable quotes and insights from some of the leading voices on self-discovery, individuality, and finding your own way in the world.

Thank you for listening! Learn more at suzannsole.com

Check out Suzanne's spiritual and sassy t-shirts at personallyspiritual.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What do you mean, baby steps? I want to blink my eyes like Jeannie from I Love Jeannie. And then I want to be on my um, you know, on my yacht sailing to my gig in the Bahamas, where I'm gonna do a stand-up comedy show for 45,000 people. You're listening to the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast with Suzanne Soul, episode 86. Hey you gorgeous motherfuckers, and welcome to the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast, where we get into the delicious, fantastical motherfucking ride. The healing and spiritual awakening journey can be. I'm your host, Suzanne Soule, comedian, lifelong spiritual student, and I'm sharing some of the amaze-ball stuff I've learned along my journey that has helped me and that I hope helps you too. This is part two of my three-parter on talking about forging your own path and following your heart and following your bliss. So let's get into it. There is only one way, and that is your way. There is only one salvation, and that is your salvation. What is to come will be created in you and from you. Hence, look into yourself. Do not compare, do not measure. No other way is like yours. You must fulfill the way that is in you. Carl Young. Okay, so I want to talk about now the person who might be listening who's like, I had a lot of dreams, and I followed none of them because I did what my family told me I should do, or my spouse told me what I should do, or my kids told me what I should do, or my grandparents, or my teachers, or my boss, or society, or what this book said I should do, or my this community told me I should do, whatever. We've all been there. We all have been there. We have all listened to all the people and all the books and all the things. We've all done it, right? So don't beat yourself up for that. It's really challenging. Like that quote, E.E. Cummings says, to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else is the hardest battle you will ever fight. I mean, do you hear that? So don't beat yourself up for being immersed in a society that is set up like that, right? And the other piece that I want a presence, which is why I kind of started with this you're gonna experience bullshit whether you've followed your heart to a T, which of course is not reality-based. I mean, unless you uh live in a cabin like that dude in the mountains. Yeah, okay, he's probably doing it every day. Except for he's probably got like those old, those old memories of when his in his childhood went, you gotta do this and you gotta do that, and you're this and you're that. I mean, those were still probably running his a lot of his stuff in there. That's probably why me maybe why he was in the mountain for 30 years or whatever. You know? But um, we're all influenced by our surroundings. There's no getting out of that, right? I think it's the messiness of connection and community. There's, you know, we live in a world of duality. The beauty of connection and community is the experience of feeling that oneness and that wonderful, oh, it's so delicious. Mmm. The messy part of it is people like to be going on your business sometimes. And especially if you haven't asked them, it's like, mm, I didn't, did I ask you for your opinion? Or maybe you do ask them for their opinion, which is all fine and good, but you have to remember the person living your life is you. And we're so taught to offload our lives onto other people and offload our compass and offload our beautiful life energy. And I'm not trying to demonize any of it. We're all doing our best. We're all doing our best. You are doing your best right now, right in this very second. Even if you think your best blows, that's you just making a judgment on it. Because I bet if you looked at everything you've already been through up to this point, and you're listening to this podcast about spiritual awakening and healing, you are doing your best. You're showing up every day to do your best, to do the best you possibly can with the life that you have. So if you are living a life that does not feel like your own, what can you do? It's actually a million times easier than you think it is. To start following your own inner compass. You can do it at any age. If you're still here, you can start the journey to following your own path and your heart. If you're still here, there's still time. Let's get rid of this youth-centered mentality because so many of us, middle-aged and seniors, have so much to offer society. And the beauty that we can bring is amazing. And so, say you've been in a marriage for a really long time that just doesn't feel like you, and you've been doubting. And I'm not advocating, go, just go get a divorce, you know. But I think after many, many years, and you just feel like this life is not my life, you can start to take little steps. So what I'm trying to say is if you feel like there are elements of your life that you are looking at and saying, This is not my life, you can start taking steps toward building the life that you want. But you have to remember that it's gonna be messy and it's gonna be hard and you're gonna feel like shit sometimes, and you're gonna fuck up, no different from living in this experience that doesn't feel like yours. I just want to make it clear that you're not going, okay, this life sucks and it doesn't feel like mine, and there's a lot of bullshit I have to put up with, and then I'm gonna go, you know, forge my own path and live and follow my heart and follow my path, and then my life is just gonna be like candy canes and stars and butterflies and fairies and because that's not true, right? You have to know that. And and and I say that also for the person who's like, I started following my path and everything was fucked. That's part of it too. Joe. I don't know why I said Joe. That's part of it too, baby. It is.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

I I was following my own path and it totally fucked me up. And you could go, mmm, I learned something very valuable in that experience. I grew in an invaluable way. I grew in a way that I would never have grown in. And it's not like I'm saying, like, oh, well, we can only grow in situations that are like killing us. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I mean, they have these sayings for a reason. It's fucking true. So I just want to say, you know, that was me. That was me. I would put something out there, I would fuck up, and I would be like, I screwed everything up. Just know that life has challenges either way, and that you can learn from them and you can use those challenges to grow you. It's like they say, be careful what you wish for. Why do they say that? Well, I think they say that because what you wish for, you may not be ready for yet. And so then the universe is gonna be like, okay, now I gotta make you ready, and that shit's gonna hurt. And you do, you know it, you feel it. I I feel that right now. As an artist, I would never have been able to just talk into this camera and just talk about what I've learned and what I've experienced. You know, I'm just like freestyling right now. I've never done that. I've I've been, you know, using writing. I've been written those things. I've written my episodes. I wrote my episodes because I knew I had to, because doing what I'm doing right now was unbearable. When I first started doing this podcast, I decided, because I do feel like I've learned a lot. And what many times when I have conversations with people, they tell me I feel very moved by this. This really spoke to me. I'm still thinking about our conversation, which means so much to me, you know. And I've had people that have been in my life that have shared their wisdom with me, and I've been like, wow, that conversation changed my life. But then when I started to do this podcast, and I thought, well, let me, you know, let me share what I've learned because I felt the urge from the universe, spirit, God, whatever you call it, the innermost energetic divine intelligence that told me you're funny and you've dug your way out of feeling really terrible. You gotta talk about it. And you gotta tell people. And the reason I do that is because I never thought how I feel about myself today, what I'm doing right now, by talking into this microphone, by talking to this camera and sharing, like just off the cuff like this, never thought I could do that. But day by day by day, showing up from my vision, falling down, collapsing, taking a two-week depression break.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Yeah, that's it. You know, that's the path.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

The pat the the experience of following your path is taking a step forward, taking two steps back, taking another step forward, collapsing, going on a two-week depression bender, getting back up, trying something else because you think you fucked up, then realizing you liked what you were doing more, going back to that, and then keeping going. How many times I've been like, oh gosh, this podcast, oh my gosh, it feels like uh, you know, I have a full-time job still, like, oh my god, how am I gonna do it? And here I am doing it. And I'm grateful as fuck. Every time I sit down at this microphone and turn that camera on, I'm so fucking grateful that I am doing it. And sometimes I have to force myself, girl. But I'm gonna say sometimes you do need the day of rest. So that, you know, just as an aside. Anyway, my point being that if you are someone who feels that you are not being true to yourself, following your own path, following your heart, I'm gonna say it again, one step at a time. It's really true. And that's the other thing about us. We want immediate gratification. I'm a results-oriented person. I'm like, if I put something out there and I don't get like immediate results, my insecurities will tell me, no, nobody wants it. Rejected, put the rejected stamp on there. Nobody wants your shit. Nobody wants your stuff. But if you look at following your path as a journey to getting to the truest possible, most authentic possible version of yourself in the most self-led way you could be in this world of opinions and judgments and comparatives and blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

That's the end goal. Isn't it? They're like, no, it's a yacht and a billion dollars. Well, that's fine too. Enjoy. No judgments here.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

But I really, really want to impart this on you. Don't have to change your entire life overnight. I mean, if you can and you want to, that's up to you. Not gonna tell you not to. But for anyone who's like, oh my God, I feel so overwhelming to go from where I am right now to over there where I really feel like I want to be, or I don't even know what I want. How am I where am I supposed to go? Motherfucking baby steps. Really, it is. I know that sounds so like frustrating and what you don't want to hear. What do you mean, baby steps? I want to blink my eyes like Jeannie from I Love Jeannie. And then I want to be on my um, you know, on my yacht sailing to my gig in the Bahamas, where I'm gonna do a stand-up comedy show for 45,000 people. Maybe that starts by journaling. Huge journaling fan. Huge. It's really helpful. And that a journaling is a journey too, but it can help you start to get to the place where you can start to sift out everything else and hear your own voice and start to follow that compass, to get in touch with your inner compass. Look at it this way: if there are elements of your life where you are like, this is not who I am, whether it be a job, a relationship, uh where you're living, how you're living, any of it, that feeling is your voice talking to you and saying your inner compass, the deepest part of you. There's uh something else you want. There's another way that you want to be in the world. It's your inner voice saying, Hey, over here, table three. I got us a starter. Hope you like chicken wings. It's like it just wants to get your attention, and you can start to commingle with your inner voice, you can start to have a conversation, and it can be the voice that guides you home into yourself and start to pay attention when the compass is directing you. If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path, you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path. Joseph Campbell. I can't remember who said it, but the idea was it's like when you uh are uh on a path and you have like a vision for your life, when you start to feel completely lost, you're on the right path. Which is like, fuck, right? There you are, chom, chung, chung, hacking the weeds away. It's like that's what I honestly, that's what I feel like I'm doing right now, and it is terrifyingly, I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. But when I talk about it and share it with you, where it reminds me how exhilarating it is. What an adventure it is. It's like, can you imagine the idea of just like, I don't know why I want to do this, but I want to do this, or I'm gonna try this, or I don't know if this is gonna work, but and you do. There's nothing more exhilarating. Nothing. Even rock climbing without any ropes or anything, which I honestly think is completely insane. I can't even watch those videos. I don't know about you, but when I scroll through one of those videos and they have one of those rock climbers and no ropes, I'm literally like, my entire being is sweaty just from looking at the person climbing, right? But I mean, is that what we're doing? Well, uh, you know, I don't think we're doing it to that degree. Maybe it feels like that emotionally and psychologically. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Then I would say probably uh psychologically or emotionally, it might feel like you're doing that. But physically you're not doing that. Sorry, people who do that. I mean, God bless, I hope you enjoy it, but oh my gosh. Anyway, back on the subject. Following your path is a one day at a time adventure. Every single day. And part of that is to start to realize and recognize and get to know yourself and to learn what you need, what's true for you, and how you can be more of an of a friend to yourself, an advocate, um, all the things, you know, that maybe we look outside for other people to do for us because we feel it lacking in ourselves. Now do not confuse what I'm saying. I am not saying that we don't need anyone. I'm not saying that. We need people, we need each other. We grow, we learn, listening to other people's advice and wisdom, and hopefully what I'm sharing might be speaking to you, right? But at the end of the day, as Joseph Campbell would say, the last trick is done by you. And that, for some reason, has become a very terrifying idea. Which is like, when did that happen? So first we were like cave people and we were clubbing each other over the head, and then I don't know where the flower petal I don't know if you remember that from the 70s. In sketch comedy, the caveman would hit the lady over the head and then drag her by her hair while she while she pulled out petals. He loves me, he loves me not. What the fuck? Literally, people would be arrested for that now. It's not encouraged, and I don't encourage it. Anyway, we went from being cave people, where we were, you know, then we're evolving and evolving, and well, survival. Survival's a big deal. It's important. We want to survive. We need to survive. Or we won't be here to be able to, like, you know, live our own path. So that kind of got moved into not just physical but emotional and psychological, right? Because we want to belong. We need the group to survive, right? And um, you know, I think we're just sifting that out now. We can be interdependent is the goal, so they say. To be connected with others, to depend on others, but also to be able to be self-led and at the end of the day, to be able to confer with yourself about really truly what's best for you. Because other people have themselves that they have to kind of take care of. They can't be like, oh, I'm taking care of me and I'm taking care of you. Internally. So if you think that like conferring with yourself is like some sort of anti-survival thing, well, just think about the fact of putting that on another person all the time. They're gonna get sick of it and they're gonna leave you for that too. So either way. And plus checking in with yourself, it feels so good. I can't even tell you. To feel like even in the worst moments that you can get through it comes from that. Finding your inner compass, finding out who you are, knowing that you are following your heart. It really does. So one day at a time, you have a uh I've always wanted to do this. Journal about it, research it. You don't have to do anything. And you can acknowledge your fear and be like, yeah, okay, uh it's I feel scared of it. It's new, I don't know it, that's okay. But don't make that the that wall be the wall. Just say, that's the wall today, and that's okay. And then I'll move out a little further, and I'll move out a little further, it'll move out a little further, and I'll move out a little further. I ain't fucking with ya. I ain't fucking with ya. It truly will. And trust me, I've been a stubborn ass motherfucker, and a perfectionist. And neurotic and codependent. And and you were there, and you were there, and you were there, but I'm still here showing up. And that is like my the gift I give to myself over and over again. And I do think it radiates out, right? Because the more healed we become, the more we are able to uh love other people without agenda. We're not taking abuse, we're not taking abuse from people, we're not being mistreated, but we're allowing them to be themselves and not depending on them to be someone we need them to be. How do we do that? Coming inward, finding out what our inner compass is guiding us toward. And it could be several things, right? It could be like, I want to go to therapy, it could be I want to become a therapist, it could be I want to be an artist, it could be I want to travel all over the world, it could be I want to learn to not be afraid to make my own decisions. It could be I I want to not be afraid to uh not be in a relationship for five minutes, you know, that I would you know what is in you that wants to be expressed. You know the the uh prisons you feel like you're in mentally. You know the traps you feel like you are living in in your life and are telling yourself they're traps. Like literally right now, while I'm saying that, I'm recognizing that I have been doing that with an area of my life that feels like a trap, and I'm telling myself it's a trap, and so therefore, I'm staying traps in it instead of taking baby steps to see what else is out there, to build a road and a path to something better, a better experience of whatever that is. So don't take those baby steps lightly. They are everything. They're it. And like I said, we want to be like, well, what's the result? You don't get to know. Like Alan Watts said, if you knew how the game was going to end, what would be the point of playing it? I mean. I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere ages and ages hence, two roads diverged in a wood. And I I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost. And that was part two of the discussion. Well, it was actually really more of a mama logue, on forging your own path and the experience of doing that. Be back for part three, so I hope to see you there. Anyways, as always, this has been the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast. My name is Suzanne Sowell. It has been my motherfucking pleasure to chitty chat with you. I love you so fucking much. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you on the next one. Darling Rollet.