Nick Berry (00:00)
The Business Owner's Journey. I'm Nick Berry and I've got real business owners telling their real stories, sharing their real lessons and strategies so you don't have to figure it all out on your
Nick Berry (00:13)
I'm wrapping up season one of the Business Owner's Journey and doing this special series, the 12 Days of Business. 12 days, 12 episodes, 12 of my previous guests. And today's guest is Jessica Yarmey. Jessica has been in franchising and marketing for over 25 years. And that includes starting her own franchise, running that up to 30 units and then selling. In her first appearance on the show,
The topic began as franchising, but then we quickly turned into handling the middle game of business and it was just a really good conversation. this second discussion started out about New Year's resolutions, but then evolved into exploring if and how you separate the leader that you really are from the content that you're sharing. She shared her intentions for 2025 and said they were to take the filter off and be a more unlikable version of herself.
I don't see Jessica as being unlikable, but I do understand her point. And I think that it's something that any leader building their personal brand has to be thinking about. So I'm glad we were able to bring this to you. I'm glad that she brought it up and shared this message. And remember, you've got to make sure that you're following or subscribed so you get the entire 12 Days of Business series.
I'm happy to email the episodes to you and I'll also send you exclusive guest profiles, and the other resources that we only share through email. To do that, you need to go to nickberry.info slash 12 days. That's the number 12 days.
All right, now enjoy the show in this less filtered version of Jessica.
Jessica Yarmey (01:44)
Yeah, and I think a lot of people are setting goals right now. It's resolution season. And to me, I've been setting resolutions wrong, like for a lot of my career and attaching my resolutions to goals or a destination. And in our first conversation, we talked a lot about like, am I too focused on the destination and not enough focused on the
processes that are going to get me to that destination.
I think if I look at where I am, I'm extremely happy with where I am, but also extremely frustrated because I'm like, I know I can do more. I know there's a next level and why aren't I able to crack through to the next level? And so a lot of this past year, I was looking at like, what's missing? Who's the partner that's missing? The investor that's missing? like external factor that's missing from what? Where's the
Nick Berry (02:35)
The magic ingredient, the secret recipe.
Jessica Yarmey (02:38)
where's the magic ingredient and why is it eluding me? And the more that I really sat with it, the more I realized that the magic ingredient is just me sitting and functioning with a filter over who I really truly am. And I'm showing up as this, I don't want to say dumbed down version of myself, but I'm showing up as a filtered version of myself. And that's not
where I'm going to get to the next level. Like the next level is going to get unlocked by being more authentic, by showing up as me, even if that's not likable to half of the people who follow me. It's just being like unapologetic about who I am and what has got me to this place and showing that more instead of showing a version that I think people will relate to more or like more.
Bottom line is I'm not a likable person. The way I run my show, the way I do business, like I'm not that person. I'm not your best friend. Like I'm gonna get stuff done. And that's what's helped me get to where I am. And so it's just embracing that aspect of myself. And that's what makes me unique. That's what makes me an anomaly. That's what's made me successful. And it also is probably going to be a more
polarizing version of myself that goes out in my content. But if I'm not showing that part, then I'm not being true to the steps that I've taken to get to where I am. And so I feel like I need to show those steps more clearly. And then in the process, become this stronger version that's going to be able to level up in the new year.
Nick Berry (04:25)
Yeah. Polarizing is part of it, right? That comes along with the territory and it doesn't necessarily make you, the things that you just described, don't think make you unlikable. I didn't realize that I was getting such a filtered version in the first episode that we did though. This is exciting.
Jessica Yarmey (04:42)
Well, I think it's like there's layers, right? There's layers of truth to who we are and how we show up. And there's definitely a version of me that is a cheerleader, that is a consensus builder, that is a aggregator and like can be a leader of the people. But that's not my core. You know, the core of who I am and what I do is a lot more intense than how I show up in a lot of my content. And so it's not that it's not
true, but it's not the most authentic version of myself. And it's not showing what's made me successful in the past. And it's not showing what makes me unique. There's a lot of people who are leaders of the people and can be, you know, consensus builders and can be persuasive. Like that's, that's not the part of myself that has made me who I am and where I am today.
Nick Berry (05:36)
So what prompted the epiphany? Like what made you finally say, this is what I'm doing that I need to change?
Jessica Yarmey (05:44)
I listen to a ton of podcasts as I know you do. And I talk to a lot of people and I think it was an Ed Mylet episode that I was listening to and the Tim Grover book that, you know, he's talking about coaching Michael Jordan and he said something along the lines of like, in order to be where you want to be, you have to become who's meant to be there. And that's not the correct way to say it, but it's along those lines like
If you want to be this, you have to be it. And, and I think so many times we set goals or we set intentions of like, that's where I want to be. But then we don't do the work to actually get to that place. And, and I think that was the epiphany of just like, I know there's a next level. And so what's the, what's the missing magic ingredient? And the reality is the missing magic ingredient is something I have full control over.
You know, it's coming from me. And so like, in a way, I'm holding myself back from that next level. And I share that, not for like, sympathy points at all, but I think a lot of people are in that same place where we control more than we realize. And heading into the new year where it's resolution season, like, can we just embrace and control the things that are in our power that we have complete control over?
and not wait for the external factor, not wait for the title, not wait for the partner, not wait for the investor, but like play the cards you have and play them to the best of your ability and stop waiting for those external things to change.
Nick Berry (07:22)
Yeah, I really like that. Don't just set an outcome goal, decide how you want to be and go to work being that. So do you think when you were this previous version and you had this filter, were you totally aware all the time that you had that filter on or did it just kind of end up there and was present?
Jessica Yarmey (07:40)
I think it's, yeah, I think the way that I'm looking at it right now, because this is like work in progress, right? I'm not through the woods yet, but as I look at it, I'm still being authentic and I'm still sharing a version of myself that's true, but I'm not sharing the most powerful version of myself. And yet I want to elevate to this most powerful timeline, this most powerful set of opportunities. I want to be at that next level.
but then I'm holding on to like, here's the slice of myself that's comfortable and that's correct and safe and that's not where the growth comes from. And so I think that's the evolution that I'm working through right now is just like, I get more comfortable sharing what is more polarizing and powerful and that truest version of myself?
Nick Berry (08:32)
I totally understand what you're saying. think about this. So some of the work that I do with other business owners and when we talk about leadership, one of the things that we work on is recognizing who your stakeholders are, your constituents, who are the cohorts or individuals or people that you are trying to influence and how the way that you are.
is going to be tailored to them from situation to situation. And so the more of them that all converge in a situation, the more complex it gets. like, you know, that's why a politician, when they get there, ask a question and then they just say all these words and then there's no answer in there. It's because like, they're just speaking to all constituents in a way that like, I'm just not going to break anything here. Right.
Jessica Yarmey (09:26)
Yeah.
Nick Berry (09:27)
but if they were able to get one of those people cornered, they could give probably a very clear and specific, response to that question. And I think what, as a leader, especially now that we're, there's so much like personal branding and external messaging focus going on. It's created this habit for us, and
that's gone on without even realizing it, that we've started kind of just broadcasting words, right, to all of these cohorts, all these constituents and stakeholders. And it's turned into this like lukewarm sounds, right? It's just not who you are. Even if it's done pretty well, it's not really like moving the people that you're
like that smallest, you know, your, your ideal client profile or whatever. And it's just easy to overlook, right? You can, happens and you don't realize it. And then maybe you have a couple of conversations with somebody who you really do connect with and you're able to say things. You're like, why can't I just say that to every, I could be saying that to everybody. And that like, that's how I had the epiphany.
Jessica Yarmey (10:35)
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Nick Berry (10:39)
It's just, it's like a, it's kind of a trap of the position. and it's a hard thing even being aware of it. It's hard to undo.
Jessica Yarmey (10:46)
The lens that I would look at that through is, you trying to be an influencer or are you trying to build a personal brand? And I think sometimes people look at them as the same thing, but influencer life is really trying to attract and appeal to the masses. It's trying to build an audience. It's trying to get people through affiliate links and things like that. And that's where I think some of the...
the muted messaging comes in or the lukewarm messaging comes in because you don't want to be polarizing. You want to try to pull as many people in as you can. Whereas if you're trying to build a personal brand, you benefit from showing the most authentic version of yourself because personal brand is more about attracting to you the right people to work and do deals together and build businesses. it's, it's, the game is different when you're
trying to build a personal brand versus trying to be an influencer. Like a personal brand is not as much about the numbers, but it's about attracting the right people into your circle so that you all can grow and do bigger things together.
Nick Berry (11:54)
And the right is defined by like what you're for and what you're against and your stance on things, right? Your goals, your values.
Jessica Yarmey (12:03)
Absolutely. And I think if you're, if you're building a personal brand, it's like a two way kind of, kind of deal that you're making with the people who are coming into your community. Whereas influencer life is a little bit like one directional where you are the person and you're just pushing things down to your people. But if you're building a personal brand correctly, it really is this, like you start to like bring people into your community, but then you're a part of their community. And it is like,
like attracts like, and you don't want to attract people who don't share those same values with you or people that you wouldn't want to do business with. It doesn't make sense to have them in your circle. And so I think the way to approach personal brand is just to be as authentic as possible and attract the correct energy into your world.
Nick Berry (12:52)
Sounds so simple when you say it like that
Jessica Yarmey (12:54)
This is a work in progress, This is not work completed. This is work in progress, but it's things that I think about as I put content together and as there are so many people who are leaning on ChatGPT to put their content together, the game will benefit people who can speak in their own voice with their own thing and not lean on or...
Nick Berry (12:55)
Yeah.
Jessica Yarmey (13:18)
or tone themselves down with a chat GPT edit of how they would normally speak. And I think I speak in a way and I post in a way that's familiar and like a friend would write to a friend. And every time I try to optimize with AI, it just makes it into corporate speak. And that's not how I speak. And so why use that tool just to be in that lukewarm pool?
Like I just need to kind of lean into how would I say this? And to your point, like how would I say this to a person that is in my circle right now and someone that I trust? And if the filter's totally off with this person, how is this coming out of my mouth? Like that's kind of what I think about as I'm writing different content for my online channels.
Nick Berry (14:08)
Yeah, same. what you just described, I've kind of gone through the same thing with, you know, trying to use AI, even if it's just to clean up something like, so I'm, not a great writer and I don't enjoy it. So, you know, when I try to use a tool like that, it just like sucks the soul right out of it. but I think part of that's part of the reason why I've enjoyed the podcast so much because I'm able to just have.
a real conversation. Like this is a conversation that you and I would have if we weren't recording right now. you can see the authenticities there, the like imperfection is there. The curiosity is there. Those are things that
Like that's what makes it
Jessica Yarmey (14:44)
Well, and I think there's people who maybe are going into the new year thinking like, want to lean into creating content. I want to lean into my personal brand or lean into influencer life, whatever. Pick your channels, like pick the channels that are going to allow you to show that most authentic version of you. And so for you, it's podcast life and it's having deep, longer conversations with people. But there are people out there who are great at Twitter or X and like great at that short form micro content.
Nick Berry (15:10)
Hmm.
Jessica Yarmey (15:13)
There's other people who post on Medium as written blog content. You don't need to be everywhere, especially when you're first starting out. You need to be on the platform that fits best with who you are authentically, because that's what's going to make it easy to execute on a consistent basis. And it's not going to be a painful chore that gets added to your to-do list.
Nick Berry (15:35)
Which platform is that for you?
Jessica Yarmey (15:38)
I do love podcasting now. I've loved connecting with people and having deeper conversations and just catching up with people that I already know and I just don't connect with enough. But I do have moments of medium inspiration, like I'll write blogs every now and then. then of course, LinkedIn is my favorite just because it can be...
that place of like educational content plus encouragement content, plus a little bit of entertaining content. Like all of those types of content make sense and perform well on LinkedIn. So I like LinkedIn from that aspect. And really regardless of what platform I start a piece of content on, ends up, I will pull everything over to LinkedIn.
Nick Berry (16:26)
Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's so much going on on LinkedIn right now. So what for your going into next year, How are you going to know if you've taken this step well?
Jessica Yarmey (16:36)
That's a really good question. And it's going to be difficult. I don't know how to exactly measure it other than what is coming into my world. Like what am I attracting? And so my hope would be if I do this correctly and I show up as me and I really like put that most authentic piece of myself out there into the world,
that like will attract like and different connections will come into my world that align or different opportunities come into my world that align. And maybe a better measure is those that don't align kind of kind of fall off. And I know you and I look at look at numbers the same way where it's like, yes, I'm looking at it, but I'm also not doing things for the numbers in a way, if I'm making this move correctly and I'm speaking more from a place of like
ultimate truth, the numbers should be worse.
So, or yeah, or different. And I think I just need to be okay with that of like, this is not my most authentic self that's gotten a lot of things done in her career is not the like the super likable, like mass, know, mass numbers of appeal kind of person. And I just need to be okay with that and like lean into it and just be real about like, here's what this actually looks like.
Nick Berry (17:34)
Or different, different for sure.
Yeah, it'll be interesting to see because I think some of that may just come down to framing, so it may not appeal to a bigger audience. Like it's not, maybe not going to do volume numbers, but with there being more depth to the numbers that it does create. So whatever that might look like.
you know, maybe it's going to be fewer relationships, but it's going to open up something else with those relationships that might be, you know, where if your intention is to measure it, then probably could.
Jessica Yarmey (18:28)
Absolutely.
Nick Berry (18:28)
But I think you'll be able to tell like if you're different, right? And that's kind of the idea when you're thinking about things like how do you want to be? Some of it is you will have to be as objective as you can with something that you didn't really have a metric on. Like was this a good step or not?
Jessica Yarmey (18:43)
It's the opposite of a SMART goal, right? It's like everything that they say to outline, it's the exact opposite of that. And it's more so when you see me thriving in 2025, you're gonna know, like I hit that goal. That's how you're gonna know that it's come to life is like, okay, she actually did it. She got to that next level.
Nick Berry (19:02)
Yeah. Well, I think this is awesome. Thank you for letting me know that this was going on and sharing. think I'll definitely be keeping up with you and maybe we can have you come back and we'll talk at certain intervals so you can give an update and say, okay, here's what I figured out now. Here's what's working. Here's what not to do. We'll just give everybody the blueprint.
Jessica Yarmey (19:23)
Yeah, I'm committed to sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, know, the steps along the way versus just sharing the end point and sharing the celebratory moments. And I'm definitely in the work right now. I'm in the mud right now, but I think that's where, you know, people can learn and just take tidbits of things that might apply to their worlds and help us all kind of make that next step, that level up that we're looking for.
Nick Berry (19:49)
Yeah, I totally agree. And I appreciate you being willing to share and let us kind of watch over your shoulder and learn alongside of you.
Jessica Yarmey (19:57)
I appreciate you having this conversation and doing everything that you're doing with your audience and with your platform. We all appreciate you, Nick.
Nick Berry (20:05)
Well, thank
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