13: How Labeling Things as “Unrealistic” is Holding You Back

What if I told you that your dreams are not unrealistic and are you even allowing yourself to truly dream?

Today I want to break apart this entire concept of being logical, responsible, or realistic with our businesses and lives. What if you could have a million dollar business, what if you could find your dream partner, what if you COULD land on the NY Times Bestseller list? I want to dive into who has told you these limiting beliefs, why you believe them and how to break through your glass ceiling. Let's dive in.

Chapters:
00:36 Challenging Conventional Wisdom and Step Into Being a Boss Babe

02:32 The Power of Perspective and Why it’s Holding Your Business back

05:10 Shifting Your Paradigm and Manifesting

08:27 Embracing Your Desires and Manifesting Your Dream Life 

13:37 The Spirituality of Creating a Business and Being an Entrepenur 

Want to go deeper? Apply for The School of Expansion - www.gabriellemartorana.com/TSOE

Send me a DM & let me know you tuned into the episode, I would love to hear from you - www.instagram.com/expandwithgabrielle

Transcript

 [00:00:00] 

Gabrielle: You're listening to expand with Gabrielle, where you will learn how to use ancient wisdom and new age science to create your dream life. Here I ground the woo and demystify powerful spiritual concepts to support your spiritual entrepreneur journey. We are talking out with the old toxic, masculine boss, babe culture of hustle, burnout, and anxiety and in with the creatrix energy of creating through ease, magnetism, and flow.

Gabrielle: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get into it.

Gabrielle: Hello. Hello. So today we're going to dive into and actually just break apart this entire concept of being logical, responsible, or realistic. So let's dive in because I am just so fired up about this. I was talking to one of my students and she was telling me about how she has finally allowed herself to admit.

Gabrielle: [00:01:00] To herself what she wants, right? So there are things that she really wants and for the longest time she didn't even allow herself to think about it because she felt like it was illogical or she felt like it was too far fetched or It wasn't realistic. And so we were talking about what are these words?

Gabrielle: Where do they even come from? And what do they mean? Are they something that we should give any weight to at all? And as you can probably pick up from my energy right now, the overarching answer is absolutely not. Absolutely not. Should we give any weight to these words? But let's talk about where they come from, and let's talk about why they feel so impactful, and why this feels like a legitimate part of the decision making process.

Gabrielle: So when we were raised growing up, right, we were told that certain things were available to us, right? Like, that if you are a C student, that maybe you should shoot for being a B student because that's reasonable. You know, that's, that's close enough that it's not too [00:02:00] far of a stretch. It's not too scary.

Gabrielle: Or if you were making 50, 000 a year, maybe you should ask for a raise to get to the 60, 000 mark, or maybe you should, apply for another position where maybe you make 70, 000 a year. But you know, asking for 100, 000 a year? That's just not realistic. Because, why? Where does this come from? It comes from the idea that, like, the gap?

Gabrielle: between these A and B is too big. Bridging that gap is too big. And that's what makes something realistic or not realistic. But the truth is, is that when people are using these words, they're referencing their own life experiences. They're referencing what they've seen people around them be able to do, what they themselves have been able to do, and what the influences in their life, whether that's social media or the TV or the news or whatever, tells them that they're able to do.

Gabrielle: But this is a perspective. This is all from the vantage point of their life. [00:03:00] It is not truth. And so when you find yourself trying to make a decision and you're weighing in, whether this is logical or responsible or realistic, I would love for you to stop. Stop and pause and think about why, why you feel this way, who told you that it was unrealistic?

Gabrielle: Who told you that it wasn't logical? Who told you that it wasn't responsible? And those who's who told you these things? Do they have what you want? Because if they're not living the life you desire, if they don't have the thing that you're shooting for, then there is no logical reason to listen to them.

Gabrielle: When you take advice from somebody, you're going to get the results that they get. So if they don't have the results that you want, then simply do not take their advice. And so when we're talking about being illogical or being realistic, you have to remember that this is all grounded in their experience.

Gabrielle: And if we, if we change our perspective, so we can use some shamanic [00:04:00] wisdom here. If we look at the way the Mayans or other indigenous cultures, Transport themselves, if you will, to get a new perspective on their life. What they do is they imagine looking at their life from the eagle's perspective, from the condor's perspective, basically from a bird's eye view.

Gabrielle: So if you can sit here right now, whether in your car or wherever you are listening to this podcast, and you can transport yourself outside of yourself and almost look down upon you. And when you're at this vantage point, when you're kind of looking down at your life, like imagine like you're in an airplane and you see all the little people, you see the little tiny cars and the roads.

Gabrielle: You can transport yourself like this. It's one of the powers of being a human. We have imagination. It's a mental faculty. It's something we're capable of doing. When we transport ourselves to be looking down at our life in this way, we can start to see Things we didn't see when we're in the thick of it, right?

Gabrielle: We can start to see maybe patterns at play. We could start to see things we're repeating or experiencing over and over again. We could see the [00:05:00] bigger picture of how life is unfolding. There's a lot of magic to this, to this wisdom of zooming out of your own life and shifting your perspective. Now, when we're talking about something being realistic, it's all perspective.

Gabrielle: So, if I was going to tell you It's really easy to make 10, 000 a year. You might be like, yeah, of course it is. I mean, I make 50 or I make a hundred or I make 200. Of course it's easy to make 10, 000 a year. But if I told you it's really easy to make 10 million a year, you'd be like, what? No, it's not. No one I know makes that kind of money.

Gabrielle: I don't know. Definitely don't know anybody who says that it's easy. All of it is coming down to your little pin of perspective. Like, imagine you're a pin with a little piece of yarn tied to it. Imagine that piece of yarn is like 3 or 4 inches and you draw a circle around your own pin. That's your level of awareness.

Gabrielle: That's your perspective that you're coming to this from. And that's what you're deeming is [00:06:00] realistic. It's everything that's within that little radius that circles your pin. Now, if I went to somebody like Mark Zuckerberg, Or Elon Musk. And I said, you know, making 10 million is really easy. And they'd be like, yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure I make 10 million a day.

Gabrielle: I don't know if that's true, but you know what I mean? Their perspective, it would be absolutely, yes, it is easy. It's so easy. We do it all the time on a regular basis without even really thinking about it. In fact, we're trying to make a billion. So, or maybe we're already doing that. It's all about awareness and it's all about perspective because I could ask a hundred people the same question and I'm going to get a hundred different answers with different levels of awareness.

Gabrielle: The caveat is if I asked all hundred people living maybe in the same area or in the same country or from the same economic. Standpoint their answers would in fact most likely be the same now. Does this mean that it's true? No [00:07:00] What does this mean? What does this mean? If all the people around you are telling you the same thing?

Gabrielle: It means they have the same paradigm. It means they have the same core belief system It means that how they operate their life and what they believe to be true is the same It does not mean that it's absolute truth. It just means you're in an echo chamber of the same paradigm You So this is really important to think about if you're trying to break outside of the paradigm.

Gabrielle: If you're trying to remove yourself from those results, if you're tired of repeating those same patterns, if you're tired of hitting that income glass ceiling, then you need to shift your awareness. You need to shift what you believe is realistic, what you believe is possible because it's all perspective.

Gabrielle: It is not fundamental. It is not ultimate truth. It's just what you're available to see right now. It's just what you're exposed to right now. It's just what everybody's told you or what your past has told you. That's another thing is that one of [00:08:00] the biggest mistakes that we could make is by making decisions based off of past experiences, because that means we're going to keep getting results that are in alignment with the past.

Gabrielle: So if you don't want to keep getting the exact same results over and over and over again, you have to stop letting the past put parameters. around what you think is possible, what you think is realistic, what you think is worth doing or worth fighting for, worth creating, or worth even allowing yourself to dream about.

Gabrielle: Like, if we circle all the way back to the beginning of this episode, my student was just even allowing herself to think, just to think about what she wanted. not fall in love with it, not take action on it, not even tell anybody about it, literally just admit it to herself. So if this is resonating with you, if there's something that has been kind of like nibbling at you, like, kind of like just glistening in the corner of your eye, like I'm here.

Gabrielle: And I know you want this. I know you've been thinking about this. Let yourself [00:09:00] look, let yourself entertain the idea, let yourself think about it, even if it feels silly, even if it feels illogical or irresponsible or unrealistic, because it's always going to feel an arm's distance away. It's always going to feel impossible if we don't allow ourselves to think about it.

Gabrielle: The most ironic part about this whole thing is that. Somewhere along the line, we were convinced that if we don't let ourselves get our hopes up that it's going to protect us in some way, like if I don't let myself dream about what I really want, like, let's say I want to be a New York Times bestselling author, right?

Gabrielle: Like some big, huge, beautiful goal. And I'm like, well, that's unrealistic, right? Because I don't know anybody who's done that. And supposedly only X percent of people in the world get that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like all the made up stories around why that's not possible. And I don't even let myself to think about it.

Gabrielle: There's this like warped side of me that thinks that somehow I'm protecting myself from disappointment. Somehow I am going to protect myself from [00:10:00] feeling sad or feeling shame or something around like not getting what I desire. But when I do that, when I don't allow myself to think about being a New York Times bestseller, what am I doing?

Gabrielle: I'm actually guaranteeing that I never become a New York Times bestseller. So I am putting the nail in the coffin, like sealing the deal, but that is never going to happen. And that's so sad because the truth is, is that it absolutely will happen if I decide that's what I want. If I allow myself to think about it and I commit to it and I take these action steps on it.

Gabrielle: It will absolutely come into my reality. I will create that. I know that I can create that. The fact that any other human on this earth has done it is proof to me that I can do it. But if I sit here and think, Oh, that's not realistic. Oh, that's not responsible. Oh, that's illogical. And I think that somehow that's protecting myself from not being disappointed.[00:11:00] 

Gabrielle: What I'm actually doing is setting myself up to feeling empty, to feeling lost. To feeling confused as like why I feel so dissatisfied in this life and it's because I'm not allowing myself to connect with my life force energy. Our desires are so sacred. If I have the desire to be a New York Times bestseller, I have that desire for a reason.

Gabrielle: Not everybody wants to be a New York Times bestseller. Just like not everybody wants to be an actress. Just like not everybody wants to be, I don't know, a shoe model. There's so many specific things that people want that are so unique to them that are so unique to you And you want what you want for a reason like it wants to come through you for a reason and you will be so surprised How all your life experiences up until this point fit perfectly into creating that that's the part that just shocks me Like you would think I'd not be shocked at this one time like how many times I've seen and experiences with myself and my clients But I still like I'm in [00:12:00] awe and wonder at spirit or the universe or whatever you want to call it.

Gabrielle: Just how perfectly things line up. Like an example is me launching the school of expansion, how I just happened to have the perfect experience, like the life experiences, the travel, like the time with the shamans, like owning my own businesses and scaling them. I have the entrepreneur side and the spiritual side, and then I know how to create all of this online and it's just so easy and fluid for me and how I just happen to have all of those skill sets that seem so random at the time of what I was working on and what I was learning.

Gabrielle: And they all come to this crazy pinnacle of being able to create this thing right now. And I can say the same thing for Andres and his villa projects here in Bali, like all his project management skills, real estate skills, construction skills, and they seem so random when he was getting them throughout his life, but they all come together perfectly.

Gabrielle: And this is true for you, too. Whatever it is that's calling to you, whatever that sacred desire is, whatever you really, really want, allow yourself to see it. [00:13:00] Admit it. Like, don't even just admit it. Just like shine the light on it. Like fully open yourself to feeling it and falling in love with it. You're not saving yourself heartache.

Gabrielle: You're not saving yourself suffering by trying to ignore it or pretend like you don't really want it because that's how we become empty shells of a human is by pretending that we don't have these sacred stars. We do, and we have them for a reason. And you can't tell me a single, a single desire.

Gabrielle: That is illogical, that is irresponsible, that is unrealistic because you have it for a reason and it wants to be created for a reason and that in itself is divine and spiritual. And that's why starting a business is actually a really spiritual process because you're in the process of creation. I mean, anything around creation is divine.

Gabrielle: It's beautiful. It's magical. It's mystical. Like creating a baby is mystical. Growing a garden is mystical. It's just, it's just amazing to see how you can create something out of nothing. And it's something so beautiful and it takes bravery to lean [00:14:00] into. So what I hope that you take out of this episode today is that there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that is too illogical, too irresponsible, too unrealistic for you to stop you from pursuing your goal, from pursuing your dream, from allowing yourself to even admit to yourself what it is that you really desire.

Gabrielle: And the fact that you even have the desire in the first place is a message. It's a sign. So I hope you enjoyed this episode today. If you did, I would love, love, love to hear from you. Please send me a message. I'm @expandwithgabrielle on Instagram and I would love to hear which of these ideas really sparked something in you or if you have any, anything that wants to come through or be creative.

Gabrielle: I hope to hear from you soon. creative.