"Manifestation is Not Ordering on Amazon" (w/Brendan Fitzgibbons)

We're back and we're big...from eating too much and feeling shame. The good news is that in this incredible solo episode, Brendan dives into the incredible world of possibility. And has some helpful tips on how to get there. 

He goes all in on:

• The REAL REASON why it's so hard to start all over again. 
• Dr. Lisa Miller on why manifesting isn't ordering on Amazon. 
• The most important question to ask yourself about the beliefs you have. 
• THREE THINGS to say to any man that will make him feel amazing! 
• And dissecting why some police officers look like they've driving drunk. 

RESOURCES
Brendan Fitzgibbons
Dr. Lisa Miller on the "Know Thyself Podcast"
Apparently Men Have Feelings w/Elliot White
How the police drive

Transcript

I find it pretty ironic that one of the jobs of a police officer is to issue drinking and driving tickets to people. For people who are driving, under the influence and, you know, bad, slightly intoxicated swerving. But, have you ever seen a police officer drive on a normal day? They drive like they are completely hammered.

Do you just see a police officer swerve in two lanes for no reason? Pulling over just because they want to? Flipping on their lights? There's sirens just to go through the red light sometimes just going through the red light all of a sudden just swerving everywhere And if you were to [00:01:00] see that you took out the fact that they were in a police officer Car you would say wow that stunt driver is hammered But no all of us give them a pass cuz we're like they're doing it cuz they're just fighting crime That's what they're doing over there.

Those cops are just busy fighting crime crime But you know what's really happening is that police officers driving and then all of a sudden goes Oh shit, is that a hot dog stand? Woo, yo, put the flashers on, we gotta go get a hot dog. Alright? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, just pretend like it's an emergency.

Yeah, it's cool, we'll just act like someone's robbing a bank, it's fine. Oh, quick, quick, quick, pull over, pull over. Yeah, I gotta get Beyonce tickets and I don't have a signal here. Act like we're arresting someone. Welcome everybody to a brand new episode of Spiritual Asshole.

I am your host. Brendan Fitzgibbons, thank you so much for being here. Thank you as always for joining and being part of this amazing, amazing experience that we are calling life. Please continue to follow me at, on Instagram at the underscore Brendan Fitzgibbons, also on YouTube at the underscore Brendan Fitzgibbons.

Have a lot of great things going on. Come out, hang out, come say hi. Isn't it weird how a lot of us are just posting social [00:02:00] videos and being at the whim of something called the algorithm? In my mind, the algorithm is a great overlord, and I would like to go bend on my knees and offer him gifts. ALGORITHM!

I come here to give you an offering of my neighbor's baby to make sure that I get over 150 likes on my next Instagram post. Do you accept? Also, shout out to everybody who has been tagging me on Spotify. I love this time of year because Spotify releases your year in review.

It's in a very exciting time where you see all your top artists and podcasts. Shout out to everybody who tagged me in that and to this podcast, I will be reposting you. Thank you so much as always for listening. We had another great year and I have a feeling that next year is going to be the greatest year we've ever had.

we're going to buy a Bitcoin. What is that? As soon as somebody says blockchain at a party, I'm out. Okay, guys, we're going to play a clip today. That's going to be awesome. It's not nearly as long as the last one we're going to get. We're going to talk about that. And then next week we're gonna have some amazing guests, which I'm really excited about.

I've been talking to some great people. Okay. Here's what I want to talk about this week. [00:03:00] As we get into the holidays, as we get into the newness of a new year, we say goodbye to this year. And I want everyone to keep in mind, the universe actually doesn't care. About time. So while we're all like this year sucked, or this year was great, or this is my eighth time voting for Trump Just remember the universe doesn't know time, right?

So there is no time. Take it away, But if you want to mark something as new as starting again I think that's always great because that ties into perfectly what I want to talk about today Every moment is a chance to start new. Now, that has been said a lot in our culture, in songs It's the whole premise of Christianity The And also Kanye West's career.

Is that every moment we can start all over again. Okay. Now, while that's being said, a very key component of that statement, which I completely agree with, is always missing and is this is the key component which has changed my life, and I hope it changes yours as well. So today I wanna make sure I give you guys very tactical tips.

This is the first tip, [00:04:00] every moment is a chance to start again. Okay, start all over again. That is true, but the key thing that is missing and that people are not saying is that you can only start again anew if you choose to not drag your entire past with you in this new moment. Because in this new moment, if you're bringing your past into it, It's not new.

It's your past. And I know I've talked about this a lot, but I just, I'm going to say it in a new way this time. Okay. So let's say tomorrow you have a job interview or let's say tomorrow you have a first date. Okay. Let's use those two examples. All right. Job interview, a question to ask yourself. And I want you to ask yourself on whatever you're doing today impactful.

Who am I being when I do these things? Who am I? Okay, when you go on this job interview, Are you the person that's been unemployed for three years and has a scarcity mindset? Or are you a person who's going to surrender to the possibility and the opportunity of this interview and [00:05:00] this occasion?

Okay, the reason why I keep using the word possibility so much is because, and we will talk about it with this clip, is that it affords the opportunity for you to surrender into something better. But you can't surrender into possibility if you go to the job interview and you're like, I never get these, job interviews suck, I'm never gonna have a job, I'm fucked, whatever the internal dialogue is.

Because do you understand, when you do that, You are bringing your past into that moment. So who are you being when you do the thing? Who are you being when you do the thing? Are you being the person that believes that anything is possible when you have an audition? Are you the amazing actor or actress that has been honing their craft for years and is ready and believe that they're awesome no matter what happens?

Or are you the actor that is desperate? Or are you the actor that is worried about how they'll look? Cuz that's even thinking about the past. I keep hammering this past thing so much with you guys because I just think it makes it so simple. And the past is interchangeable with the known, right? I always talk about known and unknown.

Alright, [00:06:00] so, Who are you being when you do the thing? When you decide and put your head down and say I'm gonna start this podcast Okay, who are you being when you start it? Because I've had to do this with this podcast guys I've been doing this for four years Sometimes I can go on autopilot y'all I'm just like anybody else but like when I do this episode when I talk to you guys who am I being am I being the guy who's like so excited to talk to you guys or am I'm the guy who's going through the motions and Thinking about all the episodes I've done already Maybe some of you don't struggle with the past stuff.

and if that's the case, can you start a podcast? I'll listen to it. Okay, so who are you being, right? Because a lot of our culture is obsessed with action, right? I'll take action on this, I'll take action on that. That's what's going to solve it. And I do think action is super important.

But the thing about action is if you don't change your mindset and you continue to bring the past into whatever you're doing, all you're basically doing is rearranging the furniture in your room. Right? So if you're like, okay, this podcast didn't work. I'm going to start this business. Okay.

But when I do this business, I'm going to have the same mindset I had with the podcast where I'm like, this is really hard. I don't know what I'm doing. [00:07:00] What do I do? I've had so many failed opportunities. Or are you seeing the podcast and the new business as new and possible and you see it through the eyes of being a child, through being a kid, through endless possibility.

It's okay if you think about the past sometimes and sometimes it can be super informative, like especially if for like administrative things, like, okay, don't do this. Don't hire anybody from Gen Z named Bryce or Devin, but possibility, yo, I am going to hammer this into everybody's head. POSSI FUCKING BILITY.

IS. Everything! Unknown is everything. So one of the things I've been doing now is I've been getting up in the morning and hiking. Not because I want to, but because it's something new for my brain. And the cool thing about unknown and possibility is like, you can go there in your mind all the time. You can choose to think about the opportunity of whatever is unfolding in front of you and not the familiar past or predictable future of what you think is going to happen.

And that is a great segue for this clip that I want to play you right [00:08:00] now. It is from the Know Thyself podcast with the great Dr. Lisa Miller as the guest talking. And the Know Thyself podcast, Andre de Quorum or something? He looks like a spiritual statue. Um He gets great guests.

love this clip so much. This entire clip is about possibility. I'll only interrupt this one time, This is Dr. Lisa Miller, and she wrote a book called The Awakened Brain. There's a very popular view right now in mainstream culture that somehow if I want something, which is really a hedonic perspective, I would like to lose weight.

I would like to, um, have a child. Is this what you refer as the achieving mind in your book? Yes. I want something. And taken at the level of consciousness, I'm going to send that out and it's going to come back. And if I really align myself and I really send it out, it'll be just as I perhaps ordered on Amazon.

And that's a very, um, Limiting, very [00:09:00] limiting journey, because what I want is only based on today's information backwards. It's all historically driven. Your memory. Yes. So what she means by today's information backwards, yes, your memory, but also like this one thing happened to me, therefore I have to have this other thing happen to me to fix it.

And it's very limiting in the sense that we often only pick like one or two things like, well, I know I can make money this one way. When really, if you surrender to the possibility, it's a trillion ways. But what might be in store if I'm in a dialogue with the force in life, or the oneness of all being, seeing what unfolds before me, has information that I've yet to discover.

So, giving up what I want should be a relief. And instead, life is this grand spiritual adventure. Who knows who's going to come around the corner next. What, how amazing what's in store for today. You never know. But it's better than [00:10:00] what you think you wanted. Even if it's distasteful or hurts, it's better.

I think one of the things that trips us up a lot is thinking that we know what is best for us all the time. We're like, no, this is the partner that I need in my life. That person has a sports gambling addiction. And you're like, no, but I like sports, but you don't, you hate the Mets. So what I think she's saying, and I love this, and I've heard Esther Hicks say this too, is like, What if, in the state of this possibility, is something so good you can't even fucking comprehend it?

Your limiting brain, that's obsessed with the past and the future, can't even comprehend how good this is. I think coming to terms with the impermanent nature of existence and reality, how each moment is, whether or not we want it to, unfolding in a mysterious way. Like, we don't know what's gonna unfold next, right?

And yet, like you're talking about this pervasive kind of psychology of planning existence to a T and controlling it and try to Amazon order our relationships and career and you're [00:11:00] inviting the embracing of spontaneous existence, the awakened mind. Yes. And so let's kind of go into a little bit too, because The surrendering to the reality that each moment is like unknown, and if we want to experience a life greater than we could ever imagine, then it has to, by virtue, literally happen outside of our stored base of memory and what we have known, you know, so.

Magnificent, yes. Yeah. So, now embracing and what is the awakened mind and your experience and how you've studied it? So, the awakened. brain is our inborn capacity to be an open system. And each day I don't know what's going to happen. Each day I can't control what's going to happen, which is simply an ontological fact.

I cannot control what's going to happen. But rather than fear uncertainty, rather than be frustrated I don't have control or that I let this ball slip out of my hand or I didn't get him or her or them or that job. [00:12:00] What is life showing me now? What is the universe revealing to me now? It can be through synchronicity and seeing the patterns laid before us, the guideposts.

It can be through a dream or a mystical experience. It can be through a God instinct, but we have knowing in many forms. We have many inborn organic epistemologies, we're intuitives, we're mystics, we're logicians and empiricists. open my awareness to be an open system and receive and perceive God's guidance, the universe direction.

That's sure footing. That's not risky. That's not, certainly not airy fairy. That's the most sound bedrock I could be on. So shouldn't we be teaching our kids that in school? I mean, I sat around in school waiting to talk about this for 20 years, the first 20 years. [00:13:00] You know, how amazing for a child to learn your life is a grand, sacred adventure.

You don't know where you're going and you don't need to. It's not about some pre chosen, predetermined terminus. It's about this discovery that you are on. And what's certain is that you can be rooted in a stance of quest. You can be rooted as an open system in dialogue with the universe. Wow. Rooted in a stance of quest.

Mmm. Damn, dude. When was the last time you felt that life was one grand, sacred adventure? Except for the time that you smoked a lot of weed and went to Domino's. And this is where I think thinking about the past can actually be very helpful. And I was talking to my great friend, Andrea own about this. I think it's okay to think about the past for sure.

When you are cultivating feelings and memories of the past that remind you of how powerful you were and how fucking awesome you were. Right. And for me, I'm, [00:14:00] I go back to the past now when I think about how much I believed in surrendered to possibility when I was in my twenties. It's when I was best at manifesting.

I still stand by that. I had no resistance. I felt this like very Generalized vague sense of possibility and I just leaned into it and I surrendered and I'll tell you guys a story So this is a good story. So this was interesting I saw Kyle cease recently say and I'm not the biggest fan of his He tells people to stop drinking too much.

Like, bro, this isn't church. Calm down. Anyways, so, he said this interesting thing. He said that when he was 21, he never drank. And then he drank when he was 21. And he's like, and by drinking, that was expansion for me. That was actually surrendering to possibility more. Because I've never done this thing.

He's like, now it wouldn't be. in 2018, I had this amazing job. I worked at, uh, It was called Oath, but it was like AOL, HuffPost, Verizon, all these companies, right? it was a really funny job. We were in charge of making the internal TV show for the whole company every day, [00:15:00] and it was just such a fuck around funny job.

We did, like, absolutely batshit inside jokes for this very serious company. Made a basketball a character named basketball Tay we put in like obscure references This is supposed to be like an internal video. Anyways, one day we get to work They're like this is over. You guys are all done. You're done.

Just that day No warning. I remember that day. I was like, okay, I don't have a job anymore. I have a couple choices. I can go home and freak out, or I could go to the liquor store, buy a bottle of bourbon for everybody who worked on the show, because I was the head writer for it, and we could just drink it and talk about the show and how silly it was, and when I did that, I remember feeling like I was doing it just knowing everything was going to be okay, and I was like surrendering to the possibility that I have no idea what's going to happen, you know.

Who cares? It's going to be fine. Cut to Monday. they're like, Brennan, come back in on Monday. the boss of the studio really liked me and she was like, Brennan, I'm [00:16:00] starting a pop culture show at this studio where we interview all these celebrities and I want you to be the host. And I truly believe one of the reasons why it happened was because I didn't panic.

And I surrendered to the possibility, like, that job, the pop culture host job, was an even better job than the job I had. And I was just like, yeah, we should just go buy bottle of bourbon. So what I'm telling you guys now is to Lay this hardcore foundation to becoming an aggressive alcoholic.

No, because I don't think that me doing that now would necessarily be expansion. But I was like, surrendering to the possibility of like, I don't know what's going to happen. And I just think getting back to that place is so important. Okay, I want to say one more thing that I'm going to give, I want to do something kind of Interesting and different now. and give you three tips because I feel like a lot of women will listen to this podcast. So I want to give you three things to say to a guy that will make him feel good and improve your relationship. Or if you're dating a guy, three things, trust me, foolproof.

First, I want to say this one thing. Okay. From now on, when you start formulating beliefs and [00:17:00] opinions, ask yourself the following question, do I want to be right about this? Okay. Okay. Let me explain. All of reality will conform to your opinions and your beliefs, okay? So, when you lay out these hardcore theories, and this is again the trap that I think a lot of people fall into in self help and spirituality and going to a therapist, is they make these broad sweeping assumptions.

And then their reality conforms to those assumptions. And then they use it as evidence as to why they were right. But what we don't realize is the only reason why that happened is because you believe those things, right? Cause you're right about this. Now there are some broad sweeping assumptions that are very good to make that are helpful, such as, so again, ask yourself the question, do I want to be right about right about this?

Hey, maybe I shouldn't be on the New York city subway alone at 4 30 in the morning drunk being attacked by a rat train. That's dangerous, if you say that to yourself. I would say that's [00:18:00] a good thing to be right about, potentially. The opportunity cost of being right about that doesn't really cost you much, okay?

Now, let's use a different one. There are no good guys in Los Angeles. There are no good guys in whatever city I live in. Do you want to be right about that? Ask yourself that question. Do you want to be right about that? you know, when I was online dating, I experienced this so much.

I would go on these dates and so many girls I would go on dates with were like, I hate online dating. And I was like, I met you on here. How do you think this is gonna go now? Of course, there's a chance it could still be okay, and I get it, I'm not saying it's universal, but do not underestimate the unbelievable power that you have.

So when you have an opinion, like saying everybody is racist, or everybody, everybody's a misogynist, whatever the fuck it is, do you want to be right about that? Cause your brain will then using the reticular activating system, seek out things [00:19:00] to confirm that belief. Or you could just drop it. I have a friend recently who told me she was like, I hate online dating.

I hate it. I haven't been dating in two years. So, but then I was like, you know what? I just want to meet somebody. Like I just want to go on a date and just know that there's still somebody out there. That's good. So she goes on a date. the guy, two hours before she's about to leave, she's getting ready.

He says, I'm not, I can't go anymore and cancels. And then she's like, see, this is why online dating sucks. And I'm like, Okay, alternate reality version of this is, you already thought it sucked, and you went out there to basically get evidence for your claim. And I know that we don't see it like that, and I'm only bringing this up because we are all doing a version of this.

So do you want to be right about the things that you say? Do you want to be right by saying that It's hard to get a job. It's, it sucks in my town. It, there's always so much traffic, everything's so expensive. Do you want to be right about it? Is it worth it to be [00:20:00] right about it? You know, my, my friend kept saying that her business has a terminal illness and I was like, do you want to be right about that?

And she told me recently, she's like, I'm going to stop saying it because I realize how much it's hurting me. I'm like, yeah, that's a fucking big thing. It's one thing if it's like a joke or something that's not that big of a thing, but to say your whole business has a disease? If you don't think this is true, show me one very successful person who talks like this.

One. Does Brad Pitt go around thinking I'm a terrible actor and saying in interviews? Or does he go around thinking everyone wants to fuck me? I think we know the answer to this one. Okay, that's my rant on that, and I hope it was helpful. I bring this up always, just so you know, because it's still me talking to me.

Like, I know for a fact that these are things that I'm still working on, and it's not always easy, but it's good to just subtly catch yourself. No more shitting on yourself either. That's what I want to say to everyone who listens to this podcast. It's, it's like, it can be funny to be self [00:21:00] deprecating and that's cool, but like, if you're internally shitting on yourself all the time, Like, I would say, like, let's stop, let's start leaning against doing that.

Because, nobody thinks, nobody is as critical of you as you are. So, like, let's get on board and realize how amazing you are, and just see what happens. Alright? Okay! I wanted to make a video about this because I think it's very helpful, and I think it would do well, and it would be beneficial the entire world.

But I've basically come up with, because I spent some time in, I spent some time, um, Around a happy couple this last weekend, and I observed them a little bit, and it's a couple that's been married for 40 years probably, almost. Wow, holy shit. And so, three things that you can say to your guy that will help your relationship immensely, and you don't have to have any context for these things.

They don't have to do anything. In fact, It'd be better if you say these things when there is no context, as a [00:22:00] surprise. Because it'd be like a really lovely brain surprise. Okay? So remember that. Three things. And I'm going to s I'm stealing one of these from an interview I did with the amazing Elliot White.

We did it last year. Check out the episode. It's really good. It's called Apparently Men Have Feelings from August 2023. He said this one thing that just was like laughing so hard because it was so true. So one of these is from him in that interview. Okay, three things you can say to a guy that you're dating, or married to, or is your partner that will be tremendously helpful for him and your relationship, that he'll love, okay?

Number one, you're a stud. Just call him a stud a couple times. You're such a stud. And mean it. Just do it. Number two, arguably the most important one. Out of nowhere, when you're with him, pat him on the chest, shoulder, leg. Okay. Even the head and just say you're doing a really good job. [00:23:00] That's it. Hey, I just want you to know You're doing a really good job And it does not have to be for anything because One of the things I saw recently that reminded me of this quote You're doing a really good job is this guy was saying how so many men feel like they're not doing a good job And they like we definitely all feel like we're on a mission.

That's a hundred percent true. I believe that So if you just, like, pat him on the shoulder, and especially coming from you, it will mean so much. Just do it out of nowhere. Hey, you're doing a really good job. What do you mean by that? I just think in general, you're doing a really good job. At you. At life.

Number three, Tommy has a big dick. Go ahead, even if it's not true, lie to him. Lie, lie, lie. Come on, you guys do I've seen you guys do it before. You guys lie all the time about how much you like your friend's jewelry. Just tell him he has a big penis. Just watch what happens, if you do [00:24:00] those three things.

And if you consistently do those three things, I'll see you on the hit new Bravo TV show, World's Greatest Couples, on a boat. Okay, I hope that was all so helpful, and I hope that you have the best day of all time, and I hope you have an incredible week, and as we wind down this year, let's learn to appreciate and enjoy every moment that's given to us, because it's all a gift.

Let's learn every moment, every moment. Every day is starting new, is filled with possibility. So may your days be filled with so much possibility, so much love, so much joy. I believe it's all here for you. I love you. You're the best. Have an incredible week. [00:25:00]